If I had conducted interviews or had the many guests, newcomers, seekers, and devotees who visited Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) in the past share their journey and experiences before the camera and uploaded these videos, I guess Agathiyar is beginning to expose me eventually after having me hide behind a camera all this time. He had pushed Mahindren, who frequents my home and conducts puja, to compile questions and put them forward to me, which he did just days ago on 1 May. At the same time, when he came to initiate the day's events, Agathiyar called me up and told me the same, asking me to engage in this Satsang and answer his questions, mentioning that the messages have to get across to the attendees at the puja, for most do not read this blog nor watch my YouTube channel. I, as usual, complied with his requests. Though my answers, due to time constraints, were brief during the session, I have elaborated on them further down here.
Mahindren: Just a quick recap so that it would be helpful to the kids. Looking back now, would you say that you came to the path on your own, or did the Siddhas bring you, or was it your parents? What do you think?
I had all these factors come into play from day one. Since only now have I come to know the soul in me, I can safely say that my soul, or Atma, brought me to the path, a path walked and lived for some crores of years, as Agathiyar has revealed to me recently. This brings us to Agathiyar's memo in explaining the body, breath, and soul sometime back, where he had Mahindren sit and take notes and share with me later.
The Atma keeps both the Udal and Uyir under its control in a secretive, subtle manner. This subtlety stays from 1 to 5 Varagai with the child before it's veiled. I cannot tell you the reason for it to be veiled now. Nevertheless, the Atma will return unto him depending on his actions. The Atma does not carry our karma, but the Atma shall help rectify our karma. When the karma is rectified, the Atma's seeking shall be hastened to the extent man's daily seeking shall exhaust. His entire seeking shall shift towards efforts on reaching me (Agathiyan). When the Atma in you pulls you to a path and if you realize it, it appears as an Athirvu or vibration and disappears. If you practice extending this vibration in you, you shall merge in this vibration that is the Atma and arrive at Erai/ Agathiyan.
Tavayogi, in his book "Atma Gnanam", defines Gnanam as the moment of realization of the Atma. This is true enlightenment. We become enlightened by the very Atma that was with us throughout our lives, albeit for the period when we thought we were responsible for our lives. When the guru comes to remove the veil, we see our Atma. He makes the truth known to us. He brings down the screen of Maya. He exposes both the screen and the soul that is behind it. We then become a renewed person. Our priority in life shifts. Our perception shifts. Our inner longings, or rather our true purpose, surface. When we are caught in the grip of Maya, or illusion, in this world, we never realize the existence of the Atma. When we become enlightened, we attain Gnanam. That is Atma Darisanam.
Then I have to give credit to my parents too, for if they were not moved to bring me to my neighbor of Chinese descent, who goes into a trance and has me saved, I would not be penning this blog today. Having lost two siblings to diarrhea, they did not take the chance of bringing me to the hospital but rather took me next door and laid me before the Chinese deities at my neighbor's altar. The gods coming through the neighbor only asked that my parents give me up for adoption to them. I was saved. I used to frequent his place for all my ailments. He would go into a state of trance, chant, dip a brush into a bottle of red ink, and write Chinese characters onto a strip of yellow rice paper, burn it, collect the ash in a glass of water, and have me drink it. I would be cured.
I guess when a Japanese fighter plane let off a string of bullets from its machine gun, missing my father by inches, during the war, and when my father subsequently gave up his wealth and property to enroll in an ashram back in India, but as his guru saw that he had to complete his responsibilities, he was sent back home, I took on some of his merits, which saw me take the plunge too.
And finally, Agathiyar calling me to come to his path and to worship the Siddhas in my very first Nadi reading came to claim my soul, reminding me of our bond that stretched over several crores of years. He sent me two wonderful gurus in the physical form, while he stood behind me as my Moola guru, or the Source, or Guru Dakshanamurthy. If Tavayogi made me look up to Agathiyar instead of holding on to him, Agathiyar asked me to look within at my soul. Eventually, he brings me to understand that our souls were one, just that he was mightier in many ways. Finally, he asked that I come to know Sivam, or the Moolam, or the source. I guess I have reached home, or rather, come to realize that I never left home. We were sitting in the comfort of our homes and watching a movie go by all this time.
In the first few years of travel, did you see it as Agathiyar's guidance? Did you see it as a spiritual experience or take a logical stand?
All the guidance in the initial stages came by way of the Nadi readings, which I took as the word of the Gospel. I did not go into logical thought, but stood with awe and wonder on this journey just as a child does. I guess that is the reason I have arrived, for I never questioned anything. Logic does not stand in the face of the Siddhas.
Is the Siddha path the same for all seekers? Or is it shaped by each person's inner maturity?
No. And yes, it is shaped by each person's maturity. Only now have I come to realize that there is actually no path hidden away by shrubs and foliage, waiting to be discovered. We lay the stones piece by piece as we take each step.
In the initial days of travel, even before the coming of Supramania Swami and Tavayogi, what did you make out of the Siddha path? Was it pure and simple faith, or was there a focus on sadhanas, tapas, and siddhis?
I have to go back to the days growing up as a kid and later becoming a bachelor before I can come to answer this question. As a kid, I used to turn back and look towards my family home, lift my hands in prayer, back then, as I left for school. I really do not know why I did this. My family members would tease me then. As a kid, "I" used to hover close to the ceiling, looking down at my father and brothers sleeping in one room and my mother sleeping with my sisters in another. Then "I" would begin to sway and take up speed and would take a plunge and enter my body that lay on the bed, not in fright nor fear but in joy and laughter. It was like a roller coaster ride. It was somewhat a daily routine and game or a nightly venture, I should say. I did not understand back then. Now, after coming to know about the soul, I believe it was astral travel that took place back then.
When, as a bachelor, I had all the time on my hands, I took up worship and engaged in aggressive puja both at dawn and dusk, visited temples, and did lots of reading, too. Seeing the sufferings of others made me ask if God was truly loving and compassionate as we are told. This drove me crazy to the extent that Lord Siva had to step in, coming in a dream and asking me to keep my questions to a later date. When Lord Siva asked me not to question further, I dropped all forms of puja, temple visits, and readings and began my next phase and chapter in life. I got married and raised a family. The day that Lord Siva mentioned came some 14 years ago, when I went for a Nadi reading in 2002, where I came to know about karma and got all my answers.
I knew nothing about the Siddhas until I saw astrologer Dr. Krishnan in 1996, who was the first to speak about the Siddhas and their Nadi. Then my nephew brought me news from "their" world in a mysterious manner in 2001. Asking me to recite the Vasudeva Mantra that came as a transmission through my nephew, he asked me not to question further. Later, he passed me a painting of Lord Dakshinamurthy to pray to. Only a year later, he revealed that it was Agathiyar's grace and message that he was asked to convey to me. It came by way of his Paramaguru Gopal Pillai, who had already attained Samadhi, coming through a devotee at the Bhagawathy Amman temple that my nephew used to frequent in his days of studying at USM, Penang.
Agathiyar has since then led me by holding my hands just as he held my hands tight during the last Chithirai Pournami puja.
How does Agathiyar's presence work in life? Do compare the initial days and the present times.
Well, we are already seeing his presence and his play in having you ask the questions and having me reply to them. This is entirely their play that they have us engage in for those present and those who read the blog and view the videos. It all started with Tavayogi pushing me to address the small crowd that had gathered at the home of an individual in Banting, where Tavayogi was invited to officiate a Peedham back then during his visit in 2007. What could I say about the Siddhas back then, as I was new to the path, fresh, and naive? I froze in fear back then. But when Agathiyar asked me to speak to devotees at your home in 2024, I had much to say, as I had walked some distance by then. But when I touched on vegetarianism, Agathiyar took me to task later in private, telling me I was speaking the right thing to the wrong crowd.
Seeing that I would flounder again, he gave me the text the night before he asked me to read it out to the invitees to my 60th wedding anniversary that he had me hold and that he came to carry out on Guru Purnima of 2024.
And now he has us sit in Satsang again. He is ever-present in our midst.
Was there a moment of switch from belief to certainty?
While man says, "Let it happen, and I shall believe", the Siddhas say, "Believe, and it shall happen." I chose to believe without questioning. And it all took place just as Agathiyar says.
We are used to people lamenting about family and work responsibilities, and doubts arise whether it is possible to make progress on the Siddha path. How did you manage it in your life?
As I said earlier, I was blessed to have all the time to carry out my home puja as a bachelor, which has brought me this far. Another thing I adopted was to just carry out all the dictates and directives that the Siddhas gave, and that came my way through my gurus and the many who came by as upagurus and strangers, bringing me messages and practice. I never questioned, prodded, investigated, or delayed but just followed. I could easily drop or let go, too, when told. I saw the results.
We speak of detachment and unlearning in AVM. Why is this important?
While some leave the family and responsibilities behind, staying detached, the Siddhas want us to be involved with the family, society, and matters that are of concern to mankind, yet remain detached. You have to lift your leg and place it on another rung of the ladder to climb up, right? You have to let go of your hold on the rope and reach for another to climb up, right? Similarly, it is important to let go, just as I had let go and dropped everything given to me or that came my way, and moved on.
Do the Siddhas correct us directly? Or do they create the perfect situation, create the perfect environment for the seeker's growth?
By "correcting," I take it that you mean "Neri Paduthuvathu." They come by and correct each one according to their terms and at different times, often revisiting them numerous times, leaving behind reminders to come to the path and the practice.
Many become passive when asked to surrender. How do we know the difference between true surrender and being passive?
It is only when we surrender the "I" that the Atma returns to reign, just as Agathiyar told us earlier, "Nevertheless, the Atma will return unto him depending on his actions." Its reign off course would be in line with the divine, as opposed to that of the "I" that exercised its superiority earlier, leading us blindly. When the Atma comes back to regain control of the body, or Udal, and breath, or Uyir, it brings on a massive transformation within the body, often without our input or effort, and brings on the whole of Prapanjam within too. We understand the state of Agathiyar now when he says that the Prapanjam is in him and he is in the Prapanjam and that he is IT!
What is the change that has to happen within us? Is it in the habits or perception?
It all starts with worship at home and in the temples. We have read about how several saints were shown the dance of Siva and the Atma as a child, in their homes and certain temples. Later, after the karma is cleared and we surrender, as one pursues the path that the Atma identifies for us, the Atma begins to express its thoughts and actions through us. We become our true Self, or JeevAtma, an expression of the larger ParamAtma. The individual is then an expression of the divine and divinity. He becomes a Jeevan Mukta doing God's work here.