AN EXPRESSION OF DEVOTION

FALLING IN LOVE WITH GOD

First, he is seen as God, both respected and feared. We keep our distance. Then as we get to know him he comes closer as a teacher and comrade. Soon he is a companion and lover. We become intimate and merge together in love. This is how the love for God evolves. Once both lovers merge she sees everything through his eyes. He sees her in everything. 

Similarly, we can easily fall in love with these children.

Abhinaya Mahindren

Agatheesan Bala Chandran

In the Uddhava Gita, Uddhava questions the events leading to the Kurukshetra battle. Here Uddhava hesitantly questions Sri Krishna for what he believes to be inaction on the part of him to intervene at many instances and prevent those shameful events from taking place. Here Sri Krishna opens our eyes to the truth that although we talk about God and his presence we tend to put him aside when we engage in unlawful deeds. This is when disaster strikes. If only we remember every instance of his presence we would never make a mistake. We often listen to our thoughts rather than the Divine and his divine voice or Manasatchi or the inner Self that watches our every move. When Agathiyar is in our thoughts day and night we shall never make a wrong move. An upcoming guru who later fell into disgrace held on to a beautiful concept that impressed me. I took his message and never saw the messenger. He asked us to consider what our guru would do in our place before we even make any move. Bringing the thought and his presence at these times will stop us from making the wrong choices. But he too eventually fell for it, putting aside all his gurus for that one moment, that brought on to him much misery and defamation. But I tend to see the other side of the coin. Maybe he had exhausted his karma and desires but as others' desires needed to be fulfilled certain unprecedented events have to take place. Otherwise, both parties cannot possibly come out of the cycle of karma. Sadly, we do lip service most of the time and brush aside the very principles we hold to at times where our personal and individual desires take hold of us. That is when we are caught in the trap of our own making. Then we rush to him for help. If there is no sign of him we start deriding and accusing him even questioning if he is at all present. That is the mode of man. I too need to remind myself of the dangers, not what is out there but the hidden vasanas that await the right moment to spring up from the depth of my heart. This is where we need a guru to help us deal with this past vasanas and rather than keep them under check, to exhaust them either in the fire of sacrifice, charity, Yagna, or meditation. A watchful guru keeps tab of our moves and saves us in the nick of time provided we do not sideline him at those moments.

Uddhava's story itself is very enlightening. The Deccan Herald carried this story.

Sri Krishna in wanting to enlighten Uddhava gave him an insignificant chore, sending the learned Uddhava to Vrindavan. He was to pass a message to the milkmaids or Gopikas that Sri Krishna was not returning to Vrindavan as promised. Sri Krishna could have asked anyone else to pass the message on to the gopikas. Why Uddhava? In delivering this insignificant message Uddhava learned the significance of devotion to a personal God.

Uddhava promptly went to the gopikas and told them that they should not weep for Krishna and that they should invest their energies in acquiring Brahamajnana. He tried to teach them the virtues the yoga and meditation, instructed them to ignore the body and how these practices would lead to samadhi.

The gopikas told him that they were in Krishna samadhi all the time and were constantly experiencing the three yogas of meditation, wisdom, and devotion.

 The gopikas taught him instead guru bakthi and devotion to a personal God.

Uddhava wanted to impart theoretical knowledge, while the gopikas were instructing him in the priceless value of direct experience. (Source: https://www.deccanherald.com/content/466097/story-krishna-uddhava.html)

Later at the tail end of Sri Krishna's tale, Uddhava is summoned again to bring a message again this time to his Yadava clan informing them of his eventual death.

This was the context behind Krishna’s revelation to Uddhava of the Hamsa Gita or the Song of the Swan otherwise known as the Uddhava Gita.

“The restless mind,” says Krishna to Uddhava, “easily falls victim to the illusion of diversity, which leads to the conception of good and evil and the discrimination between prescribed action, inaction, and prohibited action. By controlling your mind and senses you will see the world in your own self, and your own self in Me, the Supreme Lord.

Read more at: https://www.deccanherald.com/content/466097/story-krishna-uddhava.html

PRANAYAMA IS ESSENTIAL

A friend and reader from Kerala messaged me after reading the last post asking, "I couldn't read it without being physically excited 🙈. Was exclaiming oh oh 😄 etc.. how how wonderful...Pls tell me aiyya, how do we follow our breath?"

I replied to her and shared whatever little I knew and was told and put to practice and realized till now.

"Appa wants us to first become aware of our breath. For that, u have to connect with the breath. Hence the reason for all the pranayama practices. When the breath begins to assert itself u will slowly notice n become aware of it plying thru u. Whenever u realize this moment appa asks us to connect with it now silently sitting n observing it without the need of doing the practice further. Slowly he asks us to follow its travels within. Soon prana or pranic energy takes a ride with the breath n comes within. Eventually, the skin pores open up. The taste buds open up. This energy is further absorbed thru the skin, in taking drinks n food, in having a bath, etc. Food tastes like amirtham. The breath that comes within suddenly starts to have a taste that of sweetness. N many more ma. Pranayama leads to all these. That is something that is god-given."

"Prana sustains us keeping us alive. We just need to tap it n bring it within. Not that it is not available to us now. Yes, it is but in some quantities. Pranayama enhances it to the state of achieving the Pranava deham eventually. Looks like pranayama is very essential in all ways. Appa says following the breath itself is dhyanam. First, u need to start with pranayama. Then you observe the breath. This shall take u within. That is meditation."

I shared Acharya Gurudasan's video tutorial on an introduction to Pranayama that the Kriya Yogi adopts with her that would be a good start. Acharya led us on these techniques and enlightened us when he was working in Malaysia for several years some years back. We are grateful to him to spend his time and share his knowledge and guide us personally through this practices.

OUR CONVERSATIONS ARE HEARD

When I met Tavayogi the first time in 2005, he asked if I had seen the Gnana Kaandam. Sivabalan had told me to see it in 2002. I wonder how many see it for most settle for the Pothu Kaandam or General Canto and the Santhi Parikara Kaandam or the Canto on Prayers and Remedies and leave? Some come back for the Thozhil Kaandam or Career Canto, Tirumana Kaandam or Marriage Canto, or the Prasana Kaandam or the Medical Canto, when faced with choices or problems at work and marriage or fall sick respectively. I believe no one walks up to the reader asking to see the Gnana Kaandam. Sivabalan told me that most don't have it too and asked me to test my luck when I saw the Nadi the very first time. By Agathiyar's grace, I read mine.

As I had hesitated if I should share the recordings of the recent conversations with Agathiyar but eventually went ahead, Agathiyar came yesterday to give the green light to do so, though he asked to write only about my experiences and the teachings he gave us personally. I suppose it is to avoid confusion as there already exist wagonloads of channels and literature on the means and methods to reach God. 

இனி உமது எழுத்துக்களில் உமது பயணங்கள் மட்டும் இருக்கட்டும்
உம்மை நான் வழி நடத்தும் வழிமுறைகளையும் பகர்வாயாக 

If I had written about Jnana Jothiamma in the past several posts and attributed her probable sudden demise to her desire to be with Agathiyar, Agathiyar confirmed it yesterday. For the first time, he revealed or spoke about her departure.

ஞானத்திற்கு ஜோதியாய் இருந்தவளை ஜோதியின் தரிசனம் காண்பித்தற்கு ஆயத்தம் செய்த நிலையில் நான் செய்த சுத்திகரிப்பு அவளின் உள்ளம் ஏற்கவில்லை எம்மோடு இணைந்து கொள்ள அவள் விருப்பம் கொண்டால்

He had wanted to show her the Jothi but she opted for Agathiyar. She preferred to be with Agathiyar. He fulfilled her wishes. Hence we understand why what was prophecized by Agathiyar that she will leave for the USA in 2017 and on route back to India will stopover in Malaysia preaching the Siddha path did not materialize. Her desires overshadowed Agathiyar's wishes.

I was lamenting to Suren and Mahin that the past two years were not productive having stayed at home strictly following Agathiyar's directive and partly because of the lockdowns enforced, Agathiyar tells me that it was not so. Agathiyar answered all the questions and doubts I have had the past two years as I was told to go within. He addressed the disturbances that I faced as the neighborhood became nonconducive for one new to meditation to go within. In September of 2019, he had asked that we go within and gave us some techniques. At the same time, the once quiet neighborhood became a bustle of activity, din, and noise. As a beginner trying to meditate I found it pretty difficult to go within. He told me that even if I were to move into the jungles I would face similar disturbances in other forms. Earlier bringing my dilemma to Ramalinga Adigal he told me that these were obstacles that one has to overcome. Similarly, Agathiyar told me last night that just as there are parasites in the jungle, so are they in the towns that cause anguish, problems, and trouble.

காட்டில் தவம் செய்வோருக்கு இங்கிருக்கும் புல்லுருவிகள் தொல்லையாய் இருக்கும், நகரத்தில் வாழும் உமக்கு இவைகளே புல்லுருவிகள். 

I told Agathiyar that I had failed miserably in the tasks he had given me thinking that I have wasted precious time. But on the contrary, he tells me subtle changes had indeed taken place and there was progress. He explains my recent experiences too bringing me an understanding of the changes that have begun to take place within. I am glad to hear that. 

இவ் இரு ஆண்டுகள் யாவும் பயனற்று போகவில்லை. 

When many can come up with numerous definitions for meditation or Dhyanam, Agathiyar defines it in very simple terms. He tells us that following the breath is Dhyanam. 

நீயாய் சுவாசித்த பிராணவாயு இனி உன்னை கேட்காமல் உன்னுள் ஊடுருவும். எப்பொழுதெல்லாம்  அது ஊடுருவதை நீ உணறுகிறாயோ இருக்கும் இடம் அறிந்து அதனுள் பயணம் செய். கலந்து போ. அதனோடு நீ கலக்கும் தருணமே தியானம்.

As simple as that. I guess that is the reason he wants us just to listen, heed, and follow his words and explanation rather than read, listen, follow, and quote other texts or sources. As it is we are pretty confused when some saints drop all that they have strived for in the material world overnight and leave their homes to the jungles or live in the streets. They shed all their previous hold on things and take up the name of God and take up turavaram or become a mendicant. On the contrary, Agathiyar wants us to stay with the family and achieve the state of a turavi. So it makes sense when he says listen to him and ignore others ways however tempting it might be.

He had asks that we carry out his Vizha or annual celebrations without fail. 

நீங்கள் எமது விழாவை மட்டும் எனக்கான பூசையை செய்து வரவும்.

That usually falls in December or the following January and is carried out without fail at Tavayogi's Kallar Ashram. But until recently he had switched the date for us to celebrate his Vizha to coincide with Thaipusam. He had asked us to extend invitations to all. Is this an indication that the Covid pandemic might subside by then? That would indeed be good news to all. 

He tells me that conducting the Vizha was not for me but for his devotees. 

அவை உமக்கு இல்லாவினும் இங்கு வரும் எம் பக்தருக்காக. 

I recall Tavayogi tell me that he was building his new Ashram/Temple complex not for him but for those who shall come by in later years. I do remember him telling me the reason he began conducting the Maha Yagam too. It was just after the 2004 tsunami had hit the shores of several countries. This tragedy initiated his move to conduct this Yagam and he soon turned it into an annual affair.

He reveals that Goddess Mugambikai and Lord Shiva had interacted with the child of a devotee on different occasions. The child had pointed out to her parents their presence in their households. A similar happening took place at the Sri Jeganathar temple in Tapah in the past. A colleague from my office called me up and related the happening. He had accompanied a friend and his wife and two kids to the temple. As it was pretty late at night they decided to camp for the night at the temple rather than travel back to Kuala Lumpur. As the friend and his wife were attending to the cry for milk of the second child who was a baby, the elder child of two years suddenly let out a cry too. Upon investigating she pointed out Swami Jeganathar's photo and told them that he had carried her! 

Children are still connected with their home, the source. They are divine in nature. The Buddha nature in them is very obvious. What we adults need to do is to travel back to being a child. This lesson was taught by another granddaughter of mine. As she was 16 years of age but used to behave like her younger sister, her mother apprehended her. The teen replied, "Mother my sister cannot possibly come to my level, but I can surely go down to her level and play." The mother was stunned. This is how Agathiyar has come down for us. Agathiyar who Tavayogi showed us as God as we chanted "Arul Gnana Jothiye Agathin Jothi, Tani Perung Kadavule Agatheesar Aavaar" came as a guru leading us by holding our hands. Now he has come as a companion keeping us company in all our tasks. Understanding this change, transformation, and transition in the relationship between the Guru and Disciple, I decided to reorganize my prayer room. Since he had asked us to abstain from all forms of rituals,  I created an atmosphere conducive for him to meditate. I laid the deerskin that Supramania Swami had gifted me and placed his murthy on it. I placed the Deepam or Light centerstage as he had often directed us whenever we gather around him in the past. I placed his sandals on the ground before him. Then I realized that everything had fallen into place just as Bhogar had led us on to bring Lord Shiva to grace our home. Bhogar had us recite the chant "Adhi Sivam, Jothi Sivam, Moola Sivam." I saw his murthy or statue as Adhi Sivam, a replica of the very first granite statue of Agathiyar in this Kali Yuga build by King Kuberan in his temple at Thirumaraikaadu or that goes by the new name Agasthiyampalli. Of course, Jothi Sivam was the oil lamp. Moola Sivam referred to His Holy Feet and sandals as in his Moola Mantra given to us.

Aum Srim Aum Sarguru Patamay
Saaba Paaba Vimosanam
Rowga Ahungaara Durvimosanam
Sarva Deva Sagala Siddha Oli Rupam
Sarguruway Om Agasthiya Kirantha Kartaaya Nama

ஓம் ஸ்ரீம் ஓம்
சற்குரு பதமே
சாப பாவ விமோசனம்
ரோக அகங்கார துர்விமோசனம்
சர்வ தேவ சகல சித்த
ஓளி ரூபம்
சற்குருவே ஓம் அகஸ்திய
கிரந்த கர்தாய நம

I rejoiced in seeing the connections. But when Agathiyar came he tore the veil of ignorance in me telling me that the intention of mine to allocate a spot for him to meditate was not for him but a reminder for us to sit and go into Tavam. I suddenly realized my stupidity. Agathiyar being the Maha Muni had gone through years of Tavam including having taken it up within the deep oceans for some 12 years we are told. The one who now needs to go within is us. 

எம்மை தவ கோலத்தில் நீ வைத்தது யாம் தவத்தில் அமருவதற்கு அல்ல. உங்களை இல்லத்தில் அமரவைக்க. யாரெல்லாம் என்னோடு இணைத்தார்களோ அவர்கள் எல்லாமே தவக்கோலம் பூணுவார்கள். இங்கு நான் அமர்ந்தது போலவே எல்லோரும் அமர்ந்திடுவர்.

Agathiyar is bent on getting everyone who comes over seeking him to go into meditation and not remain forever in rituals.

Once when my wife and I were traveling back home from a wedding in Teluk Intan, a town some 170 km from Kuala Lumpur, as we were cruising through the countryside my wife was desperately trying to hold a conversation with an AVM family member regarding our upcoming puja. She managed to get her message across although the line was extremely bad. Then we spoke about whether we wanted to place lime around the homa kundam or vessel as Tavayogi had initiated. We left it at that without making a decision. On the day of the puja the divine instructed us to place the lime! In a region where there was hardly a decent coverage of the network, how did Agathiyar tap into our conversation, asked my wife? Did Agathiyar travel with us listening on in our conversation? 

Indeed our conversations are head. I had shared all the above with Suren and Mahin and Agathiyar comes along to clarify things. He watches, listens in, and interrupts the conversation too. There was a time when Jnana Jothiamma went silent over Skype only to come back and tell me that Agathiyar had hijacked our conversation. He cut me off and began to talk to her. 

Ain't all these amazing!

LEARNING THE LANGUAGE

As I came from a missionary school, I picked up learning to read and write the Tamil language that was an option and a part of the Pupils Own Language program or POL in school. I had my own cousin sister Miss Indra teach first and Mr. Raman and Mr. Arasu teach me later. Later on my interest in reading Tamil grew because I wanted to keep up to date with the Tamil movies. I was crazy about Tamil movies then learning about the movie, the director, the storyline, casts, songs, and music, etc. Family members would ask me for a review before they decided to see the movie. 

A seat in the very front cost 35 sen. A few rows back would cost 65 sen then in the sixties. A Ringgit would get you a seat right at the back which was first class and that was elevated. A Ringgit 25 sen would fetch a balcony seat. I was often spotted right in front of the stage by my relatives who would report to my family telling them that I would spoil my eyesight watching up close. To keep up to date with the news and development of the Tamil cinema industry I would buy and read the bilingual movie magazine Indian Movie News that was published in Singapore. Later I would borrow other magazines like Pesum Padam from my (Tamil teacher) cousin who used to subscribe to it. She was a fan of Sivaji Ganesan and her husband was a fan of MGR. That is how my interest in learning the language was kept alive. The Tamil cinema kept my interest in learning the language alive. But I never sat for any exam as I had already nine compulsory subjects on hand when I was in upper secondary. The director of the missionary school turned down an additional subject.

I had wanted to become a movie director back then. I also wanted to become a professional artist. Although it did not happen, I kept myself occupied drawing and painting to appease my appetite. I have my family members engage in it though these days. Gowri Arumugam who has made a name in the local music industry is my niece. When she had a request come her way from Tavayogi to sing a song for Agathiyar, she called me up and we put together an album "Agathiyar Geetham" that was well-received by listeners, Tavayogi and Agathiyar himself in a Nadi reading. My daughter who picked up art drew and designed the cover of the album. She has completed her degree in Mass Communication. She had reviewed Mani Ratnam's movies for her thesis. Although I did not make it to become a movie director I ended up making YouTube videos with Tavayogi and Agathiyar as my superstars. I am pleased, contented, and happy that my desires did materialize eventually in another form. Tavayogi too had his hands in the movies making a cameo appearance in two of the movies he financed before he came to be a mendicant. My late father used to run a theatre back in India back then. An uncle used to be a film distributor and owned a theatre here in the past.

When my interest switched to wanting to read about Indian customs and traditions and later about religion, whatever little Tamil I knew helped me through. The day I realized the importance of the language was when I read through the two volumes of the Thiruarutpa compiled by Ooran Adigal which I purchased after listening to the songs by Ramalinga Adigal on cassette. I was thankful that at least I could manage with whatever little I learned to read this great work and others. 

Later when I wanted to compile the many songs of the Siddhas that were scattered all over in numerous books into a compendium of songs in praise of the Siddhas, Kannan of Kelana Computer Center passed me the Sakthi font that aided me in writing in Tamil in the nineties.

But I had always been unsure as to which ண, ன, and ந; ல, ள, and ழ to use for instance. I got hold of books that clarified some of these issues. These days we have many aids besides these books. Google is very helpful in many ways. Online tutorials have been very helpful too. For instance the following channel.

I remember Jnana Jothiamma who was born in Kerala and studied in Chennai before she migrated to the USA tell me that she regretted not knowing to speak fluently and to read and write the language after she came to find that many Siddha works are written in Tamil. The most compassionate Agathiyar surprised her when he told her that she would possess and read the Nadi one day. When she replied that she was not proficient in the language, Agathiyar told her he would shower the gift of proficiency in the language on her. But for reasons only known to Agathiyar she had an untimely death. I believe she wanted him more than anything else. Agathiyar respected the soul and took it back. For instance, a brother-in-law of a friend was bedridden for two years. My friend and her husband referred to the Nadi and without fail carried out all the remedies given on his behalf. But yet he passed away. There is never a Nadi reading for a dead man but here was an exception. Agathiyar called my friends and told them "What am I to do? I know that you had done your best in consulting me and carrying out all the remedies. I told you to keep reminding him to have his spirits up. Only if he is strong can the remedies work and can I change his fate. But sadly his soul had given up. He surrendered and wanted to leave. I had to oblige him."

When Ramalinga Adigal asked if I was reading Tavayogi's book "Andamum Pindamum" which explained the Tattvas, I replied to him that I read but did not understand it. He told me to read it again. If I cannot comprehend then he shall come to explain. Agathiyar in asking us to read the Thirumanthiram which he regards as the Gnana Nool, asked us to read the original text and not those that come with explanations. Though we might not understand initially, he tells us that by reading regularly Thirumoolar or any author for the matter shall come to reveal the essence of their writings.

Tavayogi and Mataji who both had an M.A. in Tamil literature had the tools necessary to spread the teachings of the Siddhas. Tavayogi does not talk much but upon taking the stage can go for hours on hand. Both Tavayogi and Mataji are profound speakers with Mataji able to captivate the audience with her jokes as she keeps abreast with the times. When Nadi readers are trained to read the Nadi, Tavayogi was gifted the Jeeva Nadi that he read and deciphered later. Later he passed on the Nadi and the gift of reading it to Mataji. These reading sessions bring some revenue to the ashram.

SETTLING DOWN

In reaching God, all the saints and Siddhas become an embodiment of love and they shared, spread, and preached the love for God wanting to bring others to experience God. Indeed joy is in sharing.

Just as he gave me a long list of remedies to carry out and told me that he shall see me after three years, Agathiyar broke the group AVM and packed the seekers home to carry out the worship of Siddhas with their families in their individual homes. As for the rests, he said that he shall see them in the future once they have realized the futility of seeking fulfilment, satisfaction and happiness elsewhere. If they had all converged at AVM before, he had them read the blog for updates instead. For those keen to move up he walked us through the phases or Angas of Patanjali's Asthanga Yogam and had us practice it coming often to check on us. 

In asking us to reduce our activities attending only to the essentials; abandon all rituals and puja and only pick them up again when necessary; asking us to stop singing the songs of their praise but instead sing the songs of the saints and their experiences, hence bringing us too to their state of equilibrium, bliss and ecstasy; asking us to move in and within, and asking us to sit quietly and observe the breath, we realize that Agathiyar is bringing us from the state of activity that of Beta to quieten down and relax in the Alpha state initially before sinking further into the state of sleep or theta. But the idea is not to doze off but to be alert and awake says Nagarajan, a seeker, and practitioner of Yoga who shares his experiences.

This is akin to the metaphor "Thongaamam Thoongum Sugam." Arunagiri was told to sit still by Lord Murugan too.

Sophy Burnham in her book "The Art of Intuition - Cultivating Your Inner Wisdom", Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2011, explains the various mental states that go on from engaging in activities to sitting still.

The brain produces electrical impulses all the time that have both frequency and amplitude. The amplitude shows the power of the impulse, as measured in microvolts. The frequency is the speed of these waves, measured in cycles per second or hertz, and there are four frequencies beta, alpha, theta and delta.

She says, 

Your state of consciousness arises from the fluid combination of these four frequencies .. and the awakened mind use all four in symphonic harmony.

The range varies slightly amongst the many texts and sources.

"Beta waves ranging from 38 - 15 Hertz are what most people use most of the time while involved in everyday activities. Alpha waves vibrate at and from 14 to 9 Hertz. We drop into a relaxed mode, everything takes on a sacred and holy radiance" says Sophy. Nature itself vibrates at a frequency equivalent to alpha. Being in nature throws us into the alpha state automatically. So we understand why Bhogar told us to love nature and be with nature. 

"Theta waves vibrate at and from 8 to 5 hertz bringing us into the arena of the subconscious and long-term memory." I suppose when Tavayogi told me he had access to his past births and lives during meditation, he must have gone into this state. Sophy writes, "In theta, you are moved by empathy and compassion. The lowest theta frequencies take you into deep meditation and have healing potential. In theta lies mystical and spiritual experiences."

Nagarajan says it takes place between theta and delta. 

From https://www.mindlab.institute we gather the following.

When you are in intense creativity, you are having a mystical theta burst where you engage in deep dialogue with your divine mind and you’ll be surprised by your performance. This is the brain state of “being in the zone” where your work feels effortless.

"Delta waves operate at and from 4 to 0.5 hertz bringing us to deep sleep and restorative rests" says Sophy. "Geniuses and psychics have access to the delta" she adds. 

We learn further that,

They never go down to zero because that would mean that you were brain dead. Research has shown that although one brainwave state may predominate at any given time, depending on the activity level of the individual, the remaining three brain states are present in the mix of brainwaves at all times. (Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-is-the-function-of-t-1997-12-22/)

Sophy says, "When you are able to access all four wavelengths at will and when you add the power of heightened amplification then you have the attributes of the awakened mind." 

In delta and theta, we consciously create conditions. Hence we can take our lives into our own hands, manipulate and change fate at will, bringing on a new destiny. 

Sophy says "In these levels we enter the spiritual realms in deep humility, compassion, and gratitude which shows in the personalities of the great saints. Moving towards a paradigm shift we enter new states of awareness and understanding exactly what the saints did to evolve spiritually."

Annie Besant in her talks on "The Laws of the Higher Life", The Theosophical Publishing House, 1903, describes these changes.

"The brain has to be changed, refined, improved, its connecting links fashioned and manufactured for the purposes of the expression of the higher consciousness." 

"Here, in the jungle, they meditated making the brain tense and refined by the concentration of the mind, and restraint of lower faculties, fixed in rapt attention on the higher, with the consciousness working from above playing on the physical brain and tuning it to respond safely to the higher vibrations. Then it strove to draw the lower upwards (as Tavayogi says of our efforts that are only till the first two initial stages, Muladhara and Svadisthana) until it answered no longer to the stimuli of the outer world. This is a state of yoga - complete withdrawal of the consciousness from the Indriyas."

"Now making the mind steady, holding quiet the powers of the mind, the mind ceases to vibrate, and it becomes still - able to answer the vibrations coming from above."

Man who wished to make rapid progress escaped into the jungle, that as we know brings him into the alpha state almost immediately. Here he is saved from the constant bombardment of "coarser magnetism of the outer world", where "rougher vibrations" do not assail him. Hence he is less likely to be upset. Yogi Ramsuratkumar too expressed his sadness saying that it is a blessing indeed if one could go into a meditative state in these times where there are a myriad of waves emitted from appliances and gadgets that disturb meditation. Hence we understand partly why people made a headway to the monasteries and secluded places in the past in search of God.

Ervin Laszlo in bringing us an insight into the mind of the child, says,

"Young children up to the age of 4 or 5 are permanently in the open region of activity, alpha region or theta region. Children are in that region until they are 8 or 9 years old."

From https://mentalhealthdaily.com/ we learn of delta waves.

"These are the slowest recorded brain waves in human beings. They are found most often in infants as well as young children."

Henry Wei in his book “The Guiding Light of Lao Tzu”, Synergy Books International, writes that both Lao Tzu and Jesus consider reversion to the state of a child as necessary for salvation for entrance into the kingdom of heaven. In the eyes of Lao Tzu, “the infant with its pristine purity and innocence is the perfect symbol of Tao itself.” 

Children are still connected with their home, the source. They are divine in nature. The Buddha nature in them is very obvious. It's a journey back to being a child. In simple terms, it is a return to the fine and subtle from the coarse, or the coarse to the fine.

THE BLISS IN SHARING

A paradigm shift took place after several years of worship to the Siddhas. If the calling to the path of the Siddhas first came through a Kaanda Nadi reading in 2002, subsequently the Siddhas continued to guide the way through the Aasi Nadi readings after we took heed of their advice and worked on our parikaram or remedies as given in that first reading, and atoned for our past actions. The bridge was built through rituals and continuos prayers and worship, and the Siddhas crossed over from their realm. They manifested as energies and spoke through the medium of devotees shelving the need to speak through the Nadi scrolls or oracle.

On the eve of the pandemic in December of 2019, Agathigar brought to a close all our activities including the said rituals and charity programs. He asked us to go within on a journey of a different kind, that would bring us to know our soul and our purpose in coming. He came in January the following year to guide us on going within.

Just as I had compiled a compendium of songs in praise of the Siddhas, I had compiled and documented the fifty-eight Nadi readings and the direct revelations in person that we were blessed to hear from the Siddhas. If I had shared several Nadi readings on YouTube and Podomatic earlier, I thought that I should share the recordings of our conversations with the Siddha energies, and began to work on organizing them in chronological order on my laptop. Though I had gone through the folders and files to ascertain that nothing of value was on my laptop prior to resetting my windows, I guess I must have overlooked these recordings. I had lost them. I tried to retrieve the files using file retrieval software, but as I came to know later the reset to a fresh installation of the OS wipes out the entire contents of the disk and cannot be retrieved. I thought Agathiyar did not want it to be made known hence the reason for the accidental erasure. But going through numerous other hard disks later, I managed to retrieve a copy of the said files, minus a few that were damaged/corrupted and would not play. I guess it is all right to share after all.

SHARING TO ENLIGHTHEN

Sharing means "having or giving a portion of (something) with another or others; use, occupy, or enjoy (something) jointly with another or others; possess (a view or quality) in common with others; have a part in (something, especially an activity)." (Source: Oxford Dictionaries) Sharing could also be of one's knowledge as do the Professors, teachers, and academics; experience as in the old and wise passing down their wisdom and advice; and personal experiences that one feels will bring cheer to another, motivate him, etc. 

To enlighten means "to provide someone with information and understanding, or to explain the true facts about something to someone." (Source: Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary & Thesaurus)

The Siddhas have left behind volumes of written scriptures that publishers like Thamarai Noolagam Chennai have made easily accessible to the masses. Ask anyone where to buy books on Siddhas they shall point us to this publisher. They have become synonymous with the name Siddhas. Ramalinga Adigal gave us the Arutpa, a compendium of songs that described his experience in seeking and wanting to return back to God's kingdom. Imagine the great loss or void that we would have felt if he had not shared them. Paramahansa Yogananda chose to write his autobiography that has come to change many individual's lives. His book introduced me to the existence of godly men or gurus. I guess after reading it I could bring myself to accept gurus both in the flesh and in subtle form too. Gandhi gave us his autobiography that shed light on his life, principles, and his mission. Many adopt his principle of Ahimsa to this day. Many an author whom I have mentioned and taken excerpts from their texts and books as references in this blog had shed light on things that were beyond our understanding but that we went through too. Nagarajan, in wanting to become divine, chose to share his experiences and understanding as he began to put them into practice in his YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/NagarajanRV

Carl Sagan in describing the miracle of the written word says,

For 99 percent of the tenure of humans on earth, nobody could read or write. The great invention had not yet been made. Except for firsthand experience, almost everything we knew was passed on by word of mouth. As in the children’s game “Telephone,” over tens and hundreds of generations, information would slowly be distorted and lost.

Books changed all that. Books, purchasable at low cost, permit us to interrogate the past with high accuracy; to tap the wisdom of our species; to understand the point of view of others, and not just those in power; to contemplate — with the best teachers — the insights, painfully extracted from Nature, of the greatest minds that ever were, drawn from the entire planet and from all of our history. They allow people long dead to talk inside our heads. Books can accompany us everywhere. Books are patient where we are slow to understand, allow us to go over the hard parts as many times as we wish, and are never critical of our lapses.

(Source:  https://www.brainpickings.org/2017/11/08/carl-sagan-books-reading/)

If once we loved to have stories told or read to us, and picked up the reading habit ourselves, these days only a select few read has the generation has moved on or rather back to preferring to be read to as in audiobooks. Many have moved on to other forms of media to gain knowledge. YouTube videos have made a great impact on the way people accessed information, replacing television, and newspapers. The advent of the internet to the masses and the many media forms have slowly replaced the need to flip pages to reach a particular search with just a click of the browser tabs. 

This blog was an offshoot of my earlier websites including indianheartbeat. It was created to showcase my artwork literally keeping it intact and free from dust as my collection of art on canvas and paper was deteriorating and collecting dust. After returning from my maiden journey to India in 2003, I documented my journey. This surprisingly had a following with many getting in touch with me and later ending up visiting my gurus Supramania Swami and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal whom I had written about extensively. This was my way of giving back to my gurus for coming into my life and bringing a profound change. I shared the joy of meeting them, speaking to them, journeying with them, etc. Readers liked the stories that were told on these pages. In 2013 I switched to blogging for ease of embedding media into my stories. To date there are 2615 entries, many might be repetitious I acknowledge. What is written is for me too for in looking up the references and explanation to my experiences I too learned many a thing with you readers. 

I am happy that my daughters too have begun sharing their thoughts, and experiences with others. When my elder daughter broke her leg in an accident and was laid for some nine months, she wrote her experience where she documented these trying moments and painful experiences.  http://berrysweetprincess.blogspot.com/2011/04/caring-malaysians-kindness-helps-ease.html,  http://berrysweetprincess.blogspot.com/2011/04/learning-to-walk-again.html, and at  http://berrysweetprincess.blogspot.com/2011/04/autologous-conditioned-plasma-acp.html 

Until we were faced with no other option but to place a titanium rod implant as she had felled into the 5 % category of patients who had nonunion of their fractured bones, the good doctor suddenly suggested if we would like to go for ACP that was widely used in the USA for sports injuries. That day we learned about an alternative treatment called Autologous Conditioned Plasma.

Fifteen ml of blood is taken from your arm with a specially developed double syringe. Then, in a centrifuge, the anti-inflammatory and restorative components are separated from the rest of the blood. This blood plasma is kept separate in the double syringe. The active ingredients are injected into the diseased joint under local anesthesia.

In her case, it was administered at the spot of fracture. She recovered fast.  

Today my second daughter shared her experience on YouTube, which I had briefly mentioned in past post. As she wrote "As many people including myself had never heard of this condition, I decided to make a video to shed light on Retinal Detachment and my experience with it", sharing is also about enlightening others.

She is currently in South Korea doing a student exchange program. She was to go over for the spring semester but circumstances were not in favor. But the delay was all a blessing in disguise as we came to know. We discovered her eye condition that needed surgery. Imagine if she had left and came to know about it later. 

THE JOURNEY THUS FAR IN BRIEF

The earliest memories of me are a timid and shy kid. I would never go against the elders taking in all that is said and giving back only a smile. This changed as I joined college where I chanced to read a book in the college library. Though I cannot remember exactly the title and the author of this book that would change my approach to life, it taught me to say "NO". I began to say "NO" since then that has saved me from being entangled in others' problems or ending up victims to circumstances. 

I was good at drawing humans and portraits as a kid. Seeing my ability to draw well my class teacher of Malay origin had requested I draw something that represented the Indian community. I drew a couple of posters of classical dancers. I remember as an eight-year-old, carrying the canvas home and carrying the completed paintings with me walking to school. I did not see it again until I went up to the secondary level, I saw my paintings grace the assembly hall of the school.  It gave me much joy seeing them hang from the walls.

I drew on the wall of my family home as a kid, depicting the scene where the lady saint Avvai who interacts with Lord Murugan seated on a tree branch learns that all knowledge gained is only tiny weeny compared with what is not known. Later as a teenager, I drew pictures of Gods as murals on the walls of the small temples that my brother-in-law renovated/rebuilt in places he was posted upon requests by the workers from the manual group in the Public Works Department.

If art came easily, reading and learning did not come easily though. Later in secondary, I struggled with Physics, Chemistry, and Additional Maths. After finishing the secondary level, I followed in the footsteps of my brother-in-law enrolling in a Certificate Course in Civil Engineering at a Polytechnic. Landing a job later in a coastal town in the eighties I took up puja in my bachelor home and frequented the temples to pass my time after work. I took to reading books on culture and tradition and later was drawn to religion. All these stopped after 8 years. When I was on the brink of going cuckoo over all the stuff I had read and saw that it did not tally with what was happening in the lives of others, I began to seriously doubt God. I was coincidently transferred back to my Hq bringing an end and a close to this chapter. Even if I had wanted to continue the small room that I and my Muslim colleugue rented in the city did not permit me to do so. There was a 14 year period of hibernation where I only attended to work and the new family that came along. Occasionally I frequented the temples for the sake of my daughters. But even as I had stayed away as told by Lord Shiva, their gaze was always on me. I was called back to the path of devotion in a mysterious series of events. If I had taken up worship of the pantheon of Gods and Goddesses from my parents since young, I was now given my very first mantra that of Vasudeva and asked to worship Lord Shiva in the form of Dhakhanamurthy in preparation to meet my guru. I was asked to observed the Navarathri puja that was days away too. The following year in 2002, the calling came to read the Nadi. The calling came in the Nadi to come to the worship of the Siddhas. This was entirely new to one who only knew the Gods and Goddesses. I took up the calling. As my seeking for guidance from existing movements run in the name of Siddhas was not fruitful, I turn to go solo relying on books and the net. Seeing the lack of information or rather the limited and often repeated mythological stories of them in books and the net, I set to compile a compendium of songs in praise of the Siddhas for my use and other seekers sharing it online. 

Seeing my yearning and struggle to know more about him, Agathiyar sent along Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal to initiate me officially into the Siddha path. I followed him to his Kallar Ashram a month after he returned to India. I started to create websites that carried stories of my maiden travel to India. I never realized that it would reach many until I came to receive emails from seekers wanting to know about Tavayogi and his Kallar Ashram. On subsequent trips to Malaysia, he saw to it that we took up rituals and Yoga. 

In 2010, Agathiyar arrived as a bronze statue, to our shores. Again he roped in my brother-in-law asking him to provide a place in his Mrithiga Brindavanam that he was to build shortly for Sri Raghavendra. My brother-in-law agreed. But seeing us take up his calling to come to worship of the Siddhas and the 8 years of devotion towards him he gifted himself to us and stayed at my home for good and had another devotee place a statue of his at the Brindavanam. 

A seeker from Kerala who had migrated to the USA knocked on the door of Kallar Ashram and was received by Tavayogi and Agathiyar after reading my website indianheartbeat. She came to be known as Jnana Jothiamma later. Surendran knocked on my door after reading my posts too and has since remained faithful to Agathiyar while many others came only to go their ways later. In 2013 many others were sent over after their Nadi readings to learn the Siddha Puja. My home took the name Agathiyar Vanam. The numbers grew. We could then engage in doing charity on a larger scale. Amudha Surabhi was formed for this purpose. 

Although the department upgraded us to the Diploma level and I had an interesting career, but after 36 years the urge to leave the service and spent more time with Agathiyar rose in me. I submitted my option papers. Unsure if I had taken the right move, Agathiyar came in the Nadi to acknowledge my move as proper and timely. I retired in 2016. Agathiyar had kept me even busier since then. I was occupied by the periodical puja at AVM and having visitors besides continuing to write, moving away from maintaining the earlier websites to blogging and hosting the YouTube channel.

At the height of our fame and success, Agathiyar broke the group. He had me stay away and cease all prior activities too. Many could not take it though. Neither could they understand the play of Agathiyar. I came to comprehend his play slowly. I am glad for all that has taken place, for he has broken our hold on all things impermanent, a crucial lesson for one on the Siddha path.

He had us go within, carrying out puja in our individual homes. He had us go within, carrying out the Yogic practices that were put on hold for some 8 years. He had a new lesson and curriculum for us now. Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal took the class, bringing us closer to know the Atma or Soul. Sadly only a few were keen to take up the calling. Many still are attracted to the world and its enchantment said Agathiyar and added that they shall come around in good time. Meanwhile, he asked the remaining few to march on and not wait for others less we miss the boat. 

GOD'S CHILD

There are numerous Nadi readings that are shared in the media these days. When I read them and share them with my wife out of disbelief, she tells me that I should not read them for they are not meant for us. How true. Even my daughter asks me why should I read them when Agathiyar speaks to us. This reminds me of Tavayogi who always reprimands us telling us why do you need Nadi each time we stand before him for a reading. I remember Tavayogi tell a devotee from Tiruvannamalai who had joined them in the Pournami Puja at Kallar Ashram several days before my arrival that he should wear the Rudraksha with care when asked if he could wear it on him. After he left Tavayogi turned to me and told me we do not need it. This reminds me of reading about how Bhagawan Ramana would praise an artist about the greatness of music and tell another to do something else when asked about choices in taking it up as a career. I have come to understand that each devotee and seeker is addressed individually.

This is how my wife comes in a timely fashion to either point out certain flaws in me or save the day. Once when I was figuring out where to hold our annual event of lighting 108 oil lamps as we had decided not to do it again at Batu Caves as we had to endure the noise and dust pollution due to the renovations carried out in the cave temple the previous year that continued on to that year too; and when another temple in Kajang wanted us to take up an Ubayam when we just wanted to light the lamps in the temple grounds; and when I had gone to the extend of googling for all the temples in Kuala Lumpur and Selangor, my wife asks me to call up the Sri Mayuranathar Srimath Pamban Swamigal Temple in Dengkil. The management agreed immediately to allow us to light the lamps and further to it requested that we jointly conduct a Siddhar Puja including lighting the Yagam and doing Abhisegam. 

I guess that is the reason Agathiyar loves her more than me. Recently he told us that my wife, my daughter, and Mahin have more faith in him than I. I guess he was referring to the many instances where this trio had surrendered to Agathiyar and left it to him to care for their immediate needs. If every one of us has given his/her thumbprint and gone through the long process of vetting through the numerous Nadi to ascertain the correct one that completely portrays us, my wife was exempted from this process. Agathiyar came in a Nadi reading addressing her without even calling for her presence, without the need for her thumbprint or the need to be present to verify her Nadi through the question and answer session. I guess it has never happened before to any other individual prior to this reading for the Nadi Nool Aasan too was equally astonished. She is truly blessed. 

Tavayogi too had mentioned his surprise as to how she used to get the news first before it becomes a reality. Once she had a dream in the early morning hours where she saw Tavayogi read a text where the words appeared in gold letters and disappeared just as quickly as they had appeared. When she asked him in the dream how it was possible, Tavayogi answered that all these happen subtly or suksmam. Soon it became a reality as Tavayogi began reading the Jeeva Nadi.

She was the backbone of AVM, the root that held it intact and upright, growing and blossoming into a beautiful tree. Hers is the hand that you see performing the numerous Homams and Abhisegam in the videos I have posted on YouTube. I guess people saw her hands more than her just as readers saw my writings and not the writer. Agathiyar wants it that way too. After Agathiyar dissolved the group, he had told her that she need not engage in rituals or prayer henceforth but it was sufficient that she feed all those who arrive at AVM including him and his comrades the Siddhas, Gods, and Goddesses. That is the honor they pay to those who feed the hungry. These souls are placed in a high place. Similarly the couple the Sri Krishna's too are spoken highly of their deeds in feeding the hungry by Agathiyar. 

But not everyone is required to do the same or given the same task. They are told to do that which comes easily to them. Just as Agathiyar told me to continue writing this blog, Gowri Arumugam gave us the "Agathiyar Geetham" in 2018, doing what comes to her naturally, singing. So did others team up with her to complete the tasks. Today in commemorating the 350th year of Bhagawan Sri Raghavendra leaving his mortal frame she has released a cover song from the movie of the same name.

She writes, "This year is special as it marks the 350th Aradhana Mahotsava of Sri Guru Raghavendra Swamy. Aradhana is the day when Guru Sri Raghavendra entered Brindavana and he will be alive for 700 years. A cover version of Azhaikiran Madhavan was something I was waiting for this year's Aradhana. Usually, I will sing this song as my warming-up song before my recordings. Totally unplanned and the rest is magic."

THE EVER CHANGING PERSPECTIVES

We are always trying to fit into a mold. First, it's the parents whom we follow and imitate in many aspects. Watch a child and her actions and movements and speech, it shall resemble the parent. I am watching my granddaughters imitate their parents. Then we want to follow our peers, friends, and colleagues to be accepted in their circle. Then we want to be associated with or be a part of a religious following, establishment, or movement for it is an added value and gives us a status of being affiliated with these. Coming to a guru we very much want to worship him and dress like him, rather than follow his teachings and put them into practice and try to attain his state of achievements. 

I had never had a dream nor an ambition. I was happy with my career and life.  In the eighties and nineties, I read a lot. I was not one to read novels or biographies though I read much about art, drawing, and painting as I was an artist. Then for no reason, I began to read more on customs and traditions, and religion. Soon I picked up home puja and Yoga from the books. All that was brought to a stop by Lord Shiva in a dream in 1988. After a period of hibernation, I was back on the path by the timely intervention of the divine in 2001. I reestablished with the divine. I was on talking terms with them willing to receive their instructions. As we progress with our home puja our perspective and understanding of the divine changes. It is only after we start puja on our own that we can gain ownership of the divine. I had written earlier of a lady who was told that the Siddhas were waiting outside her home waiting to be invited in. She had asked me how to go about their worship. I gave her a copy of my compilation of songs on the Siddhas. It is only after we start welcoming the divine and his missionaries into the home that the divine comes to have a conversation with us. Otherwise, it would remain a monologue with him as in the temples. Soon even this perspective changes. You can safely drop the rituals for the visits and conversation go on as the bridge is laid. 

Then we have the stories of the saints who interact with  God. Just as Karaikal Ammaiyaar in response to the temple priests who had apprehended and scolded an old lady for pointing her feet towards the inner chamber of the temple where she had laid her burdensome torso down to rest her aching legs, Ammaiyaar who after journeying places spreading and preaching the word of God, coincidently was witness to this harassment, asks the temple priest to show her a place where God did not exists so that she could place her feet in that direction, I too am inclined to ask the same question to a viewer of my YouTube Channel who after watching a clip of Siddha puja asked me, "Sir, tell me about siddhar placement in pooja room. thank you." But Ramalinga Adigal did spell out the directions where one has to face in worship and meditation according to his purpose and needs in doing so.

All the rules and requirements are good till we connect with them. Once we make contact nothing holds us further. We drop all our hold on practices, beliefs, Karma, the planetary influences, SOP's, traditions and customs, etc. We drop all the specific forms of the divine that we had held on too.

The 41-year-old seeker in the following videos decided to become a turavi. From staying alone in a house he wants to move to the jungle. He wants to move on. This is the evolution of the body, soul, and spirit.  He has nailed it right too. Some of his talks resonate with what is written and said in the numerous posts in this blog too. But several other things said might not apply to others and the general public for the spiritual path is one that is carefully customized to each individual's state and means of achievement. For instance, the need to go for turavaram or become a mendicant might not be for all. Agathiyar told us to stay in the family and society and carry on turavaram or abstinence from things not conducive to the soul's growth. There is no common formula to emulate or follow. Hence the reason, in the past, the teachings were one to one, between guru and the sole disciple, specific for the soul to evolve further. Later gurukulams sprang up. Now we have institutions dishing out certificates upon completion of their courses.

As he says, unless and until one embarks on the journey truthfully upholding the regimes and practices with discipline and commitment, what is said might not register in others. It's only when you arrive there that you understand what was said of the place, event, or happening. It's only with personally going through the experiences that we can vouch for its authenticity and truth. If we haven't tried it it's best not to comment or say things out of assumption. Just like a caterpillar munches happily on a variety of plant leaves or the silkworm is attracted to the mulberry leaves, in my days of reading where I had a ferocious appetite to know and discover almost about everything, I was surprised to read someone claim that a priestly clan used to eat behind closed doors because they consumed beef secretly. I refused to believe that claim. These days I too shut all the doors and windows when I am about to eat for before you know it and before we dip our hands into the food, Mr. Fly flys by and comes by to sit on it. Can someone coming by or passing through assume that I am taking beef with my meal? Making assumptions is pretty dangerous. A similar story is told of an old lady who earned the wrath of Lord Shiva and had huge karma added to her list. A King had hosted a feast for his subjects. But many died after consuming the food. On another occasion, as several traveling sadhus new to the kingdom asks the way to the feast from the old lady, she cautioned them that if they go ahead to consume the food they shall die as the King had killed many before. That is when Lord Shiva instructs the keeper of records Chitraguptha to write the karma that was in waiting after the previous tragedy on this lady. Shiva explained to Chitragupta who wanted to write it on the King that the King was innocent. What could he do if a snake that was in the clutches of an eagle that had caught it was to spit its venom in mid-air and it should drop into the broth that was boiling? But the old lady had without investigating assumed that the King had killed his subjects.

 

This seeker reminds me of my former colleague Sekaran who after falling in love with the teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda stepped into the Yogoda Satsanga Sakha Math, Ranchi. Subsequently after five visits and stay there he decided in 1994 to leave his career, family, and friends to join them becoming a monk. He left me as a parting gift a beautiful painting of Lord Shiva and Paramahansa Yogananda's "Autobiography of A Yogi" and some words of wisdom. I take this moment to thank him for the painting that I worshipped, the book that introduced me, a temple-going lad, to the existence of gurus in physical form, and his advice that I picked up that had taught me self taught to blog and maintain a YouTube Channel.

REACHING OUT TO THE PRAPANJAM

Yesterday just as I was taking my first mouthful of food during lunchtime, a surge of pranic energy passed throughout the body, what I believe resulted from the food that was packed with it. My wife is a good cook and those who had been to AVM shall vouch for her. Though the food was simple and an everyday meal dished out by my wife but it tasted extremely delicious compared to other days. The energy brought much joy that I called over my wife and daughter and fed my two granddaughters too. Though this surprised me I could figure out what was taking place. Similarly, as I brush past and through the branches of the pinwheel flower tree in my garden, picking out the flowers for puja, surges of pranic energy like minute electricity pass from the tree to me. When I stand outdoors or in front of an open window the breeze and air that brushes by invigorates and brings tremendous bliss. It is as though the pores of the skin are open and breathing directly too beside the nostrils and nasal passages. Bathing too is invigorating and refreshing these days, that I have them often. When abhisegam or libation or bathing the Murthy of Agathiyar or his bronze statue, my body and internals are simultaneously cooled down too. These I suppose are prana in action. I remember my first surge of prana enter my body in abundance when I took up and began to practice diligently the pranayama and asana exercises that Tavayogi taught us back then in 2008. If back then it came after much effort, these days it just comes on. Any act for the matter is enjoyed these days bringing immense joy within. I realized my senses were enhanced beginning some years back as my vision improved tremendously, my taste buds were able to pick up and identify the ingredients that go into food, my hearing was enhanced so much so that every noise and sound was amplified manifold, and my breathing cleared. It was as if my being was rejuvenated, the whole body brought alive and connected with the surroundings. 

Before I had the calling through the Nadi, I had already switched to a vegetarian meal on my own accord for no particular reason be it religious, spiritual, or medical reasons. It just happened one day in 1998 that I decided to stop taking non-veg. I never looked back since then. When Agathiyar had other Siddhas address me in the Nadi too, Patanjali asked that I adopt a diet substituting or replacing Rajasic and Tamasic food with Satvic food to bring the body into top form to conform to the demanding needs of Yoga. I then had to cut down my already limited choices of food refraining from what was processed and none-natural. 

I had been practicing yoga by reading books since the eighties. When I was shown to Tavayogi he taught us officially initiating us into the dynamic practice of Asanas and Pranayama in 2008. In 2011, when I succumbed to extreme back pain the doctors and Siddha physicians cleared me of any medical issues like kidney problems, stones, or slip disks. Though I was given a clean sheet the pain never went away. I requested physiotherapy for my back pain as it brought relief at least during these moments of treatment. Agathiyar in the Nadi revealed the reason for my suffering after almost three years. He told me that my yogic practices had resulted in dormant energies arise within. These energies cleared the "house" of blockages besides correcting the three dosas hence resulting in the dosas going haywire. Agathiyar had me stop all my practice totally and immediately. He recommended herbs to consume that would bring back balance to my body and its internals. One fine day after bearing the pain for close to three years, my physiotherapist asked me to perform the five exercises she had given. As I moved into the first pose, something snapped in my lower back and I had immediate relief. It was as if a knot had given way, as if a dam had burst open. I was in ecstasy. I had recovered. Five years later the pain raised its hood again in 2016. I wasn't sure if it came with age, or if I had any ailment and needed treatment. But it went off just as it had come on. Then I suffered the pain again in 2018, this time just as intense as the first. If the first time around it came on as a result of me clearing my throat and spitting out the phlegm that was a morning ritual while taking a bath where this act had tugged on a nerve in my buttocks right down to my right toe, this time around a sneeze pulled on the same nerve again. Agathiyar gave another set of herbs to consume. Finally, his guru Lord Murugan came to heal me with his touch and the brush of peacock feathers, accompanied by the chanting of the Arutperunjothi mantra by those gathered around. I am grateful that the divine, the Siddhas, my gurus, family, and fellow friends in this journey did not desert me in my time of need. 

Then Agathiyar began preparing my body to receive and accommodate the energies of a different kind, their brief presence within. He had to purge my body of toxins accumulated over the years. Agathiyar while recommending a herbal concoction to a couple, made it available to me too. He directed us to Siddha physician Thiru Arivan Aiya. Agathiyar told me later that his Agathiyar Kuzhambu besides being a purgative, strengthens the body too.

Agathiyar Kuzhambu is said to be one among the 32 Siddha medicines taken internally listed in the "Gunapadam Siddha" text literature, which covers a vast area of indications. It contains 11 ingredients which are mentioned in the Siddha formulary of India - part -1, that when combined act as a purgative. Besides being a purgative it is said to cure many diseases too. (Source: Muralidass SD and Shree-Devi MS: “Agathiyar kuzhambu”- not only a purgative- an overview. Int J Pharm Sci & Res 2019; 10(5): 2156-63. doi: 10.13040/IJPSR.0975-8232.10(5).2156-63. and http://ijpsr.com/bft-article/agathiyar-kuzhambu-not-only-a-purgative-an-overview/?view=fulltext)

If Agathiyar Kuzhambu was to be taken six months once, Agathiyar set me on another regime of preparing another concoction from a recipe given by him, taking it daily. I took it for some time. Soon the three dosas were expelled without the need to consume these preparations. Kapha was expelled in the morning hours, Vata during the day, and Pitha as I retired for bed. Then its frequency doubled to two cycles of each a day at particular hours. These days the body expels them as and when they begin to accumulate. The body aches at times before it resides just as it comes on. As Agathiyar forewarned me, my body has begun to stink. I guess this is the reason the Saints went into hiding for a brief period in their lives where these drastic changes and transformations took place. Now I understand what Jnana Jothiamma went through in the many emails she wrote to me on her experiences and sufferings. I guess there is a price you pay for transforming the Asudha deham to that of Suddha deham and later to Pranava deham and finally the Gnana deham. Hence I have come to figure out why he shut down AVM and asked that I stay indoors. 

Agathiyar set me to continue from where I had left the Yogic practices given by Tavayogi telling me that I shall know which to do (so that the back pain doesn't recur). I am careful with carrying on the practices these days. Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal came often to fine-tune the breathing techniques as taught by the Siddhas in the Nadi and personally by Tavayogi. Agathiyar taught us the right way to take a shower without jolting the body that prevents slag in the nerves in old age. He asks that we sprinkle water thrice over the top of the head and then go on to wet our feet. Then we pour water over our limbs beginning with the legs, moving to the torso and abdomen till the shoulder. Then wash the face thrice and only then pour water over the head. If we are dipping in the stream, river, or ocean we do accordingly too. Elsewhere, we are told to retain water in our mouths too while bathing and taught to take water in sips rather than in large gulps by those adopting the Siddha way. Finally, Bhogar asks us to appreciate and acknowledge nature and learn to love all of nature and live with it. This is the first step in linking with the prapanjam.

STORIES TO PONDER ON 3

It is said that Ramalinga Adigal summoned his followers during the last moments of his disappearance and reminded them to worship the light that he had worshipped in his room in Sidhivalagam Thirumaligai some time back and gave them some instructions and some words of advice. Marshall Govindan in his book, "Babaji and the 18 Siddha Kriya Yoga Tradition", 1991, Kriya Yoga Publications, Canada, reproduced with permission via e-mail writes,

Towards the end of 1873, he placed outside the door of his room the oil lamp that Ramalinga had been using inside. He asked his disciples to worship it and keep it burning forever. He asked them to imagine the supreme grace light manifested in it and to pray to him for grace. He issued instructions to his disciples that except for the burning of camphor, no ritual be performed. Devotees should pray silently, filled with love of God. And enter into ecstasy.

When the time came for him to move on, he released a statement. 

On the auspicious day of January 30th, 1874 at the age of 50, Ramalinga wrote and released to his devotees the following statement: “My beloved ones! I have to be out of your sight for a time. Do not worry. Keep the light of the lamp (Gnana deepam) burning forever. Imagine that God is there and worship the light. You will be amply rewarded. I am in the body now and after a while; I shall enter into all the bodies of his creation. Close the door and lock it from outside. The room, if ordered to be opened, will only be void.”

When locals reported to the officials they came over and opened the door to find him missing. Many assumptions were made but no one knew for sure what transpired after he went into his room and had his followers lock the door from outside. All his followers had to go by and reported were his words, "I shall enter into all the bodies of his creation. Close the door and lock it from outside. The room, if ordered to be opened, will only be void." Just as Lord Murugan and Agathiyar only reveal the truth of what had taken place many years on, the mystery of Ramalinga Adigal's disappearance was revealed through Mother Mira Alfassa who was an aid of Sri Aurobindo of Pondicherry some 104 years on in 14-1-1978. An article in the website http://www.ramalinga.com states that Mother Mira had seen the happenings that took place on that Friday night when Ramalinga Adigal attained the Jothi in Sidhivalagam Thirumaligai during her meditation. This is indeed a rare account of the mystery behind Ramalinga Adigal’s disappearance. I reproduce below the said article "A Vision of Dematerialization of Ramalinga's Living Body" by Gangadharan, a disciple of Mother Mira Alfassa.

“On the first day of the Tamil month of Thai (14-1-1978) I had a continuous vision in my usual meditation in the night: the vision of de-materialization of the physical body of Swami Ramalinga into and as the truth-light of supreme grace which contains or possesses in itself supreme compassion and bliss of grace. Though I have had occasions to ascend into and remain for some time in the truth-world of grace-light where from I could see the earth as part of the universe, the said vision came to me when my consciousness was on the earth itself.”

“To begin with, I sensed an ineffable silence and peace prevailing everywhere and I heard continuously Paranada, the mysterious divine sound. Then the vision broke out.”

“A small village was seen in its simple and beautiful surroundings. There was the concrete presence of the supreme and universal divine with the beautiful truth-light of grace and fragrance, which enriched the place all the more and enraptured my heart with ever-increasing aspiration for grace. At the center of the village was seen a small house. Sweet fragrance of grace radiated everywhere from the house.”

“Vallalar was seen entering the house. His face was calm and peaceful. His whole body was radiating the light of grace. Besides, his body was of silken or light golden shining color. He stepped into his room, closed the doors, and bolted inside. At that time there was the concrete presence of the supreme and universal divine in the room. The presence could be sensed even physically and even by the born-blind. There was also silence, peace, fragrance, and the light of grace due to the presence.”

“Vallalar sat on a white cloth spread on a low wooden plank and began to concentrate. In that poise, he was seen as a mountain of truth-knowledge with the truth-light of grace and peace and fire of tapas. He was verily a supreme form of the divine. Flood of light was radiating from his pure and luminous body into all the directions.”

“Supreme grace, supreme compassion, and the light of grace are expressive of the secret truth that they hold the key for transformation of physical body into the deathless physical body of grace in its eternal youthfulness. One has to live in the depth of the ocean of blissful grace-light for being transformed into the divine nature and as the divine body. The intensity of the flood of light that radiated from his whole body was very powerful and one shall have the strength and capacity to bear and receive it. My whole body vibrated with a joy and pleasantness because of the vision of light of his body.”

“After sometime of concentration, he rose up and saw the physical sky. Full moon was shedding its blissful cool rays over the earth. A little distance away from the moon was seen a very bright dazzling star of light. Vallalar poured his concentrated gaze at it for some time. He became enraptured with blissful joy in the heart, which radiated on his face. A little time thereafter, he again sat on the white seat of the plank and entered into deep concentration.”

“Though Vallalar was inside the closed and bolted room, he could see clearly the whole universe with its tiers of many worlds of mind, life and the physical including the physical earth and sky with its moon, stars and clouds.”

“When he was thus absorbed in deep concentration, an effulgent truth-light of grace broke out from his heart and with its unique heat began to burn his radiant physical body very slowly, as at a snail's speed, and that in an upward direction, from the heart towards the head. The burning of the body may be somewhat likened to that of an incense-stick which however burns downwards by its inner heat of fire, forming ash covering but without the falling down of the ash-form. When the upper part of his radiant body was burnt completely from heart to head, there was left in its place a form of pure white substance, which also radiated its light of consciousness. The burnt part, however, showed all its features intact and clearly and even the burnt hair of his head was seen distinctly as luminous white hair. Then the heat of the pure light of grace descended to burn the lower part.”

“After the whole body was thus burnt, Vallalar was seen as a bodily form of pure white substance from head to foot, radiating its light. The white form kept intact all the different kinds of cells of his body and all the distinctive features and formations of his interior and exterior body. His bodily form did not shrink in size after the burning. I saw no visible flame nor sensed its heat during the burning of his living body, nor smoke, nor any bad smell as of burnt tissues, nor heard any cracking noise as of burnt bones. Instead, there was a sweet fragrance since the time his body began to burn and it spread everywhere. I sensed in my heart an ineffable calmness and silence, which gave me in turn a state of bliss.”

“Now a second stage of burning began. The unique heat of grace-light began to burn slowly Valalalar's luminous form of white substance from head to foot downwards. When his white substance-form full of its radiating light, was thus burnt completely, the white substance became very fine sub-atomic conscious particles, which permeated and pervaded the entire universe and the farther pure worlds of consciousness beyond. The fine, white and conscious particles with its radiating light also entered into and got distributed everywhere in the earth and even in matter. After the universal pervasive distribution of the particles, they could be seen no more and disappeared from my sight. Now there pervaded everywhere the sweet, soft and fine fragrance of camphor which gave my body a blissful sensation and enraptured my heart as well.”

“Then I had the rare vision of Vallalar's universal luminous golden form. In fact, the immensity of his golden form contained in it the whole universe. This form too disappeared from my view and was replaced by another vision in which I saw the golden light of truth-knowledge and grace entering into all the directions more speedily than the lightning. It permeated and pervaded the whole universe and the farther pure worlds of consciousness. It entered into our earth and all its crores of the physical forms of beings and objects and in the apparently insensible matter and even in the very dark realm of the vast in conscience. All the forms that were permeated by the golden light of truth changed into golden forms of beings and objects. The golden light entered into my whole Adhara including the physical body. My body felt in all the cells vibrations of ease and pleasantness.”

“Then I heard some words of grace. However, they were indistinctly heard and could not be deciphered, as I was absorbed in a rapture of bliss due to the sublime vision and experiences. Thus, the vision lasted an hour of time and ended.”

We are blessed to come across this wonderful revelation that brings to light the process that is much talked about becoming light. Hearing Ramalinga Adigal becoming light and later when Tavayogi told us that Ramalinga Adigal's devotee Jeganatha Swamigal's body emitted light as he was laid in Samadhi in 1959 at Tapah, Perak, Malaysia, I told Tavayogi that I wanted to see him perform the same feat. He replied that he had missed the boat as the transformation has to happen before the age of 60. Tavayogi was 69 when I met him in Malaysia. However, he told me his end would be in the form of Sahaja Samadhi. 

Sahaj samadhi is a type of samadhi, or "deep spiritual bliss," which yogis believe to be their natural state. Many consider sahaj samadhi to be the highest, or the most complete level of samadhi. It is said to be unconditioned, non-dualistic and uncontrived; and, as a state, it is always accessible to the wise and those who have burned their past karma. (Source: https://www.yogapedia.com/definition/6224/sahaj-samadhi)

Then when Jnana Jothiamma came along I was eagerly waiting for her to achieve that state. But Agathiyar took her with him abruptly putting an end to all the plans laid for her. I believe her love for him overshadowed all the gifts and treasures that awaited her, all the adoration and respect that was due to come her way and all the power and authority that came with it.  

But I am consoled by Supramania Swami who told me that he had seen the light or Jhothi days before he passed on, on 7 February 2007. Agathiyar came in the Nadi that weekend and told me that it was true that Supramania Swami had gone into Samadhi. Dhavantri came after Tavayogi's demise and told us that Tavayogi would guide us further in the light form. I was overjoyed that he did attain that state after all. Later Dhanvantri told us that our tapas helped to bring him to the state which proved Supramania Swami right when he used to remind me to carry out my tapas diligently so that he shall rise in stature. I guess we help each other achieve his/her objectives. We are glad that we had unknowingly contributed to the well-being of our gurus. 

STORIES TO PONDER ON 2

The first moment I came to know about Ramalinga Adigal was when a chief clerk at my place of work passed me several audio cassettes of the songs of Adigal. I was so drawn by the songs that I looked for the complete collection of his songs on cassette. I managed to find them at a local music outlet. I purchased all that they carried on their shelves. I was so impressed by these songs that I looked for the printed version of his "Arutpa". I managed to find the two-volume edition compiled by Ooran Adigal for the Samarasa Sanmarga Aaraichi Nilaiyam in Vadalur. I treasured them often going through the songs while playing the audio. It was sheer bliss listening to Adigal's songs set to music. I searched the net, bookstores, and frequented ashrams and peedhams wanting to know more about the saint. I was 'hungry' for information on Ramalinga Adigal. In 2003, I bought a scanned copy of his "Agaval" handwritten by him on the grounds of his Satya Gnana Sabai at Vadalur. This was another work of his to be treasured. I picked up several gems among the many, compiled and made them available at https://www.scribd.com/doc/234939257/Anandha-Kalipu

Ramalinga Adigal's songs were pleasant to the ear and I used to listen to them for hours but they did not make much sense then. This was in the early nineties. Although I had listened and read his Thiruarutpa several times before, as we walk his path and gain numerous experiences, we saw a resemblance and similarity in the experiences. He brings us on the same journey. For instance, in his plea to the Lord to open "The Door" and draw aside the curtains or veil and show himself, and take him into his arms and grant the merger, he came to beg of the divine to open the door for us. He comes to ask us to bring the effulgence within us, singing the Maha Mantra Arutperunjothi aloud. 

Ramalinga Adigal's final achievement was a milestone in the history of man's achievement in evolution back to the source and origin. And to think that he was neither an avatar nor fell from the sky or heavens. He was just like us born to parents and raised by them with another four siblings. 

Jnana Jyothiamma was blessed to set foot into Ramalinga Adigal's family home in Chennai on 2.8.2014. She had shared her experience at https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2014/08/jnana-jyothi-amma-at-ramalinga-adigals.html

Dear Shan,

It was a beautiful experience at Vallalar's place. It is very old house. The street is so narrow and dingy, with just enough space to walk. Harimanigandan told me that this was Old Madras. The current/present owner of that place is Mr Sripathy ..... I spent around five hours with this gentleman and it was unbelievable ..... I couldn't believe that I was sitting in the same room .... rather the same space/spot .... where Ramalinga Adigal had meditated for months on end, wherein Murugan finally Graced and Blessed him with HIS Dharshan.

How did he do it? Why are those who came later to follow his way and teachings not able or were never close to achieving his state? I guess he had done much of the work and placed the effort in his many previous births and finally achieved it some 147 years back. 

On my very first meeting with Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal in 2005, I fell at his feet as I was about to leave. He stepped back and told me I should only fall at the feet of Agathiyar and no one else. I asked him to pardon me for my ignorance (Ariyaamai) to which he replied, “Ignorance has left you. Arul deham has replaced your Marul deham”. Tavayogi did not add anything further. Neither did I ask for an explanation. These were new words to be added to my vocabulary. I came to realized later that Tavayogi is a man of few words unless he takes the stage to address the public, where he can go on for hours. When Tavayogi mentioned those bodies, I went back to my collections of books for more information as to what he meant. I knew Ramalinga Adigal had sung on the various bodies and the changes that take place in them but his Arutpa songs were incomprehensible. I looked towards translations of them. I learned that Arul deham meant the Body of Grace and Marul deham meant the Delusive body.

Marshall Govindan in his book "Babaji and the 18 Siddhars Kriya Yoga Tradition", 1991, Kriya Yoga Publications, Quebec, Canada, (reproduced with permission via e-mail), describes the transformation from the obvious to the subtle.  

Ramalinga described several successive transformations: The transformation of the mortal human body into the perfect body (Suddha deham), achieved by universal spiritual communion and devotion to god;

In many verse [in the Thiru Arutpa] Ramalinga sings of how his ‘impure body’ of ‘impure elements’ was transformed into a pure body of pure elements, called a golden body of immeasurable carats (Swarna deham). He sings that one has to think incessantly, until he feels and melts with love for God. In such a melting mood one bursts into tears and sings praise of god and soothing warmth is produced in the aspirant. When this universal love and sacred warmth develops, the body as well as the soul became prepared for the descent of the grace, in the form of light.

Rao Saheb K. Kothandapani Pillai BA in the foreword to Dr. C Srinivasan's " An Introduction to the Philosophy of Saint Ramalingam", writes,

These transformations occur in the body of the aspirant according to the intensity of spiritual warmth produced in him. The body is deprived of all its dross or impurities and made pure, fit for divine absorption (Suddha deham). 

The above is the transition from the path of Sariyai moving into Kriyai. Next is,

The transformation of perfect body (Suddha deham) into the body of grace and light (Pranava deham);

The above is the transition to attain the Pranava deham through Yoga. 

Rao Saheb K. Kothandapani Pillai wrote,

Conquest of death by imbibing supreme grace is the quintessence of his philosophy. The more he ascended in his holy pursuit the more was the descent of divinity in him.

If in all the above stages of progressive spiritual evolution we worked our way by adopting numerous methods and were required to place a concerted effort, that was driven by a burning desire to achieve the goal, which needed to be kept alive by strict adherence to the regimes and kept in check by self-discipline, the following stage is possible and attainable only by divine grace coming within this vessel and working its way in us.

In addition, the transformation into the body of wisdom (Gnana deham) and into the body of God supreme...The ultimate and greatest transformation in human evolution: a transmutation into the Godhead, which he referred to as merging with the body of supreme wisdom - the body of God supreme (Gnana deham).

We do not know how the Siddhas reached the above states as their documentation of similar experiences in the form of songs in the Tamil language of their era is difficult to comprehend and is heavily coded in Paribasai, we are told. A single word and a song could have several meanings according to the subject studying it. It could be interpreted in many ways. It would not be possible to decode or decipher them correctly unless the Siddhas themselves come to reveal what they wrote. But Ramalinga Adigal chose to document his religious and spiritual experiences in his Arutpa in a language that is comprehensible to the commoner too. He wanted everyone to come to have the divine experiences as he did. He did not hide it behind words that were incomprehensible, for of what use would that be to the layman who would then be deprived of an equal opportunity to reach the state of God.

Ramalinga Adigal in my eyes evolved to the state of God. He walked in our midst encouraging us to reach his state too. He proved that it was possible for anyone to achieve it. But why were his followers not able to follow in his footsteps and achieve the said state? By all means, they should have reached Godhead in droves? Were they not committed enough to the saint's cause? In the past two centuries after he dispersed his mortal frame back to its elements we have yet to see another perform a similar feat. Let us forget about the others, can you and I do it? As Pon. Govindasamy reveals the Divine's plan, in his book "Vallalaarum Brahma Gnana Sangamum", Bharath Book Bureau, Chennai, that the mission of the Divine is to save the souls that are riddled, locked, and chained by Aanavam, Kanmam, and Maayai and bring them back to his state of purity, the only obstacle then is the Self that is chained to these three impurities or Malam. The Siddhas have come as a savior to release us from this bond. We are here to transform this body to its basic elemental state that is beyond the meat and flesh of the physical body and its internal organs that have tagged along with our baggage of karma in all our years of living. The greatest challenge yet for us is to transform this body into light particles.

As he spoke his last words, on January 30th, 1874 at the age of 50, "I am in the body now and after a while; I shall enter into all the bodies of his creation. Close the door and lock it from outside. The room, if ordered to be opened, will only be void",  that was true Samadhi indeed, merging with the source.

S. Shivajayakumar in an article on the net describes this dematerialization of Ramalinga Adigal within the four walls of Sidhi Valakam.

Therefore, Vallalar on his own has considered it necessary to disintegrate the divine constitution and disperse the sparks in every soul as seeds are sown in the fields.... His dematerialization of the physical body is not for re-materialization but to disintegrate his whole being permanently like the virtual particles which fill the cosmos.”