Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) that was the hub of action in its heyday is now as silent as a pin drop. Though it was the hub for all to gather to conduct puja and execute charity back then, all that prevails these days is silence. Meanwhile, Agathiyar is seeing to the fulfillment of all my desires and wants that I dropped, shelved, or forgotten. Ramalinga Adigal told me once that in letting go, the Prapanjam shall provide for us all our needs. Indeed my neighbor comes by bringing me food to sustain these days of solitary and silence that I was asked to observe. I am never left hungry. I guess the whole idea of having me go into solitary is just as we need a break from work, we need a break from puja, doing charity, and from people and the various vibes. Agathiyar has brought me to the ultimate teaching, that of silence, that was adopted both by Lord Dhakshanamurthy and Bhagawan Ramana.
Though Agathiyar has me stay in solitary there seems no end to the constant stream of thoughts that comes on. Although we are told not to focus on them or follow these thoughts, the stream and flow never ends. We can only watch our thoughts and do nothing to bring a stop to them. But what if there is no thought at all? What would it be like? It is indeed scary to imagine this state, the state of thoughtless state. This phase is to forget the body and know the self. The medium that ties up both is the breath or Uyir. Settling in the breath makes us forget the body and connect with the Self or Atma instead. This is the moment of Atma Darisanam. The Mother that is the breath or Uyir introduces us, the JeevAtma to the Father or ParamAtma. This journey is beautifully depicted in words by Ramalinga Adigal in the song "Aanipon Ambalathil".
Although he had me stay indoors and tend only to my family's needs, Agathiyar came through an invitation to conduct a puja in another state days ago. The host approached us through a relative of theirs who frequented our home puja. The former had been carrying out this annual puja for the past 23 years bringing in someone from an Ashram to conduct the prayers. This time around Agathiyar wanted to break their dependancy on another and instead set the stage for them to conduct the puja themselves in the years to come. Hence I saw myself with Mahindren's family arrive at 6.20pm. The puja was scheduled to start at 7pm. But Agathiyar came much earlier at 6.40. In fact, he was traveling with us, as we came to know later. He told the host that though he had come much earlier there was no reason for them to change their plans. Seeing him arrive I told the host to begin their home puja, what and how they would do daily at their altar, and continue with the day's special puja. I was surprised that they were rather lost on how to begin and looking at each other for a cue. Someone in the crowd then began a prayer for Lord Vinayagar. This was then followed by silence with each looking to the other for direction. Then someone started the ball rolling reciting the names of the Siddhas. It was obvious that these names were alien to those who gathered for Agathiyar called me over and asked that they stop reciting. He told me that the Arutperunjothi mantra would be a fine start and would blend well with those gathered as it was a simple chant to follow. I led the chant. He told those gathered to chant it from the navel and not just merely move their lips. After some time chanting the mantra, he then blessed all those gathered and addressed some. He told the host not to depend on a third party but to carry out the puja themselves. We understand that they never learned the trade by inviting another to conduct the puja. We tend to appreciate Tavayogi now for he had me carry out a smaller scale of the Yagam to coincide with his Agathiyar's Jayanthi back then. He came around later to fine-tune the rituals. We then picked it up and brought the Siddha puja into other's homes. We brought it into the corridors of the temples too. When I stood before Agathiyar finally I thanked him for being there with us. He replied that this was the reason "we" had to come. This surprised me. He did not say that he had come to bring the change but included me and Mahindren's family and the devotee who was a conduit to pass on the invitation from the host to me. So I had to break my moment of solitary and go over to attend the puja.
Agathiyar had told me back then when he stopped all forms of puja and charity that whatever happened never to stop conducting his annual Jayanthi puja. Initially, this puja at AVM coincided with that of the parent ashram in Kallar and several other venues. But over time Agathiyar switched the date for us to coincide with Thaipusam. We shall be celebrating his Jayanthi on Tuesday 11 February 2025 between 12 noon and 1pm.