Bala Chandran and Suren Selvaratnam journeyed to India, seeking to know more about the Siddhas, through Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of the Sri Agathiyar Sri Thava Murugar Gnana Peedham in Kallar. Both youths came back satisfied. Today they continue to carry out all that was directed by Agathiyar, as stipulated in the Nadi and advised by Tavayogi.
I met Mataji the very first time when Tavayogi asked her to come by to his ashram on the eve of my departure back to Malaysia in 2005. She was known then as Sarojini before she took up monkhood or turavaram.
I had spent some time with Supramania Swami at Thiruvannamalai, made a pilgrimage of a different sort to caves and samadhis led by Tavayogi, and was set to leave Kallar for another stop at Supramania Swami's kudil at Thiruvannamalai before taking the flight back from Chennai.
After Mataji arrived and we were formally introduced, Tavayogi and Mataji recalled and shared the wonderful moments that they had had while participating, hosting and chairing Pattimandrams all around India.
Then Tavayogi had Mataji bring out some of the Nadis in their possession and read out to me. When Tavayogi realized Mataji was carried away to revealed more than required Tavayogi hushed her up, saying that was enough. But we stole some moments together in the adjacent cabin, where I asked her to reveal more about Tavayogi, which she complied until, Tavayogi called her out!
On the day of my departure, she woke up early and was already groping in the dark preparing hot water for my brother and me to bath, and also preparing that morning's breakfast. I am grateful to her to this day for caring for us as a mother does.
Then Tavayogi asked her to prepare certain items, for Teecha, and she returned in a jiffy with them. No questions asked. I was blessed to receive another Teecha from Tavayogi that morning. If the first Teecha was one given to initiate me into the path, this was to bring further enhancement in oneself. The first Teecha he had announced, moments after I met him in Malaysia, he would give later in the evening and asked Perumal to make the necessary arrangements. Perumal informed him that he would include me among several others scheduled to receive the Teecha. That evening Tavayogi decided to give Teecha to my wife too.
Just before he left for India, Agathiyar through the Nadi reading instructed me to get Teecha again from him, that puzzled both Tavayogi and me. This time it was given in the confines of a room just the two of us.
Subsequently Mataji became a monk and moved into Kallar Ashram to serve Agathiyar, the Siddhas and Tavayogi. Agathiyar had promised Mataji that she will be placed in a place of exaltation merely by serving and looking after the needs of Tavayogi and the ashram respectively, which she has sincerely carried out to this day with total dedication. I am indebted to her and grateful to her.
Later when Tavayogi came over to Malaysia, he brought Mataji along. She used to arrange, coordinate and manage all the programs efficiently. Then she traveled to Malaysia alone, with the blessings of Tavayogi, to continue her Guru's mission.
I used to mention to Tavayogi that he can safely leave behind all his responsibilities to Mataji and rests assured that she will continue his work and manage his ashram well.
Mataji, a dynamic lady, knowledgeable, humble to the core, has now emerged to the status of a Guru herself. I am proud to have known her and be associated with a wonderful soul.
I had spent sufficient time with Tavayogi and the people who came to him, to enable me to observe, listen and realize what the general public seeked. When Tavayogi arrived in Malaysia in 2005, I went over to his 'lodge' almost everyday he was in town, just to be with him. He seldom spoke. Occasionally I asked him a question or two, but otherwise I did not have any questions. I used to sit and watch all those who came to him. That is when I deduced the mind and the wants of these people.
Some were already aware of the Siddhas while many like me were only beginning to know about them. Many came out of curiosity to see for themselves what was happening. Some just accompanied others.
I realized from observing them, that many came quite well equipped with knowledge, that they had either read elsewhere or had known in the presence of other gurus. They then put a question to Tavayogi, its answer pretty well known to them. When Tavayogi replies, they start comparing notes with their earlier source (either books or former gurus). Then they start mentioning the other source and question why Tavayogi contradicts them. This single question will then be pulled and stretched for hours on end.
Some among them have a fixed notion or opinion about things but yet put the question to Tavayogi, hoping to hear him agree or endorse their thought. If its disagreeable they move on to another guru, seeking a guru who fits into the 'form' they have in mind.
Some came empty and waited for Tavayogi to 'fill them up'. I was one of them, waiting for him to speak, say something that would enlighten me. Even during the last visit to Kallar, my family and I did not have any questions. The only wish my wife had was to ask Tavayogi to conduct a prayer at the ashram where we could participate. Tavayogi, to our surprise asked us to sing the hymns and honored us by doing so.
I took someone I knew to see Tavayogi in Malaysia, hoping that by meeting Tavayogi and listening to him (Tavayogi), he might see a way out of his problems and sufferings. But to our disappointment the man kept churning out his problems continuously, without giving a moment for Tavayogi to speak. During the hour long meeting, Tavayogi only managed to speak three lines. If only the man had stopped to listen he would had got the message. Tavayogi said that all the suffering and hardship the man was going through was because of his past doings and karma (Mun Jenma Vinai). Tavayogi had identified the problem and now gave him a solution. The solution was, "Prayers are the means to overcome your karma" (Potrinaal Unathu Vinai Agalum Appa). If only the man had heeded the advise and had asked to whom he should surrender, Tavayogi would had showed him the way. The way to remove all obstacles was by means of prayers to Siddhas (Siddhargalai Potrungal). But sad to say the man was so engrossed in telling his tale that he refused to 'listen.'
Later I deduced to myself that one should come 'empty' to a guru and wait to be 'filled', very obvious that a vessel has to be emptied first before it could be filled.
"How can you say that you have got everything and do not want anything more when you are holding an empty vessel in your hand? You might be saying this with your mouth, but there would always be the worry in your mind about how the pot could be filled, always looking from side to side with the expectation that somebody will come and fill it up.'
Even if we have emptied ourselves, the thought of how we will be filled still lingers. That is not total surrender. Looks like you should not even carry an empty vessel with you!
Neem Karoli Baba goes on to explain the notion or idea of contentment,
"Well, how can you call this contentment? When one sees that when the pot before him is full to the brim, it is emptied, and when it is empty, it is refilled of its own – that is contentment. If anyone wanted to give him anything, he would show that the pot was full already. What would he do with anything more? Even if he wanted to share it with others, where would he put it?"
"This is the real contentment and it comes only through the grace of God. When you have full faith in Him, full reliance on Him, when you can surrender everything to Him, then that grace comes to you by itself – you do not have to ask for it or make any effort. Such is the value of faith in God.”
(The above conversation with Neem Karoli Baba, in italic, is reproduced from http://www.ramdass.org/faith-in-god/. Siddha Heartbeat thanks the host of this site.)
Now as I recall all the moments I had had with Tavayogi, I realized that it was time well spent. Most of the time we were silent, until Tavayogi broke the silence to say a thing or two.
