The first mention of Siddha was through Dr Krishnan, whom I patronized to chart and know my horoscope, and for all my Siddha herbal medicines beginning in 1996. When I was called to worship the Siddhas in the Nadi reading in 2002, the Dr prepared Agathiyar's Yantra and passed me his Mantra. Then Tavayogi initiated me officially into the path and pointed me to and asked me to frequent the local chapter of his Peedham, which he had come to officiate in 2005, to learn more. But Agathiyar, after my second Nadi reading several days later, asked him to take me under his wings instead. And so my journey began. Rather than have me listen to his teaching, Tavayogi brought me into nature and into the jungles and caves that he had been to and stayed in during his years of search. On another visit in 2007, he taught me certain Yoga techniques that began to bring on an internal transformation without my knowledge until Agathiyar brought it to my attention. I continued worship of the Siddhas until Agathiyar brought it to a halt in the wake of the pandemic in 2019. He had me go within. After teasing me with a string of gifts over the years that I refused to accept, Agathiyar finally offered to make me a Siddha.
Who is a Siddha? Asking "Copilot," it brings up the following.
A Siddha is a term used in Indian religions and philosophy to describe a perfected being or spiritual master who has attained a high level of enlightenment and supernatural abilities. The concept of Siddhas appears in Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism, and Tantric traditions.
- In Hinduism, Siddhas are enlightened yogis who have transcended the ego and achieved spiritual liberation.
- In Jainism, Siddhas are liberated souls who have destroyed all karmas and attained moksha (freedom from the cycle of birth and death).
- In Tantric traditions, Siddhas are ascetics who have mastered mystical practices and attained supernatural powers known as siddhis.
Siddhas are often associated with deep meditation, wisdom, and spiritual transformation. In South India, the Siddha tradition is particularly revered, with many ancient sages believed to have possessed extraordinary knowledge of medicine, alchemy, and yoga.
Reading the above, I tell myself I do not fit into any of the above. There is not even an inch or a shadow of these in me. I tend to agree with my wife that what Agathiyar is saying is to ask me to stay with him and on his path, and he shall eventually make me one in the future or in another birth, since he told me once that we have come a long way together. Supramania Swami, too, in closing the window of his hamlet and shutting off the view of the Arunachala hill, explained that he could not see it anymore, for it was fiery. He added that he saw Siddhas and Rishis go about their chores on the hill, and surprised me by saying that he saw me amidst them too. Tavayogi told me that he came to know that he was an old soul who lived with Agathiyar in the way past and came again to lead us away from the web of Maya and illusion. After his demise, a devotee was shown in her dream where Tavayogi was seated on a boat with many others clad in white, and Lord Siva was rowing the boat across a waterway towards a hill where Siddhas and Rishis went about their work. Dhavantri, in coming to us, told us that Tavayogi was in the form of light. Agathiyar told us that since Tavayogi was doing their work in their realm, he, Agathiyar, had to come guide us now.
J. Krishnamurti, who was groomed to lead the Theosophical Society, was seen by the Society as the vehicle for a coming world teacher and was clothed, trained, and revered. When many desire position, power, and authority and cannot seem to let go, he gave it all back, telling his followers that "Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path, whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect." He began to walk alone and invited others, not to follow him, but to walk alone as well. I guess this is what Agathiyar made me do, too, by bringing down the shutters to Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), for many had dreams and visions of this group expanding and flourishing further, and had plans for it. Just as Krishnamurti "returned to silence, not the silence of withdrawal but the silence that is born when the noise of thoughts subsides, a silence that is not created but revealed, a silence that is", Agathiyar has me stay in solitude and be silent, doing nothing these days. Just as Krishnamurti's "life was simple, a small house, a garden, long walks, conversations with friends, the scent of flowers in the air" and he "loved nature not sentimentally but deeply, watching the movement of trees, the stillness of mountains, the flight of birds not as symbols but as revelations of beauty that asked for nothing", and "did not cling to the known, burying his thought, memory, and identity" and "prepared for death without preparing, dying each day", seeing death as "not the end, not an event, simply the unfolding of what had always been, an unknowable mystery, not to be conquered but to be embraced", I can boldly say that I fit into this, but not the description of a Siddha as mentioned above.
Should I then look forward to the offer, or should I reject it as I did all the other offers before this? I would rather be another J.Krishnamurti than adorn the robe of a Siddha. I would rather be another Bharathi and Ramalinga Adigal who broke free from the tag and label of a Siddha, too. Like them, I would like to remain and be known simply as Shanmugam Avadaiyappa till my last days.