If parents feel blessed when they know that they are having a child, and are full of joy when they hold their child in their hands, that is the exact feeling of coming to the path with faith and achieving a stand. If the child becomes our world henceforth, so does the divine grab all our attention henceforth. Just as we become the child, we become the divine. It is only when the ego in us comes to take charge of our lives that we falter. When I am not even sure if I will wake up tomorrow, how can I have dreams to catch up on? What determines our lifespan and time on this earth? What determines when and where we shall be born? Are we in charge? Is all this in our hands? Yet we take on life as if we own it. We are here on borrowed time. The timekeeper keeps count and comes knocking on our door, often ending it abruptly. Has anyone tied up the loose ends and waited on death as a butler waits on his master? We often begin to bargain with God or Death for extra time, telling him that we have much left to do.
In asking a new devotee to read this blog from the beginning, Agathiyar seems to tell me that what was written in my early days of search and venture is still relevant to newcomers. However, much has happened and taken place since then that has brought me to change my perspective, opinions, and understanding.
We all have to walk from the darkness into the light, from confusion to clarity. This birth and journey are of that. We drop walking aimlessly or in circles when a guru comes by. The movie "Manasvi" carries several pertinent messages. It explains why someone comes along in our lives, our joint purpose, often a vessel for a higher power, of words flowing through us, losing hold of one's mere existence, and of a burning yearning to know one's purpose. We are told by an Aghori that if we want to know our Self, we must experience darkness first. We are asked by a Buddhist monk, when what we are searching for is within us, why are we wandering here and there? We are told that, in a way, there is no difference between our consciousness and that of Buddha's. But yet it seems to be for we are so bonded to our worldly obligations and have created darkness within ourselves. Our desires are the cause of our miseries. All upheavals in the mind are a result of Karma, we are told. When we awaken, we shall know that no one but ourselves is responsible. Tavayogi often says the same that it is all our own doing. Agathiyar, too, in coming a couple of days back, pointed out the same, brushing away the accusation and the idea of others causing us harm. Agathiyar recently said the same that creation was pure in the beginning, but Maya surfaced in our minds and wreaked havoc. We are to be the light unto ourselves. Only then is it possible to know the Bodhi element that is steeped in all of existence. We are told not to touch the extremes in whatever we do. When one attains a state of bliss and is absorbed in it, he should not forever remain in this state alone, as even that is extreme. Spend some time in it and some in the service of others, and towards the welfare of all. I guess this is what Agathiyar reminded me too, asking why I was thinking hard if I should do a thing, after having asked to refrain from all actions. He told me that it would become an experience to be learned and understood. We are witnesses to what is told that "In the void of the state of trance, when love bursts forth, it gives rise to boundless compassion and is showered on all." We saw Lord Muruga, Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, Bhagawan Ramana, Yogi Ramsuratkumar, and Tavayogi's boundless love and compassion in these moments when they came through devotees for us. We are told that the Mantra activates the Tantra, and Tantra that activates Yantra. We are told further that it is this combination that preserves the balance both in the body and the universe. I remember Dr. Krishnan, a Siddha physician and practitioner, and astrologer, passing me a Yantra and later a Mantra of Agathiyar to help kickstart my journey in coming to worship the Siddhas. Just as the kings mount chariots, our consciousness mounts this body and also an onion. Consciousness powers every cell, atom, and particle. I realized that this is how we solve puzzles and riddles, something often spoken by Tavayogi in all his talks. The world is a cremation ground to one who has attained the state of Siva.