MEMOS FROM AGATHIYAN

I had written in an earlier post that as a devotee who was asked to go to India to carry out a remedy was unable to leave then, Agathiyar replaced that particular remedy by asking her to feed the hungry for 8 Amavasai or the nights when the moon is not visible. She identified several unfortunate souls in a flat and saw through doing the remedy. As she stopped doing it after that, the act I understood was result-based. It was to appease the need of the moment. I had indicated my surprise that she did not continue beyond that time frame seeing these hungry and unfortunate souls struggling to survive among rising costs and inflation. Agathiyar identified this place to us later and had AVM continue to take up the cause. After reading the post, she corrected me and my wrong understanding. 

Vanakkam aiya, i sat down to read your blog since i had time today. I found an article which i believe you are referring to me. Aiya, maybe i did not update you. I did not do exactly 8 ammavasai. We did more than that. People there asked for groceries, which we could not provide at that time. That’s when AVM team came in. Even after that we continued to feed homeless friends in KL after every month. I stopped it end of last year because i was not well. But the amount we channeled to other’s who needed help. It’s just that i did not update everything to everyone even in social media. I like to keep it private aiya. i prayed for alternate remedy but we were not selfish to stop it aiya. and aiya, in my dream agathiyar sent me a note written in tamizh. i took it as a remedy.

I thank her for clearing the air.

If in my last post, I mentioned that I was surprised to see the post on Tuesday, 28 May 2019, which I cannot recall having written, I guess the reason Agathiyar had me write down on a piece of paper his message last Guru Purnima was to serve as proof of the transmission. In asking us who Agathiyan is he explained the journey of transformation in becoming him or rather to rediscover him in us. He placed the questions to us and answered them too.

"Who is Agathiyan? 

You are. I am. True. We all are Agathiyan. The Jothi or flame in us is Agathiyan. He resides as the fire, flame, heat, and warmth in us. He is Esan. He is the Esan who resides within. 

Why is it that we do not realize nor feel him? 

It is because we have not attained the state of preparedness or readiness to realize him. Once our soul attains this state, we shall begin to realize him. 

How can we attain this state of preparedness?

First, we have to travel this path. We need to travel to the places and abodes of the Siddhas, witness their miracles, enter the states of bliss, and bring back these feelings and work on them, nurturing them.

The Siddhas shall come down. When we follow their directives they shall walk with us holding our hands. This travel then shall not be that of an external but of an internal journey. Yoga is the key to this travel within. From Sariyai arriving at Kriyai, now they shall teach Yogam. The journey within shall begin. You shall witness happenings. You shall see many things. It would be puzzling to you. It would be new to you too. Continuing this internal journey, you shall arrive at each Chakra and eventually see the cosmic dance of Thillai in Sahasrara. A 1000-petaled flower will keep on opening up continuously. Arutjothi will come to reside here. Then its effulgence enters within, and just as how the Kundalini upon awakening traverses each Chakra purifying them, this effulgence brings on the shine and luminosity in them. Jothi Darisanam takes place where one sees the light or effulgence. The body takes on the same. Vibrations begin to emit within and around us and are felt by those tuned to receive and feel around us. They shall follow you. You become a Jeeva Mukta, having attained Mukti while living in the flesh. 

Henceforth you are no different from Agathiyan and Agathiyan is no different from you. You are me and I am you."

"யார் அகத்தியன்?

நீ அகத்தியன். நான் அகத்தியன். உண்மை. நாம் எல்லோரும் அகத்தியன். நம் உள் உள்ள ஜோதி அகத்தியன். அவர் அகத்துள் உறையும் தீ அகத்தியன். அவர் ஈசன். அவர் அகத்துள் உறையும் ஈசன்.

ஏன் நாம் அவரை உணர்வதில்லை? ஏன் நாம் இதனை உணர்வதில்லை?

நாம் பக்குவம் அடையவில்லை. நாம் ஆத்மா பக்குவம் அடைந்தால் நாம் இதனை உணர்வோம்.

நாம் எப்படி பக்குவம் அடைவது?

முதலில் இந்த பாதையில் பயணிக்க வேண்டும். சித்தர்கள் வாசம் செய்யும் இடங்களுக்குச்  சென்று, பல அற்புதங்களைக் கண்டு மகிழ்ந்து, உணர்ந்து, பின்னர் அவ் உணர்வுடன் இல்லம் திரும்பி, அவர்களை நினைத்து நினைத்து உருகிப் பூஜிக்க வேண்டும்.

சித்தன் இறங்கி வருவான். பின் அவன் கட்டளைக்கு ஏற்ப நடந்து வந்தால் விரைவில் அவன் உங்கள் கரங்களை பிடித்து கொண்டு பயணிப்பான். இப் பயணம் வெளி பயணம் அன்று உள் பயணம் ஆகும். உள் பயணத்திற்குத் திறவுகோல் யோகம். சரியையிலிருந்து கிரியைக்கு வந்த பின்னர் இப்போது யோகம் பயிற்றுவிப்பான். அப்போது உள் பயணம் ஏற்படும். பல நிகழ்வினை காண்பீர். பலதும் உணர்வீர். புதிராகவும் இருக்கும். புதியதுவாகவும் இருக்கும். இவ் உள் பயணதைத்  தொடர்ந்து வந்தால் ஒவ்வொரு சக்கரமாகச் சென்று அடைந்து பின் இறுதியில் சஹஸ்ராரவில் தில்லை நடனத்தைக் காணலாம். எந் நேரமும் அங்கு ஆயிரம் தாழ் மலர் ஒன்று விரிந்து கொண்டே செல்லும். அருட்சோதி அங்கு வந்து உறையும். பின் அதன் பிரகாசம் உள் சென்று எப்படி குண்டலினி ஒவ்வொரு சக்கரமாக மேலே சென்றதோ சென்று கழிவுகளை விளக்கி தூய்மை செய்ததுவோ அதுபோல் அருட்சோதி கீழ்ச்சென்று ஒவ்வொரு சக்கரமும் பிரகாசிக்கச் செய்யும். ஜோதி தரிசனம் கிட்டும். உடல் ஜோதி பிழம்பாக திகழும். உடல் பிரகாசிக்கும். உடலில் இருந்து அதிர்வுகள் நீண்டு உங்களைச் சூழ்ந்து மற்றவர்களைத் தாக்கும். பலர் இதனை உணரக் கூடும். பக்குவம் அடைந்தவர்கள் புரிந்து கொண்டு பின் தொடர்வார். அப்போது நீ ஜீவ முக்தன் ஆகிவிடுவாய். உனது ஜீவன் முக்தி அடைந்து விட்டது. பின் நீ வேறு அகத்தியன் வேறு அல்ல. நீயே நானாய் நானே நீயாய் திகழ்வோம். 

Similarly some time back when many spoke and wrote about the spirit and the soul using these terms interchangeably, I was confused and sought clarification from Agathiyar. To our surprise, he dictated that another devotee Mahindren sit with a paper and pen while he explained, clearing the air and confusion, and setting the record straight. Mahindren wrote to me saying,

"After reading this post, (the earlier post where I went ahead and posted what I understood of Udal, Uyir, and Atma) something forced me to go and meditate with a book & pen Anna. I never close my eyes this time but like someone whispering to me on Udal, Porul, and Aavi fast, my writing becomes a scribble. I’ll rewrite it and send Anna. At that moment my body shivered because the vibration wasn’t stopping until I shared with Anna."

Agathiyar explained as follows.

We are a composite of the Pindam or Udal or body, Vaasi or Uyir or breath, and the Atma. The Pindam is made of Tattwas. So are the Uyir and Atma. The Pindam made of the elements derived from the Pancha Maha Bhutam in a specific proportion takes a form that begins to reside in the womb. The 5 elements are taken from each parent's body to shape the body of the fetus. In the event, that the proportions are compromised complications appear in the fetus.

உடல் என்பது ஐந்து உலோகங்களின் நுண்ணுயிர்களின் அளவுகளைத் தாங்கிக் கொண்டு பிண்டம் ஒன்றினை உருவ வடிவமாய் கர்ப்பகிரகத்தில் நிலை பெறுகிறது. பஞ்சபூதம் ஆகிய நீர், நிலம், ஆகாயம், காற்று, நெருப்பு அனைத்தும் தாய் தந்தையின் உடலிலிருந்தே  எடுக்கப்பட்டு சிசுவின் உடலைப் பிறப்பிக்கின்றது. இவைகளின் அளவுகள் குறையும் தருவாயில் சிசு தன் உடலின் பாகங்களில் கோளாறு ஏற்படுகிறது.

நிலத்தின் அளவு - 1/3

One portion of the earth is from the female and three portions are from the male.

நீரின் அளவு – 4/3

Four portions of water are from the female and three are from the male.

நெருப்பின் அளவு – 5/6

Five portions of fire from the female and six from the male.

காற்றின் அளவு – 8/2

Eight portions of air from the female, two from the male, and finally

ஆகாயத்தின் அளவு – 1/8

One portion of Ether from the female and eight from the male go towards making a healthy constitution. 

இவ்வாறு அதற்கென்று அளவுகள் பிரம்மதேவரால் கணக்கிட்டு உடலை உருவாக்கப்படுகிறது.

The breath that is Uyir takes the body as its vehicle to move and execute its actions. It primarily drives our body moving the limbs that are otherwise motionless.

உனது உடலைப் பிரதானமாகக் கொண்டு இயங்குவது சுவாசம், அதுவே உயிர். உயிர் என்பது செயல் அற்று இருக்கக்கூடிய உறுப்பைச் செயல் பெறச் செய்வது. 

The Pranavayu is the primary cause of the conception of an embryo and a fetus. The Pranavayu that flows in with the elements from both the parents moves to take a shape that has the potential to become life. Life is hence given to the embryo. Air is breathed into the Pindam.

பிறக்கும் சிசு கருவுற மூலமாக இருப்பது பிராணவாயு. பிராணவாயு ஆணின் அணுக்களிலும் பெண்ணின் அணுக்களிலும் ஊடுருவி ஒன்றெனக் கலந்து பிரதான பொருள் வடிவம் அடையும் தன்மை உண்டானால் அங்கு உயிர் சக்தி உருவேற்ற படுகிறது. 

The Atma keeps both the Udal and Uyir under its grip. But the Atma soon loses its grip and hold on us between 1 and 5 Varahai, a time used in the ancient days that I have yet to find an equivalent terminology or reference to present times. 

ஆன்மா உடலையும் உயிரையும் தனது கட்டுப்பாட்டுக்குள் வைத்துக் கொள்ளும் ஒரு சூச்சமம். இந்தச் சூச்சமத்தை பிறந்த குழந்தைகள் 1  முதல் 5 வராகை வரையிலும் உடன் இருந்து மறையும். 

Although Agathiyar said he could not reveal the reason for the Atma to be veiled, after several readings we figured out its reason. 

மறைத்தலின் காரணம் இன்னதென்று இப்போது உனக்குச் சொல்ல இயலாது. 

Agathiyar adds that the Atma makes its presence known depending on his or her actions. 

ஆனபோதிலும் ஆன்ம ஒருவரின் செயலைப் பொறுத்தே மீண்டும் அவனை வந்து சேரும். 

The Atma draws aside the veil and appears before him to help navigate the rest of his life according to the direction and action that he takes. 

ஆன்மா உன்னோடு இருந்து உன்னை ஒரு பாதைக்கு இழுத்து செல்லும். 

When the Atma in you pulls you to a path and if you realize it, it appears as an Athirvu or vibration and disappears. If you practice extending this vibration in you, you shall merge in this vibration that is the Atma, and arrive at  Erai/ Agathiyan.

அப்போது நீ அதனை உணர்ந்தாள், உன்னில் அதிர்வாய் தோன்றி மறையும். அந்த அதிர்வினை நீ உனக்குள் நீடிக்கப் பழகினால் உன்னால் ஆன்மா என்னும் உனது அதிர்வுகளில் ஊடுருவி என்னுள் (இறை / அகத்தியன்) வந்து சேர ஒரு வழி.

Writing a series of posts later to understand precisely the matter on hand, and reset things in its right perspective, Agathiyar came to endorse the understanding telling us 

"I had revealed to you about the Udal, Uyir, and Atma. I am proud that you have understood it correctly." 

எனது படிப்பின் மூலம் உங்களுக்கு உடல் உயிர் ஆத்மா சூட்சமத்தை தந்துள்ளேன். அதைக் கொண்டு உனது புரிதலை நான் மெச்சுகின்றேன். 

When the body or Udal takes a form, a composite of the 5 tattvas, and again returns back to these tattvas, the breath or Uyir merges in the Atma and reaches Agathiyan as Jothi. 

உடல் என்பது பஞ்ச பூதங்களில் உரு பெற்று மீண்டும் பஞ்ச பூதங்களிடம் சென்று விட்டால் உயிராகியது ஆன்மா வோடு கலந்து ஜோதிநிலையில் எம்மை வந்து அடையும். உடல் கூறு தத்துவமும் இதையே உமக்கு உணர்த்தும். 

When he says we shall reach him it has to be taken that we come to a realization that he and we are one. 

THE BLISS THAT PREVAILS IN SILENCE

Robert Downey Jr. in hosting YouTube's series - "The Age of A.I." says that the best way to learn something is to teach it. This was seen in the Hindi movie "Rough Book" where a lecturer in a university gives her student an assignment and asks the student to teach the class the next day. After he presents to the class what he had picked up from his research the night before, she asks the class, "Who benefits the most from teaching?" The students answer, "Of course the students." But in truth, it is the teacher who benefits the most, she says. This episode opened up my eyes too. I guess this explains why Supramania Swami told me the more hours I put in, in doing Tavam, his stature will rise. When we learn and share with others, our guru automatically rises up the ladder. I guess Agathiyar is making me read and compare additional information from books, movies, and every other source to substantiate the subject matter that he gives me to write. One thing is for sure. In writing this blog I am learning immensely. 

What is truly real in this world and all of creation that is forever changing? I am not the embryo that I was once. I am not the child that I once was. So too we can go on and on till the present moment. What then is forever in existence at least while we are alive? The breath. Though it changes in intensity according to the activity on hand, it returns within and leaves again to return again. Once it leaves and decides not to return we are dead. If it returns and never leaves that is Samadhi. So should not we worship the breath then? This was Tavayogi's final definition of God, that the breath was God. If initially, during the initiation in Malaysia, he told me that Agathiyar's name and mantra were that of God, he showed me the painting and later the fiber statue of Agathiyar as God upon arrival at his Ashram. Coming down the stairs of Nattatreeswarar Temple he told me that both Siva and Agathiyar were one. Just before leaving, he tells me that the breath was God. 

Sariyai brings us to respect the body as a temple. Being the passive observer as in Sariyai, we prepare our body and mind appropriately in entering a temple. Becoming an active participant, as in conducting rituals in Kriyai, we bring the divine forces into our homes and take up the abode that is our body, bridging both worlds. Yoga then comes to intensify these energies and their presence within us. In all these, the breath is the conduit through which this energy travels within us with various intensities, from high as in conducting our daily lives, to medium as in chanting and sitting in prayers, to mild when we begin to observe the breath, that finally becomes hardly noticeable. In the hours of silence, the "Self" speaks with the "Higher Self" whom we have given various names and forms. All queries are answered in silence. This is the state of Gnanam. Lord Muruga and Agathiyar asked me to sit in silence and observe the breath. In silence, the individual identity is shed. We outwit Maya that divides and separates. What remains then is the One or Yegan. Saint Nakirar in his plea to Lord Vinayagar sings about this state.

மோனா ஞான முழுதும் அளித்து
சிற்பரிப் பூரண சிவத்தைக் காண
நற்சிவ நிட்கள நாட்டமுந் தந்து
குருவுஞ் சீடனுங் கூடிக் கலந்து
இருவரும் ஒரு தனியிடந் தனிற் சேர்ந்து
தானந்தமாகித் தற்பர வெளியில்
ஆனந்த போத அறிவைக் கலந்து
ஈசனிைணயடியிருத்தி
மனத்தே நீயே நானாய்
நானே நீயாய்க்
காயா புரியைக் கனவெனவுணா்ந்து
எல்லாமுன் செயலென்ேற உணர
நல்லா உன்னருள் நாட்டந் தருவாய்
காரண குருவே கற்பகத் களிேற
வாரணமுகத்து வள்ளலே போற்றி

As I revisited my blog to find out what I had written earlier on the state of silence I was surprised to see this piece that I cannot recall having written on Tuesday 28 May 2019.

What if Agathiyar were to speak in those private moments of intimacy and silence? What would he have to say? What would he share?

It was one of the quietest moments, a rare moment itself in the outskirts of the city. The hustle and bustle of traffic that flowed through the main road that cuts across the small housing scheme had died down. The dogs that barked the whole day long and that were supposed to keep watch in the night too had retired for the day together with their masters. The continuous chirping of the birds in the day was momentarily substituted by the occasional outburst of the cricket, known as the night singer. The fireflies flew from one street lamp to the other and finally disappeared out of view. The moon shone brightly in the sky, a scene missed by most of the city dwellers who had to turn in early to wake up early for another day of stressful work. I too entered my prayer room to spend some precious time with my Guru Agathiyar.

As the silence became more intense blocking out the remaining noise of the neighbours' air conditioners, only the sound of my breath was obvious. Soon even that was no more obvious to my hearing. In that moment of deep silence, I felt Agathiyar's presence. I opened my eyes. His bronze statue shone in the light of the oil lamp that keeps burning 24/7. I closed my eyes again. I heard him sigh. I opened my eyes again. There was no visible movement whatsoever. I asked him in silence what was the matter. He remained quiet. Then he spoke. 

"I am disappointed with my children."

I was taken aback. I listened on without interrupting. He continued.

"They think of me only as an astrologer. They think of me only as a shaman. They think of me only as a mediator. They think about me only when in trouble. They come to me asking to settle their debts. They come running to me for a solution or cure at most times. At other times they do not care to remember me."

At this juncture, my mind raced back into time where I had heard a similar lament from both my previous gurus. Supramania Swami lamented that they never asked what he wanted but instead desired their needs to be fulfilled. Tavayogi lamented that they came for material gains and not Gnana. 

Agathiyar continued.

"I am their conscience. Why did not they listen to me speak through their conscience then? It is sad that they had buried me long ago. They act without conscience today. As they came to see all things external, so too have I had the need to build temples externally to bring them to face their conscience externally. They came before me and stood in prayer asking for guidance there. They left their problems at my feet and returned home relieved. They did little bits of charity at these places of worship then. But the practice or worship soon evolved into fear for me, instilled by those who took advantage of these poor souls. Instead of love and devotion in worship towards me they did things out of fear, lest they should earn the wrath of the Gods, they were told. The element of fear was instilled in them instead of love for their creator. Then there came a time they lost even that remaining fear. They stopped believing. I was the stone and the rock in the temple. They stopped patronizing my abodes. Soon there was no means of sustaining these temples just as there was no means to end their troubles. The priests who had a full-time job of taking care of me and my abode had no income. They had to seek other means of survival. The temples were deserted. Charity lost its hold. True devotees were hard to come by. I had to move too as they say to greener pastures, into the homes and the hearts of my devotees who were yearning for me. I had been travelling a lot since, seeking the homes and hearts of my devotees."

It is interesting that just recently seeing the amount of turmoil in the land where it all began, where for instance statues of gurus were removed, I had mentioned to a friend that maybe the reason the Siddhas asked me to build a temple and the others who had already built fine ones for their gurus in Malaysia was a sort of moving or shifting of the premises. 

"Soon man began seeking self-made godman for remedies. As a result, they found themselves loose hefty sums in finding remedies and solutions to their problems. I have sung about these in my Gnana Nool. Today I can only watch in sadness as man moves on with his life indifferent to my existence. I would sit in a corner and watch the world go by. Lobamitra would observe me from a distance not wanting to disturb my thoughts. Occasionally she would walk up to me and enquire about my silence and what was in my thoughts. I would share with her my observation. She would listen intently not saying a word. Finally, she would distract my thoughts pulling me away from falling deeper and further into the world of the mortals. I would then return to my tapas. I am in tapas in your home too. If the need arises to be in Kallar or Pothigai or Kailash I leave immediately. Otherwise, I prefer to be here in your humble dwelling."

And so saying the Mahamuni went back within into a state of silence. I thanked him from the bottom of my heart with tears of joy running down both my cheeks. No audible words came out from my lips, except for the tears that kept flowing endlessly like the Ganges. A sense of coolness crept into me. It was as if I was drenched in bliss. Some energy traversed throughout me. It would have lifted me from the floor if I did not forcibly force myself to be grounded. A broad smile broke out on my face involuntarily which soon turned to a loud burst of laughter from within, that was beyond my control. Was this bliss I wondered, later? We both remained silent for some time. He broke the silence again. 

"I have told my children about the importance of several practices through your writings. But it seems it does not register well with them. Except for a few who have started heeding your words, that are my words, the rest think it is of no immediate urgency. They think it can wait. Let me tell them that there is no moment more precious than the present; there is no life more precious than the present. It is now or never. If you do not do it this moment, the much-awaited moment never comes. You will never find another appropriate moment other than now. You have to create that moment. You are partnered in creation with me. Besides me, you too are given the gift of creation, sustenance, and that of wrecking and destroying. Sadly man is prone to postponing or delaying his own plans. But the divine plan takes place as scheduled. Death comes as scheduled. Do not postpone the rare appointment given to you to meet Me. You might never get another moment with Me."

"You understand very well and have made it known in your writings numerous times. I am available to my devotees through the good gestures you and your wife have done and the facilities built and made available around you. You have provided them access to me in your home through the many years of your worship. I come because of you. I make myself present to all because of your worship. I want them to worship me just as you worshipped me all these years. I too want to move into their homes. I too want to move into their hearts. I want to be constantly with them 24/7. But they have to invite me in first. Only if they invite me with an open heart can I visit and settle in their homes and hearts."

Then he moved on to mention the infighting his devotees had amongst them that again caught me by surprise. I guess he was opening up to me just as I had opened up to him all these years. Our moments of engagement in talking, being monologue as in the past had stopped; instead, it has evolved into a dialogue. He had literally spoken to me and we had a conversation a year and a half back. He spoke to the rest of his devotees too at his temple at Carey Island. That was amazing having the Mahamuni address us through a person, to our knowledge, for the very first time. He was apparently not happy with his children fighting among themselves. He wanted it all to end. He said he had summoned some of them. But only two of his dearest children turned up not because of fear but out of love for him. I felt sad too. I listened quietly. He went into a state of silence again something he does often only to come out of it to say what needed to he said, often returning to his domain of silence. The silence prolonged. I moved away from the room - his room, to let him be with his thoughts. I knew he had moved on to attend to his numerous duties and other matters.

I cannot believe that I had written this piece and posted it back then. But it is there, these words staring back at me. What can I say further but to retreat in silence. 

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

I had asked a question in a recent post, "Where do we draw the line and determine whether to walk away or stop to help or interfere in the affairs of the world?" Many would consider this as meddling with the divine law of cause and effect, action and reaction, or Karma. Thiru Velayutham Karthikeyan Aiya who began the blog "Siththan Arul" which captivated my attention in the years of my search to know about the mysterious workings of the Siddhas, wrote a piece in Tamil on how the Siddhas help those who come seeking solutions. The gist of the matter is that the Siddhas, being compassionate and kind, put forward to God or Erai as they chose to address him, their wish that whoever seeks them for solutions to their problems and surrender, they shall be pardoned for their past deeds, however bad and evil they may be, and shall not be put through the trial and tribulations and made to face the consequences but instead be saved. God granted the Siddhas their wish. The next instant the Siddhas wrote down in Tamil prose on dried palm leaves; the reasons for each individual's sufferings; listed out solutions and remedies; and showed ways and means to overcome or end the seeker's problems, sins, diseases, illnesses, and sufferings. These writings came to be known as the Nadi. 

I had a calling to see my Nadi in 2002 after a lengthy discourse on it given by my colleague who had seen his in 2000. He reminded me of my conversation in 1998, with a friend and Siddha practitioner who was my astrologer too since 1996. He had mentioned the possible reason why his predictions for me did not take off as having an element of a curse that forbade all the good things that I ought to have received. Sadly he told me that he could not look into the charts to determine these as only the Siddhas would know our past. But at that moment since the subject of Agathiyar and the Siddhas was alien to me and I did not know of anyone reading the Nadi in Malaysia and as I had no intent to travel to India, I let it lay to rest. Seeing the Nadi now in 2002, I was told the same, of the curses and the Karma and how they stood in my way, even stopping me from gaining the benefits of my worship of deities and gaining the benefits of Yoga practices both of which I picked up from books. I was asked to carry out remedies both locally and in India.

I guess this is the reason a total stranger asked me what was my problem when we met at the local Peedham that Tavayogi had come to officiate in 2005. I was taken aback as I was there for the sole purpose of learning further about the Siddhas. He continued that many came with problems. As I used to spend my time with Tavayogi during his brief stay there and listen to the many outpourings of those who came before him, Tavayogi later educated me on the difference between problems and suffering. A problem is one of our making and can be solved using our intelligence and some assistance. On the other hand, suffering is beyond our doing, often related to Vinai or Karma, and needs divine assistance. Even Tavayogi would stop short of listening, explaining the reason for their troubles, problems, sufferings, miseries, illnesses, and diseases as that of one's Vinai or Karma and proposing that the seekers take up the worship of the Siddhas for the Siddhas are known to show ways to rid one's Karma. Tavayogi who would stay away from healing or directly taking on another's Karma, made an exception in my daughter's case though, telling me that there was no need to carry out the long list of Parikarams given by Agathiyar in her Nadi reading. I knew then that he would speak to them as he had done on numerous occasions. When I was at his Ashram for the very first time in 2005, as he invited me along for his usual morning walk around the neighborhood the morning after my arrival, he told me that Agathiyar had come to him the night before and asked what he was going to give me. On another occasion, during his last visit to Malaysia in 2016, before he passed on, Agathiyar in a Nadi reading read by Tavayogi for a devotee, had a message for us at Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), spelled out the wish of Tavayogi's guru Chitramuthu Adigal who had gone into Samadhi that we at AVM head for my hometown in Taiping and conduct a Siddha puja at the Taiping Thanneermalai Sri Thandayuthapani Alayam where Chitramuthu Adigal had lived, worked, and carried out Tapas or austerities in the past. As we were asked to go on a Thursday and since it was a working day and we had to travel some 266 km, hearing our difficulty, Tavayogi told us to go on a Sunday, when everyone was available, telling us that he would speak to his guru. 

Though the Siddhas come to aid us through the Kaanda Nadi readings, Aasi Nadi readings, and Jeeva Nadi readings making known of our former blunders that gave rise to all these misgivings in the present life, and give us Parikarams or remedies to either erase these Karma in total or cushion their impact or soften their effects, there have been instances where they too backed off and stepped aside letting fate do its work, at times telling us the same. After coming to Agathiyar in 2002, he told me that he could not help my sister in distress for years. Recently he told my wife that he would take up her plea to Lord Siva and see what could be done for her ailing mother. Later Lord Murugan too came to assist but eventually, Agathiyar told us to leave it to fate and not discuss it any further. Agathiyar told my other daughter to light an oil lamp before Lord Ganapathy on nine consecutive Thursdays for her 4-year-old son, which she continues to do beyond the stipulated time making it a weekly routine. On the other hand, after gathering from a devotee who was asked to go to India to carry out a remedy, for her inability to leave for India then, Agathiyar replaced that particular remedy by asking her to feed the hungry for 8 Amavasai or the nights when the moon is not visible. They identified several unfortunate souls in a flat and saw through doing the remedy. As they stopped doing it after that, their act I understood was result-based. It was to appease their need of the moment. I am surprised that they did not continue beyond that time frame seeing these hungry and unfortunate souls struggling to survive among rising costs and inflation. Agathiyar identified this place to us later and had AVM continue to take up the cause. When we were asked to pull the brakes on doing charity and move within into the next phase, we were worried sick as to what was going to happen to this lot. Agathiyar consoled us that others would come to assist them. True enough Pothihai Tharma Chakram (PTC) continued where we left.

Agathiyar in coming as the bronze statue to my home in 2010 told me that all those who light a lamp before him shall see their plight dissolve. I would take up the many tools that we were given by the Siddhas whenever we needed assistance both through man and the divine and saw results in the form of miracles. All shall end well and to our relief. Many approached me in the past, sharing their plight and hoping that I pray for them. I used to do it until Agathiyar once told us and asked that we relay it to the devotee concerned, asking him to take up the tools for he was no stranger to the Siddha path, and conduct the worship and prayer for his dear ones in these moments of need. As we are known to always pass on our responsibilities to others in all matters, including in religious and spiritual matters, we tend to sublet even carrying out remedies, worship, rituals, pilgrimages, etc to priests, Nadi readers, astrologers, brokers, middlemen, or other devotees too. One has to travel the extra mile and carry them out. In going on pilgrimages to ancient temples built in high and difficult-to-reach terrains and places, one shall exhaust his Karma walking the distance. In personally submitting our prayer, one shall gain confidence to move into the next phase of Kriyai taking on rituals for himself rather than forever staying in the comfort zone of Sariyai, raising one's palms before statues of deities. In carrying out personal rituals the bridge bridging both worlds is drawn down and the deities come within our homes and hearts to stay. Otherwise, just as us reporting in for work, 9 to 5, they shall only shower their grace at specific times as many temples have made it be. 

ARUTPERUNJOTHI

Just as we learned, as they say from the horse's mouth, from the story of the origin of the deity Karupanasamy, son of King Rama, the form given to him and worshipped till now and the meat, tobacco, and liquor offered are a continuation of what he consumed back then taking on a transformation into an "Avatar" or taking on a role as an Asura to defeat other Asuras, was and is merely a snapshot of a scene from the past, a still from a series of frames from the timeline of that age, fitting this single piece of clue into the existing larger maze of puzzles of the many battles fought by the other Gods and Goddesses, taking up arms to defeat the evil natured assailants and Asuras, Ramalinga Adigal too who worshiped the pantheon of Hindu Gods and Goddesses, upon knowing this truth in later years, took the new seekers who came along directly to the worship of the source that has no name, label, form, nor history or a story to tell. So it seems to the public eye that he denied all the other Gods and asked to worship Arutperunjothi. Just as I had to give the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) as a reference for my home in all our conversations and location sharing, Ramalinga Adigal named the source that was Light Arutperunjothi. 

Deepavali or the Festival of Lights is just around the corner. Just as in the opening scene of Disney's "The Jungle Book" we are told that "Many strange stories are told about the jungles of India, but none so strange as the story of a small boy named Mowgli", similarly many stories are told about the land and its festivities, but none are more diversified than that of Deepavali or Diwali. As it is observed throughout the land of Bharat or India, each region has a tale or a twist to add to the many existing stories. But all festivals basically were held to foster closeness and friendship. Besides creating an opportunity for kin and family, friends, and the local community to come together in celebration, it created an opportunity to come to know each other better, resulting in a beautiful and wonderful society. My daughter introduced the art of creating designs or Kolam using rice flour to her colleagues from different races and beliefs and spoke about the significance of the festival, enlightening them on the diversified cultures, traditions, and practices in Malaysia, ahead of the festival several days back. 

Above and beyond this is a deeper truth one of inner transformation, moving from the gross to the subtle and the Light. But it is saddening to see that given the many opportunities in each birth, and the many reminders that come by way of stories about good values and virtues, speeches of the wise and saintly, there is yet no concerted effort or move by many individuals towards purifying the body and establishing the soul to its rightful place. If there are those who come to know the truth of life and its uncertainties, especially on how much longer one would live, turn over a new leaf, and take care of their health till their last days, there are then the others who equally know this truth tend to see life as impermanent and live life to the fullest drowning in all things pleasurable. We can't blame either, can we? It is all a matter of perspective and where one stands.

As for the handful of us, this is the right moment besides lighting up our homes to light up our lives and most importantly light up the soul by freeing it. Siddha Heartbeat wishes all readers a Happy Deepavali.

MAYA

Where do we draw the line and end our dependence on others to show us God? Tavayogi in bringing me to visit three variations of gurus showed me the first who had a desire to take charge and head a movement after his guru's demise and another who could not let go of his hold on the temple that he had put up. Finally, he showed me the last guru who kept to himself waiting for the day to take his place as a star in the night sky. He was indeed a star in the eyes of Tavayogi.

Where do we draw the line and end our dependence on Sariyai and Kriyai and move on to other frontiers? Agathiyar who initiated us to carry out Puja, initially with the family and later had us open our doors to others after bringing together several youths to my home that took on the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) ended it after we had bridged both worlds. Agathiyar tells us that if the need arises we could pick up these tools again to bring relief to all of creation and save the day. 

Where do we draw the line and determine whether to walk away or stop to help or interfere in the affairs of the world? As I did not know, Agathiyar who initiated us to do charity, stopped it later after we learned to distinguish the genuinely poor and hungry and the pretentious and lazy. 

Where do we draw the line and determine whether to walk away from establishments, bodies, movements, and societies? Agathiyar who gathered many and initiated all these activities, under the umbrella of Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia, taught me to let go of my association with these too. If you are to engage with work or activity there is never going to be an end to it. I have seen many hold on to Puja, charity, temples, and centers till their last days, unable to come out of it or leave it or let go. 

Maya gives rise to activities and has us believe that we need to keep up with self-made targets and achieve them. Equally challenging was and is the temptations that Maya brings on. It is indeed truly a battle between the Devas and Asuras within one's Self. In a world of achievers, it is in doing nothing that you win the world. It is in letting go that the Prapanjam begins to shower its gifts on us. Activities result in a resurgence of and continued existence of Maya. We need the grace of Arutperunjothi or the Divine Light to step out of Maya that we are a part of too. To subdue Maya one needs to still his body and mind and eventually his breath. Maya is powerless in silence. 

We come across a quote that goes as follows, "Life Is Not Measured By the Number of Breaths We Take, But By the Moments That Take Our Breath Away." All our activities thrive on and live at the expense of our breath. It is the breath that feeds all these activities. In having come with a certain count and number of breaths at birth, doing Pranayama, besides taking in more air, adds to the count. This adds on many more additional years. Then we are asked to wind down and take a moment to sit in silence. This is Samadhi. In doing so we begin to conserve the breath, leading to some further additional years to our lifespan. The very first breath that comes within to crank up this machine, with Pranayama, just as the blacksmith's bellow fans the fire, fans the fire within, the Tava Kanal, that melts down the door to the Muladhara Chakra, and its heat awakens the coiled creative energy that went into hibernation after creating this body and its Tattvas. With further efforts and continued Pranayama practices, this energy moves up to the Svadhistana and reaches Manipuraka where our efforts end. Henceforth one has to await the grace of Lord Siva to permit his counterpart Sakti to journey further, returning from her father Daksha's abode to her husband's side. At Siva's invitation, the Sakti that has now been waiting for the sacred reunion to take place breaks the bunds and makes her way to the abode of Siva at the Sahasrara where the dance of mystic union of Siva Sakti takes place and gives rise to the opening of the 1000 petals that emit the nectar, honey and ambrosia that fill each pore and cell with bliss and joy.

To help me go within Agathiyar had me close the AVM WhatsApp group that was instrumental in conveying the times of Puja and the schedule of charity programs. He had me go within. He had me go into solitary confinement only dealing with family and a select number of devotees. He had me sleep in his prayer room. He had me take certain herbs that cleansed the internals and prepared me further to take on the surges of energy that were to come my way. He gave me certain techniques to go within. If earlier the Pranayama techniques that Tavayogi taught me did their work in activating the Muladhara and ferrying the awakened energy till the Manipuraka, Agathiyar came to give a hand, breaking the bund to allow the energy to flow on to higher reaches. The creative energy that lay coiled in the Muladhara for some 48 years, upon being activated moved up and ponded and stagnated before the divine hand of Agathiyar in breaking the bund, caused it to swirl as in a whirlpool at the Manipuraka before heading north within days, it reached the summit and upon reaching the sea merged in the larger ocean. Now was the greatest test before me. Lord Siva and Agathiyar churned the ocean and played yet another game, having Indran play host to Maya. Indran became Loki at that moment, the God of Mischief. But Lord Muruga came to warn and caution me of both Lord Siva and Agathiyar's game. After much chaos and confusion as the play ended, they came to clarify, for it is always that true knowledge arises in the chaos and dawns after the mud has settled down. They made me realize that Maya is in all of creation, something that Tavayogi had driven into me the day he stepped into my home in 2005, which I could not make much sense then. I guess I have passed this test too. 

Then when the dust had settled, Agathiyar as Lord Dhakshanamurthy began to impart his knowledge. It is a homecoming, reaching the homing beacon. Though still in the body, the mind churns all kinds of thoughts. We have to encounter them and go past these thoughts to help us settle down. It is truly a battle of wits. First, we are asked to dismiss our body by focusing on the breath. The Siddhas ask us to hitch a ride on the breath, leaving the coach and the engine that is the body and the train of thoughts behind. Then we are asked to focus on the silence in the breath, that eventually brings us to the place of no return, Samadhi. We then have arrived there, at the feet of Lord Dhakshanamurthy. 

I am glad that I had my very first lesson on Maya on Tavayogi's very first visit to my home though I did not understand it then. I came to hear the word Maya mentioned that day. He disrobed me and my faith in holy men including him that very instant. I am glad Agathiyar in asking me to let go taught me to escape the clutches and hold of Maya. I came to know Maya and its hold on us that day. After shutting me up in his room since 2019, early this year Agathiyar released me from captivity and had me go out to see the world. Sadly nothing much has changed. Just when I thought I had gained some clarity, Maya threw in another surprise. I am glad in churning the sea, creating chaos, and exposing Maya, Agathiyar taught me to look through the veil of Maya that clouds all our actions. I came to know the extent of Maya in this divine play that day. If I was confused about why God who the sacred text describes as loving and compassionate was otherwise in the days of bachelorhood, now when I hear, read, and watch certain revelations by the Siddhas and their sacred texts, it makes me wonder if the Siddhas themselves were caught in Maya and she had used them to create chaos. I wonder for instance if Bhogar too like Indran is Loki from the Marvel universe? I wonder if Vyasa too is Loki from the Marvel universe? I guess we shall never get to fathom these mysteries and get to the bottom of the story of Maya and escape from her clutches or find our way out of this dark pit or win over her or win her over. 

I guess I am back to staying away from family, friends, and other's company after having experienced the joy within. In wanting to share this joy I only came across barricades and walls and a blank expression. I understand one has to travel the path to see the light. Only then shall he understand. No amount of speaking or writing will do justice. The hold on Maya is so great that many either do not listen, are not receptive, do not follow the askings of Agathiyar, or are not moved to do his asking. Maya uses every trick in the book to have us hooked on worldly pleasures, fame and glamour, authority and position, or otherwise stuck to the problems and sufferings of daily life that consume us. As we are a part of Maya, it is deeply rooted in us and has gone beyond our reach and recognition. It disguises itself cleverly just as we saw Artificial Intelligence AI cook up a story in the movie "CTRL" that convinces the authorities to investigate an influencer for the murder of her ex-lover and partner. 

It is now difficult to separate the milk from the water. The irony is that we are trying to discern Maya through the faculties of the body and mind that are a result of creation and tainted in Maya. Can we possibly win this war? It is only when we stand apart that we can see the deceiving Maya at play. Only Ramalinga Adigal managed to cross over, turned to look over his shoulders from beyond, and seeing the flaws and the hold of Maya shared this in his Arutpa singing that even the Siddhas had not attained this state. As is said that God helps those who help themselves and that the Siddhas wait outside patiently for us to let them in, and if Lord Siva came in a dream in 1988 and brought instant relief to the pain and sadness I carried since 1980 in not understanding how God who was to be all loving and compassionate could bring harm to his children, now I desperately need Arutperunjothi to pull me out of this whirlpool of Maya before I turn cuckoo. They are all having a field day at our expense. Or is it so? Where do we exist without them? 

THE GAME

I just finished watching the movie "CTRL". It is unnerving and scary to think about the extent of Artificial Intelligence or AI and what it can do. Earlier we were shown in a news commentary how AI was used to find and target civilians in an ongoing war. It was horrendous. My daughter tells me that AI can assemble our faces and create new portraits and pieces of art showing off its artistic abilities too. Currently, we are seeing an onslaught of videos and comments on many current issues on social media that have turned and become ugly.

I had to deactivate all my accounts after a photo of my first guru Supramania Swami that I posted on my websites in the beginning years of my search and journey, was uploaded on social media by a friend which invited an ugly remark, that made me take this decision. When I conveyed this to Tavayogi he asked me, "Why son? Let it be". I took his remark positively, reactivated these accounts, and began to post and upload afresh whatever I had brought down. 

As I was going about my home puja, Agathiyar brought strangers to my door. Soon they opened up cans of worms. In our willingness to listen and eagerness to help, this brought me and my family hardship, as at times Agathiyar took things into his own hands. Begging him to spare us as we were not keen to become healers or soothsayers, he did stop for some time. But one day as I stood before him, he asked me where would I go if he shut his ears? He told me that they were there for a reason and that it was his duty to help, heal, and bring solace to their hurt souls. He told us that he was only using us and our venue and that no harm would come to us. We gave in and strangers walked in and the healing continued. In 2018 Lord Muruga too said the same asking us to step aside and watch their play or lila. We did as told and all "heaven" broke loose. 

In later years Agathiyar began to send several youths over and my home became Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). We began to bring our home puja into the temples. We began charity. In the wake of the pandemic in 2019, Agathiyar had us wind up and call it a day. He had me go within giving certain practices. In 2022 he told me that an internal journey of awakening had begun in 2007, after I put into practice the Asana and Pranayama practices that Tavayogi taught us, and that there was no further need for any effort on my part. The energies would do their work he said. Lord Muruga came to tell me to be still and do nothing. Recently he asks that I observe the silence that prevails in the breath. 

If in carrying out the worship of the Siddhas we bridged both worlds and began to have visitations from the deities and the Siddhas through devotees; in carrying out the many charity programs, the compassion in us arose. If many consider compassion leading to action, here the move to carry out charity brought on compassion in us. It shows how self-centered we were before Agathiyar gave us these tasks. In practicing Pranayama, we began to connect with our breath and the Prapanjam; when the energies awakened in the Muladhara, it brought much pain and suffering. In the dam bursting and the ponded and stagnated waters gushing and making their way to the Sahasrara, the thousand-petalled lotus bloomed. With these inner transformations taking place, the soul hurts to see much suffering and at the same time rejoices in seeing happy souls and connecting with nature. I seem to connect with others feeling their joy and their pain too but remain truly helpless for Agathiyar and Lord Muruga tell me to do nothing. Lord Shiva tells us to let it be as it is all fated. The body and its components have an expiry date and a shelf life often associated with the number of breaths used up or an underlying Vasanas or Karma. I guess we have to sit and watch the divine play that is least understood. Only they know the game. 

SWAMIMALAI & ITS BRONZE STATUES

Gurus are known to start communes that the public sees as dangerous to society. I would not blame the former for keeping up with certain doctrines that they extend to all those who are keen to follow. Only a few from society take up the call and the cause and follow. They are then included in the following which is often labeled by others as a cult. The concept of a commune takes shape which is seen as a distancing and a mystery. One must understand that this is not compulsory teaching or training as we see in the programs like the National Service held by governments. One out of curiosity enters the commune or is enticed by peers and friends already following the group and its teachings. It is a gathering of like minds. 

This is how Bala Chandran who saw the Nadi was told by Agathiyar to attend the Pornami Puja that I and my family were conducting in our homes back then in 2013. Soon he spread the word about his Nadi reading among his friends and many went for a reading too. Similarly, he shared his visits to my home, besides Agathiyar sending others too. I soon came to accept these strangers who eventually became the Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia or AVM family knowing that no one would stand at the door without Agathiyar's invitation or calling. Previously, seeing my detachment from any of the organizations, movements, and societies that I visited after my Nadi reading in 2002, seeking to know about worship to the Siddhas, Agathiyar sent Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar ashram over to our shores in 2005 and the latter took me in as his student.

Agathiyar tested me if I would be ready to let go of AVM, the respect, and the honor that came with it. In 2019, he had me wind up this group and called me to go within. Agathiyar who wanted me to build a temple for him in my first Nadi reading, and Lord Murugan who joined the wagon asking one for him in 2018, seeing my reluctance in engaging in this humongous task, told me that they were testing me again. Agathiyar builds and breaks it too, just as Goddess Kali in reply to Swami Vivekananda's cry for answers upon seeing temples demolished, saying that this too was her work. 

Similarly in testing me further, he had me part with his bronze statue in 2022 that had become a part of my family and household name since 2nd January 2010. Agathiyar had called me to have his bronze statue in the likes of his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli made in Swamimalai, and placed at the Sri Jegathguru Raghavendra Mritiga Brindavanam in Ipoh which was being built by my brother-in-law. On 8 January 2009, Agathiyar gave me specific instructions on how his statue was to be made at Swamimalai and brought over to my home first before moving to the Brindavanam. As Agathiyar was to be in the form at Agasthiyampalli, I could not buy his statue off the shelf. I had to commission it. After failing to locate people who could assist me, I searched the net and e-mailed 13 manufacturers in and around Swamimalai and Kumbakonam. Through Agathiyar's grace, Varadaraj of the Bronze Creative at Swamimalai offered to have Agathiyar done as specified. Among the conditions he laid was that he was to be made in the form he presided at Agasthiyampalli (Thirumaraikaadu), Vedaranyam; he was not to exceed 1 foot in height; he was to be made at Swamimalai; work on him had to start in the Tamil month of Thai and Maasi of  2009; libation or abhisegam and prayers done on him at the Adhi Kumbeshwarar temple at Kumbakonam and only then shipped to Malaysia; on arrival in Malaysia, Nava Abhisegam was to be conducted followed by chanting his name (Aum Agathisaya Nama) 100,000 times.

Why a replica of his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli? Agathiyar says that he is seated in a meditative posture at Agasthiyampalli, engrossed in watching and admiring the beauty of the occasion of the marriage or the Tiru Kalyana Kolam of Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvathi taking place in Kailash. Dr VM Jayapalan while in meditation was given the story of the origin of this temple, which happens to be the very first temple for Agathiyar in this Kali Yuga.

On completion of the Brindavanam and awaiting its consecration on 12.6.2013, my thoughts at that moment were that one could not just lift him off from my home without some sort of proper ritual to honor the move. As he had not delivered another reading to authorize my next move, I took it upon myself to inform the Brindavanam that as Agathiyar had not spoken I was not sending him over. Almost immediately a devotee volunteered to place another bronze Agathiyar at the Brindavanam. I feared that I might have erred in making the decision to keep Agathiyar to myself. But in a Nadi reading on 21.9.2014, after more than a year, Agathiyar to my relief, tells me that he had shelved his plan to go to the Brindavanam and instead decided to remain at my home!

I had always had the thought, why Swamimalai and not somewhere else. Then Rightmantra Sundar in his blog explains why Swamimalai comes to mind when one needs a bronze statue. He says that Swamimalai is preferred for making the temple Urchava Murthis as they are made using age-old traditional methods, the lost wax method of casting, and according to the Agamas. Clay or mud from the riverbanks of Kaveri used by bronze statue creators at Swamimalai is most suitable for making the molds as it captures even the most minute details, revealing even thumbprints! Statues made at Swamimalai are renowned worldwide. The post by Rightmantra Sundar revealed to me then the reason why Agathiyar wanted him to be made at Swamimalai too. Later I came across a couple of well-researched videos explaining the same. 

Then in 2015, Agathiyar revealed that it was the wish of Lord Muruga, Lobha Ma, and Agathiyar himself that he should be made at Swamimalai through Jnana Jyothiamma's Jeeva Nadi reading. Agathiyar explains that it is Lobha Ma's wish that his statues made on the banks of Kaveri (Swamimalai in Tanjai) and blessed by Swamimalai Muruga, should reach places all over the world. Although Agathiyar's image has been depicted in many forms over time, the image of Agathiyar from Swamimalai will eventually be his identity and worshiped the world over. Lord Muruga himself has conceived this image and blessed each statue made here. He enlightened us on the significance of Swamimalai and the Kaveri River and the reason for Agathiyar to be made in Swamimalai. If Agathiyar says that Kallar hills were a place to shed one's Karma, Swamimalai is the place to come to rid of man's daily problems and worries. His Atma will be purified in Swamimalai. Agathiyar revealed in the Jeeva Nadi later that many miracles will be shown through these statues of Agathiyar. These statues will become "alive". In asking us to give "Life" to his statue Agathiyar had us chant his name 100,000 times. But although the handful of family and friends gathered on 3rd January 2010 to commemorate his arrival and his Jayanthi could only manage 45,000, Agathiyar came in a subsequent Nadi reading telling us that he had accepted it. Agathiyar who revealed that he would perform miracles in and through this Murthy or statue, reiterated that a miracle had taken place in Jnana Jyothiamma's presence too, reminding us of the miracle he performed in October of 2013, during the libation or Abhisegam. Agathiyar most graciously opened his eyes to bless all those present! My daughter came running down the stairs after the prayer was over, showing us the miracle that was caught on a digital camera. Later Jnana Jothiamma who visited Varadaraj wrote to me.

At Varadharaj's factory ... Creative Bronze... Thimapalayam ... Swamimalai. 

"And Finally the show stoppers. Varadharaj and his brother Cheenu ..... the two creative geniuses of 'CREATIVE BRONZE". The Architects/Artists/Sculptors behind the carving and making of Agathiyan at your temple, Shan. "AMAZING GRACE." Cheenu narrated to me, as to how he went to Agasthiyapalli, studied the Murthy of Agathiyan there. Sketched it as per the instructions given by you to Varadharaj .... and how they went about finishing Agathiyar's murthy which now sits majestically at your temple ... AGATHIYAR VANAM."

The 5 metals that originated from the earth, that was heated up by the fire element and poured into the mould made of river mud that originated out of the earth and water element, elevating these elements to the status of Agathiyar, brought forth a wonderful and beautiful replica of Agathiyar's statue at Agasthiyampalli that today is housed at AVM. The mud from the river banks of Kaveri at Swamimalai that was used to encase the wax figurine, and the hot molten metal that was poured into the mold giving birth to the bronze statue that came to be cast, gained a status to be worshipped as Agathiyar. By performing rituals on it for the past 14 years the metal became Agathiyar in our eyes. It became alive and opened its eyes. Today he watches every activity from his small room at AVM. 

After Agathiyar's arrival, Varadaraj made 10 more statues for Malaysian devotees. He soon set off to make the gigantic statue of Lord Nadarajah standing at a total height of 23 ft, (his statue at 17 ft, and the Peedam at 6 ft) that Jnana Jothiamma and Bala Chandran had an opportunity to witness its making. She wrote to me saying, 

"I feel so blessed. Agathiyan has made me complete. To be able to touch the "Murthy of Lord Shiva. When I asked Varadharaj if he allowed the public inside to view this ... he replied that they do not and will not allow a single person to enter this place, apart from his assistants who work on this project. I was moved to tears when he said that he was waiting to show me this work. 75% of the casting work has been done. Varadharaj says that everything will be completed in 5/6 months' time."

Recently I came across a video where another magnificent and gigantic statue of Lord Nadarajah that surpassed the one Varadaraj did and that was commissioned by the Prime Minister of India and placed at the G20 Bharat Mandapam in Delhi. This 27 ft tall statue was made by another renowned Stapati from Swamimalai. The Stapati says the same of the reasons why Swamimalai is renowned for its bronze statues. It is truly amazing watching the process of bringing to life this magnificent work of art. 

GRACE

It is truly sad that sex and slander ride high on social media these days. All the more if it involves spiritual personalities. Walking the spiritual path is akin to balancing on a tightrope or walking on a sword. All the saints of the past have been lured by Maya at this critical phase in their lives. If Maya came in our youth and prime years before, she makes another attempt later as one steps into the spiritual ways after gathering precious lessons from experiences gained in worldly and material life. One has to be more careful now all the more when everyone knows us or if we are a public figure. If our weaknesses are accepted or brushed aside as part of growing up which is a learning curve where we made right and wrong decisions back then, now it cannot be condoned for a spiritual man is expected to have won over all desires and wants and stand aloof from the world and its lure. I guess it is pretty difficult to live up to the mark of those like the Nayanmars, Siddhas, and Buddha.

What comes easy is easily lost too. These days we see everyone being initiated, instantaneously bringing them to experience great powers within, not considering their health issues and other concerns. I guess this is modern-day spiritualism, as opposed to the orthodox ways of Tavayogi who told me that one would be fully tested before he is showered with the grace of the Siddhas and comes by the ability to perform Siddhis. The caution shown is justified as we do not want the one who displays these powers to take on Karma or those receiving them to be hurt in the process. I am glad I came by a couple of wonderful and responsible gurus who took their time in knowing me before passing on their teachings and practices. Agathiyar came along after their demise to care for us further. What else could one ask for? I pray that they stay with me till my last days. I pray that I do not slip and fall on my face and fall from grace and bring disgrace to the Siddhas and my gurus.

DOING JUSTICE

A sound soul in a sound body. This is what we should achieve while we are here. Learn to respect and worship our body because many things are happening within it that are beyond our control. We can plant crops to feed us and water them. What takes place after that is beyond our powers. Similarly, we can only bring this food into our mouths. From thereon, many things take place that are beyond our reach and understanding of a commoner though science has defined and explained the process breaking them down into phases as ingestion, digestion, absorption, assimilation, and egestion, etc. Similarly, the miracle of conceiving is also beyond our efforts. Our effort ends in the couple coming together. The rest is determined by nature and the laws that govern it. 

It is pretty obvious that I, Shanmugam Avadaiyappa, can only perform to a certain stage or limit. Nature then takes its course. How is the course determined? Why does nature's law act and vary in numerous ways according to each individual and is not the same for everyone? Call it God, Nature, Prapanjam, or Consciousness, all these are but labels and tags, names given to help us identify with what we are talking about, for otherwise how would you make sense of what I am talking about, speaking, or writing about. We would be clueless. But when there is a term given for each phenomenon or happening we can quickly relate to what is spoken about. Imagine mankind before there was language and the spoken word. How would he have communicated what he intended to share? How would he have shared his experiences, adventure, and journey? But these very words that helped us all these while have come to confuse us later. So was I confused when many used the words spirit and soul, Uyir and Atma interchangeably. Agathiyar came to clear the air through a memo moving Mahindren to write it out and share it with me and readers. Here again Agathiyar in explaining the Udal or body, Uyir or breath, and Atma or Soul, gave us an insight into the process of conceiving. Similarly, when so many incredible translations and additions came along the way while we walked the path, from so many parties confusing us further, Agathiyar came through another memo that he had me write and share with viewers and readers explaining the path in very simple terms. We are grateful to Agathiyar for clarifying and pulling us out of the turpid waters that clouded, polluted, and diluted their true teachings. 

I had once blamed God for man's suffering. But he had me drop all my questions to a later date for he waited on me to gain maturity in thinking and prepare myself to receive his teachings. Meanwhile, he emptied me of all the readings, discussions, and confusions that came about as a result of this, making me an empty vessel to be filled by his teachings that were to come through the Siddhas some 14 years later. Today he has educated me well showing me in all ways possible that he has nothing to do with all these. We have charted the cause that is generally irreversible unless the Siddhas come into our lives. It is the Siddhas who, overflowing with love and compassion, and not able to see the sufferings of fellow humans and creation took it up with the Almighty asking to change man's fate and help him draw up a new destiny. Besides carrying past Karma we carry unfulfilled desires and wants, likes and dislikes and to top it all up each moment we give birth to new desires and wants. If we regret and wish that we should have acted differently, immediately it is registered as a new desire and we have to live to see it through too. This might lead us to take yet another birth if it is not satisfied in this birth. A desire of another too shall lead the way for us to take another birth. 

Many think being well-informed makes them spiritual. Mere reading from books and listening to others does not make us a Siddha. He has to live the way of a Siddha and practice the methods and means to achieve Siddhahood. He has to come under another Siddha to truly learn the path and the means. I was truly blessed to have Agathiyar send me Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram. I believe that I have done justice to them both. After all the practice, just as in cultivating and eating, as Agathiyar and Lord Muruga say there is nothing further to do, it is now the moment to step aside and watch the wonder that unfolds and goes on within us. 

THE DOOR

Where is peace and quiet? It is right under our noses. Yes, it is in the breath. One who begins to observe the breath finds all his troubles settled. He settles in himself. Nothing matters. To end this birth cycle, one has to come to terms with life, accept all that happens, and go with the flow. This has been told and retold countless times by the many saints, gurus, and masters. Following their stories and teachings, we can find this common denominator among them. The answer to life's complicated math problem is indeed very simple. The door is right before us. We just need to take our next footstep. Once we enter the door we would not want to return to our old ways, for the truth is known. This door divides light from darkness, knowing from ignorance, truth from false, and real from Maya. We have arrived. 

All our problems are of our makings. We need not toil in the heat to farm and produce produce. It is all available at the push of a button and delivered to our doorsteps. We need not walk the distance to buy ourselves breakfast, lunch, or dinner. These too are delivered to our door. We remain couped up behind these doors and do what interests us most. One fine day we find that all is not well with our health. A thought or an opinion materializes too. If we believe that our children shall not take care of us in our old age, the Prapanjam hears and puts together the stage for us to experience and know the truth. A parent might become ill and need continuous supervision hence proving to them that what they opinionated was wrong. A disappointment could summon another moment where we have to go through an event again to see through our desire. Thoughts indeed are powerful. Then comes the verbal speech. If both can be shed, what lingers is silence both in thought and speech. We then have arrived at the beginning, at the very moment before creation begins. 

BRINGING THEM BACK HOME

Life is truly a mystery. A soul the Atma that left home to roam the worlds shaping a body and the Tatvas to seek experiences eventually returns to the ParamAtma satisfied and complete. It comes to join other souls in a household, teams up with other souls in growing up, teams up with a life partner, bringing an opportunity for other souls to arrive in this world, stays as a caretaker and guide before setting these souls free to discover life and learn from experiences too. It eventually prepares to leave and start another journey anew. It is a never-ending story until a guru steps in and helps it break the chain. The guru rids the ego and frees the soul held captive or in some, the soul regains the throne and sends the ego into exile and dictates the path henceforth. A new phase starts when the entity realizes its true self and arrives home. All the souls that made it there rejoice in having another soul join it. This is what the Siddhas are trying pretty hard, to bring us who have gone astray back home. Taking up Pranayama, one awakens and energizes the Chakras. The potent potential energy Kundalini Sakti coiled up is unleashed and turns kinetic and travels the path to sainthood knocking on the doors of the numerous deities in the Chakras and finally reaching the summit where the dance of Siva and Sakti begins, their love for each other blossoming into the 1000 petal lotus that keeps opening up its petals. We have arrived home. I can sense the happiness in Agathiyar each time he is around us. He is happy that we have arrived home. He wants us to bring others to the path from where he shall lead them. Our duty is to have them board the ship and he shall sail them to the promised land. Then we have satisfied the 5 tenets that Agathiyar drafted for mankind. 

Ramalinga Adigal depicts this in his song "Aani Pon Ambalathey" beautifully. Literally, the verses describe a journey that Adigal took on the physical and mystical planes. He describes coming upon a Hill, and a Path opening up to it. "As I walked on the Path, there was a Platform. I climbed the Platform. There was a Room. As I approached the Room, there was a 7-tier Hall above it. I cannot bring myself to narrate what I saw in these 7 tiers. In one tier, the silver Pearl transformed into Blue Sapphire (Neelam), in another tier, the Blue Sapphire became Coral (Pavalam). In another tier, the Emerald (Maragatham) became Ruby (Maanikkam). Yet in another tier, it became a Pearl, and back to Coral in another tier. Then on another tier, the gems became Gold. All these gems became Spadigams in yet another tier. Above these 7 tiers, there was a staff. Climbing the staff, what can I say of that which I saw. There were thousands of Sakthis everywhere, who came to entice me but I remained undeterred and strong due to the Divine Grace. Due to His Grace, I saw the Jewel of the Crown. I saw a Peak atop the Crown, above this there were 1008 Temples. As I entered through the Arch at the Temple without hesitation, within the Entrance there stood both Sakthis and Saktas in millions. They began to question who was this trespasser, as I moved on. At another Entrance there stood Five, the others showed the Way, yet to another Doorway. As I entered, a male and a female showed me to yet another Doorway. At the Doorway my Mother the Goddess Anandha Valli stood to welcome me. I saw her, submitted to her Grace, and partook in the Divine Nectar. With her grace, I saw my father's Abode. I stepped into his Abode. Who could possibly understand the Gift I was showered by my father Lord Nadarajah."

SAMADHI

Life starts with the first breath and ends with the last. Along the way, we forget the breath as it comes and leaves without our effort. But one day we find difficulty in breathing and fear sets in. The fear of death. At that moment we begin to associate breath with life and living. Returning from the moment of horror we begin to pay attention to our body. Then we are introduced to Yoga which is a comprehensive practice that revitalizes the body, breath, and soul, we are told. As a Sadhaka on the path of Yoga, through certain practices, we begin to enhance, improve, and increase our breathing capacity and quality. We begin to gain control of the breath, switch it, and stop it momentarily. We notice a great change go through us and an internal transformation takes place. Soon we are asked to go within and observe it. Finally, we are told to observe the silence, quietitude, and peace within the breath. We settle in it. That is Samadhi, the state of being one with the source. Life sustains in the body as long as we choose then. The soul that engineered the body and brought in the breath and life within, rejoices within, glows, and illuminates as the Jothi or Effulgence in us.

A DOOR INTO THE NEW WORLD

My daughter writes further,

Calling back to the Agent of Asgard comic series I have shared about before, Loki rebrands himself from the 'God of Mischief and Chaos' into the 'God of Stories'. Had it not been for him causing trouble and havoc wherever he went, other heroes would not have risen to the occasion to fight him and build their legacy. He made it his duty to protect these stories, without which the universe would not exist. In the process, he also took charge of his own story. As the current universe comes to an end during Ragnarok (the Norse version of the last battle of the Kali Yuga, which would bring about the rebirth of Asgard, or Satya Yuga), Loki declares he needs a break from the destruction of the universe and decides to skip ahead to the reborn universe. He brings along the stories of the Avengers and Asgardian Gods, as well as his best friend, so that he can release them into the young universe, and that they may continue to exist there too. He time-jumps by simply drawing a door labeled 'Next' and walking right through it. And thus, the comic series abruptly ends on a cliffhanger.

Does this story not ring a bell? Do we not see some similarities between our Puranas and the worlds beyond. It is all about a door. We have arches to indicate the entrance to a compound, a park, a village, a temple, etc that divides space. Space that is vast and beyond is segmented into portions by building compound walls and having an arch. So too does the homes or offices have a door to enter into and leave. Just like we adorn different clothing for the season, adorned different roles in life, the moment we walk through an arch or door into another space we are transformed as we meet different people and tune in with their lives. Ramlinga Adigal too is said to have in his final days walked into a room and had the door shut. All these years we were made to believe that he had disappeared having us believe that the door was opened and what met the eyes was an empty room. A grandson of one living right next door to the hut Ramalinga Adigal had pitched during his stay at Methukuppam says otherwise. One had yet to enter the hut for all means to do so ended in failure. For all we know Ramalinga Adigal may not have disappeared into thin air. He might be in Samadhi sitting in this room to this day. 

Our body besides the many pores in the skin has nine openings. It is compartmentalized too just as a home. Just as a fish or a frog only knows its world we too are limited by the body and its faculties. Yogi Ramsuratkumar in passing says that he could do more in the subtle world. Agathiyar tells us that Tavayogi was not available to lead us as he did while alive as he had chores to carry out in their world. Supramania Swami who closed up the window of his hut from where he had a beautiful view of Arunachala Hill, told me that he could not see it for it was then a fiery hill. He mentioned having seen Siddhas, Munis, and Rishis, going about their chores. 

The world is not what we have been led to believe and see. There is much more. Just as my daughter, her children, and I were preparing to leave after the Yoga session at AVM yesterday morning, I walked into the prayer room of Mahindren and stood before his altar thanking Agathiyar for a wonderful day and session, Agathiyar immediately materialized through Mahindren standing at the doorway and gave such a wonderful laugh asking if I was overjoyed. Indeed I was. Agathiyar sensed my joy and came immediately. It is as if there is no longer a divide between the two worlds. There are no longer bridges that span the worlds and that need to be crossed over. It is an instantaneous manifestation of the divine energies taking the existing forms of people we know and around us at these moments to deliver their message.  

PARAM

From a recent video interview I saw I have come to understand how the many forms and images we took up in worshiping Gods came by. In telling the story of Karupanasamy we learn that he was born as one of the sons of King Rama. Pious and holy he was sent to the south to defeat the Asuras who were creating havoc. As such he had to become one of them to battle at par and defeat them. He began to consume meat and liquor. Upon defeating them he returned north and went back to his usual life. But people began to hold him in high esteem and reverence and worship him in the form or Avatar that he took to defeat their the Asuras. Hence we see Lord Siva, Lord Muruga, Goddess Ma, and other Gods take up arms. We see people worshipping Gods with arms holding arms.

Puranas, parables, and stories aside, the true story is one of reforming and transforming oneself into the image of these Gods. God is equated to love and compassion. This is what Ramalinga Adigal strived to inject into people. While he took these tools to the common man, the Siddhas groomed some to transform themselves into a state of a teacher or gurus and share their experiences and practices with others willing to change. The Siddhas in initiating us into rituals bring us to take the first step and step out of the customary form of worship adopted by the general public. In the Siddha path, one could do his own rituals to the Gods without a mediator. Undergoing the numerous processes required to bring these changes externally, one delves into bringing the required changes internally too. Soon they bring us to Yoga and its many facets. They have us acknowledge that the breath is like a wild horse and needs to be tame just as our desires, wishes, aspirations, appetite, perspectives, and understanding all need to be revolutionized. Eventually, the breath learns to settle down. It is tamed by doing Pranayama. It quietens down. We are asked to observe the silence that prevails in the breath. From engaging in activities of the world we travel inwards to experience the flowering that takes place. We begin to engage in the moment. We rest in peace. We remain still. We do not cause ripples. We become the Watcher and not the Doer. We remain as It Is. We are That before the evolution began. We are Param.

YOGA WITH THE KIDS

The New AVM under Mahindren took to teaching simple warm-up exercises and Pranayama to the AVM kids this morning after the initial start last Pornami where a Homam was conducted by these kids. Agathiyar came later and asked me if I was overjoyed at this new move which I was indeed for it was the wish and desire of both Agathiyar and Tavayogi that AVM should flourish. In return, I asked him if his wish and that of Tavayogi were fulfilled, and he replied that it was being fulfilled indicating that there is much to take place in the future. I am confident that Mahindren can steer AVM now to greater heights. Agathiyar indicated that he was not interested in numbers and said that even if only four were present or gathered, to proceed and continue these events. 

As for me, he asked that I observe the silence in the breath. Such a powerful practice. I can already feel it. As it is the breath settles on its own these days. When Ramalinga Adigal came the very first time through a devotee, I and another devotee had to hold on to him for he was physically elevated, his feet off the ground. We had to hold him back to the ground. Then whenever the divine energies came within we struggled to stay put as we were lifted. These days it just happens unexpectedly. 

After Agathiyar left Lord Muruga came to hug us all. He diagnosed and healed my daughter too. We are truly blessed. 

THE GURU

We cheat ourselves. We give all the reasons to keep doing things according to our desires. We forego many teachings of the wise. We sought happiness outside at the expense of others. We don't even think about the consequences of our actions when young. But when problems crop up due to our earlier actions, or age catches up with us or health deteriorates, we seek solutions and help. When the ego falters we look for a guide. The soul that brought us into existence and that was later kept captive comes to our aid. Gnanam dawns at our deathbed. 

But for one who comes to see that life and all of creation is Maya, unreal he seeks to know the real. He knows that the genuine gurus have broken the code and are at peace with themselves, getting rid of their desires, their Karma, and even their thoughts. He seeks to meet one. 

Then some are jolted out of their dream and reminded of their true self in uncanny ways. 

But each shall arrive there in due time. It took me crores of years to arrive here says Agathiyar and adds that he had been with me all these years. Agathiyar in coming to us laments that we have not woken up from our slumber even after all these years. They come as reminders in many ways but the lure of Maya is too strong. The only way to beat Maya is to take the hands of the Divine. The Divine shall then come as a guru. 

In coming to the guru, half the battle is won. The merits from his long years of austerities and Tavam and Tapas kickstart our journey placing us on a higher rung of the ladder. By listening to him and putting into practice what is given or taught one sails through the rapids that come with the flowing of the river of life.

ONE WITH NATURE

There is a Malay saying "Dengar guruh di langit air tempayan dicurahkan" which means upon hearing the thunder one empties the bucket of water collected earlier (in anticipation of a downpour). But most of the time it wind blows away the clouds. I too seeing the first few drops of rain fall and the dark clouds in the sky emptied the buckets of rain water I had collected previously to wash my patio. But strong winds are blowing away the rain. We see this sad happening in the movie "Lagaan" where the whole village celebrates seeing the dark clouds gather and the first few drops of rain come down. But the wind blows it away. Nature has become so unpredictable. If I could engage with my surroundings and the vegetation earlier feeling their joy in the breeze and the caressing wind, the rays of the sun touching the skin, and the coolness of rain showers, now I can feel the joy in others and the pain too. I am continuously looking for and asking that I be given an opportunity to help another. Today after sending my daughter to the MRT station I stopped at a vegetarian restaurant to have my brunch. A family of elders and children came to share the table. I saw the 7-year-old girl bring along a drawing pad and pencil and showed her grandma something she had drawn. I told her that I could draw too and asked for the pad and pencil I drew her portrait and she was overjoyed. I asked her to give me stars and she did give me five. Her elder 8-year-old sibling began to add more stars. This little girl seeing that I had missed out drawing her pupils added them on. His father turned to me and said now she had given life to the drawing. Indeed one's soul is seen through the eyes. Coming out of Bhogar's sannadhi in Palani Tavayogi turned to look at me and there was this twinkle in his eyes. Children always look us in the eyes when speaking. Sadly we adults do not do the same. Agathiyar came to a couple and told them to face each other and look into the eyes. I guess only then can the Arrow of Love or Manmathan Ambu be drawn by the Angel of Love and pierce each other's hearts. I guess this magic was missing in this married couple. 

The rain has gone away and the sun has appeared back. That is nature, very much unpredictable. Balamurugan who journeyed to Mount Kailash in 2011 was blessed to touch the face of Mount Kailash. His guide told him that he too had the opportunity to do so after traveling so many times there. Apparently, the snowfall was heavy and had covered the ravines and trenches surrounding the outcrop and made it accessible for them to move up and close to its face and stroke it.  

A part of my parents and the whole ancestry lives in me. If God is the breath traversing in us he lives in me momentarily. The idea as Tavayogi mentions is to prolong his stay and make him stay longer. The one who has contained his breath in him is said to be in the state of Samadhi. 

THOSE WHO HELPED SHAPE ME

The Siddha comes into our lives in mysterious ways. Going through my life and the timeline and markers that stood out as teachings, experiences, and lessons, it is a wonder that all these took place in the life of a commoner. But there were pertinent points that Agathiyar and the other Siddhas, Lord Murugan, Lord Siva, Goddess Ma, Supramania Swami, and Tavayogi wanted to make known. 

This timeline can be split into several phases.

1959 - 1976 was the period when I was with my family going about what every kid would do in those days when technology was in its infancy too. Besides going to a missionary school, I picked up some Thevaram songs from a teacher from Ceylon who home-tutored me and my pals. I attended the class partly because my friend's parents had arranged for it and I joined them wanting to spend more time together. We had more fun than paying attention to the master then. I picked up learning to read and write Tamil from my cousin sister Miss Indrani who was a Tamil teacher in my school and several other masters, namely Mr Arasu, and Mr V. Raman, later. I followed what my parents did when it came to worship, going to temples, and praying at our home altar. But a near-death episode in my life as an infant prompted my parents to bring me to my neighbor's home. He was a Chinese Shaman. Having lost two children to diarrhea earlier they sought divine help to save me. I was saved on condition that my parents gave me in adoption to the Chinese Gods. A deal was sealed for life that day and I am still alive to write this piece today.

1977 - 1979 were days when I went to college, learning to step into the shoes of a man, and making my own decisions. Nothing much changed with regard to my faith and worship. But the timid and shy boy who did everything others said to please them learned to say "No" after reading a book from his college library. I cannot remember the book nor its title but it did change me henceforth. This boy now had a mind of his own.

1980 - 1988 were the days when I joined the service in the coastal town of Lumut and aggressively took up home puja at dawn and dusk, singing tons of songs praising the Gods. I began to read a lot too. But what was mentioned in the scriptures and what I saw in real life differed. God did not seem compassionate and loving to his devotees and instead made them suffer, nay was the very cause of their sufferings too, I deduced from what I saw. Why did God make people suffer? I needed answers. I needed to know the truth. This is when Lord Shiva comes in a dream asking me to put off my questions to a later date. I left it all behind and was transferred back to Kuala Lumpur to help me forget everything. 

1989 - 2000 I married and raised a family. My knowledge bank was wiped clean in these years. There was no input either. It was a phase of clearing the house of all read, and seen.

2001 Something unusual took place. My nephew dropped in one Saturday afternoon telling me that he had a message for me and not to question the source. I receive the Vasudeva mantra. He tells me that it shall pave the way for me to meet my guru.

2002 - 2004 Something happened out of the blue. My colleague Murali Saminathan shares his experience in reading the Nadi two years back in 2000. It rekindled the Nadi being mentioned by Dr. Krishnan, a medical astrologer, and Siddha physician with whom I became acquainted through another colleague Mr Sethu. Dr. Krishnan who had charted my horoscope had mentioned the Siddhas, their Nadi, and the curses that complicate matters and prevent one from reaping the benefits as foretold in the stars. But it did not create a wave in me to seek the Siddhas and their Nadi then in 1996. But when Murali brought up the subject I asked if any readers were around. He did a quick check and I found myself standing before Senthilkumar of Avinashi who was then in Malaysia. Agathiyar came into my life that day or so I thought. It was only later that I came to know from my nephew that the Vasudeva mantra I received a year earlier was from him. Agathiyar called me to the path and the worship of the Siddhas in the Nadi. A new journey began that took me to places, hungry to know more about Siddha worship. But since none satisfied my hunger pangs I took it upon myself to continue with whatever little I knew and had on hand. If Senthilkumar gave me a booklet containing the names of Siddhas to be recited published by Sri Agathiyar Gnana Peedham in Kallar, India, (which I would come to know later), a leaflet sourcing donations to build a temple for Agathiyar by Thaiveedu Thangarasan M.A in this place (who would turn out to be my guru later), and Sivabalan who brought the Nadi readers passing me a painting of Agathiyar to be worshiped, I had my start-up kit and was ready to go. Dr. Krishnan gave me a Yantra and the Mantra to worship and chant after I shared with him that Agathiyar had asked me to come to the worship of the Siddhas. I soon expanded my worship with materials that I sourced from books and the net. 

2005 - 2024 I took the leaflet that was given to me by Senthilkumar which I had kept in a safe place to meet Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal who was in Malaysia to officiate a local chapter of his Sri Agathiyar Gnana Peedham asking if the name on the leaflet Thaiveedu Thangarasan M.A and him were the same. I hit the jackpot that day. I found another guru besides Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai who took me in as his disciple and son on my earlier visit to India in 2003. 

There was no turning back after that. The tsunami that was set in motion after taking up the call to come to the Siddhas and their worship washed away the past and cleared the way for a new future. The Siddhas slowly took possession of me, my family, and my home. Agathiyar came in the form of a bronze statue commissioned and made to order in Swamimalai as per his instructions in the Nadi in 2010. Life was given to it by chanting his name some 45,000 times. He opened his eyes in this statue in 2013 just as he did in his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli in 2005. He brought youths over, the same year and we carried on puja and charity. My home took on the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). At the peak of its glory, Agathiyar pulled the rug off our feet. He had me go within. The pandemic that raised its hood did the rest freezing all our activities and having each one of us care for himself and his family's safety. When things were back to normal Agathiyar moved us into the next phase, bringing us out of Sariyai and Kriyai into Yogam, and having me teach Pranayama and Asana techniques that Tavayogi had shown me back then in 2007 to Mahindren who taught the rest. There was no turning back after that. The tsunami that was set in motion after taking up the Yogic practice in 2007 washed away the rubbish and cleared the way for a new journey of transformation within. In 2022 he showed me the flowering, a result of this Yoga practice, that was in full bloom. Agathiyar and Lord Murugan told me that it was time to let go of all practices and efforts and watch the magic in me take place. Coming to us through his devotees subsequently, there was rapid fire from him that created chaos and confusion for many. When he seized fire some days ago it slowly dawned on me that he had churned the Ocean and stirred up the underlying Maya in all things, consumed its poison, bringing on and delivering the Amirtham or clarity to us distilled and pure. Like a shadow cabinet, Maya is in all of creation. Agathiyar and Lord Murugan told me to be on the watch-out and to learn to look through it and differentiate. They kept reminding me during these numerous moments of turmoil not to fall for the beauty and magnificence of Maya. Maya is akin to Genie in the Magic Lamp. They prevented me from falling into its grip. I remembered then that all saints had to battle with Maya eventually before becoming Enlightened. I tend to understand the songs of the Siddhas better now after having these experiences. The Siddhas helped me see through Maya something that Tavayogi had already mentioned the day he set foot in my home in 2005.