THE EVER COMPASSIONATE AGATHIYAR

Having read much on religion and spiritualism and debated over it with others, having spent the early hours of dawn and dusk in prayers, visiting all the temples daily in my vicinity, I was angry with the divine lord for not protecting his subjects, and for the divine father and mother for watching in silence while their children suffer. In some individuals, the divine itself took responsibility for causing hurt and suffering. This left me baffled, troubled and confused for was not the divine supposed to be loving, kind and compassionate as broadly advertised and spoken of by saints. By the grace of Lord Shiva, I was saved from going cuckoo. Lord Shiva came in a dream in 1988 and told me to refrain from asking questions further and to keep them for a later date. I could not comprehend his asking then. Today I fully understand the reason for the divine to end my torment for I had to learn and experience further and gain an understanding of how the divine laws work. What I did not know then was that Lord Shiva had changed my fate and destined me to a new destiny under the tutorship of Agathiyar, in the years to come.

If fate deals a blow on others, it brought me to the doorway of the Kingdom of Light. Agathiyar came into my life by way of the Nadi, an oracle or a written document of my soul's journey and soon began to work on my fate bringing upon a new destiny. It was 14 December in the year 2002, as I sat before Sentilkumar, a trained Nadi reader from Avinashi, Tamilnadu, then in Malaysia, eagerly awaiting again for him to assist me in locating my particular Nadi amongst the numerous hundreds that he had with him since we had failed to retrieve my Nadi some two weeks earlier. After a similar session of questions, briefly scanning through every single leaf in the bundle before moving on to the next, whereby I was only required to either agree or disagree, we finally stopped on coming upon a leaf that pretty well summarized my life, its content and description of the individual in it closely relating and pointing to me. We jointly agreed that it was mine and he went on to read the Kaandam or chapter and its other associated Kaandams, in full.

Agathiyar addressed and answered the doubts and questions that I had carried for some 14 years in the Nadi. Agathiyar shared this divine law with me through his revelation in the Nadi reading, explaining the cause and effect or karma that determines the soul's journey and all that it encounters in life. I too had done my share of karma having brought hurt and misery to others in my past lives.

As he had asked that I come to his path, I went in search of all the organizations that carried his name in Malaysia. None captivated my interest nor made me stay longer than to learn a thing or two. I worked on myself, worshiping Agathiyar in the form above and singing the praises of the Siddhas as compiled in a tiny book given to me by Sentilkumar after initiating the prayer as part of my ritual of paying homage to the Nadi of the Siddhas, and taking resources from all the books, videos, and material made available by the local affiliate of the Agathiyar Sanmarga Sangam based in Ongkarakudil. In August of the following year, after having carried out remedies and atonements that were listed out by Agathiyar in the Nadi, in my home ground, I fulfilled all the rests on my maiden pilgrimage to India, due solely to his grace in wanting to see us come out of the maya and disillusion that covered us for eons and ages. I paid a visit to Ongkarakudil Aasan too for filling me on the worship of the Siddhas through his numerous publications and videos. 

Towards the end of my pilgrimage of temples, Agathiyar introduces me to my very first guru, Supramania Swami. I visit him on the pretext of seeing the horoscope for my younger daughter, a request that came quite sudden from my wife as I boarded the cab to the airport to fly to India. Supramania Swami took me as his student and showed me devotion and bhakti towards the guru, having himself five gurus to his credit. He showed me that sheer devotion could bring his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar from his samadhi and sit and chant his mantra with us, during one of my later visits. My fate is realigned to that of worship of the guru, "one who destroys/dispels darkness", someone considered necessary before we could possibly engage with the divine.

Two years later Agathiyar shows me to Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram who was in Malaysia officiating an affiliate of his Peedham. He took me as his student and asks that I frequent the local chapter of his Peedham and gain more knowledge about the Siddhas. 

Photo courtesy of Sri Agastiar Nyaana Peedam Malaysia

But the most compassionate Agathiyar wanted me to come under the direct tutorship of Tavayogi and directed me to get another initiation from him the same night I had a Nadi reading with T.Ramesh of Kumbakonam, then in Malaysia. Tavayogi followed as dictated by Agathiyar. He invited me to his ashram in India, which I did a month after he left for his Kallar Ashram. He introduced me to doing charity and feeding the hungry at his ashram in India. He showed me the abodes of the Siddhas, bringing me to the temples, jungles, and caves, giving me first-hand experience of the life of a Siddha. He brought me to the next stage, moving from Sariyai, my self engaged worship of the Gods and Goddesses in the Hindu Pantheon, to that of Kriyai, introducing the many rituals that came along with the worship of the Siddhas. Tavayogi taught us Yoga Asanas and Pranayama too, bringing us to have an insight into the next stage that was Yogam. Through his many short and brief observations and statements that he would utter as he walks by or walked with us, he brought me insights into the mysteries of the world of the Siddhas, something that has only begun to dawn upon us now in the present moment. View the activities of Kallar Ashram at https://agathiyargnanapeedam.org/gallery/

From the path of devotion or bhakti towards the deities, Agathiyar brought me to bhakti towards the guru as exemplified by Supramania Swami and devotion to Agathiyar and the Siddhas as stood for by Tavayogi. After the demise of both my gurus, Agathiyar has personally taken charge of leading and guiding me and others in this family of devotees, changing further our pre-ordained and written fate, wiping and cleansing the written slate and writing anew a fresh destiny as he desired. He comes through the Aasi Nadi readings and through others whom he uses as a medium.

After engaging in Sariyai and introduced to Kriyai, Agathiyar has brought us to Yogam the science of restoring the health of the physical body and that of the soul. After having been threshed and strangled by the effects of our past karma, he restored faith and belief in the divine law and its system. When faced with larger than life ordeals that we could not handle by our worldly acquired knowledge and know-how or arivu, we sought the Siddhas for an explanation and a way out. We were told that there is no way we could run away from it, but the most compassionate father always gives us that much that we can shoulder, postponing the rest of the ordeals to a later date, time, period or birth. He gives us the means to overcome the problems by rerouting us hence going around or lifting our burden, at least for that moment, so that we can go through the ordeal or the obstacles or comes to cushion the misery, pain, and suffering. He lightens our baggage of karma by having us engage in doing remedies that take the form of worship and acts of charity, hence diverting our mind from the pain and misery on hand. To those who come seeking for the reasons for their endless sufferings, they are told that it all boils down to one's deeds or karma in the past. If they seek to know the means to escape the tightening hold of one's karma, they are asked to pray consistently. To those keen to follow, they are asked to direct their prayers to the Siddhas, the secretaries, and missionaries of the divine Lord. How do you explain to those who have fulfilled all these directives and yet see their sufferings prolong without a light of hope down the tunnel? The answer comes through a mysterious message to a friend in desire need of divine assistance as "When the examination is on, the teacher remains silent!" Having prepared, burning the midnight oil, we take to the questions with confidence while the teacher watches on silently. Similarly having done what needs to be done as directed by the Siddhas, we take the examination of life, while the Siddhas watch over us, giving us the strength and confidence in scaling the mountain of troubles having faith that together they shall see through the ordeal and come out polished and shining anew, both physically and at the level of the soul.

Agathiyar lamented recently that people have moved away from living the lifestyle of the Siddhas or Siddhar Neri Vazhkai Murai. He brings to our knowledge several means of rejuvenating and strengthening, both the physical body and the soul helping it gain udal balam and atma balam. The physical and mental stress we go through strengthens our physical body, the mind and the soul by building on its experiences, a much-needed ingredient for life. In the "Metaphysics of Saiva Siddhantam - Sivagnana Boodham by Thiruvilankar Canagarayar, l96l, we are told,

In order to purify the soul, the Primal One by His infinite Grace, applied Maya and Karma Malams, to the fettered soul, just as a washerman applies Fuller’s earth and cow-dung to remove the dirt in a piece of cloth. When Maya and Karma Malams counteract on Anavam, the ignorance of the soul, being the effect of the function of Anavam, is removed from the fettered soul and its intelligence illumines.

We are reminded not to take things too comfortable and lose our hold on the ladder as we sit perched on the higher rungs of the ladder of spiritual evolvement. We understand that most of us tend to gather two forms of knowledge through our worldly lives, that of Pasa and Pasu, physical and logical respectively. The third that of Pati is that which enlightens us.

The sun is visible to all but he is invisible to the blind. Similarly, the Primal One will not reveal Himself unto those fettered by the Malams, but to those free from Malams. The three Malams Anava, Maya, and Karmam are impurities. The original impurity of the soul is Anavam. The five senses and the inner faculties of reasoning cannot function without the help of the soul. If the soul does not energize them; they lie dead, as a corpse. When those senses and faculties function, the intelligent soul accumulates physical and logical knowledge (Pasa and Pasu knowledge). These two kinds of knowledge enlarge the horizon of souls’ intelligence. The soul enveloped by Anava Malam is ignorant in the Kevala state, of God, the Supreme Reality and becomes enlightened through Pati-Jnanam. 

With the coming of the Sadguru, the darkness dispels.

It will be pervasive and omniscient after its complete release from all the Malams, by the grace of God, just like the sun hidden by a bank of clouds shines forth in full brilliance, when the banks of clouds are driven away by the storm. God appears as Satguru before the soul fettered by pasam or world of senses, and initiates it, on the ground of tapas performed by it in the past birth. On receipt of the Upadesa the soul realises its real spiritual nature as that of God and abandons the world and reaches the feet of God, as He is one with it. Now it is its duty to meditate on Him.

Taking heed of the call, the divine begins its work on us.

The husk, bran. and sprout or germination of a paddy seed are comparable to Anavam, Maya, and Karmam that encompass the soul. When the husk and bran are removed the paddy seed will not germinate, and the sprout (Karmam) will not spring up. Similarly, when the Anavam retreats and Maya retires, then the energy (Karmam) of maya also retires with Maya. When the Anavam retreats from battle field its opponents Maya and Karmam retire. When Maya and Karma Malams counteract on Anavam, the ignorance of the soul, being the effect of the function of Anavam, is removed from the fettered soul and its intelligence illumines. The soul, at this stage, through introspective reflection, arrives at a point where a ray of light falls on the soul in the form of an inspiration. Then the soul discovers the vanity or metamorphosis of the physical world, (the Asat) and is led into meditation. By the Grace of God, the soul becomes blind to the world and attains knowledge of God by His Grace. This is the spiritual truth called Pati Jnanam.

Sariya, Kriya and Yoga can only yield a lower type of Mukti called Pada Mukti or graded Mukti or Apara Mukti not the Para Mukti which is attainable only through Jnana Marga known as Sanmarga. Jnana Marga is the final stage. At this stage God induces a perfect Jnani to initiate the deserving aspirant or He does so Himself. This is done, only after the aspirant has learnt to regard alike all actions (Samadhva Buddhi or Iruvinai Oppu) without any attachment to them, and as actions of God Himself. He is one with God. God is love to him. This is the appropriate time for the Anava Malam to cease to have any hold on him. This grace is Sayujyam (the bliss of divine communion), or Para Mukti.  

We are led to uncovering the Jivan Mukta.

The soul which has realized God through divine knowledge Pati Jnanam, after it had renounced the worlds as changing or asat, is called Jivan Mukta. When the Jivan Mukta attains divine wisdom, the Pati Jnanam, he shines as a spirit with intense love for God. Then the redeemed soul becomes a Jivan Mukta, as he has reached the Sacred Feet of God. Now the Jivan Mukta is free from the three-fold Malams and is at the Feet of God.

Jivan Mukta is one who has already attained the Sacred Feet of Lord Siva. Lord Siva appears in him as Joti or light at Suzhi Munai (Susumna Nadi), through unfailing love unto Him. The Jivan Mukta, through unforgetting or unceasing love attains the bliss of the Primal One.

Then we embark on the last journey.

The Primal One, through His Arul sakti will release from Pasam the Jivan Muktas who love Him immensely, just as the sun blossoms lotus buds, only if they are mature and reached the state of blossoming.

Besides having us experience life as it showers on us the good, bad and ugly, Agathiyar brought us to rediscover his 5 tenets that serve as the core purpose of human birth, that he proposed at the Tamil Sangam.

Having introduced us to all these fine tools that serve to enhance and enrich our purpose in taking birth, strengthening our body, soul and spirit, he now comes to work further on the very vessel or vehicle upon which both the soul and spirit travel - our body.

For the purpose of cleansing first and later strengthening the physical form, he introduces his Agathiyar Kuzhambu, showing us to Siddha practitioner or Siddha Vaidyar Arivan of the Arulguru Agathiyar Arulsidhar Peedam, also known as Agathiyar Yoga Herbs Centre and officially registered as the Agathiyar Arul Shakti Peedham.

Photo courtesy of  Thiru Arivan

From http://ijpsr.com/bft-article/agathiyar-kuzhambu-not-only-a-purgative-an-overview/?view=fulltext we get to know further about this amazing preparation.

Agathiyar Kuzhambu is said to be one among the 32 Siddha medicines taken internally listed in the Gunapadam Siddha text literature, that covers a vast area of indications. It contains 11 ingredients which are mentioned in the Siddha formulary of India - part -1, that when combined act as a purgative. Besides being a purgative it is said to cure many diseases too. The major ingredients of this drug are Perungayam, Kadugu, Induppu, Rasam, Vengaram, Naabi, Manosilai, Omam, Aritharam, Karunjeerakam, Nervalam. (Source: Muralidass SD and Shree-Devi MS: “Agathiyar kuzhambu”- not only a purgative- an overview. Int J Pharm Sci & Res 2019; 10(5): 2156-63. doi: 10.13040/IJPSR.0975-8232.10(5).2156-63.)

Photo courtesy of  INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF PHARMACEUTICAL SCIENCES AND RESEARCH

Elsewhere we are delighted and relieved to know that  the "classical sastric herbo - mineral Siddha medicine Agathiyar kuzhambu can be used for all 4448 diseases."

At https://ayurmedinfo.com/2019/11/28/agasthiyar-kulambu/ we are told that in case of severe and intense purgation, a decoction of seeragam, puli, elumichan saru should be given to reduce its severity.

I was blessed to receive the Agathiyar Kuzhambu, a herbal preparation that cleanses the body and its various systems, rejuvenating and strengthening it. Readers who seek this herbal cleanser and other siddha medicines can get in touch with the the Siddha doctor Arivan.

THE REALM OF THE GODS & GODDESSES

We cannot possibly dream of having coffee with the President, Prime Minister or Governor, but might have an opportunity to dine with their officials or staff. Similarly, the Siddhas have come to dine with us and pass our message, wants, asking, etc to the divine. For this purpose, we are told that each of us has a guardian angel accompanying us from birth till death. But we are not aware of their presence most of the time.  Recognizing them and allowing them some space in our lives brings hastened progress and results in our purpose and spiritual venture. Hence the reason to have a myriad of Gods and Goddesses, deities, guardians, angels and souls to look over our shoulders. 

From http://www.chinawhisper.com/top-10-most-well-known-chinese-gods-and-goddesses/ we come to understand them from the perspectives of the Chinese.

Peter Wang writes that "China is an ancient country full of mysteries in which many Chinese deities and immortals can be found. The ancient Chinese believed in these gods, goddesses, magical beings, dragons, and ghosts and prayed to them for help" and goes on to list the 10 most famous gods and goddesses in Chinese mythology with their images.

Briefly, we quote him,

1. Jade Emperor is considered the highest deity ruling the universe in the Chinese world. In Chinese mythological stories, he controls all gods from the Buddhist and Taoist and other religions.
2. Wangmu Niangniang is the highest goddess and is the wife of the Jade Emperor in Taoism. She commands all female gods and is also a god of happiness and longevity and has magic pills which can make people live forever. 
3. Nuwa is a Chinese goddess who created human beings. It was said she molded yellow mud into a figure like her, which was then alive and became the first human being. We believe that "Brahma has the creator of the universe. While Brahma himself is the creator of the universe, he evolved from the lotus flower in the navel of Vishnu." (Source:https://www.ancienthistorylists.com/india-history/top-10-hindu-gods-praised-hindus-around-world/)
4. Guanyin is the Chinese “Goddess of Mercy”. She is considered to always help the distressed and hungry and gives comfort and aid wherever it is needed.
5. Yan Wang is a Chinese king of death who commands all the gods of the underworld. He has a filing book which records the life and death of every person. He gives appropriate punishment according to the conduct of each’s acts during his lifetime.
6. Dragon King is the king of the sea. He rules his own royal court and commands all creatures in the water. The Dragon King also controls the rain and winds and can bring rainfall to the earth. In our circles, Indra is considered "the king of heaven and the leader of the Devas. He is the god of rain." (Source:https://www.ancienthistorylists.com/india-history/top-10-hindu-gods-praised-hindus-around-world/)
7. Nezha is a great teen deity in Chinese mythology. In Journey to the West, Nezha was a general of heaven. In our circle, a comparison is seen with Kumara. "One of the major objectives of his birth was to kill the demon Tarkasur. Because of this, he was raised by the Kirtikas, far away from his parents to protect him from Tarkasur’s attempts to kill him. After achieving his powers, Kumar was appointed as the commander-in-chief of the Devas in the battle against Tarkasur. Due to his courage and skill, Kumar was offered the position of the king of heaven, but he turned this down as he considered his role as the commander-in-chief to be more important." (Source:https://www.ancienthistorylists.com/india-history/top-10-hindu-gods-praised-hindus-around-world/)
8. The Eight Immortals are a group of legendary immortals in Chinese mythology.  Each Immortal has his/her own power tool to bestow life or destroy evil. In our circle, Hanuman is one of the eight immortals known as the Astachiranjiwi. (Source:https://www.ancienthistorylists.com/india-history/top-10-hindu-gods-praised-hindus-around-world/)
9. Caishen is god in charge of wealth in Chinese mythology. 
10. Chang’e is the Chinese goddess of the Moon. During the traditional Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival, Chinese people usually offer mooncakes and stare at the moon in hopes of seeing her.

We see similarities in the world's religions too.

What brought fear and terror to me as a kid and that made me watch only from a safe distance soon became somewhat friendly when the forces came over a sibling. Soon they left him too. Watching them come to hear and listen out to the troubles of their devotees, I realized that they meant no harm but wanted to expedite the wants of their worshippers. Lately, we too have been having encounters with the divine forces. We are beginning to see how Agathiyar and his forces come to the call these days. They listen and execute the soul's wishes and at times our individual wants too. And it all started with worship to them. Diligently following their commands, and having satisfied them, they have left their abodes in the heavens to be with us.

When others use this friendship for their advantage in seeking rewards and siddhis, we chose not to ask for anything perishable. When the eight siddhis are there for our picking, we refrained from wanting them, instead, we are asking for an everlasting bond between the divine and us. When the Siddha's Nadi was waiting to be dropped in our hands, we chose to hear him speak to us directly without having to read or have another read and translate their words. When others crave to lead missions, establishments, societies, etc we shunned from these offers and gifts knowing pretty well that with these come power, authority and responsibility that bring on its fair share of troubles, corruption, and inflation of the ego. Having refused to accept them, Agathiyar reveals to us today that it was all laid before us to test how far-reaching were our desires and to ascertain the level of determination to stay on the path of righteousness and seek further the greater frontiers, rather than settle for these goodies. Just when we thought that we have passed the test, Agathiyar tells us that there is more test to come our way. Looks like traveling the path of the Siddhas, one has to continuously be on the lookout for both the obstacles and the goodies laid along the path.

I suppose the wishes of Agathiyar is to see us germinate, bloom and develop into one of their kind, internally, rather than putting on the garb of a Siddha, heading an organization and performing Siddhis for all to see. Suren, Mahin, and Malar understood where we are headed with Suren putting it into words wonderfully.

Agathiyar is so humble and with full compassion . The person who gave Lord Rama with mantra can also guide humans like us. That shows his humilty and compassion towards mankind and how much he can bring down himself just for our sake. Agathiyar who has been here for 4 yuga, never ever brushed off anyone who is new to this path. He has been always motivating to make sure we can also experience God one day. Not once he has pin pointed on how much difference lies between him and us. He has only mentioned how much we have progressed. Like how parents who will clap hands for their infants for simple efforts and achievement, thats how Agathiyar is guiding and motivating us from behind even though our achivement might not be as big as him and that also due to his blessings. That shows his humility. Whatever he have asked his devotees to do is for the betterment of the devotees and not for any of his personal gains.

In case a communication need to be set between us and him for a favor, wouldn't be begging to him is a better way to approach him rather then complaining or demanding to him. What rights could we have to complain or demand when he we are the one who is indebted to him.

We always seek him with many wishes. Why not one day, one of our wish to him is to become like him, humble as him, compassionate as him, inteligent as him. Whenever Agathiyar has something to say to his devotees he always wish and shows his gratitude to the lord or to his guru first. The way Agathiyar handles his disciples and devotees and how much respect he has for the lords and his guru are so captivating that he can be a good role model for anyone.

As a guru he has done his part. As a devotee, its our part to talk about his contributions and greatness rather then saying how much he has said and praise about us. The first person who we should say all that is to he himself and hopefuly he will be happy that we have have been always grateful to him.

Agathiyar has always praised us and his disciples but never has he praised himself nor has he told us what hurdles and effort he took to fulfill our wishes.

The way he manage all his devotess, the respect he has for the lords and gurus, the way he explain about something on a different tone, on a difference level of depth which suits the people who listens it. He knows that we are in maya and wordly affairs but he still open his eyes and guide us in this worldly affairs.

I remember having read someone mention that never do anything that your guru disapproves. What a sound message this is. By taking heed of this simple instruction we shall stay away from all troubles. Beyond this, we then take on the character of our guru and not take on his role or garb. In instances where we cannot bring ourselves to break a behavior that began as a habit and soon formed our character, chiseled into the rock for good, we turn to the guru to accept our faults and weaknesses as guna or character and pardon us, just as the many saints have begged of him.

THE SOUL STORY

P.Karthigayan says that the soul is the bridge between the body and the spirit. If the body is the vehicle, then the soul can be considered as the executor and the spirit akin to the commander - in - charge. It comes with several well-defined and established desires to be experienced in the physical realm. These desires arise at the soul level before it sees daylight through the physical and mental faculties that it takes on to establish, work out and experience these desires. Along the way, it takes on added desires prompted by the senses and its surroundings, often losing its sense of direction and forgetting the course it is supposed to take. It becomes deviated from its original course. Then there are other's desires shoved on us. The soul takes on all the impressions in life.

The Siddhas through the Nadi come to remind us of our objectives in taking birth and in life. They come to take the rein and lead us, taking control of the situation, often saving us from plunging further into the abyss of darkness. Agathiyar always tells us that he only sees our souls. In the event, we stand before him for guidance, he scans through us and communicates with our soul. He respects each soul and its decisions. Even if we desire a thing or a solution, he engages with our soul and only agrees to bless our undertaking, after seeking to know the desire of the soul within. 

It is only when we act separate from our souls that we lend ourselves into trouble. The senses veil the soul. We hardly connect to our souls. We do not know exactly what our soul desires or other souls for the matter. We establish what we want in life without having even an inkling of what our soul seeks. We are firmly attached to our senses and fall a victim to its ploy. Thomas Moore in his book "Care of the Soul", HarperCollins Publishers, 1992, says, "It's easy for consciousness to become lodged in the material world and to forget spirituality" so the soul then becomes neglected, for the physical body takes precedence and importance. The ego taints the soul and drives it away from its objectives. In doing charity too do we not see a slight empowering of the ego that we are the doer? If one were to realize that even the money that he earns comes from the benignness of the Lord, then the philanthropist would just give and keep giving without thinking that the aid was from him.

In "The Soul of Man", Sri Ramakrishna Math, Madras, Swami Ramakrishnananda, describes the journey of the soul, from being an ordinary person to become a caring person and later turning divine in nature.

Thus the man of charity gives up all his philanthropists works as he detects his blind ego behind all his actions, he dives deeper and deeper within himself in search of the lord of infinite love, and never stops till he realizes him in the region of his heart.

The only time the ego leaves us is when we are asleep and arises upon awakening to the daily routine of activities. The ego in the first three centers leads man towards fulfilling his aspirations in the material world. Swami Ramakrishnananda enlightens us explaining that the ego that resides in the three lower centers or chakras as man, when brought to be seated in its true seat in one's heart chamber, realizes itself as the soul and makes room for God to come within and share the seat. Coming into the heart chakra he opens up to the needs of others and the call of the divine that takes an equal seat with him in his heart's chambers. Overcoming the senses, the ego that maketh the man now realizes itself to be the soul.

Swami Ramakrishnananda explains further that all of man's previous energies which he used to dissipate before in vain search after pleasure gather themselves up in the third center or Manipura and man is gradually lifted up towards the region of the heart. He quotes from the Katha Upanishad 6.16, "Thus we learn from our ancient sages one hundred and one canals have emanated from the heart. One of them has gone beyond the cerebrum piercing through it. When a man goes up by that he comes immortal. Other canals going in various directions cause repeated births and deaths." This mystery can be reflected in simple terms as does Lord Krishna speak in the Gita 7.3, "One man out of thousands struggles to attain salvation, and out of many such great men who struggle to be saved, one knows my true nature."

Swami Ramakrishnananda writes further that in the heart alone the unmanifested being of infinite power manifests himself as soul and ego.

In the recess of the heart are both soul and God for so the Vedas declare. (Brahma sutras 1.2.3.)

Tavayogi very aptly wrote the following when I asked him to autograph his book "Andamum Pindamum". "Aandavan Uraigindra Edam Thangal Ullam, Athuve Payanathin Thodakkamum, Mudivum" when translated meant, "Erai lives in your heart, from where the journey starts and ends too."

Ramana is quoted in https://hridaya-yoga.com/hridaya-yoga-articles/what-is-hridaya-the-spiritual-heart/.

According to Ramana Maharshi, the great Advaita master, “The godly atom of the Self is to be found in the right chamber of the heart, about one finger-width’s distance from the body’s midline. Here lies the Heart, the dynamic Spiritual Heart. It is called hridaya, is located on the right side of the chest, and is clearly visible to the inner eye of an adept on the Spiritual Path. Through meditation you can learn to find the Self in the cave of this Heart. What is essential in any sadhana (spiritual practice) is to try to bring back the running mind and fix it on one thing only. Why then should it not be brought back and fixed in Self-attention (to this feeling of ‘I’)? That alone is Self-enquiry (atma vichara). That is all that is to be done!”

Sages like Ramana Maharshi affirm that the awareness of the Supreme Infinite cannot be localized at a certain place in the body and that in the state of divine expansion, of diving into the divine ocean of Consciousness, we can no longer speak of a head, arms, body, and other areas. However, Ramana says that in the moment of returning to the consciousness of the physical body, when we regain awareness of our physical body, a memory endures of that state and it appears to be connected to the area of the physical heart, in the middle of the chest, slightly to the right. That Divine Infinity can easily be found again by centering in the region of the heart.

When we withdraw the senses (pratyahara) and center ourselves in the chest area, looking for the deepest aspects of our being, we start to search “the interior” to the detriment of “the exterior.” In this way, we pass from the usual “conquering” attitude of the mind to a receptive, contemplative disposition. It is a kind of surrender, which implies lucidity, discernment, vigilance.

“God is born in the Heart and the Heart is born in God,” as the great Christian mystic Meister Eckhart said. This vision leads us to understand that there is nothing to be searched in the interior or exterior. God is already there. In Christian spirituality, and for the Fathers of the Desert, the Heart is not simply a physical organ, but is the spiritual center of the human’s being, his deepest and truest self, or the inner shrine, to be entered only through the sacrifice of individuality, in which the mystery of the union between the divine and the human is consummated. “The intellect of the Heart” does not function by formulating abstract concepts and does not reach conclusion through deductive reason. It understands Divine Truth by means of immediate experience or intuition. In the domain of the Heart, most of us are somewhat or entirely illiterate. The Heart knows through surrender, trust, and joy. Coming back to the Heart, all the vain noise of the world is quieted….The Heart is a sanctuary of silence. There, in the most sacred intimacy and solitude of the “cave of the Heart”, the moods of individuality fade away and the consciousness of unity is revealed. There, the world and man are one. So, in a paradoxical way, the solitude and intimacy of the Heart reveals the essential Unity of all existence.

Swami Ramakrishnananda writes, "For what is God? God is bliss." He quotes Sri Ramakrishna.

As long as man remains outside the lotus of his heart he has to wander in search of pleasure in vain, but once he goes inside it and tastes the nectar of divine communion all his wanderings cease once for all. 

Realizing God in the heart he is in a state of bliss. "What indescribable bliss comes to him when his soul is in direct communion with God!", he asks. He moves to the next chakra.

He finds his true father, true mother, a true friend and true lover in him, and can never turn his eyes away from him. He has found out his true home at last. His mind cannot think of anything else at that time. His mouth cannot talk anything else than of his beloved. He has gone up to the fifth center, the Visuddha chakra, or the center of absolute purity (that of singleness or oneness with the divine, occupied by the oneness or idea of God and talks about only him and nothing else, where God remains eternally bound to him).

Swami Ramakrishnananda explains that when once he goes to this center he has no inclination to come down but only go further up to the sixth chakra Ajna chakra where he sees God directly before him. He is said to be fully merged in love with his divine, that only two factors can bring them apart now - if his previous karma drags him down or unless he has previously determined to come down.

Only when we take several knockings after falling for the lure of this world we turn our sight to the divine seeking solace and solution. "Just as the mind digests ideas and produces intelligence, the soul feeds on life and digests it, creating wisdom and character out of the fodder of experience," Moore adds. "The soul needs an intense full-bodied spiritual life as much as and in the same way that the body needs food." This is what Agathiyar, Ma and Aiya have been repeatedly telling us too.

As Moore writes further, "Renaissance Neoplatonist said that the outer world serves as a means of deep spirituality and that the transformation of ordinary experience into the stuff of soul is all-important", the soul comes to learn and grow from its experiences. The spirit of God is in all things and we learn to pick up the essence of these individual spirits in his creation. Having collected sufficient experience for it to grow, the soul then it shifts into a silent mode contemplating on all that it had absorbed and begins to digest them while in solitude. Having done with the absorption, it takes on a new perspective of the world and returns to address the world and its issues from a different angle, and to educate others on true living, sharing the wisdom gained from its period of hibernation and silent contemplation. They become gurus in the eyes of others. This is applicable to those who come to a realization of the impermanence of life. For those who fail to accept aging and death, they are confronted with the slow and life-changing disabilities that old age brings on. As Moore says "Growing old is one of the ways the soul nudges itself into attention to the spiritual aspect of life", the soul reminds them then that life is to come to an end. "If one does not move one's soul life further during one's physical life it is a great pity", writes Dr. Zhi Gang Sha in his book "The Power of Soul", Atria Paperback, NY, 2009. 

"In one life you may learn many lessons and you will gain some wisdom from them. In hundreds of lifetimes, you will learn many lessons but you will gain much more wisdom. Your soul will gain more and more intelligence. A soul has intelligence in all its lifetimes. A soul has wisdom and knowledge in all its lifetimes. Your soul is the greatest resource for your intelligence. To realize this is the first step. To receive soul intelligence, wisdom and knowledge to transform your life is the second step. To develop your soul intelligence, wisdom and knowledge further is the third step."

These were told to us too recently. Lord Muruga asks that we open the heart and let him in. Agathiyar told to abstain from the institutions, groups, and its related activities and dwell within, telling me it was enough. Agathiyar helps us connect with our souls. He brings the soul's wants and desires to the forefront expecting us to listen to the soul talk to us. Each soul has come to play its part in his divine lila. The divine never messes in its life and its decisions nor in the execution of its actions. There is a piece of very intelligent machinery in place that executes this divine play or lila. R.Venu Gopalan writes in his "The Hidden Mystery of Kundalini", Heath Harmony, 2001,

After completing the cycle of all the eighty four lakh yonies the soul takes rest in the purest heart of the Lord himself. To keep the soul from accumulating the burden of piousness and sin, Lord himself decides on the concept of repaying back all that is taken and all that is to be given so that when the soul rejoins with him it is pure.

For those few who have a calling or desire to break asunder the veil of illusion, they are inclined towards a life of worthwhile living, making attempts to break the Maya that envelopes the soul. P. Thirugnanasambandhan in his "The Concept of Bhakti" published by the University of Madras, 1971, leads us into an understanding of the soul and its evolvement or rather detachment from all previous actions and the thought of being the doer.

The soul inspired by the highest goal of communion with God passes gradually from one stage of spiritual enlightenment to another. Starting from the first rung of the ladder, as the servant of God, the soul practices Carya, consisting in external duties such as cleaning and lighting God's temples, adorning the images of God with garlands, praising God and attending to the needs of devotees. For these deeds the soul is rewarded with Saloka or dwelling in the region of God.

From being a servant, the soul in the Kriya stage becomes a son of God, and renders more intimate service than before, such as invoking God's presence, serving him with love and praise and other acts of service like Sivapuja, besides attending to the burning of incense, collecting flowers etc. the reward for service of this type is Samipya or dwelling near God.

In the next stage of Yoga, the Sakha Marga the soul becomes the friend of God and thus is nearer God. Withdrawing its senses from the material objects, it concentrates on the contemplation of Siva. This is rewarded by Sarupya, which is to have the same form as Siva but not the essence.

The soul has to progress further in the Jnana Marga to reach the final goal of Sayujya from where there is no return. Sayujya is a state of union of God and soul, a mysterious union of either, so that God and soul exist with their respective attributes, the former as the source of bliss and the latter as the recipient of the same. 

When it is time for him to depart, the soul that has gathered all these memories leaves its body, its memories now shelved as Akashic records. The spirit seeks out its parent house or source from whence it came. 

When I told Tavayogi of my desire to see Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal in the early days of my tutorship to him, he told me that they shall easily appear but asked me if that was what I wanted implying that there is more to asks for. Recently out of gratitude for Agathiyar I told him that I desire to come back again and again to serve him. He put a similar question to me, "Is that what you want ?" that made me reflect in silence. He implies that there is more to this journey. This reminds me of the story of the three seekers who made it to the walls of the kingdom of God. The first seeker grabs the ladder perched against the wall and climbs it hurriedly in eagerness and anticipation of what he would see beyond the walls. Once on top of the ledge of the wall, his face lights up and he plunges over the side of the wall into the inner courtyard, without even looking back at the congregation that had by now gathered behind him. The next seeker climbs the ladder and reaches the top. He exclaims in joy and shouts out to the others what he sees over the wall. He too takes the plunge. The third seeker goes up the ladder, perches on the top, tells the rest about what he saw, disappears beyond the wall only to return to the folks he left behind with the news and his experience while in the kingdom of God.

Swami Ramakrishnananda retells this story as told by Sri Ramakrishna. Four friends determined to search for the land of bliss came across a very high wall, that checked their onward course. Nevertheless, they were determined to scale it. They secured some iron spikes that they drove fast onto the sides of the wall, one above the other, forming a ladder. The first to climb the wall was determined to come down the ladder after seeing what was beyond the walls. But on arriving at the top he went into a state of ecstasy and jumped over the wall. The second and third men shared the same fate too. The last man to climb saw the land of bliss, something that he had toiled for in all his many past births, although he had a great desire to jump in too joining his friends, he remembered suddenly the hopeless plight of many others searching for this holy land. He resisted the temptation to jump over the wall but instead returned to carry the good news of his discovery of the land of bliss to the rests of the yearning souls. He continued to work for the spiritual well being of humanity, even working for the handful few ungrateful souls who inflicted misery upon them. Which seeker would we want to be?

These days Agathiyar tells us often that it is all his play. Accept and move on, he says. Go with the flow as Lao Tzu says. Just be the watcher and not the participant unless directed by the divine to intervene, something Agathiyar is telling me to do too these days.

THE PUZZLE DEEPENS

Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal listens to the problems of those who seek him in private and would reveal that their sufferings, delay, illness etc were due to their past karma or vinai. Then if they accept this idea and ask him how to clear their karma, he would show them to worship or prayer. If they are interested to begin prayers, only then would he tell them to worship the Siddhas. At times he would point someone to the Nadi for further enlightenment on their purpose here. Agathiyar, the most bountiful and compassionate father, comes to enlighten those who sought him, revealing their karma which is the cause of their pain, suffering, and troubles and explaining its effects,  clearing the path and bringing relief to the tired soul by proposing remedies and other measures.

We followed in the footsteps of Tavayogi showing others to do charity and prayers to Siddhas if they came with problems. Tavayogi told me to be professional about it, not to give in to the urge to indulge in advising others, which I did and caught myself in a web of trouble, unknowingly. He asked me to only show them to Agathiyar and step back, as he does. Let them pour their troubles to him. Let him advise rather than us. Many years later he told me that "Give only this much according to the vessel", implying that share, impart or give your knowledge only if there is someone to receive and absorb."

Then when someone turned up at my door with a whole hell of troubles and problems, I told them the same. But they reply that they have already done all that I prescribed from the book. They had been very charitable and religious. But their family business collapsed and they had come to the streets. Why has not their sufferings gone away? Now I am riddled. I am puzzled. The formula did not work in their case. Their suffering continues to this day and we are helpless.

A devotee was hit by a car as she crossed the street after visiting a temple. Someone who endlessly spent his time rebuilding old torn down temples was killed in a tragic accident. Another philanthropist who went out to offer to build several Siva temples lost everything. What is then the cause of their sudden death, fall or continued suffering then? When people come with their domestic problems, and health issues we readily provide them with a solution and an SOP to follow. What about those few who have done their share to society and their faith? Why are they in distress now?

I had sat and spent many hours piecing the puzzles together. Thinking that I have solved it and going into a frenzy claiming to others that I have solved life's puzzles and I have all the answers to every question out there, just when you think you have the answers to life's questions he breaks it. Just when you are becoming comfortable with an answer or idea, he shatters it. He is shattering and breaking every hypothesis, analysis, understanding, and reasoning. I lay the pieces of puzzles in front of all those who come along and ask them to piece them together watching from a distance. When they give up I pick up the pieces and show them how it is done, for I have done it earlier. I groom others using the same puzzle pieces year in and year out. I stagnate. So do my followers. Today I am grateful to him for breaking all the ideas, notions, or answers that I have held on to. Imagine if he does not do that, I would be dishing out the same formula that worked on so many to those who keep coming. If divine does not break the puzzle I shall be living in a comfort zone, servicing people with the standard procedures and they are not going to raise their intelligence anytime.

Life is beautiful in the sense that it brings us to face challenges each day, enriching us. Imagine if you are going to work the same puzzle day in day out, you would become deadwood. Finally, I admitted to Agathiyar that I did not understand a thing and I chose not to. What I cherish is to be in his shadows and serving him all my life. That is enough.

When the Guru Breaks You

THE MAGIC IS IN YOU

The magic is in us. The Guru helps us to realize it. He helps bring it out. Sometimes we take so much time in preparing for the journey that we never actually get started, be it being going on a journey or starting a practice. We are so concerned about the method that we deliberate it for days, postpone it till we are clear about all things related to it, or fear to execute it for lack of knowledge. For one who plans ages to make a move, Agathiyar got me up in a jiffy and running behind Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of the Sri Agathiyar Gnana Peedham Thirukovil in Kallar, Coimbatore, hot on his heals a month after he left for India, concluding his visit to officiate a Peedham in Malaysia in 2005. 

Bill Gates once mentioned that if he was to wait for the perfect version of his Windows, only releasing it once it's flawless or perfect, it will take ages. He chooses to release it, testing it and waits for the feedback to come in. He then comes out with patches, or minor upgrades or revamps the version entirely. When starting us to do charity, Agathiyar told us to go to the ground and begin doing it rather than sit around a table to discuss the method. He tells us to execute the method. If it fails to bring results we can then drop it. He would not mind for we had engaged in doing it. A lady from New Delhi frequents Nadi Nool Aasan Ramesh traveling all the way to Malaysia just to have her Nadi read when she has many options back home. Once she climbed all the way up the 272 steps and further into the cave where Lord Muruga resides in Batu Caves, bringing along fruits and grains to feed the birds, fishes, and monkeys. She managed to feed the first two but surprisingly the monkeys which usually cause fear and chaos, snatching away bags that devotees carried with them, were not to be seen anywhere. She left the fruits at a spot and returned disappointed. On her next visit for a Nadi reading, she carried the guilt that she had not completed her remedy or parikaram in its entirety, was surprised to hear Agathiyar accept her remedies wholeheartedly. The important thing here is to execute the directive rather than ponder for days hence delaying it. 

Similarly, Tavayogi once told me to get started on performing the Homam at home. I hesitated since this was under the purview of the religiously trained priests. To start with I had no idea how to go about it. I feared I might do it wrongly and gain the wreath of the Gods. Tavayogi gave me the courage telling me that it's rather simple and laid out the means and the way and the method. I began doing it. He came along some years later and conducted it for us to see and fine-tune the method.

I had received an e-mail where a newfound friend wanted to know why the Agathiyar mantra I had received from Tavayogi, which I had mentioned in one of my books, deferred from the one he had received from a Siddha also in Coimbatore. Agathiyar had revealed another mantra of his to me in a Nadi reading that was to be chanted and shared with others too in one of my numerous Aasi Kaandam readings. I receive a call enquiring why there was a variation in the mantra and which was he to follow since his friend’s brother too had received a similar mantra from Agathiyar through the Nadi but with a slight variation. I recalled then a story I had read some time back. The story goes as follows:

A young monk after years of tutelage under his master finally was told by his master that he (the young monk) needed to take leave of the master to pursue his mission now, that of seeing the rest of the world and seeing that the teachings he had acquired as a monk at the monastery reach others beyond the walls of the monastery. The young lad gladly left to carry out his mission. Upon coming down the mountain where the monastery was perched on, reaching the foot of the mountain and the banks of the river that separated him from the village nearby, the young monk came across an old man chanting on its riverbank. Coincidently the old man was chanting the mantra he (the monk) had mastered at the monastery but with a variation. The young lad quickly apprehended the old man telling him that he was going about the wrong way of reciting the mantra and taught the old man the version that he had learned at the monastery. The old man listened attentively and repeated what the lad had recited. The young monk was proud that he had found his first candidate to whom he had passed on what he was taught.

Now the young lad had to hire a boatman to take him to the village across the river where he could continue his mission. About halfway through the boat ride across the river, the young monk noticed that the boatman had gone all pale and with his mouth wide open, was looking beyond him and towards the river bank where he had boarded the boat. The young monk turned around to find out what had caused the boatman to react thus. What he saw shocked him too. The old man whom he had met at the shores was now standing beside them and their boat. He was standing on the water's surface. The old man approached the lad and whispered to him that he had forgotten the mantra he was taught and requested that the lad repeat it. The young lad held the old man’s hand and asked for forgiveness for being egoistic and begged to follow the old man back and be taken in as his disciple.

Vivek Ravindranath, at https://www.quora.com/Why-do-Vedas-say-Dhyana-Moolam-Guru-Roopam-asking-one-to-meditate-on-Guru, explains the meaning and relevance of a verse on Guru Strotram, from a text known as Guru Gita, from the Skanda Purana,  that was in the form of a dialogue between Shiva and Uma (Shakti), that mentions the grace of a Guru.

"Dhyana Moolam Guru Murti.

Puja Moolam Guru Padam,

Mantra Moolam Guru Vakyam,

Moksha Moolam Guru Kripa"

He says in the Bhakti Marga, Kripa is key to salvation and names the kinds of Kripa.

Ishwara Kripa - Grace of God,

Shastra Kripa - Grace of the Scriptures,

Guru Kripa - Grace of the Guru,

Atma Kripa - Grace of the Self.

One Kripa will beget all others…. Advaita focuses on Atma kripa, Samkhya and Yoga focus on Guru Kripa, Purva Mimamsa on Shastra Kripa, and Dvaita and Vishishtadvaita focusses on Ishwara Kripa. But irrespective of the paths and darshanas, the role of the guru is pivotal in achiving self knowledge. So there can be many ways to achieve the ultimate Goal of Hinduism… the answer to “Who am I?” 

Vivek goes on to narrate a wonderful story to illustrates the pivotal role of the Guru.

The Stone Soup

A kindly, old stranger was walking through the land when he came upon a village. As he entered, the villagers moved towards their homes locking doors and windows. The stranger smiled and asked, why are you all so frightened. I am a simple traveler, looking for a soft place to stay for the night and a warm place for a meal.

"There's not a bite to eat in the whole province," he was told. "We are weak and our children are starving. Better keep moving on."

"Oh, I have everything I need," he said. "In fact, I was thinking of making some stone soup to share with all of you." He pulled an iron cauldron from his cloak, filled it with water, and began to build a fire under it. Then, with great ceremony, he drew an ordinary-looking stone from a silken bag and dropped it into the water.

By now, hearing the rumor of food, most of the villagers had come out of their homes or watched from their windows.

As the stranger sniffed the "broth" and licked his lips in anticipation, hunger began to overcome their fear.

"Ahh," the stranger said to himself rather loudly, "I do like a tasty stone soup. Of course, stone soup with cabbage -- that's hard to beat."

Soon a villager approached hesitantly, holding a small cabbage he'd retrieved from its hiding place, and added it to the pot. "Wonderful!!" cried the stranger. "You know, I once had stone soup with cabbage and a bit of salt beef as well, and it was fit for a king."

The village butcher managed to find some salt beef . . . And so it went, through potatoes, onions, carrots, mushrooms, and so on, until there was indeed a delicious meal for everyone in the village to share.

The villager elder offered the stranger a great deal of money for the magic stone, but he refused to sell it and traveled on the next day.

As he left, the stranger came upon a group of village children standing near the road. He gave the silken bag containing the stone to the youngest child, whispering to a group, It was not the stone, but the villagers that had performed the magic."

"So just like that, we all have the recipe for the soup of the soul…within us… The guru just Gives us the stone of meditation… But the magic is not in meditation, it is in realizing the Magic of the self that was always right in us", ends Vivek Ravindranath. 

Ram Dass says "The very essence of the relationship between a guru and a devotee is a sense of complete utter trust" something Agathiyar and Lord Muruga are insisting now from us. Watching the series "The Messiah" we learn to simply trust in God.

The Messiah tells the minister who brought him over to his church: "There was a frost on the ground this morning. I watched a bird drinking the melting frost. (If it was a person) A person might have wondered where the frost came from in the middle of summer. But the bird drank what it could and left."

Minister: "The people, your followers, I don't know if you have seen, but there are so many now. They keep asking to see you, to know what's next."

I too posed the same question to Tavayogi in 2016 and recently to Mataji. 

The Messiah has an answer for me too.

Messiah: "Who can know what's next?"

Minister: "I thought you might?"

Messiah: "No, I don't. You brought me here Felix. What told you to do that?"

Minister: "I don't know, I just did it."

Messiah: "Just like the bird. Be like the bird Felix."

Being a bird we do not worry, think about tomorrow, do not stash away food, will live life moment to moment. Similarly, we have been told time again not to investigate the beginning and the end. Agathiyar has shut us all up asking us not to ask any further questions telling us that our experience shall teach us and we shall become wiser from going through it and living it. 

The Messiah wakes the minister, asking to move.

Messiah: "Felix its time to go."

Minister: "Go? Wait. Go where?"

Messiah: "What is your purpose? Why did God give you this life to live now? God is speaking to all of us, Felix. Let him speak to you. You decide where we go."

We are told that even if we do not understand everything and why it was happening, it is quite alright. But we need to have trust in God. 

When the minister and his family fail to understand many things, they confront the Messiah individually.

Minister: "What is my part in all this?"

Messiah: "Only you know that."

Minister: "And how do I know that?"

Messiah: "Pray."

Minister: "Pray! To whom? Aren't you supposed to be God?"

Messiah: "Do you believe that? Then kneel down Felix"

As the minister turns away in hesitation, the Messiah walks away. 

The minister comes back later. "I have been praying for answers. And there is a lot that I still don't understand. I realized one thing. I always assumed that since I come from humble beginnings so I must be a humble man. But I learned that my lesson is in humility. I'm God's servant. And therefore I am your servant. And I want to serve you the best way I can."

Messiah: "And how is that?" The minister arranges for a live show to be broadcast all over after getting the Messiah's consent. 

Ram Dass in his "Paths to God - Living the Bhagavad Gita" writes, "We trust that whatever the guru does will be for our own good. Then our life becomes completely transparent, they read your mind, they see you, you can't hide, it's all in the open now." Ram Dass adds "Maharajji knows about all my dirty laundry and he still loves me." The same goes with Agathiyar, Lord Muruga, Ma, and Aiya. 

Ram Dass touches on a profound truth that the world is his stage and we the players: "I used to sit in front of Maharajji... I felt like he had created me out of his mind in order to play with me." After I finished carrying out the many remedies given out by Agathiyar in my first Nadi reading, that served to appease the Gods and settle the score to those souls to whom I had caused hurt and harm in my earlier births, he surprised me further by saying that it was all his doings and that I needed these experiences. Recently he tells me that all the promise of gifts directed at me was to test if I fell for them and the rewards that came with it: attention, respect, fame, authority, power, richness etc. I guess I passed his test by turning them down. To another devotee, he tells her that he had placed obstacles and delayed her ventures, for love towards her. This brings me back to the days of my pursuit of knowing God and how I was angered seeing devotees of his suffer because of others' doings and at times the "cruel" hand of the divine too. When the Gods told us that it was their doings, I could not accept the fact that the divine that is supposed to be loving, caring and compassionate could have a hand in harming his children. Subsequently to save me from turning into an atheist Lord Shiva came in a dream and asked me to take a break and cool down, by telling me to keep my questions and doubts to a later date.

Today Ram Dass answers these questions: "A guru will say or do something that causes a certain flip to happen which leads that person to the next stage. The guru is just there doing whatever the dharma of the moment demands. There is no ploy or deceit. Neither a plan. Just plain living in the moment." Today I understand all delays are his for our own good. All failures are his; so are all gifts a way of putting us to test to see if we fall for the lure of power and wealth, both of which corrupt the mind and soul. Today I have come to realize that at times they turn us down or fail us in the moment of our need only because they see through the past, present and future and chose not to involve and change the cause of happenings for our own good. This only happens when we surrender to them and let them take charge. As long as we hold on to the steering, they take a ride with us, choosing to remain silent or invisible. "The love for a guru is a process of surrendering," says Ram Dass of his love towards Maharajji. "I learned to let go into whatever he thinks best for me. I surrender to his version of my storyline in place of my own." Instead of writing our own script for life let him write out the script of our life. It would definitely be a good story. For that to take place we need to allow ourselves to be touched and allow access to the divine to begin tuning us as a suitable receptacle of theirs to carry out their work. 

"To be touched by a Master’s hand only requires inner attunement, not a physical touch. We want to become attuned so we can be receptive to the Guru’s touch." Read more: http://yogananda.com.au/c/Preeti_love.html

Ram Dass describes the path that he adopts and follows too. "Guru Kripa or the method of the guru is one form of bhakti practice. It is the specific form of bhakti that focuses on the guru, and on the guru's grace or the guru's blessings. The relationship with the guru is totally an internal matter with its essence being love. The guru is a being who awakens incredible love in us and then uses our love to awaken us out of the illusion of duality. Quoting Ramana, Ram Dass explains further.

The glance of grace from the master is enough to awaken the devotee from the sleep of ignorance to the knowledge of the real. The guru as a separate entity exists only within the illusion of separateness ... the minute the method of the guru has worked, it's awakened you, and it ceases to be anything at all. It has an automatic built-in self destruct mechanism you use it until it opens you in a certain way and then you see through it and let go of it. The guru becomes irrelevant.

When the disciple is ready the master is ready also, we are often told. "When the disciple is ready to receive only then does the master point the way. The master knows that if he had pointed the way earlier, the disciple would not have seen it, would not have taken note of it," says Rohit Mehta in "The Creative Silence" The Theosophical Publishing House, 1957.

Just as Tavayogi said we become what we desire to be, Ram Dass guides us into Guru Kripa:  coming to the guru, invite him into our hearts, install him in the altar within the heart, offer yourself to him, sing, chant, pray, love him as you love yourself, open up to him, watch and slowly become - Him.

DRAWING ON EXPERIENCES 3

Not having any idea of who the Siddhas were and how to go about their worship, when Agathiyar asks me to come to the worship of the Siddhas in the Nadi, by his grace Sivabalan handed me a painting of Agathiyar after the reading. Unknowingly I held my guru in my hands that day. Never did I imagine that 8 years later I shall hold a bronze statue of his in my hands too. Today I realize that if Agathiyar wants us to do something that he would give us the means and show the way too.

The Nadi reader Sentilkumar performed a puja for the Nadi as requested by Agathiyar, several days later at Sivabalan's home. I was then introduced to the Siddhas formally, when he led the prayer reciting the names of the Siddhas. That was to be my very first Siddhar puja. I began reciting these names in my home since then. Today Agathiyar tells me the significance of these names, that there are themselves the Maha Mantra or Mantras of great magnitude.

Seeking to know more about their puja I arrived at the Agathiyar Sanmarga Sangam in Dengkil, which I remembered, seeing their members on the streets and at religious events, soliciting funds and donations to help and feed the poor. I remembered the receipts they issued carried the picture of Agathiyar and the founder of the mission whom I came to know later as Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar. Anbarasan, Jayanthi ma, and Manivannan ushered me and my wife whenever we frequented the mission and feed us well too. I bought many video CDs of the guru and books from them and learned many things about the Siddhas and their worship, watching and reading these materials. I saw the extent of their service and the love they carried in providing for the unfortunate both in Malaysia and India. This mission was a stepping stone and catalyst for me to become informed about the Siddhas. I frequented this mission.

Visiting the Agathiyar Gurukulam in Kampung Laksamana I saw that the movement and its members had moved on to Ramalinga Adigal and his Jhothi Vazhipaadu. They gathered to recite the Agaval and worship ArutperJhoti Andavar. As my wish was explicitly to know about the Siddhas, I turned my attention elsewhere.

Equipped with whatever little knowledge I gained I traveled to India in 2003 for the first time to carry out my remedies or parikaram. I wanted very much to meet Rengaraja Desigar, the head of the mission at Ongarakudil. As I stepped into their premises, the late Nadarajah ushered me and Deva, my chauffeur. Stating my wish to see the mission head, Nadarajah told me that Rengarajar will give an audience at 6pm to the public. Meanwhile, Nadarajah served us tea and brought us on a tour of their temple/ashram complex. He briefed us that the guru wanted everybody who came by to know the extent of their service and work. I was surprised to see the magnitude of the storage facilities, the preparation of food and their service in feeding the hungry. I was blessed to see Rengarajar earlier than said when by Agathiyar's grace a couple of entrepreneurs from Bombay had just left after seeing him regarding certain fixtures for the ashram. Nadarajah rushed me to see Rengarajar who was now sitting alone in a room. After a quick introduction from Nadarajah, the guru moved on to ask about my itinerary from Deva. Then he turned to me and asked about the city I lived in. This went on for some time. There was no mention of the Siddhas. My thirst and hunger to know about them as they say from the horse's mouth was not quenched. I was disappointed. I then asked him to bless me. Nadarajah whispered to me that as Rengarajar was hard of hearing I had to speak up. I did asking the same a couple of times. But he did not respond. Finally, he told me coming there itself was a blessing. This was a blow to me. Many questions ran through my mind. Was not I eligible to be there? Was it wrong of me to be there? Did I drop in by chance or accident? No, I didn't. I had not decided to addon to this destination during my travels. On the contrary, I had planned from the very beginning, while drafting my itinerary, to meet him in person. I passed on a small donation to him and took leave of him. I was invited to spend the night over at the ashram by Nadarajah but as I had an earlier commitment to carry out a remedy at the Paalur Sani temple, I had to turn down the offer. As I returned to the hotel, I was embroiled in thoughts of why the guru refused to bless me, a very simple thing that was asked of him. This question was to bug me for the next two years. 

Meanwhile, a couple of days later as I had finished my Girivalam or circumambulating the Holy hill of Tiruvannamalai, I landed at the home of my very first guru Supramania Swami, unknowingly and mysteriously. I had gone there on the pretext of charting my daughter's horoscope, something mooted by my wife during departure from Malaysia. Deva recommended him when I ask to see an astrologer in Chennai the next day before I returned to Malaysia. Supramania Swami was Deva's uncle too. 

Two years later I meet my second guru Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram in Malaysia. He offered to initiate me and I took up the offer with my wife. Several weeks later, Agathiyar surprised us both, Tavayogi and me, when he asked that Tavayogi initiate me again. He did as told.

It was only in August of 2008 that Agathiyar explained in the Aasi Nadi reading the circumstances surrounding my visit to see Rengajah Desigar and why I was not blessed. I understood that one had to have a calling to visit gurus of such nature. Mere desires of ours will bring us there but it would not be fruitful or productive. One has to be fated for such events to take place at a specific time. Agathiyar told me to go again saying "Thy shall gain his blessings now." I never went. I was happy with my two gurus.

Today I understand that I had an obligation to fulfill with Supramania Swami hence I landed at his doorstep several days after meeting Rengarajar. I was to help Supramania Swami fulfill his 40 years wish to build a temple. Although the venture was stopped by the mysterious hand of the divine, we went ahead to purchase land and build him a small lodge or kudil. I realized that my destiny was with Tavayogi who was to nurture me further on the path of the Siddhas, taking me on an exploration of the abodes and caves of the Siddhas, something that would not be possible under the care of Rengarajar or even Supramania Swami. 

Meeting Tavayogi at the local affiliation of his Kallar Ashram, the Agathiyar Gnana Peedham based in Wisma Keringat in Batu Caves brought me to meet Appana Nagappan, Perumal, Sathya, Bala, and several others. Bringing along the leaflet that I had kept with me, given by Nadi reader Sentilkumar, upon my first Nadi reading, I showed it to him and asked to confirm if it was his. He told me that it was him and that he was to build a temple for Agathiyar at Kallar. He showed me photos of the activities conducted and invited me over. I took up the offer and arrived in India shortly, hot on the heels of his.

A brief stay at his ashram and traveling places with him, bringing me to the jungles, falls and caves of Kuttralam, and the caves of Uthiyur, visiting the ashrams in Ooty and several other temples in Tamilnadu was indeed an unexpected turn of events and was all too much to absorb. I was told that it was all Agathiyar's doing in subsequent Nadi readings upon my return to Malaysia. Agathiyar told me that there was an urgency in me having to get to know him, hence the reason for the journey taking place.

While my solo maiden visit to India was practically a tour of temples, fulfilling the needs of the Nadi and the parikaram, my second visit two years later was an exploration of the world of Siddhas, undertaken together with Tavayogi, learning first hand and gaining experiences for the self. It was a revisit and a culmination of past nostalgic moments for Tavayogi himself, reminiscing his time traveling the length and breadth of India earlier. 

Meanwhile, I learned guru bhakti or devotion to the guru from Supramania Swami, who had five gurus. I saw the magnitude of his bhakti towards his last guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar when he brought the Yogi from his samadhi to sit and chant his name with us in the privacy of Supramania Swami's kudil at Tiruvannamalai just some distance from the Yogi's ashram. If Supramania Swami had given me a Diksha mantra before we parted the very first time, he gave me the merits of all the years of his austerities or tavam as I parted with him on my second visit. He soon went into samadhi, passing away in the kudil that we built for him.

Tavayogi who made several visits to Malaysia after that groomed me into doing the homa and abhisegam besides passing on teachings and Yogic practices. Taking my family along in 2013 and later traveling with the AVM family in 2016, we were given the privilege to perform puja and conduct the yagam respectively at the Kallar ashram. This is the biggest recognition for a student from his guru.

Both my gurus in physical form have since left their mortal bodies. Equipped with these experiences, we began to sail the Nile with the Siddhas, with Agathiyar and the deities coming to guide further. True to what Ma said that the Siddha path was one of experience and learning and gaining wisdom or Gnana, when I look back over the years, I come to understand clearly that this is how it had been all this while. It is only one who has experienced the divine who can take the stage to talk about him. As Tirumular, Ramanujar, Ramalinga Adigal, Supramania Swami, Tavayogi and Rengarajar set out to share the bliss that they derived, that could not be contained and had to be spilled over to others, I too take delight in sharing whatever little experiences of mine with readers of this blog. Sharing my experiences through this blog, I encouraged many others on the path of devotion to take a spot on these pages and on my YouTube Channel http://youtube.com/c/ShanmugamAvadaiyappa too with the intent that it might induce and encourage others to explore the path by their own means and in their own good time. 

DRAWING ON EXPERIENCES 2

If it looks like I had shuddered and chickened out, stepping back and giving up on the numerous opportunities given to me to serve and give back to society by way of setting up a Peedham, or through the gift of healing others, or through reading the Nadi and guiding others, as mentioned earlier, I would like to state here that I gave up all these offers for him. I only wanted him. I feared that by accepting the gifts I shall be caught in the net of forever serving or carrying out these tasks, missing the very thing we came for - realization. Even if I were to withdraw from my assigned tasks the people would not allow me.

Agathiyar was not angry at me at having refused all his attractive offers. Neither did he coax me into accepting them. He drops the offer and moves on to the next the very moment I make my intention known to him. Refusing all his offers has today brought him to me. He has given him to me. What else can one ask for?

Now I am prepared to carry out his command for he and Lord Muruga tell me that I shall do things differently. I wondered how could one show Lord Muruga in a different light when he asked that I build a temple for him. I was pondering and questioning silently "Isn't the existing temples sufficient? Why do we need another?" when he replied that he was aware of that but I shall show him in a different light. As I did not make the move hence they have not entirely dropped the idea but have only shelved it, for the time being, I guess waiting for the right moment.

Wondering what he meant by "I shall do things differently" brought me to look back at all our doings and analyzing them. Then it all fell into place. We at ATM began to sing a large number of selections of songs in praise to the Gods and Goddesses and the Siddhas in the early years having compiled a compendium of songs running into 400 plus pages. We used to conduct the homam reciting the names of the Siddhas that ran into hundreds. We used to conduct libation or abhisegam for Agathiyar with as many as 16 items. These elaborate rituals undertaken by us and still carried out by many at numerous ashrams/temples/centers have dwindled to mere minutes for us. These days the homam is done only if and when necessary and the libation carried out with water. 

When others still go to print and distribute costly leaflets, pamphlets, and brochures that announced their events and solicit donations thinking as a businessman would, investing a small amount to gain multiple times, they forget that they spend a hefty amount on design and printing costs and go out seeking donations, a part of which is spent to replenish the money spent earlier for print. We prefer to take to the social media and safe costs, diverting the cost of print to the very event without soliciting donations from others. As Agathiyar has told us to walk tall and with pride, we have moved away from the traditional and conventional old school of thought and took to modern-day technology. When some told me to take to print my numerous books I decided that it would cost a fortune to print, distribute and market them. I took to the net and offered them as a pdf file free of charge and of course without incurring any cost on my part.

We have dropped our dependancy on the Nadi for the latest updates as the divine chosed to speak to us directly through other devotees. 

Agathiyar has given me the courage to experiment and modify the means and the ways often endorsing our moves or preferring to remain quiet. 

Agathiyar continues to carry out his Siddhis as he told us it shall go on for some time. We brace ourselves to more interesting and amazing miracles to take place around us. Stay with us.

DRAWING ON EXPERIENCES 1

Drawn by a love for the Gods and Goddesses of the Hindu pantheon I used to pray and worship at home and in the temples as a child. My family would make a joke out of my innocent act of turning towards my home and lifting my arms in prayer as I departed my home for school each day. It never struck me why I did that till now. Could my home in my hometown than be a temple as Agathiyar tells me my present home too is?

As I grew up, I enrolled in a correspondence course in Christianity, receiving material from the Church based in Singapore that I read, answered and returned. My friends and I read the Thevaram from a Sri Lankan man who taught us at his home. I took up classes conducted at the Buddhist temple next door, listening to the many interesting parables and stories from Buddha's life with awe and wonder.

Taking the bus as early as 5 in the morning to reach the Polytechnic I studied in, which was an hour's drive away, and walking a further half an hour, I used to be accompanied by a gardener of Pakistan origin who kept the college grounds tidy and neat. Enroute he used to share and brought me the marvels of the Islamic age and religion.

Finding ways to kill my boredom in the small coastal town of Lumut in the '80s, I took up to reading spiritual books and frequenting the temples in the locality besides engaging in fierce worship both at dawn and dusk each day. All these came to a stop when Lord Shiva came in a dream and told me to shelf all the doubts and questions I had. I saw that the suffering of the people around me and the written word in the scriptures that God was all-forgiving and compassionate, did not tally in real life. Staying with the Malays I discovered a very cultured race and envied them.

I was very conveniently transferred out of that sleepy town then to the bustling capital city of Kuala Lumpur where I remained cooped up in a tiny room with my Malay colleague. 14 years went by as I moved out of that small apartment and rented a home closer to my new place of work, ushered in my new wife and raised my first child. Blessed to own my own home, we moved into our present home across the city. Yet I stayed away from all worship and reading. With the coming of my other daughter, I began to frequent the temples again at least for their sake.

I was acquainted with the late Dr. Krishnan, consulting him for astrology and Siddha medicine. I was enlightened by the dear Dr. that curses could interfere with one's blessings, preventing them from reaping the fruits of their efforts and resulting in the predictions failing to materialize.

Then my life took a huge leap forward with the coming of Agathiyar into my life through a strange and mysterious initiation, given through my nephew. A year later I was blessed to read my Kaanda Nadi and was told of the reasons why people suffered. I came to know about karma and the extent of curses. I was initiated into the worship of the Siddhas by the Nadi reader Sentilkumar when Agathiyar told me to come to his path. Dr. Krishnan most kindly initiated me through the phone as I sat in prayer at home giving me the mantra of Agathiyar to recite with a Yantra given earlier.

Seeking further information on the Siddhas I visited several popular establishments, existing in the name of Agathiyar. Traveling the path Agathiyar brought me to witness many turmoils in numerous establishments aligned with him and trouble brewing in societies and associations affiliated in his name. I saw from a save distance the problems in these and began to learn to keep my distance and analyze what went wrong. I took it as was a lesson for me so that I do not repeat them although I had no intention to start one. People who started with good intent to serve Agathiyar were distanced and dispersed to join or form other groups. It was a bitter pill to swallow. I saw and observed only to draw back and venture on my own, gathering information from books and the net. Then Agathiyar points me to Tavayogi asking me to get initiated again. With him accepting me into his fold, the earlier Nadi reading in its entire content in which Agathiyar told me to align with a Peedham in Malaysia was erased, saving me from getting attached to a body. These experiences brought me to refuse the gift of starting a Peedham/ashram/temple as offered by Agathiyar and Lord Murugan.

The day I saw Tavayogi at a local center for the first time, someone asks me what my problem was. I did not have any. I came to see and verify if it was indeed Tavayogi's pamphlet that I had kept with me for some three years on, given by Senthilkumar.  The man explained that people came to the path only when in trouble. Today I tend to agree with him too. Many came seeking Supramania Swami and Tavayogi for relief from their illness, disease, sufferings, troubles, worry, and problems including wanting a way to settle their accumulated debts. Many came to them for advice on dealings and business ventures including career and marriage. They accommodated one and all, giving them sound advice after revealing the causes and dishing out the remedies. Supramania Swami would chart their horoscopes and hand out talisman and other remedies. Tavayogi would listen intently and find a moment to inform them the reason for all suffering was Vinai or karma. If they were interested to know further and wanted to know ways and means to escape from the clutches of karma, he would tell them to come to prayer or worship. If they wanted to know who to pray to, he would only then mention, telling them to pray to the Siddhas.

This was what we too began to dissipate to those seeking solace and answers, learning from Tavayogi. But my involvement giving advice on their problems and pointing the way to others lead me into trouble with their family members. When I referred to Tavayogi on what went wrong he asked me why I got myself involved. He asked me to point to Agathiyar instead. This taught me to shut up. I learned my first lesson the hard way. This and other similar experiences brought me to refuse the gift of healing from the Siddhas.

Similarly, many came seeking the Nadi readers and Agathiyar and his Nadi for the same reasons. Some refused to believe what was told instead ridiculed the Nadi. Some failed to carry out what was told and turned a deaf ear. For some, when the results did not show as they had wished for, they took their anger on the Nadi reader, Nadi, and the Siddhas. Many took his word as Gospel, including me and carried out all his asking seeing results. These experiences made me refuse the gift of the Nadi that Agathiyar wanted to present to be used for myself and the benefit of others too.

All that I saw and experienced taught me lessons in life and made me wiser regarding my choices and asking in life. I fear to ask these days for it shall be granted. Then we have to bear the burden and responsibility of it till the last day. I would rather refrain from asking and refuse what is offered too and be at peace with myself.