Wednesday, 20 June 2018


When I went to meet Tavayogi at the Sri Agathiyar Gnana Peedham in Batu Caves in 2005 for the very first time, a man walked into the room and after some time questioned me if I had any problems. I did not and told him so, but he adamantly kept asking me as if he wanted me to go into submission and admit that I had. I kept telling him I had no problem. Then he told me that all those who came, came with problems.

As I began to spend time with Tavayogi at this Peedham, I saw that what Bala (the guy) told me seemed to be true. Many came with their problems with an expectation that Tavayogi could solve it for them. And many came with so many questions too expecting answers from Tavayogi. As for the former Tavayogi listened but refrained from giving solutions. Instead he would tell them that the reason they were going through the hardship and misery was because of their vinai or past karma; and would asked that they pray or sing the praise (Potrungal); next he would show them who to pray to - the Siddhas. This was his standard solution to all of lives problems.

As for the later, he would sit and entertain all the questions put to him, encouraging them to ask more. These question and answer session would stretch and extend into the late hours of the night.

When some strangers came along and shared their problems with me and my wife, we would listen and advise them. We soon found out that these free counsel were not appreciated by their spouses and landed us in hot soup. When I referred to Tavayogi regarding the counseling that went wrong, he blasted me asking me why I interfered. He told me to refer them to the big guy sitting in my home - Agathiyar. Let them pour their hearts out to him he said. We learnt to zip up after that. We also learnt that we should not have fallen for the stories of devotees visiting individually; instead to listen to both life partners to get both sides of the stories. It was a learning process for us and we took it in our stride.

Today we show visitors to AVM, to Agathiyar directly, and ask them to light a ghee lamp and pray that their desires are fulfilled, their illness cured or sorrows removed. We encourage them to chant the names of the Siddhas as we were taught and stand back taking the stance of just watching the divine act on their wishes.

Then when many who were on this path of worship to the Siddhas, came around mentioning that their wishes were not granted even after carrying out all the askings of the Siddhas to the very word, I too was baffled and lost for words. I felt sad that I could not bring solace and peace to their aching hearts. I felt sad that their troubles had not gone away. What went wrong? Why aren't the Siddhas doing something about it? They came with problems. We told them to come to the worship of the Siddhas. We told them to read their Nadi for solutions. They started the worship. They consulted the Nadi. They carried out the remedies too. Yet there was no solution in sight.

Soon their sadness became my sadness. I took up their cases with Agathiyar seeking some divine intervention for them. My prayer today has extended to include all who came to AVM seeking solace and peace. We are waiting patiently for the Siddhas to move the chess pieces.

On the other hand many came back with good news telling us their wishes had been granted. We were happy for them.

Just as we begin to think that we have the answers to lives mysteries, something comes along that brings us to square one. This is where we are equally baffled and do not fully comprehend the mystery of life and its inner workings. Besides this there are many mysteries out there that has not been revealed and kept under lock and key. I am looking forward to the day when these wisdom and knowledge would dawn on us and we would have a complete understanding of all that is happening and taking place.

Journeying on this path, Agathiyar gave us rituals to complete which we have carried out diligently for years. Today we have minimized these rituals but instead prefer to just sit in his presence. No ritual, no mantra, no chanting, no singing; just being in the present.

We do not see the need to consult the Nadi but instead are waiting for him to address us directly without a medium.

We understand that our role has changed, from living for us to living for others, from self gratification to that of gratifying the needs of others.

We have learnt to go with the flow, drop our desires and instead fulfil his commands.