I had started writing a draft and left it aside as Mahin knocked on my door last evening. Later that night Agathiyar came and asked me to tone down and mellow the writing so that it doesn't invoke fear in seekers new to the path. He did read the draft, my god! And asked me to make changes as the chief editor does in any press office. I used to ask Agathiyar why the Siddhas who are most compassionate can at times be stern with some. If a father in wanting to discipline his kids acts harshly I guess the Siddhas too sometimes take the cane as the discipline master does. Though we do not understand then, we tend to appreciate what they did many years on when we are successful in life. And so Agathiyar told me to let go of my anger as it would jeopardize the effort he has put into us all this while. He asked if he needed to take another class reminding me of the hour-long lecture on anger management that he had me sit and listen to through the Nadi in the past. Back then he said anger would tarnish our tapas. Now he warns us that we shall fall back to the previous lower chakras if we do not address our anger.
நான் மீண்டும் உமக்குச் சினத்தை அழிக்கப் பயற்சி எடுக்க வேண்டுமா. சினம் கொண்டால் அதுமீண்டும் மூலாதாரத்தைத் தொட்டு விடும். சினத்தால் மூலாதாரத்தைத் தொட்டு விட்டால் எங்களது செயல் எல்லாம் வீணாற்று போய்விடும்.
I am going through a phase where I want answers and the truth. The Siddhas can at times avoid the truth, not that they lie, but knowing that the truth hurts they hide it. But living in a confused state can be even more painful. Clarity brings joy. Knowing the answers and why something is happening might put us at rest. So Agathiyar came yesterday to explain what was happening within and around me. Agathiyar asks that I do not dwell on external noise but work toward hearing the music within. That is my guru's wish too he said. He says to follow the breath and immerse in it. Then all external noise subsides.
புற சப்தத்தை பொருட்படுத்தாது உன் அகசப்தத்தை வெளி கொண்டுவா. அதுவே உன் குருவின் விருப்பம். உன் சுவாசத்தை கவனித்து வா. அதில் ஆழ்ந்து போகும் போது புறசப்த்தம் தொல்லை அளிக்காது.
He said that if the current disturbances diverted my attention the Maunam or silence established thus far cannot be retained for long. This itself is a test. When I replied that it was a severe test, he said that I haven't seen what Jnana Jothiamma and Tavayogi went through. In comparison mine was mild he says.
இன்னல்களில் மனம் போனால் உன் மௌனம் நிலைக்காது. அதுவே பயற்சி. ஜோதிக்கு இட்ட கடும் பயற்சி விட எம்பயற்சி இலகுவானது. தவயோகிக்கு இட்டதை விட இது இலகுவானது.
Agathiyar defines the three states that Ramalinga Adigal expounded on. To be awake, to have a hunger, and to be alone. To be awake does not mean not having slept. It means not losing sight of our spiritual goals. To be hungry means to hunger for Gnana. To be alone means to maintain silence. Agathiyar asks that I pursue all three. The rest shall not bother you. It needs tremendous effort.
விழித்திரு. விழித்திருப்பது உறக்கமின்றி விழித்திருப்பதல்ல. நீ எதை நோக்கிப் பயணிக்க விரும்புகிறாயோ அதனை நோக்கி இரு.
பசித்திரு. ஞான பசியாய் இருந்து விடு.
தனித்திரு. மௌனத்தில் லயித்திரு. அதனை நோக்கி நீ கவனம் செலுத்துவீர். அதைத் தாண்டி மற்றவை உனக்குத் தொந்தரவு அளிக்காது. பயிற்சியினை மேற்கொண்டு தான் தீர வேண்டும். கடுமையான பயற்சி மேற்கொண்டாலே அது சாத்தியம்.
Agathiyar describes what is currently taking place within. Hearing is amplified. Sense of smell is accentuated. Things taste better. Bliss expands. Hunger pangs increase. Lust too increases. Excessive toxin is expelled. On attaining these the flowering takes place in the crown of the head. He said he has blessed us with all the above.
நுகருத்தல் அதிகமாகி. ருசி அதிகமாகி. இன்பம் அதிகமாகி. பசி அதிகமாகி. காமம் அதிகமாகி. கழிவு அதிகமாகி. இது சித்திதால் சிரசில் மலர் விரியும். நோய்வற்ற உடல். கழிவற்ற சிந்தனை. ருசிமிக்க சமையல். நுகர்வது ....தந்தோம் யாம் உனக்கு. கேட்கும் திறன் அதிகரிக்கும்.
Agathiyar asks that I carry out Lord Murugan's directive to help establish each home as Agathiyar Vanam. He said the seeds has been planted back then. I need to water them. This was my guru's wish too he continued.
என் அப்பன் முருகன் இட்ட கட்டளை அதைச் செய்து வா. அன்று இட்ட விதை. நீ நீர் உற்று. இது உன் குருவின் ஆசை. எனக்கு உன்மூலம் செய்ய வேண்டியது இருக்கிறது.
As Sivarathri was just days away Mahin and I was contemplating whether we need to do rituals as we have been doing all these years. Even during the recent annual celebration for Agathiyar during Thaipusam, we opted not to carry out any abiding by his dictate to have us all move into the Gnana path. Both Agathiyar and Lord Murugan who came that day never switched what we had planned instead they enjoyed the bhajan and blessed us. But yesterday Agathiyar asked us to carry out a libation for him beginning with water at 6pm, sandalwood paste at 9pm, turmeric paste at 12 midnight, and milk followed by vibhuti at 3am. He was to be left adorning only the sacred ash. He named who I should invite too. He will come then he said. He said Sivarathri is a good day for the guru to give and the student to receive. It amazes me to see how the Siddhas guide us besides giving the Yogic practices and reconstructing the diet and health, now have come down to giving the details of conducting the rituals and puja, listing what needs to be done and when. This reminds me of the numerous Nadi readings by Siddhas revealed at Ongkaara Kudil where even the covers and contents of their invitations and publications are told by these Siddhas. We are indeed gifted to have Agathiyars as a guru.