I have seen a small group sit and meditate among the blasting of the songs that accompany the aerobic class conducted by an inconsiderate group right beside at the park that drowns the meditative music played by the former group. I had told the latter to be a bit considerate but she argued back giving reasons and justifying her stand. I left it at that. Today I managed to pick up a chat with this small group and came to find out that they were following the Falun Dafa, also called Falun Gong. I had taken it up from the chief clerk at our office back then, who had a small group of colleagues practice it before we started work. I told them that I was amazed at seeing them sit amidst all the din and noise. They told me just what Agathiyar told me when I was called to go within and faced the din and noise from my neighbors. They told me that though it would be pretty easy to meditate in silence, this was the true challenge. Thinking that one senior citizen among them was the Sifu, I was surprised that there was only one Sifu, their leader and master Mr. Li Hongzhi. All the rest were students who gathered among themselves to practice what they learned. When I asked them to tell me more they very humbly turned me down telling me that it has to be heard from the master and they did not want to distort the facts. They referred me to their website, videos, and materials available online. I was truly amazed by the humbleness in these souls. I guess in this school, there is no question of the Ego arising and one dominating the others. They are all students of one grandmaster. As in our tradition, the skills and techniques are handed down to some and they are made gurus to teach others, Agathiyar who initially wanted me to take up the role of a teacher has shelved it for something else that does not need me to interact with the public, hence killing the Ego even before it emerges. Agathiyar had recently revealed that Tavayogi had gifted me his state of a guru or Guru Stanam just as my first guru Supramania Swami left behind the merits of his 40 years of Tavam or austerities. But Agathiyar had since then dropped the role of a guru that he intended for me, switching it for the state of a Siddha. I could not believe it asking myself if I was qualified and would fit the role or state. I guess we have been told, shown, and portrayed an image of a Siddha by others before us that we think we too need to fit into. It is not so, says Agathiyar. Asking Agathiyar what I should do further to attain this said state, he tells me to do nothing and emphasizes again and again that I have arrived. I am grateful to him. I am grateful to them for their confidence, belief, and faith in me though I have so many weaknesses to work on further.
When I began to rub on my fears of rain and water on my 4-year-old granddaughter days ago, asking her how were her parents going to fetch her from my house in this rain, she replied cleverly "Aren't they driving?" Even family, friends, and colleagues used to say "You are inside the car, right?" while others would brush it off saying "Ah, It is just water droplets. Not spears." This morning seeing the sky darken, as I hurried back from my morning walk in the park towards my car, I told a Malay lady who was making her way to the park that it was about to rain. She too brushed it aside saying it was only water. Agathiyar had directed Hanumathdasan Aiya, the famed Nadi reader of Chennai, and his friends to a particular temple and told him to open up the Nadi at a particular spot on the temple grounds. Just then raindrops fell and this group packed up and made a dash for cover. Agathiyar asked, "How can you be a Siddha if you are afraid of the rain?" Indeed Agathiyar is said to have carried out his Tavam or austerities on the seabed for some 12 years.
What is the basis for my fear of water? The horoscope tells me that I have a Kandam or Danger in water. True enough I had slipped and fallen into the water as I alighted a boat at the stroke of midnight after shopping on the mainland with others from our construction team for the island where we were putting up a school. What saved me was the two huge bags that acted as life jackets and kept me afloat after I took a dip initially. I was then a student at an engineering college doing my internship with the Public Works Department. But this fear goes back to the days of my ancestors in India. Looking back at the history of the Chettiars in whose community my father was born, a flood had forced the original residents of Kaveripattinam in the past to move inland until a king offered them land to pitch their homes and stay. That is present-day Karaikudi. Though they are inland now, it is interesting to note that even today the entrance to their homes has a wall built to keep the waters out in the event it rises. This practice was prevalent in Malaysia too. The one my parents rented had one too, though when it rains, water from the river next to our home would still flood our home. I guess the fear lives on. So there goes my chance at trying to reach this state. Sorry, Agathiyar. It looks like I do not qualify even in this first round. I have to come back and attempt again too, just as Tavayogi told me when I asked to see him become Jothi or light. Thanks anyway for the opportunity.