I walked by a blind without a thought of my blessings in having eyesight.
I walked by a beggar without giving him a second look, without stopping to ask what he wanted.
I walked by an orphan without wondering about the dangers he would face alone in the city.
I walked by a cripple without the thought how is he going to feed himself.
I shut out their world from mine.
My world was comfy, with my needs taken care of. I did not miss a meal. I had all the comforts of life. I had a steady income. I had no need to look towards another for handouts. This was how I spent my forty odd years unperturbed by reality out there.
A major catastrophe was only another news to me. It did not affect me in any way. A loss in another family did not touch me. This was me before I came to the Siddha path. Agathiyar worked on my heart, entering my heart and enlarging it, mellowing it. Besides instilling devotion he instilled compassion too. Bringing great souls together he forged an understanding. My soul connected with them. They in turn touched my soul. The soul began to feel the hurt of others. The soul began to feel the pain of others. The soul began to feel the suffering of others.
He made us extend help to others. He made us relieve others pain. He made us address others issues. He made us live for others too. He brought these like minded souls together to sing his praise and do his asking, serving humanity and healing mother nature.
We are glad that we have a purpose in life now that goes beyond our self centered-ness.
This family of good souls is an asset. I was jumping around with my granddaughter breaking bubbles blown by my daughter when immediately I felt a discomfort in my lower back. The pain rose later in the evening when I was driving my daughter to her college. Three days later as I was crossing the street in the midst of purchasing prayer items for my Thursday puja, I sneezed. An excruciating pain shot through my lower back, groin, buttocks and down my right leg as if the lightning had struck in the skies and showered and discharged to the ground. I was grounded and paralyzed for a moment there, smack right in the middle of the road while holding on to my purchases in both my arms. I headed straight home, driving in pain, ignoring the other purchases yet to be done.
It has been two weeks now and I am recovering slowly. I am glad though that I did not succumb to this pain during the lighting of the lamps fest recently. My mobility was limited by the pain, something that took me by surprise the first time in 2011 and again in 2016 and came again as just a mild pain a few months ago. The very first time I was overpowered by the pain was when I coughed out sputum.
I had to request Balamurugan Aiya to come over and have a look. He came with his full set of kit ready to work on my varma points and giving me a good massage. He came again and brought some more relieve. I am blessed to have him and Master Arunan and Master Uva who had treated me previously. The AVM family has Dr Janar who makes himself available anytime of the day to answer our queries on health and medicine. I had Yuvarani to advise me on the medication too. Today I could drive again and made my way to the local pharmacy.
If I was a gnani I could take on the pain submitting and accepting karma and holding on to the concept of non interference, lay in bed letting nature heal itself. But I have my family dependent on me, and have chores to do, hence I need to be on my feet fast. I have no option but to pop a couple of pain killers and go about my routine. I need to recover fast. This is where the gnani and I part.
With Agathiyar's grace I shall recover soon. Meanwhile my wife does not allow me to play with bubbles now and has asked me to go sit quietly in the corner.
When you come visit me next time around, find me sitting in a corner - staring into the skies. It would be a welcomed change.