IT IS GOD'S WILL 3

After coming to know him, Agathiyar asked that I know the Atma and Sivam too recently. I came to know this from a friend and a reader of this blog who explained it all clearly. I have shared it in my earlier posts https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2026/05/it-is-gods-will-2.html. 

Agathiyar listed the phases of the journey towards arriving at the state of Light, namely the impure body, or Asudha degam, will become pure, or Sudha degam, and become the body of Prana, or Pranava degam, and eventually the body of Light, or Oli degam, in coming through a Nadi reading in 2025, read by Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar on her visit to AVM. He assured me that he was there for me to see it through. For this purpose, he had asked that I know the Tattwas and Gunas. He pointed me to Tavayogi's teachings.

அசுத்த தேகம் சுத்த தேகமாகி பிரணவ தேகமாகி ஒளி தேகமாகும் வித்தையே ஞானம். அதற்குத் தியானத்தில்  வாசியைக் கவனி. மெல்ல மெல்ல அட்டமா சித்துக்கள் உந்தனுக்கு கூடும் தானே. மகனே, அதற்கு முன் உடல் கூறு தத்துவங்களை நீ அறிய வேண்டும். லோக ராசு  குருவாக உந்தனுக்கு செப்பி உள்ளான் தானே. 

Tavayogi had written in his "Andamum Pindamum" that the Udal or body that came together as a result of the combination of the five Buthas shall return to the original five. In that event, the Uyir or Breath shall merge with the Atma or Soul, becoming Light and return to Agathiyar. 

உடல் என்பது பஞ்ச பூதங்களில் உரு பெற்று மீண்டும் பஞ்ச பூதங்களிடம் சென்று விட்டால் உயிராகியது ஆன்மா வோடு கலந்து ஜோதிநிலையில் எம்மை வந்து அடையும். உடல் கூறு தத்துவமும் இதையே உமக்கு உணர்த்தும். 

My reader friend has come to my aid again. He wrote the following. 

"AnDavan aaTchiyil adharmamey illai"

There is no Adharma in God's Governance

A study through the 36 Tattwas and Saiva Siddhantam

The Question is the Teaching

Before answering this question, it is worth pausing to honour it. This is not a casual or superficial question. It is the question of a sincere seeker who has sat long enough with the sacred texts to feel a genuine tension and who has the intellectual honesty to name it rather than smooth it over. The sacred texts speak constantly of Dharma and Adharma, of right action and wrong action, of the path that leads toward liberation and the path that leads deeper into bondage. And yet here is a verse singing with full-throated confidence that in Andavan's governance, in Shiva's own administration of this cosmos, there is no Adharma at all.

How can both be true?

The answer, when seen through the architecture of the 36 Tattwas of Saiva Siddhantam, is not only coherent but luminous. It reveals that both statements are entirely true, but they are spoken from different levels of reality, addressing different aspects of the soul's journey. To understand why, we must enter the Tattwa structure from the bottom and climb.

The Level of the Pasu — Where Dharma and Adharma are Real

The bound soul, the Pasu, currently operates within the 24 Ashuddha Tattwas. This is the level of Prakriti Maya: the gross and subtle body, the senses, the mind, the ego, the five elements. At this level, the Pasu is governed by the three Gunas — Sattwa, Rajas, and Tamas — whose interplay determines the quality of every thought, word, and action.

Here, Dharma and Adharma are not abstractions. They are lived realities with immediate consequences. The Karmendriyas — the five organs of action (speech, hands, feet, and the organs of elimination and procreation, Tattwas 31 to 35) — generate karma with every movement. When directed by a purified Buddhi (Tattwa 17) and a Sattvic Manas (Tattwa 19), these organs produce Dharmic action: action that advances the soul's liberation, that fills the Chitta (Tattwa 20) with divine impressions, and that progressively weakens the grip of the Anava Mala. When driven by Rajasic or Tamasic Ahankara (Tattwa 18), these same organs produce Adharmic action: action that deepens the soul's entanglement, that fills the Chitta with further Vasanas of craving and aversion, and that extends the cycle of rebirth.

The Jnanendriyas — the five sense organs (Tattwas 26 to 30) — similarly operate within this Dharma and Adharma framework. What the eye chooses to rest upon, what the ear chooses to hear, what the tongue chooses to speak — all of these are fields of Dharmic and Adharmic choice. The entire prescriptive structure of Saiva Siddhantam's ethical teaching — Yama, Niyama, the regulation of diet, relationship, speech, and sensory engagement — operates precisely at this level. It is directed at the Pasu navigating the 24 Ashuddha Tattwas.

The sacred texts are therefore entirely right to speak of Dharma and Adharma, to prescribe one and warn against the other. This is not merely religious morality; it is the precise technical instruction for a soul that is operating within the Guna field of Prakriti Maya. To dismiss this instruction as unnecessary because everything is Shiva anyway is one of the most dangerous spiritual errors a seeker can make — and Saiva Siddhantam is unambiguous in rejecting it.

The Pasu must walk the path of Dharma. There is no shortcut through spiritual philosophy.

The Level of Niyati and Kaala — Where Adharma is Redeemed

Moving upward through the Tattwa structure, we enter the seven Shuddhashuddha Tattwas — the level of Asuddha Maya, where the soul is being prepared and equipped for embodied experience. Two Tattwas at this level are directly relevant to our question: Kaala (Tattwa 10) and Niyati (Tattwa 11).

Kaala Tattwa is the principle of Time — the cosmic framework within which karma ripens. Niyati Tattwa is the principle of cosmic ordering — the force that ensures each soul's karmic fruits return to that soul specifically, at the right time, in the right circumstances, for the right evolutionary purpose. Together, these two Tattwas constitute what the tradition describes with great precision as Shiva's administrative wisdom — the divine module building by which each soul's birth is assigned a specific syllabus of experiences drawn from its accumulated karma.

Now here is the crucial insight these two Tattwas reveal: even what the Pasu performed as Adharma does not escape the redemptive administration of Niyati and Kaala.

An Adharmic act — a lie spoken, a harm inflicted, a betrayal enacted — generates a karmic impression in the Chitta. This impression, left unresolved, would deepen the soul's obscuration and extend its bondage. But Niyati Tattwa ensures that this very impression is eventually brought back to the soul in the form of a corresponding experience — not as punishment for its own sake, but as the precise circumstance needed for the soul to feel, understand, and release what it once inflicted. The person who was deceived becomes, in a subsequent life, the teacher of honesty. The wound that was given becomes the wound that is received and healed. And through this cycle — governed with absolute precision by Niyati and Kaala — even the Adharmic acts of the Pasu are being used by Shiva's governance in service of the soul's ultimate liberation.

This is what Thirumoolar means when he speaks of Shiva as Kaalakaala — He who is the time of Time, the transcendence of temporality. Shiva does not suffer under the governance of time; He is its author. And as its author, He ensures that no moment, no action, no consequence — however dark — falls outside the arc of His redemptive purpose.

From the level of Niyati and Kaala, therefore, what the Pasu experiences as the painful consequences of Adharma is revealed to be something else entirely: it is the curriculum of compassion, the module of maturation, the precise instrument by which Shiva is turning even the soul's darkest movements into steps on the homeward path.

At this level, Adharma is not annulled. It is redeemed.

The Level of Maya Tattwa — Where the Impossible is Made Possible

At Tattwa 6, Maya itself — the cosmic creative matrix — reveals another dimension of this truth. The tradition describes Maya with a phrase of extraordinary precision: Agatitha Gatana Patiyasi — the super specialist in combining things that are impossible to combine.

What does Maya combine that seems impossible? Among other things, it combines the soul's freedom with the soul's bondage in such a way that the bondage itself becomes the instrument of freedom. This is the deepest paradox of Saiva Siddhantam: the very Pasam — the bonds of Anavam, Karma, and Maya — that obscure the soul from Shiva are simultaneously the curriculum through which the soul grows capable of receiving Shiva's grace.

The Adharmic actions of the Pasu — which generate binding karma and deepen the Pasam — are held within Maya's creative administration in such a way that they too, over the vast arc of multiple lives, contribute to the soul's exhaustion of desire, its disillusionment with the transient, and its eventual turning toward the Permanent. Maya is the lamp that provides limited light in the night of spiritual ignorance — not the light of liberation, but enough light to keep the soul moving until the dawn arrives.

A soul that has never suffered the consequences of its own Adharmic actions would never develop the discernment (Viveka) to distinguish Dharma from Adharma in the first place. The pain of Adharma's fruits is itself a teaching — perhaps the most visceral and unforgettable teaching available within the 24 Ashuddha Tattwas. And it is Maya, in collaboration with Niyati and Kaala, that ensures this teaching reaches the soul in precisely the form it needs.

At this level, Maya reveals that even Adharma serves Dharma's ultimate purpose — the soul's liberation.

The Level of the Suddha Tattwas — Where Only Love Governs

Now we arrive at the summit — the five Suddha Tattwas, the level of Shiva's own nature — and it is from this level that the verse speaks: AnDavan aaTchiyil adharmamey illai.

At the level of Shiva Tattwa (Tattwa 1) and Shakthi Tattwa (Tattwa 2), there is only Para Nada and Para Bindu — pure consciousness and pure power, preceded by Will, and preceding Will, by Karunai — Love. The cosmological key the tradition reveals is this: Love gives rise to Will. Will gives rise to Intelligence. Intelligence gives rise to Creation. Creation does not arise from judgment. It does not arise from a divine preference for certain souls over others. It arises from Love — unconditional, boundless, and without remainder.

At the level of Sadasiva Tattwa (Tattwa 3), Shiva's Jnana and Kriya Shakthi operate in equal measure in the Bhoga state — the state of experience. Here, the divine awareness holds the entire cosmos as experience without being stained by any part of it. There is no Adharma at this level because at this level there is no division — no subject-object separation that would make it possible for one thing to violate another.

At the level of Iswara Tattwa (Tattwa 4), Shiva's Adhikara — His divine authority — governs the cosmos with the precision of Sanidhana, His pure Presence. Order does not come from Iswara Tattwa through enforcement or punishment. It comes through Presence itself, the way a teacher's entry into a classroom establishes order without a word spoken. At this level of governance, there is no reaction to Adharma — there is only the steady, unwavering presence of the divine that neither condemns nor abandons, but simply and compassionately continues to hold the space of liberation open for every soul.

At the level of Suddha Vidya Tattwa (Tattwa 5), Aham and Idam — self-awareness and world awareness — are in perfect balance. The cosmic functions of creation, preservation, and dissolution operate here. Even what appears from below as destruction — as loss, as endings, as what the Pasu calls calamity — is at this level a function of Rudra's compassionate dissolution, clearing the field for new growth, new possibility, new karmic opportunity.

From the Suddha Tattwa level, Shiva's governance is seen in its totality — and in that totality, every movement of every soul, including every Adharmic action and its consequence, is held within an unbroken arc of love whose single destination is liberation.

This is what the verse is singing. This is what AnDavan aaTchiyil adharmamey illai means.

Not that Adharma does not exist in the experience of the Pasu. It does — painfully and consequentially. But in the governance of Andavan — in Shiva's own administration from the level of the Suddha Tattwas — there is no Adharma, because there is nothing that falls outside His grace. There is no soul He has abandoned. There is no action whose consequence He has not already incorporated into the redemptive curriculum of Niyati and Kaala. There is no darkness that His light has not already surrounded.

The sun does not follow the rule "illuminate the day." It simply shines. Darkness is not the sun's failure — it is the temporary condition of a surface turned away from the light. So too, Adharma is not a failure of Shiva's governance. It is the temporary condition of a soul turned away from its own divine nature — a turning that Shiva, in His boundless patience, is already in the process of gently, persistently, lovingly reversing.

Sivaayanama

Anbe Shivam

Wanting to give credit to him by mentioning his name, he instead wrote the following.

Credits:

To Maha Siddhar Thirumoolar and through the radiant lineage of the blessed Nayanmars, the Samaya Kuravars, the Santhana Kuravars, and the venerable Acharyas of Saiva Siddhantam. Should any merit be found in these words, the credit belongs wholly to them. Any faults are mine alone.

MY GURU 2

In stripping me of all my readings, worship, and practices for some 14 years beginning in 1998, in removing all the obstacles in my way beginning in 2001, in having me drop whatever little I held on to in 2005, the Siddhas came to fill me in with their rituals, practice and wisdom. I moved from Sariyai to Kriyai, Yogam, and Gnanam. In bringing even these rituals and practices to a halt in 2019, they left me naked and empty. They have brought me to a state where I can chart and set spiritual goals and see them through. But would I want to do that, adding on to the clutter that already exists in the material, religious, and spiritual?  A friend and I, in a phone conversation, both agreed, as he told me, after he realized the sad state of affairs, that there was an overdose of advice and practice. We all need to declutter, not take on more trash.

In running away from this hectic, materialistic world, we tend to be caught in another web, coming to the religious and spiritual side. More regimes, teachings, advice, practice, etc. We seem to keep on packing more and more stuff into our bag that we brought along, already filled with our past karma, desires, vasanas, wants, likes, etc. We go along picking up tools and methods, stuffing them into the bag, and struggling to carry it with us.  

I see why Agathiyar, after having given me these experiences too, asked that I drop all this luggage and weight. He has set me free. He has set my mind free. I am free to soar the skies. He does not have any tasks for me. Neither does he expect anything from me further. He just let me be. 

It reminds me of the song "Let It Be" by The Beatles.

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness, she is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
And when the broken-hearted people living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be, be
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me
Shinin' until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

(Source: Musixmatch)

It reminds us of Sadhu Om's songs, too.

I shall hold on to my friends and reader's understanding and words.

To interfere too is not wrong for 

Yet even the Pasam, in Saiva Siddhantam, is not ultimately opposed to Shiva. It is the very material through which Shiva works.

Pasu — the bound soul — experiences Dharma and Adharma as lived realities within the 36 Tattwas. 

Niyati and Kaala — Shiva’s instruments of cosmic justice and time — ensure that even the consequences of Adharma are not wasted. 

and that, 

Every stumble, every fall, every wrong turn is quietly, precisely, and compassionately being folded into the curriculum of liberation.

We shall hold to the belief that God loves us.

That even their own failures — their own moments of Adharma, their own darkest hours — were held all along within Shiva’s love, and were never, not for a single moment, outside His grace. 

In Love’s governance — nothing is wasted. No soul is abandoned. No darkness falls outside the reach of His light.

They break us, and piece it all together. 

..the sincere seeker who — having walked the path of Dharma with full sincerity, full effort, and full surrender — has arrived at a moment of deep stillness, and is now ready to receive the larger truth:

Dharma and Adharma both occur within His being — the way waves both rise and fall within the ocean, without ever disturbing the ocean’s own nature.

It is a revelation about the nature of the One who governs. And it is given — as all the deepest teachings of Saiva Siddhantam are given — not to the intellect, but to the heart that has been sufficiently broken open by sincere practice, genuine love, and the boundless grace of the Guru.

I guess I shall keep watching and say nothing, for all is fine and well, though we might think otherwise and be moved to interfere. Let those who see the need to move or interfere do so. It is also right. As we are told "All is Well," let us just "Let it Be".

MY GURU

Continuing Sariyai that involved home puja and temple visits, which I picked up from my family, as a bachelor, it came to an abrupt stop when Lord Siva came to save me from the onslaught of questions I had back then after seeing others suffer, at times in the hands of the deities themselves who were said to be all-loving, compasionate and kind. It did not make sense and drove me crazy. Before I went crazy, the Lord intervened. I dropped all reading, puja, and temple visits. The only moment I took up reading again was when Mr.Segaran from the office, who quit his job to become a monk at Paramahansa Yogananda's Ranchi ashram in 1994, passed Yogananda's "Autobiography of A Yogi", a painting of Lord Siva as a parting gift, and some sound advice to take up whatever new tasks at the office. 

The only moment I took up puja was when I was handed the keys to my new house in 1994, and my family and I did the puja on our own, reciting the songs I knew as a child and from my bachelor days.

The moment I stepped back into a temple was when my wife was carrying our second child, and as the 48-day Mandala Puja that followed the Kumbhabhishekam of Lord Muruga's temple in a neighboring housing scheme in 1998, we attended daily. 

Slowly but surely, Agathiyar was preparing me to come back to his fold. He had Mr.Sethu from an adjacent block dropped on me during office breaks. As we shared about music, my interest in songs that I listened to as a bachelor was revived. He gave me three cassettes of Ramalinga Adigal's Arutpa, which brought awe and wonder and made me seek the remaining songs and purchase the whole text, all six volumes of the Arutpa.

As we shared about astrology, he introduced me to Dr. Krishnan. My interest in astrology, which I had picked up as a bachelor, was revived as I made frequent visits to him. Dr.Krishnan, who was a Siddha physician too, rekindled my interest in Siddha medicine too. When I once asked if his predictions might not materialize, he answered in the affirmative, citing that if we had curses. Asking him to look into my horoscope to see if I was cursed, he told me astrology cannot determine this. Only the Siddhas could reveal. That was the first time I came to know about the Siddhas and their Nadi. As I knew no Nadi reader and as he did not point me to one, I left it at that.

In 2001, my nephew came by with a message from his Paramaguru Gopal Pillai. A transmission of the Vasudeva mantra took place. I was to chant it. This was to pave the way for me to meet my guru. True enough, R Venu Gopalan, in his book, "The Hidden Mysteries of Kundalini", in writing that "The Vishnu Granthi adds obstructions for the Sadhaka", enlightened me further on this mantra, stating that, 

"Continuous practice of meditation on this mantra helps purify the thinking process. The nadis of the heart chakra are cleansed. It balances the heart chakra. It also helps in dissolving all the past karmic deeds for a better future."

The first obstacle was cleared. With the Vishnu Granthi cleared, it paved the way for me to read my Nadi. The calling to see the Nadi came in 2002, when Muralidharan was promptly transferred back to the HQ, and shared his experience in reading the Nadi in 2000. He made an appointment with Sivabalan, who brought in the readers from India in the footsteps of his uncle after his demise.

Agathiyar, who addressed himself as my Moola Guru, addressed me in the Nadi. I came to know about karma, which answered all my questions and doubts I had as a bachelor as to why people suffer. I came to know about my past karma and curses, too. He told me these stood in my way of receiving the benefits of all my puja and yoga practice that I had carried out until then. Agathiyar gave me remedies to offset them through puja, rituals, pilgrimages, and charity. I took up worship of the Siddhas as shown by Nadi reader Sentilkumar, as he conducted the ritual Naadikku Dhanam, or a thanksgiving ritual in appreciation of the Siddhas as directed by Agathiyar in the Nadi. I brought this worship into my home armed with a painting of Agathiyar that I received from Sivabalan and the book of names of Siddhas from Sentilkumar.  Subsequently, I completed all my Parikaram or remedies the following year. 

The second obstacle was cleared. After carrying out all the remedies, I came to meet my very first guru, in physical form, Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai, on my last leg of travel in 2003. 

Just as Agathiyar had Gopal Pillai Aiya, who had gone into Samadhi, come through a devotee at the Bhagavathi Amman temple in Penang, to convey the message to my nephew and have him deliver it to me in 2001, in 2005, my neighbor, Augustine, passed me extra copies of the local Tamil daily. I saw a name that I recalled seeing in a leaflet I received from Nadi reader Sentilkumar, who was sourcing funds on behalf of one Thaaiveedu Thangarasan M.A., who was to build a temple for Agathiyar at Kallar. I took the leaflet with me to see him at the Peedham that he had come to officiate. Hence began another wonderful relationship between a seeker and a guru. The day he stepped into my home, taking up my invitation, as I saw he took up the invitations of others too, as I sat in his presence each day after work, in silence and just observing the many who came to see him, he lit a camphor and sang a couple of songs after I conveyed my wife wish for him to hold a prayer in our home. He took some food that we had prepared and prepared to leave for the Peedham. This itself was too good to be true. It was like a dream come true. Seeing him clad in kaavi or the orange robe of a monk, mendicant, and sadhu, I had wondered if he would step into a family home. But he did. What made that day special was that I had never invited any spiritual or religious person into my home until then. He had come. I was overjoyed, and in this state of mind and body, I thanked him from my heart as I sat beside him in the car, with my nephew at the wheel, sending him back to the Peedham. That is when he gave me the blow. He told me I was living in Maya. As if reading my mind, he spoke these words that I thought he was someone, and that I thought that he had something hidden in his attire. He told me that he was a nobody. He told me that he had nothing within him or on him to give. Instead, he told me to hold to Agathiyar.  I remained silent all the way to the Peedham, trying to figure out what went wrong or what I said was wrong. 

Although those words cut deep into me, wounding me, today I understand why he said that. He severed my hold on him even before it grew and flourished. He wounded my Ego. 

But I kept returning and turning up at the Peedham during his time here. He then invited me to his ashram. Agathiyar, too, in another Nadi reading, asked that I visit his ashram. So I returned to India a couple of months after his departure to Kallar. While there, he broke my hold on gems, seeing me wear a gem-studded gold ring on my finger. He had me drop my hold on amulets, as I was wearing the Rasamani or solidified mercury bead, on me. He had me drop any thought of wearing the Rudraksha bead even before it germinated in me. He left me naked before Agathiyar, having me drop all the accessories I had on me. In bringing me to visit heads of ashrams, temples, and other gurus, he severed my hold on other gurus too, leaving me with only Agathiyar. I am glad he did this. 

So when Kumarswamy Aiya, patron of Agathiyar Ashram in Anuvavi, asked if I was attending events, I told him that after holding on to Agathiyar, I stopped going places. He commended me, saying the following phrase, "Hold to One, Hold Tight, and Hold Till the End." I saw it as an acknowledgement of the journey I have travelled thus far. 

THE HOLD OF A GURU

There is a saying that even if God was to give us gifts the priests might object, and just as even if the top management wants to give us a promotion, others might object to it, so too Agathiyar in revealing my Kaanda Nadi told me that karma stood in the way of me gaining the benefits and seeing the results of my efforts in Puja and Yoga back in the past. Thus, Agathiyar had me settle the past scores first, sending me on a pilgrimage both locally and to India to carry out remedies in the form of worship at specific temples, performing rituals, and giving charity. Once the score was settled, he took me under his wings and into his arms and never spoke about karma again. After calling me to their worship, traveling with him and the gurus in physical form, carrying out the rituals and practicing the Asanas and Pranayama techniques that they gave to me, having tested and broken me numerous times, they took me into their fold eventually, after 24 years. I guess there was some unfinished business deal between us that he came to see it through in this lifetime, besides the baggage of karma I brought with me. As Yogi Ramsuratkumar equates the grip of a guru to that of being in the jaws of a King cobra, there is no escape now. I guess this is the reason Agathiyar said that we had known each other for crores of years. It is just that he remembers, and I forgot. He has come to remind me of our bond from the past. He wants to see me become him, hence often apprehending me, telling me to check my anger, for he tells me that he has spent years on me, molding the outer and transforming the inner to rise to higher states of existence. He wants me to share this good news and this bliss with others, too, asking how it is that people still do not see the obvious changes, such as the growth of dark hair in a man of 67 years. What else should I do to convince people, he asks. 

I am grateful to him. So how do I return the favor, his kindness, compassion, and love? By giving all these back to others, just as a story is told of Agathiyar giving back all the teachings that came to him from Lord Siva, to Lord Siva himself as Guru Dakshinai, or payment towards one's guru. If Supramania Swami wanted to repay by building a temple for Lord Muruga, a desire that he had cherished for some 40 years, the Lord himself came as a stranger and halted the work before it could even take off. On the other hand, Tavayogi took up Agathiyar's directive to build a temple for him and start an ashram, which the divine saw through. I too was asked to build one for Agathiyar and later for Lord Muruga too. Since I have not moved, Lord Muruga told me that they were testing me and that my home had become their temple. An Australian of Chinese origin who was on her way to take a flight back home stopped by my home when the Grab driver, who was a devotee and friend, told her about AVM. She came out of my prayer room in tears, telling us that Agathiyar stood before her, ceiling height. Jnana Jothiamma, who was visiting us in 2013, saw the Siddhas move in and out of my prayer room while we all slept soundly. Agathiyar, in the Jeeva Nadi reading for a devotee and friend, explained the reason that the ground shook, which only Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar felt as we all sat with Tavayogi to carry out the Homam at AVM in 2016. The Siddhas had come to sit among us at Puja, revealed Agathiyar. We have had numerous similar visitations by the Siddhas and deities coming through devotees, too. 

Supramania Swami told me that one has to leave behind the merits gained from austerities, Tavam, and Tapas, too. He passed the merits gained in the forty years of his Tavam to me before he left his mortal body and went into Samadhi. I know that his selfless action cleared all the obstacles in my path and brought me to where I am today. Just as I wrote a will leaving behind my material gains and assets to my family, I too would have to leave behind whatever little merits I gained from the austerities and charity I practiced.

GO WITH THE FLOW

My friend wrote: 

The verse AnDavan aaTchiyil adharmamey illai is therefore a Pati-level statement. It is not addressed to the Pasu navigating the difficult choices of daily life. It is addressed to the sincere seeker who — having walked the path of Dharma with full sincerity, full effort, and full surrender — has arrived at a moment of deep stillness, and is now ready to receive the larger truth: That even their own failures — their own moments of Adharma, their own darkest hours — were held all along within Shiva’s love, and were never, not for a single moment, outside His grace.

I understood that one has to walk the mile and arrive at the state in good time, where all shall be revealed. Just as at ground level, one has a limited vision of things as opposed to one taking a flight, where one takes in a bigger view, the Pasu, which "navigates the difficult choices of daily life," accepting everything, and as Lao Tzu says, "Go with the Flow" is brought to eventually settle in peace, and comes to understand the Pati's or Shiva's love. I believe this is what Agathiyar, after having me come to Advaita, leaving behind all that was taught to me and that I did in Dvaita, meant in asking me to know the Atma or Pasu and come to know Sivam or Pati.

He wrote that this understanding "is given — as all the deepest teachings of Saiva Siddhantam are given — not to the intellect, but to the heart that has been sufficiently broken open by sincere practice, genuine love, and the boundless grace of the Guru."

I now understand the reason for the countless sufferings that the Pasu or souls I knew back then initially went through, seeking to know the reasons for their sufferings. I now understand the reason for the Siddhas to bring on pain and agony after taking their hands, and the countless tests that they put us through, just to break us. As Agathiyar says, he shall bring the "tough nuts to crack" to AVM to crack them open, though Agathiyar's actions might initially appear harsh and unwarranted, just as Agathiyar took the cane and apprehended me, asking me to drop my anger, for otherwise all his efforts and years of work on me would go to waste, one shall eventually come to understand that it was "genuine love and the boundless grace of the Guru" that was behind it all. Though initially I was taken aback seeing the way he handled these gentle folks, I understand now that he was working on their souls rather than their individual personalities. 

In walking the Siddha path, we watch with awe and wonder, at least that is what I do, as they paint the wall before us in a multitude of vibrant colors, dazzling us and causing us to freeze in our steps. 

After I returned from my maiden pilgrimage to India in 2003, having met my guru, Supramania Swami at Tiruvannamalai, and returned to India again in 2005, Swami brought his guru, Yogi Ramsuratkumar, from his Samadhi to sit and sing his name with us at Swami's kudil. He narrated the story of how the Yogi appeared at his door one night after his Samadhi and passed him a painting of his for a keepsake and disappeared into the night. After his Samadhi, Swami too came in a subtle form, that of the aroma of tobacco, and made me realize his presence when I had a missed call from his number. As I was seeking assurance, I had another missed call a couple of days later as I was sharing the story with my nephew over the phone. Later that weekend, Agathiyar, in a Nadi reading, spoke about a miracle that took place in my home, having me recall this happening. Indeed, if Agathiyar showed me miracles in the presence of Supramania Swami and as I traveled with Tavayogi back then, and showed more miracles after I returned from India in 2005, these miracles continue to this day. 

Agathiyar, who initially made a brief stop on his way to either Kailash or Pothigai to take a rest in my home, which later became a garden or Vanam, took on the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) after he arrived as a bronze statue and soon joined us in the rituals. Later, he took charge of these rituals, and had me teach Mahin and had Mahin teach others Yoga, bringing my home to the state of a Tapovanam. Finally, when he began to dispense Gnanam, it became Gnana Kottam. I can only stand back in awe and wonder, seeing this transition from a family home to a temple. If Lord Muruga, in a Nadi reading in 2018, told me that my home was a temple, Agathiyar, in February of this year, through a Nadi reading, spoke about the home being a Virutcham, a wish-fulfilling tree, and his Peedham, Guru Muni Peedham, and a Karunai Illam, a Home of Compassion. 

எங்களை தினமும் தொழுது தெளிவு தேற்றம் ஏகாந்த நிலை கண்ட மைந்தன் நீதான். மங்களங்கள் தன் இல்லில் நாளும் கண்டேன். மகத்துவ சக்தி கொண்ட இல்லம் அப்பா. இல்லமதில் என் ஆசி கருணை எல்லாம் ஏற்றமுடன் நீ காண வழி வகுத்தேன். இல்லமதில் எல்லை இல்லா அருளும் ஆசி ஏக்கமில்லா மாந்தர் வாழ கருணைக்  கோட்டம். கோட்டத்தில் அடைக்கலம் புகுந்தோம் நாங்கள். ஆட்சியாய் வாசம் செய்வோம் உன் இல்லில் தான். ஆனந்தம் பேரானந்தம் உந்தன் இல்லம். உன் இல்லம் என்  இல்லம். வினைப்போக்கும் குருமுனி பீடம். வித்தை எல்லாம் கற்றுவிக்கும் விருட்சம் அப்பா. அப்பனின் அன்னையின் ஆசி நிறைந்து ஆறுமுகன் கருணைப் பார்வை நிறைந்து மூப்பான நிலை அடைய வைக்கும் இல்லம். முக்திக்கும் சித்திக்கும் பஞ்சம் ஏது பஞ்சமில்லா ஞான வேட்கை தணியும் அப்பா. 

Its translation is as follows.

"Through your daily worship of the Siddhas, you have gained clarity. We saw joy and bliss prevail daily in your home. It is a powerhouse. I have provided for my blessings and compassion to all who step within your home. Your home is a compassionate home, a Karunai Illam. We have sought refuge and come to stay in your home. Joy and bliss prevail in your home. Your home is my Peedham, Guru Muni Peedham, a Virutcham, a wish-fulfilling tree, and a Karunai Illam, a Home of Compassion. All practices shall be made available here. Lord Siva, Parvathi, and Lord Muruga shall bless all. Mukti and Siddhi shall be in abundance. The hunger and thirst for Gnanam shall be relieved here."

If Supramania Swami had previously brought his guru to chant with us, Yogi Ramsuratkumar came through a devotee, bringing my guru, Supramania Swami, with him, during Sivarathri of 2024. He identified himself as the Beggar. As the songs of Sadhu Om were playing in the background, the Yogi asked to replay these songs as he kept listening to them. 

During the following year, the Sivarathri of 2025, held in Mahendran's home, Bhagawan Ramana came when these same songs were played. He identified himself and blessed us all. 

This Sivarathri of 2026, if Agathiyar came earlier, as I played Adi Sankara's "Bhaja Govindam", Lord Siva came during the last phase of the Puja, asking me to play a song for him too. He listened and asked me to wake up the kids and others who had dozed off, and blessed us all. This was later confirmed in the Nadi reading. 

"Lord Siva has come down here. We played our divine game, and Lila here. Blessed are those who stayed for Sivarathri. They saw miracles and bliss that night."

பரமசிவன் இரங்கி வந்து மகிழ்ந்த இல்லம். கொஞ்சி விளையாடியே மகிழ்ந்தோம் நாங்கள். அங்கு பல அற்புதங்கள் அதிசயங்கள் ஆனந்த நிலை அடைந்தார் சீடர் மாந்தர் பலர். ஓங்கியே சக்தி ஆசி ஓங்கி ஒளியும் ஓங்கி விதவிதமாய் போற்றி பூசை மகிழ்ச்சி. 

What can one do except stand back and watch in awe and wonder? 

Can awe be measured? Can wonder be calibrated? Dolby says it can. 

I guess after they watch me going about, pretty much occupied with enhancing my system, fine-tuning it, and taking a step back to listen, only to tinker with the settings on the amplifier again, and physically change the placement of the speakers and my seat and central listening positions, the Siddhas, gods, and gurus were inspired by the sound and asked me to play songs on my 5.1 sound system each time they come. 

On a lighter note, Sir David Attenborough holds to what Kumar Samy Aiya, patron of the Agathiyar temple in Anuvavi, told me when I replied that I was not going places after I caught hold of Agathiyar. He said to me, "Hold on to one, Hold firm, and Hold till the end." Similarly, Sir David Attenborough has spent all his life studying nature and being in their midst. A life well lived. Prapanjam, the Universe has honored him with a long, memorable life.

IT IS GOD'S WILL 2

I had written about God's Will in the last posts and mentioned that "If there is one thing that I still cannot comprehend, it is the verse in the above song that states there is no Adharma in God's governance - AnDavan aaTchiyil adharmamey illai enDru, when all the sacred texts speak about virtues, dividing them into Dharma and Adharma, and tell us to take up the former and not fall for the latter."

I posed this to a friend and reader, asking if he could enlighten me. He replied swiftly as follows.

Dear Aiyya, You are like a Guru to me. I will contemplate your question and answer humbly from whatever little I know. 

I have been sitting with this — AnDavan aaTchiyil adharmamey illai — turning it slowly in contemplation. What follows is only my humble understanding, drawn from the ultimate source. If anything here is wrong, the fault is entirely mine and mine alone — not the teachings, not the lineage, not the Guru.

Allow me to attempt this through the lens of Saiva Siddhantam and the 36 Tattwas, which I have had the grace to touch, however lightly.

Opening

The sun does not follow the rule “illuminate the day.” It simply shines. Darkness is not the sun’s failure — it is the temporary condition of a surface that has turned away from the light. So too, Adharma is not a failure of Shiva’s governance. It is the temporary condition of a soul turned away from its own divine nature — a turning that Shiva, in His boundless patience, is already in the process of gently, persistently, and lovingly reversing.

From within our human experience, Adharma is real — painfully and consequentially real. But in the governance of Andavan — viewed from the level of the Suddha Tattwas — there is no Adharma, because there is nothing that falls outside His grace. There is no soul He has abandoned. There is no action whose consequence He has not already woven into the redemptive curriculum of Niyati and Kaala. There is no darkness that His light has not already surrounded.

Mupporul — Pati, Pasu, Pasam: The Final Clarity

Saiva Siddhantam’s master-framework of Pati, Pasu, and Pasam resolves this question with perfect elegance.

Pati — Shiva — is characterised by eight absolute attributes (En Gunataan), among them Sarvagjnatva (omniscience), Ananta Sakti (boundless grace), and Ananta Anandam (infinite bliss). He is not a governor who merely reacts to events from the outside. He is the very ground from which all events arise and into which all events return. Dharma and Adharma both occur within His being — the way waves both rise and fall within the ocean, without ever disturbing the ocean’s own nature.

Pasu — the bound soul — experiences Dharma and Adharma as lived realities within the 36 Tattwas. For the Pasu, this distinction is absolutely real and absolutely consequential. The Pasu must choose Dharma. The Pasu must walk the path sincerely. The Pasu must purify the Chitta, govern the Karmendriyas, and progressively align itself with the Suddha Tattwas. None of this can be bypassed — not by philosophy, not by spiritual cleverness, not by beautiful words.

Pasam — the bonds of Anavam, Karma, and Maya — contains within it the entire field of Adharma as the Pasu experiences it. Yet even the Pasam, in Saiva Siddhantam, is not ultimately opposed to Shiva. It is the very material through which Shiva works. The Pancha Kanchukas — the five limiting sheaths — are not our enemies. They are compassionate constraints, like the walls of a school, that keep the wandering soul focused on the one curriculum that truly matters: its own liberation.

The verse AnDavan aaTchiyil adharmamey illai is therefore a Pati-level statement. It is not addressed to the Pasu navigating the difficult choices of daily life. It is addressed to the sincere seeker who — having walked the path of Dharma with full sincerity, full effort, and full surrender — has arrived at a moment of deep stillness, and is now ready to receive the larger truth:

That even their own failures — their own moments of Adharma, their own darkest hours — were held all along within Shiva’s love, and were never, not for a single moment, outside His grace.

This is not a permission to act Adharmatically. It is a revelation about the nature of the One who governs. And it is given — as all the deepest teachings of Saiva Siddhantam are given — not to the intellect, but to the heart that has been sufficiently broken open by sincere practice, genuine love, and the boundless grace of the Guru.

Closing — For Those of Limited Understanding, like Myself

Anbe Shivam.

The 36 Tattwas, from Prithvi to Para Nada, tell one unbroken story.

At the base, the Pasu struggles within Prakriti Maya — and here, Dharma and Adharma are the living operating instructions for the soul’s survival and evolution. They must be taken seriously.

In the middle, Niyati and Kaala — Shiva’s instruments of cosmic justice and time — ensure that even the consequences of Adharma are not wasted. Every stumble, every fall, every wrong turn is quietly, precisely, and compassionately being folded into the curriculum of liberation.

And at the summit, in the five Suddha Tattwas, there is only Love.

In Love’s governance — nothing is wasted.

No soul is abandoned. No darkness falls outside the reach of His light.

AnDavan aaTchiyil adharmamey illai — not because nothing goes wrong, but because nothing that goes wrong ever leaves His hands.

This is Saiva Siddhantam. This is Anbe Shivam.

Sivaayanama.

He answered the questions and doubts I had that I posted in the last post.

It is a revelation about the nature of the One who governs. And it is given — as all the deepest teachings of Saiva Siddhantam are given — not to the intellect, but to the heart that has been sufficiently broken open by sincere practice, genuine love, and the boundless grace of the Guru.

That even their own failures — their own moments of Adharma, their own darkest hours — were held all along within Shiva’s love, and were never, not for a single moment, outside His grace. 

Niyati and Kaala — Shiva’s instruments of cosmic justice and time — ensure that even the consequences of Adharma are not wasted. Every stumble, every fall, every wrong turn is quietly, precisely, and compassionately being folded into the curriculum of liberation.

When I thanked him for taking the time to put together this piece and bring clarity to me, he had this to say with much humbleness.

Your kind words have left me quietly overwhelmed and immediately aware that I must place them back where they truly belong. Whatever clarity appeared in that answer was not mine. I am quite certain of this. These words did not arise from my own understanding; they arose through the small opening that the teachings I have been blessed to receive have been patiently carving in this thick-walled heart. If there was any beauty in what was written, it was only because the light of the tradition found a brief crack to pass through.

The understanding belongs to the lineage. The words belong to Shiva. This unworthy student only held the pen, and even that, only by His grace. If anything in that answer touched something true, it is because sincere souls like yourself have been walking this path with such love and such depth, and those of us who walk behind you benefit simply from the fragrance left on the road.

I remain only a grateful and still-stumbling student, knowing just enough now to know how little I know and how vast and luminous the territory ahead truly is.

All that is beautiful in it — En Ayyane — is His alone. Always His alone.

Sivaayanama

IT IS GOD'S WILL

As a bachelor, and later in walking the path of the Siddhas, I saw many who were God-fearing and served in various capacities in temples around me suffer. I could not understand back then, as the books I read told me God was all merciful, kind, compassionate, and loving. It just did not tally. A relative died on the spot when she was knocked down by a car right in front of a temple where she had prayed just moments ago. A devotee who served the deities at a temple saw his wife throw up, though it is normal in pregnancy, but it was extreme and went on for months on end in her case. Later, the deity, coming through a devotee, took responsibility for causing her the agony, stating certain reasons. I just could not comprehend or accept. It made me angry. Lord Siva, seeing my confusion and anger, came in a dream and asked me to keep my questions and doubts for a later date. I did just that, leaving behind home worship, temple visits, and reading for some 14 years. Then, after this long period of abstinence, Agathiyar, in calling me to a Nadi reading, spoke about karma, the law of cause and effect. Only then did I understand why it all had to take place. He revealed mine, too, and had me carry out remedies, too. 

Traveling this path, the Siddhas, too, like the deities back then, took responsibility for causing hurt. If Agathiyar told me in 2012 that the pain I endured in my lower back for some 2 1/2 years was triggered by the opening of the Muladhara chakra, Lord Muruga told me in another Nadi reading that the pain recurred in 2018 because it was to have me stay put in one place. Similarly, a devotee in his golden age slipped and fell in his house. Agathiyar told him that it was his doing so that he would stay home. Agathiyar had my wife stay away for about six months, having her attend to her ailing mother in her hometown, telling me it was his doing. He had a couple go through a divorce, admitting that it was his doing. Does this ring a bell? When I set out to learn more about the Siddhas after taking up the call, many cautioned me that the Siddhas would disrupt relationships, marriages, and families. I doubted them, asking how they could be so unkind. 

So it seems there is a reason for all things to take place. If it was not our past karma, it is a desire of another in a past birth that we have to see through, too, like my daughter wanted us to be her parents in this birth, too. We came to appease her soul. If it is not a desire of another that we have to see through, it is a desire of the Siddhas, deities, and Gods, for Agathiyar told me that he had on several occasions pushed me into certain circumstances and had me do wrongful and shameful things. He wanted me to have those experiences too. 

If Agathiyar had a hand in bringing on sufferings in our lives, he brings on joy and laughter too. He had me carry out our 60th wedding anniversary some time back, with him coming as the Purohit! If many only remember the darkest moments forgeting the good times and forgetting to pay gratitude and homage to the Siddhas and deities, many equally set out to fulfill their vows as promised when the things they asked for materialize. 

So what is ours then to brag about? This brings us to Sadhu Om's songs on Bhagawan Ramana's teachings that tell us that it is all His doing. It is God's will that we carry out as we play a part in His Lila or game. 

If there is one thing that I still cannot comprehend, it is the verse in the above song that states there is no Adharma in God's governance - "AnDavan aaTchiyil adharmamey illai enDru", when all the sacred texts speak about virtues, dividing them into acts of Dharma and Adharma, and tell us to take up the former and not fall for the latter. 

I guess born in the Kumbha Raasi, just as the Devas and Asuras churned the oceans, I keep churning my mind for answers too. 

BLISS

An author of several books messaged me saying she wanted to write about Agathiyar. I told her to come to the worship of the Siddhas first before venturing to write about him, for otherwise it shall only be based on previous research papers written by others, the myths and mythology that have been carried down for ages, and hearsay. Agathiyar, in calling me to the path, had me come to the worship of the Siddhas instead of settling for reading about them, speaking about them, etc. Hence, I came to know the Siddhas.

There is the seeker and aspirant who has made it to the end, and he merges in the bliss. He does not come back into society anymore. Then there is he who comes back to share the bliss with others on the other side of the wall. Then there are those who observe the blissful happenings from a distance and provide a visual narrative, but do not experience the bliss themselves. I guess most of us fall in the last category. Most of us speak and preach without the experience. A lad came around telling me that his parents were in the Siddha path. Asking if they did worship the Siddhas, he replied in the negative and answered that they read a lot about the Siddhas. 

This is the reason the Siddhas give us the experiences. Equipped with this, we can take on the seekers who come along the path, and their hunger to know more about these Siddhas, for we have walked the path. He then is indeed the beacon, the guide, the light, and the guru. He brings us to taste the bliss. Eventually, we fall in love with the path, the way, and the teachings. We begin to take it up too. If human birth is rare and the yearning to know is even rarer, I would say finding such a guru is even more rare. Blessed are those who are given a taste of this bliss. Blessed are those who get a piece of the cake and get to keep it.

I believe I am blessed. As such, my conversation with others is always about my gurus Supramania Swami, Tavayogi, and Agathiyar.  My conversation with others is always about the many miracles that were shown and took place. My conversation with others is always about the blissful moments that I experience in walking the path. Tavayogi always says that we should try to prolong these moments. Eventually, we arrive at a continuous state of bliss. We are then the very bliss. We become it.

A PIECE FROM A READER

A friend and a reader read my piece, "The Tools", and wrote a beautiful piece elaborating further according to his understanding. He writes beautifully. I had asked that he start writing a blog too, for his command of the English language and his in-depth knowledge of religious and spiritual subjects are appealing. This piece of his could be the start of more writings and greater pieces to come our way.

I share his writing with readers here. 

THE TOOLS

Siddha Heartbeat

Published: Monday, 25 May 2025

“But seeking God is very personal. As such, can anyone truly show us the way, the path, the method, and the means to it? Can anyone claim to be an authority on religious and spiritual matters? Everyone is walking the path and journeying towards it, be it the layman or the guru, for Ramalinga Adigal, in charting the many phases, speaks of its numerous stages. Where do we stand in this spiritual ladder? How long is the journey going to take us to reach the top? It all begins with faith and belief first, and taking little baby steps, not forgetting the effort and practice needed to reach there. Rest assured, we shall see the results in good time.”

Indeed. And what a quietly liberating truth that is.

Because if seeking God is personal — truly personal — then there is no single corridor we must all squeeze through. Saiva Siddhantam reminds us that the soul — the Pasu — is not uniform in its bondage or its readiness. Each soul carries its own weight of Anava — that primal sense of smallness and separateness — wound tightly around it across countless lifetimes. The loosening of that knot is not a single event. It is a long, patient unraveling, unique to each soul, overseen by Shiva alone in His infinite compassion.

Can anyone claim authority on such matters? Perhaps the honest answer is: only partially, and only humbly. The Guru in the Saiva Siddhanta tradition is not merely a teacher — he is the very form through which Pati, the Lord, extends His grace downward toward the bound soul. And yet even the Guru does not walk for us. Tirumular, in the Tirumantiram, makes this beautifully clear:

 

ஆசாரி யாரென்று கேட்கின்றோம் நாமே —

தேசாந்தி ரத்துள் சிவனருள் பெற்றோரே

Ācāri yārenʻru kēṭkinṛōṃ nāmē —

Tēsānti rattṫuḷ civaṉaruḷ peṛṛōrē

“Who is the true Acharya, we ask —

He who, in this wide world, has received the grace of Shiva.”

— Tirumular, Tirumantiram

 

The teacher points. The grace descends. But the soul must turn — must make itself available. Authority in spiritual life belongs ultimately not to the human vessel, but to the Shakti moving through it.

And so everyone walks. The layman fumbling through daily life, finding God in unexpected moments of stillness. The guru, disciplined and devoted, still bowing before something immeasurably larger than himself. Ramalinga Adigal, in his Thiruvarutpa, did not speak of one stage or two — he charted the Arutperum Jyothi, the vast ocean of Grace-Light, as something approached gradually, through ever-deepening surrender. The Suddha Avastha — the state of purified soul-consciousness — is not seized. It is grown into, the way a seed grows into a tree: invisibly, steadily, in the dark.

Where do we stand on this ladder? Saiva Siddhantam speaks of the soul moving through Kevala Avastha — bound and unaware, shrouded in Anava Malam — into Sakala Avastha, where the soul engages with the world and its experiences become the very classroom of liberation. Most of us live here, in the Sakala — and that is not a failure. It is where the work happens. It is where Charya, Kriya, Yoga, and Jnana — the four-fold path — slowly, faithfully, do their purifying work upon us.

How long will it take? The Siddhanta does not promise a timeline. It promises something better — that Shiva’s grace, Shaktinipata, will descend at the moment of the soul’s ripeness: not a moment before, not a moment after. Our practice does not earn that grace — nothing can earn what is freely given. But practice prepares the vessel. It thins the walls. It makes us more permeable to what is always already pouring toward us.

It begins with faith and belief — Shraddha — not certainty, but the willingness to keep showing up before the altar even when the heart feels dry. Baby steps, yes. The Charya path begins simply: service, ritual, presence. No grand illuminations required at the start. Meykandar in the Sivagnana Botham reminds us that the soul cannot know itself or Shiva through intellect alone — it must be touched, turned, and transformed from within:

 

அறிவித்தான் றானே அறிவாய் அறிவித்து

Aṛivittān ṛānē aṛivāy aṛivittu

“He Himself, as pure Awareness, causes the soul to know.”

— Meykandar, Sivagnana Botham

 

The effort, the practice, the showing up even on days we feel nothing — none of it is wasted. In the Saiva vision, every sincere act of seeking is seen by Shiva. The Pasa — the bonds — weaken not all at once, but grain by grain, through every prayer offered, every ego quietly laid down, every moment of genuine surrender.

Rest assured, the results will come. The soul that persists will find, one day, that the silence it once found empty has become full. That the God it once sought outside has been recognized within. That what began as effort has become effortless love — Anbu — which Thirumoolar in the Tirumantiram calls the very substance of the path:

 

அன்பே சிவம்

Aṉbē Sivam

“Love itself is Shiva.”

— Thirumoolar, Tirumantiram

 

We are all on our way — the layman, the seeker, the guru — each carrying our particular weight of Malam, each receiving our particular measure of grace, each being worked upon by the same silent, tireless, infinitely patient Pati.

Let us keep walking — faithfully, humbly, and with love.

 

அருட்பெரும் ஜ்யோதி. அருட்பெரும் ஜ்யோதி. தனிபெரும் கருணை அருட்பெரும் ஜ்யோதி.

Arutperum Jyothi. Arutperum Jyothi. Thaniperum Karunai Arutperum Jyothi.

COMING TO WORSHIP THE GURU

If previously I had only known the deities whom we traditionally worshipped, which I took up following my parents, it was Paramahansa Yogananda's Autobiography of a Yogi that introduced me to gurus. I received a copy of this book from an officer in the department who had opted out of the Government service to become a monk at Yogananda's Ranchi Ashram in India in 1994. It was truly an interesting read and an eye-opener. Just as I was interested in reading, listening, and knowing the relationship between the master and his disciple, years later, during my days of mentorship with my gurus, Supramania Swami and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal, I began to compile and write a book on the wonderful relationship between the masters and their disciples, and uploaded it online at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zrx_4OZnF7ss8754vh6W6r5afD6P_Sew/view?usp=sharing

besides writing about my experiences in meeting my gurus and sitting at their feet on my former websites and this blog postings. 

These are only some stories of gurus and their disciples that I came across. There are countless others and their stories not yet told. The right person has to come by to reveal them to the public.

In an online article at https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/tamil/movies/news/rajinikanths-spiritual-side-a-look-into-the-jailer-2-stars-spirituality-as-he-keeps-it-above-name-fame-and-money/articleshow/131345345.cms

we come to read how the famed actor Rajinikanth came to worship his guru.

During a very difficult time in his young days, Rajinikanth once thought about ending his life, as the actor recalled during a musical event in Singapore in 1992, according to Cinema Express.

But something unexpected changed his mind. He saw a painting of a holy saint sitting with people around him and doing puja. The picture stayed in his heart even after he left that place. That same night, Rajinikanth saw the same saint in his dream. The old saint, with a long white beard, was sitting near a river and calling him. Rajinikanth later said that in the dream, he did not swim across the river; he simply ran on the water to reach him.

The next day, when he asked about the saint, he learned that it was Sri Raghavendra. Rajinikanth believed that moment changed his life and started his deep spiritual journey.

Rajinikanth later took on the role of Sri Raghavendra in a movie about the life and times of the saint. This movie was so captivating that my brother-in-law, Sundara Arumugam Aiya, took up the worship of Sri Raghavendra after watching it. He came to build the Jegathguru Sri Raghavendra Mritiga Brindavanam Kinta in Ipoh in later years. He has since passed on. He shall be remembered on 4 June as the family comes together in prayer. 

CHARITY

Maya comes in many disguises. I had always thought that we tend to carry the false notion and believe that we are superior to all others who have yet to become "religious" or "spiritual", adding weight to our already existing ego. My wife thought that we were becoming addicted to and "high" in serving the poor and unfortunate. Mahindren pointed out that we had, in fact, begun to pray that there were people, poor and hungry, on the streets, waiting to receive the groceries and cooked food we had bought and prepared for them, respectively. It is indeed sad that we have begun to wish for the continued existence of the poor and unfortunate, so that we can do our part in charity and serve them, thus earning some merits and good karma. 

Days ago, I came across the sad state of matters with regard to the once honorable act of doing charity, which we saw, experienced, and realized, before Agathiyar ended it, shared in a local daily at https://www.thestar.com.my/metro/metro-news/2026/05/27/free-meals-creating-waste-problems. Excerpts from the article are as follows.

Free meals are creating waste problems.

According to "several homeless folk,"... "they were able to eat up to 12 times a day, thanks to meals distributed by generous individuals, charitable groups, and religious organisations at various locations around George Town in Penang. It has been observed that during weekends and major festivals, as many as seven or eight groups hand out food, around noon, with many homeless folk collecting multiple meal packs." 

"However, the lack of coordination has led to food wastage and cleanliness issues,".... "Some recipients have been spotted discarding meals by the roadside after finding the food unappetizing or not to their taste.".... "In some cases, food waste is dumped on the ground instead of being disposed of properly."...... "Others take several portions but consume only their preferred dishes or meat, leaving rice and other items uneaten.".... "Their careless behaviour contributes to pollution while attracting crows, pigeons and rats."...."...the area was often left littered afterward." 

This news report has captured exactly what we encountered and saw in the streets of Kuala Lumpur, too, as we from Thondu Seivom and Amudha Surabhi, the charity wing of AVM, started feeding the homeless many years back. 

Then we saw food distributed by other groups go to waste too, during religious and festive events held on temple grounds. 

These ugly sides to a virtuous deed defeat the very purpose of giving out free food and doing charity. 

I guess Agathiyar had us carry it out to have us gain the experience, too, and later brought it to a halt and had us move on to doing other things.

AVM BHAJAN

 

ATTAINING THE STATE OF SIVAM

Sariyai

I have been worshipping all my life, until Lord Siva, in an attempt to cool me down, came in a dream and asked me to take a break from my home puja, temple visits, and readings for some 14 years between 1988 and 2002. Then the call to come to the worship of the Siddhas came through the Nadi in 2002. Calling me to the path, Agathiyar laid the slabs, paving the way in walking his path. Continuing the tradition of Sariyai now, after a long lapse, I chanted a long list of names of the Siddhas and sang their praises in addition to the original lists of deities.

Kriyai

Agathiyar then sends Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram to Malaysia in 2005 to preach the path of the Siddhas. We meet, and he officially initiates me into the path, nurtures and molds me, by breaking me first and fixing me later. By having me carry out rituals such as the lighting of the sacred fire, the Homam, Tavayogi, and Agathiyar brought me to Kriya. While Tavayogi told me to do it to appease Mother Earth and Nature and save us from her wrath, Agathiyar came later in the Nadi to convince me that I was not doing it for myself but for the good of all, the Prapanjam. They had connected me to Prapanjam. In later years, Ramalinga Adigal, coming through devotees, was to help us reach out to her. In doing it deligently and consciously, this ritual drew the bridge down for the Siddhas to come down and sit among us. It was only when he had a family come over to my home and sit in on this ritual, recently, that Agathiyar showed me and had me realize that we could burn our karma in its fire, hence wiping out what was fated, and draw up a new destiny. He made me realize why Tavayogi had prepared 108 of such ritual pits and had each family follow the ritual on his ashram ground back then, and named the event as Sarva Dosa Nivarana Maha Yagam, the Yagam that was to clear all Dosas and Karma and bring relief.

Yogam

In 2007, Tavayogi officially introduced me to Yoga by demonstrating several Asanas and Pranayama techniques to several others and me. This practice, in bringing in a surge of Prana, connected me to the Prapanjam. And, unknown to me, it brought immediate transformation to my body and mind. It was only in later years that Agathiyar, in the Nadi, in revealing the reason for the unexplained, intense, and excruciating pain in my lower back that I had to live with, revealed that the practice had opened the Muladhara chakra. In 2022, just as Tavayogi had said that our efforts are only till the Svadishtana, Agathiyar helped release the pent-up energy that had ponded at the Svadhistana, to move swiftly within the next couple of days to reach Sahasrara, where the blooming of the 1000-petalled lotus took place. I touched bliss.

Coming as a bronze statue in 2010, which he asked to commission and be made in Swamimalai, Agathiyar has me do an Abhisegam or libation to his statue, as an extension of Kriyai. The day after his arrival, as we gathered family and friends to give life to the otherwise inert statue by chanting his name 100,000 times, as directed in the Nadi, Agathiyar came within me while my soul entered the statue. Years later, in 2013, he opened his eyes in his statue to look at us, and for all to see, showing us that he was pretty much alive in the statue. Bringing youths to my home to watch and participate in our home puja the same year, he expanded the worship, bringing it into the corridors of these temples, where we lit lamps and carried out Abhisegam and Homam. Bringing us to carry out charity in the children's homes, the old folks homes, the streets, and the homes of the poor and unfortunate, he mellowed us, bringing compassion and love to blossom in our hearts and bosoms, too. Through devotion and service, cooperation, and goodwill, we made great strides, proudly and cheerfully walking the path.

In 2016, not knowing that it was to be the finale, we brought Agathiyar's statue into the homes of devotees who invited the visiting Tavayogi and Mataji. Then, just before ego and pride could get into our heads, Agathiyar had me bring the shutters down, hence bringing a halt to puja and charity in 2019. In initiating the move to do so, he made me let go of my association and attachment with the AVM group that had grown and flourished and was at its peak of activities. While some were confused, others continued with their home puja. As for me, I was asked to go within.

In 2024, Agathiyar, wanting to test me to see if I was willing to let go of my attachment to his statue, too, asked to leave my home and had me bring his statue into the homes of several devotees. I did as told, letting go of my association and attachment to his statue. Having tested me, he returned to AVM, bringing LobaMa with him also as a bronze statue that was sponsored and worshiped by a devotee. Subsequently, he held the 60th wedding anniversary for my wife and me to prove the critics, who held the opinion that the Siddhas would break up marriages and move them to become hermits, wrong.

Gnanam

Then Agathiyar had me even let go of him too, asking for how else could we and would we be one. He implied that we were one, hence bringing me out of Dvaita or Bakti or devotion, just as Tavayogi had called for, into Advaita or Oneness.

He then told me to know my Atma or Soul and to know Sivam, the Source.

As I flipped through Yogi SAA Ramaiah's book "Babaji Gita" moments ago, Shuddhananda Bharati, in his preface to the book, sums up this transformation from man to Sivam.

Human birth is rare. It is even more rare for a man to become pure, come to know himself and his creator, move away from suffering, and come to the state of Sat Chit Ananda. This state of Sat Chit Ananda is Sivam indeed.

மனிதப் பிறவி மிகவும் அரிது. மனிதன் புனிதனாகித் தன்னை அறிந்து தலைவனை அறிந்து துன்பம் துறந்து தூய இன்ப நிலை பெறுதல் மிகவும் அரிது. தூய இன்ப நிலையே சிவம்.

I have arrived at the destination, or rather, I have come to settle in my home, in the source.

THE TOOLS

Just as we expect to gain something from either a venture, investment, a practice, or in doing something in the material world, so too, coming to the religious and spiritual, we look towards some gain, change, or result. Rare are those who come for the sake of God.

Often it has to be immediate. We want everything served on a silver plate. We want everything to fall from the sky. We want everything without effort. We want everything free. 

Once gained, everything then becomes an addiction for us, just as we are addicted to tea and coffee, wine and beer. 

Coming into the religious circle, we religiously adopt certain practices and keep doing them for life. Our ancestors did it, and so we do it. Since we do it, we force it on our children. And they, on their children. The secret to escaping this cycle is to stay aloof and never be swept by the current. Progression of an earlier activity avoids boredom and repetition. Continually refining the method, approach, and practice keeps us alert and on our feet. And so it was that we made changes in our mode of worship and its related rituals at AVM. 

And soon after bringing us to carry out puja and charity, Agathiyar had us drop it all, which I guess saved us from becoming bored with the regime and becoming tired of doing the same thing. I guess he saved us before it became an addiction, and we became "high," as my wife says, or before we became slaves to it. Mahindren pointed out that we had begun to pray that there were people, poor and hungry, on the streets, who would receive the groceries and cooked food we bought and prepared for them. Sadly, we began to wish for the continued existence of the poor and unfortunate so that we could do our part in charity and serve them. 

A young man, who landed the post of secretary and who eventually became responsible for the affairs of a temple in my neighborhood, now finds himself caught in the web and wants to quit. He confided in me that he had to do all the purchases, sought donations, and look into every tiny detail and matter in the day-to-day running of the temple. He found it a burden. A Peedham head confided the same, that she had to source funds and look after the running of the Peedham, though there were the trustees. They never moved an inch or moved a finger, but just warmed up their seats. I was surprised to hear that she had to pay a salary to the priests, the gardener, the one who tends to the cows, and the cooks. What happened to volunteering that is a core element coming to Sariyai? I guess people just want to watch, pray, and leave. She told me that I had "escaped". I am glad that I did not fall for the game that Agathiyar and later Lord Muruga played in asking me to build a temple. Instead, I brought the temple home as Lord Muruga revealed later.

When Agathiyar told a devotee to continue her practice of doing Kumbaka or holding the breath, I asked if it was necessary, for we are told of its dangers too. Agathiyar shot me down, telling me not to be overzealous and that it was for her and not me. I learned back then that each method and practice is customized for each individual. I guess this is why traditionally a guru-disciple relationship was one-to-one back in the past and not that of holding classes for the masses or online as at present. 

The Siddhas see the events that are about to unfold and come to our aid. And so did Agathiyar ask my daughter to have a medical checkup done and report to him. He had her take the holy basil for 48 days and report to the Siddha physician J.Ariwananthen Aiya of Agathiar Yoga Herbs Care Centre, too, for a checkup. The physician gave her some herbal preparation. I too got to take a Kaya Karpa for my general health and Agathiyar Kuzhambu, after a long time. We have to seek the help of doctors and Siddha physicians as they are the authorities on these. Agathiyar has all the people in the right places to help us out. He comes when there is a need to inform. We are very grateful to him. 

But seeking God is very personal. As such, can anyone truly show us the way, the path, the method, and the means to it? Can anyone claim to be an authority on religious and spiritual matters? Everyone is walking the path and journeying towards it, be it the layman or the guru, for Ramalinga Adigal, in charting the many phases, speaks of its numerous stages. Where do we stand in this spiritual ladder? How long is the journey going to take us to reach the top? It all begins with faith and belief first, and taking little baby steps, not forgetting the effort and practice needed to reach there. Rest assured, we shall see the results in good time. 

In walking the path, both Tavayogi and Agathiyar have given us numerous tools. Standing at the door to Sariyai, we stood before the granite and bronze statues in the temple, where we came to worship the element of earth. In serving and helping around at the temple, we became grounded. We left our baggage of karma behind, going home a bit lighter. Walking the path of Sariyai further, going on a holy pilgrimage, we dip in the Holy Ganges, which is of the water element. She washes away further our karma. Arriving at Kriyai, lighing to light the Homam that is of the fire element, we burn the remaining karma in its fire, turning it to ashes. In taking up Yoga, we take in the Prana, which is the element of air. Sitting in Dhyana, we enter the space.  Conquering all five elements, we enter the state of Sat Chit Ananda. In journeying this path laid by the Siddhas, we gain self-confidence to take things into our hands and lose our previous dependency on middlemen and others. After having cleansed the slate of past karma and wiped out our fate, holding the hands of the Siddhas, we begin to write our own destiny.