After leaving my daughters at the MRT station where they took the Mass Rapid Transport into the city to host their company event at the Mega Career and Study Fair over the weekend, my granddaughters and I stopped over at the public park nearby where they wanted to watch the tortoises and fishes in the pond that attracted the migrating storks. Upon arriving, we were greeted by two crows sitting on a low tree branch. When my granddaughters asked them to tell a story, they let out loud caws. When they asked them where they were from and where they were headed, they kept cawing. So it looks like our elders lied when they told us the story of “The Fox and The Crow”, of how the crow opened its beaks to sing.
"Once upon a time, in a jungle, lived a crow. One day he was searching for food when he suddenly saw a piece of cheese on the nearby table. The crow grabbed it in his beak and flew to a faraway tree, as he did not want to share it with anyone else. A fox was passing by as he was sitting on a branch with the cheese in his beak. He saw the crow and thought of getting the cheese for himself. He immediately started flattering the crow. He started saying how beautiful the crow and his wings were. The fox also said that he had heard that crows are excellent singers, and if he sang for him, he would declare him to be the most beautiful voice in the entire jungle. Flattered by the fox’s words, the crow opened his beak to sing and ended up dropping the cheese on the ground. The fox quickly picked up the cheese, laughed at the crow, and left. The crow sat there, realizing how foolish he had been." (Source: https://www.firstcry.com)
The moral of the story though is that we all fall for flattery. It gives us a feel-good feeling. When it gets to our heads, we lose our ground. All the hype and attention too brings us to bite the dust. We have to have our heads clear at all times.
From the park, we headed for a mall close by to buy my three-year-old granddaughter a new pair of shoes. They grow out of it at a pretty fast pace. As they were hungry we had a kids meal at a fast food restaurant. As we left for the car an old Malay lady passed us to return the trolley. I gave her a smile. Just as we all got into the car she came running towards us. She took two ten Ringgit notes and with my permission gave them to my granddaughters. She spoke fluent English telling me it was rare to see one smile these days. Indeed people have forgotten to smile. Walking at the park we observe many observe us from far but the moment we cross paths they turn the other side as if we would ask them to borrow some money.
People have become bitter. We do see road bullies abusing other road users. People have forgotten courtesy and forgotten to give way to others. If only we could put ourselves in the other's shoes we would begin to respect others and their needs. We don't need to infringe on their space or privacy but a simple smile could do wonders, a hello would go a long way, or giving way for others would be a kind gesture that could come back to us in other forms.
Some time back a man my age fell with a thud and a cry just after he had passed me at the park. I turned to help him. He sat up groaning in pain. He was inspecting himself for injuries. I waited for him to get composed. Only then did I ask him if he was alright. He seemed fine as he could stand up and walk. I asked if I had to inform anyone but he replied he had friends somewhere in the park. We departed. Just then I saw a small group of people and their Sifu peep over the hedge. They were there practicing some sort of exercise. I was saddened that it did not occur to them, or at least the master, to walk up and enquire about the state of the fallen man.
In the opening scene of the movie "Unnal Mudiyum Thambi" a young lad murmurs within him the song Kandhar Sasti Kavasam as he passes by a blind lady trying to retrieve the banana that she had dropped. Watching this from afar a man approaches him and asks the boy what hymn was he chanting to himself and asked him why did it not occur to him to pick up the fruit and place it into the hands of the old lady. Of what good is devotion if we tend to close an eye on others' sufferings? To make matters worse, these days rather than save a life we reach for our smartphones and start recording and posting others' pain and suffering on social media.
I wasn't an attention seeker since my young days. I did not have any ambitions or plans. I was neither a doer nor a follower but chose to keep to myself most of the time. Not only that, but I shied from the limelight. Furthermore, I preferred to work behind the stage. Likewise, I wasn't an activist or an orator. But somehow I seemed to be pushed to the front, coming under the stage lights. My schoolmates pushed me to start a cultural society in secondary school and had me take my place as President. So I ask myself who arranged for this post? Many years later, I was voted in as the head of the Parent Teachers Association in the school my daughter studied. So who arranged for this post too? Gaining entry into a college, I was awarded a scholarship that I thought had slipped off my hands. So who arranged for this scholarship? After accepting my first job, I had another tail behind me shortly. I chose to stick around with the first. I did actually stay and completed my 36-year career here. So who arranged for this job? Looking for a life partner, as many as fifteen Eves rejected my proposal for an arranged marriage. Someone I and my family knew long before eventually became my wife. So who arranged for this marriage then? I had no intention to buy a house back then in the nineties but the timely mention of a friend's intention and invitation extended to me to join him in purchasing one practically laid this home in my lap. So who arranged for this home that was to become AVM 22 years later?
I realized that if circumstances do not force one to either avoid or leave the path, one is purposely forced to take a break by the divine on this journey. As much reading of religious and spiritual books and discussions only brought more confusion during my bachelor days, I was told to take a break lest I turn cuckoo. Who arranged for me to take a break from worship that stretched for some 14 years? When a devotee asked me a couple of days ago how I spent the 14 years when I was asked to step out of it, I replied that I raised a family. He, too, was told to raise his family first. He could jump onto the bandwagon again when his wife gives the green light later.
Coming to read the Nadi, Agathiyar had asked that I build him a temple. I was excited back then. But the excitement died down when temple committees turned down my request for a little, small space in their temple grounds. Then Agathiyar in a later reading tells me that I had desired it and shows me to Mr.Arumugam, who was building a Brindavan for saint Raghavendra. He also spoke to him in his Nadi reading asking for his consent that he gave readily. Agathiyar turned to me and gave me further instructions regarding his statue and told me he shall stay in my home until the Brindavan was completed. But Agathiyar switched his mind and decided to stay put instead when news of the completion of the building reached our ears. Seeing my first attempt to follow up on his request in the Nadi fail, he came into my home as a statue and turned it into a temple instead. Then Lord Murugan joined the bandwagon asking me in the Nadi to build a temple for him. He sends Agathiyar later to persuade me. I guess I must have stood the test of time, for eventually, he told me that he had tested me. Today after 13 years Agathiyar has moved to another devotee's home. So who arranged for this sudden move?
All the puja and charity that he had us carry out came to a standstill just as the pandemic encroached on many nations and forced lockdowns brought cities to a standstill. Instead, he had us go within and still the body and mind. So who arranged for this journey within? When I thought the 2 1/2 years during the pandemic phase had been unproductive, a devotee told me to look at it from a different perspective. He made me realize that I had dropped much during this forced period of solitude. Agathiyar had me dissolve the AVM family to have them find their own way, telling me to make the lone journey as the path could now only accommodate one at a time. Furthermore, he reminded me that my journey would be delayed if I was to wait for them to catch up with me. This reminded me of my travels with Tavayogi to the Siddha abodes and caves in the jungles. Never once did he turn around to check on me and see if I was keeping pace with him. So who arranged for me to withdraw from having a movement and a following?
I guess I must have stood the test of time, for now, he has me do nothing, pointing me to my mentor and guru and asking me if either Tavayogi did anything. While whiling away my time, I turn to good movies and music and write this blog, something that he has asked me to do.
Recently in telling me that I cannot possibly sit doing nothing he sends new faces to my home and asks that I take them as my students, elevating me to the post of a guru. He says that I had desired the post which makes me wonder "When did I ask for it?" So who arranged for this post? What is the end game here?
Tavayogi very aptly wrote the following when I asked him to autograph his book, "Andamum Pindamum", "Aandavan Uraigindra Edam Thangal Ullam, Athuve Payanathin Thodakkamum, Mudivum" when translated meant, "God lives in your heart, from where the journey starts and ends too."
Looking back at this journey, the following koan comes to mind.
“Before one studies Zen, mountains are mountains and waters are waters; after a first glimpse into the truth of Zen, mountains are no longer mountains and waters are no longer waters; after enlightenment, mountains are once again mountains and waters once again waters.”
Swami Sivananda of Rishikesh used to worship the Ganges river, showing the flame and Aarati every evening. Swami Vishnudevananda writes on his first encounter with his master Swami Sivananda, in ‘My Years with the Master’ at http://www.sivanandaonline.org.
"Before leaving, I went down the Ganga where it was the custom of the Ashram to do Aarati (waving of lights) every evening. All the devotees and inmates of the Ashram assembled by the banks of the Ganga to watch Master perform this evening's worship. I was skeptical. I was of a scientific temperament and knew that a river is only water, H2O-imagine worshiping H20!! But as I stood there and watched Master waving the lights, I saw the river become a mass of flowing lights. At that instant, the river assumed a divine flow, a manifestation of the Grace of the Lord. Master turned and looked at me, and in my mind, I heard his message, “God pervades everything; this too is His Special Form.” This entirely changed my outlook on life."
When Tavayogi expressed his surprise that Agathiyar had come easily to us while he had to travel far and wide to know him, I still did not realize the existence and presence of the hidden hand. Only much later did I understand. For instance, the many remedies that Agathiyar gave in my Nadi erased some of my past karma. The blessing of Supramania Swami came my way and cleared the path further for me to start my spiritual journey. It was his 40 years tavam or years of austerities that he just gave away to me without a second thought that as in the game of Snake and Ladder lifted me up the ladder to a higher standing without much effort. I am indebted to him for life. When I came to him in 2003 seeking to have my second daughter's horoscope charted, least did I expect that he shall be my guru. I knew nothing of him then but accepted him blindly after he revealed my life and future instead of my daughter's during our first meeting. Later in 2005, I managed to learn more about him from his wife and son with him chipping in. After many years his daughter who had compiled about him sends me her writings. These revealed more about the person who made me eligible to receive God's grace. Agathiyar had me meet Supramania Swami first before I met Tavayogi in 2005 all for a reason. Even Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar backed off giving his blessings as I stood before him days before I was to meet Supramania Swami.
The unseen hand has been working wonders in my life without any publicity, or looking for returns. Of what good is our devotion if we are blind to realize and acknowledge the existence of our gurus and their contribution towards our unfolding and eventual enlightenment?