I had once backed off after Lord Siva came in a dream, asking me to defer all my doubts and questions that arose after intense reading and standing witness to many happenings that did not tally with what I read, to another day that came after some 14 years, bringing me to read the Nadi in 2002.
And so there came many brief and at times lengthy periods of pause in this journey and travel, much like a cooling period.
Agathiyar, who came into my home in 2010 as a bronze statue commissioned and made in Swamimalai, brought youths to watch my home puja in 2013 and had us carry out charity too, had me wind up the group in 2019 and had others go their way, while he had me go within for the next five years. In 2024, having me break my silence and solitary confinement that he brought on, he had me come out and see what had changed in those missing years from active participation.
If taking up the Yoga practices that Tavayogi showed me in 2007, after Agathiyar hinted to him that he wanted to gift me the night I set foot at his Ashram in 2005, and which Agathiyar told me in his Nadi later was to be treasured, had triggered and opened the Muladhara, releasing the dormant energy to soon pond at Svadhistana bringing on much pain and discomfort for some 2 1/2 years beginning in 2010, Agathiyar had me halt all my Yoga practices at the height of my practice, bringing relief from the pain and suffering I underwent.
But as Tavayogi had told me, our effort was only until Svadhisthana, and the Siddha has to come to give us a hand thenceforth; true enough, Agathiyar came to release the pent-up energies to travel further in 2022. Asking him what I should do further and if there were any further practices, he said there were none and that "she" would do her work. I backed off once again.
If I set off for Kallar Ashram upon Agathiyar directing me to spend two or three days with Tavayogi at his ashram, and after accepting Tavayogi's invitation to visit him, where he took me places, I had not spent any time outside my home since then until several days earlier. As I was speaking to Balamurugan over the phone on Tuesday, we suddenly decided to meet a Siddha Physician. The Siddha Physician, who was currently practicing from the temple grounds, had shared his intent with me to open a proper Siddha clinic in the near future.
Balamurugan, who took up the meditation practices that he learned at Paranjothi Mahan's local chapter, began learning Varma and Thai massage too from other masters. He stayed with Tavayogi at his ashram for several days too and quenched his thirst to know more about the path. He was blessed to touch the face of Mount Kailash with several others in 2011. In later years, he was to make a trip to Kasi to witness the Kumbh Mela.
Since Balamurugan has studied Siddha medicine, Varma, and Thai massage, I suggested that he collaborate with the others to serve the public. But I was surprised that Balamurugan did not bring up the subject of the future clinic with the host. Returning home, he told me that he felt not proper to open up about it at their first meeting after a long time. But Agathiyar had other plans for him. While having him work on me and my body that night at his home, Agathiyar asked Balamurugan to start his own. I was astounded to learn of the events that transpired, which he shared with me, in the wee morning hours on that full moon night. And so was he. Now the ball was in his court, and Balamurugan had to make the necessary moves to serve others too.