Finally, we are getting somewhere. We are getting some answers. We are seeing the true picture. When I scouted around for information, especially on how to worship the Siddhas after Agathiyar called me to do so in my first Nadi reading in 2002, I knocked on several doors of existing establishments carrying the name of Agathiyar. None seemed to be in it. Some were solely focused on collecting funds and carrying out charity programs while others had moved on to the worship of Arutperunjothi and Ramalinga Adigal's teachings. Several centers were practically lifeless. I could not but notice that each went their way too. I wondered why could not they all come together under an umbrella body rather than be scattered. Failing to find a proper place to dock I began to take things into my own hands and started on my home puja to the Siddhas with whatever little material I had. For instance, I had an idea what the worship was about after Sentilkumar who read my Nadi conducted a thanksgiving puja as Agathiyar had directed by reciting the names of a list of Siddhas. While he had passed me the booklet containing these names after the puja, Sivabalan who housed the readers gave me a painting of Agathiyar. And so my journey started.
In 2005 Tavayogi is shown to me by Agathiyar. I leave for India again a month after he leaves for his Kallar Ashram. He brings me to the jungles and caves telling me before we leave that "Only now the true journey begins, my son" Indeed if I had toured India as a tourist and pilgrim in 2003, carrying out the remedies listed by Agathiyar in my Nadi reading, this time around I was rushing to keep up with him as we tracked through the jungles and climbed the hills. And so a true journey began.
In asking me to carry out the Homam Tavayogi set me to carry out rituals in my home with my family. From mere recitations of the names of the Siddhas now we had a ritual that accompanied the recitation. In teaching us the Asanas and Pranayama techniques in 2007, Tavayogi officially introduced me to Yoga that I had picked up from books many years back. In coming into my home as a bronze statue Agathiyar introduced me to the ritual of carrying out libation or abhisegam to his statue in 2010. In bringing some thirty youngsters to my home after their Nadi readings or in following another in 2013, my home took on the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) for easy reference. Agathiyar initiated us into doing charity that Tavayogi had me witness at his ashram in 2005.
In asking us to bring the shutters down at AVM at the peak of its numerous activities in 2019, Agathiyar had us go within coinciding with the lockdowns that came into effect as a result of the pandemic. The few who were loyal to his cause kept coming back to AVM. Agathiyar in return turned up at their homes where they hosted and carried out the rituals just as we did at AVM. These few homes became AVM too.
Finally, in asking that I move him to another devotee's home some weeks back, he brought an end to worship of him in form and name. He stands as the Prapanjam before us now.
Agathiyar who asks that I worship him in my Nadi reading in 2002, came as my Moola guru taking on a form and this name. When Dr. Krishnan prepared a yantra or an etching on a copper foil to be worshipped with his Moola mantra, Agathiyar took on an abstract form or geometrical pattern. When Tavayogi initiated me into his mantra in 2005, Agathiyar took on the bija mantra. Arriving at his ashram, he shares that Agathiyar was in the form of light or jothi that thrives in us as a tiny spark. Leaving his ashram for Malaysia he initiates me into Vaasi or has me regard Agathiyar as the breath in us. When Tavayogi initiated me officially into Yoga in 2007, Agathiyar came within as the Prana. In having us carry out the fire ritual or Homam, he came as the elements or tatwas. In coming as the bronze statue in 2010 Agathiyar came alive in gross materials too. He opened his eyes. In having us carry out charity in 2013, we saw Agathiyar in the eyes of the poor and unfortunate. In having us go within in 2019, he came as a companion and friend who kept us company in those dark times. In carrying out further yogic practices under his guidance he came as the energy and awakened the dormant energies residing in us. In having us watch these energies in play he connected us to the Prapanjam, the final frontier beyond forms and names, identity and rituals, shapes and sizes, language and race, that went beyond sex, time, space, and definition.
What we know of him now is just his presence that is felt and known, the bliss and tears of joy that accompanies his presence, the sense of fullness and satisfaction, fulfillment and contentment, and the urge to share these with others. No more talk about Puranas and Itihasas, no more rituals, no more adherence to practices, and no more adherence to religious and spiritual laws. Just as Tavayogi said that the soul has to be free and can never be caged, the soul has been freed.