THE BEST MOMENT IS THE PRESENT

In my twenties, I thought life was about adding on more knowledge, earning a living, having a family, and eventually passing away. This was the norm we saw around us. Everyone did this, and so were we expected to do the same. I, too, followed the rests. I had an education made available by my parents. Furthermore, I had a secure job that brought security and satisfaction. I got married as everyone does and had a family of my own. Somehow looking back on all our ideals it's about ownership and possession of people and things, positions and authority, wealth and property. So coming to the religious and later spiritual path, I thought that it was similarly about adding on to our status. To be aligned with a religious and spiritual establishment or movement added a crown to our existing achievements in the material world. Besides serving the family, one takes up serving the community and society, eager to see recognition and honor bestowed on him.

Having come to the worship of the Siddhas taking up the call in the Nadi by Agathiyar and later having come to the path conducting rituals as shown by Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal, today as I stand on my own feet, watching all that that took place and is taking place both around and within me, I realize that life is not about grabbing more for ourselves, and about hoarding them but to give and share. It is time to give back in some way for all that the divine has given us till this moment.

I came to realize that it is time we shed and drop our hold on all things. How can the divine fill us with his divine wisdom or gnanam if we come filled with academic knowledge of the divine? We need to come to him with an open mind, losing all that we had gathered and learned before. We have to stand naked before him. This is why we see sadhus taking this literally go around naked and semi-naked. One has to drop all that he holds dear to him. Only then shall the Dearest come within him to reside, building his nest as my granddaughter builds hers. We have to give way to the divine to run our lives. He shall dictate from within the rest of the course of our journey, building the scenarios and bringing on the conducive circumstances and moments henceforth for our final marriage or merger with him.   

All these need prior commitment and engagement and effort on our path. Sariyai, Kriyai, Yogam prepare and lead us to this divine understanding or Gnanam. We are normally unaware of the air around us until a breeze blows or there is an aroma in the air. A simple act of lighting an incense leads our senses to its aroma and turns us on to the conducive state of meditation. The lighting of incense sticks makes us connect with our breath. The mind then becomes aware of it and moves towards the source of it. It is easier for the mind to follow the breath then. These and many other rituals aid in calming down the mind and subduing it, bringing it to a state of relaxation and eventually to meditation. The picture or idol that is an aid to concentration initially is not required when meditation takes place. The japa or recitation or chanting of names and mantra respectively is a means to enter the state of meditation. The chanting of the mantra drops on its own when meditation takes place. When the chanting and singing stop on their own accord, we move into a state of silence that brings on the bliss that is multifold in degree compared to the joy in singing his praise. Eventually we lose awareness of the body that was a vehicle and carried us along this spiritual, journey. That is samadhi. 

I believe the divine facilitates the transition for us to drop everything we hold on to towards the merger, if only we heed the call of nature. As we age, teeth drops, bringing us to eat less as we cannot bite solid food with our gums. We opt for soft and often satvic meals. The eyesight fails, stopping us from peering into the existing world and be lured further by its sights. Mobility is hindered, forcing us to sit in a place. As all the responsibilities have been settled, one can now use these private moments to be with the divine, sitting in contemplation.  

But why wait for old age to set in to go within forcefully when the greatest achievement would be to attempt it in our heydays when we are both alert and healthy. 

Supramania Swami told me he had seen the jothi days before his passing away. Tavayogi told me that the transformation to jothi has to take place before the age of 60, admitting that he had missed performing that feat. But Dhanvanatri told us after his passing away that he had become jothi. Agathiyar reminds us tactfully of the need to engage in the search and transforming oneself while all the senses are intact and receptive. The following song is listed to have been written by Agathiyar. He places himself in our position and sees himself face old age and death. 

At that moment of inability, immobility, and gone senile, or with acute illness, he says he might not be able to utter the name of Lord Narayana, hence he reminds us to take the opportunity to sing the praise of the Lord right now at this very moment while we are hale and healthy, quite akin to saving for a raining day.

At that hour when death approaches me I am not sure if I will remember you, hence I am remembering you now Narayana, please take heed of my calling, 

When kapam or phlegm arises and my tongue quivers, I am not sure if I will remember you, hence I am calling you now so that you would appear then to save me, Lord Narayana, 

When vayu or the vital air comes to a halt, and all senses seize to function, and my soul begins to leave, I am not sure if I would be thinking of you, hence I call out to you now so that you come to my aid then,

When all that I thought was mine suddenly is of no significance and importance at the time of death, I am not sure if I will remember you my Lord, but nevertheless, I pray that you would come then Lord Narayana, hence I am calling you out now, 

When Yama's servants appear to bind and take me away, I cannot promise that I would think of you, hence I call you now my Lord, 

When my next of kin surround my death bed and wail and cry out, I don't know if your thought will arise in me, hence I cry out for you my Lord this very moment, so that you would appear to save me during my final moments! and so the song goes on.

This is what we should be doing daily for we might not be even able to say his name, let alone call out to him to save us in our hour of need.

நாராயணா ஸ்ரீமத் நாராயணா
பத்ரி நாராயணா ஹரி நாராயணா
நாராயணா ஸத்ய நாராயணா
சூர்ய நாராயணா லக்ஷ்மி நாராயணா

நொந்துடலும் கிழமாகித் தளர்ந்தபின்
நோயில் நடுங்கிடும் போது – ஜீவ
நாடிகள் நைந்திடும் போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – இன்று
கசிந்துன்னைக் கூவுகின்றேன் அருள் 

செய்திடுவாய் ஹரி நாராயணா

நீடு கபம் கோழை ஈழை நெருக்கி – என்
நெஞ்சை அடைத்திடும் போது
நாவும் குழறியபோது – மனம் உன்னை
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – நான்
அன்றுனைக் கூவிட இன்றழைத்தேன் எனை
ஆண்டருள்வாய் ஹரி நாராயணா

ஐம்பொறியும் கரணங்களும் வாயுவும்
ஆடி அடங்கிடும் போது – எந்தன்
ஆவி பிரிந்திடும்போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – இன்று
நம்பி உனைத் தொழுதே அழைத்தேன்
ஜகன் நாயகனே ஹரி நாராயணா

உற்றவர் பெற்றவர் மற்றவர் சுற்றமும்
ஒவென்று நின்றழும்போது – உயிர்
ஓசைகள் ஓய்ந்திடும்போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – இன்று
பற்றி உனைப் பணிந்தே அழைத்தேன் – ஆபத்
பாந்தவனே ஹரி நாராயணா

என்பொருள் என்மனை என்றதெல்லாம் இனி
இல்லை என்றாகிடும் போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – நீ
அன்று வரும் பொருட்டின்றழைத்தேன் அருள்
அச்சுதனே ஹரி நாராயணா

வந்தமெதூர் வளைத்து பிரித்தெனை
வாவென்றிழுத்திடும் போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – அந்த
அந்தியம் நீ வர இன்றழைத்தேன்
ஸச்சிதானந்தனே ஹரி நாராயணா

Indeed the time is never better than the present moment to engage with the divine if we have not done that till now. If we keep postponing we shall never find the time to begin. That is the dark cloud of Maya that hovers over us and pulls us away to engage with other things of the world. Understandably the lure of Maya is too strong for many to conquer alone including me, this is where we rope in the help from the divine. They send their angels and messengers and at times come personally to clear the dark clouds, bring strength in us to face our inner fears, doubts, etc, and tear down the veil of ignorance and disillusion.

And it all begins with a simple puja at home. The personal puja brings in immense blessings. Each individual should engage in a personal puja. But most of the time as in many things we look for proxies to do even worship and rituals. At the final moment when we face death no one comes to our defense except the divine. So let us reach out to the divine now itself as Agathiyar motions us. 

THE COMING OF THE DIVINE

Manikavasagar describes how Erai came to change his hold on the body bringing him to regard it as a treasure whenceforth he brought him into his company and fold.

"Residing in a dwelling made of meat walls and with numerous openings, and a false roof, with worms crawling within, when damaged, fluids begin to flow, whence I am tossed about in an endless whirlpool of suffering; when such a dwelling is regarded as real and turned towards the sparkle of the gem-studded Erai, he brings me into his fold and company of his servants."

பொத்தை ஊன் சுவர் புழுப்பொதிந்து உளுத்து அசும்பு ஒழுகிய பொய்க்கூரை
இத்தை மெய்யெனக் கருதி நின்று இடர்க் கடல் சுழித்தலைப் படுவேனை
முத்து மாமணி மாணிக்க வயிரத்த பவளத்தின் முழுச் சோதி
அத்தன் ஆண்டு தன் அடியரில் கூட்டிய அதிசயம் கண்டோமே

That is how Agathiyar came too to us as Gnanam. Gnanam sheds light on the truth and false.  If we were quite satisfied as an occasional temple-going devotee in the past he brought us to his Siddha path and his fold and company, giving us a new direction. Giving us a new opening to a new understanding he had us seek and search and experience and learn before he began to furnish the facts. Phasing out Sariyai that was shown to us by our parents and ancestors, and Kriyai and Yogam that was shown by our gurus in physical form now we are prepared by him to enter the realm of Gnanam. But this is not gifted as I had thought. This too needs our effort just as we had placed efforts in the three previous stages of climbing the spiritual ladder. Bringing us into Kriyai from Sariyai and moving us to Yogam we now stand on the threshold of Gnanam waiting for the veil to be drawn apart and the truth exposed. It is the moment of revelation like that of flowering. If the guru came to dispel the darkness bringing in his light, we now take up the light within us, nurture it to attain the greater Light. Then the light shall shine forever and from within. From http://www.ramalinga.com we learn that,

These great saints saw a Column of Light rising above the Sahasrara up to the Divinity. The Column of Light starts to be formed in the states previous to the full Realization of the Golden Body. In one who realizes the Golden Deathless Body, an indissoluble bond is established with the Divinity through this Column of Light. Till this moment, one must make an effort ascending to the Divinity, later having to descend again to the physical level, nevertheless on having been settled the Column of Light one does not need to continue doing this effort, but from this time the Divinity descends on oneself. The one in whom the Column of Light is settled enjoy the continual experience on the Divinity, who, on having descended, resides in one's own Heart (as shining Sun) and fills with Himself the whole Being gradually, even the physical body (which, cell by cell, is completely transmuted up to becoming divine).

At first, the above-mentioned experience has not the same intensity all the time. Moved by His great Compassion, God takes the maximum care of the possible aftereffect in the physical body and that's why He is alternating the intensity to manifest Himself as Divine Light. Sometimes His resplendence is very soft whereas on other occasions It becomes the most intense, seeming that one is going to be melted in It. This experience on God fills the Self with Divine Love and Compassion, which overflow from the Heart like a river flowing endlessly towards the other beings.

Yogi Ramsuratkumar is said to have mentioned that at times he was ecstatic and at other times very ordinary.

Little by little, God is increasing by degrees the intensity of Light and one is becoming accustomed to it, until the time comes when God manifests Himself wholly. Then the Column of Light shines from beginning to end with Its entire splendor. It isn’t visible, except in very rare occasions. This Column of Light is truly the embodied Divine Jothi, which burns constantly so that the Divine Light radiates coming to all the beings. This is the Full God's Manifestation in the Earth.

Ramalinga Adigal sang his experience so that we too should gain it. Its translation, to my ability, goes as follows:

As night became day, I was shown the Holy Feet,
I embraced it,
I partook in the divine nectar.

As dawn broke, I was delivered the Holy Feet,
I touched and offered my salutations to it,
I became cleansed.

Sleep left me, the Sun appeared,
the yearning wilted,
I partook in the ambrosia.

Sorrow wilted, sleep was eradicated,
joy came upon me,
the yearning was fulfilled.

Gnanam arose, the divine music was heard,
false knowledge wilted,
I saw Sirsabai.

The veils were thorn away asunder, I beheld the light,
Parai Oli shown with all its luminosity,
My prayers were answered.

The darkness within me left, the light from within me shown brightly,
I tasted the nectar,
to my heart's content.

I saw my Father, all obstacles were removed,
I rejoiced,
I received Siddhis.

I saw my Father, I received the gift of Deathlessness,
I rejoiced,
I conquered Siddhi.

I achieved Mukthi, with this Mukthi I attained Gnana Siddhi,
Taking on these Siddhis,
I became a Siddha.

The young Thirugnanasambandhar took the hands of his wife in marriage and led all those who came to witness his marriage into the Jhoti and merged with it at Nallur. Similarly, the elder Thirunavukarasar held on to the feet of Erai and burst into combustion, and merged with Erai at Thirupugalur, just as the camphor burns and vanishes into thin air. Sundarar mounted an elephant that was sent by Lord Shiva while his friend Cheraman Perumal followed closely behind on a horse at Thiruvanjai. Both reached Erai's kingdom in the physical form. In recent times we know of Ramalinga Adigal who transformed his body to merge with Erai and all of creation. Agathiyar in trying to pacify Tavayogi's daughter told her that Lord Shiva and Parvathi will come on a Puspa Vimanam to bring his soul back with him. Soon after Tavayogi passed away a devotee had a dream where she saw Tavayogi seated with several others dressed in white on a boat that was rowed across the waters by Lord Shiva heading for the other bank where there were many Siddhas, Rishis, Munis, sages, and saints going about their chores.

What then is expected of us after this? Nothing. All our efforts and attempt comes to a standstill. From inertia to activity and back to inertia, we come one full circle. Donald S. Lopez, Jr. writes at https://tricycle.org/magazine/first-there-mountain-then-there-no-mountain/

During the Tang Dynasty, the Chinese Ch’an [Zen in Japanese] master Qingyuan Weixin famously wrote: “Before I had studied Ch’an for thirty years, I saw mountains as mountains and rivers as rivers. When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and rivers are not rivers. But now that I have got its very substance, I am at rest. For it’s just that I see mountains once again as mountains, and rivers once again as rivers.” First, there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.

COME ON MEN, PLEASE CHANGE

Just as Siddha physician Dr. Bhani spoke about how a particular song of saint Avvai carried several meanings according to the state of our evolvement and advancement, we tend to view God differently as we travel this path of discovery. The Dr. as a child and student in the school was told that the song was one of praise to Lord Ganapathy. When he took up Siddha medicine as his profession, his guru told him that the song referred to herbs and treatment of illness. Finally, when he became a disciple of Yogi Ramaiah he was told that the song referred to the attainment of Gnanam.

When I attended a brief engagement ceremony at a temple I was automatically brought to and pulled into the rituals that were conducted by the temple priest. He invoked Lord Ganapathy in the water vessel or kumbam or kudam and sang his praise prior to announcing the engagement of these youngsters. Except for the couple and their parents who sat with the priest to conduct the ritual of invocation, and were guided accordingly sadly the others had no idea what was going on. Neither did they care. They were engaged in talk. They failed to realize the auspiciousness of the moment. Come on man! We have invited God into our presence. Should not we show some respect to the Almighty? When we rise from our seats or raise our eyebrows the moment royalty or dignitaries or movie personalities drop in on an event, here we have invoked God and no one gives a damn!

When we placed the statue of the Urchava murthy's including Agathiyar from AVM on a small chariot and circumambulated the Mayuranathar temple in Dengkil, a devotee who attended the puja, kept talking all the way with another while following the chariot. What is the point in joining the walk and accompanying the divine if you are engrossed in continuous talk? Of course, they were not from the AVM family. The temple priest has a duty to remind devotees, highlighting the moments when we are to observe silence, explaining the significance of these rituals, and asking devotees or attendees that they show some respect in the house of God. But this does not happen. As poet Kannadhasan explained in his series "Arthamulla Indhu Mattham" that we play the nadaswaram to counter the negative talks if there was any that go on during these auspicious moments and other ceremonies, loud music is blasted at the temples to drown out these talks. Once at a temple puja the priest gave way for the members of the temple committee to sing the praise of God in Tamil as is customary and usually carried by Othuvars in most temples. Four elderly men sang a string of songs. When the priest continued in Sanskrit these men went back to their talk. I was surprised that the priest who was obviously irritated stopped singing suddenly. What was heard in the silence that prevailed then was the voices of these four men talking aloud. As they were of old age and hard of hearing and as the music was blaring load at the venue they spoke loud to be heard. It was indeed an embarrassing moment provided they were not thick skin. 

The AVM family is a disciplined lot. In all the pujas we held no one picks up the phone to answer or distracts others with their talk. They observe the puja and come up when called for to participate as they understood that incessant talk hinders the thoughts of the other devotees and disrupts the vibrations and energy that prevail. But when we are conducting puja in a public place we cannot dictate nor control others. But yet members of AVM did let loose of their guard. When we made our journey to India to participate in the opening of the new Kallar ashram premises, we dropped in on numerous temples along the way. Being youngsters they carried their stories and jokes into the compounds of the temple right until they stood before the deity at the inner sanctum where only then they quieted down. After visiting Swamimalai I told the commander-in-chief of the delegation it had to stop. We should learn to pay respect to the deity residing in these temples. The message was delivered and they all abide till the end of our pilgrimage. On another occasion where we went on a spiritual tour of local temples in Malaysia, we reminded the entourage that the cave temple in Sungai Siput was sacred as the Siddhas were still meditating in it. Everyone abided by the rule to observe silence. As we left the cave temple to board our bus, another busload of travelers and devotees rushed into the cave temple conversing loudly which saddened me. I was sad that people do not know when to switch off their talk. I guess the day God pulls the plug and their breath leaves their body, that is the day they stop talking.

As I used to frequent bookshops seeking books on Siddhas I had to point out to the manager not to place the granite statues of our Gods and Goddesses on the floor as we tend to kick them as we reach for the books displayed in the racks. During the next visit, I was surprised to see these statues placed in a separate room where we had to remove our shoes too. The manager had taken heed of my observation.

I too was one who never knew the significance of the rituals done during the auspicious moments back then. I only understood its significance after I came to conduct rituals myself. I invoked the Siddhas and deities. The Siddhas came immediately and brought the deities along. So these days I can connect and understand the meanings of these rituals that are merely seen as symbolic in our culture, tradition, and religion. Now I understand how and why my guru Supramania Swami could sit for one solid hour without moving a limb or moving his eyelid staring at the abhisegam done to the Sivalingam installed above his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar's samadhi. These days when I opt to bathe Agathiyar's bronze statue I feel a coolness drench my body too which reminds me of Agathiyar telling me that he was pleased that I had cooled him down, என்னை நீ குளிர வைத்தாய். The rituals are not some fancy stuff but indeed connect us to the divine.

This brings me to the concept of the temple that has been lost in time. When one studies the structure of the age-old temples and their surroundings we realize the significance of every stone and structure laid in place. Our ancestors never lighted these ancient temples brightly. Devotees who walk in from the bright outdoors and the sunlight come within the inner walls and into the partially covered verandahs of the temples where the light dims. The eyes are given sufficient time to accommodate the dim natural light that comes through and within from carefully aligned openings. If he was accustomed to the noises outside in slowly making his way walking past the high walls of the temple and into the partially covered area and finally into the fully covered spaces of the temple, the devotee hears little of the din, bustle, and noise of the world outside. His thought and mind are brought into focus and he begins to concentrate on seeing the deity and getting his or her darshan. Standing before the deity he is shown the face of God only during the moments of Arathi or showing of the camphor flame. So the devotee is on the lookout lest he misses that split moment of darshan. These days with the advent of electricity temples are brightly lit and man's sight and vision are dispersed in all directions. Another culprit that distracts our attention these days is smartphones. We have become so engrossed in recording these moments that we fail to live in them. We have become so dependant on the camera lens to capture these magical moments and the memory card to store and keep a record of these memories rather than engage our senses in capturing these rare moments and store these sights and sounds in our memories.

Another sad thing that takes place is when man and his establishments begin to take control of sacred spots in the wild and in nature and turn it into a temple or a place of worship too. First, he brings in a painting, then a statue and rituals follow. Word spreads and devotees come in throngs. The aftermath is that they litter the place. The very sanctity of the place changes or is lost. When Tavayogi took me to the Uthiyur caves in 2005 where he had meditated during his days of roaming throughout India, it was a bare and empty cave. When I went again with the AVM family in 2016 there were paintings of Siddhas and used clay oil lamps scattered all over. We cleaned and tidied up the place. When Tavayogi took me to a cave in Kutrallam he was surprised to see Agathiyar's cave renamed Avvai Kugai. When I visited the cave temple in Sungai Siput with my family the first time there were already buntings of paintings of the Siddhas all over and stone statues too aligned in the cave.  This is how things are tainted or changed over time with the advent of man into regions that were once inaccessible except to the few who shun society and walked away from all luxuries in search of the divine. Can we not return from these places without disturbing them? The nomads in the plains of Siberia surprised me in a documentary when after they dismantled the tents that they had pitch earlier to graze their animals, they made good the area they occupied never leaving a trace of them being there. We on the other hand spoil everything. Great saints too would never leave a trace or footprint of their existence. Agathiyar asked us if there were any ashrams built and left by them? What we see existing now is a product of men who came after them.

I used to ask Agathiyar why Kallar ashram was not a crowd puller as we see many other ashrams pull in the crowd. When people come donations pour in. These ashrams need to be maintained and sustained. They need to foot the bill for food that is served free and to pay the utility bills. Agathiyar replied bluntly that no crowd would gather there. Only those seeking Gnanam shall drop by. This is a rare find and rare to come by and spaced far apart. Speaking to a devotee who had visited Kallar Ashram several days before and who shared her photos in my last post she felt that it was a blessing that very few visits this ashram as Kallar Ashram could still maintain its cleanliness, beauty, and vibrancy.  Indeed it is true. Watching a documentary on China we are shown droves of devotees making their way up steep tracks and steps to a temple perched atop a mountain immediately after the lockdown was lifted. Sadly while these people made their way up, a group of workers had to let themselves down into the ravine and deep gorges using ropes to hold on to and hanging precariously off the face of these slopes and rocks, picked up all the rubbish and plastics visitors threw into the ravine. On the other hand, I was surprised to see a documentary where Chinese school children come to school and cleaned it up before starting classes. I dread to think what would happen if our schoolchildren were given these tasks in school. Parents would break into the school office and make a scene. It is understandable when many homes have maids these days and the child doesn't even wash up his or her plates after having his food, and the man of the house has the maid pick up the glass from which he drank, how would they allow their child to clean a public toilet in school? Gandhi stands aloof and gains my respect when he had his wife Mirabai clean the toilet with him and others at his hermitage. When I held the post of the President of the Parents-Teachers Association in the school where my daughter studied a parent told the teachers to discipline his kid. I told him that it was not their job. As it is the teachers were overworked. I held my stand that it was the parents who should discipline their kids. How can a child ride his parent's motor without their knowledge I asked him?

In India I understood that the authorities had banned people from climbing Arunachala hill some years back for in their eagerness to visit sadhus and saints in the caves, the public left behind rubbish and littered the place. Cigarette butts thrown around had ignited bush fires too. Even the sadhus residing on the hill were asked to come down I understood to prevent public venturing up the hill. Man spoils nature by his habits. But there are some cultures that make us proud. I was amazed to see a Japanese man in my school days walk the length of the railway station at Taiping looking for a trash can or rubbish bin to place his cigarette butt in. Finding none what could he do but to throw it aside. Some years back as I was peeing in the washroom at a mall that has its origin in Japan, the supervisor walked in with the cleaner to inspect it. I was surprised to see him go beyond visual surveillance or checks and dipped his hand into the strainer in the urinal and lifted it to inspect further. The Japanese are known to be very particular about cleanliness and their surroundings having being trained in the family and in school further. When our children are taught to read and write the first day in school, Japanese students were taught good virtues, manners, cleanliness, and all the communication skills one needs to live in society. Only after that are they taught the academic subjects. Good habits have to instill young. The habit becomes our character later. Our character announces us even before we make an entrance. I am glad that my career working with the armed forces taught me to observe cleanliness and discipline. It taught me to be punctual and strict too. It has become my character. 

When people are making their way to Siddha samadhis in the wake of many travelogs and personal vloggers and television stations covering these places, Agathiyar told us how to attend to ourselves when we visit samadhis. He asked us bluntly who are we to give life and power or shakti to these places, implying the many rituals conducted by the managements or caretakers or those that we carry out are not required. He says that the one who lies within the samadhi had attained a powerful state and had no need for rituals further. What we are to do is to sit quietly and imbibe and take in the vibration and the powers or shakti that prevails in these places.

I understand Bharathi better these days. He was a Siddha who worked to bring a change in the mindset of his people. Ramalinga Adigal too tried hard to bring changes to the society of his time. It might seem like I am washing dirty linen in public but some things have to be said. All these are reminders for me to never do the same. I guess the reason I am shown all these weaknesses in our society is that Agathiyar wants me to learn lessons from others' doings. If I was to build a temple I would avoid all these flaws. I guess that is the reason Lord Muruga said I shall do it differently. It is only when we have learned to do something that we can unlearn it or drop it. Having us go through Sariyai that was pointed to us and nurtured in us by our parents, with coming into the path of the Siddhas the guru taught us rituals. We understood what was being done. These rituals laid the bridge connecting both our worlds or realms. This facilitated their move into our world. Some day we shall be led across this bridge to their world never to return unless with another specific purpose.

REVISITING KALLAR ASHRAM

Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal after completing his rounds as a traveling mendicant and completing his 8 year stay in the Sathuragiri hills was directed by Agathiyar to scout for a place known as Agathiyar Vanam to go into samadhi. He found the place to be in Kallar on the route from Methupalaiyam to the holiday resort of Ooty. The local village headman invited Tavayogi who was sleeping in a run-down temple to put up a shack on an empty piece of land. This was the birth of Agathiyar Gnana Peedham. Soon Tavayogi expanded the place bit by bit with donors from within and abroad chipping in. I found his ashram interesting for it had taken into account and accommodated the needs of devotees from all the four states or stages of spiritual advancement. There was equal attention given to Sariyai, Kriyai, Yogam and Gnanam. I do not know if it was planned or just happened to take shape in that manner. As we walk up the small hill on which the ashram was perched we come to the kitchen and dining hall that quenches the thirst and feeds the weary traveler and the hungry and tired souls who have come from afar. Then they move into the space where Kriya or rituals are observed. For those into Yoga Asanas and Pranayama there is a spot where they can go about their practice. To those who want to meditate there is the Dhyana Kudil. He used to hold an annual fest for Agathiyar. After the tsunami hit the shores of several countries in 2004 Tavayogi took it up to conduct the Maha Yagam to appease Mother Nature. He had people from all walks of life sit-in in these Yagams. 

The ashram where our journey started is rundown and in ruins now as Kallar Ashram has shifted to another venue some 2 kilometers away. These photos are courtesy of Surendran from Malaysia. Seeing these pics brought a sense of nostalgia and sadness. But we understood that all good things have to come to an end. This too shows the impermanence of everything.

With further contributions from devotees, Tavayogi built a new temple/ashram complex that is the present-day Kallar Ashram some two kilometers away replacing the old and rundown ashram. The new complex is run and managed by his disciple Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar after his demise. The following photos of the new Kallar Ashram are courtesy of Siddha Heartbeat's ardent reader and follower Sowmiya of Chennai. Date taken: 26/9/2021.

Lord Vinayagar's Sannadhi

Tavayogi's Samadhi Peedham

Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar

DARE TO CHANGE?

When I came searching about the Siddhas after Agathiyar in my first Nadi reading told me to come to his path and had me perform the Nadikku Dhanam, (that was a form of making a contribution and paying my respects and tribute to the Nadi and its authors, the Siddhas), where I was introduced to the numerous Siddhas when the Nadi Nool Aasan or reader recited their names, I sought to know more about these mysterious personalities who had kept track and taken note of my numerous births, having documented them and could access this information upon request through the equally mysterious medium of the Nadi or oracle. The first establishment that came to my mind was the Agathiyar Sanmarga Sangam in Dengkil. I reached out to the group of volunteers whom I had seen patiently stand on their feet in public areas collecting donations to feed the hungry. Here was a pearl among the many seashells. I bought books and VCDs of talks by their patron guru Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar. Here was a man who practiced what he preached. The desire to meet him grew in me. I included his Ongkarakudil as a must-see place in the itinerary of my planned trip to India besides the many places Agathiyar wanted me to visit to carry out remedies.

Meanwhile, I looked up other places associated with the name Agathiyar where I could learn from these pioneers in the field, the worship to the Siddhas. Traveling from door to door seeking some sort of enlightenment from those who ran establishments in the name of Agathiyar, I was baffled. I found some had shifted from remaining loyal to Agathiyar to embrace and chant the Arutperunjothi mantra and recite Ramalinga Adigal's Agaval. Others were centered on meditation or doing charity. There were those centers that were seen empty and deserted too. None were into doing either puja or worship to the Siddhas. Frequenting these venues brought me to mingle with fellow seekers. I did not receive good reviews from those who had ventured to know but left later. Those purportedly said to be following the path seemed lost; not knowledgeable; were more Satsang orientated rather than practitioners of the path; kept coming back to gather at these venues as a regime or norm to follow or adhere to, and kept coming for more and more information rather than begin their own journey. Those whom I met vomited what they had heard or read but hardly had any personal experience to share. It was hard to come by one who walked the talk and could furnish verified information through personal experiences. If they had those experiences, it was those of the guru whom they worshipped as God. They expected us to see him the same way. They looked up to these spiritual heads and gurus for answers or to give them that something that they thought they lacked or to fill the void in them or to appease the unknown feeling of yearning in them. I had no place there as Agathiyar had asked me to worship the Siddhas. As they did not satisfy my search I took up the worship of the Siddhas in my home with whatever little I knew and whatever materials I could lay my hands on. I began to look into books. Back then books on the Siddhas were rare to come by in Malaysia. Then they were theoretical and for most parts mythical. But the books published by Ongkarakudil saved the day. I carried on with the recitation of the names of the Siddhas. My solo journey had begun. 

So when I traveled to India to carry out my remedies listed in the Nadi I ticked Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar's Ongkarakudil as a priority and must-stopover. I was greeted by the late Thiru Nadarajah and accorded all due respect. He arranged for me to see the Swami, though he was undergoing tavam or austerity in solitude, after his audience with a couple of businessmen keen to bring solar energy to his ashram complex. I was thrilled to meet him but came back disappointed that I did not get his blessings. He had told me coming to his kudil itself was a blessing. I could not figure out what he meant. I asked myself if I had intruded into his sacred space? I asked myself whether I was not fit to be there? Indeed that is what Agathiyar revealed too after a couple of years. But it was a blessing in a way for I met Supramania Swami in Tiruvannamalai several days later and Tavayogi from Kallar Ashram a couple of years later. Supramania Swami ignited the flame of devotion in me towards the deities and gurus and instilled bhakti and guru bhakti while Tavayogi molded me and nurtured me on the path of the Siddhas. Tavayogi was a man of few words and had me walk the path rather than lecture about it. He took me to the Siddha abodes and caves. He had me engage in charity rituals and yoga. Agathiyar and the other Siddhas came in the Nadi readings and guided me further. Soon many turned up at my home seeking to have a view of AVM Agathiyar in bronze and participate or witness the Siddha puja. I shared my experiences with Supramania Swami and Tavayogi and the subtle teachings that came with it with those gathered at AVM and also carried them in this blog.  

When Agathiyar came recently and told me that he cannot gift me Gnanam or Divine Wisdom and that I had to earn it from practice and by placing effort and gain it from the experiences that came by and when Ramalinga Adigal emphasized the same fact telling me that all obstacles in our path are there to bring on Gnanam, I realize that no guru can give us what is already inherent in us. All they do is expose us to our true Self. They draw the curtain aside and show us the truth.  From there the subsequent experiences that then come our way shall mold us further and reinforce the truth that was shown. If I had thought that the guru comes to elevate us from our present standing and that we shall only do justice to them if we have evolved to higher standing and that would be their wish and desire, I have come to realize that contrary to that a genuine guru comes to have us drop everything! I was made to realize that this is what Agathiyar had meant when I thought the past two years were wasted, in being held captive, that was partly because he had asked us to go within and because of the restrictions in movement due to the pandemic. I was looking for spiritual gains similar to looking towards monetary gains in the material world. I was wrong. There is nothing to gain in this venture for all gains are linked to and shall bring down more karma upon us. Just as we are told to shed or drop karma, the guru comes to help us shed our desires and wishes, our hold on belongings, etc. We are taught to return home a lot lighter both literally and metaphysically. 

Agathiyar in my very first Nadi reading to my bewilderment and surprise laid out the cards in front of me. He had access to my karmic records and was exposing them! And it was all possible from reading my thumbprint! After identifying the category of my thumbprint Nadi Nool Aasan Sentilkumar brought out three stacks of old palm leaves on which were scribbled "words" that he was trained to decipher. Reading them aloud to me, he asked me either to confirm or reject what was read out, reminding me not to reveal anything more. After a tedious session of question and answer, and we were never close to picking out the right Nadi for me, one that precisely carried my life's journey, he told me to come another day. Two weeks later I was back again, sitting with him, and going through a similar session. And there it was, a matching Nadi that I could acknowledge as describing me. Though I had identified it I did not get the full reading. I was asked to come another day for the complete reading. On the designated day I sat with Sentilkumar again and he ran by my life journey as recorded (of the past) and written (for the future) by Agathiyar. My life was no mystery I came to realize. Agathiyar revealed the events till my death. 

Many years later I realized that exceptions were made in very special cases where Agathiyar breaks the norm as he did in the case of my wife. He revealed her Nadi without having to call her over. She was indeed special in his eyes. Over the years I came to a new understanding regarding what was fated and destined and about free will and the extent that we could shape our own lives. I realized that what was said in the Nadi was only one of several possibilities that could actually become a reality if followed and adhered to. If we chose not to pursue in that direction given, a new set of possibilities comes along. Here is where we are given a choice to decide either to listen to the words of the wise or otherwise. 

Over the years I realized that Agathiyar had access to my thoughts too. He was revealing them. Now I really needed Magneto's helmet to protect myself from the onslaught of Agathiyar's vision prying into my private moments and corners of my memories and life. As he said when my thoughts subside his shall emerge, these days I have given in to him and stopped resisting the telepathic attacks from him. This blog has come to emerge as his medium, a result of his thoughts taking precedence over mine. Much has been shared in this blog mostly personal experiences of mine and those who traveled with me. It has been one of a practical journey of walking the path of the Siddhas rather than searching for them in the texts and books or in listening to speeches or through Satsang. When enough merits, experience, and knowledge had been gathered Agathiyar brought a close to it all. He wants us to go within. this is indeed a great challenge. It is truly tough going within. The external journey traveled thus far was much easier. 

I had covered my home puja to the deities in my bachelor days that was an offshoot from the daily worship at the altar of my family home as I grew up. The home puja kept me occupied and kept me company during the years I lived alone as a bachelor away from the family. Then it was brought to an abrupt halt only to be revived by the divine after some 14 years for reasons he knew best. But he kept a tab on me and my journey. Then in 2001, it was time for me to resume my worship of the deities again. He had me know the Siddhas as well and their worship through my first Nadi reading a year later. Today I can safely say that it is in coming to worship the Siddhas that we shall take hold of our lives, otherwise, we shall continue with what we wrongly assume as that which brings joy and happiness. It is in coming to the Siddhas that we learn the rituals and put them into practice. From being passive devotees at temples we become actively involved with doing puja at our homes. Without the aid of the Siddhas, we shall worship the deities till our last breath looking up to them with respect and fear, and never go further in bridging the gap. It is through the Siddhas that we came to interact with the deities. Today the deities keep us company. 

If initially, the Siddhas had us engage in doing charity and rituals, soon they had us drop them and had us engage in yoga. With devotion and compassion established in us, it was time to bring a transformation in the body. The elements and material that make the body was slowly purified by taking purgatives and Kaya Kalpha. The Asudha deham that we inherited evolves into the Sudha deham. The pranayama exercises bring in a constant flow of prana from the prapanjam that transforms the body further into a much subtle form of energy and vibration. The Pranava deham inherited now with the coming of the divine within shall one day switch to Oli deham. This transformation was seen in the Siddhas and most prominently shown to us just some 147 years ago through Ramalinga Adigal. Their wish is to see us take up the way and become one with them. Are there any takers?

A DEVOTEE'S STORY 2 - அப்பாவும் நானும்-2

We continue with part 2 of a devotee's journey on the path of the Siddhas. Those who missed her introduction and part 1 can read it at https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2021/09/a-devotees-story-1.html

கர்மா பற்றிய புரிதல் தந்தது   

நம் வாழ்வில் வரும் சோதனைகள் தடங்கல்கள் துயரங்கள் அனைத்திற்க்கும் நாம்தான் காரணம். குறிப்பாகச் சித்தர்கள் மார்க்கத்தில் வரநினைப்பவர்களுக்கு அவர்கள் தரும் பதில் பெரும்பாலாகக் கர்மவினைதான். நம் கர்மவினை தான் நம் வாழ்விற்கே அடித்தளமாக அமைகிறது. ஆனால் பெரும்பாலும் நல்லவர்களுக்கே துன்பம் வருவதற்கு காரணம் என்ன? நல்லவர்கள் ஒரு நாளில் அப்படி பிறப்பதில்லை. எத்தனையோ பிறவிகளில் ஏற்பட்ட அனுபவங்களின் விளைவாகவே நல்லவர்களாகப் பிறக்கிறார்கள்.  நம் என்னதான் மற்றவர்க்கு உதவினாலும் நம் இன்னும் அல்லல்படுகிறோம் என்று நினைப்பவர்கள் அதிகம். 

அப்பா நம்மிடம் அதிகம் எதிர்பார்ப்பதில்லை ஆனால் நடைமுறைக்கு ஏற்றவாறு சிந்தித்து அறிவுறுத்துபவர். எனக்கும் பெரிய அளவில் அன்னதானமும் அனாதை இல்லம் நடத்த விருப்பம் இருந்தது. என்னால் எப்போதாவது முடிந்த  தானங்கள் செய்வதுண்டு. ஆனால் அப்பாவை வேண்ட ஆரமித்தபோது சிலவற்றை உள்ளிருந்து உணர்த்தினார். தினமும் என்னால் இயன்ற தர்மங்கள் செய்யத் துவங்கினேன். நம்மிடம் இருக்கும் நல் எண்ணங்கள் நடைமுறைப்படுத்த வேண்டும் என்பதே அவரின் எண்ணம். அதற்குக் காலம் இடம் வருவதற்கு காத்திருக்க தேவை இல்லை. இருக்கும் பொருள் வைத்து நம்மால் இயன்ற வரை செய்வதே அவர் எதிர்பார்க்கிறார். அப்படி செய்தும் வாழ்க்கை மாறவில்லை என்று நினைப்பவர்கள் உண்டு. அப்படி என்றால் அந்த வலிகளின் மூலம் அவர்களின் ஆத்ம பலத்தை அதிகரிக்கிறார் என்று அர்த்தம். 

அப்படி எனக்கும் ஆத்ம பலத்தை ஏற்படுத்தினார் அப்பா.   சரியான வேலை அமையாமல் படிப்பும் அமையாமல் நான் வாழ்ந்து கொண்டிருந்தேன். அடுத்த நாள் வாழ்வதில் நம்பிக்கை இல்லாமல் இருந்தேன். “உன் பாதமே சரணம்” என்று இருந்த பொது சில சில தரிசனங்கள் இறை அருளால் கனவில் கிடைத்தது. அவர்களின் காட்சி தான் அடுத்த நாள் வாழ நம்பிக்கை தந்தது. சில மாதங்கள் பிறகு அகத்தியர் கனவில் வந்து உன் வாழ்க்கை இன்னும் இரண்டு மாதத்தில் மாறும் என்று கூறி மறைந்தார். அதன் பிறகே மேல் படிப்பு அமைந்தது.  படிப்பு முடிந்தவுடன் மிகவும் குறைந்த சம்பளத்தில் வேலை அமைந்தது. ஆனால் அன்று அவருக்கு நன்றி தான் கூறினேன். சில வருடங்களாக அதைவிட சற்று தரம் அதிகம் உள்ள வேலைக்கு முயற்சி செய்தேன். கிடைக்கவில்லை. வெளிநாட்டிலும் அமையுமா என்று எதிர்பார்த்தேன். அப்போது ஒரு நாள் அகத்தியரும் லோபாமாவும் என் கனவில் தோன்றி மலர்ந்த முகத்தில் ஆசி தந்தனர். நான் எனக்கு அந்த வேலை கிடைக்கும் என்று நினைத்தேன். ஆனால் மூன்று முறை முயன்றும் படுதோல்வி அடைந்தேன்.  விரக்தியின் உச்சம் என்று கூடச் சொல்லலாம். ஆனால் நம்மை இவ்ளளவு தூரம் கனவில் தோன்றியவர் அன்பை விட இது பெரிதா என்று எண்ணி  இறைவன் விட்ட வழி என்று சென்று கொண்டிருந்தேன். இப்படியாக மூன்று வருடங்கள் மொத்தம் ஏழு வருடங்கள் படிப்பு இருந்தும் நிலையான வேலை இல்லாமல் சிரமப்பட்டேன். 

ஒரு நாள் எதிர்பாராத விதமாக நான் செய்து கொண்டிருக்கும் வேலைக்குச் சம்மந்தம் இல்லாத அரசு வேலை அமையும் வாய்ப்பு வந்தது. ஆனால் இந்த ஏழு வருடங்கள் அனுபவம் அதைப் பெரிதாக நினைக்க விடவில்லை. சந்தோஷமும் இல்லை கர்வமும் இல்லை. உன் பக்தராக இருந்து உனக்கு இதுமூலம் எனச் செய்யவேண்டுமோ செய்துகொள்ளுங்கள் அப்பா என்றுதான் தோன்றியது. மனம் மரத்து போகவில்லை ஆனால் இது உண்மை இல்லை உண்மை வெறும் அப்பாதான் என்று தெளிவாக இருந்தது.  ஒரு பிச்சைக்காரனுக்கு தங்க புதையல் கொடுத்தால் எவ்வளவு கூத்தாடுவான். ஆனால் அப்போது எனக்கு அந்தப் புதையல் கொடுத்த தெய்வம்தான் உண்மையான புதையல் என்றே தோன்றியது. அந்த வேலையும் இழந்தால் பரவாயில்லை எப்படியோ எதாவது செய்து உண்மையாக வாழலாம் ஏனென்றால் இறைதான் நம் கஷ்டத்தில் கூடஇருப்பாரே என்று தோன்றியது.  

“தண்ணீர் கேட்டேன் அமிர்தம் தந்தனை” என்ற பாடல் வரிக்கேற்ப அவர் தந்தார் ஆனால் பெரிய போராட்டத்திற்கு பிறகு தான். நான் முன்ஜென்ம வினைகளால் இதை அனுபவித்தாலும் இந்தப் பிறவியில் அப்படி ஒன்றும் எனக்குக் கீழ் இருப்பவர்களைத் துச்சமாக மதித்ததில்லை. பிறகு ஏன் இவ்வளவு போராட்டம்?  

 “எதனைக் கேட்டால் உன்னையே தருவாய்?”   அப்பா எவ்வள்வு இருந்தாலும் இனி இமயம் போல் புகழ் வந்தாலும் உன் தரிசனம் கிடைத்த நாட்கள்போல் வருமா? இப்பொது ஆன்மா அவர் மட்டுமே நிஜம் என்று உணர்ந்து துக்கம் ஆனந்தம் இரண்டிற்கும் ஒரே மாதிரி எதிர்வினை தான் புரிய நினைக்கிறது. அப்படிதான் ஆன்ம பலம் பெற்றதாக உணர்கிறேன். கர்மவினை கழிப்புக்காக மட்டும் அல்ல. இறை வழியில் வரும் நல்லவர்கள் இன்னும் இறை அருகில் வர அவர்களின் ஆன்மாவை இறைவன் தயார்ப்படுத்தும் வழிமுறையாகவும் கொள்ளலாம்.

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