I wasn't one who went after publicity. I chose to stay out of the limelight. I was happy with my career and family. I didn't have any ambition. I did not join the race for everything. I preferred to watch rather than join the mad rush. But to my astonishment, everything fell into my lap. It is true what Ramalinga Adigal said, "Whenever you say it is enough you shall tend to gain more." போதும் என்ற மனமே பொன் செய்யும் மருந்து. நீ போதும் என்று சொல்லும் நிலை உன்னை அறியாமல் நீ பெற்றுக் கொண்டுதான் இருக்கிறாய். Indeed it has been this way all this while. The job I held for some 36 years came my way. My colleagues were gems. The house fell into my lap. My parents, wife, children, and grandchildren were god sent. Agathiyar sent his youthful children over to my home AVM to join me in Puja and I became a youth too. Playing with my grandchildren I became a child. I am grateful to the divine for taking care of me, my family, and my friends.
When Tavayogi took me on an exploration of the Siddhas caves and abodes in 2005 he turned to me and said, "Now the true journey begins." I did not understand then. Now I do. Tavayogi had me do charity and feeding beginning at his ashram which was a new experience too. For an introvert like me, I felt I was not knowledgeable enough to speak about the Siddhas when Tavayogi asked me to speak before others at an opening of his branch peedham in Banting in 2007. Moreover, I was a freshie on the path just having come to it 5 years back. But as he had announced it I had to say something. I spoke a few lines about him and continued with the recitation of the Maha Mantra Arutperunjothi. All those gathered followed suit. I had never lit a homam in our lives. He asked me over the phone to carry out a homam at my home simultaneously as he carried it out at his ashram at Kallar. He came over in 2010 and help me fine-tune it. In 2009, Agathiyar had a statue of him made and asked us to bathe him. We never bathe an idol before. I turned to Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar for some pointers. It was a new journey and a new experience indeed. If I was practicing Yoga with whatever little I picked up from books before I came to the path, Tavayogi officially showed us Yoga Asanas and Pranayama and many years later Acharya Gurudasan Years helped us polish the moves and postures and our breathing patterns. Agathiyar asked me to pass it on to Mahindren and later asked him to teach others at AVM. Both Agathiyar and Tavayogi kept creating openings for me to take the centre stage. When I was with my family at his ashram in 2013, Tavayogi asked us to carry out the Nitya puja or daily puja to the Siddhas. As by now we were proficient in singing the praises of the Siddhas and reciting their names, we saw it as an honor to sing at our Thai Veedu. Later when Tavayogi completed his new ashram and did the consecration ceremony in 2016, the AVM family was given the honor to lead in the singing of songs while the Yagam was lit. We saw it as an honor for us to be given the opportunity at Agathiyar's annual celebration. This is how they groomed me to take the lead. We always gave visitors to AVM the privilege to light the Homam and bath Agathiyar. When Tavayogi came to Malaysia with Mataji for the last time in 2016, we took the statue of Agathiyar at AVM to the homes of devotees who invited him over, we gave the host the opportunity to carry out libation and homam witnessed by Tavayogi and Mataji. After the pandemic became endemic devotees began to invite Agathiyar into their homes and carried out libation and lit the homam. My wife and I stand aside as witnesses these days. And so a new journey actually did begin for me, something that we never anticipated or dreamt of.
Now Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal bring us on another phase of this journey that of going within. Agathiyar says, "All this while you saw to your needs in this world. Now you shall undertake an internal journey. All this while you have gained external knowledge or Ulaga Gnanam. Now you shall gain Gnanam that is going to serve you." இது நாள்வரை நீ கடந்து வந்தது இவ்வுலக வாழ்க்கையின் பயணம். இனி நீ கடக்க போவது உமது உள்பயணம். ஒருவன் தனக்குள் உள்வாங்கி அவனுள் பயணம் துவங்கும் நேரம் அப்பயணம் தரும் பாதிப்பே ஞானம். Ramalinga Adigal too comes to monitor our progress. "Have you understood the purpose of asking to go within? Do your experience changes within your body? This is only the start. You shall lay the stepping stones and progress at your pace. An effort is needed." " உன் உள் பயணத்தை அறிந்து கொண்டாயா? தேக மாற்றம் உணருகிறாயா? இதுவே துவக்கம். உனது முயற்சியே உனது படி."
Whatever experiences I am undergoing now within me are not because of my effort but by the grace of the divine too. I am asking myself if I deserve it. Intense and constant thought on the divine removes all the shackles that prevent and hold us from venturing further. We need his grace to break the shackles and free us. Indeed Agathiyar on 30.1. 2020 told me "You cannot possibly break the shackle alone. Hence follow the practices that I am to give you." "நீ உலக வாழ்க்கையில் நீர்தேங்கிறாய். இவ்கடிவாளத்தால் உம்மால் மீண்டு வர இயலாது. ஆகையால் யாம் சொல்லும் வழிமுறைகளைச் செய்து வா. That is the compassion of the guru who comes to our aid in times of need and trouble. Agathiyar pointed out to me in my first Nadi reading in 2002, that none of my Yoga practice and puja saw results till I came to the Siddhas. My past karma stood in my way of gaining and reaping the benefits. The Siddhas helped me overcome my karma and obstacles. If I practiced Yoga by reading books in the past, the Siddhas through Nadi readings taught me the practices that they themselves had carried out and saw the results. They sent Tavayogi to show more asanas and pranayama techniques. Tavayogi showed me rituals carried out by the Siddhas too. That is the compassion of the guru who comes to show us the way. Though they showed me the way and the methods they also gave me full freedom to modify and change accordingly to the need of the moment. They gave us much leeway too. They gave us the freedom to explore.
Just as Ramalinga Adigal told us it is a long journey, Dr.C.Srinivasan in his book AN INTRODUCTION TO THE PHILOSOPHY OF RAMALINGA SWAMI, mentions that "Ramalinga Adigal has tasted the bliss of all the sixteen stages contemplated by the Vedas by the permutation and combination of the four paths such as Devotion, Action, Meditation, and Wisdom one after another and attained higher and truer perfection with the aid of the Supreme Grace, besides the ultimate goal of all the six heavenly avenues Suddha Siddhanatham, Suddha Vedantham, Suddha Nadantham, Suddha Kalantham and Suddha Bhodantham leading to Divinity. He has further given an exposition of his admittance into Sanmargam by the bounteous and boundless descent of the auspicious Supreme Being in him which has resulted in his immortality. It was perhaps miraculously easy for the Swami to be blessed with all these experiences." Ramalinga Adigal on charting out the many levels of the soul's journey and its spiritual experiences says that there are still higher stages that he hesitates to express.
| Various states of the soul. | The 16 stages and above of spiritual experiences. | Experiences (Nilai). | Stages. | Paths. |
| Human beings leading a mundane life without even a thought of its transient nature. | 1. Jeeva Sakiram. Normal wakefulness. | 1st stage. | ||
| 2. Jeeva Sorpanam. Normal dreaming. | 2nd stage. | |||
| 3. Jeeva Suluthi. Normal ignorance. | 3rd stage. | |||
| Spiritualist aware of momentary nature of life; conscious of the world and external objects; enjoys gross things. | 4. Sutha Sakiram. Perfect wakefulness. 1st state of the soul. | 1st stage. | Sariyai. | |
| Seeking to see the Lord and feels inseparable; untiring search for God; enjoys subtle things. | 5. Sutha Sorpanam. Perfect dream. 2nd state of the soul. | 2nd stage. | Kriyai. | |
| Only God; neither dreams nor desires; soul temporarily one with Brahman enjoys bliss. | 6. Sudha Suluthi. Perfect ignorance or sound sleep or dreamless state. 3rd state of the soul. | 3rd stage. | Yogam. | |
| Lust & veil covering the soul for generations are shed one after the other; soul cleanse by Arutperunjhoti; spontaneous impulse of love for God; absolute union with Brahman. | 7. Sudha Turiyam. Perfect experience. Supra-mental awareness. 4th stage of the soul. | Supreme grace. Arul Oliyal. | 4th stage. | Shiva Jnana Nilai. |
| 8. Para Sakiram. Higher wakefulness. | ||||
| Enjoys grace of Lord and ecstasy. | 9. Para Sorpanam. Higher dream. Supra mental dream. | |||
| Shackles removed by Arutperunjhoti; heavenly experiences. Above this stage, God is un-manifested. | 10. Para Suluthi. Higher ignorance. Supra mental unknowing. | 1st stage. | 1st divine path. Sithantham. Sutha Sithantham. | |
| Tasting God; the glory of Arutperunjhoti; self-realization on the soul as an atom brilliant as the sun; soul charged with divine grace; aspirant realizes the greatness of God's grace and his smallness; self-realization or Atma Tarisanam. | 11. Para Turiyam. Atma Tarisanam. Supra-mental perfection. | Ananda Nilai. | 2nd stage. | 2nd divine path. Vethantham. Sutha Vethantham. |
| Perceive God in the form of light; the soul is saturated with compassion & love; experience of divine life (Uyir Anubhavam); attains purified body or golden body (Sutha Degam); the extent of achievement is dependent on the grace of Arutperunjhoti; sees divinity in all creatures; sees God in the form the aspirant is ready to receive; enjoys supreme grace (Arul Anubhavam); higher stages are heavenly stages and beyond human perception where the mind fails to conceive and all senses cease to function; Uyir Anubavam in Sudha Degam; a transformation to the pure body; love incarnate; the universality of love in all fellow beings; oneness in life; sees the divine in all life forms; sees smallness of one and greatness of God; spontaneous flow of God in him. | 12. Guru Sakiram or Shiva Sakiram. | 3rd stage. | 3rd divine path. Sutha Nathantham. | |
| Descent of divinity in the individual. | 13. Guru Sorpanam or Shiva Sorpanam. Supreme dream. | 4th stage. | 4th divine path. Sutha Kalantham. | |
| Supreme grace flows and prepares the aspirant for the next stage. | 14. Guru Suluthi or Shiva Suzhuthi. Supreme tranquility. | 5th stage. | 5th divine path. Sutha Bothantham. | |
| The body transforms into Pranava Deham or body of grace; merges with Arutperunjhoti; deathlessness or conquest of death. Ramalinga Adigal mentions Muthuthandavar & Tathuvarayar as had attained this state. | 15. Guru Turiyam or ShivaTuriyam. | Anandha Nilai. Periya Shiva Anubhavam. | 6th stage. | 6th divine path. Samarasa Sutha Sanmaarga. |
| There are still higher stages that Ramalinga Adigal hesitates to express. | 16. Sudha Shiva Sakiram. Absolute supreme consciousness. | |||
| Sudha Shiva Sorpanam. | ||||
| Sudha Shiva Suluthi. | ||||
| Sudha Shiva Turiyam. | ||||
| Sudha Shiva Turiyateetam. |
(Source: AN INTRODUCTION TO THE PHILOSOPHY OF RAMALINGA SWAMI by Dr C Srinivasan, published by Ilakkia Nilayam, Tiruchi, 1968 (Srinivasan).
I understand fully when Ramalinga Adigal says the journey is long. I look through the above table to see where I stand. I tell myself that I am way down at the 4th state of experience Sutha Sakiram. When we cannot figure out and envision the many stages he has described before hitting that point that cannot be described, if we are struggling and attempting to conceive the inconceivable of these stages, how can we understand these higher levels.
When Tavayogi repeats the same thing over and over again in all his sermons, he tells me that we are not listening, hence the need to keep repeating. When Agathiyar tells us that we have been taking numerous births, again and again, listing out some of this to us, he is telling us subtly that we did not listen before.