I came across a Malaysian at Kallar Ashram who started his search when he was 25. After 25 years he was still searching. His search now brought him the steps of Kallar ashram. We only became acquainted at that moment although we were both from Malaysia. He had moved into the ashram earlier. He made me uncomfortable when he began to open up the can of worms speaking ill about the many institutions that he had been to prior to arriving at Kallar. I felt sad that he was damaging the very institutions that had given him food and a roof over his head all these years. He told me that he had finally found Kallar to be genuine. I thought he would settle to serve at Kallar but I was surprised to see him in Malaysia after three years. I guess Agathiyar wanted to teach me something by having me meet the many faces of his devotees and learn a thing or two, as he says the Siddha path is one of gaining experiences and learning from them. Geetha Anand, the blog administrator at http://agatthiyarjnanam.blogspot.com/2014/01/agatthiyar-meijnana-kaviyam-1.html, too in translating "Agatthiyar Meijnanam" writes, "Siddha marga is an experiential path, not a dry jnana marga. It is a path where experience and knowledge go together. Experience is always correct. When one tries to verbalize an experience, mistakes and shortcomings occur. These mistakes can be corrected only by re-experiencing the original experience. This is possible only by Divine grace."
I came across a couple of stories shared on Fb that teaches us a lesson too.
Prem Niranjana shared Odhara Moon's post.
"SEARCH FOR A MASTER"
A man went in search of a Master. He was ready to go around the world, but he was determined to find the Master, the true Master, the Perfect Master. Outside his village, he met an old man, a nice fellow sitting under a tree. He asked the old man, "Have you ever heard in your long life ... look like a wanderer ..."
He said, "Yes, I am a wanderer. I wandered all over the earth."
The man said, "That is the right kind of person. Can you suggest to me where I should go? I want to be a disciple of a Perfect Master."
The old man suggested a few addresses to him, and the young man thanked him and went on.
After thirty years of wandering around the earth and finding nobody who was exactly fulfilling his expectations, he came back dejected, and depressed. The moment he was entering his village he saw the old man who had become very old now, sitting under a tree. And suddenly he recognized that he is the Master! He fell at his feet and said, "Why didn't you say it to me, that you are the Master?"
The old man said, "But that was not the time for you. You could not recognize me. You needed some experience. Wandering around the earth has given you a certain maturity, a certain understanding. Now you see. Last time you had met me, but you had not seen me. You had missed. You were asking me about some Master. That was enough proof that you could not smell the fragrance. You were utterly blind; hence I gave you some bogus addresses so you could go. But even to be with the wrong people is good, because that is ... how one learns. For thirty years I have been waiting for you here. I have not left this tree."
In fact, the young man, who was not young anymore, looked at the tree and was even more surprised. Because in his dreams, in his visions he was always seeing that tree and there was always a feeling that he would find the Master sitting under this tree. Last time he had not seen the tree at all. The tree was there, the Master was there, Everything was ready ... but he was not ready."
- Sufi Story
And of course, Sriinaath Raghavan who is known to give us gems writes another.
"There was an ardent practitioner of Kriya Yoga who would go to the Mountains often to meditate. On one such trip, he unexpectedly happened to meet the Eternal Yogi, called Babaji. He fell at Babaji's feet, and told the great Saint, how he always wished to see him and receive Deeksha. The Saint however kept silent and listened with a patient ear, because all of them who happened to meet, more or less tell the same thing. After the Seeker finished talking, Babaji asked him to follow through a dense jungle, winding their way across many slopes, till they finally reached a cave, where the Saint lived. They sat inside and Babaji offered the Seeker a drink of something plain like water, but one that refreshed him to the core. Then the Seeker settling himself down asked, "Can you initiate me into the practice of Kriya Yoga?"
Babaji gently nodded his head in approval and imparted the highest wisdom of Kriya to the Seeker.
The Seeker after receiving the teachings felt uncommonly dejected and turning towards the Master complained, "Master this was not how it was mentioned on the website, it was far more complex with a lot of Mudras and Bandhas?"
Babaji once again nodded his head gently and vanished from sight.
It is said that this Seeker still roams the Mountains in search of Babaji, who is yet to confirm which one is right, He the Master of the Kriya or the Website. Alas! No matter what, we can never look beyond the book because we are hooked.
As the Sufi saint told the seeker, "You were utterly blind; hence I gave you some bogus addresses so you could go. But even to be with the wrong people is good, because that is ... how one learns", and as the seeker in the other story was still waiting for Babaji to tell him that the websites are right, and as Geeta Anand wrote "When one tries to verbalize an experience, mistakes, and shortcomings occur. These mistakes can be corrected only by re-experiencing the original experience", I guess this is the reason we keep coming back again and again until we recognize and submit and surrender to the guru and the divine. I am glad that my search stopped after Agathiyar showed me to Supramania Swami and Tavayogi.