I have been worshipping all my life, until Lord Siva, in an attempt to cool me down, came in a dream and asked me to take a break from my home puja, temple visits, and readings for some 14 years between 1988 and 2002. Then the call to come to the worship of the Siddhas came through the Nadi in 2002. Calling me to the path, Agathiyar laid the slabs, paving the way to walk his path. Continuing the tradition of Sariyai now, after a long lapse, I chanted a long list of names of the Siddhas and sang their praises in addition to the original lists of deities. Agathiyar then listed the benefits of carrying out Siddha puja on Full Moon nights in my Nadi reading.
Many in this world utter my name (Agathiyar),Prayers done truthfully (to Siddhas) shall gain many benefits,
Prayers shall bring much joy,
Prayers done moderately but splendidly and honestly shall help protect the world,
Prayers done with fellow devotees will bring many benefits,
Many shall rise in stature and power,
Prayers will lead to a state of bliss,
Prayers done on full moon days shall strengthen the Jothi within,
Prayers will help remove doubts,
Through prayers, one shall attain godhead,
Strength, grace, and wealth shall be gained,
Stay on this path of devotion, and family bonds shall be strengthened,
All that is asked for shall be gained,
Prayers shall lead to meditation and charitable thoughts,
All ills shall be removed,
God shall listen to prayers,
Idiots shall become geniuses,
The benefits attained from prayers are indescribable, for many changes shall take place.
Agathiyar then sent Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram to Malaysia in 2005 to preach the path of the Siddhas. We meet, and he officially initiates me into the path, nurtures and molds me by breaking me first and fixing me later. By having me carry out rituals such as the lighting of the sacred fire, the Homam, Tavayogi and Agathiyar brought me to Kriya. While Tavayogi told me to do it to appease Mother Earth and Nature and save us from her wrath, Agathiyar came later in the Nadi to convince me that I was not doing it for myself but for the good of all, the Prapanjam. They had connected me to Prapanjam. In later years, Ramalinga Adigal, coming through devotees, was to help us reach out to her. In doing it diligently and consciously, this ritual drew the bridge down for the Siddhas to come down and sit among us. It was only when he had a family come over to my home and sit in on this ritual, recently, that Agathiyar showed me and had me realize that we could burn our karma in its fire, hence wiping out what was fated, and draw up a new destiny. He made me realize why Tavayogi had prepared 108 such ritual pits and had each family follow the ritual on his ashram ground back then, and named the event as Sarva Dosa Nivarana Maha Yagam, the Yagam that was to clear all Dosas and Karma and bring relief.
In 2007, Tavayogi officially introduced me to Yoga by demonstrating several Asanas and Pranayama techniques to several others and me. This practice, in bringing in a surge of Prana, connected me to the Prapanjam. And, unknown to me, it brought immediate transformation to my body and mind. It was only in later years that Agathiyar, in the Nadi, in revealing the reason for the unexplained, intense, and excruciating pain in my lower back that I had to live with, revealed that the practice had opened the Muladhara chakra. In 2022, just as Tavayogi had said that our efforts are only till the Svadishtana, Agathiyar helped release the pent-up energy that had pooled at the Svadhistana, to move swiftly within the next couple of days to reach Sahasrara, where the blooming of the 1000-petalled lotus took place. I touched bliss.
Coming as a bronze statue in 2010, which he asked to commission and be made in Swamimalai, Agathiyar has me do an Abhisegam, or libation, to his statue, as an extension of Kriyai. The day after his arrival, as we gathered family and friends to give life to the otherwise inert statue by chanting his name 100,000 times, as directed in the Nadi, Agathiyar came within me while my soul entered the statue. Years later, in 2013, he opened his eyes in his statue to look at us, and for all to see, showing us that he was pretty much alive in the statue. Bringing youths to my home to watch and participate in our home puja the same year, he expanded the worship, bringing it into the corridors of these temples, where we lit lamps and carried out Abhisegam and Homam. Bringing us to carry out charity in the children's homes, the old folks' homes, the streets, and the homes of the poor and unfortunate, he mellowed us, bringing compassion and love to blossom in our hearts and bosoms, too. Through devotion and service, cooperation, and goodwill, we made great strides, proudly and cheerfully walking the path.
In 2016, not knowing that it was to be the finale, we brought Agathiyar's statue into the homes of devotees who invited the visiting Tavayogi and Mataji. Then, just before ego and pride could get into our heads, Agathiyar had me bring the shutters down, hence bringing a halt to puja and charity in 2019. In initiating the move to do so, he made me let go of my association and attachment with the AVM group that had grown and flourished and was at its peak of activities. While some were confused, others continued with their home puja. As for me, I was asked to go within.
Taking up the Yogic practice beginning in 2007, which Tavayogi showed me, unknown to me, it brought immediate transformation to my body and mind. It was only in later years that Agathiyar, in the Nadi, in revealing the reason for the unexplained, intense, and excruciating pain in my lower back that I had to live with, revealed that the practice had opened the Muladhara chakra. In 2022, just as Tavayogi had said that our efforts are only till the Svadishtana, Agathiyar helped release the pent-up energy that had pooled at the Svadishtana, to move swiftly within the next couple of days to reach Sahasrara, where the blooming of the 1000-petalled lotus took place. I touched bliss.
In 2024, Agathiyar, wanting to test me to see if I was willing to let go of my attachment to his statue, too, asked me to leave my home and had me bring his statue into the homes of several devotees. I did as told, letting go of my association and attachment to his statue. Having tested me, he returned to AVM, bringing LobaMa with him also as a bronze statue that was sponsored and worshiped by a devotee. Subsequently, he held the 60th wedding anniversary for my wife and me to prove the critics, who held the opinion that the Siddhas would break up marriages and move them to become hermits, wrong.
Then Agathiyar had me even let go of him too, asking How else could we and would we be one. He implied that we were one, hence bringing me out of Dvaita or Bhakti or devotion, just as Tavayogi had called for, into Advaita or Oneness.
He then told me to know my Atma or Soul and to know Sivam, the Source.
As I flipped through Yogi SAA Ramaiah's book "Babaji Gita" moments ago, Shuddhananda Bharati, in his preface to the book, sums up this transformation from man to Sivam.
Human birth is rare. It is even more rare for a man to become pure, come to know himself and his creator, move away from suffering, and come to the state of Sat Chit Ananda. This state of Sat Chit Ananda is Sivam indeed.
மனிதப் பிறவி மிகவும் அரிது. மனிதன் புனிதனாகித் தன்னை அறிந்து தலைவனை அறிந்து துன்பம் துறந்து தூய இன்ப நிலை பெறுதல் மிகவும் அரிது. தூய இன்ப நிலையே சிவம்.
I have arrived at the destination, or rather, I have come to settle in my home, in the source.
I understand why my first guru, Supramania Swami, in receiving me in Tiruvannamalai, told me that it has all ended for me having stepped into the Holy presence of Lord Arunachala. I understand why Agathiyar, in having me go on my maiden pilgrimage to India in 2003, had me circumambulate the Holy Hill last. Everything that Tavayogi said in passing to me is making sense only now as I arrive there. I see why he had me carry out a Homam, a smaller version of his Yagam that he did on his ashram grounds beginning in 2005, a year after the Tsunami hit the shores of India and many nations. He told me that it was to appease the wrath of Mother Nature. Agathiyar, coming through the Nadi, later told me the same: that I was not doing it for myself but for the betterment of the world at large. I have come to understand, after some 24 years traveling the path, that there was a means to play our role in helping Mother Earth heal. Similarly, at the peak of the pandemic, Lord Siva had Mahindren take notes and pass them to me, asking us to carry out a Homam in our homes to heal her during the lockdown. Later, Prapanjam herself came through another devotee and asked that she relay the message to me to carry out the Homam, fearing another round of the deadly virus sweeping by. If Tavayogi initiated the move to later have families sit around individual fire pits as he attended to the main pit, Agathiyar recently showed me that taking up the ritual of sitting around the fire pit and feeding the flame, besides drawing the bridge down to the world of the Siddhas, and having them come by, helps burn our past Karma; hence having us take responsibility for all our actions and not to depend on others. And so I began to understand why Tavayogi, at the very first visit to my home, thrashed me for looking up to him as a Holy person but pointed me to Agathiyar instead. He had me drop my dependency on the physical guru even before the thought arose in me. He had me drop my dependency on amulets, precious gems, and Rasamani, or mercury bead that I was wearing, and the Rudraksha too, even before the thought came to me. Agathiya,r after having me commission and bring his bronze statue over from Swamimalai, later asked me to leave my home for another, breaking my hold on his form and image. Finally, he had me even let go of him, asking How else could we become one, the Yegan. If he had, through Mahindren, given us a memo in which he explained the Udal or Body, Spirit or Breath, and Atma or Soul to us and delved into the mystery of taking birth much earlier, he then asked me to know the Soul or Atma and know Sivam to arrive there.
Having me take notes, Agathiyar had me share the journey towards Light with the handful gathered at my home during the Guru Purnima puja of 2024, bringing a close to all confusion regarding the journey. In asking us who Agathiyan was, he explained the journey of transformation into becoming him, or the Light within, or rather to rediscover him in us. He poses the questions to us and answers them too.
"Who is Agathiyan?
You are. I am. True. We all are Agathiyan. The Jothi, or flame or Light in us, is Agathiyan. He resides as the fire, flame, heat, and warmth in us. He is Esan. He is the Esan who resides within.
Why is it that we do not realize or feel him?
It is because we have not attained the state of preparedness or readiness to realize him. Once our soul attains this state, we shall begin to realize him.
How can we attain this state of preparedness? First, we have to travel this path. We need to travel to the places and abodes of the Siddhas, witness their miracles, enter the states of bliss, and bring back these feelings and work on them, nurturing them. The Siddha shall come down. When we follow their directives, they shall walk with us, holding our hands. This travel then shall not be that of an external but of an internal journey. Yoga is the key to this travel within. From Sariyai arriving at Kriyai, now they shall teach Yogam. The journey within shall begin. You shall witness happenings. You shall see many things. It would be puzzling to you. It would be new to you too. Continuing this internal journey, you shall arrive at each Chakra and eventually see the cosmic dance of Thillai in Sahasrara. A 1000-petaled flower will keep on opening up continuously. Arutjothi will come to reside here. Then its effulgence enters within, and just as the Kundalini, upon awakening, traverses each Chakra, purifying them, this effulgence brings on the shine and luminosity in them. Jothi Darisanam takes place where one sees the light or effulgence. The body takes on the same. Vibrations begin to emit within and around us and are felt by those tuned to receive and feel them around us. They shall follow you. You become a Jeeva Mukta, having attained Mukti while living in the flesh.
Henceforth you are no different from Agathiyan, and Agathiyan is no different from you. You are me, and I am you."
The journey is simply about accumulating things and later willingly letting them go, after taking in the ambrosia that comes from these experiences that churn the deepest depths of us. Through Maya, or illusion, we are taught and given experiences that bring us out of the darkness and quicksand and into the Light and freedom. The Soul is freed from the chain of Maya, things of its own making, eventually.
In a video, apparently of a doctor from Malaysia who survived to share what he saw in the brief moment he was knocked out by debris and the flowing waters of the Nepal flooding recently, we are told that he saw everything as light: the rocks, boulders, trees, and he saw the souls as blazing lights happily making their way towards a particular direction. Watching this, I asked myself if everything was light indeed. Doing the last cremation rites at the riverbank for my late mother, the man assigned to carry out the entire ceremony said a prayer, bringing our attention to the running waters, the trees, rocks, and soil, telling us that she would be in all of nature from this day forth. Ramalinga Adigal, in departing this world, is said to have brought the attention of the handful gathered that he would be in everything henceforth.
Just as we came from the Light and shall return to it, meanwhile living as beacons, candles and mediums of Light, the soil, earth, waters, air, space, fire and all of nature too are mediums, having a distinct purpose and role here. Each is a spiritual catalyst to another: the parents to their children, the teacher to their students, the gurus to their disciples, nature to mankind, and the Lord to us.