Just like the Buddhist monks who painstakingly spend hours creating a mandala only to destroy it after it is worshipped, Agathiyar who build a mini-empire that came to be known by various names destroyed it too. Coming into my home, my home became his Vanam. With rituals and charity undertaken, it became his Tapovanam. Then he called it a day. He brought the shutters down, except for a handful who remained to stay. Coming within us as the Mouna Guru, it became Gnanakottam. In all this series of events he broke my attachment to the organization and that of others too, just as the monks broke their attachment to their creation.
Frank Alexander in his book "In the Hours of Meditation", Advaita Ashrama, Calcutta, 1993, writes,
"No organization can save thee. Thy must save thyself. Generally speaking, organizations however spiritual and unsectarian their intent, degenerate into worldliness."
"So deep-rooted is Ahamkara that like the cause of a deep-seated disease it is most difficult to discover. It disguises itself under myriad forms, but of all its disguises none is so treacherous and so evil as the spiritual disguise."
"As for organizations appreciate their usefulness, the greatness of the ideas they embody, but remain thou unidentified. The religious life is purely personal and subjective. It may be born in a church, but it must outlive it."
He echoes the words of Tavayogi asking us "not to die in the temple." To have us realize this the Siddhas brought us from Sariyai introduced by our parents to Kriyai and Yoga that was introduced with the coming of the guru. Then they removed the support. Seeing us groping in the dark they came as the effulgence to light up the dark cave within us. Now they ask that this effulgence should shine through us and engulf others too.
The guru echoes further the words of Tavayogi. "Be always true and loyal to the source from which thou hast received thy inspiration." Tavayogi showed us to Agathiyar and stepped aside. Agathiyar in turn passed us on to Ramalinga Adigal to connect directly with the Prapanjam. That is the greatest thing a guru could do for his student, to show him directly to the source for all his needs, rather than have him cling to the guru forever. The Siddhas never spoon-feed us. They showed us to fish rather than feed us the fish. They had us work for our meal. They asked us to read up the guru's writings on the 96 tattvas and on the Atma. In event, we cannot comprehend after numerous readings, they would come to clarify. So I took up reading Tavayogi's "Andamum Pindamum" and "Atma Gnanam." When I had failed to understand the nature of the body, breath and soul or Udal, Uyir and Atma, and threw a tantrum at not able to differentiate the three, Agathiyar clarified through a short memo. But it required another seven posts to understand the subject clearly. As I was still unclear about the connection if there was one, between the Atma and the tattvas, or were the tattvas applied solely to the composition of the body, revisiting Tavayogi's writings today, I realized that he had included the Atma as the very first component arising from one of the Butham or element, Akaayam or space. Tavayogi says Akaayam or space or ether was split into two halves, with the first half becoming the Atma.
When Ramalinga Adigal came and asked us to hug him several days back, he transferred an enormous amount of energy or sakti that traversed through all of us who held on to him. Every cell in us experienced the bliss that was a result of the intense vibration created by the divine energy transferred onto us to sample. Though he had done this several times on his earlier visits, I suppose this time we could truly and fully absorb the intense energy, vibration and bliss. He did say something that he never told us before. If earlier he had asked us to connect with the Prapanjam and take in its energy, and had on numerous occasions helped us bring the Prapanjam and its energy within, this time he uttered that we had connected with the Atma. This surprised us. Later Agathiyar told us the same that Ramalinga Adigal had connected us to the Atma.
Figuring what took place then and recalling both Agathiyar's and Ramalinga Adigal's statement and looking up Tavayogi's book, I gathered the following. The energy that was passed on to us was so intense that it had the very cells in us vibrate and touched the Atma as never before. If previously the bliss was felt through engaging with our senses, touch, hearing, sight, smell, and taste, this time around it went beyond the senses and so deep within the core and touched the Atma bringing on Atma Darisanam of sorts I suppose.
As he had earlier told us that we can never actually pinpoint the specific location of the Atma in our body, ஆத்மா உறையும் இடம் இங்கு தான் என்று சொல்ல இயலாது I guess that the Atma takes residence in these spaces throughout our body. The intense energy reverberated within the very core of the cells and was felt by the Atma that contains the rest of the 95 tattvas. We recall Agathiyar telling us in his earlier memo that the Atma keeps both the Udal and Uyir under its control and scrutiny in a secretive, subtle manner. ஆன்மா உடலையும் உயிரையும் தனது கட்டுப்பாட்டுக்குள் வைத்துக் கொள்ளும் ஒரு சூச்சமம். With the Pindam or embryo explained clearly in his earlier memo, and Uyir stated clearly as the breath, I put forward my understanding of the placement of the Atma in our body as occupying the Akaayam or space. Only Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal should come to either endorse my understanding or tell me otherwise if I had erred. Please bear with me if I am wrong about it. I shall wait for Agathiyar to correct me.
Earlier, we were made to understand that the records of our past karma were not carried in the Atma as widely spoken and thought of. So to the questions as to what or where these records are stored and if it was within us, or in the Akashic library beyond, he pointed us to P. Kamalakkannan's book on "Kunangkudiyaarin Gnana Vazhi", published by Vanathi Pathipakkam, Chennai, 1993. The author, referring to the Quran and Agathiyar's verses, explains,
ஒவ்வொரு மனிதனும் செய்கின்ற நல்வினை தீவினை யாவும் இரு கண்ணியமான எழுத்தாளர்களால் கவனிக்கப்பட்டு ஒரு புத்தகத்தில் பதிவு செய்யப்படுவதாகவும் அப்புத்தகம் ஒவ்வொரு மனிதனின் கழுத்தில் மாட்டப்பட்டிருப்பதாகவும் இறை மறையாம் திருமறை கூறுகின்றது. அது எவ்வாறு மாட்டப்பட்டுள்ளது என்று அகத்தியர் விளக்கம் கூறுகிறார். திருமறை கழுத்து என்று கூறியதை அகத்தியர் தெளிவாகக் கழுத்தின் உட்பகுதியில் அமைந்துள்ள அண்ணாக்கு என்று கூறியுள்ளார். ஒவ்வொரு மனிதனின் அண்ணாக்கிலும் காலப் பெட்டகம் இருக்கிறது. அவன் செய்யும் நல்வினை தீவினை யாவும் உடனுக்குடன் அங்கே பதிவாகின்றன. இதற்கு விதி என்று பெயர் என்ற உண்மை அகத்தியர் வாக்கால் வெளிப்படக் காண்கின்றோம்.
Each good and bad deed is watched and noted and recorded by "two accountants" in a book. This is fate. This book is hung around their necks according to the Quran. Agathiyar clarifies this as the Uvula. Agathiyar told us the same too later. Touching the throat, he said, "இங்கு அடங்கி இருப்பது கர்மா."
It is comforting to see that he gives support to all our endeavors. He is known to tell us, "நீ செய்து வரும் ஆராச்சியை தொடர்ந்து செய். முடிவில் நான் வந்து கூறுகிறான். He leaves us to read, hear, learn, and experience and also to think, ponder, research, and come to an opinion first before he comes in to endorse or reject, or correct and fine-tune our understanding.
We can figure out the placement of the Uyir or breath among the 96 tattvas quite easily though. Tavayogi wrote that the second half of Akaayam split further into four portions. The first quarter teaming up with Vaayu resulted in Manas; the next quarter became Buddhi and Arivu when teamed with Agni or Fire; the third quarter teaming with water gave forth to Siththam; and finally, Ahangkaaram came to be in coalition with Earth filling the fourth quarter.
Vaayu or air was split into two halves too. Viyaanan became the first half, while the second half was subdivided further into four variations. Vaayu with Akaayam became Samana Vaayu; Vaayu with Agni or Fire gave forth to Uthaana Vaayu; the third portion of Vaayu teamed up with Water to become Prana Vaayu. The fourth, Abaana Vaayu was a result of Vaayu teaming with Prithvi or Earth.
Agni or Fire too was split into two halves, the first half becoming the eyes, while the second half was split further into four. Teaming with Akaayam it gave rise to the ears; the second teamed with Vaayu to take on the form of the skin; the third teamed with Water to become the mouth and tongue and teaming with Earth, the nose was formed too.
Water split into two halves giving rise to the Tanmaathirai namely taste in the first half and split further into four portions in the second half. Teaming with Akaayam, the hearing came about. Teaming with Vaayu touch was sensed. Sight came to be, teaming with Agni, and finally, the smell came forth with the addition of Earth.
Earth too split into two halves. The first half became the Anus. The second half split further took on the following: Speech in combination with Akaayam; Hands were formed in combination with Vaayu; Legs came to be created combining with Agni; Teaming with Earth the organs of pleasure came to be.
Would I be wrong to deduce that these 96 tattvas formed the Udal or body, Uyir or breath, and Atma or the soul?