I shall celebrate my 67th birthday in a few days' time. Will I live to see another? Only Agathiyar can tell. Looking back on this month in the past, I came across a post written on Saturday, 30 September 2017. I had written back then that,
If before coming to this path I was reading about our agamas, customs, music, traditions, etc, I looked towards organizations linked to Agathiyar in Malaysia when I was asked to worship the Siddhas by Agathiyar in my very first Nadi reading. Making no headway in this search, I began to seek the knowledge I wanted from books. Looking around for Siddha literature, I managed to lay my hands on many books that spoke about the origin of Siddhas and their lives. Then I came to a crossroads about whether to believe in what was written. The contents were unbelievable. It was not logical; neither was what was written reasonable. It was mythical and legendary in nature and beyond my logical thinking. Some of the stuff written was ridiculous, for there were so many instances of Agathiyar cursing others. Similarly, going through the Puranas, I saw curses being hurled by Gods just as arrows are shot at each other. The Rishis too were portrayed as short-tempered and fond of cursing others. I just could not bring myself to accept these stories. Inside me, I knew pretty well that they were the most compassionate. So how can they bring themselves to curse others? They are the Prapanjam: they are in us and we in them. I awaited Agathiyar to tell me that it is all a lie or to bring me to see these things in a new light.
My very first encounter with unseen energies was on day 2 of my maiden pilgrimage to India to carry out my remedies, or parikaram, given in my first Nadi reading. It happened at the Lord Nadaraja sannadhi, or chambers, at Egambareswarar Temple in Kanchipuram. Deva, my chauffeur, and Mahendran, my travel agent in India, dropped me at the Egambareswarar Temple. Deva did not accompany me into the temple, telling me that I did look like one of the locals and had blended in well and completely with the locals. This was another of the Pancha Stalam that I was directed to visit by Agathiyar in my Nadi. As the main sanctum was packed with people participating in a ‘private family puja’ and as the atmosphere was extremely noisy, I decided to pray elsewhere. As I came around the temple complex, I came across a huge chamber on my left. As I stopped at the entrance to the chamber to have a look, suddenly a young priest whom I had not seen until then rose from his seat and quickly ushered me into the chamber and led me inside. He walked briskly ahead of me. As I stepped inside this magnificent chamber, I felt I had stepped into another world and another plane; into another space and time. An entirely different atmosphere prevailed within the walls. Something I had never felt before overcame me. I could feel a strong vibration come over me. Was I being shown a small sample of the bliss that is often mentioned by the Yogis and Gurus, I wondered later? The young priest started chanting as he showed the sacred flame or arati. Lord Nadaraja looked down on me not in a menacing way, as one would have thought given his massive height, but with so much compassion and love. I stood in front of him at close proximity, amazed, astonished, and emotionally shaken up, with tears pouring down my cheeks. I could not contain the bliss any further. I broke into a loud cry. I stood there shedding tears of joy. I had my Lord all to myself at that moment. Everything else, including time, stood still! It was some time before I came out of that state. The priests who stood afar and only observed approached me with the prasad once I became composed. I thanked him and tucked some rupees into his hand and made my way out of that electrifying chamber of Lord Nadaraja. Further down the corridor, to my surprise, I was invited by an elderly couple to sit and watch with them a private prayer or puja and the bathing ritual or Abhisegam to Goddess Kaali. I stayed long enough to witness the evening Abhisegam performed on Lord Egambareswarar too. All these took place in a short time of an hour, from 6 pm to 7 pm.
The next experience took place on day 5 at Tiruvanaikaval, Trichy. The priest from Utamar Temple, which we had visited earlier, surprised me by volunteering to bring me to Tiruvanaikaval. He advised me on what to purchase on arrival at the grounds of the temple. It was 12 noon. The temple was already closed. I understood then why he had suggested and rushed us to Tiruvanaikaval first to carry out the parikaram and return to Utamar temple later in the evening. To my surprise, he used his contacts at the temple to open doors that were closed. With his "magic touch," or rather his good rapport, calling over the temple caretaker, he had the doors to Lord Vinayagar’s sannadhi opened for us. He had a priest conduct and show the arati. We then moved on to Lord Murugan's sannadhi, and the same took place. Then at the main sanctum, he called out to an elderly priest who was seated with the other priests, saying, "Mama, come. You should do the prayers!" The old priest led all of us into the inner chamber through a side door. He bent down in the dark chamber and told me to listen to the sound of water as he moved his hands. As he stood before me again with the prasad, I fell at his feet. As I picked myself up, I realized the rest- the priest from Utamar Temple, the temple caretaker, and Deva, my chauffeur too- had fallen at the priest’s feet too, following my gesture, and were picking themselves up too. We then made our way to Lord Dhaksanamurthi sannadhi as the priest from Utamar Temple insisted that the elderly priest should conduct the prayers. After the elderly priest left, I broke down at Lord Dhakshanamurthi’s sannadhi. I lay on the floor crying for no reason. But the irony is, except for the caretaker of the temple who tried to console me, nobody passing by stopped to enquire if I was alright. I heard the priest from Utamar Temple say, “Let Him Be, Let Him Cry.” After a while, I picked myself up, and we adjourned to feed the poor, a cow, and an elephant on the advice of the priest from Utamar Temple. I was literally pushed or shoved from one shrine to another by this wonderful group of people, who came to assist me. The elderly priest, the priest from Utamar Temple, the temple caretaker, and Deva made my day, as I performed each prayer to the utmost satisfaction. As we were on our way to send the priest whom we picked up at Utamar Temple back to his Temple, he insisted that we drop him off at a location he pointed to, telling us that he had errands to run. I handed him the first of three offerings, or Andhanarku Dhanam, as part of my parikaram. As we drove off, I chanced to look back to realize that we had dropped him off at a Hanuman temple! I did not see him again at Utamar Temple that evening when I was there performing the atonement. Who came in the guise of the priest and showed me around? Why did he get down at the Hanuman temple? Was it Hanuman? It would not be a surprise, as with the agility, speed, and velocity he demonstrated, practically shoving me from one shrine to another, it could only mean that it was Vaayu's son who came for us.
It was day 7. We reached Palani at 8.50 am. Deva dropped me off at the entrance to the Tiru Avinankudi Temple. After a brief moment at Tiru Avinankudi Temple, as there was a wedding in progress, I purchased some items to bring over to Lord Murugan and started for the hill temple. Laying my feet on the first step, I just could not move my legs. They were extremely heavy, as if they had turned to stone. I had to force myself, using both my hands to lift my legs that had turned into a huge chunk of rock. I pushed myself, determined to scale the hill, though my heart pumped hard; I was drenched in sweat, gasping for air, and my throat was parched and dry. I had to break the climb, stopping every few minutes to take a breather. But the irony is, nobody stopped to enquire if I was alright. Was I hidden from others' view? Eventually, on reaching the top of the flight of stairs, as I became dizzy, I had to sit somewhere! I made my way to the shops that I spotted in the distance, dropped myself and my purchases, leaning against the wall of one of the shops. As I sat there, I was sweating profusely. I was on the verge of fainting. As I remained in this position, I saw a brightness engulfing all around me. I could make out silhouettes of people walking by. I heard the muffled sound of their voices. Regaining my composure after some time, I stood up and made my way to queue up in line for the darshan of Lord Murugan. Once inside, a priest walked up to me and asked if it was for his abhisegam and practically snatched the goody bag I brought for Lord Murugan. I cannot recount what took place next. Next I knew, he was back and shoved the same bag into my hands. He told me that there was the sandalwood paste from Lord Murugan's abhisegam. I turned to follow the crowd ahead of me out of Lord Murugan's chamber. Believe me, I do not remember seeing Lord Murugan. Hardly had I taken a couple of steps along the dark corridor when I chanced upon a room on the right. On peering within, I saw four priests. I enquired if it was Bhogar’s Samadhi, and they nodded. One of the priests turned to show the flame of arati. Surprisingly, there was no one else in this chamber. I took a seat and closed my eyes. On opening my eyes, one of the four priests, a young man, reached for a tumbler on top of a closet in the room and handed it to me, saying it was Abhisegam milk. I drank the milk. I took leave, thanking him with a nod of the head. As I stepped out of Bhogar’s chamber, I was in a daze, drifting as if a boat or yacht would drift downwind. I did not sense my feet touching the ground as I came around and around the temple. My heart was filled to the brim with bliss. When the feeling left, I left the premises and found my way to the car at the foothill. It was 11 am.
These brief moments of connecting with the energies continued even after I returned to Malaysia, as Agathiyar told me in the Nadi that I shall not be spared even on my home ground. Agathiyar revealed what took place at Palani on 7 September 2003 in a Nadi reading, two years later, on 19 August 2005!
I felt these energies later at the Sri Jaganatha Swamigal Sivalayam at Tapah, the Nattukottai Chettiar's Sri Thandayuthapani Temple in Penang, and the Sri Siva Subramaniam Temple at Kampong Kepayang in Ipoh.
As I stood with my family at the Sri Jaganatha Swamigal Sivalayam at Tapah, I was suddenly overcome with emotion and cried as I felt the grace of my Paramaguru. Surprisingly, a saffron-clad Swamiji and his disciples who were residing at the temple then did not notice what was taking place right under their noses. It is as if these moments are veiled from the sight of others. My family was always the sole witness. These incidents made me realize that it was all the Siddhas doing and I had nothing to do with it. They decide who sees what and when, and who does not.
As I bid farewell to Tavayogi, after meeting him for the first time in Malaysia in 2005, and as it was customary to fall at the feet of gurus, I did just that. He moved back and told me never to do that again. Instead, he pointed me to a pair of wooden sandals, or Padhugai, that symbolized the Holy Feet of Agathiyar. Only when Tavayogi pointed me to the sandals did I come to see the sandals and the large painting of Agathiyar in the meditation room of the local affiliate Peedham in Batu Caves which he had come to officiate. It was just as I had no awareness of my surroundings in all the temples I visited in India. The moment I touched the wooden sandal, I broke into tears and began crying aloud for reasons I could not comprehend.
I was lifted and thrown off my feet while visiting the inner caves of the cave temple in Sungai Siput, precisely at the place where it is said that Tavayogi's guru Chitramuthu Adigal had meditated, and at the very precise moment the temple priest pointed out the spot and began to narrate the story of Chitramuthu Adigal. See for yourself and tell me who, in his sound mind, would want to purposely fake a fall among boulders that could have split his skull?
When I was questioning the logic of these Puranas and Itihasas, these things began to take place in me that were beyond my understanding. Logic did not hold water; I began to realize it then.
These energies were felt as I took up the practice of Asanas and Pranayama that Tavayogi showed me in 2007. I felt large volumes of Prana enter into my lungs and into every part of my body, and every cell vibrated by the massive flow of Prana. When I came to know that Prana was life, I came to appreciate the free flow of Prana that we had evidently enjoyed all these years without any effort on our part. I began to take time to notice it and pay attention to my breath. The Siddhas paid attention to it. While man is so occupied noticing what goes on around him, the Siddha is occupied only with noticing his breath. He shuts out everything else. That is Samadhi.
Over the years, as I did prayers and worshiped the Siddhas without fail, I began to feel certain sensations and began to perform certain actions involuntarily. If initially only my family was witness to these moments, with the coming of others to my home after Agathiyar sent them over to join our home puja, they too came to witness it. Though I could not comprehend them, I told my wife that if only I could share those brief moments of bliss with others by either a touch or in some way, I would be very much happy. What I wished for was fulfilled many years later when the unimaginable started happening. The Siddhas came down. Agathiyar, in coming as the bronze statue in 2010, told me that my soul would be in the statue momentarily while he came within me. Lord Muruga brought the heavens down when I stepped aside, giving him access to my body in 2018. Each time the Siddhas came through a devotee or me, we would hold hands. Ramalinga Adigal, on many occasions, had us reach out to Arutperunjothi and Prapanjam by having us hold hands too. Soon I was asked to voluntarily give them access to do their work.
Today I can vouch that Agathiyar is all-loving, kind, and compassionate. I guess if I could accept these experiences in me, then I should take heart in all the numerous telltale stories that we have heard since we were young. Amidst the many unexplained phenomena and mysteries of life and its questions that cropped up often, I am still firmly anchored in the worship of the Siddhas, a path shown to me by Agathiyar in the Nadi. Although it would be nice and proper to know his origin and all related things about him, I could still go along and take this walk with him without knowing it, just as the verses கண்ணுக்குத் தெரியாமல் நின்றாலும் எனக்குக், குறை ஒன்றும் இல்லை மறைமூர்த்தி கண்ணா, that though you stay out of my sight, it does not matter, for I still have faith in you.
Just as gravity was in existence before Sir Isaac Newton discovered it, and will be in existence till the last moments of this cosmos, and all the laws of nature were in existence and will be around, functioning perfectly well and in time; whether we choose to believe or not, these mysteries too are all there irrespective of our faith or belief. What is important is his message, which comes as a blessing and gift in times of our need.