Sariyai
I have been worshipping all my life, until Lord Siva, in an attempt to cool me down, came in a dream and asked me to take a break from my home puja, temple visits, and readings for some 14 years between 1988 and 2002. Then the call to come to the worship of the Siddhas came through the Nadi in 2002. Calling me to the path, Agathiyar laid the slabs, paving the way in walking his path. Continuing the tradition of Sariyai now, after a long lapse, I chanted a long list of names of the Siddhas and sang their praises in addition to the original lists of deities.
Kriyai
Agathiyar then sends Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram to Malaysia in 2005 to preach the path of the Siddhas. We meet, and he officially initiates me into the path, nurtures and molds me, by breaking me first and fixing me later. By having me carry out rituals such as the lighting of the sacred fire, the Homam, Tavayogi, and Agathiyar brought me to Kriya. While Tavayogi told me to do it to appease Mother Earth and Nature and save us from her wrath, Agathiyar came later in the Nadi to convince me that I was not doing it for myself but for the good of all, the Prapanjam. They had connected me to Prapanjam. In later years, Ramalinga Adigal, coming through devotees, was to help us reach out to her. In doing it deligently and consciously, this ritual drew the bridge down for the Siddhas to come down and sit among us. It was only when he had a family come over to my home and sit in on this ritual, recently, that Agathiyar showed me and had me realize that we could burn our karma in its fire, hence wiping out what was fated, and draw up a new destiny. He made me realize why Tavayogi had prepared 108 of such ritual pits and had each family follow the ritual on his ashram ground back then, and named the event as Sarva Dosa Nivarana Maha Yagam, the Yagam that was to clear all Dosas and Karma and bring relief.
Yogam
In 2007, Tavayogi officially introduced me to Yoga by demonstrating several Asanas and Pranayama techniques to several others and me. This practice, in bringing in a surge of Prana, connected me to the Prapanjam. And, unknown to me, it brought immediate transformation to my body and mind. It was only in later years that Agathiyar, in the Nadi, in revealing the reason for the unexplained, intense, and excruciating pain in my lower back that I had to live with, revealed that the practice had opened the Muladhara chakra. In 2022, just as Tavayogi had said that our efforts are only till the Svadishtana, Agathiyar helped release the pent-up energy that had ponded at the Svadhistana, to move swiftly within the next couple of days to reach Sahasrara, where the blooming of the 1000-petalled lotus took place. I touched bliss.
Coming as a bronze statue in 2010, which he asked to commission and be made in Swamimalai, Agathiyar has me do an Abhisegam or libation to his statue, as an extension of Kriyai. The day after his arrival, as we gathered family and friends to give life to the otherwise inert statue by chanting his name 100,000 times, as directed in the Nadi, Agathiyar came within me while my soul entered the statue. Years later, in 2013, he opened his eyes in his statue to look at us, and for all to see, showing us that he was pretty much alive in the statue. Bringing youths to my home to watch and participate in our home puja the same year, he expanded the worship, bringing it into the corridors of these temples, where we lit lamps and carried out Abhisegam and Homam. Bringing us to carry out charity in the children's homes, the old folks homes, the streets, and the homes of the poor and unfortunate, he mellowed us, bringing compassion and love to blossom in our hearts and bosoms, too. Through devotion and service, cooperation, and goodwill, we made great strides, proudly and cheerfully walking the path.
In 2016, not knowing that it was to be the finale, we brought Agathiyar's statue into the homes of devotees who invited the visiting Tavayogi and Mataji. Then, just before ego and pride could get into our heads, Agathiyar had me bring the shutters down, hence bringing a halt to puja and charity in 2019. In initiating the move to do so, he made me let go of my association and attachment with the AVM group that had grown and flourished and was at its peak of activities. While some were confused, others continued with their home puja. As for me, I was asked to go within.
In 2024, Agathiyar, wanting to test me to see if I was willing to let go of my attachment to his statue, too, asked to leave my home and had me bring his statue into the homes of several devotees. I did as told, letting go of my association and attachment to his statue. Having tested me, he returned to AVM, bringing LobaMa with him also as a bronze statue that was sponsored and worshiped by a devotee. Subsequently, he held the 60th wedding anniversary for my wife and me to prove the critics, who held the opinion that the Siddhas would break up marriages and move them to become hermits, wrong.
Gnanam
Then Agathiyar had me even let go of him too, asking for how else could we and would we be one. He implied that we were one, hence bringing me out of Dvaita or Bakti or devotion, just as Tavayogi had called for, into Advaita or Oneness.
He then told me to know my Atma or Soul and to know Sivam, the Source.
As I flipped through Yogi SAA Ramaiah's book "Babaji Gita" moments ago, Shuddhananda Bharati, in his preface to the book, writes about this transformation from man to Sivam.
Human birth is rare. It is even more rare for a man to become pure, come to know himself and his creator, move away from suffering, and come to the state of Sat Chit Ananda. This state of Sat Chit Ananda is Sivam indeed.
மனிதப் பிறவி மிகவும் அரிது. மனிதன் புனிதனாகித் தன்னை அறிந்து தலைவனை அறிந்து துன்பம் துறந்து தூய இன்ப நிலை பெறுதல் மிகவும் அரிது. தூய இன்ப நிலையே சிவம்.
I have arrived at the destination, or rather, I have come to settle in my home, in the source.