Coming to the path of the Siddhas, I started dwelling into the pages of books upon books on Siddhas trying to find them there in these pages. They were not to be found in them. They only spoke about the past, pushing them even deeper into history that bordered on myths and legends, where it was no more distinguishable as to which was which or what was what. It was a very vague picture and painting of the existence of Siddhas as their literature and songs were said to be heavily shrouded with tricky words or paripasai. Then Tavayogi came to take me away from the books into the real world, taking me on a physical journey, walking the physical plane in search of proof of the existence of the Siddhas. It was truly an enlightening exercise in getting to know the Siddhas and their abodes and their story. I was amazed to see miracles take place and shown to me in a bid to convince me of their presence.
Coming back from this adventure in the ashrams, caves, and jungles in India, and as I continued on my own, executing all the directives given by Tavayogi and Agathiyar in the Nadi, there was simultaneously an internal journey taking place as I progressed on the path of the Siddhas. Besides bringing me to their abodes and temples, they also brought me to a variant dimension or plane that I could not make out or understand most of the time. All this while in these pages, I have shared this external journey that many have benefited from, but I too like many others before me have kept my internal journey under wraps for fear that it would be ridiculed or wrongly understood as blowing one's horns. But Ramalinga Adigal literally did that as expounded in all his songs, not that he was egoist about his achievements and his standing in society but to tell us that it was equally possible for us too to gain the grace and blessings of the divine and reach an equally elevated standing as he did. It was a genuine call from him to join him and his path, just as Agathiyar invited me to his path.
After my return from my maiden pilgrimage of India, having done my parikaram or remedies for past faults and karma, and after having met Supramania Swami quite unexpectedly following a series of unprecedented events and a play of moving the dices by the mysterious hand of the divine, a couple of years later in 2005, I was driven to meet Tavayogi in Malaysia. Soon a journey of a different kind took place, one that was closer to home, my heart and the self. It was now the soul that was responding to his call.
- While at the Tiruvanaikaval temple in Trichy, the priest from Utamar temple who volunteered to accompany me there, brought me to Lord Dhakshanamurthy's sannadhi. I broke down and cried and cried and cried uncontrollably. I did not know why I broke down.
- When I was at the Ekambareswarar Temple in Kanchipuram, I was mysteriously invited into Lord Nadarajah's chamber where I shed tears of joy that came on automatically seeing the majesty and beauty of my Lord.
- Then when I was in the presence of Supramania Swami in his village home and as he revealed about me without charting my horoscope although he was an astrologer, I cried silently for the duration of our sitting, 5 solid hours till dusk. This time it was tears of joy and gratefulness to the divine in seeing me through and all the blessings he showered on me till that moment.
- Two years later, as I bid farewell to Tavayogi, having verified that a leaflet given to me in 2002 by the Nadi Guru Senthilkumar after my Nadi reading carried his name and intent on building a temple cum ashram for Agathiyar in Kallar, was indeed his, I fell at Tavayogi's feet. He moved back and told me never to do that, but instead fall at the feet of Agathiyar, pointing me to a pair of wooden sandals or padhugai, a representation of the feet of the guru to be worshiped and adored in Indian tradition. Until then I did not see it. Neither did I notice what was around the room in which we sat and spoke. The moment I touched the wooden sandal as Tavayogi told me to do so, I broke into tears and began crying aloud for reasons I could not comprehend then. It was not that I wanted to cry but it happened spontaneously. The cry came from within without my control or me initiating it. I cried my heart out.
- Later in 2010, when I was with Tavayogi at an affiliate Peedham of his in Seri Gombak, and as I stood in line with the other devotees to get his blessings, and just as I got on my knees in front of him, there was a sudden burst of laughter and joy that overcame me. Simultaneously he went into a state of laughter and cry too. I did not understand neither his action nor mine. Surprisingly nobody took notice of what had just happened. Later as I drove him to Bukit Rotan to visit a new temple that was under construction, I asked him what had taken place that day. He immediately hushed me looking back to the guide who was drowsing away in the back seat. I never got the answer.
- Then this unintentional cry became quite regular as it happened in the places of worship that I visited. As I stood with my family at the Sri Jeganathar Sivalayam in Tapah, I was overcome by emotion and cried for reasons I do not know. Again surprisingly none of the disciples of the Swamiji who was residing in the temple with his entourage took notice of what was taking place amidst me, my family and Jeganathar.
- When I was with my family at the Sivasubramaniam Alayam, Kampung Kepayang that is housed in a cave, I was again overcome by emotion.
- When my family and I had prayed at the Nattukkottai Chettiar Temple, Penang and stepped out, a man pointed us to the Arulmigu Balathandayuthapani Temple, atop the hill where its temple tower was visible from where we stood. I went into a state of joy on seeing it.
- When my family and I were led by the temple Gurukal of the Sri Siva Shanmugar Temple in Sungai Siput into the cave I went into a spin and was thrown off balance and landed on my back in a ditch amidst the boulders. This was the pinnacle of these show of energy.
But I never prodded or investigated these happenings. I took it in my stride and moved one. Only my family stood witness to these strange happenings. But I guess it was time others took notice of these strange phenomena too for these happenings took place in the presence of AVM family members too.
- When the AVM family went on a tour of spiritual places in Malaysia, I found myself crying in joy at Lord Murugan's sannadhi at the Sivasubramaniam Alayam, Kampung Kepayang again.
- Revisiting Tiruvanaikaval again, this time with my family and Jnana Jhotiamma in 2013, again I was overcome by an emotional outbreak of cry and joy.
- In 2016 as the AVM family made its way to join the festivities for Agathiyar's Guru Puja in Kallar, we stopped over at the Mayuranathar temple in Mayiladuturai. As we sat in the presence of Lord Dhakshanamurthy, Lord Ganesha and Kuthambai Siddhar, I was overcome by a profuse energy that went through me and left me crying in joy. It refused to settle for a long time.
- At the Arulmigu Meenakshi Sundareshwarar Temple, Madurai, I was overcome by emotion sitting at the Sundarananthar Vallabha Siddhar sannadhi while the rest of the AVM family recited the names of the Siddhas.
If all these while the Agathiyar and Siddhas spoke through the medium of the Nadi, we were taken by surprise when they began to come through people. As it took place in our home we begged that they should stop for it was a family home and we did not want word to get out and have the public wait in line to be cured. They stopped - temporarily until we were spiritually mature enough to understand that they were only using certain individuals and our premises to aid, help and heal the prayers of others. As soon as they made me realize this, they started bringing in strangers again and went about their business asking us to watch and witness. Then Lord Murugan came in the Nadi and told me to give way and allow them access and space to do their miracles. That is when we saw the heavens giving way to all the deities, Siddhas and other heavenly beings. That was the pinnacle of these strange happenings.
These miracles happen till these days where we were told by Agathiyar that these were their divine play or lila or Siddhu Vilayaattu that will go one for some time. I was told to watch and witness and learn from it. As I was always his obedient servant, I stepped aside as he had requested.
Although Supramania Swami had displayed acts of Siddhu or Siddhu Vilaiyaattu, Tavayogi never indulged in it though I realized certain miracles were initiated by him. For instance, it was only when he threw his shawl over to me and have me place it on the trestle at the entrance to Agathiyar's sannadhi at Agasthiyampalli before I sat down that Agathiyar opened his eye in the granite statue of his.
These days with Lord Murugan, Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal asking us to go within, they come to guide and advise us on our prayers and Yoga practices, besides occasionally healing the sick and hearing out people's problems.
As I am trying to place things in its correct perspective, figure out and understand all that is happening with my rational and logical mind, and just when I think I have grasped it, thinking that I had acquired answers to these queries and mysteries of life, thinking that I had begun to understand and learn about the mystical Siddhas, I am brought to square one when something else happens and supersedes and overrides all the previous understanding that I held to. Besides this, we are told not to question. Although it looks like a losing battle trying to figure out the Siddhas and their workings, Agathiyar comes to console us that the experience we gain shall serve as an explanation to our questions and bring the necessary clarifications.
This is an entirely different facet of the Siddhas. It is indeed a strange, mysterious and mystical journey. Could all these be possible we ask as we continue to witness their presence among us? To those who pushed the Siddhas back into the pages of history, the story of the Siddhas in the numerous posts of this blog Siddha Heartbeat and another wonderful and informative blog Siththan Arul will prove otherwise that the Siddhas are living and moving among us and come to our aid as and when the need is there.