It has taken me 19 years to understand and comprehend what Tavayogi told me the very first day he stepped into my home in 2005. After inviting him over as I and my nephews sent him back to his temporary residence while visiting Malaysia, I voiced my joy and gratitude telling him that no Swami (or Holy man) had stepped into my home and that I was overjoyed having him come over. His reply stunned me as a bee's sting does. He said, "You are living in Maya. I am not a Swami as you think. I do not have anything (hidden) within my orange robe. Do not worship me. Worship Agathiyar." I was taken aback and remained silent all the way back to his residence. Though I felt confused and sad and could not figure out what he implied then, recently Agathiyar dwelt on this subject, clearing the air. He exposes the extent of Maya in covering the truth or rather creating an illusion of time and space and keeping us in the dark in all matters of creation and activity. In short, Agathiyar defines Maya as anything that goes through changes. Agathiyar challenges us to seek that which never changes. He asked that we seek that out. The only thing that does not change with time, and is not tied up with space, is the soul or Atma or to be specific the JeevAtma in all of us and all of creation. Live is but a series of fleeting moments. The soul watches it in silence.
If the planets are supposed to wreck our lives in this material world or deliver boons as the case might be, stepping onto the spiritual path and happily progressing in it to our surprise we are told that we encounter sabotage by the Devas. At least that is what I understand now from Agathiyar coming through a recent Nadi reading. We have heard of many instances of these in the mythical stories or Puranas. The one who comes out clear and clean from all this delusion and the divine play and game is the one who has attained Gnanam. This Gnanam brings him to distinguish the truth from the false. He beats Maya at its own game. But sadly we are lured by it just as we are lured by the pleasures of the material world. We can never beat it on our own. It is a losing battle. There is no escape from its clutches or hold without the grace of the Param or ParamAtma.
Call it God, the Almighty, the Divine, or Guardian Angels. Give it names such as Lord Shiva, Muruga, and Agathiyar. It does not matter. The truth is that this force and energy that is behind every creation and sustenance and that eventually brings an end to all life, and that veils the truth from our eyes, and showers its grace finally is forever shadowing us and sheltering us from harm's way.
As I look back to the past and also the past lives that Agathiyar had revealed in my twilight years I come to see how the divine had taken care that I did not fall from grace into disgrace and did not harm myself or others through my actions. I now wonder how I had the courage to do those things that I did. I am ashamed of it. The consequences of my actions if had come to others' attention would have ruined me. My life would have easily taken another path or to say the truth gone down the drain if it was not for the divine monitoring it. This was besides the baggage of Karma I had brought along from my past births that set the tone for this life. Agathiyar in revealing my pasts gave me the remedies too. He later told me in my Nadi reading that I needed the former experiences too and that it was he who created the conducive environment and drove me to act. He asked that I pardon myself. How can I repay him?
The divine was with me throughout my life. What was once an unseen hidden hand now has come before us to hear us out and give solutions, heal us at times, give us practices, and most importantly reveal the soul in us. The divine has come to reclaim its Self and bring it back with it or rather have it merge once more into its existence and the very existence. I am now his property or rather we were all his property from the very beginning but the individual Ego took claim of it. The Ego ventured to possess more and more, land, wealth, and women to add on to its treasures. It is only when the divine comes as a guru in the physical form or as the Self inherent in all of us for a handful, that the Ego is exposed and driven away or rather dropped. In dropping the Ego everything else drops on its own accord. There is now no effort needed to drop or let go. It comes naturally to us. The search ends. The seeking ends. We stand aloof from worldly affairs only giving minimal attention to things when called for. We are at peace with the Self. We are at peace with others.
At times I used to wonder why we stand before holy men, mendicants, and monks troubling them with our petty troubles. So too do we stand before the Siddhas in prayer seeking solutions. They have already left behind their material likings, issues, and troubles to search for inner peace and quietitude. They must have forgotten the means and the ways having lost touch with current times and the needs of ours. What they can offer is their experiences, the means and the ways, the methods, and the practices that they observed and carried out to arrive where they stand now. But we are not prepared to take on that role as yet for we are caught in the trap and lure of the world. To leave would be to discharge our duties and responsibilities, incur the wrath of others, and add to our existing karma.
How do we face pain and suffering? We pray that the pain and suffering ends. While looking for means to end the pain as in seeking medical attention, meanwhile we live the pain and suffering, exhausting a portion of our karma. Listening to our prayers, the divine comes to our aid as medical practitioners, treatments, procedures, and drugs that help bring relief.
How do we face death then? Fear and anxiety step in as there is no surety that we will last another day. We pray that our lives are extended. We want to live longer. But for what? Agathiyar says when the shelter or home that this soul built from scratch was on the verge of collapsing it is only logical for the soul to move house. Death is in actuality shifting to another home and another neighborhood, starting life anew with other souls as in living with new neighbors. Death doesn't end it all. What ends is the present life and the things that we have come to grasp. The soul keeps traveling moving in and out of numerous homes, exploring the world.
We should not think that the Siddhas or God would do our liking. They do not interfere with fate and what has been written unless called for. What is done cannot be undone but it can surely be repaired to a certain extent. Hence we see the Siddhas dishing out remedies when asked for. The soul or JeevAtma seeing us suffer due to our karma and our ways sends out an SOS that is picked up by the Param or ParamAtma. The Param lights up the path. A path is shown for us to travel henceforth. A new destiny is charted provided we heed the signs and live by it.
If someone were to ask me if I knew the others running the establishments in the name of Agathiyar in Malaysia, I would reply "Yes" and that I had been there but I chose to walk alone. In the days of my initial thirst and search to know about the worship of the Siddhas they let me down. I decided to pick up from whatever little I already had in my hands and whatever I read and moved on with my solo journey. But 11 years on in 2013 Agathiyar decided to bring seekers of his Nadi to my home to participate in my family puja. Then followed years of active hosting and participation of rituals both in homes and temples, and carrying out charity programs in old folks' homes and orphanages, for the homeless in the streets, and those who had a roof over them but found it a struggle to stay alive. Agathiyar then brought everything including the Puja, charity, and Satsang to a standstill in 2019 when it was at its peak, telling us that it was enough. My wife said we were high on it just as one is in the case of acute alcohol intoxication. Affirming that the journey was solo henceforth, Agathiyar said that the path was narrow and only one could travel at a time. We all went our separate ways. Since then, except for the daily upkeep of my health, I have been idling around doing practically nothing. Not sure if it was to be this way, as we are always used to doing something either for ourselves, others, or in the name of our gurus and God, I asked Agathiyar if there was anything else that I needed to do. "None" he answered.
When Tavayogi invited me to his ashram after we met for the very first time in Malaysia in 2005, and when Agathiyar in the Nadi reading I had, practically at the same time, requested that I visit Tavayogi's ashram and spent a couple of days, I left a month after his departure back to India. Upon arrival and staying with him, I was surprised that he too was whiling his time in silence, occasionally saying something to me that I did not comprehend until I walked the path too and came to experience them. Someone might drop by and bring him out or invite him to a function. Although that was about that, he volunteered to bring me to the places Agathiyar stipulated in my Nadi. He walked the extra mile for me showing proof of the existence of Siddhas though I never did comprehend them until I walked the path too and came to experience them.
Supramania Swami too having had an exciting time in his life carrying out 40 years of austerities or tavam, and doing Siddhis during this time, took to solitude in later years, visited only by those who wanted to know their horoscope or for some amulet or advice. That is when I was brought to him arriving at his village home after completing the last leg of my pilgrimage in 2003 as dictated by Agathiyar in the Nadi. He was to be my first guru. Spending some 5 magical hours with him on my first visit I later visited him in 2005 and stayed with him, now in his kudil that we helped build adjacent to his guru Ramsuratkumar's samadhi temple in Tiruvannamalai. I saw the simplicity in their lives. I saw the humbleness in them. I saw their faith in the divine. I saw their surrender to the Almighty. They never preached about God nor spoke about their achievements or experiences. I watched and learned. Just as Agathiyar is still a mystery, both my gurus too are a mystery. Except for the little information I gathered from Supramania Swami's family, and the little that Tavayogi shared as we traveled together, I hardly knew both my gurus.
When Agathiyar told me to come to the worship of the Siddhas in my first Nadi reading, I began to knock on doors seeking more guidance. But somehow the path and the worship were kept a secret by our pioneers then. Even the numerous books on Siddhas that I purchased from every bookshop that I came across and carried were repetitive. They were not personal accounts and experiences as in autobiographies or biographies but material put together from reading and research. They were too academic and mostly based on myths and legends, and Puranas. After I started my home puja I began to compile the songs in praise of the Siddhas for my own use. After my maiden pilgrimage to India in 2003 I began to write about my experiences. All these were in response to the existing gap and void and lack of personal accounts walking the path of the Siddhas. Then comes along Tavayogi who had actually walked the path. He gave us not theories and stories but had us put into practice the rituals and yoga asanas, taking us on a journey of exploration away from the favorite pilgrimage spots into the jungles and to the caves where the Siddhas are said to have roamed. My writings then revolved around him.
Soon with the coming of devotees to my home to participate in the puja, the rituals and songs that accompanied them were carried by them back into their homes too. These songs echoed in the halls of the temples where we conducted rituals too. Soon Agathiyar in 2022, giving me internal experiences that came about through the activation of the chakras and its energies traversing the body, asked me to share them with readers of this blog. Since then there was no stopping me. I happily shared them with co-seekers wanting to know. I asked them to share their experiences too and some did. This blog is a compilation of stories of mine and other devotees and their experiences. It is not academic. You will not find methods, teachings, practices, history, myth and legend. Neither am I a guru. We are all traveling together each experimenting with a thing or another and reporting back its results. We do not have codes of practices, codes to adhere to, rigid do's and don'ts, rules to upkeep, diet and menu to follow, etc. This path is one of discovery and learning from individual experiences. It is broad and expansive. As Tavayogi says one cannot possibly cage the soul, the soul should be free to explore the good, the bad, and the ugly. The soul should be allowed to explore and live out its desires and wants. For want of fulfillment of his desires, he had engaged with the world at large.
After walking numerous paths and arriving on the Siddha path and walking it too, one finally comes to a point where he sees the foolishness in pursuing further thinking there is more beyond the hills and the dales. He stops his search, and retires in solitude, resting his aching limbs and heart. It then dawns on him that true joy and happiness, bliss and fulfillment, was in him all this while. He settles within, making peace with himself, forgiving himself, and abiding in his Self. As Agathiyar told me that there was nothing more to do, he settles down keeping himself company. He is his own world. The external world and its affairs do not affect him henceforth. He is complete.
Our lives is a book that we write in. Do not stop at Chapter 1. Do not let your life end with just a Chapter. Begin to take a step forward and write the next chapter. Let each Chapter be another story. Let each Chapter be another phase of our lives. Keep on writing and it might turn out to be a Novel or an Autobiography.
"You asked who I am. I am magic. You are magic. Because we are a part of magic that may not be definable but is unmistakably there. What is magic to me? It is the feeling that my own heartbeat, my own breathing, is as a response to and in parallel with a heartbeat and a breath that is already there." - Harry Owen
"You are the sum total of the experiences you have worked out. I thought to become a hermit was the ideal spiritual situation to be in. But I realized that that is not the answer. Time has taught me that you can't live as an island. You need your fellowmen. You see yourself as a reflection of your fellowmen. And you learn from your fellowmen good things and bad things. And then you realize that all the material things you have gathered, there is no fulfillment of spirit and life. It is what you have acquired. The soul is the true wealth. I do not have an answer to why I am here. I think maybe to work at this." - Johann Moolman
"We feel lost, we feel alone as a species. And we are feeling that because we have systematically set ourselves out on a journey of separating ourselves. But we are absolutely a part and parcel of this. I just wish that everybody could feel what is there for us because you would not experience one moment of loneliness ever again. There is extraordinary wisdom around us. It's an evolved wisdom, a wisdom that has evolved over time. We just need to listen to those who are older and wiser and who have worked out how to live well and wisely. And those are the species that have been around longer than us. They are the trees. They are the animals. They are the microbes. If we could just take the intelligence we have and tamper it with wisdom..." - Sue Swain.
Watching the DW documentary "More Life - Decoding the Secret of Aging", I was surprised to learn that science now confirms that man's biological age limit is 122 years something I remembered reading back then in some Siddha text that stated that man could live some 120 years and that if he did he would begin to grow a new set of teeth. Saint Jeganatha Swami is said to have lived 145 years.
We also learn and are now told that the fountain of youth is inside us, something that the Siddhas knew and got working on it in the past. We learn that as we grow old the repair cells intended to heal too grow old and they do not go to the spot that needs to be repaired justifying what Agathiyar told me last Thursday that what was supposed to be a fact that the body heals on its own now has to be assisted as I was getting old too. Just as we are told that inflammatory sicknesses are elevated in old people, I understood the recurrence of the pain in my lower back that is a result of these inflammations. We are told that a man's hair was darkening all over the place, as vouchsafed by his wife, and that made the scientist pretty excited. Agathiyar in holding my hair tells me that it too is darkening and shows his sadness that people, even after seeing this do not believe in the possibility of reversing aging.
Just as New York has Peter Parker for a Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man who comes immediately to the aid of those in distress and danger, mine is Agathiyar. As promised my back is better now. I am able to do my routine and daily chores as usual after the tug in my lower back last Thursday crippled me the past two days. But is Agathiyar only here to heal our sore be it physical or mental? Is that what the Siddhas do? Are they here only to heal us as and when we call out to them? Any Siddha physician or a medical practitioner can do the same, right? Are they only here to perform miracles though it does help capture our attention and seek to want to do the same, which is also not the ultimate reason they are here with us. Are they only here to look into our past and dish out remedies for our past karmas?
Velayutham Karthikeyan Aiya who started the blog Siththan Arul, writing on the origin of the Jeeva Nadi, posted the following way back then. Here is a translation of the piece.
The Siddhas had wished that whoever seeks out the Siddhas for solutions to their problems and surrenders to the Siddhas, shall be pardoned for their past deeds, however bad and evil they may be, and shall not be put through trial and tribulations and made to face the consequences but instead be saved. Erai granted the Siddhas their wish. The next instant the Siddhas wrote down; the reasons for each individual’s sufferings; listed out solutions and remedies; and showed ways and means to overcome or end the seeker's problems, sins, diseases, illnesses, and sufferings. They wrote them in Tamil prose on dried palm leaves. These writings came to be known as the Nadi.
What then is unique about these Siddhas that places them above man as a whole? Above and beyond this desire of theirs to bring us to right the wrong we did and that we knowing or unknowingly do still carry on doing, they wanted us to get in touch with our soul or JeevAtma and find our purpose here. The soul would then lead us on the path that we are to pursue after we surrender to the divine will, letting go of our desires and wants, aspirations and addictions. The soul brings us to the guru who is yet another personification of the ParamAtma. If the soul unknown to us brings us to the guru, vice-versa the guru draws the veil aside and shows us the soul or JeevAtma or the Self in us.
But sadly we fall short of seeking favors from the Siddhas and never want to venture to know the soul. And so we come again and again and again and again, just as I had taken crores of births says Agathiyar. Even now I am nowhere close to knowing the Param that IS. All the reading and listening to the stories of the attainments of the Siddhas does not make us a Siddha. All the pilgrimages, the reviews, and the Satsangs neither serve to bring us to this state. As my wife says all the puja and charity we did brought on a high in us, we keep cheating ourselves thinking that this is it and that we are on the path of the Siddhas or even worse self-proclaiming ourselves as Siddhas. It is only when we get to see through the veil that everything that keeps changing is Maya or an illusion, that we settle eventually in that which is changeless. We come to know our soul. We know that our soul and the Param are one. We are the One or Yegan. We arrive at the state of Samadhi.We then abide in the Self.
Lately, my 3 dosas have been playing havoc again. Yesterday morning while wearing my pants to go for my routine walk, I felt a tug in the middle of my lower back that crippled me again. Lord Murugan came in a devotee later in the evening and brushed my causal body with the peacock feathers again while Agathiyar came and asked that I heat up 2 types of oil and apply them on my back again. He asked me to go for physiotherapy again. History is repeating. If clearing my throat during my morning shower brought on a similar pain in 2010 that crippled my movements for some 2 1/2 years, in 2018 a sneeze that came on while crossing the road did the same. I was blessed to have Agathiyar come through the Nadi in the former and Lord Murugan come simultaneously in the Nadi and a devotee in the latter to heal and dish out remedies. It is 4 am now and as Agathiyar said that I should be better in the morning, I am able to sit and write this post. When one begins to age there is only this much that the Siddhas can do too for they keep reminding us to achieve the state of Jothi before 60 after which it is unattainable as the body would not cooperate and withstand the total transformation that goes into the making of a golden body. I have missed the golden opportunity. I would be 65 this year.
We are told in the movie "Kalank" that a dying person must fix their karma and not their health. That seems to be some sound advice.
Just as there are many priorities in each phase of our lives, there are many meanings to things at different moments in our lives too. For instance, what is perceived earlier as a song of prayer from Avvai to a kid, changes to become a song potent with a recipe for health to a student of Siddha medicine, and becomes a song of Gnanam for one treading the path under the surveillance of a guru to know himself.
Similarly, pain and suffering start in the causal body or Karana Degam which moves into the gross and physical body bringing it on. What determines the cause is the past actions in the present or earlier lives, be it the good, the bad, or ugly of us, that rewards us with goodies as in the former or is brought into this life as Vasanas either seeking justice or to square it off as in the latter two.
Since we are so used to seeing and perceiving directly through our senses and having the mind interpret them based on our past visions, hearing, smell, touch, and taste or the teachings and learnings from books and others, our mind is clouded. We do not go beyond the physical world and its play or illusions. We dress ourselves for this great play and the role we have taken. The guru comes to bring in the light, clearing the air, and having us see our true Self or Atman or JeevAtma. One who knows the Self or Atman or JeevAtma indeed knows himself to be one with the ParamAtma. There is no disparity or distinction between the two. He is then the One or Yegan.
Information and technology are at our fingertips these days. We can keep count on almost anything. Blogger keeps count of my blog's readership views. I can keep count of the distance I walk and the number of steps I take using an app. Sadly AI is used in warfare too to target people too. Man has achieved much in a short time. If all these resources are targeted at the masses, those who decide to step out of the mainstream and venture into knowing the Self are few and apart. Just as there is a need for genuine and true masters as we have had in the past, there is a need for genuine and true disciples too.
Whether I succeed in returning home with this form or leave it behind or come back to take another form and live the cycle again is anybody's guess. Though the journey has been simplified in present times it is so long that it is not possible to complete it in one lifetime. We have to stop and assess ourselves as to where we stand each time. But what is the yardstick to compare with? The saints and gurus before us who had traveled the path and spoken about it are our only source of reference. We are fortunate if we have a personal guru who tags along on our journey. I was blessed to have had two wonderful gurus who helped me start and helped shape me. The Siddhas did the rest. I am grateful to them.
As Agathiyar says eventually the guru can only come that far, and we have to go on alone, but fear not for he shall wait for us at the finish line or rather he was there all the while for us but we never saw him as we were stunned by the stage lights, sights and sounds the world has to offer and followed our senses. But if we could use them for a bigger purpose that is to know the Self, they shall abide in the Self eventually.
Separation is seen in Sariyai when we stand apart from the deities and worship them. Separation is seen in Kriya where we stand apart from one another and think that we are serving them or carrying out charity. Separation is seen in Yogam until we realize this union with God, Others, and the Self. He calls this separation as Viyoga and a delusion. The method of removing this delusion is Yoga. Once we realize the Self we have attained Gnanam. We can safely drop all of the former Sadhanas. Bhagawan Ramana1 says they are all Sadhanas or means and will not be necessary after Gnanam is attained. I now understand that Agathiyar in asking me to drop my attachment on him was in fact asking me to end the separation thinking that we were separate. When I replied asking him how was I to end my attachment, he replied asking me "Aren't we one?" Starting us take off from Sariyai where our parents had brought us to, Agathiyar through the guru showed us to Kriyai where we did rituals and charity. The guru and Agathiyar then introduced us to Yogic practices that brought us to Gnanam, to finally know and realize that the Self and He were one.
1. "Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi" published by Sri Ramanashramam, 2006.
If I were to be hit by a car and die on the spot tomorrow or if I were to succumb to an incurable disease and suffer, many would ask, "How come Agathiyar did not save him?" or "How come Agathiyar did not heal him?"
Well, I did ask God these questions back then too. If the Buddha as a prince wanted to know why people suffered, I did ask why my colleagues and friends and their families suffered back then in the 80s when I was a bachelor. My question was put on hold for a very long time - some 14 years. I heard a relative hit by a vehicle moments after she had offered prayers at a temple. I had a devotee knock into a stationary lorry moments after his Nadi reading. When I came to learn that a young lad in his 20s suffered burns as a result of a gas stove exploding and passed away, I too was shocked. He was a staunch devotee of Agathiyar taking up the worship from his parents and uncle. Someone asked me why Agathiyar did not foresee or forewarn him as he had access to the Nadi readers. I had no explanation back then. Traveling for some 22 years with him, I have yet to get some answers. We just do not know their play or Lila. We do not have access to the blueprint and the secrets of life and death, on who should live and who should go.
Even the saints and gurus are not exempted. I asked Agathiyar why he had Tavayogi meet with an accident and go through the suffering back then. Tavayogi was knocked down while riding a bike into town days after conducting the annual Jayanthi puja for Agathiyar. He had to be treated away from his ashram in a distant town for several months. When I finally reached Tavayogi and spoke over the phone, he brushed it aside very lightly telling me "Let it be my son. It was my Karma."
An account of Bhagawan Ramana's last days is given by B.V. Narasimha Swami in "Self Realization - The Life and Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi" published by Sri Ramanasramam, 1985. It is too difficult for me to post the excerpt as I was already in tears reading it. Ma Devaki speaks amidst tears, about the last days of Yogi Ramsuratkumar. It is rather difficult to watch the video. If we refrain from having visitors when we have a slight headache or bodily pain, in all their moments of pain, they never stop blessing those who arrive to see them. Ma Devaki says the Yogi would lift a hand, then another, and even his legs to bless them when he could not use his other limbs. Bhagawan Ramana would drag himself twice a day to sit among his disciples for an hour. When he was incapable of making even these few steps, devotees filed past his room in queues.
We could never fill their shoes. That is the strength of these gurus. Then we have devotees like Ma Devaki who asked that the Yogi pass on his sufferings to her for the world needed the Yogi to be around. Again we could never fill the shoes of devotees like her too.
People who have been there and back can certainly throw some light on life and death as Antony David Cicoria narrates his experience. Watching this and other videos of Near Death Experiences strengthens the belief that the angels are all with us but do not show themselves unless the need to come to our aid arises. And they come through us, humans.
In BBC Earth's series on the "Ancient Powers", we are told how the ancient Greeks secured their rule in Egypt and ensured the legions of its people after Alexander's death. One of his generals who becomes the first in a new line of Pharoah who all take his name after that, embarks on a massive building campaign. By commissioning temples, they could extend their authority to the southernmost reaches of their kingdom."
One wonders about all the other temples now and their origins.
God does not dictate man. One man dictates another. Though man is given free choices to chart his destiny he opts to submit to fate. Agathiyar says my love for him is so great that the mere mention of his name intoxicates me. There is a downside to it though he warns. People could use our devotion and faith in him for their interest. He warns me that others could take me for a ride using this weakness. He asks that I be aware and to beware of these manipulators, using his name and guise.
When I was open to Agathiyar's messages coming from various sources be it through the Nadi reading, through devotees, gurus, masters, teachers, books, movies, etc I was surprised when others only wanted to listen from Agathiyar through the Nadi or their guru's words. Some say that they were in direct communion with him and refuse to hear from elsewhere, shutting the door. This brings me to the story of Dattatreya who is said to have "reached self-awareness by observing nature during his Sannyasi wanderings and treating natural observations as his twenty-four teachers. Dattatreya considered the entire Universe and its creations as his teachers, for each of them taught him something useful - such was his greatness and humility."
It is said that Agathiyar who told us that he was the very Prapanjam and that the Prapanjam was in him too, took lessons directly from the plants and herbs that filled him on their properties. He used this knowledge in his practice of Siddha medicine. Such was his humility. In the TV series "Harmony with AR Rahman", we see the humility of the musician sitting at the feet, as a disciple sits before his guru, of other musicians wanting to explore and learn the musical instruments and vocal traditions of their regions. This is humility and humbleness to the core.
The 24 teachers of Dattatreya are listed at https://www.dollsofindia.com/library/dattatreya/.
Mother Earth taught Dattatreya tolerance, patience and forbearance; Water taught him to comfort others; Fire taught him not to be judgmental; Air taught him to be unfettered; Space taught him to be unattached; Sun taught him to cheer up everyone; Snake taught him to drop desires and ownership; Python taught him to be flexible; Moon taught him to remain unaffected; Ocean too taught him to remain unaffected; Butterfly touch him to be unattached; Dove taught him love and peace; Fish taught him not to fall for temptation; Honeybee taught him to labor; Deer reminded him to be ever wary of people who exploit others; Elephant taught him to remember; Bumblebee reminded him not to hurt; The Prostitute Pingala taught him dedication; Eagle taught him not to hoard; Child taught him not to hold grudges; The Village Girl reminded him not to disturb others; Arrow-maker taught him to focus on the work on hand and concentration; Spider taught him to remain free and unattached; and finally a Wasp taught him intent and perseverance.
Agathiyar had me learn lessons by calling me to his path. He exposed the effect of Karma on our lives and as the reason for taking numerous births. He also pointed out that desires that arise in the present or Vasanas or unfulfilled desires we brought with us have to germinate, bloom and flower. These could be pleasant or unpleasant. He also pointed out that just as past Karma, Vasanas, and new desires bring forth another birth, merits gained and earned through bhakti or devotion, our service, and interaction with humanity or at least a part of it that is the immediate family, relatives, friends, colleagues, strangers on the street, community, society, and nation all merit another birth too. I understand now why my first guru Supramania Swami told me that he had to leave the merits earned in his 40 years of tavam or carrying out austerities behind. He passed it to me.
Agathiyar held a one-hour class on anger management in the Nadi and came several times in later years finally asking for his staff or Vaasikol as would a discipline master brandish his cane, all just to have me drop my anger.
In sending Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal to our shores, he had me drop my attachment to all things material telling me "We don't need them, son". Both my gurus were an exemplar of humbleness.
In coming as the bronze statue in 2010 and leaving for another devotee's home in 2023, he had me drop even my attachment to his form. But he is now back in my home after I came to terms with the truth of the matter. Recently in appreciating my willingness to part with his statue, he told me that now I have to even drop my attachment towards him. How could I do that? He is my world now. He has come to replace everything in my life. I only know him. I cannot have a conversation without bringing him into the conversation. My mind dwells around him and his greatness. My body, breath, and soul are filled with gratitude for him. So when I put forth the question as to how was I supposed to forget him he replied coolly "Aren't we one".
Indeed when we are one where does Shanmugam Avadaiyappa come into the picture? Where does he come into the story? Where does he reside? What action is his? Shanmugam Avadaiyappa fades away from existence. Only Agathiyar exists. Only Agathiyar Is.
I understood that he was not speaking about Shanmugam Avadaiyappa as being Agathiyar but that our souls just like everyone who has realized him will deem to come to know, are one. We are one in the manner of the soul. The JeevAtma that initiated the formation of a solid mass from the act of conceiving, that became the embryo and fetus, and an infant and child later that grew into a toddler and kid, a teen and a young adult and full grown adult and finally ages is one with the ParamAtma. Though in returning home upon death, we return to him, but if one could realize him while alive that would be the state of Samadhi, going back to the source. As we learn from the documentary "Samadhi" - Part 1 - "Maya, the Illusion of the Self" that "To realize Samadhi is to learn to die before you die", it echoes Ramalinga Adigal's and the rest of the Siddhas words about the need to learn the art or Kalai of Dying without Dying in the real sense or Saagaamal Saagum Kalai.
When Tavayogi and I left Trichy after putting up a night at a hotel, for the hills of Kutralam and a surprise stay overnight at Agathiyar's cave, Tavayogi turned to me with a cheer and told me "Only now the true journey begins my son". I did not know what he meant and what was in store then. It has taken me some 19 long years to realize.
Dr. C. Srinivasan in his book "An Introduction to the Philosophy of Ramalinga Swami", mentions that "Ramalinga Adigal has tasted the bliss of all the sixteen stages contemplated by the Vedas."
Yogi Ramsuratkumar says "Emancipation was not the end for this beggar, rather it was the beginning for him." (Yogi Ramsuratkumar - The Godchild of Thiruvannamalai" by Truman Caylor Wadlington)
Agathiyar tells us that death was only the beginning of another journey too.
In the documentary "Samadhi" - Part 1 - "Maya, the Illusion of the Self" we are told that contrary to common belief, Samadhi is only the beginning of another journey.
Furthermore, this documentary jolts us from our sleep. We are asked to ponder several questions.
"Before it becomes possible to awaken it is necessary to accept that you are asleep living in the matrix. Examine your life honestly without lying to yourself. Are you able to stop your robotic repetitive life patterns if you want to? Can you stop seeking pleasure and avoiding pain? Are you addicted to certain foods, activities, or pastimes? Are you constantly judging, blaming, and criticizing yourself or others? Does your mind incessantly seek out stimuli or are you completely fulfilled just being in silence? Do you react to how people think about you? Are you seeking approval or positive reinforcement? Do you somehow sabotage situations in your life?"
"Most people will experience their lives the same way today as they will tomorrow, a year from now, and ten years from now. When you begin to observe your robotlike nature, you become more awake. You begin to recognize the depth of your problem. You are completely and utterly asleep, lost in a dream. Most who hear this truth will not be willing or capable of changing their lives because they are attached to their familiar patterns. We go to great lengths to justify our patterns, burying our heads in the sand rather than facing the truth. We want our saviors but we are not willing to get up on the cross ourselves."
Ramalinga Adigal in listing the numerous stages and charting out the many levels of the soul's journey and its spiritual experiences says that there are still higher stages that he hesitates to express. So for one who says he knows all and the journey has ended approach with caution.
When Agathiyar came recently he asked the womenfolk to gather and hold a Satsang among themselves. Agathiyar who sat through the session coming in a devotee later told them to write about their experiences and pass it to me to be uploaded on this blog. My daughter shares her experiences as follows.
When I sit back and think, I’ve journeyed quite a long time with Agathiyar Appa looking out for me. It makes me feel so blessed and think about what I have done to be this fortunate.
I came into introduction with Agathiyar in my schooling years when my father, Mr. A. Shanmugam began his journey of Siddha worship. Initially guiding us through the Naadi, he then came into our hearts and homes in his stunning bronze statue form where we used to do Abhishegam and pooja for him.
It started with only my parents, sister and me. Then joined by our friends, family, and new acquaintances who later became our Agathiyar family. We did Poojas and Homa every Thursday and on Pournamis, sang Bhajans for him and other deities on all their special days. We gave Annadhanam to kids/elderly homes and for the homeless people. I’d join in whenever possible as I was already studying away from home after that.
There are many instances I can recall when we either felt his presence or had him guide us when we were in doubt and most of all he’ll be there to give us remedies for our health issues too.
In 2010, I met in an accident where I had a clean fracture of my tibia and fibula and was asked to go through an operation for speedy recovery. While waiting for my turn for the operation, Agathiyar advised through a Naadi reading to only go through a small procedure and after some time another doctor suggested a procedure done very briefly without having the need for an operation known as ACP Injection. I recovered soon after going through a few rounds of the mentioned procedure and started walking again.
In 2016, the Siddhas graced and blessed my husband and me at our wedding. We were told about this by Tavayogi and Mathaji who attended our wedding. After getting married, having kids, and having a routine of my own, I’d continue to join the prayers held at my parents' place or other devotees' homes whenever I could.
There was one time when I told Agathiyar that I had slipped and fell at the waterfall, and he asked another devotee to help massage. He also taught a few yoga poses which helped stretch and ease my pain.
Earlier this year, my husband had a heart attack and had to undergo an emergency coronary angioplasty. Despite the fact that it was a very critical situation and with so much uncertainty, I had a calm come over me as the specialist briefed me on the procedure and risks while waiting for his team to assemble for the procedure. A few weeks later, at another prayer gathering, Agathiyar told me that he was there looking after us and all would be okay.
In recent days, Agathiyar has been strictly emphasizing us to practice the breathing exercise he had taught us a few years back. He insists that we take care of our health by consuming healthily and keeping ourselves physically fit too. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, I’ve not been religiously doing my breathing exercises but deep down I know it’s only for our benefit for he sees beyond what we can see in our bodies.
I’m forever grateful for the countless blessings he’s given us all this while and for watching out for us.
[8:58 am, 24/04/2024] Praba.
My daughter had written about Agathiyar and her experiences in her own blog back then when she had more time on her hands.
Watching the documentary "Samadhi" - Part 1 - "Maya, the Illusion of the Self", we receive the answer to the ever-bugging question as to whether we should involve or remain passive in the face of adversity.
"It is important to know that when we accept reality As It Is it doesn't necessarily mean that we stop taking action in the world, or we become meditating pacifists. Actually, the opposite can be true. When we are free to act without being driven by unconscious motives, then it is possible to act in alignment with the Tao, with the full force of our inner energy behind us."
We are told of a saying in Zen, "Before enlightenment chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment chop wood and carry water." "Before enlightenment, one must roll the ball up the hill. After enlightenment, one must also roll the ball up the hill." What has changed? The inner resistance to what is. The struggle has been stopped. Or rather the one who struggles has been realized to be illusory. The individual will or individual mind and the divine will or higher mind are aligned" This is Samadhi. "Samadhi is ultimately a dropping of all resistance to all changing phenomena without exception. The one who is able to realize inner peace irrespective of circumstances has attained true Samadhi."
We are told that resistance is suffering. In coming to terms with it and seeing it as an experience we shall accept it. We come to accept that all is the work of Maya which is ever-changing and never lasting. Our sorrows and sufferings too shall come to pass. This reminds me of Tavayogi brushing aside all problems telling us that Agathiyar shall take care. This reminds me of Agathiyar brushing aside the pain in my lower back that I endured for 2 1/2 years saying that it was illusionary.
In having us go through the phases of Sariyai, Kriyai, Yogam, and Gnanam, having us engage actively in working on the external and internal transformation, eventually, Agathiyar has brought us to the state of inactivity and halt our active participation. When the work or task we desire to do stops, we can take on his desire and tasks. He has us know the soul or Jeeva(Atma) and then live as a JeevanMukta carrying out his tasks and mission.
Just for a start as an elementary school teacher simplifies the teachings for the sake of her students to easily understand the concepts, and as we go up the ladder and as the learning curve intensifies, we are given the raw facts to chew, Sariyai simplified God showing him in the idols; Kriyai showed us the guru in physical form as God; Yogam showed us, God, as residing within as our breath; and Gnanam finally pierced all the earlier understanding and has us drop all our earlier hold on things, belief, learnings, and practice. Now standing stark naked we confront the soul or Atma and its teachings. Similarly, a song of the lady saint Avvai that is a song in praise of Lord Ganapathy for the children turns out to be a song laden with a recipe for good health, when Dr.Bhani took up Siddha medicine and finally was said to be a song of Gnanam when he came under the tutorship of Yogi Ramaiah.
I told Agathiyar that I would like to see him as God for all, regardless of what caste or creed they were, immaterial of their financial standing and social status. I told him if he was only to help me and my family, or believers and followers, and shut the others out, I do not want him. He who was introduced through a form and name in the Nadi reading and called me to his path soon came as the guru who told me that Agathiyar was God, then was Siva, and later the breath, and Light, came as a statue, walked along with us, showed himself coming through devotees, and finally came as the Prapanjam that is acceptable to all faiths and believers fulfilling my humble request.
God and the Siddhas are no one person's possession nor can one lay a stake on them. The concept of God is for all. In championing the cause some tend to get carried away and lay claim to God and the Siddhas, their ways and methods, the rituals and practices. I fear that someday someone might even claim copyright to them and their works.
In our eagerness to campaign for the cause of the Siddhas, we tend to turn ugly. If back then man was divided by caste and creed, and some were forbidden from entering temples and holy places, coming to the spiritual path, we begin to differentiate mankind based on karma and merits, his diet and his hunger for knowledge, etc. The numbers as in attendance and following classes and teachings, and the numbers as in the number of initiations received, etc, segregate them further. In laying rules and codes it further distances many from coming forward. In mentioning and laying claim that only those who qualify can come into the path or qualify to stay further, the question arises as to who are we to talk about others' karma when we carry the baggage too? Who are we to decide who is eligible or otherwise when we are nowhere close to achieving the state of a Siddha? Would anyone have imagined Arunagiri becoming a saint? For all the sins I have committed it is a surprise that Agathiyar took me into his fold too. A sinner has an equal opportunity to walk the path with those who are pious. All borders and distinctions are the work of man. God does not divide and rule.
Then there are the fear mongers in all fields be it in reading the Astrology, in reading the Nadi, in practicing Siddha medicine, in carrying out rituals and worship, etc. The stakeholders tend to add to the facts, and manipulate the facts for their personal gains, etc. Taking up the role of a spokesperson for the Siddhas and other gurus too, some followers do tend to go overboard promising the sky. There is no harm in praising one's guru but we need to know the limits. Do not glorify them and make promises. Even Agathiyar does not promise but has us place the required efforts and be patient for time to unfold the goodies. Agathiyar asks us to stop praising him and look within for our souls.
When a Russian in a wheelchair messaged me asking if Tavayogi could heal him, I replied that I did not know. He soon went over to Kallar ashram. Tavayogi later told me that he could not help him. When a reader from Delhi messaged me if Tavayogi could clear his blockages, the result of taking up several practices simultaneously, I told him to see his masters. Sadly his masters could not help him. I told him the same that I had not seen Tavayogi heal anyone. After 8 years when I reached out to him, he was still in pain.
I shudder to think where all these shall lead to. I guess the Siddhas and gurus themselves have to come down and bring a close to all these false claims. As a devotee said Agathiyar at AVM accepts all and then begins to work on having them drop whatever they hold dear to them and never rejecting anyone on the onset for being a nonvegetarian or nonbeliever or a sinner or for numerous other unthinkable reasons that we come across, if anyone out there has been rejected for various reasons you are free to walk into AVM. We do not discriminate but shall invite you with open arms. We shall travel together exploring the realm of the Siddhas and learning their secrets to living a worthwhile and purposeful life.
Just as we learn in the documentary "Astrum" that the light we are looking at is old," and that "Although light is the fastest thing we know, the image of the sun that we see from the earth is approximately 8 minutes and 20 seconds old, meaning we are viewing what the sun looked like a few minutes in the past", and "If you count how long it takes the photons generated within the sun's core to make their way through each layer of the sun before escaping into space, the light that reaches us is anywhere from 10,000 to 170,000 years old", Agathiyar says that like the sun and all things Gnanam dispense to one steps back into the past immediately after it is uttered, hence the reason he asks us to connect with the Prapanjam directly so that we would receive its message directly and not forget or rely on memory.
Living in the present is important, especially in the presence of a guru. But what we do is begin to vomit all that we saw, learned, and experienced before him, revisiting the past. Now we understand the reason we are asked to remain silent in the presence of the guru so that we might imbibe the messages that arrive in real-time and not dwell on the past knowledge or cook up the next question. I saw seekers going on for hours questioning Tavayogi when he was in a local Peedham or went on his rounds officiating other Peedhams. It is said that Lord Dhakshanamurthy stopped speaking to his disciples when he realized that it only invited more questions and queries from them. The moment he remained silent Gnanam dawned on his disciples.
The Siddhas will free you and never keep you captive. If we had been instilled with fear and devotion in temple worship, we carry that into the worship of Siddhas too. We fear the guru now. We begin to get caught in another web of Maya having slipped out of the former. Learn to say no even if Agahiyar was to give you an honorary title. One can say that he did not ask but Agathiyar has conferred on him, asked yourself if you would accept death then if Agathiyar was to bestow it right now. Know that this is how the Siddhas test us. Know that this is how the vasanas and desires in us come out into the open and see fruition. Rather than live out these desires and bring on and add further Karma, one should pray that Agathiyar burns these vasanas even before they arise in us. When Agathiyar sent two youths and asked that I initiate them into his mantra and teach them Vaasi or breathing techniques, he added that henceforth I shall be guru to them. I had never wanted to be one. But he said that I had asked for it. I was perplexed. I guess it was a vasana in me that was granted now. But as I was not keen he cut off the bond even before it could grow further. They never came around again.
Asking me to build a temple for him in my first Nadi reading in 2002, which I considered a privilege then, and was floating on cloud nine, he burst the cloud and I landed on my face almost immediately when Sivabalan, who accompanied me in the reading and who had the readers come over from India and stay at his family home, told me that Agathiyar had requested 50 others the same. As Sivabalan told me to pursue since none had responded, I began to scout for an existing temple that its committee would allow to have me place Agathiyar. None agreed to part with the space they had. I dropped my search.
When Supramania Swami ignited the flame again telling me that he wanted to build a temple for Lord Murugan in Tiruvannamalai and asked for financial assistance, we went ahead to buy a piece of land close to his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar's samadhi temple. But a stranger walks up to him at his cottage or kudil he built at the site while awaiting for the temple to materialize and asks him why he was stepping back into Bakthi from Gnanam. He dropped his intention immediately. But when Agathiyar directed Tavayogi, to Agathiyar Vanam in the Kallar foothills after his bout of travels that brought him to Sathuragiri, and asked him to build an ashram and temple Tavayogi said that it was for the people. We helped him build a new ashram cum temple some 2 kilometers away later.
In 2018, Lord Murugan in a Nadi reading brought up the subject of the temple asking me to build one for him adding that I would do it differently when I asked him silently in my mind how many more temples he wanted. I wondered how different could a temple be? Later he sends Agathiyar to coax me into doing it coming through a devotee. As I chose to remain silent he went on and told me that he shall do it. As the said time of 18 months approached and there was nothing up, he told me in his Nadi that he had tested me. I guess I had passed his test.
Recently in coming through a devotee, he says that my home was the temple that Lord Murugan meant. Just days ago he tutored me sharing his Gnanam telling me that what was built on the ground shall perish but that which we built in our hearts shall be forever in existence. I guess we had all carried the Siddhas and the deities in our hearts for Agathiyar revealed that we have been together for crores and crores of years. In pointing out to us that everything that materialized was a product of Maya that is apt to constant change, he dared us to find out that which never changes. The Atma in us is eternal. He asked that we begin to know it. In knowing it we shall come to know that he, all the Siddhas, deities, and us are one.
When Suren who returned from India, passed me a couple of audio Cd's that he had received from Dr.V.N.Jayapalan in Bangalore, I listened to his songs on Agathiyar and the narration of the origin of Agathiyar's temple at Agasthiyampalli. When we heard that the visiting Siddha physician was in town we went over to meet him. I was pretty eager and excited to know more about Agasthiyampalli as it was here that Agathiyar opened his left eye in his granite statue to see us when I traveled with Tavayogi to the Siddha abodes in town and in the jungles in 2005. But the Dr. disappointed me telling me that there wasn't anything else to say. It told me that it was all in the Cd. He went on to speak about many other things that were of no interest to me then. But today I appreciate and understand his stand pretty well. Time and experience have taught me a lesson. As he did not elaborate further he did not alter the facts. What was conveyed to him through his meditation came to us As It Is.
In the days of my Nadi reading the reader would write out the revelations taking a transcript of what Agathiyar spoke telling me that it was Agathiyar's directive, and only then begin to explain and elaborate further. But as the Nadi picked up and he had long queues of people waiting to read, he skipped writing it for me and went on to read and translate immediately. Coming back home I would listen and extract only the words of Agathiyar and continued writing it out. I was only interested in knowing the exact words that Agathiyar spoke and not the explanations. Recently in exposing Maya in all fields, Agathiyar pointed out that the tools and mediums could fabricate, and instill fear and anguish in listeners not with intent but in their excitement to explain the contents in the Nadi.
In 2017, when Suren and I sought to know the origin of Agathiyar as they say from the horse's mouth after being disillusioned with reading, hearing, and watching from numerous sources, Agathiyar though he hesitated for a moment in the Nadi, asking us why we wanted to explore the source, Aadhi and Antham, obliged us by giving us a little insight into his birth. But on the onset he instructed in the Nadi that the reader should read it As It Is and not attempt to give an explanation or elaborate further.
Agathiyar told me and others some time back to read the original texts of the songs of the saints and not to go for the translation, commentary, and explanations given. He told us that the author be it a Siddha or Nayanmar or other saints shall come within to clarify what they had experienced As It Is. As the mediums are bound to taint the sacredness of the sacred texts and words of saint, Siddhas, Rishis, and Mahaans, with their explanations and commentaries, Agathiyar has us refrain from reading them to avoid confusion. Only the saint knows what he meant to speak or write. Besides the fact that we could err in our understanding of the subject, we could end up giving limbs and forms, tags, and names to these in wanting to simplify them for the masses.
Spiritualism is not about acquiring but of letting go. Life that begins with acquiring things, concepts, etc has to end empty. If we had acquired every material possible right from the very cells to a body and attire and position and respect, money and fame, properties and achievements, all these has to go either forcefully in death or willingly before facing death.
It is not that we should not taste life and the pleasures that it has to offer but to be ready to drop them when called for. It is about not getting attached. For one who has emptied himself what appears eventually as darshan is his soul. This is Atma Darisanam. He stands naked and uncloth having dropped the numerous veils and layers. He has entered emptiness or Vetavezhi loosely translated as Eternity.
I was a follower back then as a kid, obedient and respectful. I took up worship after leaving my family home and taking up a career upon completing my college studies. Actually, it was to fill my time or rather kill my time after work. I used to worship at dawn and dusk and visit the temples in the vicinity. I made friends with others and their families and began to see the troubles they went through. I began to question God if it was justified to just sit and watch them suffer. Wasn't a God who is said to be compassionate supposed to save his devotees and keep them from harm's way? Seeing my mind in turmoil Lord Shiva came in a dream in 1988 and told me to shelve all my questions to a later date. I got the answer to their sufferings when I saw the Nadi after 14 years in 2002 where Agathiyar opened up about Karma and its effects mentioning that I too had brought with me the baggage. He gave me remedies to help unload the baggage. Three years into the first reading all doors opened up mysteriously. With the coming of my guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai who merited me his entire 40 years of Tavam or austerities it skyrocketed me up the ladder as in the game of snake and ladder. As I took up the call to come to the worship of the Siddhas in the Nadi and inherited "the cash deposit" that I received from my guru, my second guru whom I met in 2005 told me that he was surprised that I had made it this far unscathed and hurt. Taking up his teachings in the absence of Supramania Swami then, I was shown Agathiyar officially. Traveling the journey carrying out rituals and Yoga that Tavayogi taught us, Agathiyar came to add to the Gnanam that we received from him. On Wednesday he asked us to even drop that too adding to the long list of gifts and treasures Agathiyar gifted us and had us drop later. He tells us that all these were booby traps laid out on the path to trap us and keep us in the clutches of Maya further. It is all his divine play.
Agathiyar asks us to quit investigating into his origin and stop singing his praises and wonders but instead wants us to investigate our souls. Prod the soul and come to know it, he asks. I was surprised when a staunch devotee of a saint who lived some 353 years ago, uttered Agathiyar's mantra when Agathiyar asked what mantra was going on in him. I was expecting him to recite his guru's name and mantra. I believe his soul replied then. In coming before us Agathiyar always addresses our souls. But we misunderstand and think he is asking the name and form that we believe is us. We come before him asking for favors and seek boons that bring on pleasures and comfort. We let him know our worldly desires, which he time and again reminds us to drop. But yet he gives his blessings. But one must remember to face the consequences of our asking, either way, whether it does us good or harm later, alone.
If we had our parents and grandparents to guide us in the beginning and teachers later, for those seeking to know themselves, the gurus come along. But Agathiyar tells us that like other gurus he is only there to show us the way. He does not produce the results for us. We have to strive and work to accomplish the results.
Just as we keep our homes clean and tidy, he asked that we keep our body, mind, and thoughts pure. This would suffice.
In the series "Photographer S1 E1" we are told "The only way you can change the world is with stories. And the bigger your legend becomes, the easier it is to share the story. People want to hear it. They want to listen."
Stories have been told of ancient times since ancient times. Sitting around a fire, sitting under the night sky, whenever communities gather these stories were acted out and reenacted as in plays and stage dramas. Now it is told through some moving movies. This blog too is about stories. Stories about adventurers walking the path of the masters, teachers, gurus, and Siddhas before them. In adopting their ways we too find a new path that is viable and appropriate for the current times. No one can possibly carry out the feat that Agathiyar is said to have carried out - sitting on the bottom of the ocean in tapas or tavam for 12 long years. Times have changed. What is and was appropriate for then would not be now.
But we too have come a long way in this journey having taken, according to Agathiyar, crores of births. We have lived in the past. We need not live in the past now. We have to drop it and move on. We have to usher the new and drop the old. That is progress. That is evolution. What travels with us is the experiences we gain in each birth. This is what child prodigies tend to tap into and continue. Agathiyar too says that we continue from where we left.
The idea in taking birth is, contrary to the common belief that it is to accumulate be it wealth and knowledge, is to drop it after having tasted and experienced it. Following in the footsteps of a child, we need to move on instead of hugging these toys throughout our lives.
If Tavayogi told us to come out of Bakthi into Gnanam giving us the rituals in worship to experience and later taught us Yoga that prepared the body to become an abode of the divine or rather cleansed the debilitated and dark altar within us to receive the Light, both he and Agathiyar infused Gnanam in stages after having us go through the experiences. In having us drop each method and way, as did Ramalinga Adigal in progressing on the Pilgrim's Progress, Agathiyar days ago reminded us to even drop Gnanam acquired. If earlier in the eighties Lord Shiva coming in a dream told me to drop my baggage of readings and knowledge acquired, in coming to read the Nadi in 2002 Agathiyar pointed out the huge baggage of Karma that I was carrying and over the years helped me lay it down, and had me lay down the guilt that I carried too, asking me first to pardon myself, and others too, added that he was the mastermind behind the show wanting me to have those experiences too. All these experiences will help empower our souls to attain Atma Balam or Soul Power he tells us now.
If he told us earlier that Gnanam wasn't gifted but was an accumulation of our experiences traveling first in the material world and later moving within the chakras until it dawns on us, last Wednesday, he asked me what further use is Gnanam to one who has seen the space or emptiness . "வெட்டவெளியை கண்டவனுக்கு எதற்கு ஞானம்?"
If we have always been tuned to look for the divine and its miracles outside, the Siddhas teach us to see it within. In preparing this body to become a temple or clearing and cleaning this temple, opening up the doors and windows to allow a breath of fresh air in, lighting up or kindling the dying fire in us to burn bright, we become the house of God and the very light. Here then live Agathiyar, Muruga, Shiva, (and the other deities and Siddhas), and us, he says.
I guess there was a reason many sacred texts were burned or destroyed in floods in the past. It was to free man I suppose from his over-dependency on them to the extent that man became fanatics and less humane as he was supposed to be. Ram Dass who says in the documentary "Becoming Nobody" that life is no error and that it was all meant to be for us to gain experiences, shares his "formless friend" Emmanuel's words that "You took a human birth. You are so busy being Holy. Why don't you try being Human?"
When Agathiyar asked us why we came to the Siddha path some time back, many could not answer and chose to remain silent. Those who answered dished out wonderful replies such as wanting to be with him, to serve him, and wanting the generally acclaimed states of Mukti, Gnanam, etc. Just as we are blind walking the streets in the material world we seem to walk the alleys of the spiritual world blindfolded too. We literally do not have a vision in the former and a vision of the latter. The irony is many begin to lead others just as the blind lead another. I pray that I am not one of those blind leading another.
Just as Ramalinga Adigal in mentioning his journey in his songs, after seeing newer frontiers in his life later, discarded certain methods and ways of approach that he had traveled earlier in life, much of what is written in these blog in the earlier days might not hold water or have a weightage now as we have come to progress on the pilgrim's journey, having gained new insights and experiences. So should I stamp these as false and remove these posts? Unlike certain quarters opting to hide Ramalinga Adigal's earlier works from public sight, good sense told me to let this blog postings be for each soul has to walk the path passing through each milestone and coming to a realization. Sadly I am told that many who profess the way of Ramalinga Adigal step into his final method and ways rather than wanting to travel the tried and proven path from the start and gain those experiences for themselves too. It was only after I traveled the phases of Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam that I arrived at Gnanam which helped me know and distinguish Maya that had clothed all of creation and every single sight and speech, thought and action and all the phases mentioned too. The false is required to know the truth just as darkness is required to see the light. If I am all light how do I see and experience it? Hence we read that the Little Soul who was with God asked to come down for the experience in Neale Donald Walsch's "Conversation with God".
If the idea of moving into spiritualism was to seek the Self and settle in it, thinking we have escaped the clutches of the material world we get caught in the traps and snares of the spiritual world. We seem to jump from the frying pan into the fire. There are those who in wanting to gather and bring others to the way, envision and build centers, ashrams, peedhams to have them congregate. We come to face an exact scenario just as we do with a home, but a much larger one with having to build and maintain these structures. Just as in the home, here too there are utility bills that need to be settled monthly but on a bigger scale. Just as we entertain visitors to our homes to a meal, funds are needed to continue feeding visitors to these centers. We begin to source for money losing our sights on our goal. Worst still is that we cannot bring ourselves to pass on our responsibilities to another, wanting to hold on til death do us part, or we take ill. Just as a person cried out that someone was pickpocketing his cash as he lay dying, now laying ill we fear that those entrusted to take over the establishment would pocket the public funds that we have painfully collected over the years for their own use. Then there are some who eye these posts and get disappointed and leave when they are sidelined.
Then we have those who are so focused, adamant, rigid, and fanatic for all the wrong reasons. Their sight is set on the meals rather than the practice. What is vegetarian? The greens that grow in the soil feed on nutrients derived from things falling to the ground and rotting including decaying carcasses. In BBC Earth's "Planet Earth lll - Forests", Richard Attenborough tells us that the forest in Canada flourishes because the bears catch and bring the salmon ashore and after eating them leave their remains behind.
"This annual feast helps her to fatten ready for the winter ahead. But it also helps the patch of forest where she lives. This female has an unusual relationship with the forest. Every fish carcass she leaves behind decays releasing nutrients that soak into the soil. And there they are collected by a network of fungi. The treads attach themselves to the tree's roots. And nutrients from the fish collected by the fungi are then passed on to the trees. As a consequence, the forest around the river grows three times faster than elsewhere. And some trees here become as tall as any in the world. And provides the bears with a healthy home. We now know that such relationships exist in the forest all over the world."
The water that we drink is from the rivers where all forms of organisms flourish. The air that we breathe in carries with it minute living organisms too. The skin carrying minute organisms come into contact with other humans and meat forms. Yes, man himself is a pack of meat made of muscles and bones and ends as food for certain larger animals when they cross paths or ends as food for smaller organisms when he drops his carcass to the ground contributing to the food chain. Who then is a true vegetarian as the term has been made out to be? It just doesn't make sense and the tussle doesn't seem to end. Maya indeed is in all worlds. It is not the meal but the intent to kill that is in question here as in the Buddhist practice. What matters is to drop the thought that moves us into action. Doctors are known to ask vegetarian patients recovering from operations and illnesses to take fish as their bodies need a lot of protein during these stages of recovery to rebuild cells and tissues. Agathiyar and Bhogar have asked certain devotees to take fish too telling them that their bodies need them. There is an allocation in Siddha medicine to prescribe fish as medicine to patients. A Siddha physician we know has asks his vegetarian patients to consume fish for their bodily needs and to recover. As someone said the heavens are not made of vegetarians alone, let us not become fanatics. Who then needs to be a vegetarian? Those who desire to transform this body back into Light.
If sex is considered taboo in the spiritual world, Agathiyar asked us to have a healthy relationship with our spouse telling us to practice healthy sex too. Ramalinga Adigal like Agathiyar has advocated it. Tirumular gives guidelines to determine the sex of the child yet to be born from this unison. Bhogar has spoken about the sex trade. Agathiyar went into intimate details of intimacy to a couple he met asking me to remain by his side and telling me that I too needed to know. He says these are required by the body. He jolts us from our dream world asking us why, when he stood before Lord Shiva as a full-fledged Siddha, Rishi, and Muni, a renunciate and a yogi, Lord Shiva told him that he had not attained completeness or Paripuranam. The Lord told him that he had yet to get married. Lord Shiva fixed his marriage to Lobama.
Let us not cut our ties with others just because they chose to take a different meal. Let us not cut our ties with others just because they are born into another race or religion. Let us not cut our ties with others just because they hold on to another faith and beliefs. Essentially we are all humans. As such we should be humane towards all. As man is often considered superior to others let us take care of the lesser beings just as it is our duty to take care of the young.
I am glad that Tavayogi at the onset broke my hold on things and attachment even to him showing me to Agathiyar instead. I am glad that as I near the end of my life and my journey Agathiyar has broken my attachment even towards him, tearing the masks of Maya into shreds. I am glad I never fell for all these or as Agathiyar says for want of its experiences, with their grace, managed to escape to safe ground after placing my foot into these dark pits.
I was the shy and timid type back then. But when we, the lads of Indian origin gathered together and spearheaded the setting up of an Indian Cultural and Arts Society at secondary school, I was picked to head the society. Later turning up at the Parent Teachers Association meeting at my daughter's school, I was nominated and elected the chairman though I tried to turn it down. When Tavayogi came I brought him over to a home that had turned into a center. Tavayogi cornered me by telling the gathering that I shall speak about the Siddhas. I sat dumbfounded. I knew nothing about them as I was pretty new too to the path. But since I knew something about Tavayogi I spoke about him for a couple of minutes. My mind raced to find a way to escape. I began to sing the Arutperunjothi mantra knowing that everyone would join in. The mantra saved me that day.
When I began to write about my maiden travel to India on several websites back then and carried videos on Kallar ashram in 2003 and 2005 respectively, a friend picked up a photo of my first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai and posted it on his FB. A negative comment from his friend drove me to remove all the sites and postings, not wanting to let others smear my gurus. Narrating my action later to Tavayogi he asked me, "Why son? Let it be." Taking his desire into account, I soon began to start from zero. Later seeing the ease with which we could attach multimedia on blogs, not having to learn the tools required in websites, I began to blog. Agathiyar then comes by giving the thumbs-up and encourages me to write further often giving me the subject, words, and sentences too.
Knowing I was not cut to be a teacher for I never had the patience to teach, I kept the Asanas and Pranayama techniques that I learned from Tavayogi to myself. Furthermore, he never told me to teach another. Agathiyar comes along and asks me to teach Mahindren and has Mahindren teach the others later. When Agathiyar brought youths to watch and participate in my home puja after their Nadi readings in 2013, I never saw myself as a guru but one who was journeying together with them. Some time back he introduced three souls asking me to initiate and teach them both his mantra and practice, telling me that I had desired to be a guru. I questioned him back, "When did I ask for it" and he remained silent. Soon I came to terms that maybe it was a Vasana brought over from a past life that had to see the light of day. But soon they never came back nor contacted me. I was freed from yet another trap. Looking back I was wise in many ways to reject the offers, either at the onset or in the midst, that he made along the journey. Building a temple, starting an ashram/peedham/movement/ etc. The gift of the Nadi for my use and others. The gift of healing others. The gift of being a medium for them to come through and sort others' lives.
I am truly at peace now just attending to "nothing" for he had relieved me of all the doings. There is nothing more to do, attend to, or say. All the puja has stopped. The rituals have stopped. The charities too. The Yoga practices too were brought to a halt. What he has me carry on is writing this blog. He had told me that I shall remain behind the curtains which I was delighted to hear. I shall remain his tool and let him write.
No one wants my money. It is true. When I befriended a friend at my office who frequented an astrologer, I too began to consult him. He never spoke about payment. As he was a Siddha physician too, when he passed me the Siddha medicines, he never asked for payment. After the demise of the astrologer and Siddha physician whom I came to consult since 1996, when I saw another Siddha physician he too never spoke about payment till this day. When I read the Nadi for the very first time in 2002, Agathiyar stipulated that I pass over an amount as Naadikku Dhanam or a token of appreciation to the Siddhas for documenting and revealing about my(story) in the Nadi. That was the only moment an amount was mention that I pass on to the reader. Later when I read the Nadi some 56 times till 2019 and again recently, the Nadi reader never spoke about payment. I wonder why? Although all these souls never charged me for consultations and medicine, I always left a token behind before leaving. All things fell into place in my life too without me seeking, be it my studies, my career, my marriage, my home, the path and my gurus. I wonder why?
So how do I repay for God's kindness? I guess by speaking his greatness. Would that suffice? Many in adoration for him declare their lives in surrender. But the irony is that the very life we are living is not ours to part with. It is his gift. So, what is ours that we can give him in return for his kindness? Dropping the notion that we are separate. Dropping this state of Maya. In identifying with him, the part becomes the whole or complete or Paripuranam. This is what Agathiyar meant when he replied asking if we were not one, when he asked that I drop my attachment to him too.
Agathiyar opened his eyes in both his granite statues at Agasthiyampalli and Papanasam in 2005 and told me that these miracles would continue once I was back home from my pilgrimage. When he told me to commission his bronze statue in Swamimalai and have it brought over to my home in 2010, he asked us to "energize" and give it "life" by chanting or reciting his name 100,000 times. With continuous libation to his statue and worship, Agathiyar opened his eyes in the bronze statue in 2013. Returning from his ashram, Tavayogi had us start doing the Homam in our home too. When I dragged my feet in doing it as I was not keen on rituals, Agathiyar came in the Nadi and told me that it was for the good of Prapanjam and all its creation. When Tavayogi started us on Yoga giving us several techniques in 2007, and when my Muladhara chakra was activated unknowingly in 2010, I had extreme cruciating pain in my back and body over the next few years. Agathiyar asked me to lay off the practices in 2012, only to have me start back in 2019. In 2023 he had me part with his statue only to return several weeks ago. He now tells us that he was not (only) in the statue and asked to refrain from performing further rituals and just imbibe and take in his energies just as we should at Samadhis. He asked me that since I had successfully let go of my attachment to his form (as in his statue), when was I going to let go of my attachment to him? When I replied, "How could I?" he answered, "Aren't our souls one?" Then we have Sivavakiyar through his songs question us if the act of circumambulating and placing flowers at the feet of stone images or idols of gods, and if the act of reciting mantras would bring these stones to speak, when the Lord resides in each of us.
“நட்ட கல்லைச் சுற்றி வந்து நாலு புஷ்பம் சாற்றியே; சுற்றி சுற்றி வந்து முணு, முணுக்க சொல்லும் மந்திரம் ஏதடா! சுட்ட சட்டி சட்டுவம் கறிச்சுவை அறியுமோ! நட்டகல்லும் பேசுமோ; நாதன் உள்ளிருக்கையில்..!”
If Agathiyar started me with carrying out worship of the Siddhas, reciting the names of Siddhas, making offerings of food, bathing, and clothing his statue, lighting the sacrificial fire and placing offerings in it, then we have Agathiyar in his songs tell us that once the mind settles there is no need for rituals, to chant mantras, nor to control the breath, etc. As we had unknowingly brought our focus and concentration to these acts, it was akin to meditation. The mind eventually settles on its own. In carrying out all these precise methods and practices, helped tame the mind.
It might seem that the messages of the Siddhas contradict each other. We have to understand that there is no one formula for all. Each method and practice, remedy or ritual is customized for each soul that steps up before the Siddhas seeking refuge, salvation, solace, and peace. It is given when and if we are ready to receive and put it into practice and no sooner. We have to understand that the method and practices too have to be dropped, just as we let go of our hold and grip on the rope to reach further up. Hence Sariyai prepares us to receive the path, with us visiting temples in our neighborhood regularly, going on pilgrimages, and praying at home. When we are ready God whom we accepted as residing in temples and in idols and paintings takes the form of a guru in the physical form to take us on the path most suited for and desired by our soul or JeevAtma. God who introduces us to our gurus, as he did introduce me to Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram, has the guru "re-introduce" us to our long-lost buddy, the soul, bridging the bond we once had with our soul before birth, during conception, while in the womb and only to leave us after several years of our existence as a child. If the rituals help bridge both our worlds, the earth and the heavens, the guru helps draw the fallen bridge between the gross body and the subtle soul. Just as Tavayogi stepped back after introducing me to Agathiyar and Agathiyar stepped back after introducing us to Vaalai, she, in turn, stepped back to introduce us to the larger Prapanjam beyond form and name. The guru stepped back after drawing the veil and showing us our true Self, the JeevAtma which now takes reign of its kingdom once again and henceforth dictates us accordingly. Having us travel the path or phases of Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam, the JeevAtma appears before us bringing on Gnanam that dispels the ignorance and our perception of the world and all in it, revealing its nature that it is there to stay forever, in life and death. We learn that only the ParamAtma was, is, and shall be around forever. Life and death are only doors that we have passed through numerous times for eons and ages. The JeevAtma comes to help shed the previous beliefs, practices, and bindings we have on all things external and changing. It makes us understand that all that changes is Maya and has us seek that which is beyond change. We settle in the JeevaAtma and carry out its dictates. The search stops. All reading stops. All actions that we desire stop. Every move of ours is that which the JeevAtma dictates. The JeevAtma in us reunites with the Atmas in others and all of nature, realizing that it was all one all the while. The JeevAtma in us begins to connect with others and elevates them too to know their Self too. As the JeevAtma is a part of the whole, the ParamAtma, we become enlightened souls or Jeevan Muktas. We then become a JeevanMukta having attained Mukti while living.
If I was with God and chose to come to take on experiences and learn lessons, why should I being a soul (JivAtma) that is part of the whole (ParamAtma) choose to live life in only one body and not many simultaneously? Is this the reason I came across a Nadi carrying my name, my parent's name, number of siblings, and career all told right but the name of my wife was that of another? It is said that we are made in the same image amounting to seven. How do we explain these? Was this a parallel life that I was living?
If I was a part of the whole, then I am also in every Tom, Dick, and Harry, living a life and taking on the experiences of this very moment in everyone. In this sense, if we feed another we're feeding ourselves. If we injure another we're hurting ourselves, right? This means that the One, that is whole has taken on all forms in creation and assimilated these experiences for itself using individual forms and names as in us and others. What a game it is. Is this what Maya is all about? Manifestations of the One and the whole.
This and other questions are in need of an answer. For instance how far do we intervene in other's Karma? In carrying our baggage of Karma, each time we cross paths with another we are either shedding or adding on to our load. So is it with others. In the event we extend a helping hand how much do we do? Where do we draw the line? Most of the professions and businesses too are constantly engaging in saving lives and changing the living standards of others by providing housing, food, clothing, education, etc. In providing these we are helping to extend the life span of people as in the former and improve their living standards as in the latter. This is what Agathiyar too has spelled out in his 5 tenets to mankind listing his purpose here. Then we have another ideology of sitting back and just watching the world and its affairs go by. Some saints advocate this. So do we follow in the footsteps of Mother Teresa and help others or sit back and mind our own business? If it was not for the Siddhas pleading to Lord Shiva to allow them to reveal the divine secrets behind the machinery of creation and its sustenance, who would we turn to to escape the time loop and the web that we have spun for ourselves? These are grey areas that are not answered as yet.
Karma which has become a household word among many is true only until we come to the Siddhas. When things go wrong which they often do, we are pointed to the Nadi readers and the Nadi readings. They pass on the messages of the Siddhas, at times over-emphasized and with a pinch of fear instilled. While some choose to brush them aside many go along with the directives to carry out remedies seeking for solace and peace in their home front, careers, and everything under the sky. For those who choose to take up the path after settling their past scores and debts, Karma is not a threatening issue anymore. The Siddhas hardly raise the issue again. Whatever happens after locking gears with the Siddhas, is now an accumulation of experiences and learning lessons. If initially upon revealing our past Karma we are sent to carry out remedies or Parikaram at specific temples and places, after shifting into high gear on the path of the Siddhas, all our actions are in tune and turn out to appease the remaining Karma without even we realizing it. To those few who have earned the grace of the guru or Siddhas, and put in practice whatever is taught, the Karma is burned into ashes by their very practices.
I was sad to see someone manipulate the facts and tell his audience that there were no past and future births. Messaging him later he apologized telling me that he was forced to say this since everyone who came to him for a cure either harped on Karma or never gave a care for it, the former associating every happening with Karma and the latter putting aside every work and effort to another day or the next birth. Although his intention was good in having them live the day and not fret on the past or postpone a task to another date, he manipulated the truth of the matter.
Knowing about Karma is a valuable tool to bring us back on the right track. But just as a tool in the hands of a 'weak' person can harm him, it could bring one to his knees never able to walk again. He begins to fear the word and all his actions or might even begin to fear his own shadows.
It is man who creates fear in others. God loves us for being ourselves. Neale Donald Walsch shares God's words with us in his book "The Wisdom of the Universe" by Penguin Random House, "If you saw you, as God sees you, you would smile a lot."
Agathiyar in consoling us tells us that even the bad and ugly is his work for he wants us to have these experiences too. Eventually, in giving us these experiences he is strengthening the soul, empowering it to face all consequences. Anyway, unknowing to us, the soul would have asked for these experiences. Let us take it all in our stride. There is a learning for us each moment.