I have been in a dilemma for some time now. Agathiyar, in coming last time, told me to quit writing. I did as told, as I had followed every dictate of his till now, except for some that I refused to comply with, like his asking, and that of Lord Muruga too, to build a temple for them. Later, they said to me that they had tested me and that my home itself was a temple. Another instance was when I rejected their offers to pass me a Nadi to be read for myself and others, too. This, too, I turned down because I did not want people to line up at my home seeking to read their Nadi. He understood and never gifted me the Nadi. When he came and healed many using me and my home in the past, just after he arrived at my home in the form of the bronze statue in 2010, my wife and I voiced our concern as we did not want the word to go around and have strangers queue at our home expecting to be cured, as I was working then and my children were schooling. Though before that, Agathiyar had already told me that whoever stood at my door was sent by him, but he listened to our concern and stopped the influx of strangers coming over for some time. Then one day, as I stood before his statue and spoke to him as I always do, he hit me so hard, asking me where I would go if he were to shut his ears, implying that I should listen to their grievances. We backed down on our request and had him do his will since he told us that he was only using me and my home to save them and that we shall not be harmed in any way. Later, my daughter tells me that Agathiyar was listening to people's problems through me, as whatever she had shared about her former classmate's illness was subsequently looked into, diagnosed, and cured by the doctors. Just last night, speaking to a friend, devotee, and reader from Delhi, he told me that speaking to me was meditative to him and added that henceforth he shall call me more often to listen to all the stories about Agathiyar and his presence among us. In asking me if he should make me a guru recently, though I finally gave in to his love and compassion, Agathiyar immediately backed down on his offer and told me instead that he would make me someone else.
So when he told me to stop writing this blog, something that Tavayogi and Agathiyar themselves favored and encouraged, though I stopped writing but much information and enlightenment kept dawning within. Previously, whenever I have these moments, I would immediately note them either on my phone or laptop, trying desperately to catch the subject, sentences, and words that appear less, they should drift away just as they had come. I would work on these drafts later. These were too good to let them go by, for I too was learning at the same time. Each time I posted a piece, I would read and reread it and stand before him, thanking him for the good piece of work that he had written. I was only the tool.
So I went back to writing, telling, and consoling myself with the story of the disciple Ramanujam, who was forbidden by his guru Gosthipurna to share the mantra given to him with others, but the former defied his guru's instructions and shared the mantra with all those passing and gathered standing atop the temple platform. His guru later applauded him for his unselfish act. The story goes as follows.
The gracious Guru, seeing the sincerity and earnestness of Ramanuja, now gave him the mantra, warning him,
“Do not disclose the Mantra to anyone else, else you shall suffer the agonies of Hell.”
“And what will happen to those who hear the Mantra, Sir,” asked Ramanuja innocently.
“Why, my son, the power of the Mantra would lead all those to salvation!”
His Guru, Gosthipurna, instructed him, “This is the param-pavan mantra; whoever merely listens to it is freed from all sinful reactions, and whoever chants it is certain to go to Vaikuntha at the time of death. This mantra is the purest of the purest and should not be revealed to anyone who’s not qualified to receive it. Therefore, you must refrain from sharing this with anybody else.”
“What is more desirable than thousands of people attaining heaven even if I alone be damned,” thus thought the kind-hearted Ramanuja, and climbing up the platform in a temple, shouted – “Come, O my brothers, come! Listen to this Mantra that will open floodgates of liberation for you.” And in front of all, he repeated the Mantra aloud.
Although he was instructed otherwise, when Ramanujacharya heard how this mantra bestows liberation and devotion unto the chanter, he climbed up on the tower of the Vishnu temple, promising everyone that he had a priceless jewel to give them.
As compassion for all the living entities swelled in his heart, he then proceeded to loudly chant the mantra given to him, with the desire to help liberate everyone from the pangs of life and death.
Upon seeing this, his enraged Guru cursed him to suffer in hell for countless lifetimes.
Sri Ramanujacharya humbly replied, “If an insignificant person like me has gone to hell, just so many others can obtain the shelter of Lord Narayana and thus be freed from their suffering, I see no greater gain.”
His Guru was left greatly stunned and pleased with his disciple upon hearing this.
(Source: https://www.indiadivine.org/ and https://iskcondwarka.or)
As Agathiyar was silent, I was thinking that deciding to continue to write must be acceptable to Agathiyar, and wondering if he was just testing me, just as Gosthipurna had tested Ramanujam, when just moments ago I received an e-mail from a reader. Upon reading it, I took it as an assurance from Agathiyar to carry on writing and sharing.
Vanakkam Aiyya, I hope this message finds you well and at peace. I first discovered your blog, Siddha Heart Beat, in 2018, at the dawn of my seeking journey. It quickly became a trusted companion, and I recently found myself drawn back to it while exploring the possibility of a Nadi reading. This led me to immerse myself once again in your writings, which have always felt like a guiding light. I felt a sincere urge to reach out and express how deeply your posts have resonated with me. The compassion and dedication that flow through your words are truly inspiring. Your gift for weaving personal experience with the greater, divine narrative of the Siddha path is remarkable. It elevates your blog from a mere chronicle to a precious resource—one that helps seekers like me find clarity and connection in our own journeys. Reading your work has often felt like discovering missing pieces of a puzzle, providing context I hadn’t realized I was longing for. I also wanted to especially thank you for your sincerity. In a world where spiritual guidance can sometimes feel distant, your writing remains genuine and accessible. You are not merely sharing knowledge—you are nurturing a community, illuminating the path for your readers with a rare and generous spirit. Please know that your work makes a tangible difference. It offers clarity, fosters a deep sense of connection, and helps keep the Siddha Parambara and its sacred stories alive. On this auspicious day of Deepam, I wish for you and your loved ones a celebration filled with divine light and grace. May the radiant flame of Annamalaiyar and Unnamulaiamman illuminate your path with increased wisdom, joy, and the boundless blessings of the Siddhas.
Someone seeking to know further about Swami Jeganathar and his Samadhi temple in Tapah landed on this blog and knocked on my door when I was away. A neighbor, spotting the couple outside my home, reached out to me on my phone, and we met during the puja that Agathiyar asked to host on 26 October. He, too, told me he seemed to find the missing pieces of the puzzle in coming over.