AGATHIYAR JAYANTHI

The day has arrived. Today is a day of celebration for Agathiyar in numerous places both in Malaysia and India and other places I might not be aware of. We at AVM were introduced to Agathiyar's Jayanthi celebrations by Tavayogi who made it an annual celebration at his Kallar ashram. We followed suit at AVM following his advice. Later Agathiyar in the Nadi guided us often. Today Pothihai Tharma Chakkram or PTC, the new host to Agathiyar's statue that was formerly at AVM hosted the festivities. A homam and abhisegam were done for both Agathiyar and Lobhama. 

We were pleasantly surprised to see Lobhama accompany Agathiyar at PTC today. If some time back Agathiyar had told us that henceforth he shall come with Lobhama, I wondered how it was to be. Today seeing her as a bronze statue accompanying Agathiyar, I understood Agathiyar's message. The couple Sri Krishna and Sri Dewiy were drawn to Lobhama's statue at a sales outlet at the Temple of Fine Arts while dining at Annalakshmi. They immediately purchased the statue. They were truly surprised to hear me relate to them that Agathiyar had quipped that henceforth he shall come with Lobhama. Lobhama came through a devotee and guess what, wanted us to build a temple and house both Agathiyar and her. She asked that we fulfill Agathiyar's wish. It amazes us that just days back Agathiyar in a Nadi reading for Krishna had hinted that he had a big task lined up for him. When I called Senthil over the phone to catch up on the missing years since my first Nadi reading was read by him in 2002, he too said that Agathiyar was looking for several souls whom he could rope in to build his temple in Malaysia. It was Senthil too who had relayed Agathiyar's wish to see his temple built in Kallar in Tavayogi's Nadi. I guess Krishna and I have to consider and work towards it. There is no way we can ignore or dismiss or prolong their requests any further. If Agathiyar had asked for a temple in my first Nadi reading in 2002, and Lord Murugan came in another Nadi reading in 2018, asking for one too, and sent Agathiyar to convince me, Agathiyar later told me that they had tested me. Now Lobhama has asked for it on behalf of Agathiyar. But could this be a ploy to test us again? Or is this to fulfill a desire of us from the past just like Agathiyar sent a couple of devotees over telling me that I desired to be a guru. 

Meanwhile, several devotees of Agathiyar did Homam and puja in their homes while some visited Kallar ashram. They sent in photos.

Flag hoisting ceremony at Kallar ashram this morning

Homam in a devotee's home in Klang

Puja at another devotee's home in Chennai

Lighting the Yagam at Kallar Ashram later in the afternoon

Another devotee chose to sought the assistance of a Nadi reader to conduct the Homam. 

HUSH

In my travels with Tavayogi, he never made a fuss even when a miracle took place, and neither did he allow me to stay long enough to investigate. He brushed it off and we moved on to our next destination. If it was us, we would reach for our smartphones and start clicking. We would gather many and talk about it for days on end. We would post our experiences on social media and make videos of them. These experienced old souls were humble to the core while we being the excited new kids on the block that we are, are forever eager to show and tell and share every single moment of our lives with others. 

Reading Yogi Ramaiah's "Babaji Gita" I could see many similarities between these gurus. 

Ramaiah writes that "Yogananda was meditating on the terrace of the Serampore ashram with Yukteshwar doing his evening walk on the terrace. Suddenly Swami Yukteshwar stopped and beckoned Yogananda to go over to him immediately. Yogananda did not move. Instead, he replied that he was meditating. When eventually he walked up to his guru, Yukteshwar tapped his forehead which awakened his Kundalini Sakthi to experience Vijnana Samadhi. When he came back to the ordinary level of consciousness his guru Yukteshwar was there watching him, remarked "Get the broom. Let us sweep the floor." The guru was teaching him to be humble and not be carried over by the lofty experience. 

It reminds me of the miracle that Agathiyar promised me that he shall show at Agasthiyampalli in the Nadi reading. I was fortunate to be taken to this temple in 2005 by Tavayogi where Agathiyar performed the miracle of opening his left eye before me in this granite statue. 

On 23 September 2005, as we set on this awesome journey Tavayogi turned around to me and said, “Only now our actual journey begins,” with a big grin on his face and a twinkle in his eyes, as if he knew beforehand or could foresee whatever was to take place on our journey. It was the second leg of our tour. Chauffeured by Prem, we were headed for Agasthiyampalli, Pothigai, Courtalam, and Palani as instructed in my Nadi. Tavayogi was just as excited as I was too. He tells me it has been ten years since he went to Agasthiyampalli. 

We reached Agasthiyampalli, Vedaranyam at 10.30 am. A temple priest, who was sitting with two other locals at the entrance of the temple, on seeing us alight from the car, came forward to greet and usher us into the temple grounds. This unexpected gesture of his surprised us. He took us straight to Agathiyar’s temple which was on the left of the entrance and facing the main temple of Lord Shiva. The priest lighted the camphor and showed the flame (arati) to Agathiyar. Tavayogi and I then sat on the floor. Tavayogi began to sing the Siddha hymns and Potri as usual. The priest suddenly interrupted him. He asks that we circumambulate the temple first, giving instructions on how to do it the proper way. He insisted we pray at Lord Shiva’s shrine first as he was going away to another temple to conduct prayers. If my mind that was taught to think logically was asking, "It was almost noon and temples would be closed in the afternoons. So why was he in a hurry to go to another temple to conduct prayers", Tavayogi turned to me and said, "Let us oblige him." 

Tavayogi and I came round the temple grounds as the priest had instructed. We stepped into Lord Shiva’s shrine where the priest was waiting for us. He lighted the camphor again and showed the flame. He led us to the open ground and touched a spot telling us that that was the very spot where Agathiyar had pressed his thumb into the ground to balance the earth that had tilted due to the Devas, Gods, and Goddesses converging in the Himalayas for Lord Shiva-Goddess Parvathy’s wedding. Tavayogi and I came back to Agathiyar’s shrine. Tavayogi picked up singing the hymns from where he had left. Since Agathiyar had promised to open his eyes and see me at Agasthiyampalli in the Nadi reading, I began observing him. He was carved in granite with both eyes shut. His image had been worn down, missing all the details, due to years of conducting libation or Abhisegam on him. 

As Tavayogi ended his prayer with a couple of hymns, I continued with the Potri hymns as usual. As I started reciting the Pranavam - AUM, at Agathiyar’s shrine, I could hear and feel the Pranavam reverberate, and bounce off the granite walls. I felt a cool breeze sweep over me even as I was sweating away at the shrine. As I uttered the last line of the Potri hymn, Aum Maa Siddhargale Potri, I broke down in tears. I cried and cried. Sadly, he did not open his eyes even after all the praise to him. Agathiyar had yet to look at me. I begged Agathiyar to open his eyes and see me. However, he did not respond. I shut my eyes as I wept continuously. After some time, I opened my eyes. Tavayogi who was earlier seated opposite me was not there anymore. I turned towards the entrance. He had moved to the open air and was standing there observing from the outside.

As I joined Tavayogi where he was standing, just like Yukteswar ushered Yogananda, he ushered me to his side and whispered to me, “Agathiyar had opened his eyes twice. There is the aroma of sandalwood in the air too”. He asked that I stand at the same spot he had stood. “Concentrate now. Look at the Siddha’s eyes,” he said. I peered at the granite statue of Agathiyar but I could hardly make out his face much less see him open and close his eyes. The shrine was dark. I could sense Tavayogi’s disappointment that I could not see Agathiyar open his eyes. This I knew from the tone of his voice when he consoled me, “Never mind, son. Let’s snap some photographs, shall we?” 

Agathiyar too in coming through a devotee tried to initiate something similar, the details of which I am not at liberty to share openly or disclose nor reveal as he had asked that it be kept within the four walls of our prayer room. Though he did try numerous times to show us out of love for us, both my wife and I failed to see. I guess we had not reached the state that Agathiyar aspired for us. 

Yogi Ramaiah narrates a similar incident. When Yukteshwar went to Kasi to see Lahiri Mahasaya, he "pointed to the bright sunlight near his room and remarked look but Yukteshwar could not see anything special. Lahiri Mahasaya tapped his forehead pulled up his kundalini shakti and saw in the bright sunlight the immortal Paramaguru Babaji."  Ramaiah writes that unless the Kundalini Sakti is raised to the level of the 6th Anjana chakram one could not see the Siddha Kriya Babaji Nagaraj." 

Tavayogi too would look towards the skies and point out to me that the Siddhas were ushering and showering us with flower petals. I would look up into the sky and look back at him with bewildered eyes, yet I choose to believe and we moved on.

I entered Agathiyar’s shrine again and was about to sit at the same spot when Tavayogi motioned me to sit with Agathiyar in the inner sanctum. “Go in and sit at Agathiyar’s feet in the inner sanctum. He is our father. Who dares object?” That is when Tavayogi throws his shawl over to me asking me to lay it on the floor to sit on as the floor had oil spills and grime. 

Swami Muktananda in his KUNDALINI - THE SECRET OF LIFE, Siddha Yoga Publication, 1994, (Muktananda, Kundalini - The Secret of Life, 1994) describes a true guru as follows,

“The Guru is the grace bestowing power of God. The entire body of such a Guru has become permeated with Sakti. In fact, the Guru becomes the embodiment of Sakti to such an extent that the hat he wears, his clothes, and the mat on which he sits become permeated with it, and just by touching them, a disciple can receive Sakti.”

Often Jeganatha Swamigal used to be seen in a loincloth and people made fun of him calling him a lunatic. At other times he dressed in white like Ramalinga Adigal. It is said that he never took a bath but there was always a sweet aroma emitting from him. It is said that Jeganatha Swamigal in passing to one Gurusamy Pillai his loincloth told him that he would not know the auspiciousness of that piece of cloth then but asked that he keep it with him. 

As I laid his shawl and sat, I glanced at Agathiyar’s face and what do I see? The Siddha is observing me with an eye open. I looked hard in disbelief. I was sure they were engraved “closed” as I entered his shrine this morning. I was overcome with joy seeing Agathiyar look at me and I called out to Tavayogi, “Swami…” Even before I could complete my sentence, Tavayogi understood and told me, “Right! He has seen you, has he, come! They will show (themselves) you only for a moment.” Tavayogi hurried me from the spot. Even as I came out from his shrine, the Siddha was looking at me with one eye open, grinning away.

Agathiyar decided to perform the same feat and miracle that he did at Agasthiyampalli shortly after at his shrine at Papanasam. This time he opened both his eyes and saw us. Again Tavayogi herded me and this time my brother too who had joined us at Trichy out of the temple grounds. 

As we alighted from the ambassador at the entrance to Breehadeshwarar temple, a peddler approached Tavayogi and asked how is it he (Tavayogi) was there at Breehadeshwarar temple again? He mentioned that Tavayogi was there the day before too. Tavayogi turned around to me and gave me a puzzled look. How could Tavayogi be there when he was traveling with me? He made no fuss about it. 

While at Konganar's cave at Uthiyur, Kangayam, an old man who followed us from Kallar, and I was blessed to receive the sacred ash or vibhuti that appeared mysteriously. After entering the cave, as usual, we each picked a spot on the ground and started chanting the Siddhas' names. As I was not proficient in chanting the Siddha names then, and as I could not keep up with the speed the old man was chanting the names, I chose to just close my eyes and listen. Upon opening my eyes I saw Tavayogi holding out the sacred ash or vibhuti in his hand. He applied it on my forehead and the old man too. He gave me some to take back. As we were about to leave the cave, I asked Tavayogi why he left behind the rest of the vibhuthi. Only then did he realize there was vibhuti on a piece of newspaper. He turned to me and asked whether I had brought the sacred ash. I shook my head, "No". He asked the old man. He too replied he had not brought any along. Tavayogi gave a puzzled look and told us to let it be (the ash). He made no fuss about it. 

As we stood in line for the gates to Lord Murugan's chambers at Palani to be opened for the day I felt elated that I was seeing Lord Muruga again after 2003, accompanied by my guru Tavayogi this time. As the senior priest began explaining to Tavayogi and my brother the origin of the temple, I walked across the room to the exit door and sat down again. Again a young priest was in attendance. As we stepped out of the chambers into the corridor the young priest reappeared in the corridor. Again he had a tumbler in his hands. He passed it to Tavayogi who was in front. Tavayogi took a gulp and passed the tumbler to my brother who was behind him. He took a gulp too and passed it to me. I emptied the milk down my throat and passed the tumbler back to the priest with a nod of thanks. I hurried behind Tavayogi and my brother who had already moved out into the open. That is when it happened again. I was in a state of bliss exactly as I had experienced on my first trip. I began to lag behind as Tavayogi and my brother walked ahead having a conversation. Suddenly Tavayogi stopped and looked at me asking, "What Son?" I was literally walking on air! That moment I knew that he knew! He knew what was happening. There was a sparkle in his eyes as he turned towards me and asked the question with a grin. I just walked right up to him and laid my head on his chest. After a moment he turned around and continued walking. 

I guess these gurus have seen much in their lifetimes and as such witnessing or performing miracles are very much part of their daily lives. 

Returning from my pilgrimage to India, Agathiyar in a reading on 20 December 2005, mentions the reason he hurried me to leave for India a month after Tavayogi's departure and the numerous Siddha spots, samadhis, and caves, he brought me to. He confirms how he appeared at Papanasam, Courtallam, and Agathiyampalli. Just as he had performed miracles in India, Agathiyar promised to perform the same in Malaysia. And he kept his word till this very day.

FINDING A SOLUTION

In the opening of the film "Return to Eden," we come across the following quote. 

"In a time where emotions overrule reasons and battle among opinions reign supreme, I find hope in the words of biologist Bill Mollison once said, "Though the problems of the world are increasingly complex the solutions remain embarrassingly simple." 

Life is indeed simple conforming to certain natural rules and laws, morals and virtues, but we have decided and are determined to change them. We have brought knowingly or unknowingly misery and suffering, problems and troubles in our daily lives.

I had a call from a devotee and friend today. He had formed a company with a new partner in the aftermath of the pandemic, thinking that he could help the other through tough times though his business too was significantly affected. But his compassion was rewarded with heartache and pain. Talking to me I took the cue from my guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai. When I was with him on my second visit a lady came into his kudil or residence accompanied by her uncle. She narrated to Swami that she was suffering at the hands of her husband. Thinking that Swami would encourage her to hold on and wait for good times to come by or wait for her husband to change a new leaf, I was surprised to hear him tell her to let him go. The moment she heard him say this she burst laughing and walked away in bliss. Swami had released her pent-up agony that day. 

Similarly, I told him to let go of the partnership for he had nothing to lose as he was pretty well established in that field and had made a name for himself. Seeing him repeat and go into the details that were of no use to me I told him how I had brought a parent of my daughter's classmate to see Tavayogi when he was in town. Having heard him tell me how misery and suffering have unfolded in his life, I thought he would gain some insight talking to Tavayogi. But for the whole hour that we spent with Tavayogi, he kept rattling away about his problems, never once giving space to Tavayogi to speak or suggest a solution. Both his wife and son began to shake their heads. I was fuming. I got up and thanked Tavayogi for his time and bid farewell to him. I removed him from the spot too. 

My friend also told me that he had had the blessing of his guru and Agathiyar before forming the partnership. I reminded him that the gurus and Siddhas shall always grant their blessings for that is what we want. But since it was a desire of ours we have to be prepared to reap the fruits too. Saying this, I ended the telephone conversation with my friend today telling him that when he is confused no amount of advice or solution would register in him, taking the cue now from Agathiyar who refused to speak further in the Nadi for a devotee since she was in a confused and disturbed state of mind. I ended the conversation abruptly. He later messaged me a thank you note.

Agathiyar says confusion is a result of karma too. The Siddhas and Tavayogi have often spoken about the need to have clarity in our thoughts. But more often than not we become victims to situations and happenings around us that jeopardise our thinking.

In seeking advice from someone, it is sufficient to tell them briefly about our ordeal and wait for them as a third party or arbitrator to place their views and provide solutions if there are any. This is the reason we have temples and we have statues of Gods residing in them. This is the place to cry our hearts out just as the church provides a space for us to confess and unload our baggage of troubles. But sadly we seem to only raise our hands and place before God more of our wants and desires and ask that he grants them. Eventually, we end up having to meet counselors and psychiatrists. Let us begin to talk with God. Though he would not answer back be assured that he hears you. One fine day he would surprise us with a solution that might be right before our eyes, or that comes our way or arises from within us or we see our problems dissolve into thin air having us question if they ever existed in the very first place. 

As Bill Mollison says, the solutions might be embarrassingly simple.

The reason I am sharing all these is that readers have voiced their surprise saying how they have had solutions and came across them while reading this blog. 

• "Ur blog post always hv message for me aiya."
• Got yet one more answer without asking
• Oh thanks a lot lot lot. I needed this
• Oh aiyya. I think agathiyar prompt me to ask some questions . So that we get such wonderful posts from you

BACK BEING A MOUNTAIN

Contrary to common belief the guru-disciple relationship is two ways. The truly humble guru will listen to his students. Though one is a guru in one area there are many things that he could not possibly be aware of. If I had sat quietly and listened to Supramania Swami for some five hours on my first visit to his village of Nachananthal some 8 kilometers from the township of Tiruvannamalai in 2003, I was surprised that he wanted to know about Agathiyar and the Nadi from me when I sat with him again in 2005, now at his new kudil adjacent to his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar's ashram and samadhi. My reason for being surprised was that on our first meet, he had revealed many things said by Agathiyar in my Nadi without me uttering even a word or mentioning that I had read the Nadi before coming over to India to fulfill my remedies. On my second visit he was very keen to know after I told him that I had seen my Nadi and Agathiyar had asked that I stay several days at Tavayogi's ashram in Kallar. He asked if he could have a reading done which astonished me. He started packing a blanket for my use in the cool hills of Ooty the next day. He further astonished me when he asked me to convey my regards to Tavayogi. Upon returning to bid farewell to him after visiting and traveling with Tavayogi, Supramania Swami surprised me again asking if Tavayogi was well. One cannot possibly a guru of his nature in this age where gurus are known to forbid their students to go elsewhere and tie them down. I came to know of a guru and an organization that did just that to their devotees. If some gurus had their students remain forever a student serving them and their needs, my gurus did not expect anything from me. Neither did they hold me captive. They returned my respect for them with their grace and love. Supramania Swami surprised me further by passing on the merits gained from his life's work of observing austerities or Tavam. I am deeply grateful to him for it is this gift of his that has made my journey walking the path of the Siddhas much easier. This was acknowledged by Tavayogi who voiced his surprise at seeing me arrive easily without any difficulty whatsoever, telling me that he had to journey far and stay in the jungles and caves and endure hunger and sufferings before he could reach Agathiyar. 

Even the greatest guru who carries numerous honorary titles before his name shall be called by his name in any government department unless he has changed his name in all his records. In the event of danger, one shall utter Agatheesa or Muruga and not the titles before their names. It would be a moment too late for them to arrive to save us. Let us carry the respect and love in our hearts without the need to openly show it for then it would appear to become a ritual and a must to others who follow behind. Tavayogi told us once that since his sandals had snapped he placed them to the side of the steps to Palani temple and silently thanked them for having served him all those years by bringing his palms together in prayer. As soon as he turned to look back to his surprise he saw everyone passing by pray to his sandals. My colleague was equally jolted when he saw every devotee who sat at Bhogar's samadhi that day knock on the floor. Since meditation did not come to him easily, he had earlier spent his time knocking the tiles on the floor where he sat to see if they had done a solid job or whether it was hollow beneath. It became a practice and ritual almost immediately. He had started a ritual and a following. I was knocked off seeing how easy it was to start a practice or ritual or have a following. 

Seeing movements split up due to friction within, differences of opinions, personal problems, misconduct of individuals, misappropriation of funds, and above all egoism on the part of its leaders, and seeing how difficult it was to manage and run one from lack of experience in the field to try and sustain these establishments with the meager funds that slipped in, I stayed away from forming one though all the ingredients were there and it just needed a nod. I think I acted wisely for Agathiyar soon had me close shop and go my way. The mountain is back to being a mountain again. 

I had stayed away from starting anything for another reason that would be reckoned as a desire, my desire. But he chose to send devotees over to participate in my home puja. If I had knocked the rough edges off and streamlined our home puja, the deities, and Siddhas came and minimized the time spent on puja further to allocate more time for them to be with us and address us. I await eagerly to join in the celebrations for him that he had instructed the new host of his bronze statue to carry out in view of his Jayanthi tomorrow. We look forward to his divine play and the teaching that comes along with it.

RETURNING HOME

Rupert Spira in "Awakening Mind - Part 1 - Know Thyself" says that "One becomes awakened by recognizing that what we essentially are, is already fully awake, fully aware, complete, whole, fulfilled, and at peace."

Neale Donald Walsch says the same. "It is not something that the person initiates. It is something that the person recognizes. That is to know again. What we have known from the beginning but is simply forgotten, denied, or failed to believe so we cannot initiate closeness to God."

Just as the speakers mention, the Siddhas tell us that we are light in essence having come from the light. But as we are covered in layers, curtains, veils, or sheaths upon sheaths, and the gross and course that seems real, the true journey is in withdrawing and going within removing, tearing down or drawing back each of these sheets that prevent us from seeing our true nature. Coming to this awareness is knowing the soul or Atma and being one with it.

To know the soul that resides within and in us or rather that is truly "us" minus the ego and all the tags we have given us, the Siddhas had us travel and journey looking out and searching for our true selves out there initially. It was to exhaust the baggage of karma that we had brought with us through performing pilgrimages, carrying out puja and rituals, carrying out remedies, and doing charity. Then they turned our attention to the self and our body. They made us practice Yoga, Pranayama, and Asanas. They placed us under the tutorship of gurus in physical form to guide and monitor us. Soon they began to work on us subtly bringing on subtle transformations that they came by later to reveal, highlight, and confirm. It was then time to drop all efforts and stand witness to what was taking place in and around us. 

I cannot bring myself to even carry out the Homam these days. Though Agathiyar had asked that we end all rituals but also added that we could take up the tool if and when needed, thinking that I should join others whom I had asked in carrying out the Homam to help Prapanjam heal the earth and its beings, I sat to carry it out. During the first few days as my grandchildren were with us and the second grandchild getting out of bed would ask and come around asking as many as three times a day to carry it out, I sat with them and guided them in building a small fire and placing our offerings. As days went by I could not bring myself to do it, no matter how much I wanted. Neither could I continue to recite the Mrityunjaya and Dhanvantri mantras or any other songs of praise for that matter. It was as if I had done enough of the rituals. When the energies were awakened in me as a result of the Pranayama and Asana practices given by Tavayogi in 2007, asking Agathiyar if there were any further practices that I should do, he told me that there were none. The energies would do their work. I left it at that. I guess the path is one of no return. Agathiyar in bringing a halt to puja and charity told me to go ahead and not wait for others as one: the path would only allow one at a time, and two: if I waited for others to catch up it would delay my journey. As it is, I am already late in catching the bus as I am 64 now. Agathiyar and Tavayogi told me that one should achieve it before 58 and 60 respectively. 

But exceptions are made as with Tavayogi. Agathiyar had him revisit the path for the sake of others for when I asked him why, after urging us to come to the path of Gnana, he was stepping back into Bakthi building a temple, he replied it was for others. Supramania Swami who cherished a 40-year-old wish to build a temple was asked the same. He saw his desire torn up to shreds when a stranger turned up at his door and asked why he was stepping back into Bakthi.

I had left behind Sariyai and stopped visiting temples and places of worship and meeting holy men long ago. After meeting my gurus in physical form, Tavayogi had me drop my attachments on things dear and close to me while Supramania Swami brought me to accept men turned gurus and God. Agathiyar had me dissolve the AVM group that he initiated by sending our youths which had grown in number after their Nadi reading. It was time I let go and move on or rather within. Today I spend time in his thoughts and his company, penning this blog and spreading his praise in what little way I can sitting in the confines of my home, nay his home, as ordained.

DESIRES

Many come to Agathiyar for his blessings be it to solemnize a relationship with a particular person of their choice or to start a business venture that they have entered into. Agathiyar or for that matter, any guru would give their blessings. Someone even had the business contract made out and signed before coming over and placing it at his feet. Similarly is it when they seek his approval in his Nadi. As they come with the desire for a positive answer the reading tends to favor their desires. But when things go wrong they tend to question why the relationship turned sour or their business failed as Agathiyar had blessed them. If in the former the partnership turned sour in the abovementioned devotee. She had lived out her karma, exhausted the desire, had the experience, and learned a lesson by burning her fingers, in the latter he had his shipment sent overseas frozen that wrapped up his new venture. They fail to understand that we already had the said desire arise in us before we came for their blessings. The desire has to be lived out. They shall have to learn from the experiences that come along with acting out these desires. God and the Siddhas do not interfere. We are well equipped to journey on our own on this earth. Though there is no need for them to come into the picture unless called for, they answer the calls of the man who does not desire a thing a life. To others who live in their own world, ignorant of his existence, if and when he needs them for his purposes he comes a calling on them ringing their doorbell. 

It is only in doing his work that there is no desire attached. Neither does it earn karma. All other work is bound to step on another's feet or infiltrate another's airspace and bring on karma be it good or bad. This is the reason Saint Arunagiri of Tiruvannamalai who is said to sought the pleasures of the flesh was saved as he jumped from the temple towers by Lord Murugan and kept in solitude for some 12 years before he was tasked to spread the word of the Lord. As he had suffered and worked out his karma that came as the dreaded leprosy, the divine killed his desires further and made sure that no new ones arose keeping him away from actively participating in society. 

It is desires, that fuel our journey here, feeding on the given count of breath that we brought with us. Once we exhaust this count of breath we have to leave this shed, though the doctors might intervene and extend a few hours or days of life by giving us medical attention. 

A piece from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1124925/ mentions, 

"In a hospital setting, where the culture is often focused on “cure,” continuation of invasive procedures, investigations, and treatments may be pursued at the expense of the comfort of the patient. There is sometimes a reluctance to make the diagnosis of dying if any hope of improvement exists and even more so if no definitive diagnosis has been made. When recovery is uncertain it is better to discuss this rather than giving false hope to the patient and family. This is generally perceived as a strength in the doctor-patient relationship and helps to build trust."

The hospital did not want to be invasive and carry on any procedure on my late mother seeing that she was 96 years of age. Even when I used to bring her for her medical checkup on one such particular occasion when I asked the doctor if we should carry out some test, he told me the following. "Fine. We shall have her go through several tests. But in the event we find something wrong with her are you willing to have her go through further tests and procedures deemed necessary? Do you think her fragile body would take it?" He asks that I let her be as long as she never complained. It was only many years later in 2022 that she complained and was brought to the hospital where she passed away peacefully telling each one of us that she wanted to sleep. Agathiyar came and told us to let her go as another birth was already waiting for her.

THE PATH

In trying to piece together and gain some understanding of life and the lessons gained from the experiences that came my way, I am amazed at the wonder of the Siddhas. I believe they were there from day one for how would I have arrived at their door today without their consent. It was not me who searched for a path but a calling on their part. This must only mean that our relationship went back to days before I was even born. It was no accident nor can I say that I found the path. The path was there waiting for me to take a plunge. If I had been sidetracked I wonder if I would have arrived there. 

Seeing that I was turning cuckoo trying to figure out and understand why people around me were suffering they had me take leave of my daily puja and reading in my bachelor days in the eighties and hibernate for some good 14 years. Though I had stopped reading too besides home puja and temple visits, there was one book that was delivered to me in 1994 that I had to read to take on a journey of a different kind. It was Paramahansa Yogananda's autobiography. It opened up a whole new world, that of the gurus, god coming as men.  

They sent a soul that seemingly had requested for my wife and me to be together again in another birth with the arrival of my second daughter in 1998. She is said to be the reason I came to the path too. We are said to have been together in a former birth.

Then in preparing me to come to know the reasons for one's suffering through my first Nadi reading, they had my nephew deliver a message from them that came through his Paramaguru Gopal Pillai coming through a devotee a year earlier.

When the time was right and ripe for me to gain an understanding I was called for a Nadi reading in 2002, where I got my answers and clarity. 

Taking up the calling to come to the worship of the Siddhas, and walking the path of Guru Bhakti with Supramania Swami and the path of the Siddhas with Tavayogi, I had two lineages of gurus behind me namely Jayaram Pillai, Satananda Swami, Pundi Mahaan, Kollimalai Swami and Yogi Ramsuratkumar and on the other hand, Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, Jeganatha Swamigal and Chitramuthu Adigal. Giving me the tools, methods, and practice and guiding me through their Nadi, they had me work to gain the experiences and learn for myself, rather than handing down scriptures and bookish knowledge and their account of experiences.

Today when I had toiled the fields they had me drop the tools and take a rest in the shade of the Siddha family tree while waiting for the crop to ripen and harvest. 

LOVE THAT BINDS US

In "Awakening Mind - Part 1 - Know Thyself" we are made to understand life as "all about the need to strip away the illusion to arrive exactly where we are in the now." How wonderful.

Neale Donald Walsch who authored the series of books, "Conversation with God" comes before the camera and speaks about all those lovely things we have read on the conversations with God all this while. 

"The experience of my spiritual self was only possible in the realm of the physical for a very good reason. Because only in the realm of the physical was the opposite available. In other words, just use a simple example, if I wanted to experience myself, if I could speak metaphorically as the light, I couldn't experience being the light, if I was amidst the light, nothing else around me but the light, which is a perfect definition of the realm of the spiritual. So I would come to a realm which I call the realm of the physical where there is something other than the light, because if I wanted to experience myself as the light, not just know myself as that but experience it, I could only do that where there was the opposite of the light, in this case, the darkness. So I brought his opportunity to the physical realm where the light and the dark exist simultaneously and then in that outward expression of myself as the light I could be who I really am."

Rupert Spira says "And this understanding suggests that behind our differences we are all the same being, not a similar being but we are all literally one the same being, and love is the felt experience of this oneness or shared being." 

I can understand now the extreme outpouring of love that came within Ramalinga Adigal each time he came through a devotee. He would either call us all over to him or come to each one of us and hug us tightly calling out to Arutperunjothi to bless us all and to Prapanjam to come within us. 

The lyricist of the song, "Manamenum Maya Unjal" has rightly penned the words extending a prayer and a hope that if only love could unite all of us, what a wonderful world it would be." Though it portrays the love between two souls we have come to learn to see it from a wider perspective and with a touch of divinity in it. 

WORKING WITH THE FORCES

As throughout my career, I worked with the military circle, and with all three forces, I adopted some good values, especially in observing discipline and keeping time. This has helped me in my private life too. It helped me greatly as I took my first step into the Siddha path too. I diligently followed all that Agathiyar laid out in the Nadi, adopting the practices, and doing it on time and at the specified times and the number of times. I guess this was the secret to success for Agathiyar later told us that any task started at the given time shall ensure success. I have seen many delay it, withhold from doing it seeking further explanation and clarification first, doubt it, or go investigating the source rather than get on it. One should learn to jump into it immediately just as the commandos do on command. I took the words of the Siddhas in the Nadi as a command and strictly followed them. I saw results in good time. Doubt and suspicion tend to derail the train. I guess these are what Patanjali says we have to remove before taking another step in Yoga. But these weaknesses are themselves a product of karma says Agathiyar. They come in the way of us wanting to begin a new life in their path. Hence they sent us off to numerous temples and places to work on our karma first and gain some belief and faith seeing the devotion of others, shedding a major portion of the karma in making our way to these places in the first place and finally ridding the remaining karma in carrying out the rituals. 

Sogyal Rinpoche in his book "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying", HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, shares the story of Asanga, a famous Indian Buddhist saint, who lived in the fourth century, that puts us to shame on our lack of dedication to the cause. Retreating into the mountains to meditate in the hope of having a vision of Buddha Maitreya and receiving his teachings, Asanga was saddened and disheartened that he did not get even a glimpse of Maitreya in even his dream, the vision he aspired for, having put in some six years of meditation in the harshest of conditions. He thought that he would never succeed in his dream to have the vision of the Buddha and learn from him, hence he left his hermitage abandoning the noble venture. He had not gone far down the road when he saw a man rubbing an enormous iron bar with a strip of silk cloth. Asanga asked him what he was doing to which he received the reply, "I haven't got a needle, so I am going to make one out of this iron bar." Asanga was stunned and told himself "Look at the trouble people give themselves over totally absurd things. You are doing a really valuable spiritual practice and you're not nearly so dedicated." He turned around and went back to his retreat to continue his meditation.

Another three years went by and there was no positive sign that he would have a vision of the Buddha. He told himself, "Now I know for certain I am never going to succeed" and so he left his practice again. Coming down the road, at the foot of a huge rock stood a man busily rubbing the rock with a feather soaked in water. When questioned about his action, the man replied that the rock was stopping the sun from shining onto his home thus he was getting rid of the rock. Asanga could only revel at the faith and indefatigable energy he carried in him, and ashamed at his own lack of dedication he returned back to his retreat.

Three more years passed by and still, he had not even had a single good dream. He told himself that it was utterly useless and hopeless for him to pursue further, and left again. This time he came across a dog lying in the path of the villagers, snarling at all those who passed by, ready to sink its teeth into them although it had only its front legs and the hind legs were rotting away. Compassion came over Asanga. He cut a piece of flesh from his body and fed the dog. He knelt beside the dog, closed his eyes, and began to stick his tongue out to remove the maggots that had infested its flesh. But his tongue touched the ground. Opening his eyes he saw no dog. In its place was the Buddha Maitreya, envelope in a shimmering aura of light. Asanga asked him why he did not appear earlier.

Maitreya replied, "It is not true that I never appeared to you before. I was with you all the time, but your negative karma and obscurations prevented you from seeing me. Your twelve years of practice dissolved them slightly so that you were at last able to see the dog. Thanks to your compassion all the obscurations were completely swept away and you can see me before you with your very own eyes. If you do not believe that this is what happened put me on your shoulders and try and see if anyone else can see me."

Asanga put Maitreya on over his shoulder and went to the marketplace. He began to ask the people there what was it that he carried on his shoulders. None saw Maitreya seated on his shoulder. Surprisingly one woman told him that he was carrying the rotting corpse of a dog on his shoulder. Maitreya told him her karma was slightly purified hence she was the only one able to see the dog. No one saw the Buddha Maitreya.

Sogyal Rinpoche writes that finally, it dawned on Asanga that "the power of compassion had purified and transformed his karma and so made him a vessel fit to receive the vision and instruction of Buddha Maitreya.  Maitreya took him to heaven and gave him further teachings.

We understand now why Agathiyar at the onset had us face our karma and deal with it first before having us worship the Siddhas who then helped us shed some more of the karma through performing the rituals, and had us engage in doing charity that brought on compassion towards others and removed more of the karma and finally in showering their grace removed the last remaining remnants of karma. As karma brings on confusion, doubts, and ignorance, it has to be buried for good. Even the good merits one does have to come to a stop once a balance is achieved. I guess this is the balance that Agathiyar brought about in his journey south that is spoken of often. If it is said that he had brought a balance to the earth that had tilted in the absence of the Gods who had all gathered in the north for Lord Shiva's and Goddess Parvathy's matrimony, I guess evil reigned in the south, bad and false practices replaced the good, and the good were at the mercy of the bad, etc. Agathiyar came to rid them and restore order in society and its people. He had them adopt the Siddha way that saw all three dosas coming to a balance hence assuring good health. He showed them that a balance between work and family and spiritual endeavors was possible. He showed them that coexisting with one another and all of creation was possible too. Having set the world in order, he retired to meditate further. 

If we cannot allocate some time to the regimes stated by the Siddhas and do not diligently adhere to the disciplines how can we expect to travel the path much less begin the journey? This is the reason very few make it though they claim to follow the Siddha teachings and their path. I could allocate time for the fire ritual or Homam and Abhisegam that Tavayogi and Agathiyar initiated respectively. Tavayogi came by to polish the procedures on his later visit. I could allocate my morning and evening hours of each day to waking up at dawn back then as a bachelor, and carrying out Puja, Pranayama, and Asana practices picked from books first and with Tavayogi arriving later and teaching them officially. These practices were further polished by taking classes from Acharya Gurudasan of Salem who had a short working stint in Malaysia then. 

If we can allow ourselves to become slaves to work should not we regain back some freedom to do our own stuff. And so my daughter who left her house at daybreak only to return after dark and hardly had some quality time with her children decided to leave her job and take care of her family. Many ask me what I was doing after retirement. I questioned them whether they knew the meaning of the word retirement. Oxford Languages defines it as "the action or fact of leaving one's job and ceasing to work". It also mentions seclusion. When I opted for early retirement at the age of 56, Agathiyar gave me the green light in the Nadi. I guess he was delighted that now I could spend more time doing his work. It was the period when AVM was at its height receiving visitors and devotees, carrying out charity, and performing puja. 

We have to learn to take hold of our lives and decide what we want to make of them rather than being sheep following others into the pen. We have to live a purposeful life. If we are lost for a purpose, that is when we are easily guided into doing things that could eventually endanger our lives. I guess this is the Vairagya in the charts that is said to steer us on course and keep us from deviating and losing sight of the port of call. It is said that to succeed on the spiritual path we need Vairagya or determination. JN Bhasin studied the birth charts of prominent people including saints and wrote about the expressed need to have Vairagya in one's charts in his book "Events and Nativities Explained", Sagar Publications, 1974. Ramakrishna Paramhansa had all the signs that pointed to or denoted a high type of Vairagya in the mind. It was written that he would attain sainthood and rise to great spiritual heights. Arvind Ghosh or Aurobindo Ghosh too took to a saintly life as it was in the chart showing a mind full of Vairagya. Swami Yogananda too had all the right ingredients for Sanyas. Buddhists have a practice of identifying potential souls and past gurus taking rebirth and working on these children from a very young age leading them along so that the soul can continue its work and not become deviated from its mission. This is where the Siddha's Nadi revelation can come in handy identifying our path for us on the onset itself, and Agathiyar's First Tenet to mankind, reminding us of our purpose and mission and taking up a life that was attuned to the desires and wishes of the divine as charted in the stars and horoscope. 

A QUICK UPDATE

The breath or Uyir is the one uniting factor in all of us. If we are all from the one prime soul or Param or Paramatma but have taken up individualized compartments known as bodies and remain as the Jeeva or Jeevatma in each cubicle, the breath travels in all of us. We take our share of it or count what was allocated or rather we earned and once we exhaust it we return to dust. If generally, we transform from an infant to a toddler to a child and a teen and later an adult and age graciously, the Siddhas though knew the trick or rather method to reverse the transformation. They transformed the very inner core of their cells and dispersed themselves not into dust but energy. This energy prevails in us and all around us.

Since Agathiyar asks that I share the transformations taking place in me, I am humbled by their grace in witnessing a slow reversal of the aging process. I seem to have grown black hair in places where it was once white. The breath that expanded in doing the Pranayama techniques shown by Tavayogi in 2007 to the extent that the body felt like the river bursting its banks, then became tame and silent and without any effort it took in the same volume of air as when practicing the techniques. After the outburst of the dormant energies and their travel towards higher regions, it seems the airflow has reversed.  Besides filling the lungs, it journeys through the nostrils into the regions of the head and the brain, where I tend to feel the throbbing in the left and right brain just as the breath occupies the left and right lungs. Occasionally the three dosas go haywire and bring on short moments of bearable pain in certain parts of the body as in the testicles, groins, hips, back, shoulder, upper arms, and in the region surrounding the eyes and even the gums of my teeth. There is tightness and numbness in several parts of my body as Agathiyar had indicated that I shall have to go through. As my medical report struck of any impending danger, I believed too that it was the work of the energies as Agathiyar assured me and relieved my fear, telling me there was no need for any more practices as the energies would do their work. I have a huge appetite and am getting hungry often too.

After Ramalinga Adigal helped us establish contact directly with the Prapanjam, it is truly amazing just to be here and existing. Existence itself is bliss these days. I do not know how to describe it further. I only have to thank the Siddhas for helping me gain some ground in this territory of theirs providing a neat space to occupy after traveling the 21 years on their path under their guidance that came through their Nadi readings, the guidance of my gurus in physical forms, their guidance coming through devotees now in the absence of the Nadi readings and my gurus in physical form and their divine hand in all things right till carrying out the very basic daily chores. 

LEARNING TO LET GO

I am amazed at the role of the divine in having us engage with people who tend to show us the way back home to him. My parents Avadaiyappa and Valliammai showed us to God in paintings and statues having us join them in prayers both at home and in the temples. Later I continued the legacy praying in my bachelor home in the eighties. I got to hear about the Siddhas sometime in the late nineties when I was frequenting Dr. Krishnan for my astrological readings. Later in 2002, my colleague Muralitharan Saminathan spoke about his experience reading the Nadi two years back. I received my first painting of Agathiyar after my very first Nadi reading in 2002 from Sivabalan who brought in Nadi reader Senthilkumar from Avinashi in India.

Later I passed on this painting to my in-laws and worshipped another.

Meeting Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal in 2005 and following him back to India a month after his departure, I was brought to Agasthiyampalli. 

Then in 2009, learning that Agathiyar had me commission his bronze statue to be made at Swamimalai in the Nadi reading in the image of his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli my nephew who visited Agasthiyampalli handed me a photo of Agathiyar residing there. I began worshiping this photo.

Agathiyar arrived at my home on 2 January 2010 a day before his Annual Jayanthi celebrations. 

Later that year when my nephew visited Kallar ashram he sent me photos of the 6 feet tall fibre statue of Agathiyar whom Tavayogi had installed.

In 2013 when I visited Kallar with my family, Tavayogi handed me a pair of wooden sandals and the staff or Vaasikol to be worshipped.

Over time many of these precious items of worship were given away to other devotees visiting AVM by Agathiyar telling them that he shall enter their homes henceforth. Finally, Agathiyar who initially asked that his statue be made and installed at the Sri Raghavendra Mritiga Brindavanam in Ipoh but instead chose to stay put at AVM even after the Brindavanam was completed, asked to take leave and left for Krishna's home. Agathiyar has asked that he carry out his Jayanthi celebration this Saturday. Though his statue has left AVM, he told me he was with us at AVM.

NON ATTACHMENT

If one patronizes a spiritual movement and is comfortable going over and participating in its events he would never become a spiritual head or leader. Neither will the existing head of the establishment give way. He would only know the true extent of hosting and running a show if he moved out to start on his own. When a devotee who frequented AVM and participated in its puja and charity activities, in moving into a new home, wanted to conduct a puja and sought permission for Agathiyar to grace his home in the form of his murthy or statue, Agathiyar granted his wish but reminded me that my wife and children should not be involved in the preparations. Mahindren whom he sought assistance from arrived only later due to some miscommunication on the time of the puja. The host had to do everything with his wife and a close friend of his. We were merely a witness. As he took much time and it was past the set time, Agathiyar came and announced to all that he was already there and asked to start the puja immediately. After the puja, he confessed that it was no joke hosting a Siddha puja. 

I wanted the devotees to start their journey as I did in my home back then. To help kickstart their journey we brought Agathiyar's statue into the homes of the handful who opened their doors to him to grace their homes. Later Agathiyar had me stop bringing him out. It was our desire to see them continue with Siddha puja in their homes turning it into another AVM. Lord Murugan in coming later relayed Tavayogi's similar wish too that each home become AVM. The general concession that devotees gather once a week on the day for the guru or on other auspicious days at a center or temple was set to be broken here at AVM. In September 2019, Agathiyar brought the shutters down on AVM and had them go their way. While some continued the puja with their family in their homes, for others their journey took a break or ended abruptly. 

Seeing his disciple Guru Namasivayar reach the zenith of Gnanam, Guhai Namasivayar of Tiruvannamalai forced him out of his shadows and made him move to Chidambaram. The reluctant disciple after much persuasion made a deal that he would leave only if his guru showed up at Chidambaram. Upon arrival at the inner sanctum of the Chidambaram temple, he saw his guru waiting for him. A true guru upon monitoring the spiritual growth of his disciple would let him go. One has to even learn to leave the guru and vice versa for even that would account as an attachment.

As Agathiyar wanted the new host of the home he moved into as the statue to conduct his Jayanthi which shall be celebrated in numerous places this Saturday, the devotee called me asking what time should we start and whom to invite. I replied that since he was the host, he should decide. I believe that the moment Agathiyar's statue moved out of my home and my hands I should not dictate or determine the next course of action. He was under the purview of the host entirely. A devotee (A) was asked to part with a statue of Agathiyar that he had worshipped long with another devotee (B) in the Nadi. Agathiyar came in the Nadi of the new host (B) to ask him to receive him in his home. Citing various reasons, he (B) had the statue moved to the home of another devotee (C) who then cared for Agathiyar. When she (C) died the children decided to move him to a rented shophouse. (B) told me that he was saddened and disturbed hearing this. I told him to let go for it was not his concern anymore. Since Agathiyar had decided to move on he too should learn to do so. 

Agathiyar has given numerous instructions to many. To some, he comes around asking if they complied. For others he lets them be, knowing pretty well that they shall come around to him sometime in the future. He moves on, seeking other potential souls to mold into a Siddha. I am glad that I was willing to part with him the very moment Agathiyar mentioned his intention to go over to Mahindren's home. But later he decides to move into the home of the new host, Krishna for reasons that only he knows. Along the way, he tested the new couple if they were willing to let him move home. But as they remained silent Agathiyar shelved the idea as they were not ready to move into the next phase. As there are two sides to the coin, while Agathiyar wanted to test them if they would let go and bring them to the next phase of Gnanam, they saw it as Agathiyar testing their devotion or Bhakti to him and keeping him. 

As they say, the Siddhas and the Gods are having a field day playing their Lila, this is indeed a testing ground for us. If fellow men are known to test our patience, and nature, the Siddhas and the Gods do their part too in having us become "holy". 

We read at https://medium.com/illumination,

"The nature of this World is that it is a Test — Unless the Believer convinces himself of that and instills this idea in his mind, and equips himself with patience (in the Face of tests), his life will become more difficult and he will miss out on reward."

Among the AVM family members, I was amazed to see some arrive at the right understanding and perception of life. The couple Balachander Aiya and Shanthi Amma, in their sixties like me, have come to terms with life accepting everything that comes their way as the will of God and his test. When a new mother spoke about having laid out three choices to name their newly born son, contemplating which to pick, I told her what Thondu Seivom Balachandran told me after coming out reading his very first Nadi. He asked me if his parents named him or Agathiyar for if his name was mentioned in the Nadi that was supposedly written thousands of years ago, how can his parents claim that they named him. To this the new mum surprised me by saying that we are living a movie that was already made, echoing Yogi Ramsuratkumar. Speaking to a follower of this blog and a devotee of Agathiyar, who had returned home to India to take a break from work in Germany, I was keen to know if he had come across any literature that could shed some light as to why the Chola dynasty said to rule as far as our shores decided to leave abruptly. There is said to be evidence that has yet to be unearthed pointing to their rule in the present-day Malay peninsula. I believe scholars in India could shed some light as the Cholas originated from India. But he surprised me that he preferred to read stuff that could enhance the souls rather than dwell on greed that drove men to amass more lands. Here is another candidate whom Agathiyar could begin to mold.

UPDATES

If in times of our peril we stand before Prapanjam asking to make good and right the wrong that takes place, we never think about giving back to her reinforcing her health and strength. It needed Lord Shiva to come to us asking us to help Prapanjam in correcting the situation and bringing a balance when we were faced with eviction from this physical body due to the onslaught of the deadly Coronavirus. He asked us to conduct homam in our homes reciting the Mrityunjaya Mantra and Dhanvantri Mantra. We were asked to place turmeric in a water vessel and have all those coming into the house wash themselves first. We adopted and followed as told. This reminded me of Lord Shiva summoning Agathiyar as we are told to go south and bring a balance to the world and all its shortcomings in the past. 

Later seeing a revival of the virus, Prapanjam herself came and asked us to do it again. Yesterday Agathiyar reminded us to place the said water for visitors to wash up before walking in. We see an increase in number of Covid cases now. Seeing the number of Covid and influenza cases rise I had messaged many to carry out the homam in their homes. Thondu Seivom Balachandran Gunasegaran sent me photos of his home puja.

It was wonderful to see the next generation participating and carrying out the rituals following their parents. It also brought back memories of our travels together on the path of Sariyai and Kriyai in walking with the Siddhas. 

If I had carried out the festivities at my home to coincide with the celebration at Kallar Ashram after Tavayogi instructed me to do so since 2005, later Agathiyar switched the day for us at AVM to coincide with the Thaipusam festival. Now since Agathiyar brought all rituals to a halt and had us move his bronze statue to another devotee's home the question arose if the new host has to continue and if yes whether to coincide with Kallar or AVM.  Agathiyar answered our query asking the new host to go ahead and conduct it on 30 December 2023 to coincide with the celebrations at Kallar Ashram and the Adhi Kumbeshwar temple. He asked to carry out homam and abhisegam. 

TAKING ON THE GIVEN ROLE

The world is now saturated with so much information that it is suffocating. I believe that we can only speak about something after gaining experiences or putting ourselves or things to the test. Otherwise, it would be just vomiting things we heard, read, and saw. Many have come forward to speak their thoughts and opinions in public, through their writings, and on social media, including me. Here I am churning out pages upon pages of stuff and recycled information besides a tiny weeny bit of my own writings. I wonder if I am adding on to the already over-stuffed container. But my memoirs were all about my maiden pilgrimages and three other to the land of the Mystic. It was my detailed account of my travels seeking the promised land of the Siddhas. Even as I shared my journeys and exploration I would consult Suren who was an ardent reader if I had revealed too much or had boosted my ego through these writings. There were many a day that I wanted to call it a day but Agathiyar in my Nadi readings kept asking me to write.

BKS Iyengar could talk about Yoga for he was a practitioner who came to be regarded as the world's greatest teacher of yoga. Agathiyar tells us that they only taught us what was practiced by them. Tavayogi too only taught us what he practiced daily, hence the reason Agathiyar asked me to spend a couple of days at his Kallar Ashram. Ramalinga Adigal could share his vast experiences after reaching the states he has mentioned in his songs. He did not quote others or pass on others' experiences as his own. Watching the experiences of the saints discussed and shared by many taking the stage or on social media, I wonder if they had gone through similar experiences. As if to drive this point, just as Patanjali reroutes us within after traveling the route of Yama and Niyama, to take on Asana, Praṇayama, and Pratyahara, Agathiyar later, only wanted me to write about the experiences taking place internally. 

I too wanted to know about the Siddhas and read much about them. But I could not comprehend most of what they said. Spending a few days at his old ashram some 2 kilometers away, Tavayogi had me drop my hold on my possessions, telling me that I did not need the nine-gem studded gold ring I wore on my finger, the Rasamani or solidified mercury bead on me and also had me burn the intention of wearing a Rudraksha on me even before it manifested in me. Watching and learning from my gurus I learned to stay away from these "potential traps". Supramania Swami who at one stage performed Sitthu or Sitthis roamed the streets adorned only in the bark of a banana tree. Though he could locate hidden items and have them retrieved from the ground and turn a handful of sand into the sacred ash, the family was devastated. A "stranger woman" finally came by and gave him a handful of cooked rice that he ate and regained his mind and came to his senses. Now who was she? He could not recall those years he was gifted with Sitthis. Later in 2006, as work began on a temple that he had dreamed of building for Lord Murugan, a "stranger" stood before his kudil and waved him to come out. He asked Swami why he was taking a step back into Bhakti when he was a Gnani. Now who was he? While the divine stopped his aspiration and dream and desire to build a temple Agathiyar in the Nadi reading for Tavayogi told him to build one for him at Kallar and told him to come over to Malaysia and preach the path. I knew the troubles he went through right till the moment of Kumbhabisegam. It was not an easy task. So when Agathiyar in my first Nadi reading in 2005 and Lord Murugan in another Nadi reading in 2018 called me to build a temple for them, I did not move to do it. Later they told me that they had tested me. 

When many sought to know about the Kundalini, and Siddhis, and awaken them, I asked myself what would I do with the Kundalini energy upon arousal and the Siddhis after being gifted. How is the awakening of the dormant energy in the former and the magical gifts of carrying out miracles as in Siddhis going to help me or others? If one wants to walk on the surface of water, he can always hire a boatman in present times. But this is what is being sought by seekers. And they want it fast and easy. They are willing to pay for it too. The lure of all the publicity that has grown surrounding these mystical occurrences and happenings is too strong for many to stay away from. I suppose they believe that they could use these gifts to uplift the status of their material life, and make a living out of it, or hold positions and be respected, gain fame and popularity, etc. I fear that many teachings, positions and authority, responsibilities, gifts, and rewards that come by could be misused. 

Hence we understand why Patanjali addresses and stresses the need to know, practice, and uphold the very first limb of his Astanga Yoga, Yama, or restraints and ethics of behavior, which are the basic requirement and foundation of better things to come to be known. Imagine the consequences of power if it were to fall into the wrong hands. This is the reason the seeker and follower who turn aspirant and Sadhaka are tested for some 12 years before any knowledge is passed on to them. One can forget the gift of authority and power for that duration. 

I had remained withdrawn even when Tavayogi asked that I speak about the Siddhas at an opening of an affiliate Peedham in Banting during one of his visits to Malaysia. Since I avoided public forums, organizations, and movements, Agathiyar brought them to me. My home took on the role of a Peedham with the coming of many youths after reading their Nadi. I was sent several seekers to be their guru. But I shied away from that immense responsibility. Just as Ramalinga Adigal told me the more we refuse these gifts the more that they shall shower on us, the Nadi that was supposed to come my way, the position and authority and respect that comes with assuming the role of a master, the possibility of expanding the premises and even building a temple, all were in the making and would have materialized if I had nodded my head. Since I turned down these gifts, Agathiyar closed those doors and opened the door to his home that Ramalinga Adigal knocked on and pleaded with Lord Siva to open the door. It is true that Tavayogi once mentioned that we have come by gaining much without going through any hardship for he and others only had them coming after trekking the jungles, sleeping under the skies, drenched in rain and hungry, and going on without food for days.

What happens when he opens the door to his home? We have access to his home and the freedom to explore further his world and realm. Tavayogi is with him now. Ramalinga Adigal is with him too. Supramania Swami too is there with his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar. All the Siddhas are there too going about their work. Just as we think and speak about them they too are in consultation speaking about us as Agathiyar revealed. We are now a part of their family, the Siddha family. Though we haven't attained the status of a Siddha we are allowed into their home and grounds to run around. Here in Samadi pada, we are observed for our code of conduct. We take up upon ourselves to clean the home and attend to the needs of the Siddhas as in Sariyai. This is similar to living in the world of Siva or Salogam. This is akin to a child living in the world of adults. Eventually, we come around, pick up the toys laid around, play with them, analyze them, and learn a thing or two during play. We begin to observe and take up Niyama. We pick up the method and the practice of carrying out Kriyas coming to the Sadhana pada. We are given the responsibility now to carry out the rituals that the Siddhas did. The Siddhas step back and watch the youth now take on the responsibilities given. We rub shoulders with them coming to Sameebam. Next, we stand at Vibhuti pada where we become curious to know more and hungry for details and information regarding these practices. The hidden wealth that comes through these practices is now passed on to us. We are then taught the Asana or physical postures and the practice of Praṇayama or nurturing the Prana (breath) within us that bring on an internal transformation in us. We turn into young adults, taking charge of our bodies and minds, and our life breath, and soul. We take the form of Siva or Saarupam.

As age catches up with us and after settling our responsibilities, we then settle down in  Pratyahara or withdrawal of the senses. We go within to unearth the hidden treasures and gifts - Quietitude, Contentment, and Peace - that are to be treasured more than the earlier gifts that were laid before us for the taking. Arriving at Kaivalya pada where our actions cannot produce reactions we dissipate the learned and earned knowledge and experience to others so that "consciousness may dissolve in the light of the soul of every being." It is only after reaching the state of satisfaction and completeness, where we do not seek anything further, that we are now able to serve others fully. We are tasked by the Siddhas to do their work, carry out their mission, and bring others to the fold. Still, we are not Siddhas as yet but only their emissaries. We have only arrived at the door to the merger or union or betrothal or the Final Summation that is Saayutcham. The door opens up to the ocean where Lord Siva awaits to ferry us across to his land of paradise as he did Tavayogi. Supramania Swami had to close up the window to this land and mountain beyond the ocean as it was fiery and his eyes could not look at it no more.