MORE LEARNING

Man who marveled at nature and its creator soon began to idolize him in statues that soon became temples and places of worship. Man who connected directly with god soon began to depend on middlemen to reach god. Ancient cultures revered nature and worshipped it. Modern man thinks he is a superior race and trashes and tears down nature. He is so embroiled in enmity for all the wrong reasons that he never gives a moment towards nature. Man forgets easily that he needs other beings and nature to survive together. But there seems to be hope, and it is happening already. 

In "Changing Planet: River Restoration" on the BBC, we are told,

The whole ecosystem was damaged, and numbers of Chinook salmon fell by more than 90 per cent. This had a profound impact on members of the local indigenous tribes, such as the Yurok and the Karuk, who have lived alongside the 254 miles of the Klamath for thousands of years....Now, after decades of campaigning, the dams are being demolished. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/)

In the USA, they are bringing down four dams for the sake of the salmon. We are shown these moments where the dams are demolished, which will enable the salmon to reach their spawning grounds to breed.

Tavayogi obliged my wish to carry out my very first Annadhanam or serving free food at his Kallar Ashram when I was there the very first time in 2005 after seeing photos of children in the neighborhood being fed. Many years later, in 2013, Agathiyar brought several youths to my home, and we engaged in feeding the poor and hungry, first in the welfare homes, old folks homes, children homes, and later took this aid to the streets, feeding the homeless, subsequently branching into handing out groceries to those who had a roof over their heads but were poor and unfortunate. Then he had us stop this in 2019. This directive came in the wake of the pandemic. He asked me to go within. When Agathiyar asked us to stop, we did have the question crop up in our minds of what would happen to them and who would help them now. But Agathiyar asserted that somebody else shall continue the work. Many years later, my wife told me that we were getting "high" in doing this. This act though noble, was secretly working on building our egos, she felt. If allowed to continue, we would be caught in the vicious net of attachment. Hence it was halted we assumed. We began to ask ourselves, too, if we were making the recipients dependent on these handouts for life. 

My daughter shared a video of how damaging aid can be. The video at "PragerU" was both shocking and saddening. Senegalese entrepreneur Magatte Wade made it clear on the onset that,

"To be clear, I’m not speaking about aid in response to an emergency like a natural disaster. But these disasters are rare. “Development aid” is an ever-flowing river of money and goods, and it’s destroying a continent."

We, too, I guess, began to "measure success by money spent and goods distributed, not by actual economic development or the creation of profitable businesses", as she said further. 

"Even more frustrating is how this system creates a culture of dependency that diminishes their dignity." Indeed, we had contributed towards eroding their dignity further too. We carried videos of these handouts on YouTube and other social media.  Realizing this some time back, I have made these videos private since then.

Magatte Wade says it aptly, "Condescension cloaked in do-goodism." I guess we had joined the fold of the "misguided kindness of strangers," as she says. 

We have come to realize that Agathiyar had given us an experience through this, and that we had to move on to seek other experiences as well. Hence the reason for bringing the shutters down of charity.

WALKING TALL

What are stories but a moment in (his)tory. Similarly, what are images but snapshots from a timeline? We have captured, retained, and repeated these stories, some word-for-word and others altered. Norman Rockwell's graphic depiction of these misinterpretations through an illustration that appeared in "Reader's Digest" many years ago is a classic example of how much things can differ from the original. The story and message in this classic artwork changed along the way as it was retold when it came in a full circle and returned to the ears of the original source, distorted!

Much that we know has come by way of mouth, carried from generation to generation. Parts and bits of the stories might have been lost in translation or modified and manipulated, leaving us to either believe, doubt them, or totally reject them. I have had close, prominent people in several instances make a mistake in conveying a story that had me in the picture, too. One was uttered verbally in a gathering, and the other came out in print. But I chose not to correct them. I wonder now how much of what we hear and read is true? Is this the reason Agathiyar says that we have not truly understood our Puranas or Godly stories? If the mode of transmission was by way of mouth those days, now we have the net and social media. We have to verify what we download or share is true and not false. Similarly, aside from stories, we have taken these images from the past, reproduced them, and have been worshipping them to this day. But with AI assembling images, it might create and add to the already existing library.

Agathiyar, who has access to countless untold and unsolved mysteries, chooses to remain silent, though. I guess it is the will of Kala (Time) and the play of Maya (Illusion) that has veiled them. Reading his Agathiyar Gnanam disturbed me as to the authenticity of texts that we considered sacred. He has mentioned that much of history has been manipulated for personal gains by certain quarters or individuals. He even paints pictures of fraud gurus. Chitramuthu Adigal, too, I understand, has touched on false gurus and teachings. 

We often come across cases of the very fence eating into the crops, where people in authority, who are supposed to care and protect us, tend to carry out atrocities. We often come across even the spiritual gurus engaging in sexual misconduct. We are to blame. We are the reason for falling victim to such situations at times. With some care and thought, we could avoid tragedies. But as it is said that it was all a divine will, that is the will of the individual soul too; things happen as they do, for us to experience and learn. 

With dangers lurking out there even in the religious and spiritual path, the only way to gain authentic knowledge then is for the gurus to walk out of their Samadhis and come to verify the truth of their teachings and the authenticity of their works. All else is an interpretation of an individual. 

A true Gnani would have walked a similar path, but eventually, upon realizing that the divine is all-pervasive and around and in all of its creation and even beyond, would let go of all his hold, not only on property and assets, position and authority, but even his previous beliefs and practices. Just as we slowly chip the granite to reveal the image of God within it, we arrive at the state and being of the completely evolved soul, or rather, the unveiling of the true self happens. 

It is time we respected not only others but ourselves and being first. Is this the reason Agathiyar asked that I walk tall and with pride that we are all his children? Walk the path and walk tall to arrive at your story that your soul is waiting to tell. Yes, we tend to make a date and sit around talking about ourselves and listening to others' stories, but we fail to listen to our soul within that is waiting eagerly to share its story. Please do find some time to be with yourself and begin to listen to your soul speak instead. When asked, in the "Next Level Soul Podcast" of Neale Donald Walsch, author of "Conversations with God", how God came to him, he answered, "A voiceless voice". 

And I described it actually, in in the books, as a voiceless voice, like the sound of your own thoughts, ....That thought doesn't come to me with a sound of a male voice or a female voice or an older man's voice. I don't hear my own thoughts .... So the sound of my thoughts does not have any particular verbal characteristic or vocal characteristic....Actually, I describe it as a voiceless voice, much like the sound of one's own thoughts. That's how I experienced it. You know, I asked a question, and bingo, an answer came to me in a voiceless voice, but it was clear enough that I could take dictation and write down what I was hearing. And so I did. I did exactly that. I wrote down what I was hearing in my mind, Beautifully said.

Just as Surendran, who dropped by my home some days back, asked how I saw Agathiyar now, after traveling some 23 years with him, Neale too was asked the same: "Now, how, how has your understanding of God changed since that first book, or has it changed since that first book?"

It hasn't changed since the first book, but it changed dramatically from what I from the way I experienced God before the first book, but since the first book, which changed my experience of God. Dramatically, nothing has really changed. And of course, after the first book, there were eight other books, so there are 3000 pages of dialog in all and honestly, those pages simply advanced the dialog and advanced my understanding of who and what God is, who and what we are and why we're here on the planet.

But Neale was so humble to admit that, 

But in my understanding, you know, and I could be wrong. I why. I'll make this very clear in every interview I do, I could be wrong about all of that. It's simply my own understanding, just as the pope declares his understanding. ....But in my case, I could be wrong about all of it, it's just simply my understanding of what I was told. 

COMING TO A FURTHER UNDERSTANDING

Many answers dawn, and the reasons for Agathiyar to have me do a thing or otherwise be still became evident and obvious as I came across this video.

Ibn Arabi is said to have asked the following question.

"As time flows, you believe you exist. As you walk into the future, you think you are experiencing something new. That destiny awaits you like a blank page yet to be written. But what if everything has already happened? What if you're only living what has already been?"

Ibn Arabi asks this question from such a place that it shatters your entire perception of time because to him destiny is not written. Destiny is read. In other words, you're not creating your fate. You're witnessing what has already been written. You are in a state of witnessing. And life is like a book you're reading. But you are not the author of that book.

If destiny is read, is this not what the Siddhas do and reveal when we go for a Nadi reading? If we are witnessing what has already been written, is this why the sages tell us to do nothing and that all is well and going as it should? Are we then, or rather the Ego in us, trying to deceive ourselves into believing otherwise and outsmart or change what has been written? Is this why the wise ask us to just be a witness and do nothing further? Are we here, then, to play our assigned roles and leave?

If we generally believe that "Time flows linearly, that we come from the past, arrive at the present, and walk toward the future, but Ibn Arabi says time is circular. The beginning is in the end. The end is in the beginning. The secret of the universe is hidden in the circle, not in the line. Because the line gives you a direction, but the circle reveals wholeness. Everything is contained within. Everything happens at once. And the moment you realize this, you discover the freedom that exists within your destiny."

This is what Tavayogi said, or rather wrote, when I asked him to autograph my copy of his book "Andamum Pindamum" back then. He wrote, "God lives in your heart, from where the journey starts and ends, too."

For Ibn Arabi, destiny is not a script stolen from your hands. On the contrary, it is the plan that most perfectly fits your truth. Whatever your essence is, what befalls you reflects that the language of your soul shapes the story you live. And this story isn't written with ink. It is written with truth.

Is this the reason Agathiyar keeps telling me that he has something for me (to do), that he is not revealing for now, hence postponing complete solitute and passing on when I ask of him?

Allah knows your depths even before you do and places in your life the perfect mirrors for your becoming.

This is echoed by God and carried in Neale Donald Walsch's series of books, "Conversation with God". For instance, in the story of the Little Soul in Neale's parable, "The Little Soul and the Sun," he knows that he is light but wants to experience it. As in the world of the absolute, only knowing is, but there is no experience, and as Neale wrote, knowing who he was was not enough; he needed to become "it", the soul decides to come down to earth to experience itself as Light. From a list of many, he is given a choice to pick the desired action that he would like to do, once he is on earth. He chooses the act of forgiving. Another soul immediately steps up to join the Little Soul in fulfilling his wish by being the perpetrator so that the young soul can then forgive him. They both come down to earth to live out their desire.  This desire triggers a chain of events, a learning process takes place, and several experiences are recorded, whereby the soul becomes enriched through these experiences. 

We learn from Neale Donald Walsch's "The Wisdom of the Universe" that for us to experience something, the exact opposite is created, we, being light in essence, for want of experiencing it, had darkness and all opposites created for us. As all the souls are perfect, many wanted and volunteered to come down to help us gain the experience. Thus, we had all known each other earlier. We had planned to be together here. Those who needed a particular experience chose to come early, while others remained behind to join later. As we are told that the souls have agreed upon to come along or later in our lives to help us experience what we sought to learn, they are mirrors that reflect us, too, since we are all souls from the one source. Thus, for instance, we find ourselves living with a spouse who is the exact opposite or forced to live in a condition that we despise. Though we cannot change much of what is inherent in another, or already there, we need to rejoice that we are different, or rather, in Neale's words, "that which we Really Are". 

We continue with Ibn Arabi's reasoning.

One of those mirrors is joy. Another is loss. Another is friendship. Another is betrayal. But all of them exist to show you yourself. This is what destiny is. Destiny is not what happens to you. It is the truth hidden within what happens.

Ibn Arabi now addresses the one question that is going on in all our minds.

But what about free will? If everything has already happened, then what am I choosing?

Here he introduces one of his most profound ideas. Will is an attribute of Allah that flows through you. You choose, but that choice aligns with Free will, your essence. You are choosing the person you were always meant to be. Wherever your essence pulls you, that is your destiny.

The Muslims are known to say, "If God wills." Is this the reason Agathiyar, in coming to us, addresses our souls instead of seeing us as a person? 

Once again, is this the reason Agathiyar keeps telling me that he has something for me (to do), that he is not revealing for now, hence postponing complete solitute and passing on when I ask of him? Do I need to carry out his last will before I am relieved of this body?

Agathiyar, through a memo to us, explained the mystery of the soul that is reflected by Ibn Arabi.

The Soul or Atma keeps both the body, or Udal, and Lifebreath, or Uyir, under its grip. But the Atma holding on to us between 1 and 5 Varahai, a time period used in the ancient days that I have yet to find an equivalent terminology or reference to present times, soon loses its grip on us as the individual Ego arises. 

"Nevertheless, the Atma that was veiled will return unto him depending on his actions. When the Atma in you pulls you to a path, and if you realize it, it appears as an Athirvu or vibration and disappears. If you practice extending this vibration in you, you shall merge in this vibration that is the Atma and arrive at  Erai/ Agathiyan."

ஆன்மா உடலையும் உயிரையும் தனது கட்டுப்பாட்டுக்குள் வைத்துக் கொள்ளும் ஒரு சூச்சமம். இந்தச் சூச்சமத்தை பிறந்த குழந்தைகள் 1  முதல் 5 வராகை வரையிலும் உடன் இருந்து மறையும். ஆனபோதிலும் ஆன்ம ஒருவரின் செயலைப் பொறுத்தே மீண்டும் அவனை வந்து சேரும். ஆன்மா உன்னோடு இருந்து உன்னை ஒரு பாதைக்கு இழுத்து செல்லும் அப்போது நீ அதனை உணர்ந்தாள், உன்னில் அதிர்வாய் தோன்றி மறையும். அந்த அதிர்வினை நீ உனக்குள் நீடிக்கப் பழகினால் உன்னால் ஆன்மா என்னும் உனது அதிர்வுகளில் ஊடுருவி என்னுள் (இறை / அகத்தியன்) வந்து சேர ஒரு வழி. 

Furthermore, coming through a devotee, Agathiyar, in telling us that time and tide do not wait for a man, asks us to make a decision on time and stick to it, to walk the journey we decide, for our decision is that of the Atma. That decision belongs to the Atma. That Atma belongs to him. He asked that we fear not the decision we made and walk the path.

காலம் உங்களை நிறுத்தி விடாது. புரண்டு ஓடும். காலத்தில் நிலையாய் ஒரு முடிவினை எடுத்து அதன் பின் செல்லுங்கள். இவ்விடத்தில் ஒரு முடிவு செய்து விட்டால் அதனோடு பயணிங்கள். தளர்ந்தால் குழப்பம் மட்டுமே மிஞ்சும். உங்களுடைய முடிவு உங்களின் ஆன்மாவையே சார்ந்தது. அந்த ஆன்மா என்னையே சார்ந்தது. யாருக்கும் எவருக்கும் பயமின்றி என் வழியில் வாருங்கள்.

Pon. Govindasamy, in his book "Vallalaarum Brahma Gnana Sangamum", Bharath Book Bureau, Chennai, draws a chain of evolution here. The souls that were once atoms took on the form of Bhuta Ganangal. Later, changing into minerals, took on the plant form. Taking the forms of animals, they were reborn as humans. Finally, they end the journey here as Jeevan Muktas. Thus, the journey is already charted for every one of us. It is just a matter of space-time before it is attained, or should I say reduced to its original form. 

அணுக்களாகயிருந்த ஆன்மாக்கள், பூதவர்க்கங்களாக உருவெடுத்துப் பின் தாது வர்க்கங்களாக மாறி, பின் தாவர வர்கத்தையடைந்து, பின் விலங்கு வர்க்கத்தில் புகுந்து, பின் மானிட வர்க்கத்தில் ஜனனம் எடுத்து, இறுதியில் ஜீவன் முக்தர் வர்க்கத்தில் பரிபூரண தசையையடைகின்றன.

Agathiyar, speaking about this human birth, which is considered rare by many saints, reminds us that we were not given this birth to live a mundane human life. We can only rid the karma that we had gathered throughout the numerous births by taking a human birth. We can never be assured that we shall take another human birth. Hence, having taken it, we are asked to fulfill its purpose. We are to seek Atma Vidutalai or Soul Liberation.

மனித பிறவி என்பது அபூர்வமானது. அது கிடைத்தது உங்களின் மனித வாழ்க்கையை வாழ்வதற்கு அல்ல. கோடான கோடி பிறவியில் நீங்கள் செய்த கர்மவினை மனிதபிறவி எடுக்கும்போது மட்டுமே கழிக்க முடியும். இப்பிறவியில் மனிதானாய் பிறந்தவன் மற்றொரு பிறவியில் மனிதனாய் பிறப்பான் என்பது ஊர்ஜிதமல்ல. எடுத்தபோதே அதனை நிறைவேற்றிக் கொள்ளுங்கள். ஆன்ம விடுதலை நோக்கிச் செல்லுங்கள் இல்லறவாழ்க்கை எப்போதுமே சுகமாய் இருக்கும். 

Agathiyar reveals that while the body or Udal that takes a form, which is a composite of the 5 tattvas, returns to these tattvas, the Lifebreath or Uyir merges with the Atma and reaches him as Jothi. When he says we shall reach him, it has to be taken that we come to a realization that he and we are one. Returning to the source is returning to Jothi.

உடல் என்பது பஞ்ச பூதங்களில் உரு பெற்று மீண்டும் பஞ்ச பூதங்களிடம் சென்று விட்டால் உயிராகியது ஆன்மா வோடு கலந்து ஜோதிநிலையில் எம்மை வந்து அடையும். 

Agathiyar reveals a misconception that many, including I, had and that I had carried in many of my earlier posts, that the Atma carries the imprints of karma. It is not so. I stand corrected. Agathiyar reveals that, contrary to this general understanding, the Atma does us a service in helping clear our karma by showing us the way. Once karma has cleared, the search to know the Atma intensifies. His search for his selfish gain loses its intensity. His seeking would be solely on knowing the Atma (Agathiyar) and reaching him. 

ஆன்மா உனது கர்ம வினை தாங்கி வருவது அல்ல, ஆனால் ஆன்மாவே உனது கர்ம வினையைச் சரிசெய்வதற்கு உதவி புரியும். கர்மவை சரி செய்த பின், ஆன்மாவின் தேடல் அதிகமாகி மனிதனின் அன்றாட தேடல் தீர்ந்து போகும். அவன் தேடல் முழுதாய் என்னையே தேடி வர முயற்சி செய்யும்.

Ibn Arabi sums up destiny beautifully.

Destiny is not a script imposed from the outside. It is the voice of your inner being. But hearing that voice is not easy. The mind wants other roads. Ambition drags you elsewhere. Fear pushes you aside. But the heart always calls you home. Ibn Arabi says your path is your essence. To stray from it is to forget who you are. This is why destiny is not a chain. Destiny is harmony with essence. And time is merely the witnessing of this harmony.

Tavayogi did indeed echo these words that the heart always calls you home. Agathiyar, coming through the Nadi, asking me to come to the worship of the Siddhas, called me home. Tavayogi, upon arriving, called us to leave devotion and come home to Gnanam. Agathiyar later tells me that Gnanam shall dawn when we traverse the many chakras and arrive home at Sahasrara. Here, then, one shall see the clear picture as the veils have dropped one by one. This was symbolically shown by Ramalinga Adigal at his Satya Gnana Sabai in Vadalur. As Tavayogi says, our efforts and the guidance of an external guru are only needed as far as Svadishtana, and after that, the divine shall lead us on, Agathiyar too echoes the same, telling me that the energy that was released as a result of my practice of the Asanas and Pranayama techniques given as a treasure by him through Tavayogi shall do its work. He meant that it shall find its way home without my effort, hence asking me to do nothing henceforth. 

Ibn Arabi tells us that 

God gives you will. He gives you intellect. He gives you conscience and you walk with them. As you walk, you make choices. And as you make choices, you begin to decode your destiny. But that destiny is already written and the writing is carved into your being. So as you walk through the world, you are reading your own soul. You think you are observing the outside world, but that world is just a reflection of your inner state like a mirror. But that mirror doesn't show you who you are today. It shows you who you are meant to become.

Agathiyar too speaks about the invincible strength of man. That strength Agathiyar says is the Arivu, the ability to think clearly, that can bring down walls. Never submit to failure, he says.

ஈசனால் படைக்கப் பட்ட மனிதனுக்கு ஆற்றலாய் அறிவு இருக்கிறது. யாம் அதை எப்போதுமே ஆற்றல் என்று கூறுவோம். மனிதனின் ஆற்றலைக் கொண்டு எதையும் சாதிக்கலாம். துவண்டு பொய் அமர வேண்டாம். 

Ibn Arabi sums it up, telling us that 

Every experience you live is a teaching and that teaching becomes visible through the flow of time. But you think you are living it. In truth, everything already happened. You are only witnessing it. And as you witness, you understand. And as you understand, you return to yourself.

As Tavayogi autographed, Ibn Arabi says that,

Everything has been written but that writing is hidden in your heart. The insana kamill, the perfected human is the one who can read that writing, the one who knows their destiny and lives its depth. That knowledge comes through kash unveiling. An inner veil is lifted. You begin to see. And when you see, time breaks because the past, the present, and the future appear to you through the same window. The one who experiences this no longer rushes, no longer fears. They no longer cling to the future because they know everything has already happened.

As he says, only a perfected human, the Jeevan Muktan, and the Siddhas are privileged to know this secret that the past, present, and future are one. 

Ibn Arabi says of the final lap that of going within.

Destiny is fixed in Allah's knowledge, but it is revealed through your inner journey. Meaning as you walk, new paths do not appear in front of you. Those paths were always there. You are only beginning to see them. And with each vision, something inside you remembers.

Is this why J. Krishnamurti calls it the pathless path?

To sum it all up, we are to just live life to its fullest without any guilt, fear, apprehension, and to face and handle all that comes our way, as these episodes shall shape us, help rediscover our true Self. Knowing this, our Ego leaves us. We arrive at our destiny. This brings us to the state of acceptance and peace.

A feeling of this is it. A sense of this place is already familiar because truth is a part of you and every part longs to return to its whole. This return is what Ibn Arabi calls seer Isuluk, the spiritual journey within. It is a turning inward. 

MUSIC

I had written in an earlier post that "I have come to believe that what politicians and spiritual and religious leaders failed to do, music and musicians have. They have brought souls together, crossing the various and numerous divides that these leaders have created. While the political arena is tense with fiery words and the religious and spiritual discourses filled with fear and suppression, it is in music concerts that the soul sings and dances to the tune without fear or favor."

Joshua Bell says the same too, with a question and in a much beautiful manner and words.

Do we need classical music anymore? Is it is it relevant?..... I want you to imagine walking into your hometown concert hall. You're there to hear the symphony. So, what happens there? Okay, you take a seat and the musicians start filing onto the stage. Each one of those musicians has spent a lifetime, tens of thousands of hours mastering their craft. And each instrument in their hands is a self piece of history, a testament to human ingenuity and creativity. The conductor walks onto the stage and he gives a downbeat and the room comes alive with the sounds of the symphony.

Every note has a direction. Every harmony has a purpose. And you sit there in the audience being taken on a journey. Not just being entertained passively, but actively listening and using your imagination. And you're doing it alongside thousands of other people from different walks of life, different ages, races, religions, political persuasions. None of those differences at that moment mean anything because you're unified by the music and reminded of your shared humanity. So, don't you think we need that in today's world?

THE MANY CONDUITS

If my parents introduced me to temple worship and the Gods and Goddesses they and their ancestors worshipped, I took to reading about customs, tradition, and later religion out of curiosity. It was not until 43 years later, in 2002, that the Nadi connected me to Agathiyar. Agathiyar then connected me to Supramania Swami, who connected me to his guru lineage. Later, with the coming of Tavayogi, the latter connected me to my breath, giving me what Agathiyar describes as a treasure. He gave me a set of Asanas and Pranayama techniques that I diligently practiced. The Prana absorbed began to do wonders within, enhancing my senses at the same time. The rituals shown to me that I took up drew the bridge and brought down the Siddhas from their realms to mingle amongst us. Soon, the energy within began to connect with that of the Siddhas, whereby they came within and spoke too. Today, this energy transmission extends beyond me and connects me with people of all walks of life, with whom I come into contact, bringing chills and instant bliss within, what was first experienced in the temples. If initially my parents, siblings, relatives, and friends showered their love on me, then came the gurus who went beyond and showered me with their grace. Finally, the Siddhas, Gods and Goddesses, and Prapanjam have come to connect directly and shower their grace. What else does a man want?

Tracing back this journey of a mere 23 years, I could provide a preliminary overview and list a short timeline of events as follows.

• Coming to know why I took this body through the Nadi reading by the Siddhas. 2002
• Coming to worship the Siddhas. 2002
• Following a guru and finding my own path later. 2005 - 2018
• Knowing my "Self". 2024
• Connecting back to my source.
• Becoming the Watcher.

It is said that walking the spiritual path is akin to walking on a sharp razor. It will either make us or break us. Many have gone cuckoo or fallen from grace because of their actions. After much effort and divine grace arriving at and standing at the door to the Lord's kingdom, one has to be watchful of the trap door waiting to swallow us. Past desires, and vasanas, might surface then and bring us down. One has to be continuously watchful. In taking down these notes, it is more of a reminder for me rather than advice for my dear readers. I have to keep reminding myself of these dangers constantly lurking behind even the best of things, that trap and shackle us, bringing shame if we are not careful.

LETTING GO

Holding Agathiyar's hands and walking with him, for the past 23 years, or so I thought, I have come to realize and understand that everything was and is his doing, good or bad. Looking back now, I fully understand that he was in charge from day one. No wonder he told me some time back that we have known each other for several crores of years. So what is mine to claim then? What is mine to take credit for? The very breath is his. The soul, the JeevAtma, is his, a part of the ParamAtma. If he brought together my parents, my parents provided for the body, where elements from both my parents in specific proportions came together to become an embryo, fetus, and me. I submit to him and his will. A peace sets in when we arrive there. A completeness envelops us. Bliss overpowers us. Nature and Prapanjam take us into their arms, providing for us and our safety. We are in good hands. When Tavayogi told me to hold to Agathiyar and not him, he had handed me in marriage to the divine. I am betrothed to Agathiyar. I am his obedient servant. But recently, he indicated that he does not want us to serve him forever, but wants us to become one, from being Siva Sakthi to becoming Yegan. For that to happen, he wants me to let go of him, so that the individual identities dissolve, and as in osmosis, we merge, becoming one. 

As Agathiyar told me, when the energy arose some time back, that there was nothing further to do and that she would do her work, so what is there further to do, unless he moves us to do a thing? We simply become the Watcher he wants us to be. Regarding the internal changes he tells me to watch, bear the pain and discomfort, comparing it to bliss, too, and when dealing with the outside world, he tells me to laugh it off. Now that we have arrived there, I understand why yogis are either stark naked or clad only in a loincloth, sit under a tree, and hardly talk. Some behave like madmen. And I also understand the downside of these energies, where sexual energy and ego peaks, prompting some to fall from grace.

BEWARE OF GODMEN

A reader from Delhi emailed me many years back asking if Tavayogi could heal him. He had taken up numerous practices and had to bear the pain as a result of energy blockages. Mailing him after 8 years, I was saddened to hear that he was still in pain. None of his masters could help him. 

A friend and devotee working abroad has had bodily pains for some time now as a result of learning certain Yoga techniques from an established spiritual movement back home. He had to leave his job abroad to seek appropriate alternative treatment closer to his home.

A devotee who frequented my home complained about energy surges within. When I asked him to return to his guru, he told me that his guru was roaming the streets and had gone mad.

A seeker went to look up a guru who was visiting Malaysia several years ago. The guru who was sitting on a bench in the park initiated him, placing his palm on the former's belly, which started a swirl and did something within. This seeker, who began his search at the age of 25, had previously been to numerous places and stayed at ashrams, learning and practicing techniques. He told me he had to escape from the last one he stayed in while overseas. Back home, he came under the tutorship of another, but the ties between them turned sour after it appeared that the guru had placed obstacles in his path. It pains me to hear that gurus could do such things. It pains me to see them all in pain. 

Many give initiation by touch in assemblies without taking into consideration the age, illnesses, and medication taken, if any. It frightens me to see these innocent seekers shake and roll and scream and cry during these moments of initiation. Then they all leave, going back to what they do best: the gurus returning to plan and chart another round of initiation, and the seekers returning to their daily chores. The mere attendance and presence of a devotee, after being coaxed to attend by a friend, at one of these assemblies, landed her in trouble.

Many pick up practices, some paying a hefty sum, and begin to teach others, too. When a friend and yoga master asked me why I did not teach others, I told him that the practice Tavayogi gave me was for me to practice and see results. He never told me to teach another. It would be akin to the blind leading the blind, for I would not know the full potential of what was given to me back then. In fact, I am still trying to reckon with this force and trying to figure out, understand, and manage it even now. 

Then many take to social media to share and teach without the element of direct contact. Most recently, a young girl who picked up such a practice from social media scared the wits of her family and me when I was told that she was contemplating suicide. 

If Tavayogi told me a student would be assessed and tested for some 12 years first before they would part with the knowledge, modern-day gurus rush into giving initiations, sharing their knowledge, and giving away practices as if passing on goodies without knowing what they are doing. Then some take to social media, taking on the role of a guru. Be careful out there, be it in establishments or on the net, where we have so much knowledge, practice, advice, and tutorials made available these days. A refresher course could be followed online, but not when you are new to it. Vet through and engage with the genuine ones that your soul will guide you to with the grace and blessings of the divine whom you follow. 

The genuine gurus like Tavayogi, Rengarajah Desigar, and Yogi Ramsuratkumar even hesitate to bless another, much less touch them. Tavayogi cites karma as a reason, while the Yogi did not want to disturb the energy and blessing a seeker had received from Mata Amritanandamayi before coming over. Rengarajah Desigar told me coming to his ashram, Ongkarakudil itself, was a blessing. He sent me away without his blessing, making me confused and angry. I only came to understand later that he must have known that I was fated to meet my very first guru in a couple of days, and respecting that, he gave way to the blessings that were to come my way.

It is indeed sad to see seekers, in genuinely wanting to deepen their spiritual knowledge and practice, fall into these pits and find it difficult to come out of them, some having to bear the cost of living with pain and discomfort for a very long time. Maybe that is the way it was meant to be, and that they needed those bad experiences, too. If the solace is that it might make some stronger, others might leave for good and never return.

I favor Bhagawan Ramana in this case, for he never would pass on a technique or practice but would have seekers carry on with what they were currently doing. Tavayogi, stepping onto our shores, initially lamented that we were still in devotion or Bhakti and would ask to come to Gnanam. Soon, he too let things be as he saw how steeped we were in the former. Agathiyar too asked me to tone down my writing, for otherwise I would scare away the seekers, he said.

MAKING SENSE OF LIFE & DEATH

If Agathiyar, Lord Siva, and Prapanjam herself, and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal and Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar asked us to take up the tool that is lighting the sacred fire, the Yagna, or its smaller version, the Homam, for all our needs and that of the Prapanjam, giving us an escape route to safety, the gurus like Bhagawan Ramana and his disciple Sadhu Om, tell us that all is well and in its place, asking us to come to terms with and accept everything. Then, Shirdi Baba too, for instance, refused to revive a child when his mother pleaded for his life. Later, he tells his followers that the soul had already taken birth elsewhere. He did not want to jeopardise the situation. Both Bhagawan Ramana and Yogi Ramsuratkumar, taking the beating from intruders in his ashram and an angry mob in the streets, respectively, consoled their followers that they had come to do their work and told their followers, "Let us do our work." We simply marvel at these saints.

So what do we do? Do we abstain from getting involved or otherwise? If we do decide to move, execute, and help out, how far do we interfere if everything is God's play or Lila? 

We are told that as individual souls, we have made a truce with fellow soulmates to be together again, to help each other experience new things, as Neale Donald Walsch writes in his series on "Conversations with God". Then we are told that others, too, might desire us to be with them in their new birth, hence bringing us along, as did my daughters, according to Agathiyar. Some souls are bonded for life, not one but numerous, as Agathiyar told a couple of couples we know. Then we are told that our past Karma, desires, wishes, and unfulfilled wants determine or set the course for our lives here in this birth. We come to help each other out, to work things out, to settle scores, to iron out whatever issues we have had, and to mend relationships. Agathiyar surprises us by saying that at times he pushes us into a situation so that we, too, may have those experiences, as in my case. We cannot possibly list out all the reasons for taking birth. 

We now understand Lord Brahma lamenting to Agathiyar, who regularly brings to him case files of his devotees, asking Brahma to intervene and change their fate. Brahma in telling Agathiyar "You are asking me to go easy on these devotees. It would take not less than 10 years to seek out their Nadi or Olai Suvadi and make changes to their fate," implies that he has to sift through our files, not of one birth but crores, as Agathiyar says, to find where we erred and what harm or good we have done to arrive at where we are today. It is such a laborious task for our creator, though he has a task force comprising Chitragupta and a handful of others to assist him. So now we understand why it takes time to see the desired results for certain issues brought to their attention.

What if it is a life and death matter? Do we respond immediately or just watch? Agathiyar himself took to lighting the Yagna with his fellow Siddhas to buy some time for Tavayogi to return to his ashram and settle outstanding issues like passing on to Mataji the running of the ashram and teaching her to read the Jeeva Nadi, which is the only source of income. Lord Siva asked us to conduct a Homam to assist Prapanjam to combat the dreaded COVID-19 virus at the height of its siege. Later, foreseeing a revival, Prapanjam itself asked us to carry it out. Agathiyar came with Bhogar to light the Homam in Lord Muruga's presence in response to my wife's wish to end her ailing mother's suffering. But Lord Siva's hands were tied as he respected her soul's wishes. I have taken up lighting the Homam whenever someone in the family faced health issues. If I used to ask the Siddhas to intervene before, these days I carry out what needs to be done, like lighting the Homam, and leave it to the Siddhas to decide what is best for them. 

When Agathiyar comes, he addresses the souls in us, asking "us", "the ego", and "false identity" to step aside. He speaks to the soul, giving it an option either to live longer (but suffer) or leave (bringing an end to the suffering). The soul decides then. For the soul that wants to stay on, the person is asked to not give up then. Agathiyar then recommends ways to confront and diminish the assault and barrage of troubles. It could be as in asking them to carry out rituals that work subtly, or he might point them to those who might bring some relief and perhaps a cure or a solution. For those who see these troubles as a burden that they can no longer carry, death relieves them of it. 

Many years back, a deity told a staunch devotee that another fellow deity was giving them these sufferings. A Malay shaman or Bomoh tells us the same, that our deity was doing these mischiefs. This and many other episodes made me confused and doubt if God was truly loving, compassionate, and merciful. Lord Siva, coming in a dream, put a stay on all my questions for the next 13 years. Lord Muruga revealed to me some time ago that Agathiyar and Lord Siva, in playing their divine game, had engaged Indra to cause chaos and confusion, conflict and misunderstanding. But despite the confusion, suffering, hurt, and disappointments, it is all for the good, bringing us to understand Maya and its hand in all things. He helped me identify his devotees, too. The Gods themselves have not been spared in this game, as we come to learn from the Puranas, with Narada and Indran doing mischief.

Even Yogi Ramsuratkumar says that, although he is in a state of continuous bliss, he also confronts ups and downs. Similarly, if Adi Sankara says that, “Only through God’s grace may we obtain the three rarest gifts: Human birth; the longing for liberation; and discipleship to an illumined teacher,” and Avvai speaks of human birth as, “Rare indeed is to take a human birth, rarer than that is to be born with a perfect human form, sight, hearing and speech. Amongst them, it is rare to see one who does austerities and charity”, Ramalinga Adigal, I suppose, in one of his lowest points in his life, laments and cries out asking what sin had he done to have taken this body, listing a long list.

The body and the breath are the tools for spiritual advancement. In "Anaivarukkum Uganda Pranayama Payirchigal" by Sri Sri Yogi Shivananda Paramahamsa, published by Viswa Yoga Kendra Trust, 2001, which I had posted in the past, but have only begun to understand better after having these experiences, he writes on birth.

The Causal Prana residing in the sperm of the male and the ovum in the female, respectively, paves the way for the development of an embryo according to its baggage of karma. The subtle Prana then transcends from the crown to the forehead and initiates the first breath in the fetus that was formed in the womb upon delivery. The child then takes in the Prana from the air around us. Thenceforth, it begins to depend on the air around it to survive.

காரண பிராணன் ஆண் பெண்ணின் சுக்கில சுரோணிதத்தில் இருந்து கொண்டு கர்ப்பத்தில் ஜீவனின் கர்ம வினைக்கேற்ப கருவின் வளர்ச்சிக்கு வழி காட்டுகிறது. கர்ப்பத்தில் உருப்பெற்று குழந்தையாக வெளிவரும் ஜீவனின் உடலில் தலையின் உச்சியிலிருந்து நெற்றி வரை சூட்சம பிராணன் சஞ்சரித்து கொண்டு சுவாச இயக்கத்தை தூண்டுகிறது. சூட்சம பிராணனின் துண்டு தலினால் நமது உடல் சுவாசிப்பதன் மூலம் புற உலக காற்றில் கலந்திருக்கும் ஸ்தூல பிராணன் கிரகிப்பதன் மூலம் உயிர் வாழ்க்கையை நடத்துகிறது. 

Agathiyar tells us that the pindam or embryo is made in her mother's womb, taking one element each from both parents. This grows into a fetus and a child. Life is given to an otherwise motionless matter through the breath. This breath determines our life span, hence the reason the Siddhas and Yogis pay special attention to it. 

Shivananda Paramahamsa writes further that the chakras in the causal body that are subtle access the Prana from the Pranamaya Kosa and deliver it through their massive network of 72,000 Nadis to the physical body. It is akin to the transformers in the substations delivering electricity coming from the main transformers through electric lines to light up our homes. When the chakra's efficiency is disrupted, the physical body and its components are affected too.  

புரக் கண்களுக்குப் புலப்படாத காரண சூட்சும உடலைச் சார்ந்த சக்கரங்கள் ஸ்தூல உடலின் முக்கிய நரம்பு மையங்களோடு நாளமில்லாச் சுரப்பிகளோடும் உறுப்புகளோடும் தொடர்பு கொண்டுள்ளது. இயற்க்கையோடு நேரடி யாகத் தொடர்புடைய இச்சக்கரங்களின் வழியாகவே ஜீவ சக்தியான பிராணன் பிராணமய கோசத்தில் அமைந்துள்ள 72000 நாடிகளின் வழியாகப் புற உடலின் அணைத்து பாகத்திற்கும் அனுப்ப படுகிறது. சக்கரங்களின் இயக்கத்தில் பாதிப்பு உண்டாகும்போது அவைகள் தொடர்புடைய நாடிகளும் சுரப்பிகளும் உறுப்புகளும் பாதிக்கப் படுகிறது.

He writes further,

Generally, in man, the Ida and Pingala work in tandem. Shushumna is dormant. Through the advanced stages of Pranayama, the Shushumna gives way and opens. Kundalini arises from the Muladhara and makes its way to Sahasrara. He then transcends the Physical, Subtle, and Causal bodies and comes to know his Atma. Prana that shadows the Atma works in all three bodies. 

மனித வாழ்க்கையில் ஒவொருவருக்கும் இடா பிங்களா நாடி மட்டும் செயல்பட்டு கொண்டிருக்கும். சுஷும்னா நாடி செயலாற்றிக்கும். பிராணாயாமத்தின் முதிர் நிலை பயிற்சிகளை பயின்று வருவோருக்கு சுஷும்னா நாடி வழி திறக்கப்பட்டு மூலாதார சக்கரத்தில் இருந்து குண்டலினி சக்தியை மேலெழுப்பி சஹஸ்ரார சக்கரதிற்கு கொண்டு போகும் போது யோக சாதகன் தான் ஸ்தூல, சூக்ஷ்ம, காரண சரீரத்தை கடந்து ஆன்மா என்பதை அறிகிறான். பிராணன் ஸ்தூல, சூக்ஷ்ம, காரண என மூன்று நிலைகளில் செயல்படுகிறது. ஆத்மவின் நிழல்போல அமைந்துள்ள. 

As a means of thanksgiving, the Siddhas devised temples for each element that sustains us, bringing the goodness of Prapanjam within the reach of all. While many venture into the jungles and hills to connect with her, the saints connect with her from where they are, bringing changes and good in subtle ways, without any confrontation or without others' knowledge. Indeed, we need this body and air to survive. Let us not ignore this fact. 

LOOKING UP & LOOKING WITHIN

I used to look towards the skies, look at the moon if it was visible, and peer into the night sky trying to locate stars. I would stand outside my home and take in the breeze that invigorates and replenishes both body and soul. But sadly, looking around, I do not see anyone else gazing at the skies or outdoors. They are all indoors. I realize that it needs an extraordinary phenomenon like last night's lunar eclipse to take place to have people actually look at the moon. It made me realize how we have taken nature and life for granted. So too Agathiyar told me that it looks like he has to do miracles or Siddhis to get people to adopt the ways of the Siddhas. But Agathiyar does not expect us to live as he did in his days of roaming. Both Agathiyar and Tavayogi tell me that I have not even been through a fraction of what they went through to attain their state. Agathiyar has simplified the way and its means for us living in the present times. In a Nadi reading many years back, giving me practices, he pointed out that he was only giving those that they did and which worked out for them. At times, he tells me, seeing the condition of my body, to only do some workouts that Tavayogi gave and not the full set. Yet many stay away. I guess the path has been made to look difficult by its pioneers and followers before us vomiting the same throughout the ages, years, and decades. 

Agathiyar, in coming to us in February of 2024, over two consecutive days, sitting around a table having lunch with my family, shared his deepest feelings, concerns, and fears with us. He parted with us, much Gnanam too, enlightening us for the better.

Siddha Heartbeat: AVM

Siddha Heartbeat: A THANK YOU NOTE

Siddha Heartbeat: MORE LESSONS

Siddha Heartbeat: THE REBIRTH OF AGATHIYAR VANAM MALAYSIA

Siddha Heartbeat: A SURPRISE SUGGESTION

Siddha Heartbeat: REASONING OUT

Siddha Heartbeat: SOME RADICAL MOVES

Siddha Heartbeat: A NEW JOURNEY STARTS

Siddha Heartbeat: FREED AT LAST

Siddha Heartbeat: LESSONS ON DEVOTION, THE DISCIPLE, THE FAMILY & THE GURU

Siddha Heartbeat: A LESSON ON PUJA

Siddha Heartbeat: A LESSON IN UDAL, UYIR & ATMA

Siddha Heartbeat: A LESSON IN DHARMA OR ARAM

Such is their love towards humanity and to see man achieve what they did and attained. Velayutham Karthikeyan Aiya, who was the admin and author behind the blog "Siththan Arul", reveals this in his blog. Karthikeyan Aiya’s blog entry brings us back to time immemorial when the Siddhas, being compassionate and kind, put forward to God or Erai as Agathiyar wishes to address, their wishes for humanity. The Siddhas had wished that whoever seeks them out for solutions to their problems and surrenders to them, shall be pardoned for their past deeds, however bad and evil they may be, and shall not be put through the trial and tribulations and made to face the consequences, but instead be saved. Agathiyar humbly requests that Brahma change the karma of all those who came seeking him (Agathiyar), as he had given his word to them. As Agathiyar did not give up on his devotees and insisted that Lord Brahma change their fate, it is written that Brahma asked him, 

"You are asking me to go easy on too many devotees. It would take not less than 10 years to seek out their Nadi or Olai Suvadi and make changes to their fate."

Though I had read and shared this many years ago, in reposting this today, I have the answer as to why many things said by Agathiyar for devotees have not been answered. My wife and I had discussed this. I had voiced out my sadness, fearing that those who came to him for solutions might think that he lied or simply said things to please them, when she asked me back, like Agathiyar and Tavayogi usually do, "Did he mention when it shall take place?" She was right. Indeed, never did Agathiyar give the exact date of their wishes materializing. With us, although Agathiyar appears immediately upon hearing our cries and calls, he is always straightforward and tells us whether what we wish for is possible or otherwise. For instance, he came with Lord Muruga and Bhogar to conduct a Homam in the home of her ailing mother. After consultation with Lord Siva, he tells my wife he cannot grant her wish for reasons only known to the divine, but would be overlooking her state continuously. She is in her eighties. Similarly, he told me the same about my sister's state many years back. She is in her seventies now, but she is a happy child. So too in some cases, Agathiyar buys time by asking seekers to come later for a Nadi reading. Obviously, he needs time to look through the Akashic records, sifting through not one but thousands of our births. And we tend to blame Agathiyar for not responding and helping out. It is sad that nobody truly understands Agathiyar. 

THE BOAT RIDE

In moving away from the material world into the religious and spiritual world, we tend to bring the former traits along with us instead of leaving them behind or exhausting them. We tend to run a movement, an organization, a temple management, or a political party, for that matter, following tradition closely. If a former guru got his followers to tie up a cat that was bothering the ritual taking place, that very act is carried out in the years to come without enquiring why it was done in the very first place. I am glad  I did not fall for the numerous traps on the spiritual path that called for loyalty. Tavayogi taught me well. I am glad  I did not fall for the numerous traps on the spiritual path that unknowingly strengthen the ego or desires. Agathiyar taught me well, as well. I realize that not many can commit to a task, whether it be a ritual practice, yoga practice, or study. It is short-lived. They give in to the pressures of the numerous other tasks on hand and sideline what would pave the way for them to move up the ladder and share with others, as Agathiyar has told me to. We surrender and give up. What we should do instead is surrender unto the divine and give up whatever is holding us back. 

If Jnana Jothiamma told me she vomited as many as 32 times a day, I have been spared the intense pain and agony. If phlegm came to the forefront the moment I hit the sack back then, these days the phlegm that is slimy is expelled throughout the day and night. Figuratively speaking, tons of it are expelled. I am kept awake, spitting out phlegm. Stools are gritty and stink. Body aches come and go and traverse the whole body, at times remaining longer than usual at a particular spot. Limbs go numb at times. Sexual urges surge at times. An obvious renewal has taken place, where my hair has turned black again. One has to face and manage all these when we arrive at the place where internal transformation is taking place. 

I can no longer conform to the rule of thumb, as nothing interests me anymore. I seem to have become an outlaw. Many have asked when I am going to India, as Malaysians are exempt from paying for the Visa now. As they say, the dust has settled, everything has settled down, and I have no desire to do so. I make no plans anymore, either. Agathiyar drives me around to do things if required of me. I am happy, satisfied, and contented. I spend time with my grandchildren either in the field, or park, or in the toy shops buying them toys, or at the malls to chill out, buying them food. I live for the day. I am unattached. I have no property except for my home, a roof over my head, and a car, wheels to travel, both necessities. I have no friends or relatives coming around except for one or two who still remember me. 

Do not look down on yourself. You are special. You are here to receive your award - Mukti or liberation. Mukti is of four kinds, I was told when I had a chat with Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar of Kallar Ashram a couple of days ago. I could then relate this to all that I had read earlier. I understood that we all shall attain Mukti and that it is not a privilege offered to only some, but, on the contrary, the birthright of each individual. What varies is the form of Mukti. For one who comes to the path, though we haven't attained the status of a Siddha, we are allowed into their home and grounds to run around. This is similar to living in the world of Siva or Salogam. This is akin to a child living in the world of adults. When we come of "age", we take up upon ourselves to clean the home, pick up the toys lying around, play with them, analyze them, and learn a thing or two during play, as in Sariyai. We are then given the responsibility to carry out the rituals that the Siddhas did. We pick up the method and the practice of carrying out Kriyas. We become curious to know more and hungry for details and information regarding these practices. The hidden wealth that comes through these practices is now passed on to us. We rub shoulders with them, bringing us to Sameebam. We are then led into Yogam, and taught the Asana or physical postures, and the practice of Praṇayama or nurturing the Prana (breath) within us, which brings on an internal transformation in us. We turn into young adults, taking charge of our lives and shaping our bodies and minds. We take the form of Siva or Saarupam. As age catches up with us and after settling our responsibilities, we then settle down in  Pratyahara, or the withdrawal of the senses. We go within to unearth the hidden treasures and gifts - Quietitude, Contentment, and Peace - that are to be treasured more than the earlier gifts that were laid before us for the taking. We dissipate the knowledge and experience, learned and earned, to others so that "consciousness may dissolve in the light of the soul of every being." It is only after reaching the state of satisfaction and completeness, where we do not seek anything further, that we can serve others fully. We are tasked by the Siddhas to do their work, carry out their mission, and bring others to the fold. Still, we are not Siddhas as yet but only their emissaries. We have only arrived at the door to the merger or union or betrothal or the Final Summation that is Saayutcham. The door opens up to the ocean, where Lord Siva awaits to ferry us across to his land of paradise, as he did Tavayogi. Supramania Swami had to close up the window to this land and mountain beyond the ocean, as it was fiery, and his eyes could not look at it anymore. 

MAKING OF A BLOCKBUSTER

As I am watching the movie "Songs of Paradise", moments into its opening, the young Zeba Akhtar sings, asking if her beloved would accept her despite her imperfections, and adds that "My glass cracked and my vessel lost its tune," likewise Agathiyar accepted me with all my imperfections, flaws, weaknesses, and cracks. Agathiyar is trying to string this instrument and tune me up so that he can play a beautiful tune. I am but only a musical instrument in his hands for him to tune, use, and play his song. Just as her guru pushed her to perform publicly in a male-oriented society back then in Kashmir, Tavayogi pushed me to the forefront to speak, while Agathiyar in not wanting to attract attention to me, is pushing me to write. I shall submit to his wishes as I am a pawn in his hands. I know that whatever he does is for the greater good, as he did mention in the past about the reason to light the Homam was for the good of the Prapanjam and Lord Siva, pointing out the same, telling us that it shall heal her wounds at the height of the pandemic. I guess the reason we are put here, besides granting us our desires and to exhaust our past karma, is to do some good for others' well-being and the world at large. Generally, we take on a task thinking that it is our purpose. Agathiyar says that we shall come to know our true purpose when we travel within and transcend the chakras, and finally arrive at the Sahasrara. 

இதுநாள் வரையில் நீ கடந்து வந்தது இவ்வுலக வாழ்க்கையின் பயணம். இனி நீ கடக்க போவது உமது உல் பயணம். ஆதாவது நீ பிறந்ததன் நோக்கம் அறிவாய். உமது மூச்சி உனது சுழுமுனை தொட்டு உமது ஏழு சக்கரங்களில் பயணம் செய்யும் கால் ஏழாவது சக்கரம் தொடும் நிலையில் நீ உனது பிறவிக்கான பலனை அறிவாய். உனது நிலையை நீ தொடும்போது அக்கணம் உன்னை அறியாமல் உன்னை நோக்கி ஒரு  சக்தி உன்னுள் இறங்கும் - அதுவே சுழிமுனை. நீங்கள் உள் பயணிக்கும்போது எல்லாம் தெளிவாகத் தெரியும் சமயம் திரை விலகியத்திற்கு அர்த்தம். அதுதான் ஞானம். 

What would mine be, I wonder?

Life itself is a story that is written in real time, or is it? One wonders at times if we are just fulfilling the roles of a movie already scripted by some divine hand. We can relate life to a movie that is orchestrated by the divine. We might as actors suggest some changes, but the decision lies with the directors. Then there is the producer who keeps tabs on the progress of the movie, for he has invested heavily in it. So will the telling of our life story be a blockbuster? Does our life have all the elements of a blockbuster? Who would come to watch it, or in this case, read? I guess man looks for answers and solutions in books, movies, and places. Hence, the reason for a following, be it a blog, a director who delivers a message, or a pilgrimage. All that we read, watch and listen, will not make any sense until we relive it; otherwise, it would just remain mere words. 

Two individuals raised in different backgrounds coming together to live under the same roof is a challenge. Then there is the extended family to handle too. Marriages give us the experience to deal with our emotions, either to be patient and calm or otherwise, walk through all struggles or crumble, and many more. Then the experiences gained elsewhere add some spice to life. Watching the movie "Thalaivan Thalaivi" makes us ask what keeps a marriage alive and intact. The Siddhas have predicted that marriages shall crumble. Looking around, it does seem so. Agathiyar, a year ago, asked my children to carry out our 60th wedding, though I was already 65 then. He came to carry out our wedding too, telling me and my wife that it would set an example as to how each couple should honor the other and live together amongst all differences. If there is one thread or element that is positive in both the couple, work on it to strengthen it so that it shall overshadow the other and other's weaknesses. 

WHEN THE DIVINE VISITS US

Thank you, readers, for a grand following. The past week saw this blog reach 65,100 viewers.

Once Agathiyar told me to check out the viewership for a video I uploaded on my YouTube channel, for it had garnered a high number of views, he said. Agathiyar seems to keep a tab of all our conversations, checking if we carry out our practices diligently, and now also these statistics. He is fun to have around. If initially, he came as words in the Nadi, post-pandemic, he began to come through devotees as the Nadi readers made their way home to India. If initially he stayed only for brief moments, telling us he had to leave for Kailash or Pothigai, soon he spent more time dispensing and teaching us, revealing further understanding, and occasionally dropping a secret or two. Then he came for two consecutive days and spent hours sharing his feelings and his expectations of his devotees. It was all amazing and unbelievable. 

Suren asked me, as we sat at a park after our meal, a couple of days back, if I saw Agathiyar the same as I did when I came to him as a freshman. I replied and explained how Agathiyar has grown out of the outfit that we gave him, or rather, how I have dropped placing limitations about his existence, form, and dropped seeing him the way many still see him. During one of the many Jeeva Nadi readings at a temple where Agathiyar would instruct the late Hanumathdasan Aiya beforehand to visit and read the Nadi, Agathiyar refuted the figurine of his image in cement above the door to his temple, saying that he was wrongly portrayed. This story was shared in Velayudham Karthikeyan Aiya's blog "Siththan Arul".

We tend to capture a moment in the lives of Siddhas and deities and worship these images for the rest of our existence. Besides that, we pass it on to the generations just as our forefathers did. Episodes in the lives of, for instance, Karupanasamy, considered a village deity, have been captured as forms and images and imprinted in us too. He has a devotee through whom he regularly appears, narrates his story, and clears up the confusion surrounding his myth once and for all. He was Kusa, the son of Sri Rama. He came south for a purpose and, upon its accomplishment, returned to being his true self, but we have retained the form he took to battle the Asuras and Evil. I guess this is what happened with all the other deities, too, who literally took up many "arms," as in limbs and weapons in battle against the dark forces. I guess this is the reason Agathiyar told me that we have not truly and wholly understood the Puranas.

I am glad that Tavayogi pointed me to the source rather than have me worship him, the very first day he took up my invitation and stepped into my home. He pointed out that I was living in Maya, both in illusion and in a delusion, and that he was a nobody. Instead, he asked that I worship Agathiyar. If many still argue about his existence and time, and his physical form, with some saying he was a dwarf, a midget, or a pygmy, as commonly believed, Tavayogi had a fiber statue of him made and placed at his Kallar ashram, stating that he was a six-footer. He should know, for Agathiyar had come to him, dropping in on him regularly. There were moments when Agathiyar came to him as Light as when he appeared in the hills behind his ashram. Tavayogi had a granite statue installed at this spot that my family and I had the privilege to pray to on our visit in 2013. But the first time he came to him was when he was a young adult. He came as a voice that stopped him from jumping onto the railway tracks in disappointment that he had not regained his eyesight after a year of going blind suddenly. Tavayogi told me that he had lived in the times of Agathiyar and had disobeyed him by testing a mantra given, on a horse that burnt it to ash, hence offending him. Hence, he paid a big price, losing his eyesight back then. The remnants of his action were carried into this birth to be exhausted, he added. 

Agathiyar came to us too, surprisingly as a lady in all the temples where we stopped by when several others and I from the AVM family traveled to Kallar to participate in the inauguration of the new temple complex in 2016. When Balachandran sought blessings from Karupanasamy, who came through a devotee regularly, the latter told him to look out for Agathiyar at the very first temple we stepped into. We had planned to pay our respects to Lord Ganesa, Uchi Pilaiyar, at the Rock Fort temple upon arriving at Trichy airport. But as the mid-morning weather was extremely hot, our chauffeur suggested that we visit Sri Rangam first and come to Rock Fort in the evening when the sun is down. This change happened for a reason, for we recognised Agathiyar who stood in the temple corridors waiting for us. He was a lady in a green-blue hue saree. Balachandran handed the cash contribution and donation that Karupanasamy had asked to collect back in Malaysia to be given to Agathiyar. Soon after that, we spotted him as a lady dressed in the same peacock-hued saree in every temple we went to, including  Palamuthircolai. He, or rather she, took a ride on the coracle or parisal across the river Kaveri with us as we returned to the bank of the river after praying at Nattadreeswarar Temple. Returning home, Karupanasamy asked Balachandran if we had the Darshan of Agathiyar, and understanding our surprise in seeing him come as a lady, asked, "What you think Agathiyar was a male?" "He is a female," he replied.

After my initial attempt at trying to at least place his statue, at any temple, instead of building one as Agathiyar had asked me in my very first Nadi reading, in 2002, failed as I did not get the approval of its committee, so I left it as it is. When in 2018, Lord Muruga came in the Nadi asking for one too, saying he would get me the land, money, and gather people around to help me, reading my mind, he told me that though he had numerous temples to his credit, I would do it differently. I wondered how differently could we portray Lord Muruga, who had taken abode in six forms in his six homes, Aaru Padai Veedu?

Agathiyar, whom, as a kid, I saw portrayed short in height in movies and paintings, later appeared the same in all the temples I visited. But when he began to show himself to his devotees, he seemed to be ceiling height. An Australian lady of Chinese origin who attended a seminar in Malaysia was brought to AVM by a devotee who was an e-hailing driver after they began to chat about the Siddhas on their way to the airport. She came out of my puja room in tears, telling me that he had given her this Darshan. Jnana Jothiamma, who was born in Kerala, studied in Chennai and migrated to the USA, visited us in 2013 and again in 2014. Agathiyar and the other Siddhas appeared to be coming and going when she insisted on sleeping on the sofa in my living room. Similarly, when a veterinarian, Dr Nanjan from Ooty, visited the home of a couple who worshipped Agathiyar, in India, and was invited to enter the prayer room, upon opening the door, he witnessed Agathiyar get up immediately from the Anantasayana position, similar to how Lord Vishnu lies down, ties his hair into a loc, and disappears. The doctor shared with me this story when he accompanied Tavayogi to Malaysia.  I was told another story, that of the mother of a devotee of Agathiyar, who was usually alone by herself as her son worked long hours in a hotel. Agathiyar seems to keep her company during these moments. She used to tell her son that Agathiyar would massage her aching feet. When she had a fall in their home, as she called out for Agathiyar, he appeared, questioning her why she was not more careful, lifted her up, and brought her a few steps to his painting hanging in the hall before disappearing into it. 

Lobama, too, is known to have come to Tavayogi's old ashram. Claiming to have taken a bus ride from a town in Andhra, she spent hours chatting with him, posed for the camera before a bunting of Agathiyar, before leaving, walking, and disappearing into the woods behind the ashram. 

Agathiyar told me that just as we sit around and talk about them, they, too, sitting around the campfire I guess, speak about us. If we go on pilgrimages to their temples and abodes, visiting them, they too tend to visit us in return. Their world is truly amazing and mind-boggling. I understand now why Agathiyar, in coming to receive his child Acharya Gurudasan, whom we lovingly address as Master Gowri, at AVM several days back, told me that there is much to see and hear further. We never tire of witnessing their lilas or play.

Holding our parents' hands, in walking the phase of Sariyai, we are brought to see Agathiyar in the statues and images, paintings, and pictures based on visions that others have handed over to us. Holding the hands of our guru, and walking the phase of Kriyai, we get to bring them from their realm into our homes and hearts and serve them closer to our homes and hearts. Learning Yoga from our gurus and traveling within, now we get to see and feel Agathiyar as an energy and vibration that is beyond form and description. Traveling the chakras and reaching Sahasrara, we begin to connect with Agathiyar in and as the Prapanjam. Both guru and student evolve in this magnificent journey. Both parties gain from this pact and alliance. 

The divine that is believed to be out of reach of us, in the skies and out of sight, and that is later brought into the corridors and shrines and statues in temples, and soon brought into individual homes, was all along residing in the caves in our hearts. Once our hearts open up to reveal him, we begin to see him in everything. But to arrive there is pretty difficult because of our upbringing, teachings, and what society has rubbed on us. No wonder those who saw through this game could never remain in society. They shun society and stay away, apart and afar from people, doing their magic and bringing changes in subtle ways rather than through conflict and confrontations. They never choose to step into the limelight. Agathiyar wants me to do the same, telling me he would not expose me to the world. People will only know me through his writings on this blog. Agathiyar, who came to me as the words in the Nadi, then came as the songs of praise to Siddhas, as a painting, and later as a bronze statue in the image of his granite replica at Agasthiyampalli, comes as words in these blog posts. If we are often told the hierarchy goes as follows: Matha, Pitha, Guru, and eventually Deivam, here it is the reverse. From seeing him as god and guru, and mentor, he became a father, mother, and then turned into a companion and buddy. He became a child coming as Balambigai. He came as the Prana. He came as the Prapanjam. Today, he asked that I let him go too. He asked that I see him as one with me. We need to lose our individuality, he says, for we then shall become one, Yegan. 

I am glad I did not take up the offer to build them a temple, for when someone walks up to me and asks if either Lord Muruga or Agathiyar looks like what I portray in the image that is installed in their temple, what could I say? If I say yes, I would lock their image and tag them, not providing an avenue for the divine to take any other form or even stay and remain formless. I would be carrying with me and professing something that I know will not hold water forever. Though Tavayogi installed Agathiyar's statue, he also built a six-tier Athara peedham with an oil lamp at its summit, a structure to denote and map the journey through the chakras, a path that shall earn us Gnanam and attain light eventually.

TRAVELING THE ENERGY WAY - The Breath

Agathiyar, who had encouraged me to write all these years, said that he came through my thoughts and made me write about the Siddha Marga or path, which, by spreading it, helped others to reach out to it. Agathiyar acknowledged that many have gained his grace. He was proud that I did it without a whisper. 

தக்கதொரு எழுதிடுவாய் சித்த மார்க்கம் பற்றி. எழுத வைப்போம் சிந்தையிலே கலந்து நாங்கள். கருணையுடன் கருத்துகளை உலகிற்குப் பரப்பிக் கருணையான நிலை தன்னை பலர் அடையச் செய்தாய். உண்மையான மார்க்கத்தை உலகிற்கு ஓதி உயர் நிலையைப் பலர் அடைய வைத்தவன் நீ. அருள் நிலைகள் பெற்றிருக்கின்றார் பல மாந்தரும். மாற்றங்கள் பலர் அடையக் காரணமாய் இருந்தாய். இந்தத் தேசத்தில் சத்தமின்றி அகத்தியரைப் பலருக்கு நீ காட்டினாய் அப்பா. உன் தொண்டை மெச்சுகின்றேன்.

If Tavayogi officially led me into Pranayama and Asanas in 2007, something I picked up in my bachelor days from books, which was brought to a halt, including all the reading and discussion after Lord Siva came in a dream in 1988, and Agathiyar and Patanjali guided me further through the Nadi readings, Ramalinga Adigal came through a devotee to help me enhance the Jothi in me, asking me to travel with the breath. 

"Follow the Pranavam in you. Try. Let the Jothi burn brightly within you. You shall merge into it. I shall come along with you as long as the Jothi is in you. I shall be with those who are aware of it." 

உமது பிரணவத்தை கொண்டு செல்லு. முயற்சி செய். ஜோதி அதனைச் சுடர்விட செய்யுங்கள். ஜோதியோடு கலப்பாய். உன்னுள் ஜோதி எரியும்வரை நான் உன்னோடு வருவேன். ஆழ்ந்து இருப்போருடன் நான் சேர்ந்து இருக்கிறேன்.

It then made some sense to me as to what Agathiyar had implied earlier. 

"You have received my Jothi (Light). You have changes going on in you. The internal Light has expanded, bringing on these changes and opening the Suzhimunai (சுழுமுனை)." 

நீ உலகில் என் ஜோதியைப் பெற்று விட்டாய். தேகத்தில் மாற்றங்கள் பெற்று இருக்காய். அகத்துக்குள் அகத்தின் ஜோதி பெருகி தேகத்தில் பல மாற்றம் பல சக்தி கிட்டி முனை திறந்து இருப்பாயே. 

Coming on 22.8.2020, Ramalinga Adigal tells me, "Use your breath to fan the Jothi. It shall travel through Sushumna and touch Ajna. Then the Jothi is seen. Carry out Nadi Sudhi to raise the Prana. Now it does not move in both nostrils. When it travels in both nostrils, you shall then rest in completeness or Sudha Paripuranam. Dhyana will be yours then. You are one with the Prana. Pay attention to it."

பிரணவத்தை கொண்டு ஜோதியை சுடர் விடச்செய். சுஷும்னா வழி சென்று ஆக்கினை தொடும். பின்னர் ஜோதி தெரியும். நாடி சுத்தி செய்து பிரணவத்தை உயர்த்தவும். இப்போது இரு நாசியில் செல்ல வில்லை. இரு நாசியில் செல்லும் கால் பிரணவம் இடகலை பிங்கலையில் சீராகச் செல்லும் தருணம் சுத்த பரிபூரணத்தில் நீ ஆழ்ந்து இருப்பாய். தியானம் என்பது உனது பரிபூரணம் ஆகும். உனது பிராணவத்தில் கலந்திருக்கிறாய். பிரணவத்தில் கவனம் செலுத்து. 

Lord Muruga, in coming later, says that the only practice that brings us to the state of Gnanam is observing the breath, and he added that it does not come easily.

ஞானத்திற்கான பயிற்சி சுவாசத்தைக் கவனிப்பது மட்டுமே. சுவாசத்தைக் கவனிப்பது அவ்வளவு எளிதல்ல மகனே.

The breath was the means and the end. Just as we started this journey on the face of this earth with our first breath, this internal journey, too, which started with Pranayama or breath control, shall bring us to Gnanam. Lord Muruga equates the breath to Gnanam. The breath registers all experiences. It is the breath that brings on the thoughts. Breath is both the beginning and the end.

ஞானம் என்பது உமது சுவாசம். உனது அனுபவங்கள் பதிவதும் உனது சுவாசம். எண்ணங்களைத் தூண்டுவதும் உனது சுவாசம். ஆதியில் சுவாசம் இறுதியும் சுவாசம். 

TRAVELING THE ENERGY WAY - My Gurus

If an external pilgrimage to temples and sacred sites brings us awe and reinforces our faith and belief, internal travel does the same. Having these experiences, we come to have a better understanding of what was told to us or what we had read earlier. Whatever I read and shared in my earlier posts is clear now and makes sense. I have a better understanding now as I travelled the path and experienced them. 

In "Secret of the Siddhas", a Siddha Yoga Publication, 1980, Swami Muktananda writes, 

"Forgetfulness of one’s true nature is the moss of ignorance that muddies the experience of the self. The Guru is the means of removing it. The grace of a Siddha simply removes the veil of ignorance so that one realizes that one is already perfect. For this reason, all scriptures and Sadhana are simply means of washing away the filth of ignorance. They have no ability of their own to reveal the wisdom of the self because that principle is self-existent, perfect, and always manifest.”

This is what Agathiyar meant when he said that Gnanam was not gifted. With our initial efforts, practice and discipline, and from the experience gained, it shall dawn on us as we travel each chakra within us. Indeed, the grace of the Siddha removes the veil of ignorance, bringing us to realize that we are already perfect. Everything else is a tool to arrive at this realization.

I was overjoyed when Ramalinga Adigal sang us a song and told us, 

திரை விலக உங்களில் இருக்கும் ஜோதி அதனைச் சுடர்விட செய்யுங்கள். என் அப்பன் அகத்தியன் உங்களுக்குள் வந்து அத்திரையை விலக்கிவிடுவார். அதுவே இப்பாடலின் பொருள். என் அப்பன் அகத்தியன் உங்களுக்குள் இருந்து வழி நடத்தி வருகிறார். அவன் வழியிலே நடந்து வாருங்கள். அத்திரை விலக்குவதற்க்கு அவன் அருள் புரிவான். அருட்ஜோதி உங்களை ஆசீர்வதித்தது. அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி ஆண்டவர் உங்களை ஆசீர்வதித்தார். செல்லும் வழி சரி. அகத்தியன் அருட்ஜோதியை நோக்கி அழைத்துச் செல்வான். 

"Our Father Agathiyan will come within you to draw the curtain aside. That is the meaning of the song. My Father Agathiyar is in all of you bidding his will. Follow in his path. He shall assist you in dropping the veil. Arutjhothi blesses you. Arutjothi Aandavar blesses you. You are on the right track. Agathiyan shall lead you to Arutjhothi." 

Ramalinga Adigal asks that we continue to take the Holy Feet of Agathiyar, whom he addresses as "Appan Agathiyan", as Satguru, and that he would help remove the veil of ignorance in us and show us to Arutperunjhoti. His holy feet shall be salvation for you. He is all. Go deeper. He shall take care. He shall bring you to the light", he added. "Agathiyar shall set aside the veil that hides Arutperunjhoti from you", he promised. "Since you came to Agathiyar and his path, he will be the guiding light", he says. He asks that if we continue on his path, Agathiyar shall lead us to Arutperunjhoti. Agathiyar shall remain a guiding light for you, then, now, and forever." 

He asked us to kindle the flame within to burn with such intensity that it shall draw aside the veil or curtain that stands between us and God. There is a need to shed the veil or curtain. The means is to light the Jothi or light or flame in us. 

Similarly, one cannot deny the love and compassion of Ramalinga Adigal, too. TR Thulasiram wrote in his booklet "தெய்வீக மனித புது இன சிருஷ்டிக்கு அருட்பிரகாசரும் ஸ்ரீ அரவிந்தரும் அன்னையும்" that Ramalinga Adigal very much wanted others to realize his experience and state. He went further to bring the Jothi within these people and have him rule over them.

"தம்மை பொறுத்த மட்டில் அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி அனுபவத்தை பூரணமாக தம் ஆதாரத்தின் முழுவதிலும் மேலும் கீழும் உள்ளும் புறமும் சுற்றும் சூழ்வும் மனோபிராண இந்திரியங்கள் உள்பட உடலிலும் நிறைந்து விளங்கும் பேற்றை வள்ளல் பெருமான் பெற்ற இருந்தார். என்றாலும் ஜோதியை உலகிற்கு கொண்டு வரவும் இங்கு நில உலகில் நிலை நிறுத்தவும் கூட்டாக எல்லா மக்களிடை உள்ளும் புறமும் விளங்கி நேரடியான அரசாட்சி செய்யவும் வேண்டி அவர் எல்லா வழிகளிலும் முயன்று ஈடுபட்டு தவங் கிடந்தார்."

This is not a statement made in a book that we read, but became a reality in our lives too, when it took place whenever Ramalinga Adigal came. We saw his joy in seeing us gathered and began hugging us. He truly wants us to achieve his state too. 

Swami Muktananda in "Secret of the Siddhas" says further that, 

“Without the Guru’s company, it is difficult to contemplate the self. Without the Guru’s teaching, there is no discipline in one’s life. Without the Guru’s blessing, there is no love. Without the Guru’s knowledge, there is no end to desire, the intellect does not receive the light of wisdom, and the delusion and pain created by duality are not eradicated, nor are doubts dispelled."

If my gurus in physical form laid the foundation and threw in their merits for my quick progress, Agathiyar finally came to drive the nail in that we were one. Since I carried no desires, wishes, or wants, and after tempting me to take up offers and gifts, which I refused, he had me let go of what remained of my position, authority, recognition, and fame; he finally asked that I let go of him, too, for how else can we become one, he asked. If Tavayogi from day one reminded us not to overstay in the phase called Bakti and Sariyai, but to move on to another phase, that of Gnanam, Agathiyar, having given me those experiences, eventually brought me out of Dvaita into Advaita.

Swami Muktananda explains why one needs a master in his book "Kundalini - The Secret of Life", Siddha Yoga Publication, 1994. 

“The Guru has found everything you are seeking; that which you want has become the Guru’s wealth. The difference between you and the Guru is that you are the seed and the Guru is the full-grown tree; you are the beginning, and he is the end. If he tries to discover a path by himself, he will simply go around in circles, walking for a long time but never reaching his goal.”

Indeed, the guru who has been there can show us the path and the way and save us from wasting time going in circles. Agathiyar told me that if I went in search of Supramania Swami, he sent Tavayogi over to me. Just before I left for the airport to take my maiden flight to India in 2003, my wife came out of the blue, asking me to chart my second daughter's horoscope while in India. After my last leg of my pilgrimage, having circumbulated the Holy Hill Arunachala, mentioning my wife's wish to Devaindran, my chauffeur, brought me to his uncle, Supramania Swami, just some 8 kilometers away. If that is not enough to convince us of this miracle, Devaindran was not scheduled to pick me up at Chennai airport, but as Rajji, who was tasked, mysteriously fell "ill," Devaindran came by. 

Ramalinga Adigal, too, speaks of my gurus with high regard.

"Supramania Swami was the guru who led you to the path of worship of the guru. He taught you guru bakti or devotion to the guru. You received the merits from his tapas." 

சுப்ரமணியன் உனக்கு வழிநடுத்திய குரு. குருவைத் தொடர்ந்திருக்கும் ஒரு சீடன் அக்குருவை எவ்வாறு நடத்த வேண்டும் என்று கல்வியை சுப்ரமணியன் உனக்குப் போதித்தான். அவன் தவ வலிமையை நீ பெற்றாய். 

"Tavayogi, too, in his light form, is trying to bring salvation to you. He is traveling with you. You traveled in his way and followed his teachings. You spread his fame and helped him attain the state of Jothi. He who is currently with you shall continue to travel with you." 

தவயோகி ஆத்ம ஜோதியாய் உங்களை கரை தேர்த இன்னமும் முயற்சிக்கிறான். உங்களோடே பயணிக்கிறான். அவன் வழி நடந்து முழுமையாக கடைபிடித்து வரும் ஒரு சீடன் நீ. அவன் புகழை பரப்பிய உன் தவ வலிமையால் அவன் ஜோதி நிலை தொட்டு விட்டான். தற்பொழுது அவன் உங்களை வழி நடுத்த உங்கள் அருகில்தான் இருக்கிறான். இன்னும் இன்றும் உங்களோடு பயணிக்கிறான்.

If Supramania Swami brought his guru, Yogi Ramsuratkumar, from his samadhi to join us in chanting his name when I was with him a second time in 2005, the Yogi brought Supramania Swami to my home during a Sivarathri night. Well, ain't that a miracle too. 

Swami Muktananda himself traveled all over India seeking a Guru. He became a monk at the ashram of Siddharuda Swami. After almost twenty-five years, he met Bhagawan Nithyananda. “In a flash of self-understanding, he knew that he had found his other half; that now he was whole again.” 

The guru is indeed our other half. He indeed makes us whole again. 

Swami Muktananda writes, in "Where Are You Going? A Guide To The Spiritual Journey," published by Syda Foundation, 1989, 

Meeting the Siddha Guru, we receive the blessings of all the perfected ones.

I am blessed to become a student of Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai. Swami was himself a student of Yogi Ramsuratkumar. Through his connection with his masters, I guess I have come to receive the blessings of Ramana, Aurobindo, and Ramdas, too. Coming to Tavayogi, I guess I have the blessings of his guru Chitramuthu Adigal too, and that of Jeganatha Swamigal and Ramalinga Adigal besides Agathiyar.

Ram Dass in "Paths to God – Living the Bhagavadgita", Harmony Books, 2004, (Das R., 2004) writes, 

“A Satguru is the one who is the doorway. Along the way, however, there are the Upagurus. They are teachings for us; they are like marker stones along the road – teaching rather than teachers.” 

He writes further that, 

We are surrounded by a web of well-wishers, all wanting to help us get free.” 

Indeed, I cannot deny the many Upagurus who came along to share their experiences as I traveled this path. I have come to understand that even those who harm us bring us a teaching or mold us further. 

When I sought to learn more about the Siddhas after reading the Nadi, I came across fellow aspirants who drew a grim picture of the Siddhas, where some accused them of breaking up families, while others concluded that the Siddhas would confuse us and chose to stay away. I wanted to prove them wrong. I understand that most misunderstood the Siddhas and their actions. The Siddhas only meant well. Throughout the years of worship to the Siddhas, my love for them only increased, never diminishing. I saw them in action at every moment in our lives, and those who chose to believe them. The Siddhas never let us down, though it might seem so at that moment. The Siddhas never condoned confrontation. They had their ways of accomplishing things. One needs to understand a Siddha.

I did not know gurus existed until I read Paramahansa Yogananda's "Autobiography of a Yogi". I never went looking for a guru or master, though I would wait in line like many others to meet the many visiting Swamis to get their blessings when they made their rounds to the temples to give talks, as my worship was centered around temples and home puja then. 

When Agathiyar invited me to come to the worship of the Siddhas, I did just that. I was blessed that in the years of my search, to learn how to worship the Siddhas, since Agathiyar had told me to do so, and since nobody could fill me in locally, I took up Thavathiru Rengarajah Desigar of Ongarakudil publications and the small booklet I received from the Nadi reader who read my Nadi. To fill this wide gap that existed, I began to compile and customize to my needs songs in praise of the Siddhas for my personal home puja, and also published them online. Moving on, I was brought to the right people and places without having to fall for false gurus, losing my way, money, and time. I never went in search, though I read a lot and tried to implement or put into practice what I read, be it the foods recommended or Yoga, or the methods of puja and the songs of praise. Traveling their path, I never had a goal, ambition, or a deadline. I continued with whatever Yoga I learned from the books, and later, when Tavayogi and Agathiyar began to give me techniques and practices to follow. Agathiyar tells me that what Tavayogi gave was a treasure. True to what he had said, I did not realize that these practices had opened up my Muladhara Chakra in 2007 until Agathiyar told me.  Agathiyar continued to give me more Pranayama techniques in the Nadi, and Patanjali guided me on the diet to follow. In late 2019, Agathiyar brought all our activities of puja and charity to a halt and asked us to go within. In 2020, he told me that both my Muladhara and Svadhistana Chakras were opened. The next phase was to take place. 

He said, "All this while you saw to your needs in this world. Now you shall undertake an internal journey. I shall relate what needs to be done to realize your purpose in coming here." He started me doing the Yoga practices Tavayogi showed, which he had me stop doing when I had pain in my back in 2010. He said I had stagnated in worldly affairs. He continued, "You cannot possibly break the shackle alone. Hence, follow the practices that I am going to give you. Reduce your involvement in outside activities. Sit before me and meditate. During this moment, carry out the cleansing breath as taught by your guru. Just the important ones. You shall sense a coolness within. Remain silent in these moments. Focus on your breath. Your breath shall touch the Suzhimunai and swirl. Travel along your seven chakras. That journey shall awaken your chakras. After traversing these chakras, when it touches the seventh, you shall know your purpose here. This is the right time to start this practice." 

Ramalinga Adigal, coming to us on 14.5.2020, gave me more techniques. He asked me, "Have you understood the purpose of asking to go within? Does your experience change within your body? This is only the start. Effort is needed. You shall lay the stepping stones and progress at your pace." He continued, "What you are doing currently is wonderful. Continue with it. Watching your breath is right. You are changing its flow correctly. Continue with it. You are on the first step. Prana moving in you is itself Pranava Degam. When you sense the Pranavam, you shall question yourself if the Pranam is traveling in you or if you are hitching on it and traveling in it. When you reach that state, you shall have the answer. That moment shall be one of extreme bliss. Go deep within this bliss. There is more. There is much to learn. You have my blessings. I shall travel with you till you reach the destination. I shall accompany those who go deep within. Follow your breath. Place the effort and you shall reach the destination."

The treasures that many seek were brought and placed at my doorstep. I never went in search of a path. The path came to my door through the Nadi reading. I did not venture into the jungles and stay in the caves. I did not dig a hole and meditate in it. I did not hold my breath in Kumbhaka. I have never fasted in my life. I never did any penance. But yet it all came to me, fell on my lap. I guess I was gifted it. It shows the love and compassion of my gurus and the Siddhas. It reminds me of Ramalinga Adigal's song "Arutprakasa Maalai," where he sings that his guru walked up to his door and gave him treasures. I was blessed to have Supramania Swami pass me all of the merits of his 40 years of austerities, the immense treasure that came to me in the form of Asanas and Pranayama techniques that Tavayogi passed on to me, and, of course, the constant and close supervision of Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, and the other Siddhas too. I am blessed that I have been given another chance to attempt to get it right, at least this time around, and board the right bus back to his kingdom. I am blessed that he wants me to share my story and my experiences with others. What could one ask for further?