After taking up the call by Agathiyar, I visited all the organizations linked to Agathiyar's name but none attracted me to stay on. I let it be. I continued with my home puja to the Siddhas reciting their names as shown by the Nadi Guru Senthilkumar. When Agathiyar told me to build a temple for him in the first Nadi reading and Sivabalan coaxed me to build one if I had the means, I began to look towards existing temples to see if they could provide a space for Agathiyar to be installed. None of the temple committees I approached wanted to accommodate my request, turning me down giving various reasons. I let it be.
The years rolled by. 2002, 2003, and in 2004, Supramania Swami whom I met in Tiruvannamalai passed on his wish through my nephew and later spoke to me about his life long wish to build a temple for Lord Muruga. I thought it would be the right thing to see through my guru's vision. It was not important for whom I built a temple but my very participation in it that counts. We went ahead to help him purchase a piece of land nearby his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar's ashram. But in the midst of beginning the construction, a stranger mysteriously drops by at his kudil and questions his motif in building a temple reminding him that he was already on the path of Gnana. Swami dropped the idea and intention. I let it be.
When I made an appointment to meet Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal in Malaysia the following year, I brought along a leaflet that Senthilkumar had passed me during my first reading. Tavayogi confirmed that it was his and the intended temple for Agathiyar was yet to be built. I mentioned to him that Agathiyar had asked me to come to his Siddha path, and Tavayogi pointed me to the local affiliate of his Agathiyar Gnana Peedham in Batu Caves. I frequented the place. But I guess my journey had to be a solo one for Agathiyar who came in the Nadi reading and pointed to this place too, later erased the reading and rewrote it, the moment I took up another initiation from Tavayogi as directed by him the same night. There was no mention of the earlier Peedham. Rather I saw myself journey to Kallar Ashram a month after Tavayogi left for India. Tavayogi took me on a mystical journey to the abodes of the Siddhas in the jungles and caves.
After returning I carried on with the recitation of the names of the Siddhas. Soon Tavayogi told me to carry out the Homam in my home. Agathiyar came in the form of a bronze statue initially meant to be placed at the Sri Raghavendra Mritiga Brindavanam in Ipoh. But he opted to stay put in my house permanently later. I began to carry out libation or abhisegam to his statue. Tavayogi came again to Malaysia and taught us some asanas and pranayama techniques. I learned fast. I was disciplined enough to put into practice whatever I learned. I never sought the results but gave my best in all the tasks given, directed, or instructed. I was pleased to fulfill the wishes of my gurus that became my priority. I did what they said. I guess since I listened and followed that is the reason they kept giving me more tasks, and instructions.
Tavayogi went on to build a temple for Agathiyar in the years ahead and carried out its Kumbabhisegam in 2016, where several members from the AVM family and I attended. I thought that I had played my little part in fulfilling the need to build a temple for Agathiyar through Tavayogi. But the story never ended there. In 2018 Lord Muruga brings up the subject again asking me to build a temple for him through a Nadi reading. As I questioned the need for yet another temple he replied reading my mind that, "Yes I am aware of numerous temples built for me. But what you shall build will be different." I let it be.
From the very start I was not keen on starting a following. I could have put in the word to Tavayogi and he would have been pleased to officiate a branch of his Peedham at my home as many did. Neither did he initiate me to start one. All he told me during the period where many branches of his Peedham were springing up was to preach the teachings of the Siddhas. Period.
I am still learning. Just as you think you understand something, something else crops up and trashes your earlier understanding. I never saw myself as a leader or guru for others. Neither was I a follower of others. I was a lone ranger. It did work well for me. I thought my home puja satisfied my soul and pleased the Siddhas too. Hence when Lord Muruga asked to move I questioned the need as all was well. This small home accommodated the occasional large gathering of his devotees and the occasional traveler too. I who usually scrambled to undertake to carry out the wishes, dictates and commands of the divine never moved to place any effort towards accomplishing it. The reason was I had seen by this time the amount of hardship undergone and the effort needed to bring this idea to reality, watching my brother-in-law build the Sri Raghavendra Mritiga Brindavanam, and seeing Tavayogi and Mataji go through similar hardship in realizing their vision come true. I had lost the steam in seeing through another temple complex built. It doesn't end with building one. It needs to be sustained. For that money and contribution has to be sought, which was not my cup of tea. The best solution would be if it could be self-sustaining - having produce that could be used for the rituals and bring in income for the maintenance, paying off utility bills, etc.
But Lord Muruga wasn't going to let me off so easily. Knowing that I would listen to Agathiyar he sent him to brainwash me into agreeing to take up the task. Agathiyar came within somebody and asked if I would not do it. I remained silent. He told me the reason to move was that my home was too small for the events they had in mind. He then told me that he would do it. I maintained my silence. Later when my wife went up to him, he said the same giving us a time period of 18 months for the venture to complete. But as we moved into the last month of the duration given, I was wondering what happened to this divine proposal? Agathiyar came and told me in September of last year, that I need not move. They had tested me to see if I had desired for it. If I had desired, I would have moved to put in the effort and the divine would have come to my aid in seeing the project launched, and completed. As I had no desire it did not take off.
After this episode, all things changed around us drastically. The AVM and AS group was dismantled bringing worship and charity to minimal. Instead we were all asked to go within. Lord Murugan, Amma, Dhanvantri, Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, Yogi Ramsuratkumar, Supramania Swami, and Tavayogi came to bless and asked us to go within. A new journey has begun. As we begin to explore this new frontier after traveling through Sariyai and Kriyai, we look forward to a more subtle and refine journey of exploration that is deep within the recesses of the body and mine.
I have no regrets in standing my ground. It has resulted in a much blissful journey, one that is beyond words. Having me let go of all the previous tasks and responsibilities shouldered, he has just one remaining task that he wants me to carry on that is writing this blog. Whenever I intend to call it a day and roll down the shutters as I did for the groups on Whatsapp, I either receive a call, mail, or message telling me how someone benefited from these pages. When I made this blog private for I thought I was sharing too much for a public domain, Agathiyar came and directed a devotee to read the blog to understand further. I made it public so that she and others referred by him could follow the posts. When again a couple of days ago I made it private, I myself could not view my blog. It looks like he has his hand in all things concerned with him, driving the reality in us that we are mere tools in his hand, doing his work. It looks like the blog is here to stay. Happy reading.