NEED FOR DIRECTION

Just as we need direction be it to get to a place or our destination or goal, we need a physical guru to show us the way, the method, and the practice as there are no signs on the path of the Siddhas. We were blessed to have Agathiyar and later Tavayogi come into the picture to show us the way. Right from day one Agathiyar guided as in the Nadi and later through Tavayogi too. After Tavayogi's demise, he came through devotees. 

Agathiyar and my gurus in physical forms have indeed lighted up my life. The guru is always known to give, just as Supramania Swami surprised me by passing on the merits of his 40 years of tavam to me, and Tavayogi shaped me in his image. If Tavayogi gave me and several others a set of Asanas and Pranayama practices on his visit to Malaysia in 2007, Agathiyar gave me several yogic practices in a Nadi reading on 27.8.2009, to enhance and complement that which we learned from Tavayogi. Agathiyar told me these practices would strengthen the state of Gnana in us further. As a result, the clarity and powerful thoughts would pave the way to lure the Prapanjam for sure. This was the first mention of the word Prapanjam. பக்குவமாய் பயிற்சியும் செய்து வர பலப்படுமே ஞான நிலை பலவாறாக. பல்வாறாய் தெளிவு திடம், சிந்தை கீர்த்தி, பிரபஞ்சம் வசிய நிலை திண்ணம் திண்ணம். 

Agathiyar who told us in a Nadi reading on 17.10. 2010 that the Prapanjam was in him and that he shall present himself and shower his grace on us in whatever form we may worship him in, என்னுள் பிரபஞ்சம் உள்ளத்தப்ப. அவனியிலே எதை நினைத்து புசித்தாலும் அடுத்த கணம் அது வாய் மாறி ஆசி அதுவும் அளிப்பேன், mentions that Ramalinga Adigal come into our midst on 21.2.2020 to bless us and helped us receive the energy from the Prapanjam. வள்ளல் பிரபஞ்சத்திடம் இருந்து சக்தியைப் பெற்றுக் கொள்ள உதவினார்.

Agathiyar came again on 29.6.2020 and told us that he was the Prapanjam. He was us too. His powers were in us too. The moment we realize this truth we shall attain emancipation. நான் தான் பிரபஞ்சம். நான்தான் நீங்கள். என் சக்தி உங்களிடம் உள்ளது. எப்போது அதை உணர்விகளோ வீடு பேறு கிட்டும்.

On 20.7.2020 Agathiyar again revealed that Ramalinga Adigal brought the Prapanjam down. வள்ளல் பிரபஞ்சத்தை தருவித்தார்.

On 30.11.2020 he says that he was all the deities put together. He was the Prapanjam. நானே அணைத்து தெய்வங்கள். நானே பிரபஞ்சம்.

On 10.12.2020 Ramalinga Adigal was constantly telling us to bring the Prapanjam within and that it would listen to us and accompany us. பிரபஞ்சத்தை உள்ளுக்குள் செலுத்துங்கள். பிரபஞ்சம் உங்களுக்குக் கட்டுப்படும். துணை வரும். Ramalinga Adigal showed us the way to access and connect with the Prapanjam. He says that the Prapanjam shall assist us. He too would come to assist. உன் கைகளை உயர்த்தி பிரபஞ்சத்துடன் தொடர்பு கொள்க. பிரபஞ்சம் உனக்கு உதவி புரியும். நானும் துணை இருப்பேன்

On 6.5.2021, Agathiyar spoke again on the Prapanjam making us understand that the doctor's role ends with the procedure done on their patients. Then Prapanjam takes over and begins healing the patients from within and without. He reassured my daughter that he would stand by her and heal her eyes together with the Prapanjam. பிரபஞ்சம் உனக்கு உதவி புரியும். நானும் துணை இருப்பேன். 

On 15.5.2021 Lord Shiva addressed our worries regarding the increasing numbers of casualties who succumbed to the Coronavirus, saying we are the cause of it and Prapanjam used it for its purpose. He added that "Man now needs to join forces with the Prapanjam and use it as a force field or shield and engaged in cleaning the Prapanjam. When it's cleansed the world will be completely rid of the virus." He goes on to explain how it shall take place. "When engaged with the Prapanjam the vibration that takes place in you shall become atoms that cleanse the Prapanjam. The virus will be around till that day that is fully achieved. He added that "I, Shiva will join you in prayers to heal the Prapanjam. Whenever and wherever possible continue doing the Homam." இந்த நோய் மனிதனால் உருவாக்கப் பட்டது. பிரபஞ்சம் அதனை உபயோகப் படுத்திக் கொண்டது. மனிதர்கள் பிரபஞ்சத்தோடு இணைந்து பிரபஞ்சத்தைக் கவசமாய் பயன்படுத்தி பிரபஞ்சத்தைச் சுத்தம் செய்ய வேண்டும். பிரபஞ்சம் சுத்தம் அடையும் தருணம் இந்த நோய் முற்றிலும் குணமடையும். பிரபஞ்சத்தோடு இணையும்பொழுது உங்களில் ஏற்படும் அதிர்வுகள் அணுவாய் மாறிப் பிரபஞ்சத்தைத் தூய்மை செய்யும். அதுநாள் வரை இந்த நோய் நீண்டகாலம் இருக்கச் செய்யும். சிவன் நானும் உங்களோடு இணைந்து பிரார்த்தனைகளை முன்வேய்ப்பேன் பிரபஞ்சம் தூய்மை பெற. முடிந்தமட்டிலும் ஒவ்வொருவரும் இந்த ஹோமத்தைச் செய்து வாருங்கள். Following this call to gather together and heal the Prapanjam, Ma Prapanjam came in a devotee's meditation and asked us to gather together in prayer after the aftermath of the pandemic telling us that there were possibilities of a revival of the dreaded virus. By her grace, everything was presumably contained.

As a finale Prapanjam herself came through a devotee last Saturday, and henceforth asked us to seek her for all our needs. When I asked that she shower her grace on others too she replied that as she was the Prapanjam she would care for them too and hushed me repeating Shanti Shanti Shanti. I saw her motherly love at that moment.

Now I understand the reason Agathiyar left AVM for the home of another devotee. As our need for a guru ended, and after bringing the Prapanjam down Agathiyar chose to leave. I guess there would not be any written, or verbal conversations and communications henceforth as before. Instead, we have to tap into the archives and resources within the belly of the Prapanjam. Now I understand why the village deity Karupanasamy who also stood guard for the Siddhas, told us that Agathiyar was a lady after we had several ladies come before us surprising us with their darshan and gifts when the AVM family made its way to several temples before heading for the new Kallar ashram to participate in the consecration ceremony or Kumbhabhisegam in 2016. Before we left he had told us to be on the lookout for Agathiyar who would present himself before us in all the places we went. Indeed he came in the form of ladies and blessed the lot.

HOLD ON

There is a reason the path is called Siddhar Neri. Here we are molded into becoming a Siddha. There is the mold into which we have to fit. What are the aspects of a Siddha then? There is no one mold into which everybody fits. It varies from person to person. The Siddhas in coming to a young devotee, each, carry their own individuality. Agathiyar is supposed to be stern while Pambatti is jovial. Both Lord Muruga and Ramalinga Adigal I know are fast and furious while Agathiyar is composed. But there is an underlying quality amongst all of them. They give back to society what they have learned and achieved in their lifetimes. 

And so Tavayogi was sent to our shores to preach the path to the masses and mold only a handful. I was one of the lucky wants to be molded. Seeing the tall and majestic-looking bespectacled and bearded man for the very first I could see his humbleness. He held a Master's degree in Arts and was a one-time businessman spinning cotton attires in his hometown of Tiruppur. He was a chairperson of Pattimandrams. He walked with his head held high not one of snobbishness but one appropriate to the standing of Agathiyar.

I frequented the place he had stayed in during his visit to Malaysia in 2005 almost every day, leaving straight from my office to see him. I never had any questions for him. I used to sit and watch the drama unfold as seekers, devotees, and people from all walks of life came by to pay their respects to him and engaged in lengthy discussions. I absorbed all that went on. Seeing many invite him over to their homes which he obliged, I extended an invitation to him too. He came. I was overjoyed at having a holy man step into my home for the very first time in history or rather (my)story. He thrashed that joy that day. But I am grateful he did for that was the start of how he began to mold me. I was confused and sad not knowing what I had done wrong, but it was a lesson not to fall for any holy person that he taught me that day. He told me that he was not holy and not to fall prey to the attire but instead pointed me to the feet of Agathiyar and asked that I hold on to him. No holy man would drive us away but he did. But yet I stuck to him as Agathiyar had pointed him out to me as a true guru for me. Today even after his samadhi he comes to us through devotees to continue the teaching. 

I soon followed a month after he left for his ashram accepting his invitation and following Agathiyar's directive to spend a few days at his ashram. Here too he educated me on letting go of my hold on all the tiny possessions I had on me and my thoughts. He emptied me before he brought me to witness the lifestyle he had been through during his days on wanderings telling me that the true journey had only started. He revamped me, upgraded me, and let go of me to explore further the path. He stood aside as I was given total freedom to do as I pleased, to modify, to initiate anew, bringing the worship and acts of dharma to others too. Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) flourished with the entry of youngsters eager to know the path shown to AVM in 2013 and reached its zenith in 2019. Just as Agathiyar and Tavayogi gave me tools these devotees were given the tools too, to continue and pursue the path in their own time. 

Slowly both Agathiyar and Tavayogi shaped me and others to fit the mold. It was not an easy task for both parties. But they made it so accessible and brought the severity of pain and torture to the minimum so that our pampered body could take the heat. They worked on the life-giver that was our breath having us practice Pranayama and other Vaasi techniques. Traversing each chakra and taking on an internal journey the fire of our tapas burned down the dwelling and rebuilt itself anew. By this time the karma acquired through our life and former lives lost its hold on us by having taken the course of worship, conducting rituals, doing charity and feeding, and stepping into Yoga. What was in store and awaited us further was Gnanam which only dawns on one when we pursue the journey further to reach the zenith or the crown and look back at the experiences and the truth behind all these practices. 

Reaching the crown chakra, and engaging with the Prapanjam that is likened to suckling our Mother's breast, the effulgence comes within to ignite all the chakras that await its homecoming. The chakras light up as we light up our homes during Karthigai Deepam. Next in line will be the rare state of becoming light. Further transformations are mentioned by Ramalinga Adigal which is still vague to our understanding for now. As always the Siddhas do not give out handouts or manuals but want us to reach each state and experience first before coming to confirm these experiences and explain further. 

THE LAST 21 YEARS

Agathiyar told me once that no one these days is adopting the way of life of a Siddha or Siddhar Vazhgai Neri. But what is Siddhar Vazhgai Neri and how do we adopt and follow it? What do we do to qualify and stay on this path? This is exactly the frustration I faced when Agathiyar told me to come to the worship of the Siddhas in the Nadi in 2002. He had the Nadi guru carry out a puja to pay homage to the Siddhas for documenting and revealing my life in the Nadi called Naadikku Dhanam. Even then I did not realize the way was already shown during this brief moment of recitation of the names of the Siddhas. Tavayogi too in explaining the cause of people's sufferings to be their karma or vinai told them to worship the Siddhas by reciting their names. We expected something larger in scale and dramatic as in the affairs of the temples. But the Siddha path of worship is indeed one without the pomp and fare of temple celebrations. Agathiyar in calling me to their worship had already given me the tools to continue my worship. I received the small booklet containing the compilation of the names of the Siddhas that the Nadi reader recited, and a picture of Agathiyar given by the host who brought in the readers. That was all to it. Though I started off the worship immediately upon returning home, I felt a need to know more about the Siddhas for I had stood before Agathiyar and the Nadi without any knowledge of them. I began to scout around for books related to them. But it was mostly in poetry form that was not comprehensible. Those who spoke about them were vastly covering the myths and legends surrounding them that did not serve any purpose to us in these times. I wanted to know more about the worship and stood at the doors of numerous movements engaged in one way or another in keeping Agathiyar alive. There were those who solely focused on doing charity and feeding the hungry year-round. This catered to the beginners stepping into the path. There we those who had already moved on to the worship of Arutperunjothi. The remaining ones were fragments of the larger movements going about only God knows what. There were many who became comfortable by hosting Satsangs and talking about the Siddhas and settled into it. There was no one doing regular Siddha puja. This broke my heart. I then took it upon myself to gather and enhance my home puja. The small booklet that contained the names of the Siddhas grew in size as I compiled more names, mantras, and songs that I began to recite at home. It gave me great pride and a sense of accomplishment that I had filled the gap that existed. 

With the coming of Tavayogi he asked that I conduct a Homam at home and I did. Agathiyar came as the bronze statue and asked that I conduct libation or abhisegam to it. They taught me a comprehensive and complete A-Z of Siddha puja in the comfort of my home fulfilling my yearning to learn Siddha worship or puja.

Tavayogi then taught us certain Yoga Asanas and Pranayama in 2007 that had us step into Yogam which was the third component on the path, after Sariyai and Kriyai that we were carrying out. Agathiyar gave more exercises through the Nadi. Patanjali came in the Nadi to give me a guide on food intake that was Sattvic in content. Siddha physicians passed me herbal preparations to first detox my body, bring back the balance, and later strengthen it. 

Meanwhile, Agathiyar sent many young seekers to my home in 2013 to watch and participate in these pujas which included the fire ritual or Homam and libation of Agathiyar's statue. The compendium of songs in praise of the Siddhas was passed on to the devotees who joined my family in puja. Later I uploaded them online for other's reference too. Though many began to sing these songs in their homes and temples too, sadly only a few took the rituals back with them and carried them out in their homes in their entirety. They settled for fragments of it and considered it as enough to invoke the Siddhas. 

Unlike those movements that carried out charity and feeding from day one till the present times and those that kept talking about the Siddhas, we at AVM were asked to stop both puja and charity in 2019, just months before the lockdowns were enforced as a result of the pandemic. We were told to go within. I was asked to teach the Yoga exercises given to me by Tavayogi to others and at the same time I was asked to revive my yoga practices too, which Agathiyar had brought to a stop in 2012 after I had pain in my back due to the activation of energies within that had me suffer for some three years. The pandemic did come as a blessing as it forced us to stay indoors. This was a period of letting go as I came to realize from Mahindren. He opened my eyes to the fact, given that I had expressed my sadness in having wasted precious time. 

Looking back now I realized that it was all very timely and well coordinated. All went well despite the frustrations, sadness, and anger. It was indeed Agathiyar's will that shaped things all these while. It has been a wonderful journey of some 21 years. I guess I had lived the Siddhar Vazhgai Neri that Agathiyar had mentioned was amiss in society these days thanks to their guidance, to a certain extent though there is much to be desired. 

P. Karthigayan in his book "History of Medical and Spiritual Sciences of Siddhas of Tamil Nadu", Notion Press, 2016, states that Siddhas founded and predicted the science of astrology, discovered longevity and immortality techniques, and alchemy and the science of refining metals, devised surgical instruments and performed surgery, invented scientific marvels and vehicles,  and overcame gravity engaging in aerial travel. Phew, what an achievement. And to think that they left all these sciences and findings for our use without copyrighting them. The Siddhas are the true gurus who never protected their teachings as intellectual property but gave to all those who came seeking. I was one of them who had gained immensely. Today I stand witness to the Prapanjam acting on me and within me. Though Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal said there will come a time when you shall question whether you are in it or it is in you, I guess Prapanjam, or what is commonly translated as consciousness does not stream continuously into us, at least for a start.  I guess when the energy resources are depleted or the charge is low, it comes down and enters within to replenish the body, after certain intervals of time, or just as of now when a sudden surge of it brings out the creativity in us as I pen these words. We need not sit in meditation for hours as it enters even as we move, speak, or at any other moment. The moment it enters through the crown our attention is brought there and pegged to the "ground" no matter in what activity we are engaged in at that moment. As it is fast charging it remains for a short time before it comes back again. We are not in control of it, not as yet. Access has been given but right now it determines when it should come within. I have only Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, and Tavayogi to thank for bringing me to this state. I am glad I took up Agathiyar's call and heeded Tavayogi's words. 

For a yogi or Siddha or Rishi though, they would be constantly engaged with it and in it. This is how Agathiyar is in the bronze statue of his at his new home. Serene and composed, he sits like the Buddha. 

"I AM HERE"

Yesterday my daughter took her elder daughter to join a tour of the world of print organized by a local publisher of kids' books who opened up their doors to children above 5 years old in conjunction with their warehouse sales. I babysat the 3 and 2-year-old while they were gone. Both mother and daughter picked up many books adding to their already massive collection. I flipped through them and was captivated by Little Fruits Strawberry Book titled "Who Am I?" 

Looking at her reflection in the water starts the little chick asking around who she was. When every animal only knew its "clan", identifying by the mode of travel, finally, a mother cat walking her kitten tells her that she is a chick. The chick is excited at knowing who it is. Similarly, at one point in life, the question arises as to who we are and we begin asking others. One might come by a guru as in the cat in the story who can reveal our identity. 

This storybook also included the continuing saga of Cheepy Chick to find her mother, "Are You, My Mummy?" It reminded me of an earlier story I had read to my grandchildren, "Are You My Mother?" by P.D. Eastman. 

As Tim Warnes writes at https://www.timwarnes.com/blog/2021/6/18/are-you-my-mother, "Finding your mummy when you don’t even know what she looks like is a challenge!", it is a challenge for us too to look for our "Mother". Just as the baby bird knows “I did have a mother, I know I did. I have to find her. …” we seem to know deep within us that we do not belong here amidst all these forms and names. After much searching and asking around, "The Snort put that baby bird right back in the tree. The baby bird was home!" Similarly eventually we shall come home just as Tavayogi autographed the following words "The journey begins and ends there" in my copy of his book "Andamum Pindamum" that the residence of God as being within the inner chamber of our hearts. It is a journey of returning back home. God comes as the snort to lift us back into our nests from which we had fallen eons ago. 

The quest to know oneself has been going on for ages I believe as Agathiyar has spoken about our numerous failed conquests in past lives in the Nadi readings. Now we are at it again only after being reminded of the past. Would we be successful this time around? Only he can tell.

But whether we have placed sufficient effort or not, he surely has. He is determined to save us unless the lure of the pleasures in this world is too great for us to see through the veils, the richness and majesty of the inner worlds that lie beyond these veils. I am beginning to understand why Bhagawan Ramana and the other saints chose to keep to themselves for most of their lives. There is a treasure within us that we are not told about until the guru comes to whisper in our ears. The truth lies with a few and they are not telling. What we hear trumpeted aloud is of this chaotic world. 

What lies beneath the chaos is peace and calm. I understand now why coming through a devotee Mother Prapanjam, before leaving, whispered the word "Shanti, Shanti, Shanti as I kept speaking, asking her to shower her grace on others. It is just that it saddens us to see so much sadness, cruelty, brutality, animosity, betrayal, backstabbing, theft, poverty, wars, etc in this same world that charms us with its beauty, hugs us into its arms, sings a tune into our ears, releases its sweet aroma to mingle in the air, and sustains us with nourishing and tasty fruits. All shall be well she implied adding that as she was the Prapanjam she shall take care of others too.

THE FINAL ASKING

Neale Donald Walsch's book "The Wisdom of the Universe" echoes every word of Agathiyar. In writing "By knowing and understanding that God is laughing, sharing, enjoying, caring, and experiencing with you, everything, everything in your life. Because everything in life is a conversation with God - a never-ending prayer - ......" he reminds me of what Agathiyar told me in the years of my Nadi reading. He asked me to walk tall so that he too could walk tall. He asked me not to shed tears for then he too shall shed tears. When I drench his bronze statue in water as I carry out libation or abhisegam to him, I feel drenched and cooled. It could only mean what Neale says above is true. How more compassionate can one be? He shares every feeling of us be it love and care, affection and fondness, tenderness and warmth, emotion and sentiment, passion and compassion, sympathy and pity, adoration and devotion, and sorrow and pain. He tells me as I cannot withstand pain he will give me lesser painful options when I have to endure the "growing pains" of the internal transformation. 

Speaking to me through the Nadi in the days following his call to come to the worship and path of the Siddhas, he spoke through devotees later. He came as himself, as the other Siddhas, as the Gods and Goddesses, and other gurus, at times carrying on a conversation with them or other devotees and having and insisting that I stay and listen to them talk. I knew that he wanted me to share these conversations with readers unless he asked that they be kept within the four walls. 

Bringing us to recite the names of the Siddhas, Tavayogi and later Agathiyar had us engage in carrying out Homam or lighting the sacrificial fire in our homes beginning in 2005. Tavayogi started a Yagam to appease the wrath of Mother Nature in the aftermath of the 2004 Tzunami. Although I carried it out when Tavayogi instructed me on the phone, I had my reservations as I was not keen on doing rituals. Agathiyar then told me it was not for me but for the well-being of all of creation. Here is where Agathiyar and Tavayogi introduced me to the power beyond all forms of devotion. It was without a face and nameless and formless. The closest we could come to tagging it or labeling it was giving it the name Prapanjam. It was the very thing that creates, sustains, and destroys. It was also that that veils and the also showers its grace. For one who lives a mundane life, he only knows of having taken birth, living, and dying. He seeks the blessings of the elders and the saints. But for one who prods the mystery of life, he knows the existence of a veil that covers the truth. Once the veil is drawn aside, with the coming of the guru, or when the Atma "awakens", grace is showered. Agathiyar says that the power of its grace is beyond bounds. This grace turns us into the very matter, breath, and soul of the Prapanjam. 

Just as the temple priests draw aside the curtain and we see God residing within the chamber in all his majesty, when the guru comes to draw the veil of ignorance, we see the light in the inner chamber of our hearts. We come face to face with our Atma. The Atma then leads us to God, as the guru fades into the light. Henceforth the Atma begins to dictate our journey. As we journey together the Atma gains more freedom to exercise the needs of prospective pilgrims to arrive at the destination as the pilgrim now does not place obstacles in his own path through his thoughts and actions. As he has submitted to the will of the Atma to do what was appropriate he goes with the flow. All thoughts and actions are those of God now. The Atma transforms the pilgrim in the image of God. The Atma that has fully gained back its powers that were surrendered to the Ego and the selfish self, having regained its territories and control, reigns in the heart of the pilgrims as the Self. He is a guru material now for he can begin to lead others provided he wants. He has access to the Prapanjam. Though many gurus do not heal themselves, they summon her powers to save, heal, help, and uplift others.

The Prapanjam that was introduced by my gurus to me and that took the many forms of the deities and gurus who showered their blessings for a successful journey and who in return molded and handed me back to her, came recently. I believe she healed and energized me with her powers. She told me to summon her if the need arises. In asking that she shower all the grace that I had received, on others too, she replied that as she was Prapanjam she shall take care of all. That I deem is my final asking. What more can one ask for? 

BELIEVE IN THE SELF - THE ATMA

Our problems will never go away. The reason is that we tend to carry them with us wherever we go. Won't it be wonderful to leave them behind when going on a vacation for instance? Or going to a retreat or ashram? We have to learn to leave things behind. We have to let go and enter a new space naked and empty so that we can take in the energy and the vibes, the smell, sound, and the sights of the place. Why did our elders build temples in the hills, mountains, and jungles? The very place cleanses us, nourishes us, and energizes us. Hence we come back renewed. 

Man needs someone to talk to, to lean on, to cry over his shoulders, to embrace and love him. In the event, there is no one God is there. He makes his way to the temples and cries before him in silence. He feels relieved as he lays his baggage and burden at God's feet and returns home. God listens but sadly we do not. Even if God was to show a sign we are too busy to notice it. Some see these signs but logic and learning interfere and they ignore them. Others might take heed but decide to improvise, modify, change, and alter, hence having it lose its effectiveness or render it completely useless. Yet others might keep it in view, or postpone it for a later date where it would then be not applicable.

Keep God as your buddy for all your needs. Talk to him. Touch him. Caress him. Love him. He shall never leave you. He will never desert you. He shall be the strength in us. He shall come as the solution to us. Agathiyar tells us that the power of the Prapanjam is limitless. இந்தப் பிரபஞ்ச சக்தி எண்ணில் அடங்காதவை. We understand the state of Agathiyar now when he says that the Prapanjam is in him and he is in the Prapanjam. He gives us the much-deserved boost that we all need. He says time and tide do not wait for a man. Make a decision on time and stick to it. Walk the journey you decided. Our decision is that of the Atma. That decision belongs to the Atma. That Atma belongs to him. He asked that we fear not and walk his path.

காலம் உங்களை நிறுத்தி விடாது. புரண்டு ஓடும். காலத்தில் நிலையாய் ஒரு முடிவினை எடுத்து அதன் பின் செல்லுங்கள். இவ்விடத்தில் ஒரு முடிவு செய்து விட்டால் அதனோடு பயணிங்கள். தளர்ந்தால் குழப்பம் மட்டுமே மிஞ்சும். உங்களுடைய முடிவு உங்களின் ஆன்மாவையே சார்ந்தது. அந்த ஆன்மா என்னையே சார்ந்தது. யாருக்கும் எவருக்கும் பயமின்றி என் வழியில் வாருங்கள்.

He speaks about the invincible strength of man. That strength Agathiyar and Tavayogi say is the Arivu or the ability to think clearly that can bring down walls. Never submit to failure.

ஈசனால் படைக்கப்பட்ட மனிதனுக்கு ஆற்றலாய் அறிவு இருக்கிறது. யாம் அதை எப்போதுமே ஆற்றல் என்று கூறுவோம். மனிதனின் ஆற்றலைக் கொண்டு எதையும் சாதிக்கலாம். துவண்டு பொய் அமர வேண்டாம். 

Man needs to clearly define and separate sufferings and problems. Sufferings are due to things beyond our control as famine, war, calamities, etc while problems can be solved and solutions found with a little bit of thinking. 

I am 64 now. Looking back on this journey and life, I now come to see how God was very much with me right from when I was conceived. Agathiyar explains the process.

உடல் என்பது ஐந்து உலோகங்களின் நுண்ணுயிர்களின் அளவுகளைத் தாங்கிக் கொண்டு பிண்டம் ஒன்றினை உருவ வடிவமாய் கர்ப்பகிரகத்தில் நிலை பெறுகிறது. பஞ்சபூதம் ஆகிய நீர், நிலம், ஆகாயம், காற்று, நெருப்பு அனைத்தும் தாய் தந்தையின் உடலிலிருந்தே  எடுக்கப்பட்டு சிசுவின் உடலைப் பிறப்பிக்கின்றது. பிறக்கும் சிசு கருவுற மூலமாக இருப்பது பிராணவாயு. பிராணவாயு ஆணின் அணுக்களிலும் பெண்ணின் அணுக்களிலும் ஊடுருவி ஒன்றெனக் கலந்து பிரதான பொருள் வடிவம் அடையும் தன்மை உண்டானால் அங்கு உயிர் சக்தி உருவேற்ற படுகிறது. 

The Pranavayu is the primary cause of the conception of an embryo and a fetus. It flows in with the elements from both the parent moving it to take a shape that has the potential to become life. Life is hence given to the embryo. Air is breathed into the Pindam.

Pon. Govindasamy in his "Vallalaarum Brahma Gnana Sangamum", Bharath Book Bureau, Chennai, draws a chain of evolution here. The souls that were once atoms took on the form of Bhuta as in Pancha Bhutam or the five elements. Later changing into minerals, took on the plant form. Entering the forms of animals, they were reborn as humans. Finally, they end the journey here as Jeevan Muktas. This is not something that happens beyond and outside of the body. It is solely the maturity of the individual Soul or Jeeva. Thus, the journey is already charted for every one of us. It is just a matter of space-time before it is attained or should I say reduced to its original form. 

அணுக்களாகயிருந்த ஆன்மாக்கள், பூதவர்க்கங்களாக உருவெடுத்துப் பின் தாது வர்க்கங்களாக மாறி, பின் தாவர வர்கத்தையடைந்து, பின் விலங்கு வர்க்கத்தில் புகுந்து, பின் மானிட வர்க்கத்தில் ஜனனம் எடுத்து, இறுதியில் ஜீவன் முக்தர் வர்க்கத்தில் பரிபூரண தசையையடைகின்றன.

Tavayogi in his "Atma Thattuvam" describes the Jeeva as the merger of Udal and Uyir. உடலும் உயிரும் சேர்ந்து செயல்படுகின்ற ஒரு பொருளைதான் ஜீவன் என்கிறோம். உயிர் உடல் இரண்டையும் இணைத்து வைக்கின்ற ஒப்பற்ற கருவியே ஆத்மா எனப்படும். Like Agathiyar, Tavayogi too states that the Atma is a tool that binds both the Uyir and Udal. Though it is supposed to take charge and control of the Udal and Uyir, when we are caught in the grips of Maya or illusion in this world, we never realize its existence. 

ஆன்மா உடலையும் உயிரையும் தனது கட்டுப்பாட்டுக்குள் வைத்துக் கொள்ளும் ஒரு சூச்சமம். இந்தச் சூச்சமத்தை பிறந்த குழந்தைகள் 1  முதல் 5 வராகை வரையிலும் உடன் இருந்து மறையும். மறைத்தலின் காரணம் இன்னதென்று இப்போது உனக்குச் சொல்ல இயலாது. ஆனபோதிலும் ஆன்ம ஒருவரின் செயலைப் பொறுத்தே மீண்டும் அவனை வந்து சேரும். ஆன்மா உன்னோடு இருந்து உன்னை ஒரு பாதைக்கு இழுத்து செல்லும் அப்போது நீ அதனை உணர்ந்தாள், உன்னில் அதிர்வாய் தோன்றி மறையும். அந்த அதிர்வினை நீ உனக்குள் நீடிக்கப் பழகினால் உன்னால் ஆன்மா என்னும் உனது அதிர்வுகளில் ஊடுருவி என்னுள் (இறை / அகத்தியன்) வந்து சேர ஒரு வழி. 

The Atma keeps both the Udal and Uyir under its grip. But the Atma soon loses its grip and hold on us between 1 and 5 Varahai, a time period used in the ancient days that I have yet to find an equivalent terminology or reference to present times. Although Agathiyar said he could not reveal the reason for the Atma to be veiled, after several readings we figured out its reason. The period where the Atma is veiled is where the process of karma takes its natural course. The Atma that originates in the realm of the divine that is known as Paramatma comes as the Jeevatma to care for the new life that is taking shape in the mother's womb, hovering and staying with the Pindam and Uyir for a period of time that Agathiyar says is between 1 and 5 Varahai and then veils itself once karma is set into motion and play. What is said to be the divine Lila is the play of karma on one's life. But Agathiyar adds that the Atma makes its presence known depending on his or her actions. When life gives a trashing, he or she begins to question why his or her life was moving the way it did. He tries to ponder and figure it out. He is then told of karma. When karma asserts itself and life takes its toll and he or she is lost for a solution and surrenders to the divine, the Atma appears to help him or her out. 

ஆன்மா உனது கர்ம வினை தாங்கி வருவது அல்ல, ஆனால் ஆன்மாவே உனது கர்ம வினையைச் சரிசெய்வதற்கு உதவி புரியும். 

Agathiyar reveals a misconception that many including me, had and that I had carried in many of my earlier posts that the Atma carries the imprints of karma. It is not so. I remain corrected. Agathiyar reveals that contrary to this understanding, the Atma helps clear our karma by showing us the way.

கர்மவை சரி செய்த பின், ஆன்மாவின் தேடல் அதிகமாகி மனிதனின் அன்றாட தேடல் தீர்ந்து போகும். அவன் தேடல் முழுதாய் என்னையே தேடி வர முயற்சி செய்யும்.

Once karma is cleared, the search to know the Atma intensifies. His search for his selfish gain loses its intensity and his search to know the Self gains momentum. His seeking would be solely on knowing the Atma (Agathiyar) and reaching him.

ஆன்ம விடுதலை நோக்கிச் செல்லுங்கள் இல்லறவாழ்க்கை எப்போதுமே சுகமாய் இருக்கும். 

We are to seek Atma Vidutalai or release. In seeking salvation for the Atma it is not relieving the body of its Atma but rather the drawing back of the veil that has covered it the moment the tattvas and our ego gained ground and began to reign sending the Atma to the dungeons. In seeking release for the Atma it is not asking to be separated from the physical body but to be released from this dungeon. This is Atma Darisanam. Know that once the Atma is separated from the body call it anything but it still implies death. 

உனது உடலைப் பிரதானமாகக் கொண்டு இயங்குவது சுவாசம், அதுவே உயிர். உயிர் என்பது செயல் அற்று இருக்கக்கூடிய உறுப்பைச் செயல் பெறச் செய்வது. உடல் என்பது பஞ்ச பூதங்களில் உரு பெற்று மீண்டும் பஞ்ச பூதங்களிடம் சென்று விட்டால் உயிராகியது ஆன்மா வோடு கலந்து ஜோதிநிலையில் எம்மை வந்து அடையும். உடல் கூறு தத்துவமும் இதையே உமக்கு உணர்த்தும். 

When the Uyir or breath that drives and sustains the Udal or body unites with the Atma or Soul, it shines with Effulgence or Jothi and settles in Agathiyar.

A NOTE OF THANKS

Speaking to a Siddha practitioner I came to know the different approaches to administering medicines. If there is one drug in modern medicine, that is meted out to all for a particular problem, Siddha medicine is dispensed according to one's constitution. Similarly, our elders have given us a pantheon of Gods and Goddesses to please each segment of society to worship as they please. The calling to the Siddha path that eventually brings one to the dissolution of the Udal, Uyir, and Atma is one of them. 

Starting with the recitation of the names of the Siddhas and worship of them we get closer to these Deities knowing that the Siddhas too worshipped them and are sharing the method and practices that they had tried and tested with us. They bring us to light the flame be it from an oil lamp or the Homam and its larger version the Yagam. Soon they get us to observe the fire in us and our fiery breath and have us fan it, cool it, or correct its flow by giving us time-tested techniques. This is where we step out from the textbook knowledge to find out for ourselves the many changes that come in the form of transformation within us. Thenceforth it is each man for himself. 

If everybody can come together to recite the names of the Siddhas and light up the flame, Yoga is a personal experience that comes within each of us and varies between one another. No two experiences shall be the same. Just as Siddha medicine is dispensed according to one's constitution, the results of our efforts shall vary, according to our body constitution and the inherent energy patterns. Though Yoga is taught to the masses, the experience will vary from person to person. Learning from Tavayogi with several others I could not share notes with them about what I saw take place within me. It needs discipline and adherence to proper diet, the number of hours put in towards its practice, the extent one could push his or her body to perform the asanas, our breathing capacity, the state of mind and body, and other health issues all could either contribute to or retard the desired results. 

But as one progresses steadily under the watchful eye of a living guru or the Siddhas, the gurus bring down the grace of the divine energies to jumpstart the dormant battery in us. Now fully charged we are able to progress to higher levels and higher spheres. These energies that vibrate within heal the body, and sustain and nourish it as it travels the path less traveled. The energies traverse further moving the sluggish energies to awakening the dormant energy centers or chakras along its route. This movement varies from person to person and the time of arrival or taken to arrive from one point to another too defer. 

The eventual flowering of the petals and the blossoming of the flower that creates bliss in the crown and throughout the body right up to the cells is something to await and experience. But it is a wait worth waiting. The dawn of knowledge comes next. The rest of the journey takes place subtly within us. The body becomes a powerhouse as it is lighted up. Attaining the body of light is a rare thing indeed but it is not impossible as shown by a handful of saints.

If initially it is a lone search for the path, once we come upon it we join the crowd that goes ahead of us. Many a time we tend to take a break or rest or might even fall out or give up. We might find ourselves lost as no one is in sight or we find that others are way ahead of us. Placing more effort as in running to catch and keep pace with the others, we are finally told that the path has narrowed down and only one person is allowed at a time to further his journey. Here we realize that there is no one to follow and as we look back no one is following us too. It now is back to a solo journey as we had started back then. 

This is where we need the divine to light up the path and lead us further into unchartered territories. Otherwise, we will be crouping in the dark. Here then all the hours and days and years of our worship, acts of charity, and dharma come to give us a hand. The heavenly beings and the deities come down to usher and lead us to the heavenly kingdom. 

I am blessed and grateful to my parents, siblings, family, friends, upagurus, and gurus for all the assistance given to embark on a journey that few have had an opportunity to undertake for various reasons. When Ma Prapanjam came through a devotee yesterday and asked me if I was happy seeing her after having Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal mention her and passing me to her to lead me further, I only asked of her that it was not enough that I receive her grace but she has to shower her grace on everyone. She replied that as she was the Prapanjam she cared for all. She left uttering the words Shanti, Shanti, Shanti. If she had previously come down to us as torrents of energy that were brought about and made possible by Ramalinga Adigal, and had come in a dream to this disciple during the post-pandemic period, this was my first encounter with her taking a form to communicate with us. The Prapanjam has come to embrace us in her arms. Before she left she told me to summon her if the need be and she would come. Indeed we are speechless and indebted to the divine energies that are all around us and in us and in all matter. I take this opportunity to thank all those who followed this blog and messaged and wrote in too. It is all by his will. If he figures that it is enough someday, he shall drain the reservoir of ink. Till then I guess I shall keep on writing.

• Keep updating the blog, looking forward to more content...Great job, keep it up.
• Thanks for sharing as it is an excellent post would love to read your future post for more knowledge- I was in search of such a blog that explores my knowledge in the industry. 
• Excellent...very true what you said...tears..will..well up in your eyes...
• Amazing what you do..what you make do... I am sure Lord Agathiyar will continue to shower His choicest blessings on you and those close to you. Pranams.
• I am happy to find this post Very useful for me, as it contains a lot of information. thanks.
• Thank you all for sharing about Guru.
• Intha pathivu megavum arumaiya erunthathu.
• So true..the essence of the path that needs to be walked alone, albeit with the guidance of the Lord and Masters.
• Great words, Even greater mission and above greatest is your experience of the mystical world of Siddhars. It appears like you have put the words in your blog which also suit my experience which started when I met the worshipper of Sri Agasthya, Sri Remesh Guruji, and my spiritual journey to the world of Siddhars thereafter. If it was not a mystic world, how a hardcore engineer like me would have become a poet of Siddhars. All the writeups, prayers, and bhajans have come out of my pen I feel due to the guidance of Sri Agathiyar and these are available on the YouTube links given below. Kindly go through these at your convenience.
• To the blessed and beautiful soul who wrote this blog to enlighten others on their spiritual journey
• I am so immersed and touched by the blogs and articles... Trying to reach you through mail or cell contact.. pls pass it on. Am Dr by profession based in Mumbai...
• Very nice article, Thanks for more information. 
• Hi Shanmugam, I'm Siva living in India. I was pulled into this site and Sadhguru Agathiyar, for a reason I guess. How do I contact you?
• Sir, I went to see my Nadi with Nadi Noon Aasan T Ramesh after reading your blog for some days. Now I realize my past karma, the reason for the suffering I'm going through, and the parikaram. I would like to say 'thank you' to you for writing this blog and introducing me to Siddha. I have a long way to go but I believe this is the juncture for my new life!
• Thanks for your informative article.Thank you for your post about Kashi, I really enjoyed it.
• @Shan: First of all my sincere obeisance to you Sir...I ve just started following your blog...There is tons of information...Thank you for sharing all this info.
• Hi, Thanks for sharing this nice post. I really appreciate your blog. I love reading yoga and fitness blogs.
• Nice blog. Thank you for sharing.
• Hi, probably our entry may be off topic but anyway, I have been surfing around your blog and it looks very professional. It’s obvious you know your topic and you appear fervent about it. I’m developing a fresh blog plus I’m struggling to make it look good, as well as offer the best quality content. I have learned much from your website and I anticipate a lot more articles and will be coming back soon. Thank you.
• Dear Sir, I have become an ardent follower of your posts here. my bhakti towards Mahamuni Agathiyar is increasing slowly by reading your blogs and gnanbhoomi blogs as well. 
• Hi. I commented a few days earlier about karma questions. They are kind of solved now. I really love your blog and it is my only hope! Actually, I want to share with you my story! I think you are the only one who will understand. I actually read a lot of false spirituality stuff that made me believe that god is a maniac who has already fixed our destiny and we cannot do anything about it. It also told that the atman is a prisoner inside its own body and the body behaves on its own and we have to endure the effects of the karma that we didn't create in the first place. Through your blog, I understood that the atman acts through the body! 
• Hi sir. Thanks for a very enlightening post from none other than the great sage Agasthiar. I really prayed to him to tell me about the working of karma and he replied through your post!

A friend wrote in the following.

"Before I sit for work...I read one article on Siddha heartbeat (have some catching up to do) ..just to let you know the blog is pious... many will benefit from it in the generations to come. When I go through your writings in the blog and the experiences therein, the activation of chakras, the changes in the body, and how the most Graceful, merciful Guru takes care of every minute detail of what His disciple is going through while He is literally carrying you on the path. I know that this is no ordinary blog, these are no mumbo jumbo writings (in case someone has those thoughts). This is a divine blog. I strongly feel only those with a strong karmic balance of good deeds, devotion to the Siddhas, and those looking in all earnestness to travel on the Siddha path will get access to it. This will not be meant for everyone and when I say that I include myself too....as the journey traversed in such a long time is minuscule..  the path to be traveled is long and time is short. He will give each one of us what we deserve for He only knows what is the intensity of that which we are striving for vis a vis our Karmas ...past and present."

I thank him for his kind words. He shares his encounters with Agathiyar briefly.

"I told you earlier that Agathiar came to my home. He chose to come again. In this visit, HE speaks ... It takes many Janmas of devotion and bhakti for Agathiar to come to one's house. Do not think it happens in a single Janam. He says I have come and am sitting in your house... Why do you worry? You know Shan sir, see my level...a nonstarter and see Agathiar ji.....the Father of Siddhas, The greatest of Siddhas, the one to whom Shiv has delegated powers... I am speechless.... at times I become numb...I can't share with all as many will think me as having gone mad... can't type so much...will call you soon...so much to share and listen from you."

In a material world that chases after material gains and keeps to a tight schedule and packs us into a pressure cooker, the only solace is with the children, family, and friends. If they are not available then turn to God. Not in the temples for they too observe certain timings, but God who resides in us 24/7 till our last breath leaves. He listens. Just keep talking. Or it would be better if we remain silent and have him talk. Learn to see him in the gust of wind, in the heat of the day, in the chill of the rain showers, in the mouthful of food we take, in the breath that we inhale, in the aroma in the air, in the arms of another, and in a child's play. He never deserts us.

THE PRAPANJAM

The first reference to her was made by Agathiyar. In trying to convince me to carry out the ritual of lighting the Homam that Tavayogi had asked me to do at my home after my return from visiting him at his ashram in 2005, which I reluctantly did as I was not keen on rituals then, Agathiyar pointed out in the Nadi that the ritual was not solely to fulfill my needs but for the betterment of the lives. Tavayogi himself was carrying out an annual ritual of a similar nature but in a more extensive and bigger way in the form of a Yagam to calm and appease her after she came as the Tsunami in 2004. 

The next time it was mentioned was by Lord Shiva who came through a devotee asking us to conduct the ritual to heal her. We had placed our prayers before Lord Shiva following Agathiyar's directive in December of 2020 so that the pandemic would subside and we could carry out his annual Jayanthi in February of 2021 and life could get back to the usual norm, where breadwinners could bring bread and butter to their dinner tables and most importantly children can play outdoors enjoying the world and its sights and sounds. 

I sent a message around asking all to pray.

"An individual could appease his individual karma through remedies and individual prayer. We are currently victims of collective karma. Only collective prayer could possibly address collective karma. Hence, the need has arisen to come together in a single and specific thought. As coming together physically might not be possible during these times of the pandemic, collective thought shall break through the barriers laid on our path and bring success in all our noble endeavors. As every conscious thought is registered in the cosmic consciousness. It gains momentum and strength and power by the grace of the divine beings and comes back to us to heal us and the world, shall we all come together tomorrow Sunday 13.12.2020 at 12 noon Malaysian Standard Time to sit silently and place our requests before Lord Shiva as per Agathiyar's directive? This is in line with Agathiyar's directive that we come together in asking and to move Lord Shiva who is known to grant boons to shower his grace and kindness in removing this pandemic that has shown its ugly face in its entirety. Agathiyar said he too shall try his best in convincing Shiva. Maybe the divine hand can go back in time and make some adjustments and bring a positive outcome." 

In view of the lockdowns, we conducted the above-said prayer at the same time from each individual's home without the need to gather together physically. But as the pandemic continued to rear its ugly face, friends and relatives we knew slowly succumbed to it, and as there was no positive sign of it coming to an end, we needed immediate divine intervention. Man has exhausted himself fighting this battle alone. It was time we sought divine help. When the Hindu Gods took arms in the face of a threat from the evil forces as told in the Puranas, we had to resort to the use of mantras, Homam, and puja and use them as arms to fight against a threat of a different kind and ward off the danger. As fear set in, I remembered Agathiyar telling Jnana Jothiamma to recite the Mrityunjaya mantra in the face of danger. It is supposed to remove the fear of the unknown and the fear in us. We held another prayer asking that the devotees call upon all their gurus too to appeal to Lord Shiva. We needed their might and strength to hold on and see through this pandemic. The response was very good this time around compared to the handful who came together in December 2020. It was at Mahindren's home puja that day that Lord Shiva revealed and explained in detail what was taking place and the process of healing. Mahindren took two hours to recite the Mrityunjaya mantra and the Dhanvantri mantra which he included during the Homam, each 108 times. At the end of the ritual, Lord Shiva rose to address his family. Lord Shiva mentioned her. He declared that the very Prapanjam seems threatened. 

"மனிதர்கள் பிரபஞ்சத்தோடு இணைந்து பிரபஞ்சத்தைக் கவசமாய் பயன்படுத்தி பிரபஞ்சத்தைச் சுத்தம் செய்ய வேண்டும். பிரபஞ்சம் சுத்தம் அடையும் தருணம் இந்த நோய் முற்றிலும் குணமடையும். பிரபஞ்சத்தோடு இணையும்பொழுது உங்களில் ஏற்படும் அதிர்வுகள் அணுவாய் மாறிப் பிரபஞ்சத்தைத் தூய்மை செய்யும். அதுநாள் வரை இந்த நோய் நீண்டகாலம் இருக்கச் செய்யும். சிவன் நானும் உங்களோடு இணைந்து பிரார்த்தனைகளை முன்வேய்ப்பேன் பிரபஞ்சம் தூய்மை பெற. முடிந்தமட்டிலும் ஒவ்வொருவரும் இந்த ஹோமத்தைச் வாரம் ஒரு நாள் செய்து வாருங்கள். யாரெல்லாம் கலந்துகொள்ள முடியுமோ கலந்து கொள்ளதும். பூஜையில் இணைவோருக்கு இந்த நோய் பாதிக்காது. உங்களின் பூஜையை நான் ஏற்றுக்கொண்டேன். ஷண்முகனிடம் இவற்றைப் பகிர்ந்துகொள்ளுங்கள். எழுத்து வடிவில் உலக மக்களுக்குக் கொண்டு சேர்க்கட்டும்." 

He said that man now needs to join forces with the Prapanjam and use her as a force field or shield and engage in cleansing his surroundings. When it's cleansed the world will be completely rid of the virus. When we engage with the Prapanjam the vibration that arises within us shall become atoms that shall cleanse the Prapanjam. The virus will be around till that day (till it is eradicated fully). Shiva will join us in prayers to cleanse the Prapanjam. He asked that we try to do the Homan once a week. Those who can join, do so, he says (In lieu of the lockdown). Those who engage in this prayer will be safe. He has accepted today's Puja. "Share this with Shanmugam", he says. "Let it be known to all through his writings."

When the pandemic gave way to the endemic phase and we started to breath and move on with life with some adjustments Prapanjam came during a devotees meditation and asks us to carry out the above puja again as the virus was likely to make a comeback. She asks the devotee to inform me so that I could share on this blog. We carried it out as told.

From that moment on we were actively brought to engage with her. We got to know her up close. She too began to embrace us in her arms.

DOCKING INTO THE PRAPANJAM

God does not have a fixed form. He comes in any form we desire to see him. For starters, we are shown a picture or statue and told that he is God. This is to help us start on a journey of self-discovery. We owe our gratitude to our parents and ancestors for starting us off. This phase, which is known as Sariyai, sees us visit temples and light a lamp at our home altar that soon paves the way for a yearning to reach out to him. As soon as that thought appears the yearning increases and the search begins, a Guru in human form appears before us. He starts us off with the rituals that make way for God to step into our lives, homes, and hearts. This phase which is known as Kriyai sees us extend a hand to the community and society, engaging in charity and service. The guru now has us delve deep within us and quench our thirst, bringing a stop to our external search. We settle in the self. This phase that is Yogam brings us to the dawn of Gnanam where we are showered with all the answers to all our doubts and questions. The next phase is one of transforming the physical into the subtle and a return to the core elements. One then merges with, and in the Prapanjam. 

Though one who passes away has his physical body buried or burned and its elements returned to nature, these are still in gross form. But the form of a saint is purified and refined and takes on a subtle form before returning to the Prapanjam. He can transmigrate, reassemble, or assemble another body at will. He has "conquered" nature and its laws, and the Tattvas, or rather Prapanjam comes to his aid. Furthermore, he can summon Prapanjam to do his will. A rapport is cemented between Prapanjam and him. We always refer to the government, but who or what, or where is the government? It is the very public servants who serve within this body. These civil servants themselves are the government. Similarly, the saint is then Prapanjam itself.

The most compassionate father did show us his true self. Agathiyar showed us that he was the Prapanjam taking form coming through a devotee and addressed us when I visited him in his new home today. He stood as the Prapanjam that cannot be defined and is formless but yet takes any form we desire. Agathiyar sitting as the bronze statue amazed me. I saw him in deep meditation with his eyes closed partially. He looked stern, poised, and serene. When I shared my observation, the host in turn shared that indeed Agathiyar had told her in her hours of meditation that he would be in tavam during his stay in their home. But after we did the libation of abhisegam, he opened his eyes and was smiling, just as he had given darshan at my home AVM all these years. I could not fail to notice that he had a large pot belly and had put on some weight around his waist. Mentioning this to the host, she shared the same observation, telling me that the children were feeding him continuously. 

Can a metal idol change shape and its look? Well, it sure can, by the looks of him. Furthermore, this reminded me of the time when we carried Agathiyar around the temple grounds at the Mayuranathar temple in Dengkil many years back. As the AVM family members assembled to ceremoniously carry Agathiyar around the temple grounds on a Pallakku, or litter, the throne-like chair, with two long poles underneath the chair, initially these youths stood unassuming, cool, and calm. But as I sang the song inviting Agathiyar to grace the Siddhar Vizha we held there, these boys began to feel his weight. We could see that the four litter bearers were finding it difficult to continue carrying Agathiyar as he was gaining weight. They all attested to this unique phenomenon that took place that day that we were all witness to.

Similarly, when a devotee volunteered to carry AVM Agathiyar from my car to the home of a devotee on the eighth floor of a condominium, he quipped that Agathiyar was light. After the puja was over, he volunteered to bring his statue down. He turned to me and said, "My God, he is heavy!"

A story is narrated in http://www.yourgoodtime.in/TemplesAndScience.aspx of the Nachiyar Temple, Narayur Nambi Perumal Temple in Kumbakonam, Tamil Nadu, India, that shows how energized the temple statues are. The Garuda, the vehicle or Vahana of Lord Vishnu near the inner sanctum sanctorum at this temple, which was made of a huge granite stone 6 feet in height, was brought out during the annual Brahmotsavam festival. If only two people were required to lift the Garuda in the confines of this temple, as many as 64 people were required to carry it eventually at the peak of the occasion! It is very obvious that its weight kept on increasing as it made its way around the temple grounds. On returning it to its original spot, as its weight decreased, it required only the original two to carry it.

Of course, we can never forget how Agathiyar opened his left eye in his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli and both eyes at Papanasam in 2005 and opened both his eyes in his bronze statue at AVM in 2013.

This world is full of mysticism and wonders, provided we choose to believe.

After taking up his call to come to the worship of the Siddhas, and after he came into my home in the form of a bronze statue, I told Agathiyar that if he was to help only those who worshiped him, I was going to leave him. I told him if he was to only assume a specific and particular form and name, I was leaving him. I wanted a comprehensive, all-encompassing, and enveloping God who embraces all immaterial of what gender we were, what race or belief or color we were, what nation we belonged to, and irrespective of our economic standing. I also asked him to show me this form or name that every single human could accept. Agathiyar in telling me that he was moving out of AVM also told us that he shall bring down Prapanjam before he leaves. Today, his room is "empty" except for an oil lamp burning 24/7. Or is it truly empty? It is only logical and sensible that his statue leaves after he shows himself as the Prapanjam. 

I did not comprehend what Lord Murugan said when in asking me to build his temple he told me that I would show him differently until a new devotee at AVM who stepped into this space pointed out that we had shown Lord Murugan as the very Prapanjam. She also requested me to continue writing. Similarly, I did not realize how Agathiyar embraced all at AVM without sidelining anyone after another devotee who was with us from the early years of worship shared his observation. It was true that we did not ask visitors and devotees from where they came, whether they had their baths, what they ate, whether they were vegetarians or otherwise, whether they worship the Siddhas in their homes, etc. Neither did we impose rules and regulations that they needed to adhere to, before coming in. We gave everyone an opportunity to participate and carry out the rituals, even if he was a stranger to us. All these were pointed out by him. He also added how Agathiyar, rather than chasing them away at the onset for all the above reasons, had instead embraced all into his fold first and very subtly brought about changes in them later over time without compelling or forcing these changes down their throat or scaring them away. When I was harsh with the words in a draft of a post, Agathiyar came asking me to tone it down, otherwise, it would drive away readers in fear, he said. I did not comprehend the worth of my days of solitude, during the pandemic, thinking that I had wasted precious time unable to carry out all the events we had been doing prior to the lockdown, until another devotee pointed out that I had indeed gained much by letting go.

As we have read excessive Kapha adversely affects the nerves, I am expelling much mucus or Kapha. I believe Prapanjam did come to my aid healing my eye with her gentle touch today. And she did ask after the healing if I was happy. She asked me to get in touch with her the next time I needed her help.

I am grateful to Ramalinga Adigal who helped us all get connected to her and for Agathiyar for exposing his true nature and form or rather the formless form or taking on the many forms that we desire to see him in. 

LIFE & MIRACLES

As I was having a sensation of grittiness in my left eye the past week I saw the eye doctor. The last time I felt it two years ago the doctor discovered that I had cataracts and operated on both my eyes. Agathiyar then tells me that he had sent me there.

This time around though I had the discomfort in my left he discovered that my optic nerves had thinned out or broken in the right eye.  I understood later from surfing the net that it could cause a loss of vision. Though he did not say it, it was pretty obvious that irreversible damage had been done and that he was very concerned about it. He asked that I protect my eyes from the extreme heat and the sun's rays. He prescribed suitable eyeglasses.

The last time I saw the look and worry and concern in him was when he discovered that my daughter had a retina detachment. He immediately referred her to his friends at the General Hospital who immediately attended to her. After two years she is going about her work as usual. Again Agathiyar told us that he had sent her there. Read about it at https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2021/04/amazing-stories.html. My daughter carried her story on video too at https://youtu.be/P3vlCux0Rug

Chitramuthu Adigal and Tavayogi had lost their eyesight at one point in their lives. 

Muthu met Jeganatha Swamigal in Malaya and Jeganatha Swamigal took him as his disciple and gave him a new name - Chitramuthu. Jeganatha Swamigal helped Chitramuthu realize his true self, his full potential, and his mission in life. Chitramuthu left for India where he had another child whom he named after Jeganatha Swamigal. Losing his eyesight and unable to bear it anymore, he decided to end his life. That is when he had a vision where an old man handed him a lime. Chitramuthu abandoned the thought of taking his own life. He left for Ramanathapuram hoping to get treatment at the government hospital. At the railway station, one Suppiah Pillai came to his aid and took Chitramuthu to his home. Asking Chitramuthu to wait outside, Suppiah went into his home but never returned. Chitramuthu moved on. A government official took him to a Siddha physician who treated him. After two years in Alagan Kulam, he regained his sight. He left for Malaya again in 1940. This time he came to spread his teachings. He wore the ochre robes and took on the role of a spiritual teacher. He became known as Chitramuthu Adigal.

Thangarasan was brought to a temple in Methupalaiyam by his mother and spent a year with many others who were blind often conducting "pattimandrams" within this circle. The Goddess in this temple was famed and said to heal the blind. When I was journeying with Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal in 2005, he brought me here. After a year had lapsed and there was no sign of recovery Thangarasan decided to end his life falling into the path of a train. That is when he heard a voice say "I am here." Thangarasan dropped his intent and moved on. Eventually, he gained his eyesight and went back to his family and business promising to become a mendicant when he attained fifty. He came to be known as Thaai Veedu Thangarasan and later Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal.

Supramania Swami too was blind at one time in his life. Supramanian used to follow his father to the woods to chop down the Leafy Milk Hedge or Naga-Kalli. That is when the sap of the tree blinded him. A partially blind Supramanian made his way to Madras hoping to receive treatment at the government hospital. A police officer seeing him struggle alone on the streets of Madras called for an ambulance that took him to the hospital. One of the doctors sent for an American doctor to get a second opinion. The American doctor said he could save Supramanian’s eyesight and he subsequently performed six operations on Supramanian. The politician MU Karunanidhi who was undergoing treatment for his illness at the hospital took up the cost of operating on Supramanian. He came to be known as Supramania Swami.

My eyesight had improved tremendously over the years. In the eighties, the lens power required to correct your vision was -4.75 and -5.25.  I saw a drastic improvement in my eyesight when after joining my first job in 1980 at the age of 20, I had to survive on raw vegetables and fresh fruits that replaced my midday meal as the eateries were closed to observe the Muslim fasting month. I continued the practice of supplementing my meals with a diet of fruits which saw further improvement and reduction of power. In 2011 it dropped to -3.25 and -4.00. The following year it was -3.00 and -3.75.  In 2014, it was -2.75 and - 3.75 respectively. In 2020, it came down to -1.50 and -1.75. Last Wednesday, at 64, it stood at -0.50 and -0.75. Aint this a miracle?

Me and my daughter too would need another miracle if we were to lose our eyesight. 

WE ARE BACK TO UNDO THE HARM DONE

If Tavayogi was a man of few words only passing an occasional remark or a statement as he passed by, Agathiyar never told us the full story. They want us to experience it first and learn from it. Only later shall they come by to confirm either the sighting or our understanding. So has it gone on for all these years. We too have come to accept their ways.

Experience is a good teacher. One might forget the guru's teachings, but we never forget what life teaches us. Each scar on us shall remind us of a past happening. Each place brings back memories. When these experiences and memories are itched deep in us, we carry them with us for years till our memories fail us and we cannot recollect or connect the scar with a memory. 

A friend asked me "Can you tell me the meaning of OM Shivaya saba nasi nasi." It is a mantra to relief or lift curses. Curses are scars and wounds that are somehow knowingly or unknowingly inflicted on others through words or actions. When Mataji told me to say the phrase "Siddhar Saabam Nasi Nasi" whenever we pluck a flower or a leaf or a tuber, I wondered if plants were cursed like man. There are many unbelievable stories surrounding curses that many have spoken about and chose to believe. Even in the movie  "News of the World" there were instances when happenings or people were said to be curses. Dr.Krishnan a Siddha physician and Medical astrologer had mentioned it to me before even Agathiyar spoke about it in my Nadi. Should we even be talking about curses and superstitions in this age of science and technology? I believe that one resorts to religion only when science fails him. When logic and maths fail him he turns to religion for answers. What science cannot explain religion does and vice-versa. 

Curses aside, Ramalinga Adigal listed a list of possible sins that we might have committed that brings us to take another birth in the following song. It runs shivers down our spine to even think if we had done all these deeds in the past and had come to redeem and reap its effects. 

In the following song, a devotee screams his heart out asking what sins did he do to deserve this birth? In this song, he refutes having done all the sins that Ramalinga Adigal listed above. As such he asked if it was fair of the Goddess to treat him the way she did? 

If in the above song the devotee screams his heart out to the divine for answers, in the following song another devotee pleads with the Lord asking why he was silent and turning a deaf ear.

Sins are also only applicable if we choose to believe in rebirth. Although the sins of the past come to haunt us while living what if the time remaining isn't sufficient for payback. The Karma extends to the next life.

In the following song, we are shamefully reminded of how we cheat ourselves into believing that we are religious and spiritual and how we deceive and treat God. It is as if the song was written for me to expose all my faults. Just as Tavayogi and Agathiyar break us each time the ego rises in us, this song surely broke me.

I felt very guilty listening to these songs. We are not angels. We have done our share of harm to others. Thus we are here, given another opportunity to correct the harm done either directly or through other means by pleasing the one harmed or others and gaining their blessings. 

Now I understand why Tavayogi shows us all to the Siddhas when we stand before him for want of answers to our life's troubles. He would explain that it was Vinai or Karma that was the reason for our suffering. If we are interested to know more he will give us a solution. The solution would be by way of coming to worship the Siddhas. He would not mess with others' karma nor give suggestions to overcome our problems. The solution comes by way of the Siddhas once we start worshipping them. The Siddhas shall lead us away from harm's way and show us the light that lights up our lives. The Siddhas being the Prapanjam themselves could easily manipulate time and space that takes control of mankind. They are the saviors, the beacons, and the lighthouse beaming the light to us provided we take notice and take heed of the signs and signals. Bringing us to understand life from a different perspective, one that is different in the eyes of science, eventually they have us understand the subtle meanings of life. Now I understand why Agathiyar after calling me to the worship of the Siddhas in 2002 and calling others to join me in Puja and doing charity beginning in 2013, had us wind up and close shop and go solo in 2019, telling us that henceforth the journey has to be taken alone. Religion and spiritualism are for the individual soul to explore and experience and find its way home. We never see saints bringing with them the crowd, the followers, their disciples, or even their families when they step into the sacred space, do we?

BREATHING LIFE INTO MATTER

As God does not have a gender, rather than address him in the pronoun "It" that we often refer to things, for our purpose we use the pronoun "Him". Similarly, the seeker, aspirant, or devotees are addressed as "him". Ladies, please do not get offended. 

No one has seen God. What they have seen are images or visions of the many manifestations of God according to what and how they desired to see him. I too wanted to see Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal. I told this to Tavayogi. He told me it was possible but quickly asked if that was what I wanted? When Agathiyar came asking us what we wanted, I had nothing to ask. Since he waited patiently for my reply, I thought being born again and again and serving him as we did now would be appropriate. Agathiyar like Tavayogi asked if that was what I wanted? Thinking Gnana was what we should ask as Tavayogi always speaks about this state and asks us to come out of Bhakti, Agathiyar heard my conversation with Mahindren over the phone and the next time he came told me that I had asked for it. He told me that Gnana was not gifted but we have to work towards it. It was only later that it dawned on us that we should ask to be with the Thiru Kootam or Divine Group or circle of the Siddhas. This is how Agathiyar shapes our thoughts, desires, and future. Similarly, Supramania Swami and Tavayogi molded us into the beings we are today. We are grateful to our gurus. But Supramania Swami surprised me when asking me to pay attention to my Tavam or austerities, he said that only then shall he arise in his stature. He saw the Jothi before he went into samadhi at Tiruvannamalai. Many years later when the Siddhas began to speak to us through devotees, Dhanvanthri and Agathiyar mentioned that we had helped Tavayogi attain the state of Jothi and that he keeps guiding us. It looks like just as the student needs the guru to guide him on the path, and the guru needs the student to evolve further. There is no guru if there are no students and vice-versa.

Similarly, God only exists if we exist and choose to believe in him. Otherwise, he is just an ordinary stone or other material. Man shapes the image of God that was seen in visions passed on or handed to him by his ancestors. He brings life into it by conducting rituals and chants. We give life to it or rather infuse the breath of life into it. We help a particular piece of ordinary granite rock to attain a higher state of evolution by our worship of it. In comparison, another slab of granite from the same source or mountain or hill would serve as a slab on the path of the pilgrims hiking up to a hill temple or walking the corridors of the temple. Another could be part of the walls, the beams, and columns or part of the roof slab.

Agathiyar rather than have me read about the Agamas from books and texts, as I did in the days of my bachelorhood, gave me first-hand experience and an opportunity to bring life into a metal. The first mention of a peedham and Agathiyar taking his place there was on 8th December 2008. Gaining the consent of my brother-in-law who was in the midst of putting up a Brindavanam for saint Raghavendra, Agathiyar assured us that he was to come to bring the light within us to shine intensely and bright.

On 8th January 2009, he revealed more about his statue. 

He had me commission a bronze statue of him with the intent to place it at the Brindavan upon completion. His statue was cast according to his specifications and in the image of his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli at a foundry in Swamimalai as directed by Agathiyar in the Nadi reading. Agathiyar decided who was to do it. Varadraj of Swamimalai offered to take up the tasks. Agathiyar was brought to the Adhi Kumbeswar temple in Kumbakonam upon completion where a simple blessing ritual followed. He was couriered to Malaysia. Upon arrival on our shores, Agathiyar transited to my home waiting for the completion of the Brindavan. Agathiyar asked us to conduct an abhisegam or libation to the statue. We were instructed to chant his name 100,000 times. We only managed 45,000 with family and a handful of friends whom we had gathered back then on 3rd January 2010. But the all-forgiving father accepted our puja as he revealed in a later reading.

What surprised us was that Agathiyar had told us that we should give life to his statue after Varadraj gave him the form, a replica of his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli. This I guess was through the chanting of his name. Indeed just as God breathes life into us, we breathe life into his images and idols. We have helped fulfill the final tenet that Agathiyar gave mankind after coming to know: the reason we took birth; and thence offering our gratitude and appreciation to our creator; serving him and fellow humans; fulfilling our obligation towards society, to finally help life in the lower planes to achieve a higher state through association with us, our thoughts and our actions. These five tenets that Agathiyar presented at the Tamil Sangam in the past and were revealed to us through Vashisht Vaid's blog confirmed the many stages that Agathiyar led us on through the regular reading of the Nadi. The Shanti Canto exposed our faults and the faults in the stars and revealed our purpose here. Through the Teecha Canto, he had us pay our due respect to our creator, offering our gratitude and appreciation. The Aasi Canto that followed on a regular basis had us serve him and fellow devotees by having us engage in worship of the Siddhas. Bringing us to do charity he had us serve and fulfill our obligation towards society. 

The final lap of the tenet had us help life in the lower planes to achieve a higher state through association with us, our thoughts, and our actions. The mud from the river banks of Kaveri at Swamimalai that was used to encase the wax figurine, and the hot molten metal that was poured into the mold giving birth to the bronze statue that came to be cast, gained a status to be worshipped as Agathiyar. The five metals that originated from the earth were heated up by the fire element and poured into the mold made of mud that originated out of the earth and water element, from the banks of river Kaveri that flowed by Swamimalai brought forth a wonderful and beautiful replica of Agathiyar's statue at Agasthiyampalli that graced AVM, elevating these elements to the status of Agathiyar with constant and regular puja. Agathiyar revealed in the Jeeva Nadi that many miracles will be shown through this statue of his. This statue would come "alive". All these will take place with Lord Muruga's blessings. By performing rituals on it over the past years the metal indeed became alive as told and opened its eyes just as Agathiyar opened his eyes in his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli when Tavayogi brought me there. Agathiyar reiterates that these miracles had taken place in Jnana Jyothiamma's presence too, reminding us of the miracle he performed at AVM in October 2013, where during the libation or abhisegam, Agathiyar most graciously opened his eyes to bless all those present, including Jnana Jyothiamma who was visiting us then.

Just as the building blocks of the temples have attained permanent residence in the house of God serving him and his devotees well, owing to the reason that other elements and items cannot move into these sacred places on their own accord, we need to assist and elevate them by wearing on them on us or bringing them along as in the wearing of silk attires, the many accessories that accompany our dressing, and many other offerings like the coconut and fruits. Through the rituals, the materials and items used in these rituals served the divine. The flower petals rather than falling to the ground and decomposing, reach his Holy Feet gaining moksha. The flowers that are chosen to form a garland are used to adorn him further. Similarly, all the rest of the items used in puja of the divine are elevated to a divine state, releasing them from their lower forms. They too are given an opportunity to serve the divine. Taking on the energies of the divine, besides becoming holy, and becoming prasad to his devotees they gain moksha or liberation. While we appeased the unseen forces and energies in the other planes that receive our offerings through puja, libation, and fire sacrifice, the items that are used to perform libation drain away and both along the way and finally as it reaches the sea, become food for many microscopic organisms. 

Rather than aimlessly travel this journey Agathiyar threw the loop and roped us in at the nick of time bringing us to his fold, bringing us to know our purpose here, and bringing an understanding of the workings of the universe and therefore saving us and the soul within. Today Agathiyar in the form of the bronze statue at my home AVM has happily moved into another home to bring together and elevate other souls too.

THE START

Going by the many Nadi readings and the many revelations that Agathiyar gave coming through devotees in later years, we begin to learn the reasons for taking birth, the process, and how it is depicted in each individual horoscope, and stored as his thumbprint, and according to some sources in the Coccyx or tailbone at the bottom of the spine.

I saw my horoscope for the first time when I was 23 years of age, brought to Mr. A.M. Turaisamy by my brother-in-law. The calculations were based on my hospital records and the time registered on my birth certificate back then. It was 3.53 a.m. But surprisingly his predictions never turned out into reality. Later in 1996, I came to be introduced to Dr.Krishnan by Mr.Sethu from my office. His predictions too never materialized though many gave the thumbs-up for him. But surprisingly his prediction of my pilgrimage to India and me meeting my guru came true. He had predicted that when I was 43, the Sani Desai and Kethu Buddhi would bring forth my travel and receive Upadesa from my guru. True to what was predicted, I happened to read the Nadi in 2002 and Agathiyar revealed himself as my Moola guru and asked that I go on a pilgrimage which I undertook subsequently some months later in 2003.

The Nadi was mentioned to me by Dr.Krishnan too from whom I came to know about the existence of Siddhas. After patronizing him for some two years, I put forth my question on 13 November 1998, if his predictions had never turned out to be true. He replied in the affirmative and pointed out the reason for it too. If we had curses, predictions in horoscopes would not take place. Asking him to look into my charts and see if I had been cursed he replied that it was not possible. Only the Siddhas know about them and can reveal them in the Nadi. As I did not know of any Nadi reader then and since the Dr. did not point me to one, the subject ended there. It was only in 2002, that an officemate shared his experience reading the Nadi two years back. I became excited and asked if the reader was around. Soon I stood before the Nadi reader Senthilkumar. We could not find a matching Nadi even after going through three bundles. What surprised me was that there was a Nadi that aligned with me and I thought was mine except that the name of my wife was different. We skipped it. The question arose in me then if there was another "Me" married to another lady whose life was running parallel to mine? This mystery has not been answered till now. 

When Sentilkumar told me to come after two weeks, I agreed to the preview of the contents that described me, my family, and my career, that we located in the first bundle itself. On 14 December 2002, he read out the full text of my Nadi. Describing the lines that were ascertained from my thumbprint, Agathiyar went on to chart my horoscope based on the moment life came into me and I took on this body. He spoke about the present and future in the General Canto. He spoke about the disappointments and obstacles in my life that came about as a result of past vinai or sins, deeds, and actions, the faults in the stars or planets, and curses. Having told the reason for the delays, hurdles, and the said predictions not taking place he gave a solution. By carrying out Agamas or rituals, the path shall clear. Although it was an accurate account of me and my present life, the future predicted in this Nadi did not materialize, nor did the horoscope Agathiyar laid out in the Nadi tally with what was charted by Turaisamy or Krishnan. I went back to Dr.Krishnan with the transcript of the Nadi reading. He compared both my horoscopes the one he charted based on the time 3.53 a.m. and that which Agathiyar had "plotted". Dr.Krishnan worked backward to determine my time of birth. According to Agathiyar, I should have been born after sunrise, in the morning at 9.25am! Henceforth I did not refer to my horoscope but let Agathiyar dictate my life. I gave myself completely to him and his course. I realize now that it was all a plot or his play to have me do his work later. My life was hijacked by Agathiyar to do his work rather than leave me to carry on aimlessly doing my stuff. 

Reading the Shanti Canto, Agathiyar revealed the extent of curses I had accumulated in a previous birth that warranted this birth and was the reason I took another birth. I had to undergo some troubles in this life that were an extension of my past bad deeds. The most compassionate father knowing that it would be unfair to us, did not leave us to suffer the consequences of our past actions, which we have no inkling of, in past births that we do not even remember having taken. He gave me remedies to soften the effects of my past actions. These remedies were in line with my faith, beliefs, and practices then. First and foremost he had me pay my gratitude to the Siddhas who had documented my life's happenings, the past, present, and future by way of passing new clothing, fruits, and cash amounting to Ringgit 308. I did as told. A small puja was conducted by Senthilkumar who recited the names of numerous Siddhas and accepted the contribution on behalf of them. That day I was introduced to the names of these Siddhas. He passed me the small booklet he read from that I then started to recite in my home puja. Today I can safely say that that small amount I paid as a token of appreciation was the deposit and downpayment to bigger rewards that were to come my way. It opened up the avenue and space that saw me sit before Agathiyar eagerly awaiting for him to speak to me through the Nadi as many as 55 times in the years to come. Agathiyar began to guide me through the numerous Aasi Cantos at times calling me in each week for a reading. 

Agathiyar in the Shanti Canto instructed me to go on a pilgrimage of temples both locally and in India to pay homage to the Gods and Goddesses in the Hindu pantheon of Gods which I did several months later. That had appeased the Gods and the planets which began to favor me in my future endeavors. Once Karma was alienated the journey was smooth sailing. I realized that I had to come to see the Nadi to learn about Karma, and God's law of cause and effect to know the reason Lord Siva came into my dream in 1988 and put a stop to all my reading, puja and anguish, and anger towards the Gods that arose then as I could not comprehend the reasons for others' sufferings then. I had questioned why would an all-compassionate and loving God torture his children and devotees? 

In the third Canto, the Teechai Canto, that I read that blissful day in December of 2002, Agathiyar spoke further about the dangers and obstacles showing me the worship of specific deities, introducing me to mantras and getting me to chant them. Finally, he reveals the Gnana Canto. He revealed what was in store for me and spelled out the pilgrimage to specific temples in India that I had to undertake to counter the existing karma done in this birth that would otherwise derail my spiritual efforts and Yogic practices and prevent me from reaping its benefits. Agathiyar introduced certain breathing or Vaasi practices in the Nadi besides asking me to continue the recitation of the names of the Siddhas. To bring me to these places and to help me finetune these yogic practices, Agathiyar showed me to Tavayogi in 2005. He directed me to stay a few days in his Ashram at Kallar. Besides the temples mentioned by Agathiyar to visit, Tavayogi took me on excursions and spiritual explorations into the woods and caves to taste the life he had been through giving me an idea of how life would be living as a Siddha. This was the start of a new and true journey as Tavayogi put it to me at the start of our first leg of the journey towards exploring the Siddhas.

THE HIDDEN HAND

After leaving my daughters at the MRT station where they took the Mass Rapid Transport into the city to host their company event at the Mega Career and Study Fair over the weekend, my granddaughters and I stopped over at the public park nearby where they wanted to watch the tortoises and fishes in the pond that attracted the migrating storks. Upon arriving, we were greeted by two crows sitting on a low tree branch. When my granddaughters asked them to tell a story, they let out loud caws. When they asked them where they were from and where they were headed, they kept cawing. So it looks like our elders lied when they told us the story of “The Fox and The Crow”, of how the crow opened its beaks to sing.

"Once upon a time, in a jungle, lived a crow. One day he was searching for food when he suddenly saw a piece of cheese on the nearby table. The crow grabbed it in his beak and flew to a faraway tree, as he did not want to share it with anyone else. A fox was passing by as he was sitting on a branch with the cheese in his beak. He saw the crow and thought of getting the cheese for himself. He immediately started flattering the crow. He started saying how beautiful the crow and his wings were. The fox also said that he had heard that crows are excellent singers, and if he sang for him, he would declare him to be the most beautiful voice in the entire jungle. Flattered by the fox’s words, the crow opened his beak to sing and ended up dropping the cheese on the ground. The fox quickly picked up the cheese, laughed at the crow, and left. The crow sat there, realizing how foolish he had been." (Source: https://www.firstcry.com) 

The moral of the story though is that we all fall for flattery. It gives us a feel-good feeling. When it gets to our heads, we lose our ground. All the hype and attention too brings us to bite the dust. We have to have our heads clear at all times. 

From the park, we headed for a mall close by to buy my three-year-old granddaughter a new pair of shoes. They grow out of it at a pretty fast pace. As they were hungry we had a kids meal at a fast food restaurant. As we left for the car an old Malay lady passed us to return the trolley. I gave her a smile. Just as we all got into the car she came running towards us. She took two ten Ringgit notes and with my permission gave them to my granddaughters. She spoke fluent English telling me it was rare to see one smile these days. Indeed people have forgotten to smile. Walking at the park we observe many observe us from far but the moment we cross paths they turn the other side as if we would ask them to borrow some money. 

People have become bitter. We do see road bullies abusing other road users. People have forgotten courtesy and forgotten to give way to others. If only we could put ourselves in the other's shoes we would begin to respect others and their needs. We don't need to infringe on their space or privacy but a simple smile could do wonders, a hello would go a long way, or giving way for others would be a kind gesture that could come back to us in other forms.

Some time back a man my age fell with a thud and a cry just after he had passed me at the park. I turned to help him. He sat up groaning in pain. He was inspecting himself for injuries. I waited for him to get composed. Only then did I ask him if he was alright. He seemed fine as he could stand up and walk. I asked if I had to inform anyone but he replied he had friends somewhere in the park. We departed. Just then I saw a small group of people and their Sifu peep over the hedge. They were there practicing some sort of exercise. I was saddened that it did not occur to them, or at least the master, to walk up and enquire about the state of the fallen man. 

In the opening scene of the movie "Unnal Mudiyum Thambi" a young lad murmurs within him the song Kandhar Sasti Kavasam as he passes by a blind lady trying to retrieve the banana that she had dropped. Watching this from afar a man approaches him and asks the boy what hymn was he chanting to himself and asked him why did it not occur to him to pick up the fruit and place it into the hands of the old lady. Of what good is devotion if we tend to close an eye on others' sufferings? To make matters worse, these days rather than save a life we reach for our smartphones and start recording and posting others' pain and suffering on social media.  

I wasn't an attention seeker since my young days. I did not have any ambitions or plans. I was neither a doer nor a follower but chose to keep to myself most of the time. Not only that, but I shied from the limelight. Furthermore, I preferred to work behind the stage. Likewise, I wasn't an activist or an orator. But somehow I seemed to be pushed to the front, coming under the stage lights. My schoolmates pushed me to start a cultural society in secondary school and had me take my place as President. So I ask myself who arranged for this post? Many years later, I was voted in as the head of the Parent Teachers Association in the school my daughter studied. So who arranged for this post too? Gaining entry into a college, I was awarded a scholarship that I thought had slipped off my hands. So who arranged for this scholarship? After accepting my first job, I had another tail behind me shortly. I chose to stick around with the first. I did actually stay and completed my 36-year career here. So who arranged for this job? Looking for a life partner, as many as fifteen Eves rejected my proposal for an arranged marriage. Someone I and my family knew long before eventually became my wife. So who arranged for this marriage then? I had no intention to buy a house back then in the nineties but the timely mention of a friend's intention and invitation extended to me to join him in purchasing one practically laid this home in my lap. So who arranged for this home that was to become AVM 22 years later?

I realized that if circumstances do not force one to either avoid or leave the path, one is purposely forced to take a break by the divine on this journey. As much reading of religious and spiritual books and discussions only brought more confusion during my bachelor days, I was told to take a break lest I turn cuckoo. Who arranged for me to take a break from worship that stretched for some 14 years? When a devotee asked me a couple of days ago how I spent the 14 years when I was asked to step out of it, I replied that I raised a family. He, too, was told to raise his family first. He could jump onto the bandwagon again when his wife gives the green light later. 

Coming to read the Nadi, Agathiyar had asked that I build him a temple. I was excited back then. But the excitement died down when temple committees turned down my request for a little, small space in their temple grounds. Then Agathiyar in a later reading tells me that I had desired it and shows me to Mr.Arumugam, who was building a Brindavan for saint Raghavendra. He also spoke to him in his Nadi reading asking for his consent that he gave readily. Agathiyar turned to me and gave me further instructions regarding his statue and told me he shall stay in my home until the Brindavan was completed. But Agathiyar switched his mind and decided to stay put instead when news of the completion of the building reached our ears. Seeing my first attempt to follow up on his request in the Nadi fail, he came into my home as a statue and turned it into a temple instead. Then Lord Murugan joined the bandwagon asking me in the Nadi to build a temple for him. He sends Agathiyar later to persuade me. I guess I must have stood the test of time, for eventually, he told me that he had tested me. Today after 13 years Agathiyar has moved to another devotee's home.  So who arranged for this sudden move?

All the puja and charity that he had us carry out came to a standstill just as the pandemic encroached on many nations and forced lockdowns brought cities to a standstill. Instead, he had us go within and still the body and mind.  So who arranged for this journey within? When I thought the 2 1/2 years during the pandemic phase had been unproductive, a devotee told me to look at it from a different perspective. He made me realize that I had dropped much during this forced period of solitude. Agathiyar had me dissolve the AVM family to have them find their own way, telling me to make the lone journey as the path could now only accommodate one at a time. Furthermore, he reminded me that my journey would be delayed if I was to wait for them to catch up with me. This reminded me of my travels with Tavayogi to the Siddha abodes and caves in the jungles. Never once did he turn around to check on me and see if I was keeping pace with him. So who arranged for me to withdraw from having a movement and a following?

I guess I must have stood the test of time, for now, he has me do nothing, pointing me to my mentor and guru and asking me if either Tavayogi did anything. While whiling away my time, I turn to good movies and music and write this blog, something that he has asked me to do. 

Recently in telling me that I cannot possibly sit doing nothing he sends new faces to my home and asks that I take them as my students, elevating me to the post of a guru. He says that I had desired the post which makes me wonder "When did I ask for it?"  So who arranged for this post? What is the end game here? 

Tavayogi very aptly wrote the following when I asked him to autograph his book, "Andamum Pindamum", "Aandavan Uraigindra Edam Thangal Ullam, Athuve Payanathin Thodakkamum, Mudivum" when translated meant, "God lives in your heart, from where the journey starts and ends too."

Looking back at this journey, the following koan comes to mind.

“Before one studies Zen, mountains are mountains and waters are waters; after a first glimpse into the truth of Zen, mountains are no longer mountains and waters are no longer waters; after enlightenment, mountains are once again mountains and waters once again waters.”

Swami Sivananda of Rishikesh used to worship the Ganges river, showing the flame and Aarati every evening. Swami Vishnudevananda writes on his first encounter with his master Swami Sivananda, in ‘My Years with the Master’ at http://www.sivanandaonline.org.

"Before leaving, I went down the Ganga where it was the custom of the Ashram to do Aarati (waving of lights) every evening. All the devotees and inmates of the Ashram assembled by the banks of the Ganga to watch Master perform this evening's worship. I was skeptical. I was of a scientific temperament and knew that a river is only water, H2O-imagine worshiping H20!! But as I stood there and watched Master waving the lights, I saw the river become a mass of flowing lights. At that instant, the river assumed a divine flow, a manifestation of the Grace of the Lord. Master turned and looked at me, and in my mind, I heard his message, “God pervades everything; this too is His Special Form.” This entirely changed my outlook on life."

When Tavayogi expressed his surprise that Agathiyar had come easily to us while he had to travel far and wide to know him, I still did not realize the existence and presence of the hidden hand. Only much later did I understand. For instance, the many remedies that Agathiyar gave in my Nadi erased some of my past karma. The blessing of Supramania Swami came my way and cleared the path further for me to start my spiritual journey. It was his 40 years tavam or years of austerities that he just gave away to me without a second thought that as in the game of Snake and Ladder lifted me up the ladder to a higher standing without much effort. I am indebted to him for life. When I came to him in 2003 seeking to have my second daughter's horoscope charted, least did I expect that he shall be my guru. I knew nothing of him then but accepted him blindly after he revealed my life and future instead of my daughter's during our first meeting. Later in 2005, I managed to learn more about him from his wife and son with him chipping in. After many years his daughter who had compiled about him sends me her writings. These revealed more about the person who made me eligible to receive God's grace. Agathiyar had me meet Supramania Swami first before I met Tavayogi in 2005 all for a reason. Even Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar backed off giving his blessings as I stood before him days before I was to meet Supramania Swami. 

The unseen hand has been working wonders in my life without any publicity, or looking for returns. Of what good is our devotion if we are blind to realize and acknowledge the existence of our gurus and their contribution towards our unfolding and eventual enlightenment?