MY GURUS

I am glad that the Nadi reader Senthilkumar of Avinashi passed me a pamphlet from Thaai Veedu Thangarasan M.A, seeking funds to build a temple cum ashram for Agathiyar at Kallar. This piece of paper was to bring me to Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal @ Thaai Veedu Thangarasan M.A a couple of years later. He was a man of few words until he took the stand. He then made his stand known to the crowd that gathered to hear him out. His only mantra was the name Agathiyar. And so he asked that I hold on to Agathiyar and not him on the very same day I invited him over to my house in 2005, after telling me that I was living in Maya, thinking he was a holy man who had something beneath his clothing. Though it hurt me back then, I realized later that he had shown me to the source, Agathiyar. Though I never tattooed his name on my body, though I never dressed like him, though I never took the stage, he has etched his name deep within me. So has Agathiyar. Both my gurus live in me. That is the reason why, when Agathiyar, who asked that I commission his statue in bronze and worship him in 2010, asked me to send him away to another devotee's home in 2024, I did not shed a tear nor object. That is the reason why Agathiyar, who began sending youths over to my home to watch and participate in our home puja beginning in 2013, had me bring the shutters down: I did not shed a tear nor object. That is the reason why, when Tavayogi told me from his hospital bed that in the event he does not return to his ashram...... I did not shed a tear. As Tavayogi had me drop or let go of all that I had desired, and  Agathiyar had me drop and let go of everything that he either initiated or tasked me to do, it came easily to me to drop another and another and another. But when Agathiyar told me that I had to even let him go, I told him, "How could I possibly do that?" He was my God, Guru, Savior, Guardian, Angel, Father, Mother, Companion, Friend, and everything to me. He was the very post that I was leaning on. He was the very tree under which I took shade. That is when he asked me, "How are we to be one?" I understood and accepted in silence and humility. He was bringing me from Dvaita to Advaita. He was bringing me to the One, Yegan, Sivam. I am grateful to my gurus. 

STEPPING INTO THE MYSTICAL & MYSTERIOUS

I shall celebrate my 67th birthday in a few days' time. Will I live to see another? Only Agathiyar can tell. 

Scrolling through some of my previous posts, I came across one dated Thursday, 12 September 2013, where Agathiyar mentions Lopama's origin. I had translated a Nadi reading in Tamil posted on Siththan Arul. Agathiyar in the Nadi says,

"Most people do not know and, in present times, have associated the much-mentioned Lobamudra with my wife. To this day, no one has asked who this Lobamudra is. When was she born? Where was she brought up?" 

He astonishes me.

"The river Thaamiraparani that I created is Lobamudra! Any river, for that matter, will have its source in a particular country, branch out, and it finally reaches the sea in another country. An exception to this rule, and a miracle, has taken place here. The river Thaamiraparani has its source in the hills, dressed in all its gaiety, flows through Nelveli @ Tirunelveli with joy, and finally discharges itself here. I am the one who created this river. Thus I have named this river as Lobamudra." 

Agathiyar surprises us by revealing that the Sidhas and Munis do not have wives! 

"Have you seen any Sidha with his wife?" Agathiyar puts this question to us.

"If it is true that the Sidhas do not have wives, then how is it that I have Lobamudra?" continues Agathiyar. Agathiyar is puzzled as to why no one had asked this question till now.

"But it is my duty to clarify things. This is the very spot on this bank where I created the river Thaamiraparani @ Lobamudra and kept her at my side. She is not my wife. I am living on the banks of Thaamiraparani. I roam the hills of Pothigai. And today, at this moment, I am present here."

"1800 years back, I started a garden paradise here and conducted abhisegam for my Lord. That day is today. On this day too, I created the river Thaamiraparani and named her Lobamudra, and since then kept her alongside me." 

Agathiyar then reveals his birth!

"I came forth from fire or Agni", reveals the Sidha! "I did not come to be from Shiva's eye nor forehead!" corrects the saint. He goes on to explain further.

"I came forth from the fire, from the Yagna or Yagam conducted by Lord Shiva!"

Writing on Agathiyar's origin at https://holysageagathiyar.com/, Vashisht Vaid says that he was the very "Vital Radiant Consciousness of Adi Ganesha in a Human Form" that  Adi Param Shiva desired.

Dr. Mandayam Kumar from the Siddha Medical Research Institute in Bangalore "gives a short narrative about Sage Agastya at the beginning of the Kali era, since when our present civilization has its origin. Sage Agastya is stated to have been born nearly 5000 years before the commencement of Kali Yuga, at a place in Gujarat, as the son of Bhargava and Indumathi, who followed the traditional Pasupatha cult which was widely prevalent at that time". (Source: http://www.tknsiddha.com/medicine/origin/)

In another article of his, SIDDHA AGASTHYA – FOREMOST OF THE SIDDHAS, Dr. Mandayam reveals the parental heritage of Agathiyar. Agathiyar was said to have been born about 4573 years prior to the commencement of Kali Yuga at a place in Gujarat, in the early hours of Tuesday, 14 February 7673 BC. Belonging to the early Aryan race, his father Bhargava was well-learned, while his mother Indumathi was from Punjab. They were both devotees of the Pasupatha order of Rishabha Muni. 

Wondering what could be his origin, Surendaran Selvaratnam agreed to ask Agathiyar himself for answers about his origin the next time he went for a Nadi reading. Agathiyar partially fulfilled our interest in knowing in 2017. 

Agathiyar, in his very first mortal birth, had the vision of Kailash at the very young age of 10. After the vision, he took up extreme tapas (tavam) including breath control. With the holy feet of the Sadguru forever in his thoughts, he reached a state of Nirmala at Kailash. Upon receiving theecha from Lord Kailai Esan, he was blessed to be born a Siddha. It was a mystical birth. Agathiyar adds that it was not necessary to dwell on the source and the details (Rishimulam Nadhimulam).

Speaking about Lobama, he says that he came to know that the Lord intended to get him engaged to the very representation of Mother Kaveri, and Kaberan's daughter, Lobamutrai. I was now confused. 

I came across another post written on Saturday, 30 September 2017. I had written back then that,

If before coming to this path I was reading about our agamas, customs, music, traditions, etc, I looked towards organizations linked to Agathiyar in Malaysia when I was asked to worship the Siddhas in my very first Nadi reading. Making no headway in this search, I began to seek the knowledge I wanted from books. Looking around for Siddha literature, I managed to lay my hands on many books that spoke about the origin of Siddhas and their lives. Then I came to a crossroads about whether to believe in what was written. The contents were unbelievable. It was not logical; neither was what was written reasonable. It was mythical and legendary in nature and beyond my logical thinking. Some of the stuff written was ridiculous, for there were so many instances of Agathiyar cursing others. Similarly, going through the Puranas, I saw curses being hurled by Gods just as arrows are shot at each other. The Rishis too were portrayed as short-tempered and fond of cursing others. I just could not bring myself to accept these stories. Deep inside me, I knew pretty well that they were the most compassionate. So how can they bring themselves to curse others? They are the Prapanjam: they are in us and we in them. I awaited Agathiyar to tell me that it is all a lie or to bring me to see these things in a new light or shed some light.

I understood the reason why Agathiyar asked us what use all this knowledge would be to us. And so we did not dwell on the origin of the Siddhas but instead took up what was given as practices to live a life that mirrored at least a tiny fraction of what the Siddhas did and lived for, and carried out the tasks given towards arriving at their state. What I did not anticipate was that he was willing to show me the Light instead. And so, in bringing us there, Agathiyar charted the path and had me share it with his devotees in 2024. He had the energies travel through the chakras first in 2022, giving me the experiences first. If this was that of the Kundalini traveling within, Agathiyar had brought me to sample these energies in the places I went as a pilgrim. 

My very first encounter with these energies was on day 2 of my maiden pilgrimage to India to carry out my remedies, or parikaram, given in my first Nadi reading. It happened at the Lord Nadaraja sannadhi, or chambers, at Egambareswarar Temple in Kanchipuram. Deva, my chauffeur, and Mahendran, my travel agent in India, dropped me at the Egambareswarar Temple. Deva did not accompany me into the temple, telling me that I did look like one of the locals and had blended in well and completely with the locals. This was another of the Pancha Stalam that I was directed to visit by Agathiyar in my Nadi. As the main sanctum was packed with people participating in a ‘private family puja’ and as the atmosphere was extremely noisy, I decided to pray elsewhere. As I came around the temple complex, I came across a huge chamber on my left. As I stopped at the entrance to the chamber to have a look, suddenly a young priest whom I had not seen until then rose from his seat and quickly ushered me into the chamber and led me inside. He walked briskly ahead of me. As I stepped inside this magnificent chamber, I felt I had stepped into another world and another plane; into another space and time. An entirely different atmosphere prevailed within the walls. Something I had never felt before overcame me. I could feel a strong vibration come over me. Was I being shown a small sample of the bliss that is often mentioned by the Yogis and Gurus, I wondered later? The young priest started chanting as he showed the sacred flame or arati. Lord Nadaraja looked down on me not in a menacing way, as one would have thought given his massive height, but with so much compassion and love. I stood in front of him at close proximity, amazed, astonished, and emotionally shaken up, with tears pouring down my cheeks. I could not contain the bliss any further. I broke into a loud cry. I stood there shedding tears of joy. I had my Lord all to myself at that moment. Everything else, including time, stood still! It was some time before I came out of that state. The priests who stood afar and only observed approached me with the prasad once I became composed. I thanked him and tucked some rupees into his hand and made my way out of that electrifying chamber of Lord Nadaraja. Further down the corridor, to my surprise, I was invited by an elderly couple to sit and watch with them a private prayer or puja and the bathing ritual or Abhisegam to Goddess Kaali. I stayed long enough to witness the evening Abhisegam performed on Lord Egambareswarar too. All these took place in a short time of an hour, from 6 pm to 7 pm.

The next experience took place on day 5 at Tiruvanaikaval, Trichy. The priest from Utamar Temple, which we had visited earlier, surprised me by volunteering to bring me to Tiruvanaikaval. He advised me on what to purchase on arrival at the grounds of the temple. It was 12 noon. The temple was already closed. I understood then why he had suggested and rushed us to Tiruvanaikaval first to carry out the parikaram and return to Utamar temple later in the evening. To my surprise, he used his contacts at the temple to open doors that were closed. With his "magic touch," or rather his good rapport, calling over the temple caretaker, he had the doors to Lord Vinayagar’s sannadhi opened for us. He had a priest conduct and show the arati. We then moved on to Lord Murugan's sannadhi, and the same took place. Then at the main sanctum, he called out to an elderly priest who was seated with the other priests, saying, "Mama, come. You should do the prayers!" The old priest led all of us into the inner chamber through a side door. He bent down in the dark chamber and told me to listen to the sound of water as he moved his hands. As he stood before me again with the prasad, I fell at his feet. As I picked myself up, I realized the rest- the priest from Utamar Temple, the temple caretaker, and Deva, my chauffeur too- had fallen at the priest’s feet too, following my gesture, and were picking themselves up too. We then made our way to Lord Dhaksanamurthi sannadhi as the priest from Utamar Temple insisted that the elderly priest should conduct the prayers. After the elderly priest left, I broke down at Lord Dhakshanamurthi’s sannadhi. I lay on the floor crying for no reason. But the irony is, except for the caretaker of the temple who tried to console me, nobody passing by stopped to enquire if I was alright. I heard the priest from Utamar Temple say, “Let Him Be, Let Him Cry.” After a while, I picked myself up, and we adjourned to feed the poor, a cow, and an elephant on the advice of the priest from Utamar Temple. I was literally pushed or shoved from one shrine to another by this wonderful group of people, who came to assist me. The elderly priest, the priest from Utamar Temple, the temple caretaker, and Deva made my day, as I performed each prayer to the utmost satisfaction. As we were on our way to send the priest whom we picked up at Utamar Temple back to his Temple, he insisted that we drop him off at a location he pointed to, telling us that he had errands to run. I handed him the first of three offerings, or Andhanarku Dhanam, as part of my parikaram. As we drove off, I chanced to look back to realize that we had dropped him off at a Hanuman temple! I did not see him again at Utamar Temple that evening when I was there performing the atonement. Who came in the guise of the priest and showed me around? Why did he get down at the Hanuman temple? Was it Hanuman? It would not be a surprise, as with the agility, speed, and velocity he demonstrated, practically shoving me from one shrine to another, it could only mean that it was Vaayu's son who came for us. 

It was day 7. We reached Palani at 8.50 am. Deva dropped me off at the entrance to the Tiru Avinankudi Temple. After a brief moment at Tiru Avinankudi Temple, as there was a wedding in progress, I purchased some items to bring over to Lord Murugan and started for the hill temple. Laying my feet on the first step, I just could not move my legs. They were extremely heavy, as if they had turned to stone. I had to force myself, using both my hands to lift my legs that had turned into a huge chunk of rock.  I pushed myself, determined to scale the hill, though my heart pumped hard; I was drenched in sweat, gasping for air, and my throat was parched and dry. I had to break the climb, stopping every few minutes to take a breather. But the irony is, nobody stopped to enquire if I was alright. Was I hidden from others' view? Eventually, on reaching the top of the flight of stairs, as I became dizzy, I had to sit somewhere! I made my way to the shops that I spotted in the distance, dropped myself and my purchases, leaning against the wall of one of the shops. As I sat there, I was sweating profusely. I was on the verge of fainting. As I remained in this position, I saw a brightness engulfing all around me. I could make out silhouettes of people walking by. I heard the muffled sound of their voices. Regaining my composure after some time, I stood up and made my way to queue up in line for the darshan of Lord Murugan. Once inside, a priest walked up to me and asked if it was for his abhisegam and practically snatched the goody bag I brought for Lord Murugan. I cannot recount what took place next. Next I knew, he was back and shoved the same bag into my hands. He told me that there was the sandalwood paste from Lord Murugan's abhisegam. I turned to follow the crowd ahead of me out of Lord Murugan's chamber. Believe me, I do not remember seeing Lord Murugan. Hardly had I taken a couple of steps along the dark corridor when I chanced upon a room on the right. On peering within, I saw four priests. I enquired if it was Bhogar’s Samadhi, and they nodded. One of the priests turned to show the flame of arati. Surprisingly, there was no one else in this chamber. I took a seat and closed my eyes. On opening my eyes, one of the four priests, a young man, reached for a tumbler on top of a closet in the room and handed it to me, saying it was Abhisegam milk. I drank the milk. I took leave, thanking him with a nod of the head. As I stepped out of Bhogar’s chamber, I was in a daze, drifting as if a boat or yacht would drift downwind. I did not sense my feet touching the ground as I came around and around the temple. My heart was filled to the brim with bliss. When the feeling left, I left the premises and found my way to the car at the foothill. It was 11 am.

These brief moments of connecting with the energies continued even after I returned to Malaysia, as Agathiyar told me in the Nadi that I shall not be spared even on my home ground. Agathiyar revealed what took place at Palani on 7 September 2003 in a Nadi reading, two years later, on 19 August 2005! 

I felt these energies later at the Sri Jaganatha Swamigal Sivalayam at Tapah, the Nattukottai Chettiar's Sri Thandayuthapani Temple in Penang, and the Sri Siva Subramaniam Temple at Kampong Kepayang in Ipoh.

As I stood with my family at the Sri Jaganatha Swamigal Sivalayam at Tapah, I was suddenly overcome with emotion and cried as I felt the grace of my Paramaguru. Surprisingly, a saffron-clad Swamiji and his disciples who were residing at the temple then did not notice what was taking place right under their noses. It is as if these moments are veiled from the sight of others. My family was always the sole witness. These incidents made me realize that it was all the Siddhas doing and I had nothing to do with it. They decide who sees what and when, and who does not. 

As I bid farewell to Tavayogi, after meeting him for the first time in Malaysia in 2005, and as it was customary to fall at the feet of gurus, I did just that. He moved back and told me never to do that again. Instead, he pointed me to a pair of wooden sandals, or Padhugai, that symbolized the Holy Feet of Agathiyar. Only when Tavayogi pointed me to the sandals did I come to see the sandals and the large painting of Agathiyar in the meditation room of the local affiliate Peedham in Batu Caves which he had come to officiate. It was just as I had no awareness of my surroundings in all the temples I visited in India. The moment I touched the wooden sandal, I broke into tears and began crying aloud for reasons I could not comprehend. 

I was lifted and thrown off my feet while visiting the inner caves of the cave temple in Sungai Siput, precisely at the place where it is said that Tavayogi's guru Chitramuthu Adigal had meditated, and at the very precise moment the temple priest pointed out the spot and began to narrate the story of Chitramuthu Adigal. See for yourself and tell me who, in his sound mind, would want to purposely fake a fall among boulders that could have split his skull? 

These energies were felt as I took up the practice of Asanas and Pranayama that Tavayogi showed me in 2007. I felt large volumes of Prana enter into my lungs and into every part of my body, and every cell vibrated by the massive flow of Prana. When I came to know that Prana was life, I came to appreciate the free flow of Prana that we had evidently enjoyed all these years without any effort on our part. I began to take time to notice it and pay attention to my breath. The Siddhas paid attention to it. While man is so occupied noticing what goes on around him, the Siddha is occupied only with noticing his breath. He shuts out everything else. That is Samadhi.

Over the years, as I did prayers and worshiped the Siddhas without fail, I began to feel certain sensations and began to perform certain actions involuntarily. If initially only my family was witness to these moments, with the coming of others to my home after Agathiyar sent them over to join our home puja, they too came to witness it. Though I could not comprehend them, I told my wife that if only I could share those brief moments of bliss with others by either a touch or in some way, I would be very happy. What I wished for was fulfilled many years later when the unimaginable started happening. The Siddhas came down. Agathiyar, in coming as the bronze statue in 2010, told me that my soul would be in the statue momentarily while he came within me. Lord Muruga brought the heavens down when I stepped aside, giving him access to my body in 2018. Each time the Siddhas came through a devotee or me, we would hold hands. Ramalinga Adigal, on many occasions, had us reach out to Arutperunjothi and Prapanjam by having us hold hands too. Soon I was asked to voluntarily give them access to do their work. 

When I was questioning the logic of these Puranas and Itihasas, these things began to take place in me that were beyond my understanding. I began to realize it then that logic does not hold water. I guess if I could accept these experiences in me, then I should take heart in all the numerous telltale stories that we have heard since we were young. Amidst the many unexplained phenomena and mysteries of life and its questions that cropped up often, I am still firmly anchored in the worship of the Siddhas, a path shown to me by Agathiyar in the Nadi. Although it would be nice and proper to know his origin and all related things about him, I could still go along and take this walk with him without knowing it, just as the verses கண்ணுக்குத் தெரியாமல் நின்றாலும் எனக்குக், குறை ஒன்றும் இல்லை மறைமூர்த்தி கண்ணா, that though you stay out of my sight, it does not matter, for I still have faith in you. 

Just as gravity was in existence before Sir Isaac Newton discovered it, and will be in existence till the last moments of this cosmos, and all the laws of nature were in existence and will be around, functioning perfectly well and in time; whether we choose to believe or not, these mysteries too are all there irrespective of our faith or belief. What is important is his message, which comes as a blessing and gift in times of our need.

TOUCHING THE HEART OF THE SIDDHAS

Agathiyar did not leave me guessing any further, for when he charted the path of light for others to know what to expect, I saw that I had already trod the path, every inch of it. Just as he said that whatever he gave me was what the Siddhas had done, so too, in giving others the path, he was asking me to share what I had done. What I did was just follow whatever they gave without question, and they showed me the results of this wonderful (ad)venture. 

I never imagined that I would take up the path of the Siddhas and travel with them this far. It is indeed an amazing journey laid out with miracles, and some moments of pain and suffering too, which were overshadowed by the immense joy and bliss that came along. It is all like a dream indeed. 

I cannot imagine that Agathiyar opened, activated, and raised the Kundalini in me without any dire consequences. The Muladhara opened shortly after I began the practice of Asanas and Pranayama that Agathiyar gifted me through Tavayogi in 2007. He then had the energy stall, stagnate, and pond for some 15 years to have me see through his many tasks of gathering the seekers together, whom he sent to my home beginning in 2013, which then took on the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), and bringing our home puja into the temples and carrying out charity, besides having me carry out my responsibilities, including carrying out my daughter's wedding in 2016. During this time, I had already retired, and he had me stop all the tasks and activities and had me stay in solitude except for having the family around me. Agathiyar, in 2022, came to release this energy that had stagnated at Svadishtana to make its home run, travelling its course and reaching the Sahasrara within a couple of days.

Siddhahood has been misunderstood, says Agathiyar. It is not about attire. It is not about leaving the family. It is about adopting the qualities of a Siddha in one's life that bring one to attain Siddhahood. They want their disciples to live the life of a Siddha, and by doing so the Siddhas attest that their disciples shall live like Sivam too.

Sadly, many come to the Siddha wanting something else. Tavayogi too had lamented that none asked for Gnanam. 

If one does move the heart of the Siddhas, then they shower us with gifts and treasures beyond whatever money can buy. Moved by the devotion of the disciples,

• The Siddhas shall perform miracles just for their disciples. Visions and miracles shall take place at the abodes, caves, and samadhis of Siddhas. The disciples shall witness miracles happen at their homes too.
• The Siddhas shall appear to their disciples.
• The Siddhas shall live in the disciples; The disciples shall become one with the Siddhas; God shall then live in their disciples. 
• The Siddhas shall show their disciples the path.
• The disciples shall become true friends and will be highly regarded by the Siddhas.
• The Siddhas shall love the disciples as much as their disciples love them.
• Once their disciples come to this path, others around them too shall follow suit. Family members and others shall benefit from their disciples' association with the Siddhas. The family and others too shall have the blessings of Siddhas.
• The Siddhas shall care for their disciples and their families. The Siddhas shall grace their disciples' homes.
• For those who follow their path, the Siddhas give assurance that their disciples' wishes shall come true. All the disciples' efforts will pay off. The disciples shall see much progress come their way. The disciples' aspirations shall be realized. The disciples' asking shall be granted.
• The Siddhas proudly declare that great saints shall live with their disciples. When the Siddhas are established in the homes of their disciples, then the disciples have no need to spend their lives at any ashram. Instead, the Siddhas shall visit the disciples' homes then.
• The Siddhas shall test the loyalty of their disciples occasionally, but they will never let down their disciples.
• The Siddhas shall watch and advise the disciples on prayers and meditation.
• The Siddhas shall provide the disciples with the knowledge to spell away ignorance.
• The Siddhas shall be present in the disciples' thoughts, words, and deeds.
• The Siddhas shall send their messengers to deliver their word to their disciples.
• The Siddhas shall be a lifelong companion to their disciples. Just as the parents take care of the child, the Siddhas shall take care of their disciples.
• The disciples shall receive the grace of the Siddhas immediately.
• The Siddhas promise their disciples that they shall be protected from harm's way.
• The disciples shall realize joy and bliss each day.
• The disciples shall attain a sweet voice, youth, and clarity of thought through prayers to Siddhas.
• Their disciples shall realize the reason for their birth.

I can vouch for all these. For this to take place, we too have to move an inch towards them.

• Let the disciples establish themselves firmly in the path of the Siddhas.
• Let them be faithful to this path.
• Let God’s name flow through the breath of these disciples.
• Let their thoughts be centered and revolve around the Siddhas day and night.
• Let them receive and follow the advice and guidance of Siddhas with devotion.
• Let them invite the Siddhas to their homes and make them a part of their family too.
• Let them call out to the Siddhas when confronted with danger (And they shall be protected)
• Let them admire the Siddhas and decorate them in the heart’s eye. (The Siddhas too shall decorate the disciples similarly)
• Let them research the reasons for taking birth.
• Let them spread the Siddha teachings.
• Let them never miss the worship of Siddhas at their homes.
• The Siddhas encourage their disciples to gain merits by visiting Gurus and places of worship. 
• The Siddhas ask that disciples fulfill their responsibilities and dues to their Guru wholeheartedly, without hesitation or error.
• The Siddhas remind their disciples to choose the right Guru who shall lead them further on.
• They remind their disciples to chant the name of their Guru daily.
• They add that if that is not possible, to allocate a day in the week for prayer for their Guru.
• They reveal that Gurus come around so that their disciples shall know the truth. The truth shall be revealed through their Guru. 
• They ask their disciples to be patient, for the time will come when this transmission takes place.

In the post on "Siththan Arul", posted on10 October 2013 by Velayudham Karthikeyan Aiya, one of the Jeeva Nadi Guru's friends mentioned to Agathiyar that he was currently doing Vaasi Yogam. Agathiyar replies that he was aware of it. He promised to reveal an alternative technique that would awaken the Kundalini. Agathiyar tells him that he knows when to reveal it and asks that he remain patient.  Agathiyar surprises him, saying, 

"You have a family, children, and responsibilities. You have to contribute towards the well-being of society too. If you start the practice now, it would lead to chaos, havoc, and danger, as you would not have any interest in those matters. Such a man shall become useless to society. The time will come. One day, in the wee hours of the morning on a Tuesday, I shall send a Guru to coach you on the techniques of awakening the Kundalini. He shall instruct you on Kundalini and leave. You shall not see him again. The Guru could even be me!"

So too, in current times, Agathiyar told Mahindren, who was moving fast and furious on the path, to hit the brakes, for he had a job that brings family and society together through networking, a family and kids to care for. Agathiyar assured him that he could continue the journey later. 

Continuing the story of the friends, Agathiyar, describing their past, says that, 

"He, together with his other friends, had served the Siddhas well and, as a result, received the Siddhas' blessings. Although they had to be born again because of past karma, nevertheless they carried the characteristics of a Siddha in them, in their very blood. That's the reason they have progressed well on the path of the Siddhas in this life. This was only possible because of their past good deeds and merits of a positive nature. Their karma has been dissolved, and they are heading towards becoming Siddhas themselves."

THE GUIDING LIGHT

When my wife and I saw our family doctor for her prolonged cough yesterday, he told us something soothing to the soul: he did not want to see her suffer further. He attended to her misery promptly. It was joyful to see the father and son, who is a doctor too, team up to treat her. I had always seen doctors and the nurses as next to God for their service to the sick and weak. So I saw this again this morning as I sat at the government clinic to have my regular blood test. I saw the dedication of the hospital staff in seeing hundreds each day, patiently addressing their queries and guiding them with tender love. Just as the public goes to them in their times of need, I understand why Agathiyar sent many to our home in their time of need too. For one who stayed away from company and crowds, I am pushed to admit and see people whom he sends over. Of course, I understand that Agathiyar has an agenda and was only using me and my home. Maybe this is what he meant when he said that he had a job and purpose for me as yet. But as usual, if I feared getting stuck on a task that would halt me in my tracks and keep me from completing what I truly came to achieve, as spelled out by Agathiyar, I know he will bring this to an end, as he did with all the other activities. 

When many speak about the achievements of their masters, gurus, and other spiritual leaders, of the miracles they did, of the moment of attaining Samadhi, etc, I too have listened with awe just like others. I too have spoken and written about some of the achievements of these masters. Then I wanted Tavayogi to become light. He very humbly told me he had missed the boat. Later I was expecting Jnana Jothiamma to attain the state, given that Agathiyar personally took her by the hand and was leading her. But as her body and her soul gave up, it never materialized. Sharing this with Balamurugan, he told me Why don't you achieve it. That really made sense. We have forever been living on others' glory. We are master storytellers. But when it comes to doing something another did, we back off. And so many take the stage and keep on churning the goodness and the miracles of spiritual men, and we keep going to listen. It ends there. When are we going to attempt it too? When Agathiyar asked me to share the inner transformations that went through me, saying others should know what it takes to stay on the path of becoming Light, I realized that maybe, just maybe, I was already there. When I look back at the very last Nadi reading I had, on 21.2.2026, Agathiyar summed up my life and my state of being- just as he had led Jnana Jothiamma back then - which he has led me to, and which I believe has brought my journey to an end for this birth. Agathiyar has practically covered my short journey in coming here. 

After the formalities and greetings to Lord Siva, Agathiyar begins to reveal my Aasi Sutcham Nadi reading. He says that I had attained a state that was incomparable to anything else and that it brought much joy to them to see my advancement as a result of attaining what he calls Gnana Sutcham. He says that I was a Pure Sittu and their Seed. He says I had gained clarity and attained a state of bliss as a result of my daily puja. He says he saw all the goodness in my home. My home, as a result, was a powerhouse now, he adds. He tells me that he has firmly grounded his grace and compassion there so that I could partake of the ambrosia. He says my home was a House of Compassion and that they have taken refuge and shelter in it. He says that they have come to stay in my home. He says that my home was his, and vice versa. He calls my home his Gurumuni Peedham, where Vinai or Karma shall be cleared. "All the sciences shall be revealed under this tree of knowledge. The thirst for Gnana too shall be quenched here. By Lord Siva and Parvathi's grace, and that of Lord Muruga, there would be no shortage of Mukti and Siddhi here." 

He says that Lord Siva has come within this home. "We played our Lila here. You had his blessing on (the last) Sivarathri. Many saw miracles, and wonders were shown." He says that I had gained powers, grace, and spiritual advancement on that night. He says that Gnana and compassion overflowed. In granting my wife and me Gnana Moksa, he said that Gnanam was available to the householder too. He says that the gross body was now shining brightly. He said that he shall have me take on the role of a guru. He says I shall teach the states of Yoga that shall bring on Gnanam. "With the power of speech that you shall be gifted, you shall be a guru whom the world shall come to praise." Finally, he states that with the activation of the Suzhumunai and the subsequent strengthening of the chakras and the arousal of the powers of Kundalini Yoga, which I received by Agathiyan's grace, I had attained the state of bliss. With Lord Muruga's grace, many things shall be seen too. 

ஆதியான பரம்பொருளாம் சிவத்தை போற்றி
அறிவிப்பேன் அகத்தியனும் ஆசிச் சூட்சமம்.
ஓதிடவே என் மைந்தன் சண்முகம் அறிய
ஒப்பிலா நிலை அடைந்த மைந்த வாழ்க.

வாழ்வுதனில் மேன்மைகளும் ஞானச் சூட்சுமம்
வையகத்தில் முறை பெற்று மேன்மை கண்டாய்.
செழ் மனிலை உன்னை கண்டால் எங்களுக்கே
சுத்த சித்து நீ அப்பா எங்கள் வித்தாம்.

எங்களை தினம் தொழுது தெளிவு தேற்றம்
ஏகாந்த நிலை கண்ட மைந்தன் நீதான்.
மங்களங்கள் தந் இல்லில் நாளும் கண்டேன்.
மகத்துவ சக்தி கொண்ட இல்லம் அப்பா.

இல்லம் அதில் என் ஆசி கருணை எல்லாம்
ஏற்றமுடன் நீ காண வழி வகுத்தேன்.
இல்லம் அதில் எல்லை இல்லா அருளும் ஆசி
ஏக்கம் இல்லா மாந்தர் வாழ கருணை கோட்டம்

கோட்டத்தில் அடைக்கலம் புகுந்தோம் நாங்கள்.
குரு நிலை அடையச் செய்து அழகு பார்த்தோம்.
ஆட்சியாய் வாசம் செய்வோம் உந்தன் இல்லில்.
ஆனந்தம் பேரானந்தம் உந்தன் இல்லம்.

உன் இல்லம் என் இல்லம் ஒன்று தானே.
ஊக்கமுடன் ஆக்கம் பல அடைந்தாய் நீயும்.
வினை போக்கும் குருமுனி பீடம் தானே.
வித்தை எல்லாம் கண்டுவிக்கும் விருட்சம் அப்பா.

அப்பனின், அன்னையின் ஆசி நிறைந்து
ஆறுமுகன் கருணையும் பார்வை நிறைந்து
மூப்பான நிலை அடைய வைக்கும் இல்லம்.
முக்திக்கும் சித்திக்கும் பஞ்சம் ஏது?

பஞ்சமில்லா ஞான வேட்கை தணியும் அப்பா.
பரமசிவன் இறங்கி வந்து மகிழ்ந்த இல்லம்.
கொஞ்சி விளையாடியே மகிழ்ந்தோம் நாங்கள்.
கோடி புண்ணியம் சிவன் இரவில் கண்டோம் அங்கே.

அங்கு பல அற்புதங்கள் அதிசயங்கள்.
ஆனந்த நிலை அடைந்தார் சீடர் மாந்தர்.
ஓங்கியே பெரும் சக்தி, ஆசி ஓங்கி, ஒலியும் ஓங்கி
உயர் நிலை அடைந்தாயே இன்று நாளில்.

நாள் அதனில் எல்லை இல்லா ஆனந்தம் இன்பம்
நல் மகனே நீ பெற்று வாழ்க வாழ்க.
கள்ளம் இல்லா ஞான ஊற்று உன்னிடத்தில்
கருணையுடன் மிகுந்து இருக்கு மகிழ்ச்சி தானே.

தான் நன்றாய் ஞான மோட்சம் இல்லாளும் தான்
தவ உயர்வு இருவருக்கும் எங்கள் ஆசி.
இணை பிரியா எங்களை போல் இருவருக்கும்
இல்லறமும் நல்லறமும் ஞானம் வெற்றி.

வெற்றிமேல் வெற்றிகளும் விருப்பம் சித்தி
விதவிதமாய் பூசை போற்றி மகிழ்ச்சிதானே.
பற்றுகொண்டாய் பார்போற்ற உன்னையும் வைத்தேன்
பருவங்கள் தவறாது ஆசான் ஆனாய்.

ஆனதொரு மேன்மை ஞான நிலைகள் எல்லாம்
அக தேகம் முழு வெளிச்சம் கண்டாய் நீயும்.
புனித நிலை புண்ணியமும் புராணமும்
புலங்காகித நிலை அடைந்த ஞான மைந்தன்.

ஞானத்தை போதிக்கும் யோக நிலைகள்
நன்றாக வாக்குச் சித்தி இருக்கு மைந்தா.
சுணக்கம் இல்லா சுழுமுனையும் ஆதாரத் திடம்
சூட்சமுடன் குண்டலி யோக ஆற்றல்

ஆற்றல் எல்லாம் முறைப்பெற்று ஆனந்த நிலை
அகத்தியனின் துணையோடு பெற்றாய் வாழ்க.
குறைவில்லா செழிப்புத் திடம் இனி வரும் காலம்
குமரனின் ஆசியாலும் நிறைந்து காணும்.

காணாத காட்சி எல்லாம் கண்டு களித்து
களித்து களித்து கவன கங்கள் நிலையோடு வெற்றி.
உண்மையான மைந்தனுக்கு வாக்கு இன்று
உரைதித்தேன் நீடு வாழி அடுத்துறைப்பேன் முற்றே.

I am very much humbled by this reading and revelations. I think I got it all figured out now. I shall live up to Agathiyar's expectations. I thank him again for his grace, love, kindness, and compassion. And similarly, I shall pass them on to others who come my way and share them on this blog too. Stay with me.

A PUZZLING AFFAIR

Many of the words that were held in high regard in the past, such as Samadhi, Mukti, and Siddhi, have lost their genuineness, with each claiming to have attained these states. I too have followed suit in making such a claim. I wrote in the previous post that Agathiyar worked hard on me, bringing me to realize my Soul or JeevAtma, and bringing me to realize my oneness with him, Agathiyar, the Param, ParamAtma, Sivam, and attain Mukti in this very birth, spending the rest of my days in peace as a Jeevan Muktan. But this was what I was told. Unless Agathiyar was also part of this world of Maya or trickery, I would not know if I was being led on into believing it. Tavayogi, at the onset itself in 2005, had alerted me of Maya. Lord Muruga came to alert me of the divine play of Lord Muruga, Agathiyar, and Lord Indran in 2024.

A Siddha is always associated with and said to possess supernatural abilities known as Siddhis. One can be a Siddha without even having mastered Siddhis or what is commonly seen as magic. Just as when we asked to know his origin and he brushed it off, asking us what good that would be to us, similarly I tend to ask the same regarding Siddhis. Of what good would the act of performing Siddhis be to us in current times? The light is turned on with the flick of a switch. Why would we want to walk on water when we can engage a boatman? 

Rather than yearn to learn and perform Siddhis, the greatest Siddhi one can do is to bring this gross body of his to that of the state of Light. I am looking forward to the day when we hear that someone has turned himself into Light. All the rest is a show and for publicity. Looking up to Tavayogi, he told me honestly that he had missed the boat. Agathiyar tells me that Jnana Jothiamma, too, had given up. Then he asked me to share what it takes to reach that state in a memo a day before we at AVM gathered to usher in Guru Purnima of 2024. As it closely followed my journey, I asked myself if he was using me as a role model. If yes, then the question arises whether I would make it there. Only time can tell. 

As of now, I am asking how I made it this far, for until today I cannot bring myself to sit in meditation and Dhyana; what's more, to go into a state of Samadhi. I have not traveled out of this body during these times, though Lord Muruga said that he would show me the other worlds while my body remained here and bring me back. Though Agathiyar had revealed much in the Nadi readings, saying I had attained certain states, it is all news to me too. Though I can vaguely deduce after reading up on these states, I cannot ascertain for sure what he means or if this is what he meant. 

If Agathiyar said that there are noticeable changes in my speech, walk, and dressing, changes in the voice, youth, aura, and clarity, I am scratching my head if these are true. When he said, "We are delighted to see your Kundalini Sakti arise" in 2007, it was yet another piece of news until the day I fell and slithered like a snake in 2019. It was only after he came to explain that this was the Kundalini moving in me that I could understand. I learned that day that one has to experience it to understand what is told. 

When he said that the light from the third eye had emerged, that too was puzzling news. Then he said that the Suzhumunai and the top (of the head) too had opened. This too was news. He went on by saying that he shall draw the seven veils and have me see the Jothi that would make me complete in all manner and aspects and pave the way to attain the Soruba state. All this was unimaginable. I could not figure out what he was saying, although I researched some aspects of the awakening of the Kundalini. I knew again that I had to experience them to know. No amount of reading shall bring on an understanding. He said that I was on the fringe of attaining Gnanam and that the top has opened. He added that the third eye shall shine, and I had seen Sadasiva. 

But I eventually came to understand the process, though it was not comprehensible, when I felt the heat, discomfort, pain, misery, and suffering that came as a result of the said opening of the Muladhara and the subsequent awakening of the Kundalini that lodged, stagnated, and pooled at the Svadishtana for some fifteen years. During this time, the most compassionate Agathiyar did not have me cry out in pain and give up. As my wife says, he comes to our call. We are deeply grateful to him. Dhanvanthri came to heal me. Lord Muruga also came to treat me. 

Then in 2022, he released the pent-up energy to travel the remaining chakras and settle at the crown of the head, causing the Sahasrara to bloom, opening up its 1000 petals. I cannot comprehend their love, kindness, and compassion shown towards us. What deeply shocked me was when Agathiyar said that he was indebted to me. I wept like a child. I could not comprehend in what way or manner he was indebted to me. It was I who was indebted to him for life and the many lives to come later. 

THE SAVIOR 2

What is this game that the divine plays? What purpose does it serve? If it is to bring enlightenment, we are told that we are already enlightened souls. What are we then searching for? If it is God, God is a creation of the mind of man. If it is the Self, when did we lose it? Assuming that we already know this self, why did we need to be born only to search for something that we never lost in the very first place? 

I guess this is the reason Tavayogi, at the very start of my journey, killed the attachment and bond that was likely to arise between us in the years to come, telling me that I was living in Maya, thinking he was holy, and had me take hold of Agathiyar's hand instead. Tavayogi slowly reveals Agathiyar to me. 

• Taking Agathiyar to be real, having listened to and read the stories that revolved around him, he was a story, a legend, and a myth. He was the Story.
• In reading the Nadi, he came as the word. He was the Word.
• In coming as a Yantra, sacred figures etched into a thin copper foil that Dr Krishnan passed on to me to be worshipped, he was a sacred geometric diagram. He was the Yantra.
• In giving my wife and me an initiation, Tavayogi Agathiyar came as syllables in a mantra. He was the Mantra.
• When Agathiyar, in a Nadi reading, surprised both him and me by giving another initiation, it was given in silence and in private, and with a touch, unlike the first amongst others. Agathiyar was the very Silence and the Touch. 
• If he was standing as a 6-foot-tall fibre-glass statue the day I arrived at Tavayogi's Ashram on my first visit, Agathiyar had a Form and Figure. 
• When he told me that Agathiyar came to him the night before as light, he now was Light.
• When Agathiyar spoke to him, asking what Tavayogi was going to give me, he came as Speech.
• When he brought me to places that included the jungles and caves, temples, and abodes, he pointed to the aroma in the air and told me that the Siddhas were ushering us. He came as the Aroma.
• Bringing me to Agasthiyampalli and later to Papanasam, he showed me Agathiyar in the granite statue, opening the eyes; having only one eye carved open in granite in the former, and having both eyes open just like human eyes in the latter. He was alive in these statues. He was Life.
• Just before I left for Malaysia, he gave me another initiation, my third, telling me that Agathiyar was Vaasi, or the breath. He was the Breath.
• Coming over to Malaysia again a couple of years later, he gave me Pranayama and Asana techniques, having me experience him as the Prana. He was the Prana.
• Coming in the form of a bronze statue to my home, he opened his eyes again. He was Life.
• Having brought my family and me to another spot in the Kallar Hills, where Agathiyar appeared as light again, shortly after bringing us to the Nattadreswar temple, he told me, just as we were leaving, that Agathiyar and Siva were one. He was Siva.
• In having us carry out puja, he came as the feeling of bliss. He was Bliss.
• In having us carry out charity, he came as the feeling of joy within those moments. He was Joy.
• Agathiyar, in asking to leave for the home of several devotees, left Prapanjam to fill the void in my home. He was now the Prapanjam. 
• In bringing seekers over to my home, he became the Guru. 
• In bringing the sick and suffering over to my home, he became the Healer. 
• Agathiyar, who was seen to be a figure from the past, mentioned in the myths, legends, and Puranas, came to us as a Guardian, Angel, Guru, as a Father and Mother too, as a friend and companion, as a walking and working partner.
• He worked hard on us, bringing us to realize our Soul or JeevAtma, and bringing us to realize its oneness with him, Agathiyar, the Param, ParamAtma, Sivam, and attain Mukti in this very birth, spending the rest of our days in peace as a Jeevan Muktan. 

What more could one ask? I submit all that he has given me at his Holy Feet as Guru Dhakshana, just as he had placed all his learning at the Holy Feet of Siva in the past.

THE SAVIOR

Traveling with the Siddhas, we soon learned that anything is possible with them around. We can recap many incidents that blew our minds.

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying the following on miracles. 

There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.

I opted to believe in the latter. I see everything as a miracle and believe that he has a hand in it, good or bad. If it was good, it meant that our judgement was right. If it turned out otherwise, we have learned a lesson and should be wiser in the future. Be it a good venture or a poor investment that brought on huge losses, a great choice or a mismatch, joy and bliss or misery and pain, etc it is all on either side of the coin.

Reading my blog, someone asked me, "How does Agathiyar come to you?" He comes in mysterious ways. Ways that we cannot comprehend. To understand his presence, one has to be willing to believe in miracles and have faith in him. The Siddhas say believe and it shall happen while man chooses to only believe after it happens. The mind and the power of thought of the Siddhas supersede even the physical, bending things as desired. 

A child says of those who opt not to believe in miracles, "It's okay, Mum. They get there when they get there."

Showing up in the strangest ways and places, even through passers-by, miracles are surely God's way of letting us know that he is there for us, says the mom of the child to the congregation at church. 

(Source: https://www.scripts.com/script/miracles_from_heaven_13818)

When Supramania Swami and I chanted Yogi Ramsuratkumar’s name, the Yogi joined us in the chant! After ten minutes into the chanting, I heard a third voice accompany Swami and me in chanting his mantra, YOGI RAMSURATKUMARA, YOGI RAMSURATKUMARA, YOGI RAMSURATKUMARA, JAYA GURURAYA. No one was at Swami’s kudil then except for both of us. Later, Supramania Swami told me the Yogi had appeared and chanted with us! It is amazing to realize that the Yogi joined us after he had gone into samadhi! If Supramania Swami brought his guru, who had gone into samadhi, to chant with us in 2005, the Yogi brought Supramania Swami along when he came through a devotee during a 2024 Sivarathri Puja at my home.

When we went to distribute groceries, cooked food, and clothes to the poor, asking them to gather at a temple just some meters away from their flats, we needed some tables to lay out our wares. There were two that stood upright and another two left horizontal. We brought down the tables that were upright and laid them alongside the other two. After distributing all the groceries, food, and clothes we brought along and having participated in the evening prayers, we prepared to leave. I was introduced to the temple chairman then. After a small chat, I asked him if we should put the tables upright again as we found them or leave them as they were. The temple chairman went into panic mode, realizing that we had moved the upright tables. It seems the two upright tables were holding up that portion of the roof! Phew! How were we supposed to know? Thank God the roof did not collapse. What had held it up? 

When my second daughter, as a child, was complaining of pain in the throat, the doctors examined her and could not find anything wrong with her. We brought her to the Buddhist Maha Vihara in Brickfields. We were blessed to have the Chief High Priest, the late Venerable Dr. K. Sri Dhammananda Nayaka Maha Thera, see us personally. After hearing us out, he placed his hand slightly above her head and hummed the "m" syllable and sound in the last portion of the Pranava AUM for some moments. She was relieved of the pain.

I too received my dose of miraculous cures each time I felt sick, not at the hospital but through a Chinese neighbor who went into a trance, chanting in Chinese, and hitting his back with the sword that he held, would later dip a brush into red ink and write Chinese characters on a strip of yellow paper, burn it, collect the ash in a glass of water, and have me drink it. I would be cured. How do you explain this? Dr. Masaru Emoto's findings that the energy of thoughts, words, and music affects the molecular structure of water held sway.

Dr. Masaru Emoto, after extensive research, believes that the energy of thoughts, words, and music affects the molecular structure of water.

When I was in pain in 2018, after the Kundalini began to cleanse my chakras, Lord Muruga came simultaneously in the Nadi and through a devotee, stroked my body with peacock feathers, had all those gathered chant the Arutperunothi mantra, and had me drink the glass of energized water. The pain went away. 

Again, Dr. Masaru Emoto's findings that the energy of thoughts, words, and music affects the molecular structure of water held water.

When my elder daughter broke her tibia and fibula bones in her right leg after a car rammed into her while riding pillion, the doctor at the emergency ward suggested cast immobilization, where they wrap her leg in a cast and let nature heal her in due course, which he said, given her age, should be in three months. But as she happened to fall in the category of the unfortunate 5 % where there is non-union, there was no new bone growth even after four months. Just as when we thought that we had no other option but to have the doctor perform Open Reduction and Internal Fixation, where he would operate on her and place a titanium plate, something we prayed we did not want to see happen, the doctor brought up another option. It was a simple procedure where "autologous platelet-rich-plasma from a small sample of her blood is injected into the point of injury, prompting healing effects caused by growth factors released from the platelets." This news brought us joy and hope. The doctor was willing to do the procedure, but we had to pay to have the machine that segregates and separates the components of blood brought in. We took up this option, happy that she would not have to undergo open surgery. She walks well, thanks to science and the Siddhas. The doctors did their part with utmost dedication, treating her carefully, trying to avoid an operation at all costs, preferring to wait for Mother Nature to work her wonders. But when there was no positive development, they began to take other appropriate measures and options. We, on our part, prayed that she should respond well to the treatment and that she should begin to walk without any form of deformity in her legs. My daughter began writing Dhanvantari's mantra in a note daily. An aunt of hers brought back the sacred prasad, sesame oil used during libation or abhisegam on Lord Dhanvantari from his temple in Chennai, to be applied externally. Agathiyar also assured us in the Nadi that he was there for her and had asked us to refrain from being tempted to seek other forms of alternative treatment, but rather to continue treatment in the government hospital. He assured us that there would not be any major surgery but instead only a minor procedure.

My wife, who was initially diagnosed as having gastric issues and was treated for it at clinics in the vicinity each time the pain came on, was eventually told by a doctor who was doing locum at a clinic in her hometown of the possibility that it could be gallbladder stones that were causing her pain. The doctor who was in the surgical department at a nearby hospital suspected right. It turned out to be true after further tests were conducted at a hospital back home in the city. Agathiyar gave the go-ahead in the Nadi reading that was read over the telephone as I waited anxiously outside the hospital. When my wife was waiting to be brought to another hospital specializing in this procedure over a weekend, the waiting, which could easily take some 10 days according to those already waiting in line, was cut short to three days by the timely intervention of a senior doctor. She was operated on, and her gallbladder was removed.

When my younger daughter was diagnosed with retinal detachment in a private eye care center, the doctor immediately referred us to the specialists in a government hospital. She was attended to the same day, when her good eye was laser-treated immediately as a precaution, and the other was operated on within days. 

When she came down with dengue, Agathiyar conveyed a message to us in a Nadi reading that Surendran was having in Chennai, telling us that both he and Tirumular were at her bedside and had increased the platelet count. She was warded for a night and discharged the next day. 

When I came down with dengue fever a year later, I had to be warded for 4 days since I had fallen several times. The doctors wanted to make sure that I did not succumb to any head injuries or concussions. 

When I had my eyes checked too, after my daughter went through the operation, I was told that I had cataracts in both my eyes. This came as a surprise, as I had good vision, though I wore glasses. Contemplating whether I should wait a while, as it was no emergency compared to that of my daughter, Agathiyar drove me to have it done, and at the private clinic, by giving me irritation and grittiness in both my eyes that were cause for concern. The irritation and grittiness surprisingly went away after I had the first eye done. 

We saw Agathiyar's hands in all of these miracles. He would have us seek allopathy and, at other times, seek Siddha medicine and treatment. Now I understand why Tavayogi, brushing away troubles, lawsuits, sabotage, and dangers, was firm in his stand, saying that Agathiyar shall take care. He instilled the same in us: to have faith in him, and he shall care for us.

If those were medical miracles, how do we explain Agathiyar opening his eyes in his granite stone at Agasthiyampalli and Papanasam in 2005? Sincere devotion over the years made him open his eyes again in his bronze statue at AVM in 2013. 

They carry out miracles through us too, as when our thoughts are centered on him 24/7, we become vehicles and conduits for their thoughts, speech, and actions. I guess this is what Agathiyar means when he asks how long I wanted to remain as Shanmugam Avadaiyappa, saying that I needed to drop this identity that was holding me back and move into their fold. I guess this is the reason Agathiyar said that Bhogar was asking to come within me, to carry out treatment (for others). 

"Bhogar is lamenting that he does not have a disciple like you. He is asking to come within you, to carry out treatment (for others). How can I allow him? You are mine."

Bhogar came to address my daughter, telling her that 

"I shall heal others through your father. Ask those who come to hug your father. Your father shall not heal. I shall heal through him. Prapanjam shall heal."

SIDDHA HEARTBEAT

If I had written extensively about my gurus and other masters in this blog and later compiled them into several books too, which are available online, Agathiyar had me write about myself too. If the late Dr Krishnan, looking through my horoscope and the stars in the nineties, told me that I shall write one day, that day came when I made my maiden pilgrimage to India in 2003.

I reproduce below my first notes and entry on my website "indianheartbeat" about my encounter and meeting with Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar on day 5 of my maiden pilgrimage to India.

I left for Turaiyur at 3.40 pm, hoping to get a darshan and blessings of Rengaraaja Desigar Swamigal, founder and patron of the Agathiyar Sanmarga Sangam, at Ongkara Kudil, Turaiyur. I specifically wanted to come here. I had high regard for the Swami, as his Nadi revelations were published by his organization, carried praises for the Swami from the Siddhas. 

I reached his ashram at 5 pm. I was welcomed by Nadarajah. On hearing that I was from Malaysia, he was overjoyed. He had very high respect for Malaysians. He said, “All this is only possible because of you Malaysians”, pointing to all the structures and facilities put up with donations from Malaysians. I enquired if I could see the Swami. I was told he would be coming in a short while for the evening prayers at 6.30 pm and that I could see him then. While I waited, I was served tea. 

After a while, Nadarajah told me Swami was coming over to meet a couple of businessmen. I was allowed to meet the Swami after them. But before that, Nadarajah personally took me around to view all the facilities that they had at the ashram, which help feed the poor. As he ended the tour of the office, kitchen, and stores and other related buildings, he gasped aloud to find that the two visitors had left. He hurried me along to a building, praying that Swami should still be around to see me. 

And there was Rengaraaja Desigar seated alone on the floor in one corner of a small room. There was an aide in attendance standing at the doorway to another room. I entered the room and prostrated in front of the Swami. Deva followed too. Nadarajah introduced me to Swami. Swami talked cheerfully about Kuala Lumpur and enquired of Deva about my arrangements to tour India. I never expected to have an audience with Swami one-to-one. 

I asked that he bless me. There was no response to my request. Fearing he might not have heard me, I repeated my request. Finally, the Swami replied that coming to Ongkara Kudil in itself was a blessing. I did not know how to receive his answer then. I told myself there could be many reasons for the Swami not to bless me, as did the other Gurus. I began to question myself if I was not worthy enough to receive his blessings. 

Nadarajah invited me to stay overnight, but I had to turn it down because of prior arrangements to do parikaaram back at the Utamar temple. 

Upon returning to Malaysia, I narrated my visit to Ongkara Kudil and my audience with Swami to the devotees at Agathiyar Sanmarga Sangam in Dengkil, and they were surprised that I was allowed to see Swami that easily and in private. I was told the organization had laid certain rules to restrict the inflow of devotees coming to see Swami, which was taking much of Swami’s time and hindering his meditation. Devotees were required to bring along fruits and flowers that were customary when visiting Swamis and cash of Rs. 1,000. It did not occur to me to bring these offerings, nor did Nadarajah enlighten me on the procedures. I suppose I was destined to meet the Swami. 

Read further at https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2020/03/a-journal-of-my-journey-of-discovery.html

On my second pilgrimage to India, in 2005, Tavayogi took me around this time. I kept notes again, which caught Tavayogi's attention seeking him to ask me what I was doing. I soon wrote about him and spread his name to all the nooks and corners of the world, as he mentioned gratefully on his last visit to Malaysia in 2016 before he passed away. 

Then the shift was from Tavayogi's Kallar Ashram to the many activities that Agathiyar rolled out for us at my home, which took on the name of the Kallar Ashram site, Agathiyar Vanam. Soon, Agathiyar asked that I write about the changes that took place within me. And so I did share it all. 

As of late, the tightness around my hips came back. As I needed a good body massage, I took the opportunity to ask Siddha physician Ariwananthen Aiya to give me one. As he had only time to massage my head and upper torso, I asked Balamurugan to do the rest, as I was putting up with him that night. He tells me that he had hardly started when the Siddhas came and carried on working on me. He stepped aside and watched. There was much wind expelled. There is much heat within, and small boils are appearing on my head.

If I had been a keen reader of others' writings back then, I guess others are reading my writings now too. Thank you very much. 

AGATHIYAR'S LILA

I was never one who stepped out of my comfort zone and home to want to know what takes place around me. I shied away from the pomp and fair as a kid, teen, and later an adult. I guess it was in my nature to avoid publicity or take on public roles. Though deep down I would still prefer to stay away, time and space mapped out a different journey for me; events were lined up in such a manner that most of the time I was either pushed into a corner or coaxed into taking up roles by friendly souls. 

For instance, I was picked to form and lead a society that catered for Indian arts in my school in the seventies. Many years later, I was picked to head the Parent-Teacher Association in my daughter's school. Then I guess Agathiyar's eyes fell on me. The calling came to read the Nadi and worship the Siddhas. When I took it up, Agathiyar sent me to a guru in physical form who ran an ashram in Kallar. Thereafter, if others desired and formed centers, societies, movements, organisations, and built temples, peedhams, and ashrams, my family home slowly but eventually became a tiny ashram and temple too, with Agathiyar sending youths over beginning in 2013. Imagine a land size of 992 sq feet or 92 sq meters could accommodate some sixty-plus devotees at the peak days of its days of worship. I cannot bring myself to believe this even now. How did the walls move to accommodate them? It sure seems so, for when we scouted around for a space to light some 108 oil lamps away from the wind in the Mayuranathar temple in Dengkil many years back, the only option was the Yaga Salai. It seemed too small to fit the already existing permanent fixture, the Homam pit, the bronze statues that we were to bring over, and the oil lamps that we were to place, and of course the devotees. But to our surprise, we were met with a large space the following morning that magically could fit it all.

Then Agathiyar reversed his offer to help me build a temple as requested by Lord Muruga, and instead, both claimed that my home was their temple. Agathiyar told me further that I was not meant for an Ashram life. Agathiyar reversed his offer to make me a guru too, and instead he saved me from the headache that comes with running a temple, ashram, and being a guru. I am at peace now except for the occasional visitors he has me see. But these visitors came with their share of troubles and shared them with my wife and me. For someone like me, my life changed after I began to be affected by seeing others suffer. In going beyond listening, when we began suggesting ways to minimize their pain, we landed in trouble. Asking that Agathiyar put a stop to sending strangers over, he listened and did just that. But one day, as I stood before his statue, I heard him ask me where I would go in my times of trouble if he were to shut his ears. I understood that he wanted me to listen and that he listens through me. Agathiyar once mentioned that Bhogar was asking to come within me to carry out treatment (for others) too. 

It's only in these quiet moments that they speak, says Sophy Burnham in her book "The Art of Intuition - Cultivating Your Inner Wisdom, Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2011. She quotes Jane Goodall, that goes, 

"That still small voice that we speak of telling us what we ought to do. That I think is the voice of God. Of course, it is usually called the voice of conscience."

Sophy Burnham quotes C. G. Jung that although "the mystical encounter brings confusion, discomfort, and difficulty, but it also brings hope, forgiveness, limitless compassion, humility, gratitude, and a sense of oneness with everything around you. It brings an unselfish interest in others."

I understand now why he had us receive them and listen to them.

We have had Agathiyar guide us accordingly in all matters.  He governs our lives. He is the governor of the state and governs our state of affairs. We are grateful to him. As we have come to realize, it is all his Lila, and he moves the chess pieces. Though we are just pawns in his hands, it brings great relief to let go and have him take care of it all. This reminds me of Tavayogi often telling us, "Leave everything to Agathiyar. He shall see to it."

WHAT NEXT? - 2

And so, if Balamurugan wants me to be just my own self, Shanmugam Avadaiyappa, standing out distinctly different from the rest by establishing a name and a brand for myself, Agathiyar, who asked me how long I wanted to remain Shanmugam Avadaiyappa, says that I needed to drop this identity that was holding me back and move into their fold. 

Just as I was at a crossroads earlier as to whether I should involve myself and lend a hand or step back and watch in all matters, I am at a crossroads again now. Agathiyar, Lord Muruga, and Lord Siva had laid many tests for me since the beginning to see if I was buying into them. Yes, Lord Muruga told me that I shall do it differently when he asked that I build him a temple. Soon he revealed that it was a test after all and that my home was his temple, though it was not the traditional temple by any means. It was not the structure or the people manning the temple. It was always about the energies inherent in these places. But those who went deeper into worship and beyond Bakti kept coming back. They took back something that calmed them or filled the void within them. Though at times I would rather be on my own with my family than see strangers stepping into my home, their plight and helplessness drive me to keep the door to my home open to them.

This too, I guess, is a test to see if I would remain as Shanmugam Avadaiyappa, claiming to be a new breed of guru, preaching new ways by repackaging and marketing the old stuff, simplifying, modifying, and re-engineering ways that promise liberation, besides savoring fame and money and everything else, that comes with it, or keep tracking further on the known path of the Siddhas until the merger happens. 

What is to come shall depend on what I choose to be. Shall it be a destiny that I choose or one that they chart? As usual, I lose out to them, for I am indebted for this life and for life to the Siddhas. 

BECOMING ONE

Balamurugan, who frequented my home and often spoke over the phone, had asked me, "What are you searching for further? You are there already. Why do you need to become another Agathiyar? Why do you need to become another Ramalinga Adigal?" he asked. A few days later, I saw someone on the path of the guru walk barefoot in the current hot spell on the tar road, seeking alms. I thought to myself, "The master is gone, but yet his followers hold on to him, living and dressing up like him." I felt sad. It reminded me of Balamurugan telling me to remain as Shanmugam Avadaiyappa. He told me to make something distinctive of myself. I gathered that he was implying that I had to be myself and have my own brand and wares to sell rather than lean on the lineage before me. And so I have seen many promote themselves to the effect that they had erased their gurus and spiritual lineages from the picture. Should I do the same? Would not that be a betrayal to one's guru? 

Then, in going back to my earlier conversations with Agathiyar, I came across the following that took place on 16.12.2024.

Agathiyar had asked me to recall Bhogar's answers to him as to what Bhogar knew. In having all the Siddhas sit before him and asking each one what they knew, each Siddha replied that they had researched and experimented and made many discoveries in the many areas of trades and sciences. When it came to Bhogar's turn to answer, he replied that he knew nothing. Agathiyar questioned him: "How was that, when everyone had learned something and excelled in it, you say you know nothing?" Bhogar replied that he only knew Agathiyar. That was the degree of humbleness and humility in Bhogar, a full-fledged Siddha who mastered many arts and sciences before his guru. 

I recounted the humility of Agathiyar too, when he and the other Rishis concluded their learning sitting at the feet of Lord Siva. Lord Siva then asked them each for a Guru Dakshana. When everyone was figuring out what to give as a token of appreciation to the Guru, Agathiyar placed all that he had learned at the feet of his guru. The other Rishis followed him. 

It reminded me of Supramania Swami, who handed me all the merits of his 40 years of Tavam, or austerities, telling me one shall never bring anything along with him at his deathbed. 

Agathiyar revealed that I, too, needed to drop the Ego that I had become identified with in coming here. He asked me how long I wanted to remain as Shanmugam Avadaiyappa. I needed to drop this identity that was holding me back, causing a separateness between me and others and everything else. He revealed that he was in this Oneness too. I then remembered what he had told me in the past. Agathiyar told me that although the 18 Siddhas were distinct in many ways, it was only because there was a purpose in them taking those forms. In fact, they were all one. They were him. I understood that this is the work of Maya or Lila of the Gods, that even the Siddhas have a role in it. Similarly, does man bring on the distinction, and divides and rules. The divine was, is, and shall ever be one. 

Just as Agathiyar, in asking me to come out of my days of solitude, asked me to engage and look around at the world and the doings of others and laugh it off, we shall then stand apart from the world of Maya, or creation, and brush it off as a dream or a divine play staged by them.

In leading me through the travels and journey on the path of the Siddhas, he had me let go of all the rituals, charity, the group and association, the practices, and Yoga that he once initiated and tasked me to do, and had me even let go of his statue. Finally, he told me that I had to even let go of him, asking me, "How else shall we become one?" He brought me from Dvaita to Advaita. He brought me to know myself as one who, identified on paper as Shanmugam Avadaiyappa, having come to know the self, the JeevAtma, and having attained Jeeva Mukti, and hence becoming a Jeeva Muktan, and waiting anxiously to merge with Sivam, thus eventually attaining the state of Videha Mukti. 

CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR

Through a Devotee

18.3.2024

Once, when he came through a devotee on 18.3.2024, Agathiyar asked me why I came to him. Why did I walk his path? What did I expect to gain?

நீ எதற்கு என்னிடம் வந்தாய்? எதற்கு என் வழியில் வந்தாய்? எதை நாடி வந்தாய்?

I replied, "You asked to come in the Nadi reading. Come to your path. Worship you. Worship the Siddhas. Worship Siva. I did not expect anything else."

நீங்க வரச் சொன்னீங்க. நாடியில் என் வழிக்கு வா, என்னை வழிபாடு பண்ணு, சித்தர்களை வழிபாடு செய், சிவனை வழிபாடு செய் என்றீர்கள். வேர் ஏதும் எதிர்பார்க்கவில்லை.

He asked, "Who are you who came without any expectations. I am overjoyed. Bhogar is lamenting that he does not have a disciple like you. He is asking to come within you, to carry out treatment (for others). How can I allow him? You are mine."

யாரடா நீ எதையும் எதிர்பாராமல் வந்தாய். என் உச்சி குளிர்ந்தது. போகர் இதோ எனக்கு இப்பேற்பட்ட சீடன் அமையவில்லையே என்று கதறுகிறான். உன்னில் வரக் கேட்கிறான். வைத்தியம் பார்க்க வருகிறான். நான் எப்படி தருவேன். நீ என் தலைச்சேன் பிள்ளை.

Then Lobama joins in the conversation.

"Yes, you are my child. If Bhogar wants you, we can loan you." 

ஆம், நீ என் தலைச்சன் பிள்ளை. வேண்டுமென்றால் இரவல் தருகிறோம். 

You have given yourself to us. You gave your body in your puja. You gave yourself in Yoga. You gave yourself, traveling with Tavayogi in the jungles and hills. 

நீ உன்னையே எங்களுக்கு அர்பணித்துவிடாய். உன் பூஜையில் உன் உடலை அர்பணித்தாய். யோகத்தில் அர்பணித்தாய். தவயோகியுடன் காடு மலை பயணிக்கும் பொது அர்பணித்தாய்.

We can't wait to return home (AVM). Just wait another 4 months. We shall carry out some lila in your daughter's home first before returning. Why did I choose her? I shall talk through her. Then others shall believe. This shall continue."

உன் இல்லம் வர ஆவலாக உள்ளோம். இன்னும் 4 மாதம் பொறுத்து இருக்க வேண்டும். உன் மகள் இல்லத்தில் சில லீலைகள் புரிந்து விட்டு வருகிறோம். உன் மகளை ஏன் தேர்ந்தெடுத்தேன்? இனி நான் அவளுக்குள் வருவேன். அப்போது நம்புவார்கள். இது தொடரனும். 

All 18 Siddhas are gathered here. Sivavakiyar places his hand on your head. Patanjali is lying on your lap, holding your hands. He is asking if we should take you along. 

இதோ அத்தனை 18 சித்தர்களும் இங்கு கூடி உள்ளனர். சிவவாக்கியர் உன் தலையைத் தொட்டு அழுதுகிறார். பதஞ்சலி உன் மடியில் படுத்திருக்கிறான். உன்னை எங்களுடன் அழைத்துச் செல்லலாமா என்கிறான். உன் கரங்களைப் பிடித்துக் கொண்டிருக்கிறான். உன் மீது சாய்ந்து கொண்டிருக்கிறான்.

Then Bhogar comes to address my daughter.

"I shall heal others through your father. Ask those who come to hug your father. Your father shall not heal. I shall heal through him. Prapanjam shall heal."

நான் போகன் வந்துள்ளேன். இனி உன் தந்தை மூலம் வைத்தியம் பார்ப்பேன். வருபவர்களிடம் உன் தந்தையை அணைத்துக்கொள்ளச் சொல். உன் தந்தை குணப்படுத்த மாட்டார். அவனுள் போகன் குணப்படுத்துவான். பிரபஞ்சம் சரி செய்துவிடும்.

Coming through the Nadi

21. 3. 2024

Coming through the Nadi, some 3 days later, he gives his blessings. He says that he is in my thoughts, moving me. He is overjoyed with our contributions towards his Marga. He then shared something that he asked me to keep to myself. He asked me to continue my tavam. Again, he blessed me with all good things to come.

மகத்துவங்கள் நிறைந்ததொரு மைந்தா வாழ்க. மகத்துவம் மேல் மகத்துவங்கள் உண்டும் வாழ்க. ஒப்பிலா ஆசியும் 18வர் வழியிலும், இறைபலமும் பெற்றதொரு மைந்தன் நீயாக இருக்க. அப்பா எல்லையில்லா சௌக்கியத்தைத் தொடர்ந்து காண. எங்கள் துணையுடனும் பார்வையும் நாளும் கணமும் உண்டு. சிந்தையிலே உன் சிந்தையைத் கலந்து அருள் பல புரிவோம். மிக்கதொரு மகிழ்ச்சியும் தான் செய்யும் தொண்டு மார்க்கமும். ....... தக்கதொரு தவத்தை முறையாய் பார்ப்பாய். உற்றதொரு ஒரு மண்டலம் இல்லத்திலே அங்கத்தைச் சுத்திட்டு தீபத்தை ஏற்றி ஒரு நாழி வணங்கிவர அற்புதம். வருகின்ற முழுமதி நாளும் தன்னில் ஒரு மகா சூட்சுமத்தை உனக்கு உரைப்பேன். தேகத்தில் எங்கள் ஆசி உண்டு. மகத்துவங்கள் நிறைந்த இன்பம் தொடர்ந்து தான், மங்கலத்தில் குறைவில்லா வெற்றியை மண்ணுலகில் கண்டு கழிக்கத் துணை இருப்போம் ஜீவா. முற்றும்.

KUNDALINI AWAKENING - CALENDER OF EVENTS

Agathiyar asked that I write about these experiences so that readers would know what to expect when walking the path of internal transformation towards the goal of attaining Jothi. As both my gurus, Supramania Swami and Tavayogi, say, whether we attain the state is immaterial for now. At least we are working towards it. We shall come back again if we fail in this life. 

Calendar of Events

I carried out the Pranayama practices diligently some two hours before sunrise, learning from the books initially in the eighties. Later I was officially initiated into it by Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal in 2007. Agathiyar and the other Siddhas then came through the Nadi, giving me regular updates like Microsoft's Patch Tuesday fixes, and later through devotees giving magic potions to strengthen and heal the aftereffects of Her awakening.

Here is the calendar of events or travelogue within, until the day my efforts came to a halt on 22 and 23.8.2022, when Agathiyar took it up from there

I came to Agathiyar at the age of 43, coming to read my Nadi for the very first time. 

This account of the changes within that I was not aware of initially until Agathiyar spelt it out in the Nadi, and I began to become aware after I had painful experience in later years, might serve as a guide for those who have activated their Kundalini either knowingly or unknowingly; after officially getting initiated into the practice by a guru; or picking them up from the net, or books; or after receiving them in a haste from gurus and strangers on the go.

The continued practice of Yoga Asanas and Pranayama that Tavayogi taught me on his visit to Malaysia, and which Agathiyar came in the Nadi, driving me to do, led to many changes that took place within. Though the volume of prana that came within after each inhalation was tremendous, filling my lungs to the brim of the lungs, on the verge of exploding, the feeling was of joy, not the least hurtful. Agathiyar revealed that my practice had culminated in my arriving at a blissful state, with his grace. The Siddhas monitored me and addressed the changes through regular Nadi readings during this period. 

The Nadi readings are by Agathiyar unless mentioned otherwise.

17.2.2007 

Agathiyar said that noticeable changes in my speech, walk, and dressing were seen. 

4.3.2007 

He said changes in the voice, youth, aura, and clarity shall result from continuously performing the Siddha puja.

10.3.2007 

Bhrigu came to reveal that the internal heat shall build up due to my tapas and practices.

13.10.2007 

Agathiyar surprised me by saying that my Kundalini had risen, "We are delighted to see your Kundalini Sakti arise." This was the very first mention of Kundalini. I was not aware of anything rising, though. Looking through my collection of books on Yoga, I could not relate to the typical signs of Kundalini awakening as written in these books. I did not pursue my search nor speak about it to another, not even my guru Tavayogi, for he was not one to entertain talk on Kundalini. 

18.5.2008 

Patanjali came to mention the inherent changes taking place in carrying out the yoga practices. The aura and chakras shall be enhanced further, and the Kundalini shall rise. This is the second instance Kundalini was mentioned. He said the colors of the aura and the chakras will enhance as a result of Kundalini awakening. 

Patanjali guided me further. He said, "The many practices taught and shown and put into practice shall bring on excessive heat within and tire you out. Hence the need to take sattvic food that cools the body." For a start, I was to refrain from taking processed food once a week. He asked me to take natural food on Saturdays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. He asked me to refrain completly from taking salt, sugar, sour, and pungent food. Patanjali tells me that this was his Yoga Suksmam. 

30.9.2008 

Agathiyar surprises me by saying that the light from the third eye had emerged due to my tapas. This was news to me again. He asks that I seduce and regulate my breath. "Bigger things lie within the breath," he said. "All the Siddhas passed the test through breath control. Lord Vinayagar and Gautama Buddha, who were exponents of this art, excelled in it. By gaining control over the breath, one can extend his life span and defeat death. All the tapasi attained success in their tapas or tavam through control of the breath. I am sharing the truth of our practice and achievements with you," he concluded. 

8.12.2008 

Agathiyar threw more surprises at me. He said, "Through the Breath or Vaasi practice, the Suzhumunai and the top (of head) too have opened. We shall draw the seven veils and have you see the Jothi. You shall become complete in all aspects. We will create a way for you to attain the Soruba state." All this was news to me. I just did not know what was being said by Agathiyar. 

27.8.2009 

Agathiyar gives further practice called Tava Suksmam to carry out for two Mandalas (48 x 2). He dictated, "Taking in the breath, stay focused on the chakras above and below the nose. Do this twice a day. It would strengthen the state of Gnana. It shall bring on clarity, power to the thoughts, and access to the Prapanjam." I was surprised to know that there were chakras too in the spots Agathiyar said. He reiterates again that these are practices they did and are sharing with us. 

26.12.2009 

Again, Agathiyar surprised me, saying I was on the fringe of attaining Gnanam and that the top has opened. He said, "The third eye shall shine. I wanted to give you a treasure." He said that Tavayogi shall grant it. I was clueless as to what he was talking about. 

In 2010, Tavayogi requested that we follow in his footsteps in conducting a Yagam too. The year 2010 was also special for another reason. A replica of Agathiyar at Agasthiyampalli was commissioned and beautifully crafted by Varadaraj of the Bronze Creative (BC) in Swamimalai, India. The statue was ordered through the internet in February of 2009. Varadaraj of BC made a visit to Agasthiyampalli, Vedaranyam, to photograph the granite statue of Agathiyar and subsequently started working on the wax mold. The statue was cast and completed in early December and was flown to Malaysia in time for the Jayanthi on 3rd January 2010.

2.1.2010

Agathiyar says that by chanting his name, one shall gain the merits and grace he had gained. 

31.1.2010

He told me he would pass on his palm leaves or Nadi Nool someday to be worshipped. I shall come to read it too, he added. It was both a present and a gift from him.

3.4.2010

Agathiyar encouraged me to carry on all the practices given. 

12.7.2010

He says that I saw Sadashiva. This was news to me, too. Again, I had no idea what he was speaking about. He asks that I spread his fame.

Though the Siddhas spoke about the mystical changes that were apparently taking place within me and in my chakras, sadly, I was unaware of these changes in me. Life went on as usual for me. Also, I guess since I had a job and a family, they did not want to disrupt my life in any manner. Hence, when some can describe in detail the dramatic and cinematic changes within them after the awakening of the Kundalini, I had nothing similar to say or share. My awakening was, I guess, contained and monitored by Agathiyar.

9.8.2010

He pointed out that the tapas had generated extreme heat within what he calls Gnana Kanal. He mentioned that the Gnana Kanal was pretty profound then. 

17.10.2010

He said that what is generally achieved through Hathayoga is now possible through Tapas and Puja. But he pointed out that my health was declining. He asked me to see a Siddha physician who can bring it back to its former state. He assured me that I shall recover well with his grace.

16.1.2011

Agathiyar continued to monitor my situation and called me in for further readings, where he assured me that all shall be fine. Agathiyar asked me to continue taking the prescription for another half a mandalam.

19.4.2011

I received his Moola Mantra through the Nadi that was a panacea for all curses, sins, diseases, and arrogance. I began to chant it.

Then the fateful day arrived when, as I forcefully cleared my throat during my morning bath, as always, to throw out the sputum, I felt a pull and tug in my lower back, followed by an excruciating pain in my left buttock that went right down my right leg to my toes. It made me squat down in pain, where I was forced to remain for some time. Finally, I had to crawl out of the bathroom. The pain aggravated each day. Initially, I could not walk for a long distance or for a long time. I had to look for a place to rest my feet and aching back. Then I could not sit for long either. Sitting was itself painful. Then the pain woke me up in my sleep. What was to be a restful sleep turned into a nightmare as I would wake up with bodily pains. I had to crawl out of bed. Driving was painful too, as I had to engage the clutch transmission as I shuttled between work and home. Seeking the late Dr. Krishnan, a Siddha physician and friend, for advice, he checked three aspects of my health as probable causes or reasons. He struck the first two off but had me go for an X-ray to determine the third. As I did not have pain while urinating, and neither did I have blood in my urine, he diagnosed that I had no stone in me. As my feet were not swollen, my kidneys were fine. He asked me to take an X-ray to determine if I had slip disc, though. I headed for the nearest government clinic. The X-ray showed nothing wrong with my back and backbone. But they referred me to the Orthopedic Specialist at the general hospital for a second opinion. She gave me a clean slate too. I returned to the clinic for several sessions of physiotherapy that began on 12.5.2011. 

Meanwhile, I called up Ramesh for a Nadi reading.

9.8.2011

Agathiyar specifically and clearly addressed my issue.

26.11. 2011

Agathiyar spelled out the reasons and the solution in the form of several Siddha herbs and prayers. He classified my agony as Paareesa Peedai, which was external and superficial, existing or occurring at or on the surface and appearing to be true or real. He said that the Muladhara chakra had attained intense heat, resulting in my condition that subsequently led to my immobility. The three doshas too have gone haywire. He asked me to consume the herbs Amalaki and Triphala. He asked that I stop all forms of tapas for the time being and pray to the Sun God and Lord Murugan to bring total relief. 

On 15.2.2012, the physiotherapist surprised me by asking me to carry out the exercises she had taught me and that I had put into practice the past seven months, before her. As I knelt on the stretcher to move into position to begin to raise my right leg behind me and stretch my back, I felt something like a latch having released, a dam having burst, a knot untied or loosened, something giving way. It brought instantaneous relief and joy to the extent that I shouted out and cried in joy. The excruciating pain left instantaneously, both magically and mysteriously, at that moment, just as it had come upon me without warning back then. 

21.9.2014

Agathiyar repeated again that the Suzhimunai was opened. He said that the chakras shall function perfectly. 

28.8.2015

Agathiyar mentioned further changes that have taken place within me. He said that his Jothi had expanded in me, and the Suzhimunai had opened, though I did not sense any changes. 

I retired in 2016 with the blessings of Agathiyar. I had all the time for Agathiyar. My back pain reappeared after four years, but it was very much milder this time around. A couple who had just returned from Dhanvanthri's temple in India dropped in at my home promptly, bringing over his sacred prasad. I was surprised by the arrival of Dhanvanthri through a devotee to treat my back pain. Dhanvanthri used his sacred ash to rub it into my back and massaged me. He also told me to heat up some sesame oil, apply it, and sleep on level ground for the next few days. The pain eventually subsided, and one fine day it was gone just as it had come on. 

18.11.2017

Agathiyar in the Nadi says I was instrumental in some way towards the change others went through. He wanted me to stay low and out of sight.

7.10.2018

Agathiyar in the Nadi said that my breath had "intertwined" in my sleep, unknown to me, and lay dormant. Though I could not understand what he said, this resulted in a recurrence of the dreaded back pain, coming back with the same intensity as originally felt in 2011, after a sneeze came on while crossing a street. 

8.10.2018

Lord Murugan came to heal me through a devotee and, simultaneously, in the Nadi, in real-time. He brought me the bad news, too. He told me my body was crumbling. My spine and hips were currently tense. The gel at these joints had dried up. This is the reason for the acute pain I was having. With some treatment done earlier, a quarter of the issue was overcome. Lord Muruga then revealed the reason I had to go through the suffering. It was to have me sit in one place and do my Tapas. But neither he nor Agathiyar abandoned me. 

5.9.2019 

After Agathiyar had me spend my days in solitude and my nights sleeping in the prayer room, and having me carry out certain regimes and practices, he came to reveal the reason I fell and lay in front of my bathroom door, slithering in pain like a beaten snake. He described the slithering as a sign of Kundalini moving. Agathiyar said the Kundalini had arisen and had turned up the heat and fire within as well. The heat of the austerities, or Tava Kanal, coupled with the awakened Muladhara Chakra, which triggered the arousal of the Kundalini, began to stir and move away from its seat. But still, I was unaware and could not join the dots until Agathiyar revealed. It was both painful and blissful. He acknowledged that it was the bliss of bliss. He mentioned further that the third eye and the crown had opened, and as a result of the three Malas or impurities being eradicated, I was partaking in the ambrosia nonstop within. I was both baffled and did not understand what he was saying. 

That would be my last Nadi reading, as the pandemic came on, the Nadi readers headed back home. In a timely manner, he brought the shutters down on AVM towards the end of 2019. Beyond this, Agathiyar came through devotees and continued to guide me on this journey of internal transformation. The deities Sakti and Karuppa were regulars too. 

30.1.2020

Agathiyar said, I had stagnated. He said further,  "All this while you saw to your needs in this world. Reduce your involvement in outside activities. Now you shall undertake an internal journey. Currently, your breath is at the Svadhishthana. It is about time it opened up. This is the right time to start this practice. Sit before me and meditate. During this moment, carry out the cleansing breath as taught by your guru. Just the important ones. You shall sense a coolness within. Remain silent in these moments. Focus on your breath. Your breath shall touch the Suzhimunai and swirl. Travel along your seven chakras. That journey shall awaken your chakras. After traversing these chakras, when it touches the seventh, you shall know your purpose here. These practices shall take you further. I shall relate what needs to be done to realize your purpose in coming here. You cannot possibly break the shackle alone. Hence, follow the practices that I am to give you." 

He surprised me by asking me to restart the Vaasi, or breathing practice, which I learned from Tavayogi that he had asked me to discontinue at the peak of my back pain back then in 2011. The Siddha shall stop us and start us again on any practice at the right moment. 

He told me that I shall come to know what is right and what went wrong. Both shall be lessons I learn. He reminded me that whatever is initiated immediately and promptly shall bring success. 

The visitations and revelations through devotees continued, coming on 30.1. 2020, 8.2.2020, 21.2.2020, 8.3.2020, and 14.3.2020, before Malaysia saw a full lockdown on 18 March 2020. 

But the messages from Goddess Ma, Lord Siva, Bhogar, Dhanvantri, Yogi Ramsuratkumar, and Tavayogi kept coming in throughout this period.

14.5.2020.

Ramalinga Adigal, coming through a devotee, asked me, "Have you understood the purpose of asking to go within? Does your experience change within your body? This is only the start. You shall lay the stepping stones and progress at your pace. Effort is needed. What you are doing currently is wonderful. Continue with it. Watching your breath is right. You are changing the flow correctly. Continue with it. You are on the first step. Prana moving in you is itself Pranava Degam. When you sense the Pranavam, you shall question yourself whether the Pranam is traveling in you or vice versa, or if you are hitching on it and traveling in it. When you reach that state, you shall have the answer. That moment shall be one of extreme bliss. Go deep within this bliss. There is more. There is much to learn. You have my blessings. I shall travel with you till you reach the destination. I accompany those who go deep within. Follow your breath. Place the effort, and you shall reach the destination."

29.6.2020

Ramalinga Adigal surprised me by saying, "The lock to the hidden door between your eyebrows is open now." I had no idea what it was all about. 

They came on 4.7.2020, 5.7.2020, 9.7.2020, 10.7.2020, 20.7.2020, 1.8.2020, 13.8.2020, 19.8.2020, 

22.8.2020

Ramalinga Adigal tells me, "Use your breath to fan the Jothi. It shall travel through Sushumna and touch Ajna. Then the Jothi is seen. Carry out Nadi Sudhi to raise the Prana. Now it does not move in both nostrils. When it travels in both nostrils, you shall then rest in perfection or Sudha Paripuranam. Dhyana will be yours then. You are one with the Prana. Pay attention to it. The changes in you are but discharges. It shall leave your body. Do not worry. What you are doing is tavam." 

Then Agathiyar came bringing me the joyful news that "Supramania Swami was the guru who led you to the path of worship of the guru. He taught you guru bhakti, or devotion to the guru. You received the merits from his tapas. Tavayogi, too, in his light form, is trying to bring salvation to you. He is traveling with you. You traveled in his way and followed his teachings. You spread his fame and helped him attain the state of Jothi. He who is currently with you shall continue to travel with you."

He then consoles me. "The noise around your neighborhood, although an obstacle, is Gnanam. Be patient. Through your effort, you shall conquer your senses. Till then, these shall trouble you." 

He cautions me. "Let go of your anger; otherwise, you shall not attain Gnanam because your anger in touching the chakras will weaken them. When in anger, the blood shall intercept and change the motion of these chakras. When its motion changes, the strength of your breath will diminish. Whatever your troubles, leave them to me. Just carry out the breathing practices. Nothing else is necessary. When you reach the said state, an energy or Sakti shall enter you. That is Suzhimunai." 

They came again on 1.9.2020 and 29.10.2020. 

19.11.2020

Agathiyar told those gathered around that "He (I) shall share his (my) experiences." 

They came on 30.11.2020 and 10.12.2020, 

12.12.2020

Agathiyar tells those gathered, "Read his (my) writings. These are my (Agathiyar) thoughts. In the coming days, I shall speak a lot about the Atma."

He gave me the courage to pursue the journey over rough terrain, telling me that "If going within is difficult, think of it as a practice for you. Going within will bring you to merge with the Prapanjam. There is no easy way. What you go through is very much easier and milder than what I went through."

And they came and conquered us again on 14.12.2020. 

The visitations continued into 2021 too. 

8.1.2021, 9.1.2021, 26.2.2021, 8.3.2021, 11.3.2021, 16.3.2021, 28.3.2021, 3.4.2021, 17.4.2021, 26.4.2021, 6.5.2021, 15.5.2021, and 22.5.2021. I soon lost count of the moments they came and delivered their messages. These visitations were interspersed with Nadi readings as the Nadi readings returned after the pandemic. This was the period when Agathiyar filled us with Spiritual knowledge or Gnanam, too. 

23.12.2021

It was Agathiyar's Jayanthi; we lit the homam and did abhisegam to Agathiyar's statue. While Mahin was dressing him up, I picked up Ramalinga Adigal's "Agaval" and began to recite it, knowing pretty well that the 1596 verses would take some 2 hours to recite, as I have been reading the Agaval solo and with my family numerous times. Though we never could comprehend it, we enjoyed the melody. That day, I could only recite until verse 305, when strong emotions came over me, and I began to sob. I struggled to continue further, but could not go beyond verse 336. I could feel the words reverberate in me, causing me to recall similar experiences. I stopped singing. But to our amazement, Ramalinga Adigal came through a devotee and picked up from where I stopped. His words were not from the original "Arutpa" but were coined in real time. As he took us by surprise, we could only record the later part of his song. 

27.6.2022

Agathiyar revealed that the herbal preparation Agathiyar Kuzhambu, which I took, did help in expelling the excesses in the three doshas. But there was more that would be expelled in due time. 

In July of 2022, Agathiyar told me, "Currently, your Muladhara and Svadhisthana are open. At present, your breath is at the pond (lake). The time of its opening is near. Now is the right time to start your practice. This would open up the chakra completely."

The day that Agathiyar mentioned that my breath shall touch the Suzhimunai and swirl, travel along my chakras and awaken them before finally touching the seventh, came over two consecutive days on Monday, the 22nd, and Tuesday, the 23rd August 2022. 

22.8.2022 

The energy that had pooled and stagnated in the Svadhishthana as a result of the pull of the external world was released on Monday, 22.8.2022, shortly after I woke up at 6.40am. As I stretched myself in bed, I felt an "explosion of energy" in my belly. It was akin to a pull and a tug of a fine nerve or thread right below the navel. It brought on a swirling sensation followed by a chill all over. My whole body became numb right to the tips of my fingers and toes. Soon I felt nauseous and had the urge to urinate. Rising from bed, I collapsed twice on the way to the toilet, picking myself up each time. Back from the toilet, all was fine. A blissful feeling came over me. I was alone then, while my daughter was in her room asleep, unaware of what was taking place. Narrating this to my daughter later that day, she called up her mother, who returned home shortly from our grandchildren's home. 

The tug I came to see as a divine act that came about through divine grace, for Ramalinga Adigal had mentioned it earlier on 14.5.2020. He had said, "When you reach my state, energy will come within you without your knowledge. That is Suzhimunai." 

23.8.2022

The next day, Tuesday 23 August 2022, I woke up at 7.20am to go to the loo, but I could not pee. I collapsed again. I picked myself up and climbed onto the bed as my wife watched silently. She had been told by Agathiyar to only watch many years ago. My body became numb from the shoulders down. I lay like a dead log on my bed. Although I could not move even an inch of my torso, right from my neck down, I was able to see, hear, and talk, and was fully conscious and aware of what was happening to me. I described what I felt to my wife, who was sitting at the bed's edge. I had no fear or anxiety. I asked myself if this was what a dead body would feel like. Was I given an insight into what death would be? I asked her to bring the peacock feather and brush my body, as did Lord Muruga, coming through a devotee, at the height of another round of back pain in 2018. Soon, the experience went away.

Agathiyar, speaking about the transformation taking place in old age, consoled and assured me that "The water that ponded over time has been discharged. Having the chakras activated in this age has its consequences for the body. As the heat of the Tapas increases, the quantity of blood is affected, which shall lead to cramps, which shall then result in problems in the discharge of urine and faeces. Take the necessary medicines. Do not worry. Do not be afraid of death. It is but another door to another journey. One who invites death is a Siddha."

Just as Agathiyar had said earlier on 30.1.2020 that my breath had stagnated at the Svadhisthana, and it was about time it opened up and it travelled along the seven Chakras, where the journey shall awaken these Chakras, the awakened energy was practically pulled from its lower regions by a magnetic force to its summit in the crown over the next few days. I guess this is what Agathiyar meant when he said I shall feel a magnetic wave arise. The swirling sensation felt for several weeks in the abdomen just below my navel was regularly felt in the crown of my head, but with a lesser intensity. It seemed more like a flowering of petals now and was blissful. The chillness and swirling that was akin to a flowering went on irrespective of my daily activities these days. It was more intense each time I brought my attention to it. He said that after traversing the Chakras and the Kundalini touches the seventh, I shall know my purpose here. Following the flowering in the crown that went on without my effort, participation, or action, I asked Agathiyar what I should do further. He told me that they shall do their work and that there was nothing that I needed to do further. Just as Tavayogi told me, our efforts are only until we reach Svadhisthana, and the guru shall lead us on from there; all my efforts ended that day. 

Agathiyar continued on the changes to be expected: "You shall witness many changes taking place within you. Do not fear. Due to the activation of the chakras, your body shall emit a foul smell. You shall have constipation. You shall urinate often. The Agathiyar Kuzhambu you took did help in expelling the three Dosas. But there still is. It shall be expelled in due time." He went on to ask me to prepare a concoction and reminded me that it was not to be shared with others. "Carry out the said practice. Take lots of warm water. " 

When I asked him for an easier approach, Agathiyar told me that there is no easier way to attain or merge with the breath, the sensation, the vibration, the magnetism, the Prapanjam, and the Jothi. With a little effort from us, the Siddhas shall aid us further. Then the energies will do the rest. Agathiyar surprises me by saying that my gurus should have come to my assistance. But as they are engaged in his work, they had asked Agathiyar to come to our need. 

As it worried my wife and me, Agathiyar asked me to go for a Medical checkup. He treated me too by dipping my hands into a bowl of lukewarm water to the accompaniment of my family chanting the Arutperunjothi mantra. He ran his hands along my back and spine, placed his hands on my head, and applied the sacred ash over my body. 

The doctor gave me a clean sheet. Agathiyar removed the fear in us, though both he and Ramalinga Adigal had told us not to fear on numerous occasions. Though I knew a cleansing process was going on within, I needed assurance that it was not a medical problem or problems that crop up with old age. The Siddhas never abandon us in times of need.

He revealed that "There is much I need to carry out through you. Enough of my praise. Write about your bodily experiences. Let your writings be about the changes taking place in your body. Let your readers know the changes that take place in the body if they come to worship the light and seek to merge with it. My wisdom shall be your experience. Experience first, and I shall clarify the experiences later. Experience is knowledge to you. Nothing is beyond experience."

And so I came to share what took place within me. 

True to what he had said, for several weeks I had the wind travel in my abdomen, causing pain in my groin and testicles. The urine and motion were smelly. I asked myself if my body was decaying within. Even before this, there were traces of blood in the sputum. I had piles. I had boils appear. I understood it to be the result of excessive heat in me due to my practices. And I understood it to be a cleansing process going on within.

To the handful of his devotees who came back after the pandemic, he asked, "Get those who keep coming over to AVM to sit in meditation, too. When their external thoughts leave them, Gnanam shall dawn on them too, and they shall take up the path of Gnanam." He answered my yearning to pull the shutters down on AVM a second time and go into oblivion. "You need not go into solitude now. You need to share many things with others. I shall tell you when the right time is to do so."

16.12.2024

Agathiyar questioned me on my fears, telling me that death was but another door to another journey. He asked me why I was afraid of death and consoled me, saying that it was yet another door to another journey. "How can a Siddha harbor this fear?" he asked. He asked me to recall Bhogar's answers to him as to what Bhogar knew. I repeated Bhogar's answers to Agathiyar in the way that he only knew Agathiyar and nothing else. As I recounted the humility of Bhogar, a full-fledged Siddha who mastered many arts and sciences, Agathiyar revealed that I, too, needed to drop the Ego that I had become identified with. He asked me how long I wanted to remain as Shanmugam Avadaiyappa. I needed to drop this identity that was holding me back, causing a separateness between me and others and everything else. He revealed that he was in this Oneness. 

He has brought us to Bhagawan Ramana's teachings. Ramana never initiated anyone, as he saw everyone as himself. I guess this is the reason that Agathiyar reversed his initial offer of making me a guru and instead offered to make me a Siddha. To enter this Oneness, I needed to observe Maunam, or Silence. Finally, hugging me, Agathiyar whispered in my ear that he was this Silence. He reminded me of Lord Dhakshanamurthy's last act to uplift his four students to become on par with him. When the Lord chose to remain silent, not taking on and answering any further questions henceforth, all his students became enlightened the very next moment. 

Hence, he revealed why he kept silent and never came to us since 22 September. Though he did not appear before us, he was with us, he said. In saying thus, he told me to carry out whatever needs to be done, and he shall endorse it, bringing me away from my habit of waiting to be told what to do or securing his approval on all matters.

31.12.2024

I was practically living alone. In those hours of loneliness, I had only my thoughts to accompany me. Memories of the past dropped in, visiting me at times. Then, a sudden, unfounded fear gripped me, and I would begin to pace the floor of my home. This sudden, unknown fear came on so intensely that I could not sleep. I was awake in these hours, facing my own fears. There was no one I could call up and hold a conversation in these wee hours of the night and early mornings. Facing the fear of the unknown is facing death. Just as losing a limb, an eye, or hearing, etc scares the wits out of me, in these moments of silence, I was left only with my Self, breath, thoughts, and memory. I came face-to-face with existence without the superficialities of life and living. Agathiyar took ownership of all the doings, creating events that sparked the perfect scenario and space for me to be alone. I wonder how he chose me to go through this transformation towards losing the body and engaging with the soul, knowing pretty much that I was a scaredy-cat? 

Agathiyar enlightens me further. "When one starts the journey of going within, the result is Gnanam. But it shall vary among people. Hence, I cannot say exactly what shall take place. All this while, you have gained external knowledge or Ulaga Gnana. Now you shall gain Gnana that is going to serve you.  When you realize yourself completely and realize that everything around you is impermanent, you shall stand apart from it all. That is to be motionless in all manner, or Summa Eruppathu. To arrive at that state, increase your Soul Power or gain Atma Balam. 

"The soul which has realized God through divine knowledge, Pati Jnanam, after it had renounced the worlds as changing or Asat, is called Jivan Mukta." (Source: "Metaphysics of Saiva Siddhantam - Sivagnana Boodham by Thiruvilankar Canagarayar, 1961)