AGATHIYAR'S TOUCH

Agathiyar never fails to amaze us. I was in the midst of drafting the following,

"When I was worried that the pain I endured thrice before had come back I tried using tiny electric impulses emitted by electrodes on the skin, a similar gadget used when I went for my physioteraphy sessions back then, on my back. It worked to bring relief.  The tightness around my hips and buttocks was relieved." 

"We are here because of our past karma or unfulfilled desires, to fulfill another's wish or to help others out. Tavayogi who was a pretty old soul came to lead us to light. My daughter had asked that both me and my wife who were her parents in a former birth too, to come back again. Besides that I too had a karma score to settle. Only after coming to the Siddhas did I come to know about Karma and my score chart too." 

... when a reader began messaging me after she read a post posted in May that I shared with her today. It is an old post that I sent to a friend with whom I spoke over the phone last night. I wanted to share the song that poet Kannadasan had written about God and experience being one. I shared it with her too.

She wrote telling me that she could see many similarities in her life. She told me that in her conversation with Agathiyar yesterday she asked him to reveal some truths to her. She felt the post was written for her. She found "the reasons for some events in her life (unfinished business), the challenges, and the experiences". She tells me "He mentions the experiences in such simple language but I understand the depth and magnitude having experienced...so much more to unpack from this post aiya...will have to read it again."

When I replied "Look at the timing", she replied "The timing was right for me to only have it now...I probably would not have recognized its value before. I didn't see it before because I was still in the process of experiencing it." 

I told her based on my many experiences, "The explanation always comes after the experience." She being a good writer replied, "You are right aiya... it's a very different form of the education system...conventional educational systems explain first and then allow for experience. Knowledge is important but this system nurtures the acquisition of wisdom."

We agreed that learning was always a work in progress. She enlightened me saying "I  came across something a few days back aiya something Agasthiyar apparently said... it says, "Everything in this universe is already there...nothing is new. Everything is already created, we only find it when the time is right (when one is ready for it, frequency ready). We have to be open to continuous learning on earth."

MORE AMAZING STORIES

Fetching my daughter from the monorail station we stopped over at the warehouse sale again in the afternoon and picked up several more books. There is something about books that one cannot describe. It is more of a bond and I guess that is why we are called bookworms. 

Reading through William J Peters's book "At Heaven's Door", Simon & Schuster, 2022 where he explores those about to die, he says they are not alone on their journey back home. He calls it "shared crossings" He says each of us is "guided back on our journey." 

A neighbor's father would share with me that he was seeing his departed relatives call out to him to join them. What surprised me was that the description of the scene was just like where we live now, with rows of linked houses and streets. 

If those nearing their time or about to leave see relatives and friends calling out to them as I found out, for those remaining behind and sending them off it could happen in various ways says William J Peters. Some might see the departing soul. Others might "experience sensations or sense of the presence of other energy forces or loved ones previously departed", he says. 

I sensed a strong presence of divine energies as my late brother-in-law who initiated and built a prayer hall for his guru Sri Raghavendra called the Sri Raghavendra Mritiga Brindavanam Kinta lay in his coffin. 

Some simply know, says William J Peters "without knowing where the knowledge came from." I was surprised to watch a dog rush between my house and a neighbor's home yelping, barking, and crying during the last few moments of its companion dog's departure. It knew.

If departed relatives, friends, and soulmates are on hand to invite the dying commoner, the Gods are at hand to receive the saints and gurus in their last moment before withdrawing from this body. After Tavayogi's demise, a devotee was shown in her dream Lord Siva ferrying Tavayogi on a boat across an ocean of water. In the distance was a hill where Siddhas, Rishis, and Munis went about their daily chores. It is interesting to note that departed souls were waited upon by boatmen according to the ancient Greeks and Egyptians, as pointed out by William J Peters.

We were honored to know that they came for my late mother too. When my mother lying on the hospital bed told all those gathered that she wanted to sleep we knew what she meant. Agathiyar coming through me asked that we do not delay her departure by holding on to her any longer. His reason was that another birth was waiting for her. She passed away shortly after that. Later during the funeral Agathiyar announced himself and told all those gathered that Lord Siva was with us at that moment too. We were blessed. 

We were blessed in many other ways and moments too. Yogi Ramsuratkumar came on a Sivarathri night two years back without our knowledge and listened intently to Sadhu Om's songs rendered by Sriram Parthasarathy, which I played on my home theatre system. After he revealed his presence to my wife, he announced to us that my guru and his disciple Supramania Swami was with him too. When Tavayogi and Mataji were at AVM conducting the homam Mataji felt the ground shaking below her feet, but could not comprehend it. Two days later Agathiyar in a Jeeva Nadi reading for a devotee read by Tavayogi revealed that the Siddhas were present that night and only Mataji sensed it. Agathiyar once summoned Tirumular to his left and Bhogar to his right asking them to take their place as I stood bewildered and in awe. As I took a step backward for they had then formed a ring, Agathiyar asked me to stand amidst them completing the circle. 

An architect who went into a state of coma after a second bout of severe dengue was met by Lord Yama. As he began chanting Lord Siva's name, Lord Siva appeared with his long tresses flowing over his shoulders and back, and with a blue-hued body, huge and way much bigger and majestic in comparison with Yama who was a midget in size. Lord Siva placed his hand on Yama's chest and shoved him away, driving him towards the direction from whence he came, and sending him out of sight. Siva led my friend by his hand and showed him all the worlds. The devotee came out of that state of coma. He surprised us by saying that Lord Yama was not as what was depicted in paintings and movies. He was not darkly tanned, huge, ferocious-looking, and menacing, and did not mount a Buffalo but was instead of a gold complexion and seated on a golden lion. But he had an attitude though. He indicated that the devotee followed him. 

KAILASH

When I thought a call to a Nadi reading was something big, as we were told not everyone would find his Nadi; When I thought called to the path was even bigger, for the Siddha path back then was seen as a cult following by a niche group of followers and devotees; When I thought that the call to built a temple for Agathiyar was something special and that I was special in his eyes; When Agathiyar sent many youths over to my home and it became Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), all these seem pale after hearing Balamurugan speak about his travel to Kailash. This is the story of the son of a rubber tapper who made it to become a Chartered Accountant and soon found himself jobless and standing before the majestic mountain that made him feel the size of an ant. It was in 2011 when he became jobless and was lost that he undertook this journey of discovering his true strength, his endurance, and his might against nature and the majestic mountain, and eventually discovering his Self. The Holy Mountain in a very rare moment paved the way for his entourage to come up close, hug, caress, and kiss it. It too in return embraced them in its fold. I shall let Balamurugan speak for himself.

LEFT ALONE

I went back again to the warehouse sale this morning and bought more books that were only brought out now, that caught my eyes now, and which missed my gaze earlier. Life is all about stories. And books add flavor and spice to it. We have watched, heard, and read the many stories based on the Puranas where the Gods played their lila and divine game on their devotees. A sadhu who looked after the needs of Sadhu Krishnaveni Amma of Kalyana Theertam shared stories of her including one where Lord Muruga as a kid used to tease her and cause mischief, playing with her. He would pull down the wet cloths that she would hang to dry and run away with Krishnaveni Amma chasing after him with a stick. It was joy and fun to watch them he told Jnana Jothiamma as he recounted those moments. Ramalinga Adigal sings of the divine Lila that the divine played on him. In fact, he asked for more. If those were stories that we saw depicted in the movies, stories that we read, and stories that we heard from people, the divine began its divine play in our lives too. If upon stepping into the phase of Kriyai they came to guide us on the worship of Siddhas detailing rituals,  upon stepping into the phase of Yoga, they guided us on our internal journey by giving Yoga practices through the guru and also the medium of the Nadi back then before the pandemic. During the pandemic, they came through devotees to bless and guide us into the next phase of Gnanam. Since then Agathiyar has showered his blessings, grace, and knowledge on us without any reservation. 

When Agathiyar told me in the Nadi many years back that he would not expose me, I had no idea what he meant. I soon understood where they were bringing me. Neither he nor Tavayogi ever suggested I start a Peedham, an ashram, or an establishment. But when Agathiyar brought youths over to my home it became Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) where they participated in my home puja and where charity programs were planned and charted. Tavayogi who taught us yoga never told me to teach another. Only later during the years of post-pandemic did Agathiyar ask that I teach Mahindren who was assigned later to teach the rest at AVM. If Tavayogi never wanted me to be dependent on him, on amulets, gems, rosaries, and eventually the Nadi too, Agathiyar never wanted me to depend on the group, association,  following, on hosting his celebration and his idol and finally even on him. Just as in the book summary of Matt Gaw's "Under the Stars - A Journey into Light", we read that "We only need to step outside to find that in darkness the world lights up", Agathiyar cut me loose and has me graze the fields, take in the fresh air, watch the sky, and sleep peacefully. When everybody tells me they are busy with their work and career here I am left doing nothing. It is a blessing indeed not to do anything. Indeed our priorities in life change. Hollis Lance Liebman writes in the introduction of his book "Anatomy of Exercise for Longevity", Hinkler Books Pty Ltd, 2015 that "Fit older folks have learned that there comes a day when aesthetics (how the body looks) takes a back seat to functionality (how the body performs). When the question "How much can I bench?" is completely unimportant and replaced with "How do I feel?" 

THE GURU

Yesterday my daughter asked me to accompany her to a warehouse sale of a publishing company in the industrial area adjacent to our neighborhood. We had stopped going to these fairs for some time now as we needed more space to store additional books. Only when we began to give away many books some time back did we have space to stock more. I picked up a couple of books for myself and my grandchildren, the Holy Bible for my neighbor, and some Gospel stories for his grandchildren, while my daughter bought some for herself. Speaking to a friend from Slovenia some time back, he tells me that he too has a huge collection of books as he is an academician. He keeps learning more languages including Mandarin, Indonesian, and Tamil. A relative of mine too is obsessed with learning. Having done his general degree, master's, and doctorate he took up a Diploma too. If these academic subjects boost our status and standing in our careers and society, on the other hand reading autobiographies and biographies of achievers both in the material and spiritual world is uplifting for the soul. These success stories boost our drive to engage similarly. Then there comes a time when you tend to place these books down and seek these said experiences for yourself. You yearn to know about yourself and your purpose here, often asking what am I doing here? Here then the search begins to know oneself. We are told that in knowing oneself everything else is known. This search brings us to numerous paths and masters and their teachings. But only one shall sync with our soul. From then the soul takes flight. There is no looking back. While for some the journey is smooth sailing, the seas are pretty rough for others. But at the end of the day or rather the end of the journey it is all about gathering experiences and learning from them. I too was shown the many faces of humanity traveling a short distance on the path of the Siddhas. Agathiyar wanted me to learn from these experiences. 

Just as others left a legacy we too need to leave something behind, a mark of our existence here. If generally, the ordinary man leaves behind his children and property and a name that he had carved for himself in society, a Siddha goes beyond worldly existence and looks to means and ways to save all souls. Hence they tirelessly work to get man to wake up from their dream state and take up the means and methods to eventually reckon with the soul that delivers him back home. Many have tried but the hold of Maya is too strong for many to break through the veil and see the light. We understand the Siddhas sadness and worries about humanity once we step into their shoes too. The Siddhas are the bridge between man and God only until, walking on it he eventually finds that he and the bridge are no different. At that instance, he realizes that there is no destination but only a moment-to-moment in existence. We live and die the very next moment only to become alive again and to die in the next, for life follows the breath and the Prana within and without. For those trained in Yoga, they tend to prolong both moments. This is what Tavayogi told us that we should attempt to do. But beyond life and death, there is still this existence of the Self or soul. Knowing this he begins to lose his hold on the gross for he knows that he is the very existence. He knows that he is both the part and the whole. Knowing this he begins to awaken others to this truth. He then is a guru, a light, a beacon. He is a Jeevan Mukta. He starts to bring others to the fold, not to worship him but to transform themselves into his state or rather the state of the very source. They rejoice in this union.

THE DREAM

I finally did it after numerous attempts to sit and try meditation. I could actually go within for one solid hour at 4 a.m. this morning. It was truly blissful. It was my very first taste of meditation. Though it is only a fraction of what others could do, it was an achievement for me. The sense of having a body that ached and pained over the past few weeks vanished. The pranic body came to the forefront. The breath took the reign. I was then a witness, a watcher.

Looking back at history the emperors amazed more land and wealth by conquering other nations, hence expanding their hold on soil and people. It is no different in the spiritual path too. What starts with a humble dwelling or shed expands into a massive building in wanting to house devotees. What starts with feeding a few expands to a few hundred. When it is all about expanding and growing all around us, Tavayogi and Agathiyar taught us to shed our hold and let go of even all that he initiated us to do. We come stark naked and we leave naked. But midway we begin to accumulate many a thing. It is of course necessary to have a roof above us and a vehicle to move around, but what Agathiyar teaches us is to be prepared to let go voluntarily when the call comes.

We think that times are bad and are saddened that wars a fought and lives perish. But was there a time back in history when men did not go against each other? It is not that we are condoning wars but so many battles have been fought beginning with the mythical Kurukshetra war to this present day. History seems to repeat itself. It makes you think that if this could all be but a prolonged and extended dream. Is this Maya then? Is all this an illusion? The world only exists at least to us if only we are alive, right? Close our eyes and shut our ears the world around us disappears momentarily. But beyond this body and senses, there is a tenant or dweller we are told who was, is, and exists forever. We are asked to know it, him or her. Then we have arrived. This existence or sense of existence as Acharya Gurudasan put it is what was there, is here, and shall continue to exist. This existence took many forms in creation for its play. It then began to get attached to its role and believed it was the form and name it came by. It then finds it rather difficult to shed this identification with these. It suffers, and it enjoys through this identification. In dropping first all our hold on things material and as we move to drop even this identification with this gross body and label given to it, it returns to the state of existence. Now I understand why Tavayogi in having me drop my hold on him even before it could grow and Agathiyar in bringing me to shed my hold on all things after I had carried them out and gained the accompanying experiences and learned from them, asked that I drop even my love and attachment toward him. It is only when we step out of this identification of separateness that the merger takes place. We become one as Agathiyar says. 

LOVE & PEACE

I seem to have a high expectation of others to perform equally as I do I think for even Lord Muruga came and told me to let them be and that he shall take care of them in good time. Agathiyar had earlier told me not to be harsh with them for it shall frighten them away from the path. But isn't that what teachers, masters, and gurus are supposed to do? I remember when I was in standard two our teacher Mr Osman punished us by stretching a rubber band and letting it go on our ears that would sting like a bee. But we and our parents took it with good spirit then. Nowadays it's entirely different. Lay a finger on the kid and the parents and the law comes down hard on you.  

I guess that is the reason Agathiyar stripped me of the post of a guru that he intended to give me even before it was conferred on me. I am not a guru material for I lose my temper often. Even after Agathiyar came in the Nadi and lectured me for an hour on anger management and kept reminding me to keep my cool, less the energies that he activated in me drop back to the lower regions, it is an uphill task to zip up in the face of injustice happening before my very eyes or when people ignore what is told more so when they ignore the very Siddhas words. 

So eventually they had me do nothing. I guess the lesson here is to accept it all as his doing and just watch.

Anita Moorjani in her book "What If This Is Heaven", Hay House, 2016, tells us, "If we could see this physical world from that connected state of non-duality we would see that everything that happens is perfect just as it is even if it doesn't seem that way from our more limited earthly perspective." How beautiful. She reflects Bhagawan Ramana's teachings as brought to us by his disciple Sadhu Om in the following verses. 

எப்போது நீயறி வாயோ மனமே
அப்போதே சாந்தி யடைவாய்
இப்பாரி லெப்போதும் எல்லா மிறையருளால்
தப்பா தணுவளவுஞ் சரியாய் நடப்பதாக (எப்போது…)

முற்போது தர்மமென்றும் தற்போ ததர்மமென்றும்
முயன்றேசீர் திருத்திட முடியுமுன் னாலேயென்றும்
அற்பாகந் தைச்செருக்கால் அலையாம லேயடங்கி
ஆண்டவன் ஆட்சியில் அதர்மமே யில்லையென்றே (எப்போது…)

எழுந்தவுன் னெழுச்சியா லெண்ணம் செயல்சொல்லாக
இயற்றிய கர்மமெல்லாம் இறைவனை நீங்குவதே
அழுந்தி யகமூலத்தி லகந்தை யழிவதொன்றே
அரிய க்ருதக்ருத்திய ஆன்மானு பவமென்றே (எப்போது…)

இப்பாரி லெப்போதும் எல்லா மிறையருளால்
தப்பா தணுவளவுஞ் சரியாய் நடப்பதாக (எப்போது…)

When you realize That in this world everything happens ever by God’s Grace

With not a mistake down even to each atom perfectly,

Right then you shall attain peace, oh mind

Imagining that then there was dharma and now there is adharma

When you realize through your effort you can bring about a change

To not roam about with such arrogance of the puny ego

And surrender that there is no adharma in God’s dominion

Right then you shall attain peace

Your rising up that becomes thought, word and deed

and all the karma thus created moves you away from God

When you realize To abide within the Heart source so the ego gets destroyed

Is the rarest deed worthy of pursuing, direct Self experience

Right then you shall attain peace

When you realize That in this world everything happens ever by God’s Grace

With not a mistake down even to each atom perfectly

Right then you shall attain peace, oh mind

(Source:  eppodhu nee arivaayo, When You Realize )

Days ago reading writer Balakumaran's book we learn of Maya at work through our minds.

உனக்கு நீயே பொய்யாய் இருந்து விடாதே. எல்லா நேரமும் விழிப்பாய் இரு. உண்மையோடு இருக்க விழிப்பாய் இருக்க வேண்டும். மூளை உறங்கினால் ஏகப்பட்ட பொய்கள் சொல்லத் தொடங்கும். இதுதான் ரொம்ப முக்கியம். நெல் முலையளவு  கூட கற்பனை செய்யாத மனம் வேண்டும். சத்தியத்தை உண்மையை இறுக்கிக் கொண்ட உடனே அதற்குச் சோதனைகள் வரும். உள்ளும் புறமும் பொய் சொல்ல வேண்டிய நிலை வரும். மனம் மிகச் சக்தி வாய்ந்த விஷயம் மணி. இது மனிதர்களுக்குத் தெரியவில்லை. 

Do not cheat yourself. Be Awake (Aware) always. To stay truthful you need to be always Awake (Aware). Lose your Wakefulness (Awareness) and your mind shall begin to lie to you. This (Wakefulness and Awareness) is truly important. Do not let imagination run wild. One who begins to hold on to honesty and truth shall be tested. He shall be cornered to tell lies. Mani, the Mind is truly powerful. People do not realize it.

Tavayogi spoke on Maya in passing telling me I was living in it when he visited my home for the very first time in 2005. Lord Muruga came post-pandemic and asked me to watch out for Maya was playing a game. 

Anita Moorjani says that "Nothing can change these destructive patterns until we break open the myths and reveal the lies that have been informing our thoughts and beliefs."

Why does the Siddha have to come down for us? Are we deserving of their love and compassion? When I told Acharya Gurudasan that at times Agathiyar was harsh on us asking us if he had to come down even to tutor us on the basics, and he could not go any lower, Acharya told me that he understands pretty well how difficult it was for these Siddhas to come down from their high state of being to address humanity. Indeed Annie Besant too in writing on the different states of vibrations writes of the spiritual teacher's state in her book "Avatara-s", The Theosophical Publishing House, 2002,

He is hampered in the giving by the want of receptivity in those to whom his message is addressed. It is not the withholding of the teacher but the closing of the heart of the hearer; not the hesitation of the teacher but the want of the ear that hears; not the dearth of teachers but the dearth of pupils who are willing and ready to be taught. They are waiting, waiting, waiting with tireless patience in order to find someone willing to be taught, and when one human heart opens itself out and says, "O Lord teach me", then the teaching comes down in a stream of divine energy and floods the heart. Unlock the heart and throw away the key and you will find yourselves flooded with a wisdom which is ever waiting to come in.

Why are they doing it then? Because of love. Love governs everything. But most of us are not connected to it although the divine and creation provides many avenues and events for us to become connected to each other. Listening to my daughter play Engelbert Humperdinck's song "A Man Without Love" while sending her to work, where Engelbert sings the line, "Lonely is a man without love" it made me think and imagine if there was no one you could love or vice versa, no one would love you, how would our world be? 

Love is the cement binding all of creation and life. With so many breakups and divorces taking place, if there are cracks in a marriage act fast to mend it. Do not let it open up wider and have the whole structure come down. Is it safe to say that our individual ego is the cause of breakups? If we have often touched on the need to drop the ego so that the Atma can reveal itself, Anita Moorjani asked us to look at it in another way. She tells us that the ego is not our enemy as we need it to survive in this world and that without it it is not possible to experience what we came for, to experience the duality and the separation, and only then can the yearning to be with the One come by. She adds "We are predisposed to have both a healthy ego and a healthy sense of conscious awareness." Even the saints to stay rooted and grounded have to have at least a small amount of ego left in them that shall hold them back. Otherwise, they leave. So it looks like we need to work on this ego rather than eradicate it. We have to purify and fine-tune it to the state of the higher vibrations. It then submits to the will of the divine and the divine shall walk in us and work in us. All shall be well.

THE ORACLE

Some time back when the ATM machine rejected my debit card and asked that I go to the nearest bank I did as told wondering why the cash transaction failed. The lady over the counter started a chat with me as she took out an eraser and began to rub the surface of the EMV chip and gave it back to me telling me to try now. It worked. So just days ago when the same thing happened I went home and looked for an eraser and did the same. It works. My daughter tells me if you have glue on your scissors use an eraser to remove it. If we thought nobody uses an eraser except to erase pencil markings, its use goes beyond that. Similarly, we might not realize that we are put on the face of this earth to do more than a thing or two. It might be something good or something harmful. We never know. Nothing is useless. Everything has its use. The person who you least expect to be of some help might turn up at your door in your time of need. Acharya Gurudasan who visited Malaysia over the past weekend to teach Kriya Yoga and Balachander Aiya who helped coordinate the program shared a story. An aide who was tasked to look after providing the meals for the three-day session had a puncture while ferrying the meals and was stranded by the roadside. Two complete strangers stopped by to change the tire that had burst and went off without a word. They were like God-sent. The attendees were fed without any hitches. 

My gurus were God-sent. Agathiyar and the Siddhas were God-sent too. Their Nadi was a gospel to me. My friend Andraz from Slovenia calls them the Oracles. They spoke to me through this medium before they began to manifest in the body of devotees to deliver their messages. Though I had seen village deities come into the body of some and deliver messages since young, a Siddha coming within was truly surprising. All these captivated me and several others and we used to speak about the greatness of the Siddhas. 

In telling the story of Tsem Rinpoche, Elizabeth Kaye who coauthored the book "My Journey In This Life", a Kechara Media & Publications, 2021, says the same too in describing the oracle of Dorje Shugden "as amazing that when you pray to this protector, he enters the oracle. We get to talk to him. He tells us not random things but specific things and it works exactly as told. After a while, we do not defy him but carry out what is told."

When my nephew told me that he had brought a message for me and not to question him, I complied with him. As we sat before each other in my prayer room his body shook and as if in a trance he delivered the Vasudeva mantra and asked that I recite it for it shall pave the way for me to meet my guru. I was told a couple of years later that Agathiyar had requested the mantra initiation, coming through the soul of my nephew's Paramaguru Gopal Pillai. My nephew was the medium and messenger to deliver it. As told I met my very first guru in the flesh Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai the following year while on my maiden pilgrimage to India in 2003, to settle my debts and balance the score and lay down at least a major part of the Karma baggage I had brought with me. Then it happened again with Supramania Swami. He went into a state of deep meditation during a large part of the 5 hours I spent in his company. Like Tsem Rinpoche describes, he entered the oracle or tapped into the Akashic records and delivered everything that I needed to know then. 

When Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar visited Malaysia some time back a devotee consulted the Jeeva Nadi that was given to Tavayogi and is now in her possession. He was told to prepare to follow another and learn certain skills from a master and eventually conduct a puja for Agathiyar. As he shared his trip to India just moments ago over the phone, he was equally surprised that it had all taken place and worked exactly as told. Someone invited him and several others along to India and they found a master who passed on certain teachings and he "discovered" a temple for Agathiyar where he conducted a puja for him fulfilling the Oracle. 

Reading Velayudham Kartikeyan Aiya's blog Siththan Arul truly captivated me as he shared the many revelations of Agathiyar as read by Hanumathdasan Aiya of Chennai. This was the stepping stone for me to learn further about the Siddha's Oracle. Then I learned that my guru Tavayogi could read the Jeeva Nadi too in later years. What surprised us and him too was that my wife was shown this in her dream. 

Life seems to be a dream indeed at times. Life seems to be a timeline of fleeting moments. What we have these days is only a vague memory of those moments, faces, names, and places. I am glad that I began to document everything in writing after returning from my maiden pilgrimage to India in 2003 for my memory too shall fail me one day. At least my grandchildren can look up these posts and learn what took place in the past as they grow older. 

DOING NOTHING

It is only when the guru stops teaching that the student becomes realized. If he continues speaking and preaching and filling his student it shall never happen. The separation between a guru and a disciple shall exist forever until the guru puts a stop to it. A wonderful story is told of Lord Dhakshanamurthy preaching to his four students under a tree. But speaking and trying to enlighten them made them only more curious to know more and they kept asking further questions. The moment the guru realized that his students' realization was not taking place as intended and as he had aspired, he turned within and remained silent. In this silence, his students became realized. There was now no separation between the guru and his students. They were all one. All the knowledge of the guru was that of the students too. This was beautifully narrated by Acarya Gurudasan too during his recent visit to AVM where he said that Bhagawan Ramana did not initiate anyone, for he never considered anyone as not realized. In his eyes we are all realized souls, the reason being he saw everyone and everything as one. So when he was realized, everyone became realized in that instant too. 

Acarya Gurudasan says further, "Ramana always says that in his eyes nobody is unrealized. Because he sees only one soul in everybody. He doesn't see anybody outside him. That is why he doesn't give Diksha because in giving Diksha you need a guru and then a disciple too. With him, there was no place for duality. He was pure Advaita. He is in the state constantly. Everybody is one. Everything is one in his view."

How wonderful. 

Tavayogi who came to Malaysia to officiate several Peedhams in the name of Agathiyar beginning in 2005 never suggested that I start one. But beginning in 2013, Agathiyar began to send many youths over to my home after their Nadi readings to witness my home puja. Soon he had us conduct charity programs too. For the sole purpose of coordinating these activities and events, there was then a need to have a name and a location. I picked Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) for my home for it was also the name of the hamlet where Tavayogi's ashram was located. AVM flourished over the years until Agathiyar had me close its doors in the wake of the pandemic. At its core, he did not want me to start a Peedham, or have a following though he did throw these ideas at me through his devotees, testing to see if I would take the bait. The AVM WhatsApp group remained a loose congregation of followers and seekers that made it easy for it to be dissolved when the time came and we could move on. Similarly, they tested me by throwing in the suggestion that I build a temple for Agathiyar initially in 2002 that was later joined by Lord Murugan in 2018 wanting one for himself too. To teach me that it was not what was my priority, they came as a stranger and questioned my guru Supramania Swami as to why he was building a temple that is seen as being in the path of Bakti when he was already a Gnani. He too dropped his desire. Eventually, Agathiyar told me to let go of even my hold on him for how else could we become one he said. He was moving me from Dvaita to Advaita too, as did Bhagawan Ramana conduct himself with his followers. 

In coming to us through a devotee recently Agathiyar offered to make me a guru. Finally wanting to please him, considering all the many previous wishes he had for me, which I had turned down, I relentedly gave in to his wish. The very next moment he told me "No, No, I shall make you a Siddha instead." He then had me sit at home doing nothing. Who can possibly comprehend the Siddhas?

CONNECTING 2

Just as a stray came up to the saint Pattinathar and stayed on with him, a stray who became friends when my second 4-year-old granddaughter and I were walking in the neighborhood, comes knocking on my door daily, shaking the gate and once inside shaking the grill and once did jump onto the window sill wanting to get in and I had to push him off, and again once inside the home, I had to practically drag him out by his neck. He runs to me or surprises me by coming up to me from behind, jumping onto me, and licking me all over the moment he sees me walking. He yelps, whines, and calls out to play with him. But surprisingly he never eats whatever we give him. As I am vegetarian even if we serve him meat he takes a sniff and walks away. We wonder what he eats then. What is this newfound bond that has come to be I wonder? But I cannot possibly take him in for it would become a new attachment since Tavayogi and Agathiyar had taught me to be detached from all things. 

I guess another milestone in becoming detached is the current separation from my wife. If I had started the worship of the Siddhas after Agathiyar called me to do so in my Nadi reading in 2002, if after my retirement in 2016, I could focus completely on the Siddha puja that I initially began alone and later with my family joining me, and actively involved with doing charity with the coming of several youths sent be Agathiyar to my home in 2013, if Agathiyar brought a stop to all our puja and charity programs and brought a close to the AVM chapter and had me go within having me sleep in his prayer room in 2019, Agathiyar practically has separated me from my wife now. For the past three months, my wife has been back home in her parent's place caring for her parents. The father is almost ninety while her mother is approaching eighty. Surprisingly this turn of events happened after Agathiyar carried out our 60th wedding and told my children to drop their hold on us and told us a new phase in our lives was to take place. Did he mean this separation? Who can understand the divine play? 

These days I am very much occupied with my thoughts. My thoughts accompany me every moment. Or rather my existence accompanies me. Or to be precise I simply exist. Occasionally the outside world and its noise would intrude into this space. Otherwise, it is quiet and peaceful most of the time. My attention moves to the quietude and peace and the sounds of the birds and the crickets chirping and frogs croaking. At other moments the attention moves to the breath or the crown and everything stands still. There are also those moments where my attention goes within and shuts out the noise outside. I guess to help me be still and silent, Agathiyar has created the ideal environment for me to remain in this state. When both he and Lord Muruga in having me drop everything external and nudging the dormant energies within to arise, told me that there was nothing further to do and to remain doing nothing, they helped me drop the very veil of illusion or Maya that covered and tainted my consciousness. What remains now is pure consciousness. What remains now is awareness of the breath. What remains now is awareness of my very own existence, something that the visiting Acarya Gurudasan and we concluded during our recent meeting.

CONNECTING 1

Just as we have trapped the deity Karupanasamy in a form and image that the son of Rama took for a mission to rid the Asuras, we have trapped God and the divine energies prevalent in the Prapanjam into forms, images, and idols and worshiped them for our daily needs and fulfillment, desires and wants. Similarly, the part of the bigger Atma that is the ParamAtma that came away, designed, engineered, and supervised the building of this gross material body taking its raw materials and components partly from each parent's body and the rest from the existing Prapanjam, to carry out its divine purpose was overthrown by our ego, arrogance, and ignorance that came to veil it. This JeevAtma that resides and watches silently has to be freed to reign again and help align our lives for the purpose it came. The Siddhas can help us with this. 

While many of us flock to gurus of whom some have never had certain experiences but took up the portfolio through legacy, to hear them speak and reveal life's mysteries, many individuals have attained an insight into life and live it out fully in the moment, away from the limelight. These individuals have indeed arrived there where it all began. The YouTube channel "Reflections of Life" reflects the lives of these individuals and captures nature with such beauty and clarity bringing the very essence of life before our eyes. Theo from an episode says "One is closer to God in a garden than anywhere else. Gardens are heaven". 

Justine and Michael write "We have so much to learn from each other, and our connections run so much deeper and stronger than we think. The more that we understand and believe in this interconnectedness, the more we will treat ourselves, one another, and planet Earth with a greater sense of compassion"

Watch more at https://youtube.com/@reflectionsoflife?si=NZmYxZ8ljIM3OJU8

It is with a similar purpose that I interviewed many seekers who stepped into my home out of either curiosity or shown to by others or Agathiyar himself brought them here. I also took the opportunity to interview the masters who dropped by my humble home. Indeed just as Justine and Michael write, we learn from each other. The other brings the missing puzzles in our lives and we get a better and more comprehensive picture and understanding of life.

THE GAME

Writer Balakumaran wrote a conversation between Mani and a force that called itself Atheenam, in his "Thirupoonturuthi," by Visa Publications, Chennai, 1995, that also sent a strong message to me. I have had this book with me for some time now gifted by a devotee but never managed to read more than a few pages. Thinking that I would read myself to sleep this afternoon, I opened up a page that captivated my attention and had me read further. This is what stole my attention.

கோடியில் ஒரு மனிதனுக்குத் தான் இது கிடைக்கும் மணி.

One in a crore shall receive this.

உனக்கு இது கிடைத்திருக்கிறது. 

You have received it.

மனிதரின் வாழ்க்கை முறைகள் வேறு. 

Men's lifestyles vary.

இங்கே உனக்குக் கிடைத்த வாழ்க்கையில் விதிமுறைகள் வேறு. 

Yours is different.

தொடர்ந்து பயணப்படு  மகனே. 

Continue to journey, my son.

நெல் முனையளவும் கர்வம் கொள்ளாதே. 

Never let Arrogance in.

எல்லாம் தெரிந்து விட்டது என்கிற இறுமாப்பும் வர வேண்டாம். 

Do not let the thought of having known everything in.

நீ உழைத்துக் கற்றதில்லை. 

You did not work for it.

உனக்கு கிடைத்தது. 

It was given to you.

இறை உன் மடியில் மனம் நெகிழ்ந்து இட்ட பிச்சை. 

God placed it in your lap.

ஏன் உனக்கு இட்டார்கள் என்பதற்குக் கரணம் இருக்கும். 

There is a reason for doing so.

உன் மூலம் அவர்கள் ஏதோ காரியம் செய்ய நினைக்கிறார்கள். 

They want to work through you.

உன்னை மீறி உன்னால் நடக்கிற அதிசயங்களில் மூல்கிப் போகாதே மகனே.

Do not get enchanted by their doings that are beyond your control.

உன் கர்வத்திற்கு வளமைக்கு அதிசயம் நிகழவில்லை. 

It does not happen to your dictates and likes.

எவருக்கோ உன் மூலம் உதவி கிட்டுகிறது. 

Someone gains through your actions.

எனவே அமைதியாய் இரு. 

Hence be quiet.

என்னவொ உனக்குள் நடந்து விட்டது என்றுதான் உனக்குத் தெரிகிறது. 

Know that something is happening around and within.

என்ன எதனால் என்பது தெரியவில்லை.

What and why is an unanswered question.

தெரிய வேண்டுமெனில் காத்திரு. 

If you want to know you shall have to wait.

மிகச் சரியான நேரத்தில் உனக்குச் சகலமும் தெரியவரும்.

You shall know at the right time.

தெரியவரும் முன்பே எல்லாம் தெரிந்து விட்டது என்கிற கர்வம் வராது பார்த்துக் கொள்.

Do not let the arrogance of thinking you know it all get to your head even before you arrive there.

உனக்கு நீயே பொய்யாய் இருந்து விடாதே. 

Do not cheat yourself.

எல்லா நேரமும் விழிப்பாய் இரு. 

Be Awake (Aware) always.

உண்மையோடு இருக்க விழிப்பாய் இருக்க வேண்டும். 

To stay truthful you need to be always Awake (Aware).

மூளை உறங்கினால் ஏகப்பட்ட பொய்கள் சொல்லத் தொடங்கும். 

Lose your Wakefulness (Awareness) and your mind shall begin to lie to you.

இதுதான் ரொம்ப முக்கியம். 

This (Wakefulness and Awareness) is truly important.

நெல் முலையளவு  கூட கற்பனை செய்யாத மனம் வேண்டும். 

Do not let imagination run wild.

சத்தியத்தை உண்மையை இறுக்கிக் கொண்ட உடனே அதற்குச் சோதனைகள் வரும். 

One who begins to hold on to honesty and truth shall be tested.

உள்ளும் புறமும் பொய் சொல்ல வேண்டிய நிலை வரும். 

He shall be cornered to tell lies.

மனம் மிகச் சக்தி வாய்ந்த விஷயம் மணி. 

Mani, the Mind is truly powerful.

இது மனிதர்களுக்குத் தெரியவில்லை. 

People do not realize it.

மிக பெரிய சோதனைகள் இனிமேல் தான் உனக்கு வரும். 

You shall begin to face great chalenges.

உன் மனோசக்தியின் பலத்தை அடர்த்தியை இறை சோதிக்கும்.  

God shall test your perseverance (to uphold honesty and truth).

All that took place in recent times that had me wondering what the heck was going on, where Lord Muruga came to caution me of the divine play of Lord Siva, Indran, Bhogar, and Agathiyar that was running its course and not to fall for the deceit and game, asking me to be watchful and aware and to know to sieve and separate the truth from the false, and that came to light eventually giving me a better understanding, now has been confirmed by the writings of Balakumaran. Agathiyar also reminded me to watch my behavior, lest the energies or Sakti released drop back to the lower regions. Then all his effort on me shall go to waste, he warned. Both he and Lord Muruga have ordained me to be still and do nothing, சும்மா இரு. So too did the force in Balakumaran's story tell Mani.

"சக்தியின் அசைவில் கோடியில் ஒரு மானிடருக்கு இப்படி விழிப்பு வரும்."

Awareness that comes with the movement of Sakti happens in but only one in a crore."

"என் விழிப்பு எதற்கு?"

"Why me?"

"காரணமின்றி எதுவும் நிகழாது." 

"Nothing happens without a reason"

"என் காரியம் என்ன?"

"What is mine?"

"சும்மா இரு. விழிப்பு கொடுத்ததே வழியும் கொடுக்கும்."

"Be still. That which awakened you shall show you the way too."

This is exactly what Agathiyar told me when I asked him if there was anything further by way of practice that I should adopt or carry out. He replied that there was none. "The energy in you shall do its work", he replied. I guess I have done enough both good and harm. It was an age of exploration wanting to know what was there in drinking beer and liquor, and smoking tobacco, and what men saw in women. I left it all behind after I found it did not give me any pleasure as made out to be. As I had much time on hand as a bachelor back then I picked up reading about culture and tradition and the reasons we follow them. These readings brought me to look at the age of Puranas or mystical stories of Gods and their triumphs. Learning from these books, I took up home puja to these deities and Yoga. It became a daily routine and regime then, with the daily dash of a temple visit added. Then there was a 14-year gap where I was asked to drop all the questions that arose in me. The Vasudeva mantra I received which was supposed to break the knots in us, brought an end to my self-exile. The calling came to see the Nadi the following year and as I was called to the path of the Siddhas I took up the call to worship them. I began to explore the Siddhas and their path. This was made more fruitful with the coming of Tavayogi. Just as the temple priests call out to the temple Gods to turn towards us and bless us in our lives through hymns, chants, and songs, when one comes to the Siddha path he connects with Agathiyar when he takes up Kriyai personally. The Siddhas draw the bridge down to come across traveling within, following the breath or Prana. The breath connects with the Prapanjam then. After Tavayogi's demise, Agathiyar took charge completely of my life. Today I stand indebted to them. Through their tutorship, and grace the JeevAtma eventually connects with the ParamAtma. Once connected both are one. Dvaita gives way to Advaita to become One, the Yegan. 

RAMALINGA ADIGAL

Why was Ramalinga Adigal different from the other Siddhas? For one, he did not beat around the bush. He explored and experienced and gave us the way and the means to attain all that he reached. If Siddhas are said to have hidden many secrets as Paripasai or hidden codes that only another Siddha could decipher, Ramalinga Adigal brought these ancient secrets to the common man in his own language. 

Though he lamented at the beginning that he did not know the many secrets, means, and methods, once he discovered them, having the grace of Arutperunjothi shower on him, he rejoiced and called out to the masses to take up the call and follow him.

There can never be another Siddha who was sincere and genuine and never hid anything from us. Neither did he play tricks or the divine play nor tested us. He was there to give, give, and continue to give. His teachings are condensed in the collection of songs the Thiru Arutpa which he gave mankind to emulate and follow.

THE JOURNEY IN TOTALITY

If I had traveled, what I guess must have been an out-of-body experience in my sleep as a kid, recurring over several days, towering close to the ceiling in my family home where I grew up in the sixties, watching myself, my father, and brother sleeping in our room from above and watching my mother and sisters in the adjacent room, before swinging from side to side and plunging down, reentering my body back then, traveling on my maiden pilgrimage to India as a tourist later in 2003, and again accompanied with Tavayogi in 2005 who brought me to retrace his path journeying to Siddha sites, abodes, and caves, the final lap unknowingly began in going within and traveling the Chakras beginning 2007. Life is all about traveling initially and coming one whole round back to lying on our backs and on our deathbeds. But the Siddhas somehow found the means to overcome death, taking on Samadhi, where the soul in us, the JeevAtma merges with the ParamAtma not upon leaving the gross body but while still in it, alive and witness to this divine marriage of Siva and Sakti, the merging with and in the Jothi or Light. If I had very much wanted to witness this merger take place before my eyes through Tavayogi, he very humbly told me it was too late for him to achieve as he was in his late sixties and that he had to come back again. But Dhanvantri who came later in 2018, told me that he had merged in the Light. Agathiyar later told us that as Tavayogi was looking into the Siddhas' matters in their realm, Agathiyar had to come personally and guide us. Later when Jnana Jothiamma came along and Agathiyar personally took her under his wings and tutored her on the path and the means, I wanted her to achieve this. As she was in her sixties too her body gave up on her and could not take on the magnitude and extent of the drastic transformation that took place. She told me that she would yet have to take another birth, a princely one in Europe as foretold by Agathiyar. Lord Muruga who wanted to reveal the secrets to his youth after Agathiyar who was then a commoner like us took care of the former's needs as he roamed the face of the earth as Supramaniar, told the latter that as he was in his sixties, it was not possible and that they shall meet in the next birth. Now Agathiyar wants me to be living proof that Siddhahood is possible in this age and at my age as I step into my 66th year. Most recently, he came to us through a devotee and asked if he should make me a guru but immediately retracted his suggestion saying, "No, No, I shall make you a Siddha instead." What else would one want? Thus he asked that I do nothing and that the energies in me shall do their work. 

15 September 1959, that is the day I was born in the early morning hours of 3.53am at least that is what I was told and the hospital records show. But Agathiyar threw in a surprise later in 2002 when I went for my Nadi reading for the very first time. He revealed my horoscope based on my thumbprint and came up with a different set of planetary positions at birth. Now which was true and what was I to follow? Going back to Dr. Krishnan, a medical astrologer and Siddha physician and friend, who spoke to me about Agathiyar and the Siddhas and their Nadi for the very first time in 1996, he worked back, from the planetary positions that Agathiyar gave at the time of my birth. I should have been born after sunrise at 9.25am. He asked me to ditch his assessment, readings, findings, and predictions based on 3.53am and follow the Siddhas. I was to find out from Lord Muruga in a Nadi reading very much later in 2018 that he had rewritten my fate.

The puzzle as to why this famed astrologer's predictions that worked well with others never materialized for me was cleared. Agathiyar also confirmed the doctor's possible reason for the stars not working in favor of my destiny. I had screwed up in my former birth and earned the wrath and curse of many back then. These took shape as Karma that stood in the way of me gaining the benefits in material life and also my spiritual practices as in taking up Yoga learning from the books and the hours of worship that when into it. 

Several months after my birth, I was said to be purging badly. As my parents had lost two children due to this they rushed me to my neighbor this time around rather than the hospital. Our Chinese neighbor used to go into a trance and heal people. And so was I saved that day with the promise undertaken by my parents that they shall give me in adoption to the Gods. So I came under their watchful eyes beginning that day.

1977, as I entered college, reading a book that I cannot remember its name and author, changed me dramatically. I learned to so "NO" to others. I was previously the timid and shy boy who would agree to everything said by others and follow. 

1980 saw me stand on my own feet as I took up my first job which I devoted to in dedication through some 36 years before retiring at the age of 56 in 2016. I had so much time on hand as a bachelor that I indulged in home puja, praising the Gods and Goddesses of the Hindu pantheon at dawn and dusk in the privacy of my bachelor house. Soon what I saw differed from what I read and was told. If God was supposed to be all loving and compassionate, it was not so in reality. I saw many around me suffer before me, often the reason given that it was God's doing and who was punishing them. I could not accept the fact that God would punish us. I would have gone cuckoo figuring out the truth of the matter until Lord Siva came in a dream and asked that I drop all the questions till a later time.

That later time came in 2002 when I went for the Nadi reading and Agathiyar in speaking about Karma and pointing out mine made me understand that it was the work of Karma of each individual and that they were responsible for all that comes their way. The Gods only were facilitators and supervised the planets which coming together shall bring on the respective effects in our lives. 

1989 was the year I got married and had a life partner followed by two wonderful daughters, the first in the same year and the second some nine years later in 1998. Agathiyar later told me that the latter was the reason both me and my wife took birth again, as she had wished for it in her last birth. 1998 was also the year I began to revisit the path of Bakti which was kept on hold for some 14 years. I and my wife who was carrying her in her womb would visit the newly inaugurated Murugan temple in our vicinity each night. Later Agathiyar revealed that she was the reason I came to the Siddha path. 

2001 was the year the doors to self-exile that were shut were reopened fully and I stepped out into a new world of mysticism. My nephew surprised me by bringing me a message from his Paramaguru Gopal Pillai, that came vis a trance as I sat before him. It was the Vasudeva mantra, that I learned later, that breaks all the knots in us and sets us off on a mystical journey.

The following year 2002 I stood before a Nadi reader, reading and revealing Agathiyar words written supposedly thousands of years ago on palm leaves which are carefully transcribed and copies made as the previous leaves deteriorate with time. It was my very first Kaanda Nadi reading where I was surprised to know someone else besides me knew everything about me and knew even further the things I could not remember having done in my past birth and who knew my future that I could not possibly know. I saw the Nadi revelations and the Siddhas words as the Gospel and followed every word in it.

As promised during the transmission of the Vasudeva mantra that came through my nephew, which I learned later was from Agathiyar, it paved the way for me to meet my guru. I came to my very first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai on the last leg of my pilgrimage to India in 2003 to carry out the remedies given in the Nadi. The 5 hours I spent with him was a life-changing moment in my life for I had my very first experience of God coming as a guru, something that I had read in Paramahansa Yogananda's Autobiography back then in 1994. He who was an astrologer too foresaw my future and narrated even the things that Agathiyar spoke in my Nadi, without me sharing the Nadi readings with him and without calling for the details of my visit to India, or charting my horoscope. These were divine revelations that came to him as he sat on his deer skin and spoke about my past, present, and future. He took me as his sole student. Before he saw the Jothi and left his gross physical body in 2007, he already gifted me all the merits of the years of austerities or Tavam or Tapas that he did as I revealed my selfish intent in helping him with his dream of building a temple. Just as Agathiyar saw the light and became it after he had selflessly provided food, lodging, and assistance to Lord Supramaniar in a previous birth, I too told him that this drove me to help him. Without a second thought, he passed on his merits telling me that one has to leave it all behind. I believe this skyrocketed me to where I am today. 

If I had gone looking for Supramania Swami earlier in 2003, 2005 was the year I was sent to Tavayogi Thangarsan Adigal who was in Malaysia to officiate an Agathiyar Peedham. My journey on the path that began after I took up the calling by Agathiyar in my Nadi reading in 2002, flourished under the guidance of Tavayogi. He broke me. He showed me to Agathiyar rather than have me worship and depend on him. He molded me. He had me drop my hold on a nine-gem and jewel studded ring, the mercury bead or Rasamani that I wore on me, the Rudraksha bead even before the thought came to my mind, and rosary and other amulets and all other accessories that one comes by in walking the spiritual path. He made me who I am today. He gave me what Agathiyar would later reveal as the biggest treasure. A set of Yoga practices that began to transform me both externally and internally in the years to come, without my knowledge of its mysterious working in me.

If the other centers in the name of Agathiyar carried on with the backing of senior devotees, Agathiyar sent youths in their late twenties and thirties to AVM in 2013 to learn the Siddha worship or puja. Soon he had us do charity too. My humble family home took on the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) which came to be the talk of the town where we conducted regular puja and charity programs. 

Never did we anticipate that Agathiyar would deal a blow to it all at the height of these activities. Many years on in the wake of the pandemic in 2019 he would have me close this loose association of seekers and devotees and have them go their way giving them the tools and the means and the ways and the methods and the practice to carry it out in the safety of their home as the virus lurked outside our homes. Soon he had me reach out to my Self not before having me engage fully in the activities of the spiritual world that everyone else conducts too but sadly is caught in and remains in. Agathiyar had me wind up the group and AVM shut its doors. Those who were governed by their Ego were the worst hit and could not take the blow. They never came back. 

The years during the pandemic were spent in isolation and carrying out certain practices given by Agathiyar who began to come through other devotees in the absence of the Nadi readers who packed their bags and left for India. In the years post-pandemic, Agathiyar educated me further by creating insane, absurd, and unbelievable scenarios and staged numerous plays or divine Lila, from which I could experience and learn the good, bad, and ugly of life. 

Agathiyar told me the practice that Tavayogi gave me and several others in 2007 was a treasure house or Pokisam and a potent tool that activated the Muladhara without my knowing until after Agathiyar came to reveal in 2012 the reason I was having lower back pain for some 2 1/2 years. He told me to lay down the tool. When he asked me to go within giving me certain practices to adopt and follow beginning in September of 2019 and had me sleep in his prayer room the latent power that was the Kundalini aroused. Although the signs were there I could not correlate them with the awakening until Agathiyar came to describe them and confirm her movement. It sprang into action having me collapse thrice and wriggling in pain that surprisingly was blissful too. Later in 2022, he told me to pick up the practices that Tavayogi gave and that Agathiyar asked to put on hold. Just as he had the knot released and released me from the agony and pain in my lower back finally in 2012, Agathiyar this time gave a tug some two fingers below the navel and belly button that made me nauseous and numb all over. A swirling as in a whirlpool was sensed in the region of the belly. The next day I bore witness to what I presume was my own death as I watched my body go lifeless below the neck. I could narrate all that I was experiencing to my wife though. The next few days saw the rapid manner in which this energy traveled to what I presume were the other energy centers before it came to rest in the Sahasrara. But surprisingly none of these Chakras were lined up in a straight line as often depicted in diagrams, figures, and books. They were much way above and below and to the sides of the main axis that follows the spine. The energy seemed to briefly drop in on these centers before finding its resting place in the crown of the head. The swirling sensation akin to a whirlpool soon transformed into that which was alike the blooming or opening of numerous petals. I came to understand from him that as he saw these energies had begun to stagnate at the Manipuraka, he broke the banks of the pond and released Shakti to travel to her beloved Siva who came down to meet her at the palace of the 1000 petals in the crown of the head. He keeps reminding me not to sabotage his efforts in bringing me to where I am today by my actions for it would be a wasted effort if this energy were to fall back to its lower regions. 

What is it that we have come to learn from life? First, they take us through all that creation has to offer, having us engage with it fully, taking in its pleasures and also sorrows. We are told not to shut out, nor control the pleasures that Maya has created for our existence but asked to savor them for their full intensity though told never to get stuck or addicted to them for life. All these shall be seen as clothing or dressing and one has to be ready to drop them and move on or rather move within later in life. Finally, they bring us to realize it is all but a dream and Maya or an illusion before bringing us to the pure awareness of our existence or being in those sacred moments of silence. Though the external world is mysterious in many ways, the true mystery lies within, not in the organs and other gross and physical stuff, but in a timeless space whose precise location cannot possibly be pointed out. All that can be given as aids to reach this place are directions and directives, practices, and methods. One watching out for these signboards soon arrives at this spot. Internal experiences would help him identify and locate it. He shall know that he has arrived at his destiny. The Self knows it all. It knows that it has arrived home. It resides in the bliss that is its very nature. As one chapter comes to an end another begins. Today Agathiyar gave new life to AVM with Mahindren and his wife steering the group of kids bringing them to learn Siddha puja, Yoga, and Sangeetham for starters. The legacy lives on.

A BIG THANK YOU

What can I say? Readership has hit 9.07 K in the past week. It is pretty obvious that Agathiyar is the driving force behind this blog and its posts. Some gurus claim ownership of all the powers they exhibit. Instead, they should reveal that nothing moves without divine consent. When I was on the verge of falling in love with Tavayogi at first sight and later fell for him on his first visit to my home, he broke my heart. Although he broke my heart, he showed me to a bigger lover, Agathiyar instead. I am glad he jilted me. 

The human species is gifted with heightened pleasures of taste, sight, smell, sound, and touch. Those who push the paper pen like me and the priestly class can take up vegetarianism but not those in the workshops and construction industries for they need the strength and stamina to work. Live life but never forget the underlying existence beneath each birth that has come to gain experiences and learn from these for it has either desired them or is back to make good the wrongs. Very soon we shall come to realize that destiny is what our soul has in store for us but sadly our ego follows what is fated. Agathiyar often comes to bring us back on track to reach our destiny but the stubborn, confused, and arrogant ego often turns a deaf ear. Here is where he then faces the full effect of fate beyond return. 

Then again on the other hand, when my wife requested something on behalf of her parents, Agathiyar told her he had to get Lord Siva's consent. Agathiyar did not dish out any miracle. The Siddhas never do magic. If there is an avenue for a miracle to take place then it shall happen. One has to have sufficient merits and obtain his grace first to bring the desired change. They had to study the situation and consequences of bringing any change and study one's past karma before doing something about it. But at least they try rather than shutting all possibilities to bring a change as do heads of missions intent on following tradition or the masters doing. We are caught in the respect and honor that is given to these robes and standing in the public eye. When we look for others to praise us and garland us, Agathiyar asked me to stop praising him and garlanding his statue. Instead, he asked me to look within me for the Agathiyar in me. Sadly many of us adorn the robe of a guru, master, or head and choose to remain behind doing what comes to us easily carrying on the tradition not wanting to break the hold of Maya. 

The Siddhas came to know God's divine play. That is why they dismissed it all as Maya. They saw through the divine game. Ramalinga Adigal saw it all and dismissed all his earlier understanding. He was moved to worship the very source, giving it the name Arutperunjothi. They escaped the trap. And so it is their sincere wish to help others understand it all and escape, too. Tavayogi broke my hold on him even before it could develop further. Later Agathiyar did not even allow me to fall into the trap of a guru deciding the role was unnecessary. Instead, he offered to make me a Siddha. It brought to my mind the vision that Supramania Swami had seen back then. In telling me that he saw the Arunachala as a fiery mountain, he said he saw Siddhas, Rishis, and Munis go about their work too. Then he surprised me saying I was there too amidst them. A devotee had a dream just after Tavayogi passed away where she saw him being ferried across a waterway by Lord Siva himself. In the distance was a mountain and on it were  Siddhas, Rishis, and Munis going about their work. This is what Agathiyar and my gurus desire for me and to be my destiny. But I can easily screw up my life and fall into the hands of fate anytime by my actions and speech. Though I desire to pass away peacefully without becoming senile, losing my mobility, or being a burden to another, I could die in a road mishap, a freak accident, a disease, or in a catastrophe among many others. Even the greatest of saints suffered in their last days. Be ready to accept what comes our way if all our moves do not bring us where we desire to be or what we desire. It is then either his will or our fate in action.

SANGEETHAM CLASS

The New AVM hosted a Sangeetham class conducted by Vimala Shanmugam and Praba Shanmugam this morning. A small group of children and adults participated. This is the third class after the first, which covered Siddha puja, 

and the second, which taught Yoga. 

It was a day of fun, joy, and learning.

ACHARYA GURUDASAN

Acharya Gurudasan whom we lovingly call Master Gowri, is back in town. He is here to conduct an initiation course in Babaji's Kriya Yoga. He who left Malaysia in 2016 after working here for several years used to come back to conduct these classes, held this time over the weekend beginning today. Upon landing having rested for a while he came over to Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) and conducted an abhisegam and spoke extensively about his favourite subject and his journey in pursuing it. 

Sri Gowri R Varadhan was introduced to us at AVM by Sri Balachander Aiya. Master Gowri used to speak at Satsangs organized by Sri Balachander for the local chapter of Babaji's Kriya Yoga. When we invited Gowri to teach yoga to members of AVM, he accepted readily and started a beautiful relationship between a master and his disciples. He has patiently conducted numerous classes for us.

Master Gowri was initiated as an Acharya on Sunday, March 6 2016 in Bangalore, conducted by Acharya Satyananda. Acharya Satyananda read a bio-sketch of Gurudasan from MG Satchidananda who originally initiated Gurudasan (Gowri) into Babaji's Kriya Yoga during the induction ceremony. 

"Born as Gowri Varadhan in Salem, Tamil Nadu (India), to parents Shri. Radhakrishnan and Shrimati. Kalavathi, Gowri obtained a Bachelor’s degree in Engineering, Information Technology and works as an investigative data analyst. His study of spirituality began during his teen years when he was introduced to the writings of Swami Vivekananda and he grew especially drawn to the teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi and Seshadri Swamigal of Tiruvannamalai. Being from the Tamil culture, Gowri greatly appreciates the various Tamil Siddha traditions and their perspective potentials in the context of God Realization. He is also initiated into Sri Vidya Sadhana. Understanding Advaita through the eyes of Ramana, Gowri was able to also understand and appreciate other schools of philosophy such as Dvaita and Vishishta Advaita as different perspectives of the same truth."

"In the early 2000’s, Gowri found the Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahamsa Yogananda, which introduced him to Mahavatar Babaji and Kriya Yoga. This, along with Babaji and 18 Siddha Kriya Yoga Tradition, by Marshall Govindan convinced him that Kriya Yoga was a perfected, scientific and authentic lineage of teachings of the Yoga Siddhas available for mankind to attain Self-realization. He was initiated into Babaji’s Kriya Yoga by Marshall Govindan Satchidananda in the year 2008 and has been practicing ever since."

"In 2012, while living in Canada, he was initiated in all the 144 kriyas, which were taught in three initiations and also took the intensive Babaji’s Kriya Hatha Yoga Training at the Quebec Ashram. Gowri has been studying, practicing and training to be an acharya for many years. He has served as translator in a number of Kriya Yoga initiations in India for the benefit of Tamil speaking population not comfortable with English. He married in 2014, and he and his wife Kiran currently live in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. He offers free Kriya Hatha Yoga classes every week there and leads Kriya Yoga Satsangs where group sadhana is practiced followed by discussions on spiritual matters."

"Gowri is deeply grateful for the support, guidance and encouragement received from MG Satchidananda ji, Durga ji, Satyananda ji, Nandi Devar, Vyasa and above all Sadhguru Babaji and Paramaguru Agasthiar. Gowri also feels the blessings of being born to parents who have supported him so whole-heartedly every moment of his life."

(Source: A post from Sadhana Yoga Shrushti.)

Currently, he works and lives in Kerala.