I was in the traditional form of worship to Gods and Goddesses both at home and at the temples until an officer at my office passed me Yogananda Paramahansa's "Autobiography of a Yogi" and a painting of Lord Shiva as a parting gift. Mr. Sekaran was leaving for Yogananda's Ranchi Ashram to become a monk. He was in his early thirties then and had contemplated on it each time he returned home from a visit to the ashram. After his fifth visit, he decided to leave for good and never return. He submitted his resignation and left his job and family to start a new life. If Yogananda Paramahansa's autobiography pulled me to learn more about gurus and masters, Pandit Gopi Krishna's book on "Kundalini - Path to Higher Consciousness" intrigued me. It is of no surprise if the masters and gurus who had observed celibacy and adopted rigid practices and austerities in seclusion away from society perform this feat and raise this energy. But here was a book written on the accidental and sudden arousal of the much spoken and feared energy in a family man. The book captivated me. Fear crept in me too. I kept away from indulging in anything that would arise this energy. Anyway, I told myself of what use was this energy to a family man like me who still had many responsibilities to see through.
It is only when we come to that particular spot that the saints stood on that we understand better their teachings, practice, and behaviors. When Tavayogi began writing he sought a quiet place. He chose to go to Sargurunathar's ashram some distance away. I thought why should he go elsewhere when he had the ashram where he could lock himself up all day long. When I was at his ashram with my family he brought us to Sargurunathar's ashram. We realized why he chose to write both his books there. It is said that Yogananda Paramahansa would sit by the open window and gaze at the skies and pen his work "God Talks with Arjuna - The Bhagavad Gita". The words would come gushing down in torrents. The serene and quiet atmosphere was absent at Kallar Ashram as devotees made their way there. Today as I pen these pages I too am in need of silence as the thought takes shape and as the words and sentences start rushing in. As Yogi Ramsuratkumar says it is difficult for us to meditate these days as there is too much interference in the airways so too we realize that it is difficult to put our thoughts on paper in a noisy neighborhood. When new tenants stepped into the houses both to the right and left of mine, I had to face a lot of din and noise. Bringing it to them occasionally worked fine for a couple of days but they were back to it later. Bringing it to the divine in my prayers, Ramalinga Adigal tells me that these irritations were there doing too. To test me further Agathiyar asked me to sleep in my prayer room. That is where all those neighborhood noises were heard clearly at night. The rattling air conditioners from the neighboring homes, the neighbor's children who would stay awake all night long fighting, shouting, and arguing till dawn, their parents who sleep in the day and work and move around at night, etc gave me sleepless nights and kept me awake. I was expected to overcome it. Mataji used to tell us that we should learn to become tolerant. Supramania Swami told my colleague that he hears nothing when my colleague questioned the din that came from a newly erected workshop right beside the kudil we built for him. Acharya Gurudasan tells us that the noise of the trains that traverse along the railway tracks beside his father's office where he started to meditate did not affect him. I realize that I have a long way to go. Then I asked myself if that was why Agathiyar and Lord Murugan wanted me to move. But the reason Agathiyar gave was that the existing space in my home could not accommodate the large crowds that he planned and intended to bring over for our puja and his Vizha. Lord Murugan on the other hand wanted a proper temple. Hence the reason they came, again and again, to suggest I move. If they had told me of the impending troubles I would have to endure I would have moved away seeking somewhere quiet. But my place was quiet in the beginning as the access road to my housing was a dead-end then in 1994. Only residents used to ply the road. With the local council giving approvals to open up the road it now links us to numerous other housings over the hill that was bulldozed through. With Waze and Google Maps guiding motorists through these residential areas to avoid the pile-up of cars on the highway that runs by my housing estate, there is none stop traffic even in the dead of the night. Then there is dust that settles as a result of this heavy traffic, not forgetting the occasional odor that comes from the neighboring industrial estate. I cannot stomach the smell of eggs, fish, white meat, red meat, etc either raw or cooked on the frying pan these days. These smells make their way into our homes too. Then there is the stench of neighbor's cat's poo too. God help me. This might not be a problem to others but as a beginner like me asked to meditate it surely is a challenge. Bringing it to them again, Lord Shiva came and told me that he was aware of my dilemma. I shall move he said. But all is silent out there, for now, not the din but I mean with the Siddhas. The din still goes on till the early morning hours.
I have come to realize that others either are not disturbed by it or scorn within and are not telling out. But I realized I am going through a phase where my hearing is amplified, my taste buds enhanced, my sight improved, and my nostrils identifies the slightest smell or aroma or odor these days. My skin pores have started breathing in the air apart from the nostrils. As I pick flowers in my garden, mild "electricity" passes from the tree into me. The breeze and winds that blow invigorate and energizes. The vision is clear now bringing pleasantness and joy. What was a - 4.5 diopter correction in my right eye and - 4 in my left in 2008, took a dive and became - 3.75 in both my eyes in 2014. Then it took a further dive again in 2020 becoming - 1.75 and 1.5 respectively. I can hear all the minute sounds and noises. All the motors that run the household appliances and equipment, the humming from the electricity that flows in the wires, the chirping of the birds and insects are all amplified. Some pleasant but others maddening. Hence everything either is a joy or is an irritation. Above all this, I can feel the pain of others bringing tears to my eyes.
Wondering what was happening I looked through my small library of books. Swami Muktananda sheds some light in his book "Kundalini - The Secret of Life" published by Siddha Yoga Publication, 1994.
He writes that "On her journey to the Sahasrara, kundalini passes through all the sense organs, purifying them and investing them with new powers." He adds that when the chakras of the sense organs are purified the physical senses become sharpened and refined. "As kundalini rises to the ocular center, she purifies the eyes." I have yet to experience what was written. "As the kundalini purifies the sense of touch, one begins to feel thrilled of love through every pore and hair of the body. One becomes immersed in the joy of touch." I have seen brief moments of this joy. "When kundalini reaches the center of smell it purifies that and one comes into direct contact with the essence of smell." Indeed I can smell the essence of things these days. I have yet to smell the subtle smells that the Swami talks about. "When the Shakti moves to the auditory center, she purifies this too." I have yet to hear the celestial harmonies as described by him. "When a shower of nectar is released and begins to fall dropping onto the root of the tongue, the taste buds become extremely refined. Even the simplest food is relished", he says. This is indeed true. There are moments when there is an absence of hunger. At other times one can eat like horse.
All this is a reminder that Ramalinga Adigal came to give us recently, "போதும் என்ற மனமே பொன் செய்யும் மருந்து" and goes on to explain its meaning, "நீ போதும் என்று சொல்லும் நிலை உன்னை அறியாமல் நீ பெற்றுக்கொண்டுதான் இருக்கிறாய்."
The more we move away from the desire for more wants, it shall come onto you, gifted each time.
But all these could be my imagination as some might suggests. I turn to Agathiyar for confirmation. I look back into my past Nadi readings for Agathiyar and the other Siddhas had outlined the process and the transformation on this journey very briefly back then.
17.2.2007
சொல் மாற்றம் வாக்கு மாற்றம் நடை உடை மாற்றம் கண்டேன்.
Changes in speech, walk, and dressing is seen.
4.3.2007
குரல் வளமும் இளமையும் வசீகர தெளிவும் என் பூசையில் மாற்றம் காண்பாய்.
Changes in the voice, youth, aura, and clarity shall result from performing the Siddha puja.
10.3.2007 பிருகு
ஒப்பில்லா ஞான கனல் தேகம் தன்னில் உருவாகும் தவ ஞான பயிற்சி தன்னால்.
Bhrigu comes to reveal that the internal heat shall build-up due to these tapas and practices.
18.5.2008 பதஞ்சலி
பயிற்சிகளும் முறையே செய்ய வர்ணமும் ஆதாரம் சித்தி ஓங்கும். வண்ணமதாய் பயிற்சிகளும் முறையே செய்ய வளம் பெருக்கும் வர்ணமும் ஆதாரம் சித்தி. கொண்டதோர் குண்டலினி ஓங்கும் பாரு.
Pathanjali came to mention the inherent changes taking place. In carrying out the yoga practices the aura and chakras shall be enhanced. Kundalini shall rise.
The continued practice of Yoga Asanas and Pranayama that Tavayogi taught us on his visit to Malaysia and the Siddhas revealed in the Nadi led to many changes that took place within. The volume of prana inhaled expanded to the brim of the lungs and the body bursting. But the feeling was of joy, not the least hurtful. But what did hurt was my back later towards 2011. I was continuing the practices. Agathiyar came in the Nadi to drive me to do too.
3.4.2010
சாதகனே என் யோகா பயற்சி தன்னை சாற்ற நீ தினம் காலை மாலையும் தான் சரி சிறப்பாய் செய்து வர யோகம் அப்பா.
Agathiyar encouraged me to carry on all the practices given.
9.8.2010
உண்டான ஞான கனல் மிகுந்த காலம் உயர்வான காலம் இது இந்தக் காலம்.
He points out that the tapas has generated extreme heat within what he calls Gnana Kanal.
17.10.2010
அடையோகம் தன்னில் கிட்டும் சித்தி எல்லாம் அவையனைத்தும் தவமொடு வழிபாட்டில் பெறுவாய். ஆனதொரு ஆரோக்கியம் மட்டும் சோடை. ஒளடதமும் பிடகனை அறிந்து ஏற்க்கவே மாற்றங்கள் ஏற்றம் கிட்டும். என் அருளால் பூரணமாய் பரிசுத்தம் காண்பாய்.
What is generally achieved through Hathayoga is now possible through Tapas and Puja. But he points out to my health that was declining. He asked to see a Siddha physician who can bring it back to its former state. With his grace, I shall recover well.
19.4.2011
In a timely manner, I received his Moola Mantra too through the Nadi. This was a panacea for all curses, sins, diseases, and arrogance. I began to chant it.
ஓம் ஸ்ரீம் ஓம் சற்குரு பதமே
சாப பாவ விமோசனம்
ரோக அகங்கார தூர் விமோசனம்
சர்வதேவ சகலசித்த ஒளி ரூபம்
சற்குருவே ஓம் அகத்திய கிரந்த கர்த்தாய நம
Then my back hurt very much. I thought initially I have pulled a nerve as I cleared my throat during my morning bath as always. As I threw out the sputum, I felt an excruciating pain in my left buttocks, that went down right up to my toes. It made me squat in pain. I had to crawl out of the bathroom after some time. The pain aggravated by each day. Initially, I could not walk for a long distance and a long time and had to look for a place to rests my feet and aching back. Then I could not sit for long too. Sitting was itself painful. Then the pain woke me up in my sleep. I had to crawl out of bed. What was to be a restful sleep turned into a nightmare as I would wake up with bodily pains. That is how I shuttled between work and home. Driving was painful too as I had to engage the clutch. Seeking the late Dr. Krishnan, a Siddha physician, and friend, for advice, he checked three aspects of my health and struck them off as potential causes or reasons. I did not have pain while urinating. Neither did I have blood in my urine. So I had no stone in me. My feet were not swollen so my kidneys were fine. Lastly, he asked me to take an X-ray to determine if I had slip disc. I headed for the nearest government clinic. The X-ray showed nothing wrong with my back and backbone. But they referred me to the Orthopedic Specialist at the general hospital for a second opinion. She gave me a clean slate too. I returned to the clinic to begin my session of physiotherapy that began on 12.5.2011.
Meanwhile, I called up to see Ramesh and read Agathiyar's Nadi.
9.8.2011
ஆக்கையிலும் அகத்தியன் அருளும் பார்வையும் அருள்படிய மிகுந்திருக்க குழப்பம் கொள்ள. தக்கதொரு அகத்தீசன் நாமம் ஓதி ஓதியே உருவும் ஏறி ஓதாத காலத்திலும் ஓதி கொண்டிருக்கு. உருவேற்றி உருவேற்றி உயர்வடைய செய்தாய். உன்னை காத்து வாழவைப்பேன் நானும்.
Then Agathiyar specifically addressed my issue in his நடைமுறை பிரசன்ன ஆசி நூல். Agathiyar addressed the issue clearly.
26.11. 2011
தரணிதன்னில் எங்கள் வழி மார்க்கத்தில் தப்பாது பூசையும் தவமும் செய்து தான் உயர்வு அடைந்திட்ட பாலகன் உனக்குத் தரணியே உயிர் பிணி ஏது சொல்வோம் உடல் பிணி ஏதுதான் அச்சம்கொள்ள. பாரிச பீடைகளும் வந்து நிற்கும். உற்றதொரு மூலாதார சக்கரமும் உயர் விதமாய் உட்டனங்கள் அடைந்ததனாலே உரைக்க வரும் சோர்வும் தேகம் தன்னில். உரைக்கலாம் முக்கூற்று திருப்பும் இப்போ முறையாகச் சம நிலையில் இல்லாதிருக்க சோதனைகள் வந்து நிற்க்கும் அச்சம் மிதந்து. சிறப்பு தரும் வாகடமும் செப்பலாம். அமலாகி வாகடனத்தை சுத்தமுடன் மண்டலங்கள் எடுக்க நன்று. சிறப்பு தரும் யோகம் மாறாத் தனக்கு இப்போ த்ரிபலாகி லேகியம். செப்பலாம் தவம் தன்னை நிறுத்திவைக்க. சிறப்பு இருக்கு வழிபாடும் முறையே மாறாது சூரிய வழிபாடும் செய்ய வழிபாடும் வேலவர்க்கும் முறையே செய்யப் பங்கம் ஏதும் வந்திடாது கலக்கம் கொள்ள.
Agathiyar spelled out the reasons and the solution in the form of several Siddha herbs and prayers. He classifies my agony as Paareesa Peedai or உடலின் ஒரு பக்கம் that was external and "superficial, existing or occurring at or on the surface and appearing to be true or real only until examined more closely." He says the Muladhara chakra had attained intense heat resulting in my condition leading to immobility. The three dosas too have gone haywire. He asked to consume Amalaki and Triphala. He asked that I stop all forms of tapas for the time being. He asked that I pray to the Sun God and Lord Murugan to bring relief.
16.1.2011
வாகடன்கள் தேகத்திற்கு மட்டும் வளத்துடனே அரை மண்டலாம் எடுத்துக் கொள்ள தேகமத்தில் குறை வாரா.
Agathiyar continued to monitor my situation and called me in for further readings where he assured me that all shall be fine. Agathiyar asked me to continue taking the prescription for another half a mandalam.
On 15.2.2012 the physiotherapist asked me to show before her the exercises, she had taught me and that I had put into practice the past seven months. As I moved into position to began to raise my right leg behind me and stretch my back, there was something like a latch released, a dam burst, a knot that was untied or loosened, as if something gave way, and it brought instantaneous relief and joy to the extent I shouted out and cried in joy. The excruciating pain left magically and mysteriously just as it had come on upon me.
All was well until ......