Swami Vivekananda wrote, "When I was a boy here, in this city of Calcutta, I used to go from place to place in search of religion, and everywhere I asked the lecturer after hearing very big lectures: "Have you seen God?" The man was taken aback at the idea of seeing God; and the only man, who told me: "I have", was Ramakrishna Paramahansa, and not only so, but he said: "I will put you in the way of seeing Him too". Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa gave the young Narendra @ Swami Vivekananda the experience of God rather than speak about him or describe him.
In answer to Narendra's question, "Sir, have you seen God?" the Master said: "Yes, I have seen God. I have seen Him more tangibly than I see you. I have talked to Him more intimately than I am talking to you." Narendra was amazed. These words he could not doubt. This was the first time he had ever heard a man saying that he had seen God.
During his second visit, about a month later, suddenly, at the touch of the Master, Narendra felt overwhelmed and saw the walls of the room and everything around him whirling and vanishing. He saw his own ego and the whole universe almost swallowed in a nameless void. With a laugh the Master easily restored him. Narendra thought he might have been hypnotized, but he could not understand how a monomaniac could cast a spell over the mind of a strong person like himself.
But during his third visit, Narendra fared no better. This time, at the Master's touch, he lost consciousness entirely.
A few more meetings completely removed from Narendra's mind the last traces of the notion that Sri Ramakrishna might be a monomaniac or wily hypnotist.
Narendra, because of his Brahmo upbringing, considered it wholly blasphemous to look on man as one with his Creator. One day at the temple garden he laughingly said to a friend: "How silly! This jug is God! This cup is God! Whatever we see is God! And we too are God! Nothing could be more absurd." Sri Ramakrishna came out of his room and gently touched him. Spellbound, he immediately perceived that everything in the world was indeed God. A new universe opened around him. Returning home in a dazed state, he found there too that the food, the plate, the eater himself, the people around him, were all God. When he walked in the street, he saw that the cabs, the horses, the streams of people, the buildings, were all Brahman. It took him a number of days to recover his normal self. He had a foretaste of the great experiences yet to come and realized that the words of the Vedanta were true.
(The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, Introduction by Swami Nikhilananda)
Although I have had no similar experience, just as Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa told Swami Vivekananda, "I will put you in the way of seeing him too", Tavayogi put me in the way of seeing Agathiyar. If Agathiyar called me to his path through a Nadi reading and showed me to Tavayogi who was visiting Malaysia Tavayogi, in turn, called me over to his ashram and showed me Agathiyar. Tavayogi showed me to Agathiyar telling me, "அருள் ஞான ஜோதியே அகத்தின் ஜோதி தனிப்பெருங்கடவுளே அகத்தீசர் ஆவார். Tavayogi did not portray himself as God or messenger of God but instead, his God became my God too. Once there he showed me rituals and worship and introduced me to doing charity. If Agathiyar had indicated that he will see me at Agasthiyampalli once I was there, he surprised me with a bonus miracle when he opened his eyes again at his shrine in the Kutraleswar temple. Pursuing this ride brought Agathiyar into our home as a bronze statue in 2010. Three years on, Agathiyar opened his eyes in this statue just as he did in his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli when Tavayogi took me there in 2005. He opened his eyes back in Malaysia, in a painting of his a day after we had all sat down to conduct a puja for him in the home of some girls. Showing us that he could be brought to manifest in the medium of our worship, be it a painting, granite, or metal, he showed us that he would visit the homes of devotees who called out to him too.
Someone who followed my blog contacted me and wanted to come over to my home but it never happened as he could not make it for various reasons. When he called me over to talk I knew that he wasn't keen on seeing Agathiyar but me. We finally met at a puja in an Agathiyar temple. He showed his respect to Agathiyar and came over to me and asked about the posts and how Agathiyar came. When he suggested that it could be hallucination on my part, I knew he only wanted to investigate the miracles. I was disappointed as I thought he was genuinely interested to hear about these miracles. I told him that I was not going to let him dissect me on the table rather told him to carry out all that I did thus far and experience it himself.
I was always of the opinion that we have had enough of temples and religious institutions many of which are abandoned and in ruins and have disappeared respectively. Those still around are in dire need of financial aid. Prem Kumar V. has done a good job in bringing our attention to some of these establishments that need aid to upkeep the rituals and puja.
In serving Agathiyar we became fond of him and the institution that was slowly growing around Agathiyar at AVM. It was pretty obvious that many were getting pretty attached to the group and possibly me too. This terrified me. Just as Tavayogi showed Agathiyar and stepped back, I too wanted each individual to take up the worship of Agathiyar and the Siddhas in their homes and wanted them to bring charity into the homes of the unfortunate and the homeless. There was no other way about it but to dissolve the groups. As I was happily removing each name from the two groups that we created back then in 2015, one to serve to inform devotees of the puja times and the other to inform volunteers of the charity programs, a sense of joy came about in letting go. As usual, my friend sends in a message as I am working on this post. It truly was beautiful in letting go.
Many years ago I had done the same regarding my writings online. I made the decision to remove all the websites and deactivate social media accounts. This was in response to a comment posted on a friend's social media regarding a photo of my first guru. I was angered by the comment that belittled my guru. Later I told Tavayogi that I had taken down everything. He asked "Why my son? Let it reach the people." I had to start from scratch building the web pages.
Now after disbanding the groups a doubt slowly raised if I had done the right thing destroying the very thing we gave birth to and nurtured for some four years. My farewell message in the group was,
If all this while we have been working on the body that is only a sheath or covering, adorning it with cosmetics, clothing, and ornaments, bathing it, feeding it, and praising the self and each other and inflating the ego, now he wants us to work on the soul. Bringing us to understand our role and true purpose in taking this birth, Agathiyar slowly brought us to understand the soul within and work on it too. We understood the soul to be the bridge that connected the body with the spirit. Agathiyar took time to spell out the ways and means of saving our souls.
Agathiyar surprises us with the message and assurance that all of us shall eventually reach the state of Jeevan Mukti. But we need to come out of Maya first. He wants us to take responsibility for our actions, and change accordingly, only then the soul comes out of Maya. The soul needs to grief over the sufferings of others. Then compassion begins to well in us. It's only when the soul feels the pain of another that it shall come to and remain on the path of the Siddhas. We need to work on this.
He brought us to strengthen the soul or gain Atma Balam by using the body as a tool. If initially we were told to gather merits or points by carrying out acts of dharma and service, leading to an accumulation of good karma that can be used to offset and balance those wrongs done intentionally or otherwise, slowly he brought us to realize that beyond and above collecting Bonus Link points that can be exchanged for gifts, later on, these acts of charity serve the very purpose of dissolving the stone-hearted who never gave a second glance or look at the plight of the poor and hungry. If through worship the soul cried for the grace of the divine, his blessings, or arul and darshan or vision, now by doing charity, his soul now griefs for the pain and sufferings of the small section of society who are exposed to continuous suffering and misery. Then his glance falls on the sufferings and pain of animals too. Ramalinga Adigal went a step ahead and it pained him to see the plants and crops wither. Compassion arises in the hearts. Only when the soul grieves for the sufferings of others shall one come out of Maya says Agathiyar. The day we win over Maya and its grip and hold on us, is the day we could possibly come to the fold of the Siddhas. The day compassion arises in us is the day we gain access to the Siddhas.
Hence the Siddha Margam is not for the masses as seen in Bakti and the temples, says Agathiyar strongly. It is definitely not for window shoppers and spectators. It is not for people who come to fulfill their material desires. I pointed out the need to serve through my blog writings revealing the reasons as told by Agathiyar. I have begged, pleaded, and came out harsh on those who chose to watch rather than help. Yet I could not melt those hearts. I could not trigger the compassion in them. My charm did not work on them. I dropped many from the group for their indifference to the plight of the poor and to my requests. I have failed in trying to bring more people to do service to our fellow mankind. My next course of action would be that of Ramalinga Adigal's too, "Vanthen Kadai Virithen. Vanguvaar Illai. Selgindren. I came with my wares. Sadly there was no buyer. I shall leave." As Ramalinga Adigal locked the doors to Satya Nyana Sabai, I shall bring the shutters down (on the groups). We are moving to Siddhivalagam (where Adigal shut himself up)
I was relieved when Agathiyar came to right my feelings telling me it was his doing. Subsequently, he had me stay home and go within. Soon the lockdown in liew of the pandemic came along. Some friends messaged me later telling me that they understood the reason for the move.
- I should thanked you aiya. From your blog, i came to know Agathiar appa. I learned that we dont need middleman between god and us from you aiya. Even though temples was closed due to covid-19, i was happy to pray and do pooja in my home. Yes, indeed when you broke the group i was so upset but now i realize the reason! Thank you for this siddha path and hope to see your spiritual growth aiya.
- I have to thank you for coming to the path aiya. You always spoke about the solo journey. You always spoke about going within. I had become tooo dependent on the blog aiya. My journey took a swift turn. I channel what i read these days. I don't deviate. I read what you send my specifically. This is because I have to find my own way. I don't look left or right or anywhere its just him and I. I am sure you know all about it. I am under the radar. I have been in isolation before the virus aiya.
Agathiyar reveals to us that the Siddha path is not akin to that of devotion or bakthi where crowds amass in hundreds and thousands. His path will shrink in numbers leaving only those who can take the heat to carry on his noble teachings. He initiates many things and finally comes to break all forms of attachments towards it.
Agathiyar says there is no right and wrong. We shall come to determine right and wrong based on our experiences. In other words, it's all about perspectives. Our perspective of things and the world around us changes as we become more knowledgeable about them and gain experiences and learn lessons. All his experiences shall "maketh the man". As a child, we hold dear to many things that later as adults, we ask ourselves, "Did we actually throw a tantrum for this?" or "Did we make a fuss over this?", since they become unimportant to us then. Similarly what we comprehend or understand and hold to be true in the spiritual circle too evolves and changes bringing a new understanding of all things spiritual. I have to admit that after 2389 posts on this blog, I too have come to see things from a different perspective hence realizing and understanding them differently. So should I then say that all my previous understanding was wrong? It was right at that particular moment of space-time. I saw it and understood it that way with my limited knowledge and understanding then. With time as we evolve, by meeting new people, by experiencing, and learning more, our evaluation and analysis differ, changing our understanding and acceptance or rejection of concepts, opinions, practices, and lifestyle. What is held close to our hearts is dropped for another with better understanding. What had been held to rigidly and followed will mellow or lose its hold on us with more revelations and new learnings.
I saw the movie Mookuthi Amman and have to acknowledge the sad facts that were shown taking place. A similar Hindi movie PK too brings to light our plight as seekers and devotees, who tend to be easily persuaded, influenced, and manipulated. Agathiyar back then in his "Agathiyar Gnanam" had warned us and stressed the need to be alert and distinguish the right and wrong. This too is very subjective he says. What might be true to one might be false to another depending on many factors and their upbringing, social and religious ethics, tradition and customs, their individual perspectives, their experiences and the lessons gained, their schooling in the field, their research, and learning. Similarly what is right for an era might be wrong during the next. So is it with everything else. In short, we cannot possibly label a thing as right and wrong. It is all in the eyes of the beholder.