When a convention held in 2007 ended with a commotion as a result of an outburst from a Swami who seemed to be an uninvited guest making a last-minute entry at the closing of the star-studded Siddha function, many among the audience were displeased. But I was amused. It was an event about bringing the philosophy of the Siddhars to the public. Many prominent speakers took the stage and spoke on their individual capacities and specializations enlightening the audience over the three days. So much praise was piled over the three-day event and suddenly someone walks up and gives a blow. As it was an event about the Siddhas how could something of that nature that many later considered as a black spot on an otherwise white sheet take place without the Siddhas blessings? Was it meant to snub certain quarters?
I was snubbed by Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar when I eagerly went over to pay him a visit after hearing about his mission in Turaiyur from his followers in a local chapter of his in Dengkil. The Swami practically ignored me and imagine was more interested to know about Kuala Lumpur from my Chennai driver! Finally, I intruded asking him to bless me. There was no reply. After the third request he turned to me and told me coming there (Ongkarakudil) itself was a blessing and turn towards Devandran to continue their chat. I was devastated. Was I not supposed to be there? Was I not fit to receive his blessings? All these questions came to mind as I continued on my maiden pilgrimage to India in 2003. It took several years later in 2008 when I got the reply from Agathiyar in the Nadi and several more years before I fully realized and understood the subtle messages from that sour and bitter experience.
I was snubbed numerous times by Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal. At the height of my joy in receiving him in my home and having him spend time with us among his busy schedule in 2005, I showed my pleasure and gratefulness in having him drop by, by thanking him. But he blurted that I was living in Maya. That he was not a Samy (Holy man) but an Asamy (a fraud). He said he had nothing hidden under his garment. He asked that I place my faith on Agathiyar and not on him. I was shocked beyond disbelief. The rest of the ride back to the premises where he was staying during the duration of his visit to Malaysia was totally silent. What can you say after receiving a beating or being stung by the "bee" except sulk sitting in the corner?
When I arrived at his ashram for the first time the same year, someone came up to him showing a rudraksha bead and asked if he could wear it on him. Tavayogi gave him the green light cautioning him on the sacredness of the bead. Turning to me later he told me, "We do not need that, my son." Seeing me wear a nine gem-studded gold ring on my finger, he told me again that "We do not need that, my son." I had to tell him then that I was wearing a Rasamani on me too. He told me "We do not need that, my son." Another might compare and ask why he was wearing beads etc but asked us not to. Though I was puzzled but followed what he said. I realized only in later years that he had me drop my hold on accessories then and to believe in the guru. Yogi Ramsuratkumar initially could not bring himself to accept Ramdas’s life of luxury. But he kept repeatedly going to him asking to accept him though he was thrown out several times.
After many years I could see through their Lila or play. The guru does not come to feed our ego but to break us. The guru does not come to pamper us with gifts and riches but to bring us to a state of a beggar having us shed everything. He comes to give us the required experiences to gain Atma Balam or Soul Power. If you are prepared then do seek out a guru of such nature. Otherwise, carry on with your mundane life. Your Atma will wake you up giving you the necessary experiences to jolt you out of your dream state. You can start then.
Recently I came across numerous video clips of Brahma Suthrakulu of their guru dispersing and enlightening seekers that captured my attention. I was amused for I could relate to the approach he took in dealing blows to the ego and shelling and blasting the ignorance of those who came before him. He opens our eyes to the most obvious that we fail to see, breaking the accepted convention, and renewing us. I tend to like him. He reminds me of the Swami who took the stage at the convention in 2007.