On the Path of the Buddha

LIVING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT

Whenever my granddaughter drops by or I am at their home, she would spread her toys on the floor and asks me to sit with her. She would go about playing with her toys and occasionally asks for some help if the need arises. She will teach me and asks that I join her in her games. I try to put aside whatever I am doing then when she comes to me. We then spend some precious moments in each other's company. She was unknowingly giving me lessons in staying in the moment.

Flipping through Yu Dan's book "Confucius from the Heart", Pan Books, I was surprised to read the following that describes what my granddaughter and I do. Yu Dan writes about the story of a king who had three questions. 

1. Who is the most important person in this world?

2. What is the most important thing?

3. When is the most important time to do things?

No one from his court could give him answers to these three questions. Disheartened he went out into the countryside. He took shelter in the house of an old man as night fell. In the middle of the night, a man covered in blood asks to take refuge in the home of the old man. He took him in without asking any questions. When the king's soldiers came by and inquired if the old man had seen anyone come by, the old man replied "I don't know. There is nobody else here."

Once the soldiers left the man said a few words of gratitude and left too. 

The next day, the king inquired of the old man if he was not afraid to harbor a fugitive and why he did not asks who he was and what he had done. The old man replied calmly,

In this world, the most important person is the person in front of you who needs your help,

the most important thing is to help them, and

the most important time is right now! you cant delay not even an instant.

The king got the answers to his much-deliberated questions.

The people, the place and the event at any particular time are most important. If you are a tourist or at an event savor the scenery or the moment rather then trying to capture them on camera. You shall miss out on the moment. Pay attention to the people, the matter on hand rather than making ourselves only physically present and have our thoughts engaged elsewhere. Give full and complete priority to the people and tasks on hand, rather than fondling the phone.

My granddaughter would ask me to join her in spinning and going round and round, which I understood later was an act of activating the chakras. She would dance, jump or go into simple yoga positions. She in return will join me in meditation, although just a few minutes. She joins us in preparing for the puja where I get her to involve by asking her often what we were to do next or if we had missed out doing or placing something, doing libation or abhisegam or singing the praise of the Siddhas. Agathiyar tells us the reason he asks us to sing his praises is to bring us into the moment and shut out all thoughts, hence creating one-pointedness and concentration on the tasks on hand, which itself is meditation. The rituals and the preparations towards it too help bring us to a state of contemplation, where all other thoughts are shut out. All these help us live in the present moment.

This is what Agathiyar, Ma and Aiya have been reminding us too. To take life in its stride, learn the lessons from the experiences gained and move on, sharing them with those keen to know and follow. These experiences will become knowledge and wisdom to others. Just like Agathiyar, Ma, Aiya and the abbot at the monastery in the movie Shaolin tell us that we are here to gain lessons from our experiences, mostly sought and desired by us and many others given or brought upon us as a result of others in our lives, Yu Dan too writes,

What is most significant about people like Confucious or any of the great thinkers from China and abroad, past and present is that they drew from their own practical experiences of life, truths and principles that everybody can use. These truths are not found in the pages of massive volumes of the classics and ancient records, the kind you need a magnifying glass and an enormous dictionary to read and that will take you a lifetimes laborious study to understand. They have passed down to us their living, breathing experience of human life through all the great sweeping changes the world has gone through so that we can still feel its warmth. From a thousand years ago they are smiling down on us watching us in silence as we continue to reap the benefits of their words. 

These words exactly describe the compassion of the Siddhas too who have given us tons of literature and documentation of their experiences, as Siddha Vaidyar Arivan says, expressed explicitly in songs to those who can comprehend them. Agathiyar tells us to understand and comprehend their works. He asks us not to study translations but to read their original texts. Soon the author of the work, in this case, the Siddha concern will enlighten us from within on the nature and meaning of their songs.

From the movie Lucy we gain valuable insight as to the importance of gaining knowledge, experience and the lessons that come with it. When Lucy calls Professor Norman to tell him that his theory on the use of the brain capacity although rudimentary, but he was on the right track, as she was prove of it, the Professor fills her in.

"If you think about the very nature of life, I mean, from the very beginning, the development of the first cell that divided into two cells. The sole purpose of life has been to pass on what was learned. There was no higher purpose. So if you're asking me what to do with all this knowledge you're accumulating, I'd say pass it on. Just like any simple cell going through time." (Source: https://www.scripts.com/script/lucy_1276)

For those keen to decipher the secrets of life, we are asked to move within. Before contemplating meditating though, we are required to cleanse the inside, both mental and physical. Agathiyar has had us cleanse the body and its inside first before venturing further. It would be a faster and far less intimidating process if we have been adopting a vegetarian diet for some years. The journey within is true wisdom or Jnana says Agathiyar. Attaining Jnana is akin to becoming a bright star in the massive night sky. I remember the lone sadhu Sri Dayananda whom Tavayogi brought me to see on our rounds of visiting living gurus. Initially refusing to be photographed, later he allowed me a single shot. He told me the next time I come around he shall be a star amongst the others in the sky. We have come to realize the same as we watch Ramalinga Adigal who had overcome the laws of nature, the pull of gravity and all its related forces, etc find it hard to have his feet on the ground, and we have to hold on tight to him lest he is spirited away. Elsewhere we come to learn from the Isha Foundation that the anklet serves as a shackle to anchor saints to their bodies, who otherwise shall leave the face of the earth.

As Agathiyar prepares us to go within, traversing the internal journey on the Siddha path, he gives us a hint of what to expect. Tavayogi wrote about this in his first book, Andamum Pindamum.

பூமியின் ஈர்ப்புச் சக்தியான மையப்பகுதியை கடந்து எந்த ஒரு பொருளோ புவி ஈர்ப்புத் தன்மைக்கு அப்பால் சென்றால் அது வெட்டவெளியில் சுதந்திரமாக மிதக்கிறது என்று விஞ்ஞானம் கூறுகிறது. அதேபோல் மனிதனும் தன்னை கீழ்நோக்கி இருக்கும் மூலாதார சக்தியை மேல் நோக்கிச் செலுத்தினால் பிண்டத்தின் ஈர்ப்புச் சக்தியை கடந்தால் மனிதனும் வெட்டவெளியில் சுதந்திரமாக இருக்கலாம். ஆனால் மனிதன் உடலில் இருக்கும் வரை மேல்நோக்கிப் பயணம் செய்ய முடியாது. ஆகவே பஞ்சபூத உடலை வேதியியல் மாற்றத்தால் மாற்றி மூல அணுவாக மாற்றி புவியீர்ப்புக் கோட்டை கடந்து வெட்டவெளியில் சேர்ந்து  சுதந்திரமாக  உலாவுவதே ஞானம் ஆகும். அதுவே சொரூப சித்தி எனப்படும். அதை போதிப்பதுதான் சித்தர் நெறி. பிரபஞ்சத்தின் சிறிய அணுவான மனிதன் மூல சக்தி என்கிற கயற்றின் நுனியைப் பிடித்து கொஞ்சம் கொஞ்சமாக பிரபஞ்ச பேராற்றலின் பரமாணுவை அடைந்து அதோடு ஐக்கியமாக முடியும் என்று கண்டுபிடித்தான். கண்டுபிடித்து அடைந்தவன் சித்தன். வெட்டவெளியில் ஜோதியாக இருப்பவனும் சித்தனே. வெட்டவெளி ஜோதியாவதே ஞானம். அதுவே பிரம்மரகசியம்.

Its translation:

Breaking its hold on gravity one is lost in weightlessness. Similarly, man too, traveling the chakras, and once he breaks the body's hold on him is freed. But unfortunately, the common man cannot travel the journey as long as he is a captive of the physical and material body. A transformation and transmutation within the depths of the body is required prior to venturing further on. The experiencing of this internal process that comes with the internal journey is Jnanam and Soruba Siddhi. The Siddha path leads to this experience. Man who himself is a lesser part of the bigger source through enhancing the spirit and the hidden power in him grabs the rope and makes his way little by little, to eventually merge with his source. 

CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR - THE REAL JOURNEY BEGINS

The line that Tavayogi and Gowri Arumugam wrote for the title song of Raagawave Production's Audio Cd album Agathiyar Geetham, "Yaarappa Nee Konjam Sollappa" comes to our lips when we recall the many amazing and astonishing miracles he performs. We are constantly asking him, "Who are you, please do tell us" for he keeps on dishing miracles upon miracles including bringing a fresh understanding of things.

When I made my maiden journey to India to carry out my parikaram or remedies meted out by him in the Nadi, he came mysteriously in several places to bless me, without any prior notice. When on my second pilgrimage this time with Tavayogi, he came again to perform miracles this time giving me prior notice through the Nadi. He added that after I returned home to Malaysia, the miracles shall continue. Indeed they have.

These days they come in a person to deliver their thoughts. Each day is a special day where we have a story to tell.

We do not deserve his grace in the very first place but he comes to us as a loving father, a loving mother, a loving guru and at times a stern one too. He comes as a companion too. We were never interested to research the medium through whom they came. Neither did we venture to know the what, how and why he came. We were only interested in his message. We adopted his message, advice, and guidance and executed them to the best of our ability. When we slipped or slackened behind, he comes to wake us up to the tasks given, with stern words. As the honeymoon years were over he means business these days. He has shunned the holidaymakers and is seen to be working on a small number of dedicated workers. We are blessed to be among them. 

After the demise of my two wonderful gurus, Agathiyar has come personally to guide us on. His entourage of Siddhas come too. He brings the Gods and Goddesses. But sadly we have yet to lay our eyes on them. We sense their presence though. We see miracles performed. They speak through others. Already this is all too much to absorb. When Dr. Nanjan, a veterinarian from Ooty who accompanied Tavayogi to Malaysia many years back told me of his blessed moment of seeing Agathiyar arise, tie his long hair and disappear from the prayer room of an elderly couple, I could not believe my ears as he could not believe his eyes too. Could that be possible I asked myself? Then Jnana Jhotiamma tells me she saw him at my home during her visit in 2013. This amazed us further as we have never seen him till this day. We were happy for her. Several years back, a friend who drives the Grab pickup service picked up a passenger, an Australian lady of Chinese origin, who was attending a seminar in Malaysia. As the conversation moved on to the Siddhas and as she was keen to visit AVM after my friend mentioned my place, he asks permission to bring her over. She came out of my prayer room in tears mentioning she saw Agathiyar standing ceiling height! We were happy for her too.

What we saw in the Bakti movies we are seeing happen around us. Watching the Chinese movie Shaolin made us realize many pertinent points that we could connect to. If the master taught his Shaolin students the skills as in kungfu he taught his cook jnana or internal wisdom.  He was to bring the seed over to new territories when his monastery falls into the hands of feuding warlords and is destroyed to the ground. Just as the abbot asks the cook which was more valuable, the gold or mud, between the students and the cook, the cook is a valuable asset to any organization, for he feeds the students who turn up very very hungry after a grueling day of training, from 9am to 9pm. He feeds the master who dispenses the skills and the teachings too. Hence the reason Ramalinga Adigal told my wife henceforth she need not engage in any further form of ritual, practice, or meditation but to just feed all devotees at AVM.

As Tavayogi told me that we should not run to Agathiyar for every minute thing, but rather use our brain or arivu to discern and act accordingly, in the movie Messiah, the messenger of God tells the minister its time to go, leave the Church and the town, the minister asks, "Go? Wait. Go where?" The Messiah gives him a piece of his mind, that is very relevant to us too.

"What is your purpose? Why did God give you this life to live now? God is speaking to all of us, Felix. Let him speak to you. You decide where we go." Very often we want God to make decisions on our behalf so that we can fall back on him in the event things go wrong or turn to him for support or a way out. The minister leads his family and all who have gathered at the Church grounds not knowing where to head, looking for signs from the Messiah. Finally, they end up at Washington Dc where then the Messiah performs the miracle, the feat of walking on water. I understood that God waits for us to lay the groundwork before he steps in or makes his appearance. We need to prepare for his arrival both physically and mentally before he comes. This we are seeing these days happen in our events and prayers. It is a totally new experience. We have opened our hearts and minds these days to all things possible, putting aside our logical mind and savoring the miraculous moments. Thank you for traveling with me.

CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR - A NEW JOURNEY BEGINS

When we left the hotel in Trichy where we had stayed for the night, Tavayogi turned around to me and said, "Only now the true journey begins!". The year was 2005. We were to head for Agasthiyampalli and on the way back to Kallar stopover at Kutralam, Tanjavur, Papanasam, Palani. I wondered why he said that? I had come to Agathiyar after a Nadi reading in 2002. I picked up ways to worship the Siddhas from numerous sources. Why was a journey taken with Tavayogi be different? 

In the film Shaolin, the abbot of the monastery asks his cook which is of value, gold or mud? The cook replies Gold. The master then tells him that "For the seed its the mud!" So it seems that everything has a purpose and use. There were many more brief but enlightening moments between the abbot and the cook. When in the presence of the Shaolin students who excelled, the cook saw himself only capable of cooking, the abbot tells him that cooking itself was a form of meditation. As feuding warlords fight to expand their power and territories, the cook is asked to lead the civilians to safety. Watching from afar a young boy laments that the monastery has been destroyed. The cook tells him, "It lives in you!" Although the structures have been brought down the teachings live in the hearts of students. He and the young students were the seed that was to spread Shaolin to others. So too it is with AVM. Although the group has been dissolved the teachings live in the hearts of a handful. 

As Suren and I talked about all that transpired over the past few months at AVM, he recalled the very first time he stepped into AVM. Only a handful of seekers of Agathiyar gathered then. Over the years it grew to quite a large group that we found difficult to accommodate in the small home of mine. Then as I struck the demolition lever on my smartphone and removed each name from the group, hence dissolving the group, Agathiyar comes to claim that it was all his doing, showing us the impermanence of things be they good or bad. But although the group does not exist we are still friends and devotees of Agathiyar and can still keep in touch over the phone. When Agathiyar indicated that we needed to go within now, I thought I should close the doors to my home too. But he has asked that I keep it open, for there are seekers yet to come. To those who come he tells me to bring them into meditation instead.

This made Suren and me realize that the earlier journey upon his arrival at AVM was one of an external journey. We took up the worship of the Siddhas at AVM that included performing rituals like lighting the Homa, bathing the deities, singing their praise, etc; bringing these rituals from my home at AVM into the homes of fellow devotees too; and extending them to the numerous temples that sanctioned and allowed us to conduct the Siddha puja in their premises. Many made regular pilgrimages to India and found themselves at the sites of worship of Agathiyar elsewhere too like in Cambodia, Indonesia, Singapore, Thailand, etc. Then the termination day came. The group was closed. But the handful who still frequent AVM has now taken on another journey, that of going within. We have come back one full circle and find ourselves at the starting point again, only this time, it is a journey of going within. He has got me to come one full circle too, bringing me to chant the very first initiation mantra received from Tavayogi but under different circumstances now and doing the Pranayama exercises he taught me in the early years of apprenticeship, bringing a new meaning to them now. This reminds me of Siddha Vaidyar Bhani who addressed us back then when I frequented other establishments linked with Agathiyar. He had quoted a song by Avvai and told us how its meaning differed to different people in different stages of evolution. As a child, he was told to stand before Lord Ganapathy and sing this song of praise to get his blessings. When he took up the study of Siddha medicine, his guru told him that the song had hidden references to numerous herbs and the means of preparation of a particular Siddha medicine. Coming to his spiritual guru now, Yogi Ramaiah, his guru told him that the song was entirely one that depicted Jnana in its highest state.

When I ask Agathiyar that I should take birth upon birth to serve him, he puts a question back to me, "Is that your desire?" I sensed immediately that it was not what we should ask for. He reminded me of Tavayogi too. When I told Tavayogi that I had a wish, that I should see both Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal, he replied casually that they would come but asks me if that is what I wanted? What mooted me to asks for more births to serve him was that I had no particular wishes or desires. Since each time he comes he asks what is it that we want, what would one then ask for? All the garlanding, the praises sung, the food laid before him, were all in the very first place given by him. We only source them from his entire creation. What is it that "I" have to give him, that I can proudly say was my creation from dust? Nothing. I am no creator. I have nothing to my credit. Even claiming that Body (Udal), Possesions (Porul), Spirit (Aaavi) was his, was a misnomer, for they too are given by him and he can snatch them from us anytime. Then I thought the only thing that I could safely say was mine was the choice to make an effort, for another can turn away and leave others to carry it out. So I told him I wanted to be forever in his service or Seva. But it seems that it was not "the thing" to asks for. Then I told him that it was only in taking birth that we could be of service to him and asked if there was another means to serving him without taking birth in this world? He remained quiet. I then told him if he was satisfied with the service I did to him in this birth, let it all come to an end. He told me he had to leave as his disciple had summoned him and left abruptly without answering. I suppose he chose not to answer that too, at least for now.

When devotees, seekers, and the public would sit before him and asks to read the Jeeva Nadi for a solution to their problems, Tavayogi chose to see them as mere issues, considered minute and petty, that can be solved by them if only they used their thought faculties or arivu sensibly. He would lament that no one came seeking for Jnana and the means and ways to achieve it. Talking over the phone with Mahin, similarly, I lamented just as Tavayogi did that no one asks for Jnana but were more concerned with day to day matters that they could figure out themselves and work a solution or seek professional help. I told Mahin that maybe we should asks for Jnana too as Tavayogi says, not knowing the least what Jnana meant or what we were asking for. The next time Agathiyar came he told me that "You had asked for Jnana", surprising me for how did he know about something I spoke to Mahin over the phone? He then surprised me further. Jnana was not something he could give but instead I had to work for it and work towards it. Agathiyar, Ma and Aiya had explained to us on their earlier visits that the Siddha path was one of gaining lessons, learning lessons through the many events and its related circumstances that provide a myriad of experiences and that till we learn lessons from these experiences we shall come back to relive again and again the same experiences. I have had the answer to my desired question, "So I told him I wanted to be forever in his service or Seva. I then told him if he was satisfied with the service I did to him in this birth, let it all come to an end" in the palm of my hands but never realized it till this moment where I am penning these words. Now I understand why he took off without answering then, for now, I understand that that act of serving him was completed, having gained the experience and lessons from it, we need not repeat that. We need new ventures and new experiences now. The abbot of the monastery in the movie Shaolin too tells his cook that life is all about gaining experiences. Once reluctant to leave the monastery to see the world, the cook is forced to leave, taking the young students and the villagers to safety now carried the seed across the troubled land to new frontiers.

The next time he came I was prepared, not caught off guard as the first time he posed the question as to what we wanted. I told him it was rather difficult since we sincerely do not know what to asks for fearing that the thing we ask for would be the wrong thing. I went on to asks him then to know the purpose of my taking birth and my journey. Although Agathiyar has spoken and revealed in his 5 tenets to taking a human birth at the Tamil Sangam, the purpose in all humans taking birth, I wanted to know what was my explicit reason and mission. He did not reveal it but asked me to find out for myself. He said that as we go within moving from one chakra to another, standing at the final seventh chakra it shall all dawn on us, the reason we took birth and our mission. I understood that whatever we do, prior to arriving there, is merely materialistic and of impermanence in nature. As Tavayogi told me "Only now the true journey begins!", our true mission shall then be revealed. 

CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR 4

If Tavayogi came to know about his past, being a regular patron of the Nadi, later he knew them through his meditation. Agathiyar came to him in the form of light, and he knew many secrets that very rarely would he share, giving us the reason that we should not beat one's drum in public or speak about our achievements, which I guess eventually leads to boosting one's ego and provides an avenue to create a following.

We too learned from the Nadi revelations, having being introduced to a Nadi reader by him, where Agathiyar without fail furnished us the mysteries of life and the Siddhas. I had been blessed with 61 such readings. These days they come through others, sitting with us to share their thoughts, advice and bless us. For instance, Ramalinga Adigal came to guide us on during the recent Maha Shivaratri which we observed too. He taught us a pranayama technique and told us to keep our spine erect and helped and guided us to bring the consciousness within. Shortly after he left Agathiyar came to bless us and told us to continue the abhisegam, pranayama and asana lessons and puja that we had lined up for after 12 midnight. We can never repay the kindness of our gurus in lending us a hand when the need arises.

At https://isha.sadhguru.org/mahashivratri/significance-of-mahashivratri/ we are enlightened about the significance of Maha Shivaratri.

On this night, the northern hemisphere of the planet is positioned in such a way that there is a natural upsurge of energy in a human being. This is a day when nature is pushing one towards one’s spiritual peak. It is to make use of this, that in this tradition, we established a certain festival which is nightlong. To allow this natural upsurge of energies to find their way,one of the fundamentals of this nightlong festival is to ensure that you remain awake with your spine vertical throughout the night.

I take pride to talk about this, not with the intention to implicate we are the chosen ones but by sharing, bring others too to the fold where they can come to know about themselves, their mission, and about their souls. To those who are skeptical as to, if and how these are all possible, they would have to take the journey just as we did. Erai can only be known through experience. No amount of reading or listening shall replace the experience, though reading and listening to another's experience can bring us to want to start the journey or to know more. So when one doctor wanted to put me on the O.T and dissect my experiences, I told him not to use me as a laboratory specimen but to come to the path and follow whatever regime given to us and told to do. He can then know for himself. He never came. As Anthony Moore wrote in his blog https://medium.com/the-mission/the-truth-is-it-doesnt-matter-how-many-self-help-articles-you-read-2b7b6fac3bb1,

The truth is, it doesn’t matter: how many self-help books you read. how many TedTalks you watch. if you hire a life coach. how many online courses you buy.
The one ingredient that matters…the only factor with enough substance to actually make a lasting change…Is a firm, unbreakable decision.

He quotes - Jim Collins, from Good to Great, “Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness, it turns out, is largely a matter of conscious choice.”

When Lord Muruga told me that I shall do things differently I went back to the drawing board and analyzed what were those. Today I can safely say that the differences were in the understanding and undertaking of his teachings and tasks given respectively.  

CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR 3

If Agathiyar had me unknowingly meet my first guru Supramania Swami on the pretext of having my daughter's horoscope drawn up, he had me unknowingly stand before Thangarasan, waiting to verify a document. The name Thangarasan was mentioned to me via a leaflet given to me by Sentilkumar after he had read my Nadi for the very first time in 2002. I had kept the leaflet with me. So in 2005, when I saw adverts mentioning Thangarasan was in Malaysia to officiate an Agathiyar Peedham, I called up the number advertised to make an appointment to see him. I soon found myself standing at the door to his local affiliate in Batu Caves. He ushered me into the adjacent room and we both sat on the carpeted floor of the meditation hall. I took out the leaflet and asked him to verify if the name listed on it Thai Veedu Thangarasan MA was his. He told me it was him. He spoke about the leaflet sourcing donations towards building a temple for Agathiyar in Kallar. He went on to speak about the activities at his present ashram. As I told him Agathiyar had asks that I come to their path, before we parted, he told me that he would initiate me that evening. By evening a bond was cemented between the Guru and his disciple, with him initiating me and my wife.

As Tavayogi had invited me over to his ashram, Agathiyar worked on this invitation and expeditated my travel to India for the second time, within a month of Tavayogi returning home. I soon saw myself now standing at the door to his ashram in Kallar. He ushered me with open arms. My yearning to meet Agathiyar and know his teachings began immediately as we journeyed to the samadhis, caves, and temples acquainted with Agathiyar and the Siddhas. These included Agathiyar’s temple at the Agneepureeswarar temple in Agasthiyampalli; Karuvurar’s temple at the Breehadeshwarar temple in Tanjore; Punakeeswarar’s samadhi at Chennimalai, Kovai; Sivavakiyar’s samadhi inside the temple at Sivanmalai, Kovai; Konganar’s cave at the hills of Uthiyore in Kanganam, Kovai; Agathiyar’s cave in the hills of Courtalam; Ramalinga Adigal’s cave and Dhakshanamurthi’s cave also in the hills of Courtalam; Agathiyar’s temple at Kutraleshwarar temple in Courtalam; Agathiyar’s temple at the Agathiyar’s Fall in the Pothigai hills, and Bhogar’s samadhi at Palani. I was shown the life of a Siddha; I was taken on early morning walks; we bathe in the nearby stream that had its source in the mineral and herb-rich mountains of Ooty; I was shown how to conduct prayers to the Siddhas; I was given an opportunity to do charity and feed the poor, and was given another initiation.

The morning after my arrival, as he invited me on his morning walk, he turned to me to say that Agathiyar came the night before. I was stunned and remained quiet. He continued. Agathiyar had asked him what he was going to give me. Tavayogi in his usual manner put the question back to him. Agathiyar replied that he will let him know. The conversation ended there. 

Tavayogi did not have me sit in front of him and preach to me; rather I had to observe and learn from him. I was given an opportunity to watch how he lived. I saw the humbleness in him; the kindness in him; and the simplicity with which he lived. He was not stressed out and often asked me to remain so. He must have guessed that I freaked out under stress. He asked me to be very patient when facing difficult times and circumstances. He asked me to be very patient with people too. He reminded me to remain calm in the face of problems and danger. 

He used to sit and entertain all those who came to him. To those who came with problems he did not duel into the problems trying to find ways and suggests means to overcome it but instead asked that they pray to the Siddhas to help clear these problems. He avoided taking on the karma of people. Tavayogi was not one who easily parts with the intricate workings of the spiritual world. He preaches the basics of the Siddha path to the masses. He once told me I had to wait 12 years before he would part with this knowledge. 

When Tavayogi visited Malaysia again, he fine-tuned the ritual of lighting the sacrificial fire or homa that he had initiated I do in my home. He taught me Pranayama and Asanas, which Agathiyar tells me in the Nadi, is to be treasured, cherished and put into practice. I did as told with sincerity and discipline. My yearning to know the man and his teachings was fulfilled with the coming of Tavayogi into my life.

On my visit to Kallar again in 2013 with my family, he engaged Silambarasan, Prabakaran, and Karthick to accompany us up the Kallar hill behind his ashram. He had installed a granite statue of Agathiyar in the woods. It was the spot where Agathiyar came to him in the form of light. My question as to how Agathiyar came to him in 2005 was answered.

In recent years Agathiyar came in the form of the Jeeva Nadi and addressed those who sought to read the Nadi at Kallar ashram. These days in the absence of Tavayogi, his faithful disciple turned patron of Kallar Ashram, Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar reads it.

Agathiyar after inviting me to his path, brought two wonderful gurus into my life. Now armed with a double-barrelled gun, I took on my spiritual journey. Supramania Swami lighted the spark of devotion to the Guru or Guru Bhakti while Tavayogi brought me on a journey following the Siddha path. Agathiyar guided me by continually giving me messages through his Aasi Nadi readings whenever he had something to tell me, besides my interaction with and communication, and guidance from my two gurus. If our source of guidance was his Nadi readings and my Gurus and the Upagurus he sent, these days he comes through devotees to guide and apprehend us, if need be, directly. To each one he puts a question "What do you want?" As I am asked to sit with him to note the conversation he has with others, although I dread to invade into the privacy of others, I cannot but observe that they all ask for their immediate problems or illness to end. I realized that as Tavayogi once said, no one asks for Jnana. Everyone who came for a reading or to meet him, wanted solutions to their daily affairs that Tavayogi says can be solved with a little bit of thinking or by using their common sense or Arivu. So when it came to my turn and he asks what I wanted, I did not have anything personal to asks of him. I recalled all the blessings he has given me. And so I told him that I wished to be born again and again and serve him in all those births. He then asks me if that is what I wanted? I started to think if I had asked the right thing. He reminded me of Tavayogi. When I told Tavayogi that I had a desire to see Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal, he told me they will come easily and went on to question me if that is what I wanted? Do all these Siddhas share the same genes and DNA and come with the same script, I asked myself? I shared this message with a close buddy, over the phone, telling him that we should henceforth ask for Gnana, that which Tavayogi lamented people fail to ask. So when Agathiyar came another day, he told me that I had asked for Gnana. Now how did he know about my conversation with my buddy our the phone? He went on to explain about Gnana and the means to attain it.

Yogi Ramsuratkumar says wonderfully of the guru and his pivotal role in reversing the disciple's life.

“All your tapas and efforts would make you reach Guru’s Feet. Thereafter you need not bother about your spiritual growth. The Guru will take care of you. The Guru will see that you reach God. Even if you want to escape from the Guru, the Guru will not leave you. Like a frog in the mouth of a King Cobra, the disciple cannot escape from Guru. The only thing the disciple should do is remember the Guru and the Guru Mantra all the time. That is sufficient. Do not try to practice any method to reach God. Remember your Guru. That’s enough. Once you reach your Guru your sadhana efforts end here. Listen to your Guru and have faith in our Guru. Your Guru would take the responsibility of you and take you where you ought to reach. After reaching Guru’s feet, you need not worry about your spiritual growth. Just remember my Name. That is enough.” - Yogi

“The King Bee would bring any potential worm to its nest and would sting all the time till it becomes another King Bee. Likewise a Guru also works on his disciples till the disciples get the state of the Guru. The process is painful but there is no escape.” – Yogi

“The place where a Master dwells becomes an ashram but no ashram can produce a Master.” - Yogi

Such meaningful words. We are experiencing them day by day. Agathiyar these days is preparing us to go within. Several weeks ago we were given the Agathiyar Kuzhambu prepared by Siddha practitioner Arivan Aiya to consume that Agathiyar says helped regulate the three dosas, Vata, Kapha, and Pitta. Several days ago he places me in isolation and gets me to carry out a daily cleansing regime. He asked that I resume several of the Pranayama techniques that Tavayogi had taught me and that I had practiced earlier, which were put to rests when I succumbed to extreme lower back pain. In 2011 Agathiyar told me to stop all forms of practice, when I suffered extreme pain in my lower back for some 2 1/2 years. Agathiyar came through the Nadi and advised me on caring for my back, recommending specific herbs to be taken. When the pain recurred in 2016, Tavayogi passed me a herbal preparation to soothe the pain. When it still persists as we moved on to the following year, Dhavanthiri came through a devotee and applied the sacred ash and advised on other measures to be taken. Finally, in 2018, Lord Muruga came through a devotee and the Nadi simultaneously to heal my back for good with his peacock feathers and the chanting of the Arutperunjhoti mantra.

Starting me back on Tavayogi's pranayama and techniques to go within, he came back to check on me if I was doing it. When I told him I was finding difficulty in going in, in calming my mind, he then asks if I was taking the magic portion that cleanses the body. To that, I answered that it was a bitter pill to swallow, he strictly told me to do it, no more giving excuses. I kept quiet and am following to this day. I am now seeing its effects. I am grateful to him for being lenient in many matters and stern in others. If it will do us good, he wants it to be carried out, otherwise, he leaves us to decide or follow. If it serves humanity he puts his foot down firmly and expects us to toe the line. 

Before coming to Agathiyar, when I was engaged in ferocious devotion, doing puja at dawn and dusk and entering into discussions about all things read, the scorecard did not tally as I observed the supposedly compassionate God did not show mercy on his subjects. I was confused to the end that Lord Siva had to come in a dream and asks me to quit asking questions, or rather keep it for a later date. It was 14 years later that I resumed all the things that I had dropped following his advice. After coming to Agathiyar I had the answers. He spoke about karma. Ruzbeh N Bharucha in his blog sums it all up at https://www.speakingtree.in/blog/the-master-s-grace

Yes, the laws of karma are rigid and the cards are dealt without emotion. What one has sowed, one shall reap. The experience shall be gone through. There is no escaping this fact. And yet throughout the ages, through time, Sages, mystics, Sufis, the Holy Scriptures, all proclaim that The Master is Merciful. On one hand we have the unyielding laws of cause and effect. On the other hand we have the mercy and tenderness of The Master.

When I put forward my wish to him that he should take care of the prapanjam or matrix and all live on it, Agathiyar told us that all of prapanjam or the matrix moves accordingly to karma and the effort placed to battle it. Likewise, everything is in a fluid state, that continually deforms (flows) under applied shear stress or external force, flowing along well until it faces an obstruction when it finds another path. If we can adapt the properties of fluids such as not resisting permanent deformation, resisting only relative rates of deformation in a dissipative, frictional manner, and the ability to flow (also described as the ability to take on the shape of the container)1 all shall be well. Nature teaches us well if only we take some time to observe it. But humans tend to resist everything. So a concerted effort is needed to undo his doings. As Lao Tzu says "Go with the flow" I have to keep reminding myself to refrain from resisting too. God help me.

1. Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluid

CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR 2

Completing what was directed in the Nadi by Agathiyar, I returned home overflowing with bliss that followed me for several months until the daily routine of work and life began to overshadow and drive the bliss within. But how could going on a pilgrimage, praying and worshiping specific Gods and Goddesses, donating towards the priestly class and feeding the hungry, the poor and the animals help in reversing our karma, I asked myself? Even if I did not have the answers then, I had carried out all that was told to me in the Nadi. But there was no way to confirm if what I did satisfied Agathiyar then or if I had done them properly as ordained. Since he told me to come back for reading some three years later after my first reading, I left if as it is.

Meanwhile, I continued worship to the Siddhas and reading up about them. I established correspondence by snail mail and communicated through STD calls with Supramania Swami. He had cherished a 40-year wish. He wanted to build a temple. When my nephew paid a visit to him on my requests, Swami had mentioned that he wanted to build a temple for Lord Murugan in his village Nachaananthal. Later during my correspondence through letters with Swami, he told me he wanted to build the temple in Tiruvannamalai instead. Giving the green light to go ahead, Swami scouted for a piece of land near his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar’s Ashram while I gathered the funds required for the purchase of the land and the costs of construction of the temple.

Swami was delirious when he announced to me over the phone that the land was purchased and that work on the temple could start soon. Swami together with his family used to monitor the ground works by day and return to the village at night. Then I suggested that Swami build accommodation for himself and move into it while working on the temple. Therefore, Swami put up a 11 feet by 30 feet kudil on the piece of land while work was going on. One day, when Swami was alone in his kudil, a stranger appeared at the cross road in front of Swami’s kudil and called him over. He asked Swami why he (Swami) who was on the path of Wisdom (Gnana) was now stepping back onto the path of Devotion (Bakti). His question made Swami realize that this was no ordinary man. Swami realized there was a message conveyed to him and immediately decided to stop further construction of the temple.

Supramania Swami had one work to his credit which he passed on to me and I had published online. It is available at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CVfxHLPiZmBCiV66B0Z2FLnvrIMQu9qc/view?usp=sharing

Besides the 5 divine hours, I spent with him on first meeting him in 2003, I only saw him again in 2005. But we used to communicate through the post and STD calls until these calls became more regular when I bought him a cell phone. Swami would ask me if I was doing tavam and meditating. As I was slow to reply since I could not bring myself to meditate however much I tried, he told me to do it. Supramania Swami told me my tavam would raise him to a higher state. He also told me that he would come through the light of the lamp that we lit at home. I could not comprehend his words then. Today I understand to a certain extent the significance of rituals, worship and lighting the lamp.

From the revelations in the late Hanumathdasan Aiya's Nadi readings as revealed by Agathiyar we understand that the Siddhas till this day conduct libation or abhisegam to Lord Shiva with 16 items of libation. Just as the hierarchy in the Indian pantheon of Gods and Goddesses is known to worship someone higher than them, Supramania Swami had told me my tavam would raise him to a higher state. Similarly Supramania Swami sat looking at the abhisegam performed to the Shivalinga that graced the samadhi of his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar, when I accompanied him in 2005. What was he watching? Was he watching his guru being bathe in the holy ceremony that was done on Pradosham that day? Hence I understood the reason for Agathiyar to come in the form of a statue and have us conduct it too.

Agathiyar told me that they listened to our plea and performed a Yagam so that Tavayogi shall live. They lit the sacrificial fire or Yagam when we pleaded to Agathiyar to save Tavayogi who was taken ill. Returning to his ashram and having settled all outstanding matters, including passing on the skill and divine knowledge of reading the Jeeva Nadi to Mataji, Tavayogi was ready and willing to leave his mortal form this time. When he was readmitted to the hospital, he called me to say that in the event he did not return to the ashram, Mataji shall manage the institution. I remained silent, stunned by his words. Noticing the prolonged silence Tavayogi bid farewell and hung up. We too did not want to stop or interfere with his soul's wish this time. He soon passed away.

Tavayogi started conducting the Yagam on full moon days in his ashram. Soon he celebrated the Annual Festival or Vizha that soon switched to in celebration of Agathiyar's Jayanthi and Guru Puja. Initially, he used to invite the public and devotees to sit and light their own fire bringing the total of Yagam pits to 108. As it was an extensive and costly affair and due to constraints in manpower to prepare the site and Yaga Kundam, prepare the wood and herbs that went into the sacrificial fire,  to monitor, guide and advise the devotees it was dropped and a single large Yagam maintained throughout the later years. When he initiated the Yagam at his ashram grounds, he told me to carry out a similar fest simultaneously. I did light a homam, a smaller version of the Yagam and conducted the festivities on a smaller scale. This is kept alive till this day at both venues. The reason he started to conduct Yagams was to smoother the wreath of Mother Nature who came down on us hard in 2004 in the form of the mighty waves Tsunami and the unpredictable weather that played havoc in many countries. Agathiyar then told me that the Homam I did was not for my individual personal benefit but for the good of the prapanjam or matrix.

What was the significance of lighting a lamp? All temples are lit the traditional way, at least the inner chambers or sanctum, although we have electricity today in most areas. The lamp and its ensuing flame play a major role in all our rituals too. The Yagam or its smaller version, the Homam and the very basic ritual of lighting camphor tablets ignite flames and emit light. It is said that the deities receive our offerings through this fire. The fire consumes the body at the funeral pyre too. And fire is used to cook food and keep wild animals away too.

When a cousin of my colleague went to pee after drowning a few glasses of liquor, he brought back someone from the other world. As the others made a dash for it, leaving my friend alone, the one in him now directed my friend to bring him to a temple some distance away. He directed my friend all the way, continuously pointing towards the temple and to the light that was supposedly lit in the temple. Driving him along, my friend had to remind him that the road has bends, corners, and junctions and they could not possibly run through all those and head straight for the light in a straight line. Once at the temple he asked to light the camphor and told my friend that he was entering the flame. Only after he left his cousin came back to his senses.

We are told to light an Aganda Deepam, a larger than usual lamp and flame these days. Tavayogi told me Agathiyar came to him in the form of light. Ramalinga Adigal brought his devotees to worship Erai in the form of light that he named Arutperunjhoti, leaving behind the worship of Erai with forms.

What did Supramania Swami imply by telling me that he would come through the light of the lamp that we lit at home? How could he travel from Tiruvannamalai and watch us through the light of the lit lamp? To understand what he meant we have to go back to his life story and his endeavors and austerities he performed.

Supramania Swami was born on 17 July 1943 on Kritigai Natchathiram, a Monday in the Tirutani Murugan temple grounds. His mother was taking a kavadi when she had labor pains and delivered Supramanian. She was blessed with a child in God's home ground.

Supramanian’s grandfather Thuraisamy Pillai, an accountant (Kanaku Pillai) at Tiruvannamalai Arunachaleswarer temple, was a Vaisnavite from Aadi Peedham, Ladavaram near Tiruvannamalai. Supramanian’s father Jayaram Pillai was teaching in Reddi Kuppam, Anaikoyil. His uncles were teachers too.

Supramanian’s father who worshipped Lord Vengadasalapathy gave him an initiation or teecha on Lord Murugan. Supramanian used to follow his father to the woods to chop down the kalli trees. That is when the sap of the tree blinded him. A partially blind Supramanian made his way to Madras (Chennai) hoping to receive treatment at the government hospital. A police officer realizing that Swami was blind and seeing him struggle alone on the streets of Madras called for an ambulance that took him to the hospital. There the local Indian doctors certified that he had to be operated on to remove his eyes. There was no other way to it; any delay would otherwise lead to the poison eventually reaching his brain. One of the doctors, however, sent for an American doctor to get a second opinion. The American doctor said he could save Supramanian’s eyesight and he subsequently performed six operations on Supramanian. The politician MU Karunanidhi who was undergoing treatment for his illness at the hospital took up the cost of operating on Supramanian.

Later Supramanian moved to Thiruchendur where he made a livelihood selling flowers and garlands to support his mother and himself. He used to pull the temple chariot for seven consecutive years wearing sandals with nails on them. He put on the garb resembling Lord Murugan and took part in plays or dramas held at the temple grounds on festival days. After Supramanian was married at the age of 31, he started performing miracles or siddhis. As Ramana Maharishi says, “Just as a man who is drunk is not conscious whether his upper cloth is on his body or has slipped away from it, the jnani is hardly conscious of his body, and it makes no difference to him whether the body remains or has dropped off”, Supramanian too attired in only a banana tree bark, and in a similar state of mind, went about performing miracles and curing folks.  He would grab a handful of sand, which turned to sacred ash (Vibhuti), Kumkum, or Panjamirtham accordingly. This he gave to people, who were then cured of their ailments. It was during this period that he indicated to the locals to the site of a vel that was buried by a Siddha in the hills of Tiruvanamalai. He spent seventeen years atop Tiruvanamalai hill. Supramanian had no memory of what transpired during that period. He only heard about his antics after miraculously gaining his memory back through consuming food prepared by a mysterious woman stranger. Although he became a normal person after consuming the miracle food, his ability or sidhi of changing sand and earth to vibhuti prasadham continued for some time and stopped on its own after he had his second daughter.

Supramania Swami made his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar appear from his samadhi when we were chanting the Yogi's name. As we were alone in his kudil that evening of 2005, Swami invited me to prayers and picked up his rosary beads and began chanting the Yogi's name. As it was a simple chant I joined in too. Soon I heard a third voice join us in the chant. I wanted to ask Swami upon completion of the chant but forgot entirely. When I returned to his kudil several days later, after spending some time with Tavayogi at his ashram in Kallar, Swami asks me if I heard the voice? Only then did I recall the event. Swami coolly told me it was his guru who had joined us.

I remember vividly the last conversation I had with Supramania Swami over the phone before his samadhi. I could not get through to Supramania Swami for some time. That evening there was someone trying to call me on my phone numerous times. However, each time I answered the line went dead or disengaged. I then thought if it could be Swami trying to get through to me. When I called his phone, he answered. Finally, I managed to get in touch with him after a long absence. “I have not forgotten you,” he said. “How can I forget you; you have given me a place to stay, referring to the kudil that we had collectively built for him. He blessed me. Then he said, “I am seeing the Jhoti. At times, it stays on for half an hour. My time is nearing. Ask Ramesh (referring to the Nadi Guru I used to frequent) to see when my day will come so that I can send you word and you can be present.” I cried like a child.

He told me he wanted to start a fast of silence (Mauna Virutham) and would survive only on fruits and milk beginning on 31 January 2007 for a forty-eight day period. The day he chose to start the fast would be the eve of the day that Ramalinga Adigal became one with the light Arutperunjhoti.

I called Swami's number on 3 February 2007. Surprisingly Swami answered his phone. When I apologized for calling him and making him break his fast, he replied, “No harm done. I shall talk to you.” He told me he had started the fast on wheat porridge, chapatti, and milk since the last full moon day, 1 February 2007 and would end his fast on Pangguni Utiram day – a fast that would now last 60 days. He did not speak to anyone, only writing out on paper if required. But he made an exception for me. I realize now as I pen these words that that is the grace of the guru. He told me I am letting loose of my senses. He asks me to meditate and be focused. He asks that I gather some funds so that he could feed a thousand devotees when his fast ends on 1 April 2007. But he chose to leave earlier.

Supramania Swami went into samadhi at 10.20 am, on Wednesday, 7 February 2007, four days after I spoke to him, at his kudil in Tiruvannamalai. He was 65. When I was with him in 2005, he mentioned that his lifespan was only 65. Ramajayam tells me he found Swami’s diary after his samadhi. Strangely, Swami had written the exact date and time of his departure. This entry was dated 23 May 2005. He had also written down on how to attend to his body once he passes away. Although he did not have a following, mysteriously a Swamiji to whom Ramajayam served as a driver then in Tiruvannamalai sent twenty of his followers or sadhus from his movement to take care of Swami’s last rites. Supramania Swami was laid to rest the same day within eight hours of his passing away as requested by him (Swami). When I was with him in 2005, he had indicated the spot where he was to be buried at his kudil to me. That was his wish. I was saddened that he was laid to rest elsewhere. But it happens to be that although he had mentioned that he was to be laid to rest at the kudil, the Lord and his messengers decided to provide a better place of rest for their deserving disciple. Agathiyar, on 10 February 2007, told me in my Nadi reading that Swami had gone into Samadhi at the right moment; he had been laid at the right spot and that his samadhi shall gain fame.

On 24 July 2007, Agathiyar again mentions Supramania Swami telling me that he was the first guru I went searching for and that he was a true guru. Agathiyar asked that I chant Swami’s name and miracles shall take place in my home. Just as his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar appeared and chanted with us after going into samadhi, Supramania Swami too indicated his presence at my home after going into samadhi. This miracle took place at my home, just as Agathiyar had said. Although we could not see him, the signs that Supramania Swami appeared in my home were there. The day was 17 September 2007. It had been some time now that Supramania Swami went into samadhi. We had just completed our daily prayers for the evening. The smell of jasmine, sandalwood or sandanam, sacred ash or vibhuti, frankincense and other fragrances always lingers in my home during prayers. As I sat with my wife in the living room of our home that day after prayer, there was a distinct smell of tobacco in the room this time. The thought of Supramania Swami immediately came to my mind. Was Swami at my home in Malaysia?

Almost immediately, my handphone rang but stopped immediately. On picking up the phone there was a miss call from an earlier number that belonged to Supramania Swami! I knew that number was no more in use. Swami had taken up another number that was now used by his son after Swami’s samadhi. Nevertheless, I called the number a few days later. A man answered. He asked me who I was and to whom I wanted to talk to. I introduced myself and I asked if he had called me a couple of days before. However, he answered that he had not made any calls to Malaysia. Then I asked if Supramania Swami was around. He answered that he did not know of any Supramania Swami. I enquired about his location. He mentions it was Coimbatore. Then I ask if Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal was there. The reply was no and he did not know Tavayogi either.

Several days later, I called my nephew and explained what had transpired. Upon ending my call, I realized there was a miss call while I was on the phone with him. Again to my amazement, the same number appeared. I called Swami’s son, Ramajayam. He confirmed that the number his father used had been terminated. Later Agathiyar reveals in the Nadi that the miracle did take place indeed. Supramania Swami had come that day!

I have come to realize that God works in mysterious ways to fulfill his agenda. I am grateful to him for showing me Supramania Swami. I am forever grateful and indebted to Supramania Swami who opened my eyes to devotion (Bakti) towards God and Guru by his exemplary lifestyle.

CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR 1

My very first Nadi reading in 2002, brought me to have a conversation with Agathiyar, though it was one-way. Agathiyar spoke through the Nadi in Tamil that was out of use in present times, that was read and retold to me with explanations in simple basic day to day spoken Tamil, by trained professionals in their field. In the chapters of the Kaanda Nadi that I was advised to read by the Nadi reader Sentilkumar and another from the Gnana Kaandam that was suggested I read too, by Sivabalan who brought the reader in from India, Agathiyar spoke about me and my past birth, and the reason to take this birth. Knowing the reason and the causes he then listed out the panacea to soften if not entirely remove the imprints of my past actions that if left to germinate will determine my fate further. Agathiyar gave me an opportunity to rewrite my fate and together create a new destiny that day. But I had yet to know the man who addressed me in the Nadi, who knew me only too well that he could talk about my future, the present, and my past and even my past births. He told me to come back for another reading some three years later. I guess he wanted to see if I followed whatever he had mentioned in the reading first. 

I took heed of his advice and began working on the parikaram or remedies listed to be carried out in Malaysia and worked on my itinerary to carrying out the rest in India soon. It was only when I went for my very first Nadi reading, and when I was called to come to the path of his, the Siddha path, and after I took up his call that the interest to know about Agathiyar, the author of the said Nadi and the said path grew in me. While waiting to travel to India, I scouted around the existing establishments in the name of Agathiyar to get to know the man. But no one could show me to Agathiyar. They only showed me to their gurus and their activities and accomplishments. I continued on my lone and solo prayers in my home worshipping the Siddhas taking cue from watching Sentilkumar do a prayer Nadikku Dhanam or paying homage to the Nadi that was read to us, in my favour and on my behalf. With the small booklet from which he recited the names of the Siddhas that he passed on to me and the painting of Agathiyar that I bought from Sivabalan, my journey on the path of the Siddhas began with worship to them.

Several months after my first reading I stepped on the Indian soil, the birthplace of my father and our ancestors, for the very first time. Prior to seeing the Nadi, I had neither idea nor intention to go to India. I planned to go in December 2003 for the Kartigai Deepam festival but opted to go earlier. I finally left for India on 31 August 2003. I was to conduct atonement or parikaaram at Utamar Temple, Palur Sani Temple, and Tiru Aanaikaval Temple, all in Trichi. Besides that, I was asked to worship at the five elemental temples of Shiva, namely Kalahasti Temple in Andhra Pradesh, Egambareswarar Temple in Kanchipuram, Tillai Nadaraja Temple in Chidambaram, and Tiru Aanaikaval Temple in Trichi (already mentioned). I was also instructed to worship at Palani Murugan and Bhogar’s Temple. I was to circumambulate (girivalam) the sacred hill of Tiruvannamalai during a full moon. 

I could see his invisible hand and his magic in all thing beginning with switching the driver. Devendran told me later that another driver Raji was to fetch and accompany me throughout my journey in India but he had taken ill suddenly. I came to realize later that the switch was all for a purpose, for I was destined to meet my Guru and Devendran was to take me to meet him later. Dhaksanamurthi, my travel agent in Malaysia, was waiting for my arrival at the Sindoori Hotel in Chennai. He told me Vinayagar Chathurthi, the day I traveled to India, was an auspicious day to travel, as it was customary for Indians to plan travel on this day. Although I did not have any atonement to be done at Tirumalai Vengadesa Temple in Tirupathi, Andra Pradesh, Dhaksanamurthi had included it in the itinerary. Paying my respects to the Lord at Tirupathy, and stopping over to carry out my first parikaram at Kalahasteeswarer Temple in Kalahasti, I retreated for the night in a hotel in town. That night at the hotel, I suddenly felt alone. Here was I heeding Agathiyar’s words (in the Nadi). I had made this long pilgrimage, alone. But where was he? I was also disturbed. Had I to pay at each temple for entrance fees, parking fees, fees for special queues, etc.? Why did we need to pay to see the Gods, I questioned myself? Only then did I realize how easy it was to pray at the temples in Malaysia. It was absolutely free of charge. I was beginning to wonder whether this was how it was going to be for the rest of my journey? The thought did disturb me.

The next day, 2 September 2003, I visited the Kalahasteeswarer Temple again, this time alone. I was there from 6 am to 8 am not because I wanted but was detoured by an invisible hand. I came round the temple complex several times trying to look for the exit. After each unintended circumambulation of the temple complex, I end up at the only doorway which I told myself was not the one that I had entered through. Questioning the security guard he told me that this was the only doorway that served both as the entrance and the exit door to the temple complex. As I stepped out into the open, I realized I had indeed entered through this entrance and that I was disorientated and could not find my bearings back there. I wonder why the good Lord of Kalahasti got me to circumambulate him many times before letting me off?

Arriving at Tiritani, I was soon to find out at the end of my journey that my Guru was born on this temple grounds. At the Egambareswarar Temple, another of the Pancha Stalam that I was directed to perform parikaram, as the main sanctum was packed with people witnessing a ‘private prayer’ and as the atmosphere was extremely noisy, I decided to move away to see if I could do my parikaram elsewhere. As I came around the temple complex, I stopped at the entrance to a large chamber on my left, to take a look. I saw a huge and majestic statue of Lord Nadaraja within looking down on me. A young priest who stood at its entrance quickly ushered me into the chamber. He walked briskly ahead of me and lighted the camphor. As I stepped inside this magnificent chamber, I felt I had stepped into another world and plane; another space and time; an entirely different atmosphere, an entirely new feeling, something I had never felt before overcame me. I could feel a strong vibration come over me. Was I being shown a small sample of the bliss that is often mentioned by the Yogis and Gurus I wondered later? I stood in front of Lord Nadaraja, at close proximity, amazed, astonished and emotionally shaken up, tears pouring down the cheeks, and eventually, I broke into a loud cry as the young priest continued his chant as he showed the sacred flame or arati.  I had my Lord all to myself at that moment. Everything else stood still! Eventually, I became composed, thanked the priest and made my way out of that mesmerizing and eccentric chamber of Lord Nadaraja. Further down the corridor, an elderly couple invited me to sit and watch with them the bathing ritual or Abhisegam to Goddess Kaali. I sat with them to witness a private prayer or puja to Maa Kaali. I stayed long enough to witness Abhisegam performed on Lord Egambareswarar too.

Wednesday, 3 September, we left for Melmaruvathur Athi Parasakthi temple. Dhaksanamurthi included this temple in my tour since he had helped build this temple as a student in India. I arrived at the Sathya Gnana Sabai at Vadalore later, a place I had very much wanted to come to, after reading about its founder saint and Siddha, Ramalinga Adigal. But I was disappointed by the turn of events or rather it was uneventful in a sense. The priest came in at 11.45 am after a long wait. He opened a door to let himself inside and did not come out for a while. Then he emerged to open the huge timber door to the sanctum to expose a black curtain drawn closed. As the flame from the camphor was shown to this curtain, devotees gathered quickly to witness this brief ceremony. Some of them chanted the “Arutperunjhoti Mantra”. That was that. It was all over within minutes. There was neither interaction nor eye contact between the priest and the devotees. I whispered to a devotee Janaki Amma, who was singing the praises of the Lord from the Thiruarutpa by Ramalinga Adigal, that I intended to make a donation and she brought me to the administrative office. I was disappointed with the attitude of the official at the office. As we left the temple grounds, people crowded around the car asking for alms. I was again disappointed with the management and sad on seeing the fate of these people. I had so many questions go on in my mind as to why poverty was not eradicated; people were still seeking alms, and people were still left hungry. After so many years of existence of the Sathya Gnana Sabai, their fate had not changed.

I moved on to Sidhivalagam Thirumaligai in Mettukuppam. I stopped at Bhuvanagiri, the birthplace of Swami Raghavendra as my brother-in-law and sister who were staunched devotees of his, requested I try to visit the Swami’s home which was now a shrine. Unfortunately, the building was closed for renovation. Nevertheless, I managed to steal a peek of the image of the Swami through the grilled doorway. 

Arriving in Chidambaram, as the Tillai Nadaraja temple was closed for the afternoon, we adjourned to the Tillai Kali Temple, which was some distance away. On my return to Malaysia, I read in the net that one should visit the Kali Temple first before Tillai Nadaraja Temple which I had exactly done although unknowingly. Although I was disappointed at the behavior and attitude of the priests, with no other option, I conducted the prayers at the Adi Lingam sanctum as I had to offer a prayer here according to the Nadi. 

Sentilkumar, recommended that I include the Tiruvenkadu Temple in my tour of temples and instructed me on the Kriya to perform at this temple.

I arrived at the Suryanar Temple in Mayil Aduthurai in the scorching heat of the day, at exactly 12 noon. I had been advised against giving alms to the poor on this pilgrimage by my brother who had the bitter experience of having to ward off large groups of beggars who turned up once they see a foreigner or visitor giving donations. Shivabalan had particularly mentioned to me to be wary of beggars in the guise of sadhus especially at this temple. True enough there were many kavi or safron clothed men sitting at the entrance to the temple asking for alms. I made my way hastily into the temple grounds. After offering my prayers, and taking heed of their advice, I left the grounds of the temple hurriedly as the sand was burning my feet. A woman came after me calling out to me and asking for alms. She was followed by a disfigured man struggling to catch up with us. This couple, as if reading my mind, told me, “There are only two of us - please donate”. True enough no one was around on the immediate grounds of the temple. I dipped my hands into my pockets and handed whatever cash I had then to the woman who happily went away with her partner. Who could they possibly be?

We continued to Utamar Temple. Devendran went in to look for any priests who could assist in doing the attonement or parikaram at this temple as Agathiyar in the Nadi only mentioned that I donate to three Brahmin priests at this temple. Then as if God sent, Devendran appears with a priest willing to guide us at this temple and also to take us to the Tiru Anaikaval Shiva Temple too. The priest advised that we get to Tiru Aanaikaval Temple first, and fast too before, they closed for the lunch break, and to come back to Utamar Temple in the evening for the atonement here. 

It was 12 noon as we arrived at Tiru Anaikaval Temple. The priest from Utamar Temple who volunteered to guide us, advised me on the purchases to be made. To my surprise, he used his contacts at the temple to open doors that were already closed. He had Lord Vinayagar’s chambers opened for me. He called out to an elderly priest who was seated among others taking a break, and requested with a note of authority that he was to conduct the prayers at the main inner sanctum! I had the privilege to enter the main sanctum and be shown the Shivalingam which was partially submerged in water. After the elderly priest conducted the prayers, I fell at his feet for his blessing. As I picked myself up, I saw the priest from Utamar Temple, the temple caretaker, and Devendran too, picking themselves up, having followed my gesture in paying respects to him. The priest from Utamar Temple insisted the elderly priest should conduct the prayers at the Lord Dhaksanamurthi sanctum too. After the elderly priest left, I broke down at Lord Dhakshanamurthi’s sanctum. I cried for all the blessings that I had been shown until then. I suppose I must have cried aloud to the amazement of my newfound friends, for the caretaker of the temple tried to console me. I heard the priest from Utamar Temple say, “Let Him Be, Let Him Cry.” After a while, I picked myself up and we adjourned to feed the poor, a cow, and an elephant on the advice of the priest from Utamar Temple. I was literally pushed or shoved from one shrine to another, by this wonderful group of people, the elderly priest, the priests from Utamar Temple, the temple caretaker and Devendran, performing each prayer to the utmost satisfaction. Returning back to Utamar temple now, the priest whom we picked up at Utamar Temple insisted that I dropped him off at a location that he chose, telling us that he had errands to run. After dropping him off at his chosen spot, and handing him the first of three offerings I had to give away at Utamar Temple we drove off. I chanced to look back to realize that we had dropped him off at a Hanuman temple! Why there I wondered? 

I did not see him at Utamar Temple that evening when I was there completing the rest of my atonement! Why did he get down at the Hanuman temple? Who did come in the guise of the priest and showed me around? Was it Siddha Hanuman who accompanied me at Tiru Aanaikaval and with that much speed and velocity practically shoving me from one shrine to another? Who else but the son of Vayu could perform such a feat! 

As I arrived to get a Darshan and blessings of Rengaraja Desiga Swamigal, founder, and patron of the Sri Agathiar Sanmaarga Sangam, at Ongarakudil, Turaiyur, I was warmly ushered by the late Nadarajah. I had wanted to come here since I learned the worship of the Siddhas from the many literature and videos produced by this society, that I purchased from the local affiliate of theirs in Dengkil, Malaysia. I inquired if I could see the Swami. I was told he would be coming in a short while for the evening prayers at 6.30 pm and that I could see him then. While I waited, I was served tea. After a while, Nadaraja, told me Swami was coming down to meet a couple of businesspeople. I would be able to meet the Swami after they left. However, before I met Swami, Nadaraja showed me around the complex and briefed me about the extent of their services to humanity, as instructed by the Swami to all visitors. As he ended the tour of the office, kitchen, and stores and other related buildings, he gasped aloud to find that the two visitors had left as their car that they had traveled in was not there. He hurried me along to a building, praying that Swami should still be around to see me. To our joy, there was Swami seated alone on the floor in one corner of that small room. There was an aid standing at the doorway to another room. I entered the room and prostrated in front of Swami. Devendran followed too. Nadaraja introduced me to Swami. Swami talked cheerfully about Kuala Lumpur and enquired from Devendran about my arrangement to tour India. 

I never expected to have an audience with Swami one to one. I asked that he bless me. He did not reply. Nadaraja motioned me to speak louder, as he was short of hearing. Fearing he might not have heard me, I asked again. There was no reply. I asked him thrice. Finally, he replied that coming to Ongarakudil in itself was a blessing. I felt disappointed in his answer. I did not know how to receive his answer then. I told myself there could be many reasons for Swami not to bless me as did the other Gurus. I began to question myself if I was not worthy enough to receive his blessings. I had high regards for the Swami as his Nadi revelations, published by his organization, carried praises for the Swami from the Siddhas. He was said to be the Avatar of Ramalinga Adigal. He is said to be Lord Muruga and God reincarnated.

As Sri Ranganatha's main sanctum was just as crowded as Tirupathi and as I could not enter, I spent some time at the shrine for the Goddess where prayers were going on too. As I was about to get into the car and drive away from Sri Rangam a holy man of medium height with a long white beard and long hair that was tied up neatly and dressed in a clean white vesti, suddenly stood beside me as if materializing from out of nowhere. He was fair, merry, and cheerful too. He started blessing me, “You shall be fine”, speaking very fine English and Tamil. I bent to touch his feet, asked if he had eaten, and gave him a token before I bid farewell to him. Who could this be? 

At the Rock Fort where the Uchipillaiyaar Temple and Tayumana Swami Temple were located, the electricity supply was interrupted in certain portions of this Rock Fort Temple but I did not mind because it was an unusual experience, praying and moving around in the dark. 

I left for Palani a day earlier than scheduled. After praying at Tiru Avinankudi temple at the base of the hill, I started for the hill temple. After having taken only a few steps, I could not move my legs anymore. They were frozen. They were extremely heavy as if rooted to the ground. I forced myself to no avail. I had to use my hands to lift my legs and place them down, a step at a time. The heart was pumping hard. I was gasping for air. I had an adrenalin rush then. It made my heart beat faster, increasing blood flow to the brain and muscles, and stimulating the body to make sugar to use for fuel. I pushed myself determined to scale the hill. I had to break the climb though, stopping every few minutes. I eventually reached the top of the hill. On reaching the top, I was dizzy, drenched with sweat, the throat parched and dry, and I had to look for a place to drop my heavy and now exhausted torso. I just dropped my belongings and leaned against the wall of one of the stalls that were lined up. As I sat there, I was sweating profusely on the verge of fainting. The throat was extremely parched and dry. As I opened my eyes all was bright and white. I could hear the crowd and saw only silhouettes of people moving around. What had happened back then? I had no problem climbing the 272 steps at Batu Caves. Neither did I have a problem climbing the numerous steps in the Gua Tempurung Caves back home prior to this trip. So why did I have a tough time climbing Palani Hill? 

Having regained my composure after some time, I stood up to continued to Palani Murugan’s chambers. All I remember after that moment of exhaustion is that  I stood in line to have the Darshan of Lord Murugan. I do not remember seeing Lord Murugan. I cannot recount seeing the face or image of Lord Murugan here then and also on my second trip in 2005 and again in 2016. 

Coming to my senses I followed the crowd ahead of me, leaving the Lord’s chambers. As I stepped out of the chamber onto a corridor I then came upon another room immediately to my right and behind Lord Murugan's chamber. As I took a look inside, I saw four Brahmin priests in attendance. There was no one else in the room. Neither was there anyone ahead of me or behind me in the corridor. I enquired if it was Siddha Bhogar’s Samadhi and they nodded. I entered and stood in prayer while one of the priests showed the flame or arati. One of the priests, a young man, reached out for a tumbler on top of a closet in the room and handed it to me saying it was Abhisegam milk. I just took it in my hands and drank the milk. As I realized that I was the only one then in this chamber, I took the opportunity to sit for a while finding a place near the exit to the room. Upon opening my eyes, the priest who gave me the milk, held out some flowers and vibhuti in his hand. I took leave thanking him silently. Now, where did all the people in front of me and those behind me go? I came out of Siddha Bhogar’s chamber in a daze, not comprehending what had just happened back there. I walked and walked and kept walking around the temple grounds, still in a daze, but with a heart that was full, brimming with joy. Later on 19 August 2005, Agathiyar reveals what took place at Palani in the Nadi! 

8 September 2003, I had a day without any activity as we had covered all the places as planned. Therefore, Devendran suggested I visit my late father’s village Kilsevalpatti in Putukkottai - Shivagangai district. I found myself stepping on the ground where my father was born and grew up. Unfortunately, there was a funeral of a cousin of mine that day and I just enquired from an elderly relative about my father, his home and relatives before leaving.  For some reason I was not allowed to mend or meet up with my relatives in India.

According to the Nadi, I was to circumambulate the Arunachala hill on a full moon night. 9 September 2003, was a day of Girivalam. I joined the long queue to get another Darshan of the Lord before embarking on the Girivalam at 9.40 pm, and completing it at 6.30 am on 10 September. As I was told in the Nadi that I would meet up with my Guru in an unexpected way and in an unexpected place soon, I was hoping to come face to face with him on my pilgrimage of India. As it did not take place earlier, I thought I would meet my Guru at this holy event. When I did not meet him, I consoled myself that it may be another moment and another place or maybe back in Malaysia.

Just before I left Malaysia for India, my wife reminded me that we had not consulted an astrologer on the astrological chart for our second daughter. Since I was going to India, she asked me to look into it. Since I had the rest of the day to myself, I asked if Devendran knew any astrologer. He tells me his uncle was an astrologer and that he was staying nearby. Here is the reason for the switch in the driver fits in. I seized the opportunity to meet his uncle Supramania Swami and have my daughter's future forecast. We drove eight kilometers out of Tiruvannamalai to a small village Nachaananthal, to meet Devendran’s uncle. What I did not know then was that seeing Supramania Swami over an astrological chart was only a reason for me to meet my Guru in waiting.

As we drove up to his village home, a fragile old man walked up to our car. Devendran introduced me as a tourist from Malaysia who was there for his (my) daughter’s astrological chart reading. I mentioned my name to him but he just turned around and led us into his home and to his prayer room. He lighted the camphor and blessed me. He had Devendran place his deerskin on the floor outside his home. Had his son Ramajayam bring out all the almanacs or panjangam. I prepared myself to listen to the astrological revelation of my daughter’s future. However, what he did was to talk about my future and me. 

He mentioned that he had been going around Mount Tiruvannamalai on full moon days, for the past thirty years now, but could not do it the night before due to ill health. The miracle was that even though he was ill and unable to go on Girivalam that night, as I was destined to meet him, I was brought to his place of residence. 

He mentioned his masters. He had had five of them. They were his own father, Jayaraman Pillai, Pundi Mahan (Atru Swami), Sathanandha Swami of Salem (author of the Kandarguru Kavasam), Kolli Malai Swami and Yogi Ramsuratkumar (Visiri Swami). 

I was blessed to receive Guru Upadesam and a teecha Mantra to be recited. He asked that I chant the Mantra for half an hour each day reminding me, “Just as a silversmith polishes his wares we too shall slowly work on it till we achieve it.” 

As we sat together in the open air in that small home in a village known as Nachaananthal, oblivious to what was happening around us and the surrounding; unaware that many curious neighbors and kids had dropped by to view this ‘rare visitor’ from Malaysia, Supramania Swami revealed new happenings that were about to take place in my life. He could tell a number of intimate things about the life and mission I was to face. As he was narrating, I could not help but break down. I cried like a child. I cried for blessings I had received from God until that very moment. I realized how much God loved me then. As I kept on crying, Supramania Swami surprised me further with more predictions. I cried aloud again. 

When Devendran did mention to Swami that it took me nine hours compared to three hours for others to go around mount Tiruvannamalai, Swami replied, “Of course it would take that long for he (referring to me) had been stopping over at all the places of worship and ashrams.” Now how did he know that?

“Take him back with you”, was his parting words to me referring to Lord Annamalaiyar. As we left his home, he stood there, hands together in prayer for me. He was praying for my safe journey. I in return stood there with my palms in prayer to him too, not knowing what was appropriate for the moment. We left him as night fell over this small village known as Nachaananthal, having spent five blissful hours in his presence that day! Having completed my parikaram successfully with Agathiyar sending his proxies to facilitate my travels and the many agamas or rituals that I was supposed to carry out, he finally brought me to my very first Guru Supramania Swami. 

Thursday, 11 September, 6.30 am I walked to Annamalaiyar Temple to have his Darshan again. There was no crowd that morning. I took my time to pray and look around. As I came around the temple grounds, a woman was standing alone against the wall opposite Lord Egambareswarar’s sanctum. She indicated by hand gestures that she was hungry. I reached for my pocket and gave her money. Something prompted me to fall at her feet. As no one actually begs within the temple compound, I wondered who it was?

We went over to Ramana Maharishi’s ashram and Yogi Ramsuratkumar’s Samadhi. I realized that I had to meet his disciple Supramania Swami first before coming to him. On my Girivalam the night before, I returned to the original path after failing to find the Yogi's Samadhi in the dark, although many along the way pointed me directions. I went over to Kuberan Lingam at 11.30 pm as Supramania Swami instructed and left for Chennai to return home. I had planned to see a few more temples in Chennai but it was not important anymore. After Tiruvannamalai and the Darshan of Supramania Swami, nothing was important anymore.

TO ACCEPT OR DECLINE? SIMPLIFIED

After reading my response to her questions, my friend and comrade writes in her views, that clarify and simplify the subject further. I thank her for her valuable views and participation.

Wow aiya, what a masterful response, pure truthful knowledge, for my soul anyway. 

“Agathiyar says there is no right or wrong. Neither does he differentiate or endorse the right from the wrong. We only have choices. We only know if we had made the right choice after seeing the results or outcome of our selection. It is we who determine if an action is right or wrong after going through or gaining the experience and learning a lesson from it. We become wiser from learning the lesson. This becomes a lesson to others then. People seek us out for advice for we have been there, have had the experience.” 

Absolutely, I see this now.  Essentially every offer, opportunity or test is tailored for an individual for subjective experience.  We may fail after making a choice or conversely we may succeed after making a choice.  However we decide if we had failed or succeeded, not him.  All he does is provide an opportunity to learn from (therefore no right or wrong). Unfortunately we are human and enslaved by earth bound maya, materialism, societal and various other norms.  The problem arises when we measure our experiences against these norms; we are almost certain to perceive failure or a choice as having gone wrong.

What about us who are hale and healthy and are in a position to help others? Should we look upon the sufferings of the others as his/her karma that he/she has to live out or choose to see the divine in others and go the extra mile to assist or bring a change as in their lives hence serving humanity? But being humans the ego in us wants to go into action, doing things that bring acclamation that the ego yearns and seeks. The inflated ego continuously seeks attention. Coming to the Siddhas, we see the ego break and crumble. We are continuously reminded to carry out good deeds without the sense of "I am the doer."  

While the sufferings of the others is indeed his/her karma that he/she has to live out, can we turn away from them.  They are already experiencing the wrath of their karma hence wherever we are on the siddha path we should have acquired some compassion to realise we have a responsibility to help, without any expectactations.  Pursuing charity with the expectation of advancing spiritually is also unhealthy and not the means for ideal attainment.  Charity should be pursued with “blinckers” on; where you continue to do it over and over, until you forget why you are doing it.  So, should some random person should ask “why do you do this work, all this charity, feeding, helping, giving etc”.  You may stop and think, then reply “I don’t know why I do it, I just know I do it and I want to do it”.  As one forgets why they do it, it gradually becomes a part of their DNA, a part of who they are (or become), there is no reason for “why”.  Perhaps this is when selflessness, true compassion and unconditional love rises up from the soul and squeezes out ego.

Agasthiyar may suggest various ways on how charity, service to humany or all other living beings should be supported.  I am inclined to think that should an individual execute his services honourably from within his capability, financial means, support mechanisms, other resources etc, however large or small, his/her efforts are deemed to be appreciated and accepted, not just by Agasthiyar but also by one’s soul.  Using one’s own initiative, creativity and insights in serving others is probably a good approach rather than being susceptible to a difficult test of some kind.  This does not guarantee that difficult tests will not come but when it knocks, the slightly more matured soul provides aid and insights  to resolve such difficulties. 

“Agathiyar casually hinted that he would present the gift of the Nadi to me to use for myself and read for others too. This gift comes at a time when I began to understand the subject and the web that is spun around this highly debated oracle, object, and subject. Do I need it I ask myself? Of what use would it be on my personal journey of unfoldment? No. I did not have a need for it. I told him that I did not want it. If I had coverted or desired for it Agathiyar would have placed it in my hands and I would have been tied down for the rest of my life. For if I had accepted my journey would have ended there. Word would go around and people would come by daily to have a reading. Although it can be considered as a service to others, I would be caught in the web that is spun.” 

And then there are gifts.

In response to my own question:“However how does one distinguish from what one can and should accept from him and that which is bound to set us back?” 

Shan aiya makes a bold decision and an informed choice.  It clearly  stems from an advanced level of self-realisation.  The gift of the nadi, the gift to heal, a bigger premises, the opportunity to lead … all very appealing, attractive, tempting, alluring.  One could readily accept the impressive offer of doing the work of the siddhas, serving the ones in need, making a difference, creating a virtuous path into the future for others but at what price?  The price would be determined subjectively by each individual.  Having insight into oneself advises what one is amenable to accept or compromise. I guess, the maturity of one’s soul alone would have the vision of a spinning web, covert spin of desire, a slippery slope,  subtle enticements. There is indeed no right or wrong.  The soul is unquestionably the teacher. If one is engaged in and living the 5 tenents of life purposefully and involved in various other self adopted services from inside and outside the soul and one’s only desire is the gift of  being given a space at his feet, the choice is obvious.  No questions, no judgements.  A very long journey ahead for me. 

I am explicitly no expert on the subject, however there are instances when one is able to discern the pros and cons (as opposed to right or wrong) of an opportunity.  In weighing these up, an informed choice or decision can be easily achieved.  Admittedly I have acquired some cheat tricks along the way to survive this tatical game.  If an opportunity is loaded around earthly trappings (again individual determinants), I walk away, I choose the path.  Would it be a lost opportunity?  Perhaps it would, however having to be on the ball in the daily match of tennis, is there any time to count losses? 

New experiences.  New experiences is a different kettle of fish.  Often they are spiked with karma, the kind one wishes to avoid but it finds one anyway.  Shan aiya advises, “do not sulk, do not regret, learn from it, move on”.  Brilliant advice.  However as human, as mere ignorant mortals I too have argued these challenges and tests.  We all struggle with some issues more than others. Some new experiences are easy to learn from and move on.  Then there are those which seek to rip out your soul and turn you into someone you will not recognise…. Literally I guess.  My truth is that I too,  have a reputation of not  coping well with some of these. 

Shan aiya provides my response: “Imagine if I had shoved aside Agathiyar's call to come to his path? Where would I be then?” 

Thank you Shan aiya, for answering my questions and provoking my thinking further.  We are blessed to have a source to turn to when we require guidance, clarity, insight etc. on our quest for gnana/enlightenment. On peering in from the outside the path smacks of joy, happiness, bliss, peacefulness, realisation.  Be not fooled, the path itself is not for the weak, delicate or faint hearted. 

My views above, are based on my limited knowledge and experience, please interpret them as such.

She says it beautifully that "The soul is unquestionably the teacher." Indeed it's true. Agathiyar always keeps telling us that he only sees the soul and not the body that is given identification papers, color, race, religion, etc. I remember many years back, on our outing to a small town a half-hour drive from Kulim, that is known to stock Tamil magazines and books. With the intent to scout around and purchase some good books, I took to the wheel while my nephew and his father accompanied. But it was a disappointing trip, or so we thought, for the shop did not carry them no more as the readership of these mags and books had dropped, they were not bringing in new titles. On the way back my nephew happens to point out to a side road ahead and mentioned that there was the Dhyana Ashram foundered and currently run by Swami Brahmananda Saraswathi, a student of Chinmaya Mission, India. He asks if we wanted to drop in as he had spent some time attending classes with them and knew the Swamiji. While his father chose to return, my hands automatically turned the wheels towards the side road and we found ourselves at the Ashram. My nephew went to look for the Swamiji asking us both to take a tour of the premises. As my brother-in-law and I entered the meditation hall, several large bronze statues caught my eye. Then it moved to a man clad in the traditional attire of a sadhu. He seemed to be circumambulating a shrine at the far end of the hall. On completion, he came towards us at the doorway. But as my brother-in-law moved away, I too followed him into another room. That is when my nephew informs us that Swamiji was waiting to see us. We spent some moments with Swami Brahmananda Saraswathi, before taking leave. Then my nephew rushes us to meet someone else telling me to fall at his feet the moment we see him. Surprisingly we come face to face with the sadhu who I saw earlier. I fell at his feet and stayed there. My nephew seemed to know him and spoke long with the sadhu only giving gestures. Finally, the sadhu told me to get up and gave me the sacred ash and a look that pierced me and went beyond. I have yet to meet someone with a similar powerful gaze. He took leave of us. My nephew then runs down the background of the sadhu. This was the second time he was meeting him, the first took place at the Sri Athi Bhagawathi Amman Thiruchalam, at Bukit Dumbar, Penang, managed by my nephew's Guru. It was then that he came to know of the Siddhis that the sadhu could perform. When I mentioned the unique and penetrating gaze of the sadhu, my nephew explained that he was scanning me looking at my soul.

These days when Agathiyar comes we realize that he too addresses the individual's soul and puts questions to the soul rather than take the word or wishes of the individual with a name and face who stands before him. Amazing. Having Agathiyar around is like having a personal coach train us. When I ask to leave, preferring to provide the space and a moment of privacy between the seeker or devotee and Agathiyar, he calls me to stay and sit beside him. Finally, he explains the reason too, telling me that I need to witness and learn from others' experiences. Here I saw how he dealt so professionally with individuals, listening to them and then questioning their soul if that is what it wanted. In these moments I began to realize that what we wanted as an individual need not necessarily be what our soul wanted. He speaks to the soul.

He tells us that diving within in meditation we too can meet and speak to our soul. That is the day we would actually come to know the true purpose of us (the soul and not Shanmugam Avadaiyapa) taking this birth. If we generally go for a Nadi reading to know about our past karma, Tavayogi once told me that through meditation you can come to know what you had done in the past births. When we seek the Nadi, Agathiyar addresses the individual seated before him who carries a unique thumbprint, a name, a face, and a past. He reveals his story. But when he comes personally, he sets aside the individual, scans the soul and speaks to it, getting the true picture, for the soul is covered and veiled by the many apparels we have created for ourselves. He sees through the guise. He sees the genuine and not the pretense or adulterated version.

When Agathiyar dished out remedies to the next of kin of one whose life was slipping away, he reminded them to inform the dying soul to keep up its spirit too. After performing all that was asked of Agathiyar, yet the man died. Close relatives chided and spoke ill of Agathiyar and the devotee who took up the dying man's case with Agathiyar. They hurt his feeling saying that it was a waste of time and energy in carrying out the complicated parikaram. They sarcastically told him to put his life to better use rather than run after Agathiyar. Never is there a Nadi reading for a dead man but there was an exception here. The devotee was called up for a reading. In it, Agathiyar questions him, "What am I suppose to do? You had carried out all the parikara faithfully but that soul had given up on life!" Agathiyar makes a pertinent point here. Do not ask to save another life just because of the relationship and bond that we carry and because we care. Ascertain first if that soul wants to continue living! I receive numerous calls and messages asking to pray from fellow devotees. Most of the time I do not even know them or their history. I am only told that they are a relative or a friend or someone they know. These days I even receive forwarded messages on social media that are circulated, calling for prayers to save individuals. 

Ruzbeh N Bharucha in his blog and writings sheds some light to this mystery at https://www.speakingtree.in/blog/the-master-s-grace

Yes, the laws of karma are rigid and the cards are dealt without emotion. What one has sowed, one shall reap. The experience shall be gone through. There is no escaping this fact. And yet throughout the ages, through time, Sages, mystics, Sufis, the Holy Scriptures, all proclaim that The Master is Merciful. On one hand we have the unyielding laws of cause and effect. On the other hand we have the mercy and tenderness of The Master.

When a sibling of a mother pleaded to him to save her sister's son, Ma came to remind us that Agathiyar went the extra mile to amend the fate of a dying child for his devotee. But he made it known that it came with numerous risks. Only after forewarning and getting the approval of the next of kin of the affected party, did he roll the dice, just as the doctors warn us of the risks involved in any major operation. 

Ruzbeh says that "They are so merciful that our Masters seek no credit for the innumerable times when They have protected us from our own karma, our own stupidities and that of the world." And so it was that the master came for his students, disciples, and devotees. 

As Ruzbeh says, ".. the Perfect Master, like our Baba Sai, who can stand between us and our own karma and work things out in the best way S(H)e feels is right and appropriate for the wellbeing of the disciple and devotee", Agathiyar only after careful consideration decided to interfere in the laws of karma and deal the cards. The master might not grant or deliver what we ask for at times if it would hurt us further. He would rather see us suffer in pain a few days rather than have us suffer life long. But our greatest setback is our hold on the relationship with the world and the bond it creates.

He narrates a story where Shridi Sai tells a disciple the reason he refused to help revive the dead child of a lady. The soul had already taken birth elsewhere. If he brings it back to life, imagine the catastrophe that would unwind as a result. The parents of the newborn child will be devastated! 

Be careful in what we want for another. Let the aged and sick individual decide whether he or she wants to prolong their life (and suffering). Most of the time the concerned party will not be aware of what its soul actually desires. Neither will we - the next of kin.

To a question, "For example ...You mentioned, The mediumship to the Nadi; mediumship to healing...did he approach it as an offer or a fulfillment of purpose or an instruction? Can one decline and how?", I declined and he accepted my stand, to a certain degree.

He decides what we should do if it serves a bigger purpose that only he knows. He never brought up the subject of the Nadi as a gift again. But the healing continues with the Siddhas coming to attend to the need of the devotee and the need of the moment. For instance, I was cured of my back pain by Lord Murugan with a peacock feather and recital of the Arutperunjhoti Maha mantra, simultaneous while the Nadi was read. In another instance, Dhavantri healed my ailing back by applying the sacred ash. Agathiyar personally healed another two devotees, ridding the back pain with the sacred ash and healing a torn ligament, calling for us to bring several ingredients from our grounds and pounding it himself to make a poultice respectively. This reminds me of the story told by Agathiyar in the Nadi to the late Hanumathdasan Aiya of how a Siddha prepared a medicine to help regain a child her diminishing sight relief the stomach pain of her mother in the jungles of Kollimalai. He had them sit outside his hut while he prepared the medicines. On their next visit, there was neither his hut nor him and nobody remembered seeing him. A Siddha in our early days of devotion to them brought a family together, ridding the cause of their problems. In these instances, they tell us that they have a task to attend to, and want us to step aside and watch as they go about doing these siddhis. We took heed of the instruction and gave way for the divine to carry out its miracles and lila.

Jnana Jhotiamma was relieved of her pain in her legs as she came down the steps to Palani by a young lad who drew out a tiny vel and massaged her feet with it. Who else could that be if not Lord Muruga, she thought as he raced up the flight of steps just as fast as he came down? The Tamil movie Seedan beautifully depicts the story of how Lord Murugan comes in present times answering the call of his devotee, serves her and finally vanishes into thin air, on the steps of his temple in Palani, bringing the devotee to realize that he had come and stayed with them all this while.  This is the magic of the Siddhas.