A reader from Delhi emailed me many years back asking if Tavayogi could heal him. He had taken up numerous practices and had to bear the pain as a result of energy blockages. Mailing him after 8 years, I was saddened to hear that he was still in pain. None of his masters could help him.
A friend and devotee working abroad has had bodily pains for some time now as a result of learning certain Yoga techniques from an established spiritual movement back home. He had to leave his job abroad to seek appropriate alternative treatment closer to his home.
A devotee who frequented my home complained about energy surges within. When I asked him to return to his guru, he told me that his guru was roaming the streets and had gone mad.
A seeker went to look up a guru who was visiting Malaysia several years ago. The guru who was sitting on a bench in the park initiated him, placing his palm on the former's belly, which started a swirl and did something within. This seeker, who began his search at the age of 25, had previously been to numerous places and stayed at ashrams, learning and practicing techniques. He told me he had to escape from the last one he stayed in while overseas. Back home, he came under the tutorship of another, but the ties between them turned sour after it appeared that the guru had placed obstacles in his path. It pains me to hear that gurus could do such things. It pains me to see them all in pain.
Many give initiation by touch in assemblies without taking into consideration the age, illnesses, and medication taken, if any. It frightens me to see these innocent seekers shake and roll and scream and cry during these moments of initiation. Then they all leave, going back to what they do best: the gurus returning to plan and chart another round of initiation, and the seekers returning to their daily chores. The mere attendance and presence of a devotee, after being coaxed to attend by a friend, at one of these assemblies, landed her in trouble.
Many pick up practices, some paying a hefty sum, and begin to teach others, too. When a friend and yoga master asked me why I did not teach others, I told him that the practice Tavayogi gave me was for me to practice and see results. He never told me to teach another. It would be akin to the blind leading the blind, for I would not know the full potential of what was given to me back then. In fact, I am still trying to reckon with this force and trying to figure out, understand, and manage it even now.
Then many take to social media to share and teach without the element of direct contact. Most recently, a young girl who picked up such a practice from social media scared the wits of her family and me when I was told that she was contemplating suicide.
If Tavayogi told me a student would be assessed and tested for some 12 years first before they would part with the knowledge, modern-day gurus rush into giving initiations, sharing their knowledge, and giving away practices as if passing on goodies without knowing what they are doing. Then some take to social media, taking on the role of a guru. Be careful out there, be it in establishments or on the net, where we have so much knowledge, practice, advice, and tutorials made available these days. A refresher course could be followed online, but not when you are new to it. Vet through and engage with the genuine ones that your soul will guide you to with the grace and blessings of the divine whom you follow.
The genuine gurus like Tavayogi, Rengarajah Desigar, and Yogi Ramsuratkumar even hesitate to bless another, much less touch them. Tavayogi cites karma as a reason, while the Yogi did not want to disturb the energy and blessing a seeker had received from Mata Amritanandamayi before coming over. Rengarajah Desigar told me coming to his ashram, Ongkarakudil itself, was a blessing. He sent me away without his blessing, making me confused and angry. I only came to understand later that he must have known that I was fated to meet my very first guru in a couple of days, and respecting that, he gave way to the blessings that were to come my way.
It is indeed sad to see seekers, in genuinely wanting to deepen their spiritual knowledge and practice, fall into these pits and find it difficult to come out of them, some having to bear the cost of living with pain and discomfort for a very long time. Maybe that is the way it was meant to be, and that they needed those bad experiences, too. If the solace is that it might make some stronger, others might leave for good and never return.
I favor Bhagawan Ramana in this case, for he never would pass on a technique or practice but would have seekers carry on with what they were currently doing. Tavayogi, stepping onto our shores, initially lamented that we were still in devotion or Bhakti and would ask to come to Gnanam. Soon, he too let things be as he saw how steeped we were in the former. Agathiyar too asked me to tone down my writing, for otherwise I would scare away the seekers, he said.