In the "Author's Notes" of his work of fiction, "The Shack", Windblown Media, 2007, WM Paul Young writes,
Having spent a rough night in the shack, filled with nightmares, Mackenzie emerges onto the porch in the morning, looking disheveled and disorientated. Papa (God) has breakfast waiting for him, and in silence, Mack sits down but doesn't touch his food. Papa, who acknowledges him and continues to talk, finally stops and says, "You know, Mackenzie, part of your problem is that you don't believe that I am good, and until you believe that I am good, you will never trust me."
The now furious Mackenzie, "finally spits out, why would I ever trust you? My daughter is dead!"
Indeed, when we lose someone dear to us, we go into a mode of rejection and anger. I had a relative hit by a car, and she died on the spot in my bachelor days. The husband could not take it and condemned God. We too found it incomprehensible when the accident occurred just minutes after she had prayed at a temple and hailed a taxi as she crossed the road.
Last Monday, a friend and devotee of Agathiyar was killed in a road mishap while returning home with her family after traveling to the north. The car driven by her husband went off the road and landed in a ditch. It was difficult to stomach the news for most of us.
Many years back, another family of devotees of Agathiyar met with serious injuries, while the aged mother was killed on the spot. It was a torment to see them come out of this tragedy.
On the other hand, a niece of mine came out of an accident with minimal injuries while her car was a total wreck, after going off the road. The deity Karupanasamy later revealed that he, together with Goddess Kali and my niece's paternal great-grandmother, had saved her.
A devotee who had a Nadi reading and was returning home knock into a stationary lorry at a traffic light. Agathiyar, who never gave any inclination about the danger that awaited him, addressed the misfortune in a subsequent Nadi reading, telling him that he had held on to him, hence saving him from any injury. Agathiyar said the same when this devotee slipped while hiking the track up to the Pothigai hills earlier.
A friend had taken the pain to consult the Nadi and carry out the remedies on behalf of the relative, who was bedridden. Unfortunately, the relative gave up the fight after two years of suffering and passed away. When others mocked Agathiyar for not saving him, Agathiyar, who surprised them all by coming in another reading, as there is never a reading for one who has died, asked what he was to do when he had told the deceased to uphold his spirit?
When a daughter asked Agathiyar to put an end to her mother's misery, Agathiyar instructed the family to initiate a Homam. The Siddhas came and took it from there, conducting it. They placed the request to Lord Siva, but Siva did not give his consent for reasons known only to them. She is still surviving till this day, much to her agony.
Another lady was told to be prepared to leave, but after initiating the ritual of pouring milk on Agathiyar's statue at a temple on a specific day and for a specified time, she still continues to walk and breathe.
A devotee called me in the wee hours of the morning from the hospital wards, asking me to pray for his mother's survival. I lit a lamp and prayed. She survived the ordeal. After five years, I received a call from him at the same hour and place. She was fighting for her life again. Agathiyar reminded him not to outsource prayers but to take them into his own hands. She died shortly after. When the son was saddened by her demise, the soul of his mother came through one of his siblings and told them that she was in a safe place and with her guru, Shirdi Sai.
When a family went through much suffering and troubles, I candidly told the lady of the house that her story had all the elements and components to make a full-length movie. When I was figuring out how I could help, Agathiyar, coming through a devotee, asked that they light a Homam and place all their troubles into the burning flame. They regained their joy and happiness.
When a man was held by the authorities after he innocently loaned his car to his friends, who were caught in possession of drugs, his wife rushed to Kallar and performed a Yagam on the advice of Mataji. As the truth was on his side, the man was released as he could not be implicated in the case.
When an officer was suspended from work while investigations were going on, and since his passport was held, and he could not travel to Kallar, Mataji suggested that he join my family's puja. As the truth was on his side, he was reappointed to his former job shortly after.
When Tavayogi was admited at a private hospital, and returned to his Kallar Ashram safe, Agathiyar in my Nadi reading told me that the Siddhas had gathered to perform the Yagam so that he could have an extension. Once back, he settled outstanding matters and handed over the running of the Ashram to Mataji and taught her to read the Jeeva Nadi, which continues to be the rice bowl for the Ashram to sustain. He passed away after a year. When I was at his Ashram in 2005, for the very first time, he brought out numerous Nadis and read a transcript of his daughter's Nadi reading where Agathiyar comforts the child that upon his demise, Lord Siva and Paravathi would take his soul away in a Pushpaka Vimanam, "a mythical aerial vehicle described in the ancient Hindu epics," to their abode. A devotee had a dream after his demise, where she saw Tavayogi and several others ferried across an ocean of water in a boat by Lord Siva towards a hill crawling with Siddhas and Rishis going about their work. Dhanvanthri, coming through a devotee, told us that he had attained the state of Light. Later, Agathiyar, coming to assist and guide us further after his demise, told us that Tavayogi was doing his (Agathiyar's) work in their realm.
As we read in "The Shack", "The Shack wrestles with the timeless question: Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain?", many like the above have seen pain and suffering too. And equally many have been saved, too. Why then are exceptions made for some but not for others? Why are some lifespans prolonged while others are taken? No one can truly fathom the mysteries that surround creation, near-death, and death.