STEP ONTO HIS PATH

Ramalinga Adigal invited his followers to step onto his path. Later he sang thousands of stanzas on the delight and joy he experienced in walking the path. Similarly Agathiyar invited me to his path through a nadi reading. Today I have him in my home as a bronze statue and in my heart as the jhoti or light. Besides lighting the sacrificial fire or homam externally, he invites us to fan the jhoti in us internally. What better way than to recite the songs of Ramalinga Adigal that brings bliss in us, joy to the soul and nourishes the spirit. Singing the songs of the Siddhas remind us today, how these verses have began to become true. We are experiencing the truth in these songs. Similarly Tavayogi once mentioned that just by listening to Ramalinga Adigal's Arutpa one can attain Jnana. We are beginning to see the truth in his words too. Whatever path we chose to journey, be assured that Erai will be waiting for us at the end of the road with the entire lineage of gurus that we chose to follow.

We at ATM have tried out numerous combinations of songs to be used at prayers, sometimes extending and sometimes shortening the duration. We always end up elevated and happy at having recited the songs. My granddaughter too has now joined us.

 
We have had several lovely people lend their voices during our prayers. Here are some of the best moments.

KNOCK HIS DOOR

Before you do anything drastic, just take a leap into the future, into your next birth and life. Imagine you are sitting with a nadi reader who is going to reveal what Agathiyar has written about you. Agathiyar would of course be speaking about this life of yours and what you are about to do. He might reprehend you for taking the particular course. So consider your actions very carefully. By being careful and aware of your actions you can avoid many pitfalls and sufferings in the future. This is where you realize that your life us indeed in your hands. Do something drastic and irrational, you end up having to answer for your actions later in life or in the next life. 

I too have to remind myself often to take charge and control of the present moment and not to submit to the chaos brought on by others, the circumstances and surrounding. Rational thinking and alertness on our part can prevent lots of misfortunes and sufferings later. But it is tough as I experience too, not to be enveloped by our surrounding and people who can at times drive you mad, crazy and nuts. But we have all the time to perfect ourself, as Tavayogi says we shall come back. Ma too says life is a learning process, learning to be better at many things.

Forget the past for there is no way you can reverse those moments, except if you have joined the ranks of the siddhas, saints and nayanmars. But you can definitely begin building your life, beginning from this present moment in time, which would automatically take care of the future and other births too. 

Many call me up or call on me to ask me to pray for them when they are going through difficult and trying times. I put forth their wishes to Erai. Some tell me further that they know my prayers will be answered. It is an honor to be regarded highly by others. I can only thank Agathiyar and Erai. But my wish is for all to engage with Erai and lose their dependency on mediums and middleman. Erai provides opportunities for all to come direct to him. It is just a matter of approach, seriousness and determination on our part.

Just as we chose and elect one from us to represent us in politics, to serve us and all in our constituency, similarly it is we who place others on a higher ranking, sometimes equating them to gurus and Erai. Others we hold on to as role models and mentors. But anyone in the physical form, be it a guru or mentor, might flaw. Our faith on them is then shattered. We lose our grounds. The whole fortress that we built upon them and their teachings crumbles to the ground. Would not it be wise to manage our own lifes and be responsible for our own actions, rather than lay all our hopes on others and regret later for following them when they shame us by their actions?

Erai is accessible to all. You just need to spend some quality time with him. Find a moment in your life to talk to him. Initially you would be driven to pour out your grievances to him. But later your would reckon that he knows all and you shall just sit and remain before him in silence, waiting to hear from him. When we stop talking, he starts talking. When our thoughts settle, his voice is heard. It is only when we are preoccupied with our thoughts and never stop talking that he evades us.  

When you return from work this evening, go sit with him at his altar in your prayer room. Look at him. Speak to him. Put all the logical thoughts aside for once and become a child again, within. Just as a child makes believe with his toys, take a similar approach with Erai. You will be surprise that he will respond.

Do not tell your problems to others unless you know pretty well that he or she can help you. Otherwise they might listen and excuse themselves only to spread your story to others. Chose to sit before the paper print or granite sculpture of Erai and lament before him. He never speaks back and keeps a secret. But you return happy that you have relieved your burden at his feet. Erai starts the ball rolling to help you come out of your sufferings, for he is the most compassionate. Knowing that your sufferings are that of your past doings, but yet he extends his hand in changing your destiny. Let us believe in ourselves and Erai and work towards it positively.

Know that Erai is nobody's property to be patented and charged to view. Erai is open to all who seek, free of charge. It is only for purposes of governance that Erai takes form, otherwise he is within and without. As you travel with him you realize that he is within you and you within him, as Agathiyar mentioned earlier that the prapanjam is within him and he within it.

Know that there is no one way to reach Erai's kingdom. The paths can be many. Each brings you there, even if you have strayed away. Take any path and you shall find him there, waiting ahead of you for your arrival.

When Agathiyar ask me to worship the Siddhas, I seeked out established societies and movements to hinge on and learn about the Siddhas. Tavayogi too told me that I would learn all that there is to know from the affiliate Peedham of his that he had come to officiate in Malaysia. But the moment I took Tavayogi has my guru, all other avenues and doors shut. I made quick progress with Tavayogi. My sight was clear and unadulterated by other's teachings. His blessings helped me sail through my search and seeking without confusion and doubt. His personal touch in various matters that came as advises made me drop my existing thoughts and opinions and see things in a new perspective. Bringing me on a personal tour of the abodes of the Siddhas, exposed me to the world of the mystical and mysterious, a plane running parallel to ours, so close that we brush with them in many instances, sometimes knowingly but unknowingly most of the time. Traveling with Tavayogi, the Siddhas made their presence known. They showered miracles that before those moments I never dreamed of.

After taking me into his arms and delivering me, Tavayogi did the most respectable thing to do. He stepped aside and let me grow, without dictating nor moulding me. Having brought me to the path, he let me discover it for myself. I began to have my very own experiences that moulded me and made me. I was not to be a clone of Tavayogi, my guru but Shanmugam Avadaiyappa, a unique individual who only carried the seed. Given our environment in Malaysia that differs from that of India, I began to devise a mode of worship that I was comfortable with. Soon it applied to others too as it was apt to our society and its needs of the time. I began researching and experimenting further. The documentation of my experiences became a guide for others, as I came to realize after receiving mails, comments and feedback from readers. I am glad that I could contribute something, give back to my fellow friends.

As Srinatha Raghavan shared a beautiful piece of advice on fb,

Stick to one Practice, one Guru and one Path, no matter how "tempting" the other Practice, Guru or the Path is.

We often get carried away spiritually, by the various Spiritual Personalities, because of the way they (and their followers) share with us their Spiritual stories and experiences. We secretly begin to believe, that by following them, we too shall experience the same grace, which is an utter fallacy.

The whole of Sri Ramakrishna Community celebrates 1st January as Kalpataru Day, when the Master had blessed around 30 odd followers who were fortunate to be present there, with spontaneous spiritual transmission and awakening. Those who received it, received the same energy in different ways, some went silent for long periods while some jumped and hopped in ecstasy behaving like lunatics. However, as hard it may sound, the Master refused to give this gift to a few present there, saying plainly, "Your time hasn't come!"

I would always be vexed reading this part of the story, because of the selectivity shown by the otherwise all inclusive Master, and so I once got it clarified through a Senior Monk of the Sri Ramakrishna Order. The venerable Monk beautifully put, "It wasn't that Thakur wasn't willing to give, but the few who were asked to wait, weren't ready to receive."

My next question was, "Why so?"

So the Monk said, "In all probability, they hadn't accepted Thakur fully as their Master or Beloved."

He went on to explain, "When you walk the Spiritual path as shown by your Guru, you need to be intensely loyal to it and walk on it till the end. There will come many on the path, offering you a deviation or a different version, but your faith in your own Guru, should be strong enough to not get distracted by anyone or anything..not even God!"

Ah! That was an eye (and heart) opener. These are the days where we get to choose, change or drop one Guru/Path for the other, but there were those days, where the Guru chose you after much deliberation and you stayed true for life. That's the difference between now and then.

There is only one Mother, one Father and one Guru, stay loyal to them till the end.

Even today after Tavayogi's samadhi, our journey did not stop abruptly for absence of a guru, but continues with him guiding us in the subtle form. We did not need to seek another guru in the physical form and begin all over again. Today, we follow certain ideals at ATM. We welcome anyone interested to know the way of the worship of the Siddhas. But bear in mind that this formula has been specifically brought together to serve our needs of the present moment, to compete attention from the hectic and buzzing world of ours, that continuously depletes our energy and attention. Although applicable to our needs, it might not conform to the traditional schools of worship. We are delighted that it works for us, and brings fast progress to us. Rather then having to follow the orthodox and complex ways that no one actually comprehends but adheres and practices from memory, we would rather adopt a means of worship that is alive and changing with times. The external rituals are only a means to go within. We are prepared to let go of them if required and when we are ready to move on. We are adaptable to all future possibilities.

WORKING WITH ERAI

Erai gives us all an equal opportunity to participate in his work but we are so preoccupied with our self and our vested interest in all things that we do not see the calling. Once the calling is heard the child of Erai heads towards him, looking for ways to communicate with him. Traveling long distances and taking on journeys that open up the whole wide world to him, and bringing him to acknowledge the presence of Erai in all of creation, the heart of the seeker opens up to him.

Once he is settled to listen to Erai, the divine begins the conversation. This conversation with Erai takes place within. From coming in many forms, through the nadi, guru, people we known and total strangers, he moves within and the internal conversation takes place. The dialogue with Eri takes place in this domain of silence and privacy.

Erai works through him who works for the good of others. As long as we live to serve our own needs Erai takes a backstage. When Tavayogi became a mendicant, his young daughter could not come to terms with it. Agathiyar pacified her that if Tavayogi stayed with the family, he would only be a father to her and her siblings. If Tavayogi became a mendicant he would be father to all.

Pattinathar had a calling in a rather drastic manner, where his son reveals through a note to him, that even a broken needle would not accompany him in his last days. That statement broke the camel's back. Pattinathar gave up his fortunes and left to seek that which would permanently come with him throughout his life.

Bhagawan Ramana too had a sudden calling the moment someone who returned from Tiruvannamalai spoke about Lord Annamalaiyar. He left for the Holy town and never came back to Madurai.

Yogi Ramsuratkumar was not accepted in the ashram of Swami Ramdas. After pleading with his guru to accept him and driven to ask if he was to be a beggar in the streets, the master replied, "So be it!". The yogi remained a spiritual "beggar" blessing one and all in later years.

Although Tavayogi took to become a mendicant, he never persuaded any of us to take on the saffron robes. He told me to bring the family into the worship of Siddhas. Similarly all of us at ATM have been encouraged to tie the knot and carry out the responsibilities that comes with it. He asked us to divide our time between family, career and devotion to him. 

Agathiyar continues to give us numerous tasks, most of the time its either mooted or initiated by the ATM family members themselves and he comes to endorse and bless our ventures. It is a beautiful relationship we have with the Siddhas. We continue to serve them while taking care of our other responsibilities. This formula seems to work for us well. We shall stick with it for now.

FOLLOW THE CHOSEN PATH DILIGENTLY

Srīnāthā Rāghavan shared a beautiful piece of advice on fb moments ago.

Stick to one Practice, one Guru and one Path, no matter how "tempting" the other Practice, Guru or the Path is.

We often get carried away spiritually, by the various Spiritual Personalities, because of the way they (and their followers) share with us their Spiritual stories and experiences. We secretly begin to believe, that by following them, we too shall experience the same grace, which is an utter fallacy.

The whole of Sri Ramakrishna Community celebrates 1st January as Kalpataru Day, when the Master had blessed around 30 odd followers who were fortunate to be present there, with spontaneous spiritual transmission and awakening. Those who received it, received the same energy in different ways, some went silent for long periods while some jumped and hopped in ecstasy behaving like lunatics. However, as hard it may sound, the Master refused to give this gift to a few present there, saying plainly, "Your time hasn't come!"

I would always be vexed reading this part of the story, because of the selectivity shown by the otherwise all inclusive Master, and so I once got it clarified through a Senior Monk of the Sri Ramakrishna Order. The venerable Monk beautifully put, "It wasn't that Thakur wasn't willing to give, but the few who were asked to wait, weren't ready to receive."

My next question was, "Why so?"

So the Monk said, "In all probability, they hadn't accepted Thakur fully as their Master or Beloved."

He went on to explain, "When you walk the Spiritual path as shown by your Guru, you need to be intensely loyal to it and walk on it till the end. There will come many on the path, offering you a deviation or a different version, but your faith in your own Guru, should be strong enough to not get distracted by anyone or anything..not even God!"

Ah! That was an eye (and heart) opener. These are the days where we get to choose, change or drop one Guru/Path for the other, but there were those days, where the Guru chose you after much deliberation and you stayed true for life. That's the difference between now and then.

There is only one Mother, one Father and one Guru, stay loyal to them till the end.

FROM LIGHTING 108 NEI DEEPAM TO AN AGANDA DEEPAM

We have come one full round in our worship. Beginning with the desire to light 108 Ghee lamps that was mooted by Bala Chandran of Thondu Seivom way back in 2015, we came to light 108 the following year too. In 2017 Bala Chandran desired to light 1008 lamps and we carried it out at the same venue at Batu Caves Murugan temple. Last year we switched the venue to the Sri Mayuranathar/ Pamban Swamigal temple in Dengkil. Bala Chandran wanted to light the Aganda Deepam together with 108 ghee lamps, following Selvam Aiya who lights the Aganda Deepam at his ashram in Marutheri, India. See http://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-bhrigu-maharishi-guru-vizha.html

During the last Guru Puja and Annual Fest at Agathiyar Tapovanam Malaysia, we lighted a single Aganda Deepam with the approval of Erai after the Kalasa Puja, Homam and Abhisegam for Agathiyar.

Similarly our prayers began with the recitation of the names of the Siddhas in the early years and expended to include elaborate and detailed songs appropriate for each ritual. Very soon we reduced the prayers that initially took us a couple of hours to only 40 minutes. Today we have reduced the time spent on external worship and begun to delve within in silence, learning to see the light within.

Our worship of the Siddhas has geared up going into the Fast and Furious stage, with many changes taking place in our worship and understanding of life. We are open to these changes that the Siddhas have brought upon us and brought us to adapt, knowing pretty well that whatever they dictate will surely lead us on to a better life, both materialistic and spiritual. 

SEEING RESULTS

I started the Siddha puja or prayers to the Siddhas without even any idea how to go about it. Nadi Nool Aasan Sentilkumar led me on a puja for the Siddhas when I performed the Nadikku Dhanam or the show of reverence and thanksgiving to the Siddhas for being merciful and kind as to peek into the secret Akashic records and come out with remedies to counter the baggage of karma that we have carried life after life and that is determining all the pleasures and sufferings in each life.

Taking the cue from Sentilkumar, I began chanting the names of the Siddhas from a small booklet he passed on to me. Meanwhile seeking more information on the Siddhas, I was brought to several Peedhams, associations and societies affiliated with the worship of Agathiyar and the Siddhas. None captured my interest. The moment I went back to Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram who was visiting Malaysia, to be re-initiated as directed by Agathiyar in the Nadi immediately after the reading, my fate and destiny changed overnight. My recording of the Nadi reading on tape was erased mysteriously the moment I took refuge in Tavayogi and the Siddhas. The establishment mentioned earlier by Tavayogi when I met him days before and that which was mentioned by Agathiyar in my Nadi too, where I was directed and told that I could acquire all that I needed to know of the Siddha path, was mysteriously dropped too, in the re-reading of the Nadi. I ran after on the heels of Tavayogi upon his return to India, where he brought me on a real life adventure into the terrains and jungles of Tamilnadu where the Siddhas once lived and roamed. Returning back to Malaysia, Agathiyar continued to show his miracles just as he had showed me in India. 

Agathiyar in subsequent Nadi readings asked me to go more places in India and meet other gurus. I told him I had no need for that since I already have him and two wonderful gurus in physical form, Supramania Swami and Tavayogi. He dropped the subject completely.

Soon my family and friends joined me in his worship too, when he dropped in at our humble dwelling enroute to his final destination, the Sri Jegathguru Raghavendra Mritiga Brindavanam Kinta in Ipoh. But he changed his mind to remain with us. My home took on a new name, Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM).  

Coming to his worship in 2002 after the Nadi reading, and after meeting Supramania Swami of Thiruvannamalai in 2003 and Tavayogi in 2005, my life changed drastically. Opting to leave my job early, I began to serve him full time in 2016. Today he has acknowledged his gratitude to us in worshiping him by granting gifts, showing his presence and performing more miracles, none of which we asked for. 

All these came about merely by listening to him without questioning, carrying out his dictates, doing the tasks given, and serving him and his creation. Miracles are common place at Agathiyar Tapovanam Malaysia (ATM), a name given recently, these days. He keeps showering us with his blessings, making us ask if we deserve his kindness and compassion at all. 

THE PORTAL

When I took my very first step to climb the stairs of Palani Andavar temple, I could not move my legs. They were heavy as stone. I could not understand. I was fit having tested my fitness level climbing the stairs at Batu Caves and Gua Tempurong (Tempurong Caves) prior to going to India. Eventually with the aid of both my hands, slowly lifting my feet and placing them on each rung of the stairs, I managed to climb Palani. Exhausted and drained of my energy, I dropped myself onto the floor at the summit and rested. After some time I made my way to the entrance of the temple, joining the existing queue. As I stepped into the inner chambers, I was confronted by a priest who asked if I wanted to do Archana and practically snatched the bag of goodies I had bought for Lord Muruga from my hands. He came back after some time and handed over my purchases plus a packet of sandalwood paste that he mentioned had adorned Lord Muruga's murthi. I began to leave the chambers not remembering having seen Lord Muruga. As I stepped into a dimly lit corridor, I realized that I was alone, the crowd before me and after me, were nowhere to be seen. Taking just a few steps I noticed an open doorway on my right and took a peek. A senior priest with another three young ones were in the rather small chamber. I asked the senior if it was Bhogar's samadhi. He nodded and lit the camphor tablets. He did a small prayer, explaining to me the objects of adoration that Bhogar had left behind. He pointed out an opening that supposedly houses the sage. It was exactly behind Lord Muruga's sannadhi! Taking a few minutes to sit in the divine room and presence of Bhogar, I picked myself up only to be confronted now by one of the young priest who held out a tumbler of milk, mentioning that it was abhisega milk or milk collected after the libation of the Lord. I drank it and walked out of the chamber. Nothing was spoken between us, only gestures made. The moment I stepped out into another corridor and into the open I was elevated to another mode, that of bliss. I was literally walking on air. I came round the temple grounds several times until the effect wore off. I seeked answers from Agathiyar on what had transpired there at Palani that day. He only gave me the answers some two years later.

I believe I had stepped into a portal to another space that day, since two years on when I was accompanied by Tavayogi and my brother, it was entirely a different space and environment from what I witnessed in 2003. This was further reinforced when I visited Palani in 2016 with the AVM family. Where did I land myself if not the twilight zone? Since then Palani has been a twilight zone, one of mystic and mystery.

The other time the walls and floor gave way as in the Dr Strange movie was when we lighted the Aganda Deepam in the Yaga Saalai at the Sri Mayuranathar Alayam/ Pamban Swamigal Thirukovil last year. When I, Bala and Mahin scouted the venue for a suitable place to light 108 ghee lamps and the main Aganda Deepam, we were shown the Yaga Saalai. It had been renovated recently and awaited painting works. The temple chairman gave us the green light and blessings to carry on. The only thing that troubled us was that we feared there would not be space to arrange all the lamps, space for performing the Yagam, space for performing abhisegam to all the murtys and also allow devotees to gather inside, away from the scorching heat of the day. We discussed our fears and were wondering how we were going to go about it as we traveled back.

As dawn broke out and we stepped into the Yaga Saalai all three of us looked at each other with surprise and amazement, voicing out that somehow the walls had retreated back giving us more space to conduct all our activities within one roof! Amazing!

We at ATM have again unknowingly opened up a portal to the other world now. We have had visitations from our gurus and saints. Amazing! But how is that possible? The switch was with prayers or puja to the siddhas. We discovered accidentally that we could make contact with the divine and the gurus in samadhi. How is that possible? Through the simple medium of performing puja to the siddhas.

Supramania Swami performed this feat when he brought his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar from his samadhi to be with both me and him in prayer at his kudil adjacent to the Yogi's samadhi and ashram. Similarly Supramania Swami made his presence known at ATM after his samadhi too. Tavayogi has had visitations from Agathiyar too.

After hearing about the siddhas nadi from my colleague, amazed at the wonder on how a nadi reading from ancient writings in dried palm leaves carried all the information about the past, present and future of an individual, it lured me to seek the siddhas. I came to read the nadi too. It was truly amazing. I took heed of all that was told. The siddhas showered their grace and guided me on. Soon they had messages for my family members too. They brought me to the worship of the siddhas, something that was new. I began searching about the siddhas. They began revealing about themselves. They sent a physical guru on the path to take me on a personal tour of all their sites and places. It was marvelous. Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal initiated me and my wife. It was to be the start of a personal relationship with Erai that very instant, we were soon to find out. 

The siddhas got us to perform rituals and pujas and soon sent aspirants and potential devotees of theirs to our home to watch, witness and participate in the puja. We were given practical tasks and made to perform and put them into practice first, before they made us compare the experiences derived from these exceptional moments of devotion with those of other saints. I understood then the reason for Erai to stop me from reading books that drove me to question the very existence of Erai some 31 years ago. I have come to understand that if I had continued to read the numerous text and scriptures, I would have been disappointed and frustrated at not having achieved the results of my spiritual search and attempt at the numerous practices spelt out in the books. The Siddhas and Tavayogi brought us to engage instead in practical sessions of rituals and techniques that gave us new experiences and hyperlinked us to the abode of Erai. We became connected to the siddhas through the recitation of the numerous mantras given and chanting of their names. Today the songs in praise of the siddhas and Erai makes much sense as we begin to recognize and acknowledge the essence in these songs with real time experiences of ours. Now I understand pretty well that they wanted me to gain the experience first so that I could then, and only then, refer to the scriptures and books confirming my experience. 

Bhagawan Ramana tells us that he never read much except for the Periapuranam, his Bible lessons and bits of Tayumanavar or Tevaram. After attaining his divine state having gone through a tremendous transformation, he began reading and could associate with what was written. Bhagawan Ramana explains this transformation in BV Narasimha Swami's "Self Realization, The Life and Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi", Sri Ramanasramam, 1985.

Formerly I would go there (the temple of Meenakshi Sundareswara) rarely with friends, see the images put on sacred ashes and sacred vermilion on the forehead and return home without any perceptible emotion. After the awakening into the new life, I would go almost every evening to the temple. I would go alone and stand before Siva or Meenakshi or Nataraja or the sixty three saints for long periods. I would feel waves of emotion overcoming me. The former hold on the body had been given up by my spirit, since it ceased to cherish the idea 'I am the body'. The spirit therefore longed to have a fresh hold and hence the frequent visits to the temple and the overflow of the soul in profuse tears. This was God's play with the individual spirit. I would stand before Isvara, the controller of the universe and the destinies of all, the omniscient and omnipresent, and occasionally pray for the descent of his grace upon me so that my devotion might increase and become perpetual like that of the sixty three saints. Mostly I would not pray at all, but let the deep within flow on and into the deep without. Tears would mark this overflow of the soul and not betoken any particular feeling of pleasure or pain. I had no desire to avoid rebirth or seek release, to obtain dispassion or salvation... in the language of the books, I should describe my mental or spiritual condition after the awakening, as Suddha Manas or Vijnana, ie the intuition of the illumined.

As he mentions "in the language of the books", referring to having read these books later, Bhagawan Ramana found out certain resemblances of what he had gone through in the Ribhu Gita. 

Bhagavan's first attendant, Palaniswami, brought a copy to Bhagavan's attention while he was residing at the mango grove near Gurumurtham in 1898. Later in life Bhagavan related how surprised he was at the time to hear an exact description of his own state recited in the Ribhu Gita and that it had been experienced by others and was the bliss of the Self sought after by all true seekers.(Source: From the blog "An End to Suffering" at http://end-to-suffering.blogspot.com/2006/04/ribhu-gita-essence.html)

The blogger quotes Ramana's reaction to the numerous texts that was read to him, from B.V.Narasimha Swami's "Self-Realization. The Life and Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi", Sri Ramanasramam, 1985.

I had read no books other than Periapuranam, my Bible lessons and bits of Tayumanavar or Tevaram. My notion of God (or Isvara as I called the Infinite but Personal Diety) was similar to that found in the Puranas. I had not heard then of Brahman, samsara, etc. I had no idea that there was an Essence or Impersonal Real underlying everything, and that myself and Isvara were both identical with it. At Tiruvannamalai, as I listened to Ribhu Gita and other works, I picked up these facts and discovered that these books were analysing and naming what I had previously felt intuitively without analysis and name. In the language of the books, I could describe my mental or spiritual condition after awakening, as suddha manas or vijnana, i.e., the Intuition of the Illumined."

We are beginning to realize that the lines and verses from the songs of praise that we picked up and recited during our puja comes alive and serves to deliver its very essence. I had picked up Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar's prayer as mine and asked for a guru to take me along on this journey, that later brought me to Tavayogi and had him volunteer to take me to all the sacred abodes of the siddhas. 

அகத்தீசா உனது சீடர்களாகிய ஒன்பது கோடி பேரும் என்னை சூழ்ந்திருந்து நான் விரும்பியதெல்லாம் முடித்து வைப்பதோடு மட்டுமல்லாது உன்னுடைய மலையாகிய பொதிகைக்கு என்னை அழைத்துவர என்னை சீடனாக நீ ஏற்றுக்கொள்ள வேண்டும். நான் உய்வதற்கு அருள் புரிய வேண்டும். உனது அருள் பூரணமாக பெற்றல் வேண்டும்.

When Tavayogi took me to Agathiyar’s abodes, he would point out to me that the siddhas were ushering us, following us and showering us with flower petals. I would look back at him with bewildered eyes, yet choosing to belief and move on. Today we realize the truth in his words, since experience has taught us much.

Another line from a verse, a song in praise of Agathiyar, "வந்தித்தேன் உந்தன் பாதம் வானமுந் திறந்தாய் போற்றி", clearly extols the greatness of the worship and praises to the siddhas, something we have come to realize for ourselves too. Today Agathiyar has opened the gates to heaven and the saintly ones are coming in droves.

When someone who came over to ATM, then known as AVM, for the first time, asked us what we had gained through worship of the siddhas, we were stunned and asked ourselves if we needed a reason to pray? Could not one just conduct a puja without any intention and expecting any results as we have done all these years? Will they only do it if they are told of the gains they would reap from placing an effort in prayers or puja? Does the gesture of prayer need a reason for doing it? Does prayer have to have a vested interest, a hidden agenda? Does worship need to be a deal with Erai, as with all our daily moves?

Today we can proudly tell them that: the worship of the siddhas has brought us closer to Erai; that we have broken the code; and that we have the key to Erai's kingdom. We await the grace of Erai to let us in. Ramalinga Adigal proudly declared that he had access to Erai's secrets and his kingdom, that Erai gave him the staff of command for him to carry out Erai's work of creation, sustaining, destroying, veiling and blessing his creations - received as a result of his undeterred puja, as he sings in his Tiru Untiyar.

திரு உந்தியார்

இரவு விடிந்தது இணையடி வாய்த்த
பரவி மகிழ்ந்தேன் என்று உந்தீபற
பாலமுது உண்டேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

பொழுது விடிந்தது பொற்பதம் வாய்த்த
தொழுது மகிழ்ந்தேன் என்று உந்தீபற
தூயவன் ஆனேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

தூக்கம் தொலைந்தது சூரியன் தோன்றினன்
ஏக்கம் தவிர்ந்தேன் என்று உந்தீபற
இன்னமுது உண்டேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

துன்பம் தவிர்ந்தது தூக்கம் தொலைந்தது
இன்பம் கிடைத்ததென்று உந்தீபற
எண்ணம் பலித்ததென்று உந்தீபற.

ஞானம் உதித்தது நாதம் ஒலித்தது
தீனந் தவிர்ந்ததென்று உந்தீபற சிற்சபை கண்டேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

திரையற்று விட்டது செஞ்சுடர் தோன்றிற்று
பரைஒளி ஓங்கிற்றென்று உந்தீபற
பலித்தது பூசையென்று உந்தீபற.

உள்ளிருள் நீங்கிற்றுஎன் உள்ளொளி ஓங்கிற்றுத்
தெள்ளமுது உண்டேன் என்று உந்தீபற
தித்திக்க உண்டேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

எந்தையைக் கண்டேன் இடரெலாம் நீங்கினேன்சிந்தை மகிழ்ந்தேன் என்று உந்தீபற சித்திகள் பெற்றேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

தந்தையைக் கண்டேன்நான் சாகா வரம்பெற்றேன்
சிந்தை களித்தேன் என்று உந்தீபற
சித்தெலாம் வல்லேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

முத்தியைப் பெற்றேன்அம் முத்தியினால் ஞான
சித்தியை உற்றேன் என்று உந்தீபற
சித்தனும் ஆனேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

(Source:  http://www.thiruarutpa.org/thirumurai/v/T342/tm/thiru_unthiyaar)

Tavayogi crossed the seas to our shores to re-introduce the siddhas to us; to bring the worship of siddhas to us; to bring solace and peace to those struggling with life and to spread their teachings in the footsteps of his guru Chitramuthu Adigal and Paramaguru Jeganatha Swamigal. Before his samadhi he told us he shall rest in peace for he has witnessed the seeds he sowed in our soil, germinate and grow into the many wonderful souls at ATM. He had taught us the basics and allowed sufficient room for us to experiment, research and develop, enhance the neri and marga or path to suite the needs of the current Y and Z generation and to accommodate the needs of the local population. We at ATM have been trying to achieve this change in thought, perspective, ways and means, standards, practices, rituals, and beliefs. As if to concur with Tavayogi, Agathiyar, the siddhas and the saints are making their presence known and bless us to move on to greater heights.

We are deeply grateful to have been blessed with the arrival of Erai at our doorsteps. We can never thank Erai enough for his compassion and mercy on us. We look forward to the day when all at ATM can bring themselves to sit in the privacy and comfort of their homes and perform puja to the siddhas, inviting them into their homes and hearts. Let them too speak to Erai, have a conversation with the siddhas and communicate with the saints. That would be the day of high achievement for Agathiyar Tapovanam Malaysia (ATM).

And to think that it all started with a simple home puja or worship of the siddhas at our home. The path is simple let us not complicate it. 

THIRUVILAIYADAL OR ERAI'S PLAY

When someone walks in with problems, Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal would listen to them patiently and tell them that their sufferings were due to their vinai or past karma. Then if asked what were they to do about their karma, he would tell them that they need to praise. When asked further who to praise, he would tell them to praise the siddhas. For some they are told to see the Nadi where they can learn about the past karma and take the necessary measures to eliminate its effects on them. Many are started on doing charity that would serve to balance the scales of karma. This is how and what we too tell others, when they open up about their problems to us, following in the footsteps of our gurus. Yesterday we were told the same by the messengers of Erai.

But how do you address or what do you say to someone who has seen the Nadi, performed the remedies, has donated vastly, were kind to the core but their fate had not changed even a fraction? It is said that karma does not affect a child, but his or her parents, till he or she reaches the age of puberty. But then how do you explain children who are hospitalized for months for all kinds of reasons having wires and tubes running through their tiny limbs and bodies?

I am lost here. The foundation on which our faith is build on, collapses. When having done all they are told, and yet fate continues to dwell blows, and they come back for answers, what do you say to justify their continued sufferings?

Could collective prayers help solve their problems then? It has helped to bring those who were on the verge of dying, back to live. Collective prayers for the recovery of a head of a group of devotees of Agathiyar saved him from near death. Similarly collective prayers by us at ATM, asking to safe Tavayogi touched the hearts of the siddhas, that they sat down to perform a yagam for that purpose. He survived. We are told by Agathiyar that collective prayers have the capacity to change things, as in the former when the devotees were told to come together in prayer so that the one in coma be saved and in the later, we prayed that Tavayogi cheat death so that he could be around longer to guide us further. Would I be right to deduce then that, we need support groups to come together in prayer for those in trouble? 

This is where we have to acknowledge that all our reasoning do fall short; that we do not have answers for everything. We might think that we have solved life's puzzle when another thing or something else crops up to shake or break our belief or reasoning. This is where we have to acknowledge that there is a power beyond us that has the upper hand over us. We have to admit that we do not have answers to everything taking place on the face of the earth.

For all those who come telling me that nothing has changed even after all the efforts placed and faith shown, I can only direct them to Agathiyar for answers. I do not want to come between their cross fire. I had advised many in the beginning but landed myself in trouble. Then Tavayogi told me why do you respond to their problems. Instead he asked me to send them to Agathiyar. We learnt a lesson that day. Today I ask them to talk to Agathiyar directly. I then bring up the matter to him too, in private, asking him why fate denies them justice and why it should deliver a cruel blow. I ask him when will there be a silver lining, a glimpse of some hope that things would change for the better.

We wait patiently for him to answer. There were some answers that he gave me after two years. Let it take a couple of years. We are prepared to wait. We understand that there is a reason behind all happenings. Meanwhile nothing can shake our faith in him. Meanwhile we shall continue to show our gratefulness for all the good he has done prior to the state of sufferings. 

Just as there are an unlucky 5 % of patients whose broken bones do not mend naturally as in nonunion, some people suffer even after all efforts have been taken and remedies done towards pacifying and reducing the harmful effects of their past karma. If it would bring some solace to them, even the saints are not spared. Some asked how could they suffer so much. One must understand that while they have burnt their karmas through extreme tapas and austerities, they tend to take on the karma of their disciples and devotees of Erai's from time to time, helping them burnt them as well.

It is all his play. It is all Erai's leela. If we can understand this, then we shall never be affected by any person, anything or in any circumstances be disturbed. It is only when we think we are in charge of our lives that we have to pay the consequences of all our actions that comes to us in the form of karma that needs a rebirth to settle. This is what sets the chain of action and reaction in motion that never ends. The day we submit that all our pain and suffering is of our doing due to ignorance, that of thinking that we are in charge; the day we submit that none is our doing henceforth; the day we surrender all our actions to Erai; that day is when the cycle of birth and death breaks. We become messengers and apostles of Erai. 

But the ego in us never submits to a master. The arrogant self would rather submit to greed, jealousy, anger, selfishness, hoarding, etc than submit to a master. When Erai comes as the master he shatters all the illusion. The ego is shattered. All the negative traits leave on its own accord. Positive thoughts takes its place. The self yearns to become one with the master, and takes on his image. The self then portrays the master. The lineage of masters continues through the disciples. The master then leaves his mortal frame overjoyed that his work in this world shall continue through his disciples. The disciple follows in the footsteps of his master, enhancing and improving the means and the ways, taking on new technology and bringing it to good use to propagate the path of righteousness. 

We at ATM are glad to be accepted in the lineage of Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal and Supramania Swami. Looking up at the forerunners on this path I am wondering if we deserve to be accepted in their fold. There is Tavayogi who has since gone into samadhi; Chitramuthu Adigal before him; Jeganatha Swamigal before them and Ramalinga Adigal before all these gurus. We at ATM have come under the patronage of these wonderful gurus. We are in save hands. They shall guide us further in returning back to Erai's kingdom and becoming one with the source eventually. We look towards that day.

AGATHIYAR GURU PUJA & AGATHIYAR TAPOVANAM ANNUAL FEST 2019

ATM held its Annual Vizha and Guru Puja for Agathiyar last evening with a wonderful turnout by the ATM family members each contributing towards the Potluck Annadhanam too.

Preparing for Agathiyar's big day.

Agathiyar adorned in his best cloths on his Guru Puja.

UNDERSTANDING THE PATHS

Sariyai was the starting point of our journey. We were brought to watch and follow our parents who lit a lamp and brought their hands in prayer to the numerous deities that adorned our altar in our homes. We used to watch them speak aloud to Erai, not doubting a moment of their existence nor doubting whether they would hear them.

Soon they took us to the temples where we witnessed rituals and Kriyai done. We stepped into Kriyai having the Purohit or priest conduct rituals on our behalf, we repeating the mantras after him, passing our gifts to the other world through the Yagna and in return receiving the deities blessings and bringing their grace upon us.

Moving along now on our own we search to know more about Yoga and Tapas, having being intrigued by the many stunts, feats and miracles performed by its practitioners. Agathiyar send us gurus who lived exemplary lives. We took to doing rituals on our own encouraged by our gurus. Soon the divine themselves come down from their heavenly abodes and guided us into sitting still while they imparted their knowledge. Now without the need of books, scriptures, or uttering even a single word the transmission goes on silently between the divine Adhi guru and his disciples in the confines of their home, in their prayer room, at his altar. 

We have come one circle, where we began on the path of Sariyai from home; having gone to numerous temples on the path of Kriyai, and later to ashrams learning Yoga and finally settling back to the comforts of our homes to secretly receive the divine transmission from Erai, falling into the state of Gnanam.

As the koan goes "First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is", and so it is with this prapanjam. 

During the Tang Dynasty, the Chinese Ch’an master Qingyuan Weixin famously wrote:

“Before I had studied Ch’an for thirty years, I saw mountains as mountains, and rivers as rivers. When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and rivers are not rivers. But now that I have got its very substance, I am at rest. For it’s just that I see mountains once again as mountains, and rivers once again as rivers.” (Source: https://tricycle.org/magazine/first-there-mountain-then-there-no-mountain/),

We look outside for the divine seeing him as separate from us in the beginning and after traveling the hills and dales, seeking and searching for him we realized that he was all along with us, in us and we in him, coming to realize finally that "First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is." First we saw the mountain and began to climb it. Once atop its peak where did the mountain go?Treading the path we need to see the essence of things and not the physical form, just as the Siddhas see our souls rather then the physical self. Swami Sivananda saw the river Ganga as the Goddess and performed daily arati and rituals that to another would only remain as just a river that flowed through the terrains. Swami Vishnudevananda on writing about his first encounter with his soon to be master Swami Sivananda, in "My Years with the Master", expresses his logical taught that pits against the vision of the saint.

Before leaving (after having meet him for the very first time), I went down the Ganga where it was the custom of the Ashram to do Aarati (waving of lights) every evening. All the devotees and inmates of the Ashram assembled by the banks of the Ganga to watch Master perform this evening worship. I was skeptical. I was of a scientific temperament and knew that a river is only water, H2O - imagine worshiping H20!!

But as I stood there and watched Master waving the lights, I saw the river become a mass of flowing lights. At that instant the river assumed a divine flow, a manifestation of the Grace of the Lord. Master turned and looked at me and in my mind I heard his message, “God pervades everything; this too is His Special Form.” This entirely changed my outlook on life.

(Source: http://www.sivanandaonline.org)

Supramania Swami had stayed atop the Annamalai hill at Tiruvannamalai for 17 out of his 40 years of severe austerities or Tavam or Tapas. After helping him build a kudil, he sat on his jute bed that faced a window that framed the entire sacred hill. When I visited him again, he had covered the window with a gunny sack. I asked him the reason. He replied that he could not see the fiery hill. He had seen Siddhas, Rishis and Munis all over the hill going about their religious chores and duties earlier. The abode of the Gods was right there he told me. It was too much a scene for him to digest hence he had to cover the heavenly sights. All I saw was a hill of rock! I realized today how trapped we are in our senses in the physical sense. We really need to go beyond the senses to get a glimpse of the heavenly worlds that is right here.

When someone was angered that Yogi Ramsuratkumar did not glance at the beautiful moon that day as he was describing it to the Yogi, the Yogi asked him to turn to the direction he was looking and pointed out to him that he was taking in the sights of 7 similar moons!

As another koan goes, “So long as you cannot go beyond the mountain, you cannot reach the Way”, there is no short cut for everyone needs to go through the process of recognizing the divine first as an entity outside us with a single form, then as prapanjam in all forms and finally settling within, in him. 

A Master who lived as a hermit on a mountain was asked by a monk,

“What is the Way?”

“What a fine mountain this is,” the master said in reply.

“I am not asking you about the mountain, but about the Way.”

“So long as you cannot go beyond the mountain, my son, you cannot reach the Way,” replied the master.

(Source: https://mindmastery.wordpress.com/2007/02/22/zen-koan-the-way-and-the-mountain/)

For this we need to carry a virtue, that of patience, for we need to journey a step at a time, treading the path carefully, aware of its numerous pitfalls, and having faith on the divine to come lead us ahead.

Will we even touch the shores of the bank or reach the foothill of the divine's abode? Ramalinga Adigal laments about his impatience in reaching the Lord's abode,

இன்று வருமோ நாளைக்கே வருமோ
அல்லது மற்றென்று வருமோ
அறியேன் எங்கோவே
துன்று மல வெம்மாயை அற்று
வெளிக்குள் வெளி கடந்து
சும்மா இருக்கும் சுகம்

"Indru varumoh? naalaike varumoh?,
allathu matru yendru varumo?
ariyen yen kove,
tundru mala vem maayai attru
vezhikul vezhi kadanthu
summa irukkum sugam." 

Tavayogi seeked the space where there is only the bliss of non-participation (summa eru). That was the message to Arunagiri too by Lord Murugan, "Summa eru Sol Are." Tayumanavar too was asked to remain such by his guru Mauna Guru, "Be silent. Rest in peace. Keep quiet (Summa Eru). Have faith. You will reach the supreme state of Bliss." Saint Nakkirar too prayed to Lord Vinayagar to create that space where the disciple could merge with the guru, 

மோனா ஞான முழுதும் அளித்து
சிற்பரிப் பூரண சிவத்தைக் காண
நற்சிவ நிட்கள நாட்டமுந் தந்து
குருவுஞ் சீடனுங் கூடிக் கலந்து
இருவரும் ஒரு தனியிடந் தனிற் சேர்ந்து
தானந்தமாகித் தற்பர வெளியில்
ஆனந்த போத அறிவைக் கலந்து
ஈசனிைணயடியிருத்தி
மனத்தே நீயே நானாய்
நானே நீயாய்க்
காயா புரியைக் கனவெனவுணா்ந்து
எல்லாமுன் செயலென்ேற உணர
நல்லா உன்னருள் நாட்டந் தருவாய்
காரண குருவே கற்பகத் களிேற
வாரணமுகத்து வள்ளலே போற்றி

mona gnana muluthum alitthu
sirparipoorana shivattai kaana
narshiva nitkala naattamum thanthu
guruvum seedanum koodi kalanthu
eruvarum oru tani edam thanil sernthu
thaananthamaagi tarpara veliyil
aanandha bhotha arivai kalanthu
esan enaiyadi erutthi manathay
neeye naanaai naane neeyaai
gaayaa puriyai kanavena unarnthu
yellaam un seyalendray unara
nallaa un arul naatham tharuvaai
kaarana guruve karpaga kalire
vaarana mugatthu vallale potri

This has become over prayer too at ATM. We await the divine that opened his eyes in his bronze statue, that opened out hearts, that opened his doors to reveal himself. That is the day when all our yearnings and desires shall die a natural death. 

WAITING EAGERLY FOR THE DAY

Truman Caylor Wadlington writes of Yogi Ramsuratkumar in his book "Yogi Ramsuratkumar - The Godchild of Thiruvannamalai",

He built within himself the temple of the indwelling god, that vehicle of the higher consciousness, the subtle form of the soul.... I have traced his steps upon the lighted way of purification and discipleship where by a process of reorientation he reached the point when both the light and the path entered the father's house as Christ symbolically called it.... Then he became the light and the path.

He saw. He knew. He participated in the great plan. He related himself to the divine purpose and he made the purpose his as far as he could grasp it....The mutations and transformation which he subsequently passed through led him step into the life of service.

Similarly Agathiyar asking us to come to his path, led us unknowingly, bringing subtle changes in all ways and forms, be it in our thoughts, in our forms and ways of devotion, in our understanding, in our perspectives, in our experiences, and finally within the body and all around us. 

Taking devotion for instance it all started when he came up with a very long list of temples that we had to visit and conduct from the simplest prayers to extensive prayers that stretched on for a mandala or 48 days for some. All these we supposedly said to remove our past karma and help protect us from falling victims to future wrongdoings. 

Usually we are asked to visit certain temples, donate food and clothing, and feed certain animals. After having done the usual, I too came back satisfied and energized with the experiences that I had and looked forward to more miracles in my homeland.

From a simple prayer that included praising the Siddhas, by reciting their names, going through several books and the net, I went on to include a more elaborate list of names. Along the way Tavayogi instructed me to perform the Homam or lighting of the sacrificial fire, besides carrying out libation or abhisegam to Agathiyar's statue as directed by the sage.

We included more songs, that soon became a compendium, during the puja that would go on for hours. For those on the run we compiled a 24 minute prayer book. As we evolved and transformed we were shown many facets of the divine who came to instruct directly besides the numerous Nadi readings for the members of the ATM family.

Today our prayer is short and sweet, the rituals shortened and the puja takes only 40 minutes. Nevertheless both we and the atmosphere is fully energized by the presence of the divine. The upcoming Guru Puja and Annual Fest that is scheduled for 6.30pm on 21 January 2019 will yet go through another transformation as we experiment to arrive at the ideal state of rituals and mind.

As I posted earlier, we have come to speak with Erai directly without the need of a medium or a middleman. That is the reason we have altars for him in all our homes. Rather then plan a travel to the most remote religious spots, shrines and temples, spending a hefty sum and time, we retire into our prayer room and sit in contemplation at our altar, engaging in a conversation with Erai in the very comfort of our homes.

We are reminding new aspirants to leave their baggage (of thoughts that include their problems and others) outside before entering Agathiyar Tapovanam Malaysia (ATM). Rather then share their problems or unload them to us or others, we encourage them to come over on non prayer days and speak directly to Agathiyar at ATM. Soon they would begin to realize that it is foolish of them to pour their grievances at his feet for he knows all and they would eventually stop this and instead just sit in silence in his presence.

For the long time family members of ATM we invite them to come and sit in silence and take in his energy that both soothes and heals all pain. We invite them to leave their baggage outside too and come into his presence as a child would, be reborn as a child that has no worries and desires, at least for the few hours that they spend at ATM. We invite them to leave their baggage that they had unloaded at our doorstep behind as they leave for their own homes.

For those new to the path and seeking solutions we invite them to share their problems with Agathiyar personally and light a lamp, just as he had instructed. For those already in the path we invite them to leave their problems behind and sit in silence in his presence. They shall get their answers in due time, direct and unadulterated nor modified - from the very source.

Program for the 10th Annual Guru Puja at ATM.

6.30 pm Kalasa Puja and Homam begins. If earlier we had invited all present to individually come up and place the herbs into the fire, this time we shall get them to symbolically touch the tray of herbs, before the herbs are placed into the fire.

6.50 pm Abhisegam starts. If earlier we had invited all present to individually come up and pour the Abhisega items on the murthi of Agathiyar, this time we shall get them to symbolically touch the Kalasa Kumbam before the contents are emptied on the deity.

7.10 pm Alangaram starts. If earlier we started with bhajans or singing devotional songs, this time we shall sit in meditation on Ramalinga Adigal's "Arutpirakasa Maalai", a wonderful narration in 100 stanzas of how the Lord came knocking on his door one late night bringing him the ambrosia and placing it in his hands. Valmikanathan writes of this amazing visit of Erai to Ramalinga Adigal's quarters.

Already our Swaamikal has begun to experience the early fruits of the union with the Godhead. He describes one of them in 100 stanzas of the second decad of the Fifth Book. All the stanzas describe in growing amazement only one item of experience. Lord Civan walked on His holy rosy delicate feet all the way and, seeking the door of the house where our Swaamikal was staying, opened the door, hailed him and placed in his hands something accompanied by loving and reassuring words. While all the 100 stanzas describe the same incident, the description of the feet and the expressions of amazement and gratefulness vary from stanza to stanza. Nowhere, however, in any of the one hundred stanzas is there any clue to show us what was the object which the Lord placed in our Swaamikal’s hands. Whatever it was, the incident made such a great impact on the mind of our Swaamikal that he sang no less than one hundred stanzas to record that incident.

The above mentioned decad is Arutpirakasa Malai (அருட்பிரகாச மாலை) at http://www.thiruarutpa.org/thirumurai/v/T225/tm/arutpirakaasa_maalai and the item placed in his palms is an Indian sweet Laddu, symbolic of Gnanam.

7.40 pm Vinnapam and lighting of Aganda Deepam. If earlier we invited all present to individually come up and light a ghee lamp and put forth their individual prayers and wishes, this time we shall light only one large Aganda Deepam and pray for the welfare and good of the world and all in it.

8.00 pm A surprise element with Agathiyar's grace if he should deem it fit and deserving of us. As I said it shall be a surprise moment, if Agathiyar wills it.

8.30 pm Potluck Annadhanam Dinner courtesy of ATM family members. We carry the tradition of ATM family members chipping in on bringing over food for all to feast.

As we at ATM always say, we can prepare a detailed plan to execute, but as always Agathiyar and Erai have a mind of their own and do drop in surprises. That is the exciting part of all our pujas. We really would not know what would take place till that moment, even with the best of planning. This is what keeps us anxiously waiting for the day. We have grown to accustom ourselves to his plans and his purpose. He directs, we execute.

A SIMPLE PATH TO GODHEAD 2

Besides taking us through the rough terrain of spiritual development, holding our hands tightly least we should slip and fall, bringing us to the state of devotion and bakti, he encouraged us to help the unfortunate too. Although it pained us to see the unfortunate rough it up in life, the act of giving brought much joy in us. We were grateful at having been given an opportunity to serve and give back to society.

Initially if we undertook these acts of charity to commemorate certain auspicious days in the Tamil calendar and the Jayanthis of Siddhas, today Agathiyar's children have come out to do charity irrespective of the time and day.

While some of Agathiyar's children serviced some families with monthly groceries, others cooked and took to the streets to distribute food to the hungry. We got to see some happy faces both young and old whose faces lit up on seeing us deliver the groceries. That smile on their faces brought encouragement to us to continue helping the poor.

We extended a helping hand to those refugee kids who seeked asylum in our country too, by providing rice packets that went into giving them a meal.

Neither did we forget mans best friend.

A SIMPLE PATH TO GODHEAD 1

I came to Agathiyar to read his Nadi. I had some idea of what to expect from my colleague Muralitharan since he had seen his Nadi some two years prior to my appointment. In the Nadi Agathiyar invited me to his path. I signed up as a recruit of Agathiyar.  I traveled to several ashrams and organization related to Agathiyar in Malaysia to know more about his path.  I traveled to India to all the places he had specifically told me to go. It came as a parikaram or remedy that I had to fulfill. Today rather then see it as a remedy for my past sins, I see it as establishing a connection with my gurus and reconnecting with places from my past lives.

Agathiyar thrilled me with numerous miracles while in India and promised more to come upon me reaching my homeland in Malaysia. He brought me to meet Supramania Swami in India during my maiden pilgrimage and Tavayogi while he was in Malaysia. Both these gurus trained me in very subtle ways. I learnt from them by just watching them and listening to the very few words they both spoke. Today I pretty well understand all that they said then, that made no sense before.

Agathiyar guided me through his Aasi Nadi. If in the beginning, I had seeked out the Nadi, having given my thumb print, and answering a long string of questions before I could safely say that it was the Nadi written for me, after Agathiyar offered me a space in his heart, he came generously to speak to me through his Nadi, some 55 times.

He sent many aspirants on his path to my home, Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), a name I gave for easy recognition and location of my place. With continuous rituals and prayers, he moved in to stay with us, both in our homes and our hearts. Today after 16 years we have received an accreditation from Agathiyar. His Vanam became Jnana Kottam. Lord Muruga came along and upgraded it to Tapovanam.

We know pretty well that we do not deserve all these kindness and compassion from the Siddhas. All these was possible only due to their blessings. All we did was to praise their Holy feet. They removed all our worries. They took care of our problems. They cleared the obstacles. They took care of our health. All they asked in return was to serve them by becoming their apostles. They brought us to work not for ourselves but work towards the good of Prapanjam and all of their creation.

Today as we move with them, doing the given tasks, we find ourselves bridging the gap between Erai, the divine, the Siddhas and us. As we are told of the four paths and our relationship with Erai on each path, beginning with the first path of Sariyai or living in the world of Shiva, also known as the path of the servant; next, Kriyai or the ritual worship of Shiva, also known as the path of the son; the third path, Yogam or attaining the form of Shiva, also known as the path of companionship and finally the final path of Jnanam, also known as the true path, today we can safely say that we have traversed each and every path, with Erai's grace and still are able to remain his humble and obedient servant, son and daughter, and a companion to him. And it all started with being obedient, carrying out his dictates and following in his footsteps.

Along the way he offered many gifts, but we rejected them all for we only wanted his Holy feet. But the most graceful and compassionate father gave himself completely to us. And he kept giving those gifts too as bonus.

There are no words to describe our father. As Tavayogi penned the words for Raagawave Production's "Agathiyar Geetham", a soulful song brought to life through the melodious voice of Gowri Arumugam, "Yaarappa Nee, Konjam Sollappa", indeed we are forever asking him "Who are you?" who has come to save us and bring us back to the shores and banks of Erai's kingdom.

We are indebted to his love and compassion shown on these sinners. But then again the most compassionate assures us that we never sinned and that it was also his doing. It all had to happen so that we should gain those experiences too. We are not ashamed to make mistakes for we shall learn from it. Life is a learning process we are told again and again. The Siddha path is one of learning too. Through this learning we come to gain wisdom, knowing the right from the wrong. There is no looking back as we move guided by our gurus towards the light that shines from his home in all its brightness. Come join us.

A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE

The guru disciple relationship is nothing new. The guru comes to us even before we are born. He blesses us while we are in the womb of our mother. He guides us as we walk the path. He continues to guide us after leaving the mortal frame. When we too are ready to join him he takes us into his arm and into Erai's kingdom.

Erai is with us all along too. He gives us the first breadth and comes again saving us from death by giving us his breadth again for some. Traveling with us on the physical plane, after death of the physical body, he continues to travel with us accompanying the soul to make its journey back to the Erai's plane. Some great souls continue their tavam for some time before they join other souls in serving Erai and mankind in subtle ways. 

While some souls linger around due to their strong attachment to unfulfilled desires, forcefully fulfilling these desires through other means and forms in the world, the soul that has lived out its desires both in the physical plane and the subtle plane seizes to exist, finally returning to its source, a place of inaction, void and formless.

Desires are the reason for birth. Desires keep everything in motion. The world came to be because of a divine desire. We came to be because of our previous unfulfilled desires. These desires are carried by the soul. It takes form and is lived out accordingly through several births. Drop all individual desires and you return to Erai's kingdom. That will end this cycle of birth and death.

Desires are the root cause of all sufferings. By dropping individual desires and taking on the desire of Erai, we fulfill his desire, acting as an apostle of his. If rather then serve our individual needs we care for the needs of others, our problems take a backstage or disappear for the moment at least. Just as pain is not felt when we divert our attention to more pressing needs, when we engage in serving others who are less fortunate then us, we would be relieved of our worries. We would come to understand that our sufferings are less compared to others around us.

When I used to spent my time with Tavayogi who was visiting Malaysia in 2005, one person by the name of Bala asked me repeatedly what was my problem even after I told him I had none. I was getting irritated. Finally he revealed that people always came to the path of the Siddhas with their problems. After 13 years I am beginning to see some truth in his words. When they approached Tavayogi telling him that they were suffering, he used to turn to me and tell me what they were going through was not suffering but mere problems that could be solved and overcome.

Today I understand that life is all about perspectives, how you see things. Someone sees life as a gift and the world around him as rosy. Another dreads living and hates everything. His sour and dreaded experiences in life tatters the pleasant and present moment, making it all the more miserable and unbearable while for others with pleasant experiences, they see the present moment as a gift and cherish it. 

We should learn to speak to Erai. That is the reason we have altars for him in all homes. Rather then plan a travel to the most remote religious spots, shrines and temples, spending a hefty sum and time, visit your prayer room and altar and engage with Erai in the very comfort of your very home.

We have begun reminding new aspirants to leave their baggage outside before entering Agathiyar Tapovanam Malaysia (ATM). Rather then share their problems or unload them to us or others, we encourage them to speak directly to Agathiyar at ATM. Soon they would realize that he knows all and stop even this talk and instead just sit in silence in his presence. 

We invite them to come and sit in silence and take in his energy that both soothes and heals all pain. We invite them to leave their baggage outside and come into his presence as a child would, be reborn as a child that has no worries and desires, at least for the few hours that they spend at ATM. We invite them to leave their baggage that they had unloaded at our doorstep behind as they leave for their own homes. 

For those new to the path and seeking solutions we invite them to share their problems with Agathiyar personally and light a lamp, just as he had instructed. For those already in the path we invite them to leave their problems behind and sit in silence in his presence. They shall get their answers in due time, direct and unadulterated nor modified - from the very source.

Program for the 10th Annual Guru Puja at ATM.

6.30pm Kalasa Puja and Homam begins

6.50pm Abhisegam starts

7.10pm Alangaram starts. We shall begin meditation on Ramalinga Adigal's "Arutpirakasa Maalai."

7.40pm Vinnapam and lighting of Aganda Deepam.

8.00pm A surprise element with Agathiyar's grace if he should deem it fit and deserving of us.

8.30pm Potluck Annadhanam Dinner courtesy of ATM family members.