Agathiyar told me that we had known each other for crores of years. He remembers. I forgot. He came again in my life in this birth to bring me to his path and side again. He revealed this coming through a devotee some time back.
Tavayogi told me that he came to know about his soul and past life during meditations. He was living in the age of Agathiyar as a kid and received initiation into a divine mantra from Agathiyar. In his curiosity to test out the mantra, he turned a horse into ashes. He lost his eyesight that instant. Taking this birth at 25, he lost his eyesight and spent a year with other sightless souls in an Amman temple known to give sight to the blind in Methupalaiyam. After a year, frustration set in as he had not regained his eyesight. He was about to jump onto the railway tracks when Agathiyar came as a divine voice and stopped him, telling him to have faith in him. He regained his sight soon and went back to his cotton mill business in Tirupur and eventually left his family and business to become a mendicant when he reached the age of fifty.
Supramania Swami too lost his eyesight after the sap of the Kalli plant, a species of cactus, entered his eyes. Roaming blind in the streets of Chennai, a policeman admitted him to the government hospital. When all the doctors who saw him gave up, an American visiting doctor attended to him, bringing him sight. The cost of his operation was borne by the politician M. Karunanidhi, who was admitted to the same hospital back then.
Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar of Kallar Ashram, who is currently in Malaysia reading the Jeeva Nadi and attending other festivities upon the invitation of devotees, was around when Agathiyar made the Sivalinga from the sands of the riverbank of Kaveri and carried out rituals in what is now the Nattatreswaran temple in Erode. This was revealed in the Nadi of a devotee, Sri Krishna, many years back. Sri Krishna was the one who ferried her to the isle temple in a coracle or Parisal.
Yesterday, Agathiyar revealed the past life of a youth who had just turned 21. He was one of the many disciples of Adi Sankaracharya. It made us tear up to know this. We were blessed to be in the presence of such a soul in these present times. It brings us joy to know that he is destined to bring the Siddha path to newer heights in this birth.
Agathiyar himself was a householder once, back then, when Lord Muruga, who walked the face of the earth as Supramaniar, came by looking for a spot to settle and meditate. Agathiyar offered to pitch a hut beside his home and care for his little needs. Upon attaining the state of Light, Supramaniar wanted to return the favor to the householder, but as the latter was beyond his sixties, Supramaniar promised to meet him in another birth and confer on him his gift and treasures. Just as he had promised, he met up with Agathiyar, who was in search of a guru. He took him in and taught him, and Agathiyar took on the name that has come to stay, attaining the state of Light just like his guru.
We tend to recognize others through looks if our memory does not fail us. Though the soul does recognize another, we are not aware of it as we are ignorant of the soul in us and others. But the Siddha comes along to remind us of our past connection, either in a physical form or the Nadi. It is exciting to know this connection. I guess we can work together in a better manner if we know the past connection. Several others and I in the AVM family were asked to visit one of the places popularized by Adi Shankaracharya, Sringagiri. We had either failed in the past and came again to reprise our roles or had a purpose to accomplish this time around. Only time will tell. Now we come to know another lad who was a disciple of Adi Shankara. We are blessed to have a soul among us who was a disciple of Adi Sankaracharya in a past birth. He was asked by Agathiyar to bring the Siddha path to greater heights.
How do I look? I would not know unless I look into a mirror, or into water, or someone tells me. Is this the look that represents me? If yes, Shanmugam Avadaiyappa looks this way, what about my appearance some twenty years back and another twenty years earlier? Who was the kid or youth who responded to this name back then? Traveling even further back, who was the child and the toddler then who responded to the name Shanmugam? Crossing time and space now, what did he look like in his known past two lives as a Namboothiri priest in Kerala and a fruit peddler in Papanasam, respectively? We have frozen images from the timeline of life, and remember them to this day. Similarly, we have frozen the Gods and Goddesses in the Puranas and worship these images to this day. Sadly, what we currently tend to do after coming to a guru is to place a photo of him and worship him forever, too. Agathiyar had requested that one should not carry out rituals for the famed Nadi reader in Chennai after his demise many years back, for that would deter his Tavam or austerity that he was into in Pothigai even after his death. One should even forget his face, he asked. Sadly, no one listened. Rituals were done, and there is a bust of him worshipped at present. This was shared with me by his companion of many years.
Tavayogi, at the onset, broke my hold and attachment even before it could take hold of me, telling me that I was living in a world of Maya, thinking that he had something hidden beneath his robes. Instead, he told me to hold on to Agathiyar, and I did as told. In not wanting to be a middleman or a bridge, Tavayogi instead taught us to draw the bridge down between both worlds through the rituals. Agathiyar, who came as a painting and later a statue, in having us attend the inauguration of the new Kallar Ashram in 2016, showed us that he was beyond form, coming as a lady in the many temples the AVM family members and I visited, again breaking our hold on form. In having me move him to the homes of other devotees, post-pandemic, again, he broke my hold on his form and image. He tells me that in the absence of his statue, Prapanjam shall fill my home. Later, he reveals himself as Prapanjam.
I am glad I did not build a temple for Agathiyar when he asked me to. Though I was pretty excited thinking that I was pretty special for being selected to build one for him, and ventured a few steps, I gave up when existing temple committees refused to provide the space to install his statue. I never budged after that, even after Lord Muruga asked for one and had Agathiyar coax me into doing it. Today I realize that if I had built his temple and installed his figurine, I would have to vouch that that is his form and image, when he has brought me to realize and see him as the very formless Prapanjam. Agathiyar too told me to forget him after having me let go of all my attachments to form and figure, name and tags. For how else shall we be one, he asked?
When he came around asking what each of us wanted some time back, and when he turned to me with the same questions, I had no wants. Since he waited for a reply, I told him I would like to take many more births serving him. He asked me if that was what I wanted, making me realize this was not what one should ask for. Once a follower and forever a follower. But that is not what the guru intended. He wants us to fit into his shoes and roles and become a guru too, a light that shines upon others. Offering me the role of a guru recently, Agathiyar immediately retracted the offer, telling me that he would not make me a guru but one of his kind. He has accepted me back into his fold and his arms. What else shall one want? I am deeply grateful to him and my gurus.