HONEST TO THE CORE

Speaking to Mahindren a moment ago, touching on souls and how they design and take on a body fit for their purpose, or to see through the desires that they carry, I wondered how twins came to be. Was it one soul in two bodies or two individual souls? When the question and doubt appeared last night, I immediately called up Mahindren, for he had a twin brother too. But he was already in bed by that time. Moments later, my question was answered. Though they were twins, they could not possibly come out together at the same moment, holding hands. One had to come earlier, while the other followed later. So it is considered as two souls coming together, to take up two individual bodies and be born one before the other. As such, they would be of two individual personalities and characters. 

Whenever Agathiyar, the Siddhas, the gurus in Samadhi, and the deities come through me, Mahindren or Sakthee, my very concern is that they fulfill what they had promised their devotees or seekers, for otherwise, besides their good name tarnished, we too would be seen as putting together an act. Just as we have to safeguard their good name, they too have to take care of us. 

Agathiyar, giving them certain practices, had told a couple who were wishing for a child that they would be blessed with one. But it has been years now since we heard any good news from them. Why did it not materialize, and why the delay? We don't want to see Agathiyar called a liar, nor us accused of cooking up a story or giving false hope.

Jnana Jothiamma, who spoke to Goddess Kali and Karupanasamy, was told that the Goddess had left a guru and his words were not those of hers, as he had deviated. As the deity never exposed him, people kept thronging, thinking that the Goddess was speaking through him. Similarly, when the members of a local temple committee battling for power came to a near battle of fists and the police were summoned, a friend called Mahindren, who was then with me over, for they had served the Goddess in the absence of a priest in the past. Goddess Kali, coming through him and watching the ruckus, told the friend that she was not there and had moved out. But that she would appear whenever a good soul came by the temple. I too sensed and said the same when I was in India in 2003, and again while visiting a temple and Samadhi locally some time back. My instinct appeared to be true later. So too did Agathiyar in the beginning years often mention that he stopped over at my home, Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), as he took a walk in the Vanam briefly before either heading for Kailash or Pothigai. This reminded me of relatives telling my mother that Lord Muruga would come in their dreams and say that he had come by our family house in our hometown back then, when I was a kid. Surprisingly, as a result of rituals and austerities carried out at AVM, Lord Muruga told us that our present home was now Agathiyar Tapovanam (ATM). Post-pandemic Agathiyar, who had previously mentioned that my home would become Gnana Kottam, came by, sitting and dining with us, and preaching and sharing his Gnanam with us. 

Fearing that all this would get into my head, Lord Muruga came to warn me to be aware of Maya and its workings. He told us that Lord Siva and Agathiyar, together with Lord Indran, were playing their lila. Later, Agathiyar acknowledged this and asked me to sieve through Maya to arrive at the truth. Only then did I understand why Tavayogi at the onset had shot me down, saying I was living in Maya, thinking that he was a holy man dressed in the garb of a Sadhu, mendicant, Sanyasi, and Turavi. When I was at his ashram later, he showed me the different shades of guru, bringing me to their places. 

Fearing all this, my wife and I had initially asked Agathiyar to put a stop to this after he began to bring a string of strangers to my home wanting to see him and his bronze statue in 2010. He did listen to us. No one came by knocking on my door wanting to see him. Then one day, as I entered his room and stood before him, he asked me where I would go if he were to shut his ears. That hit me like a bolt of lightning. Indeed, I go to him for all my needs, too. Where and to whom would I turn to if he decides to look the other way? He assured me no harm would come to either my family or me and that he was only using my home as the venue and my body to move things. When we submitted to his lila, everyone poured out their grievances to me, or rather, him. Even those whom I meet in my morning and evening walks would stop to share their grievances. From family feuds and medical problems, to financial losses, I have heard it all. 

I have begun to appreciate Tavayogi for his patience in sitting and listening to the many who came by and shared their problems. All he would say was to point out that their sufferings were due to their karma and asked that they worship the Siddhas. That is all he would say.  I had burned my fingers giving advice in the initial years and received a tight slap on my cheeks from Tavayogi for interfering back then.

I am glad that I listened to Agathiyar and glad that I have begun to listen patiently without giving any advice these days, for Agathiyar saved a soul that contemplated suicide. The latest was someone who was a 70-year-old man who needed a shoulder to cry on. 

Not only that, when we gave the nod when Lord Muruga came asking us to step aside and watch their play, all hell, or in this case heaven, broke loose. The deities came in torrents. All heaven rained deities and Siddhas. 

I guess just as Agathiyar told me that he had pushed me into certain awkward, dangerous, and shameful situations before, for want of those experiences too, I needed to see through this phase too in my travels and journey. But I like the way the Siddhas handle matters. Though it hurts at times, they are frank and honest. 

HUMILITY

Nature can indeed be a teacher, teaching us humility. In the song "Ninaithu Ninaithu Paarthen" from 7G Rainbow colony, a verse goes as follows: அமர்ந்து பேசும் மரங்களின் நிழலும், உன்னை கேட்கும் எப்படி சொல்வேன், where the lyricist says that the trees under which they sat as a couple and took shade are now asking about her and where she was. Beautiful right?

Taking a walk in the park and seeing these trees that have outlived many of our generations makes us realize that our lifespan is minute compared to theirs, just as Balamurugan, who had been to Kailash, mentioned that he felt like an infant before the majestic towering mountain and felt so minute and small before the boulders there.

So too have these benches listened to others' conversations in the following short films. And it is telling no one nor sharing, unlike books. 

Carl Sagan defines the book in the 11th episode of his legendary 1980s Cosmos series, titled “The Persistence of Memory,” as follows,

"What an astonishing thing a book is. It’s a flat object made from a tree with flexible parts on which are imprinted lots of funny dark squiggles. But one glance at it and you’re inside the mind of another person, maybe somebody dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people who never knew each other, citizens of distant epochs. Books break the shackles of time. A book is proof that humans are capable of working magic."

When many go on tours, or attend concerts, or events, rather than being in the moment, they try to capture them for a later moment by taking photos and videos. We have become overly dependent on the smartphone and the internet. What if the internet were to crash one day? 

Prapanjam is listening to us. Agathiyar tells me that just as we sing their praise, speaking about the Siddhas, the Siddhas too speak about us. He asks me to connect with her and access all that is spoken when I told him that I could not retain the conversations he has with me, having to depend on recordings. 

SPACING OUT

I have come to believe just now that my current state of doing nothing was spacing out or Tayutau in Japanese. After having me go on a pilgrimage to sort my debts and karma in a past birth in 2003, having me stay in an ashram and venture into the woods, jungles, and caves following Tavayogi and upon returning home having me carry out the ritual of Homam to appease the wrath of Mother Earth and for the good of all of creation in 2005, as Tavayogi and Agathiyar explained respectively, after having me officially come to the fold of Yoga with Tavayogi giving me several techniques in 2007, after coming as a bronze statue and have me and my family conduct the ritual of libation or Abhisegam in 2010, after having the youths whom he send over to my home that took on the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) to watch and participate in the Siddha puja and engaging us in doing charity in 2013, and finally after having me bring down the shutters on all the above activities in 2019, he had me go within. In 2022, Agathiyar opened up the gates at Svadishtana chakra to release the pent-up energy that awakened as a result of the opening of the Muladhara, triggered by the Yoga practice, which resulted in the blooming of the 1000-petaled flower in the Sahasrara. Asking him if there was anything further to do, maybe another practice, Agathiyar replied that there was nothing further to do, and that she would do her work. Since then, I had been idling around, no activity and no practice to take up or follow. I have come to know now that I was spacing out. It is truly beautiful. 

It reminds me of Osho asking us to notice the space, the gap or interval between two breaths without effort. Osho, in his "Book of Secrets," says that, 

"Breath is the bridge. Not only is the breath a bridge to your body, but it is also a bridge between you and the universe. Breath is also the bridge between you, and space and time." 

"Buddha's enlightenment was based on using breath just as a technique to turn inwards - only this. Buddha said, "Be aware of your breath as it is coming in and going out." Eventually, we shall take notice of the gap or interval between two breaths without effort. 

Agathiyar told me back then in the Nadi that both Lord Ganesa and Lord Buddha were exponents of Vaasi or breath.

Osho, in his "Book of Secrets," brings us Shiva's first of nine techniques concerned with the breath,  from the "Vigyan Bhairav Tantra." 

"If you can feel the gap, Shiva says, the beneficence, then nothing else is needed. You are blessed, you have known; the thing has happened."

Osho in "The White Lotus", Jaico Publishing House, 2004, says further.

When people come to me, and they ask, ‘How to meditate?’ I tell them, ‘There is no need to ask how to meditate, just ask how to remain unoccupied. Meditation happens spontaneously. Just ask how to remain unoccupied, that’s all. That’s the whole trick of meditation – how to remain unoccupied. Then you cannot do anything. The meditation will flower. When you are not doing anything, the energy moves towards the center, and it settles down towards the center. When you are doing something, the energy moves out. Doing is a way of moving out. Non-doing is a way of moving in. Occupation is an escape. You can read the Bible, you can make it an occupation. There is no difference between religious occupation and secular occupation: all occupations are occupations, and they help you to cling outside your being. They are excuses to remain outside.

THE CANDIDATE

I concluded my last post saying that,

"If, after coming to hold their hands, my life was not in my hands but theirs, carrying out their bidding and tasks given, to their hearts' joy and contentment, the Siddhas have since then handed the key to me. After taking charge of me, they have now handed over the right to express myself and do as I wish. I am grateful to them for their faith and belief in me. I am grateful for their grace, love, and compassion. I shall try to live up to their expectations. I shall never let them down, as Agathiyar once told me to walk tall, for only then can he walk tall too."

Looking back now on my travels that began first with Tavayogi starting me on Sariyai by taking me to the abodes of the Siddhas in the physical world, and next in bringing me to Kriyai, having me carry out rituals that made my worship to the Siddhas complete, he had me bridge both worlds. Next taking up Yogam shown by Tavayogi, Agathiyar came to bridge the energies within with the without by awakening the chakras. With total surrender I came to savor the fruits of the journey. 

Just as I came to know about the Siddhas in the nineties from Siddha physician Dr.Krishnan, but only came to the worship of the Siddhas six years later when I was 43, Agathiyar who was the soul or JeevAtma that designed and engineered this body to do his tasks, and who later went into hiding and later returned to guide me through the Nadi, has now chose to reveal himself as the Self. 

We are all one Atma. One energy that has taken various forms. We are here to do God's work he says.

அனைத்தும் ஒரே ஆத்மா. ஒரே சக்தி கூடி செயல்படுகின்றோம்.  அவ்வளவுதான். இறைவனின் செயலைச் செலுத்துகிறோம். 

The "I" has to be erased. Only then shall the Atma surface. That is my Atma too. All is God's Atma (ParamAtma). We are all part of God. We have come to do his work.

உங்கள் வடிவம் நாமம் மறைய வேண்டும். அந்த நான் மறைய வேண்டும். அப்போது மிஞ்சி இருப்பது பரிசுத்த ஆத்மா. அது என் ஆன்மா. அகத்தியனின் ஆத்மா. ஈசனின் ஆத்மா. சுப்பிரமணியனின் ஆத்மா. தவயோகியின் ஆத்மா. முருகனின் ஆத்மா. அன்னையின் ஆத்மா. விஷ்ணுவின் ஆத்மா. நாம் அனைவரும் கடவுளின் அம்சம். அவரின் வேலையைப் பார்ப்பத்திற்கு வந்திருக்கின்றோம்.

We have taken many births. But then we only attended to our work. At least begin to do God's work now. Ask Agathiyan what your purpose is in coming here. He shall make you realize. He shall guide you on what to do and what to let go.

பல பிறப்பு எடுத்து விட்டோம். அப்போது நாம் காரியத்தைப் பார்த்துக் கொண்டிருந்தோம். இனியாவது இறைவனின் காரியத்தைப் பாப்போம். அகத்தியனிடம் கேளுங்கள் "நான் எதிர்க்கு வந்தேன்?" அவன் உணர்த்துவான். எதனை நீங்கள் செய்யணும் என்று, எதனை நீங்கள் செய்யலாகாது என்று, அவன் உணர்த்துவான்.

Your Atma shall speak to you. Only when you drop your work shall your Atma arise. It will begin to do its work. Agathiyan shall drive your Atma and bring it with him.  

உங்களுடைய ஆத்மா உங்களிடம் பேசும். எப்போது உங்களுடைய காரியத்தை விட்டு விடுகிறீர்கள் அன்றுதான் உங்களுடைய ஆத்மா வெளிவரும். அது தந்காரியத்தைப் பார்க்கும். அகத்தியன் உங்கள் ஆத்மாக்குள் செலுத்துவான். உங்கள் ஆத்மாவை தன்னுடன் கூட்டி செல்வான்.

It shall not be after death but right now in the here. It is not death. Do not waste precious time by stalling. Everything should happen now in the present. It should all take place while you are alive. Once life leaves you you are just a corpse. It serves no purpose. Achieve it while alive.

அது இறப்புக்கு பின்னர் இல்லை இப்போதே இத்தருணமே கூட்டி செல்வான். அது இறப்புக்கு சமம் இல்லை. இறப்புக்கு பின்னர்தான் அனைத்தும் நடக்கின்றது என்று எண்ணிக்கொண்டு பொன்னான காலங்களைப் போக்கி விடுகின்றனர். அனைத்துமே இப்போதே நடக்க வேண்டும். அனைவரும் என்னுடன் இப்போதே வந்து சேர வேண்டும். உங்களின் ஆத்மா என்னோடு இணைய வேண்டும். அனைத்தும் உயிருடன் இருக்கும் போதே நடந்தேற வேண்டும். உயிர் பிரிந்தபின் அது வெறும் சவம். யாருக்கும் பயன் அற்று அழுகி போகும். உயிர் இருக்கும் போதே அனைத்தையும் சாதித்து விடுங்கள்.

As we recall all the above that Agathiyar told us in January of 2022, Agathiyar reminds us why Lord Murugan came to asked us to surrender. It is only when we surrender that the divine can work on us. It is only when the "I" that is thought to be the doer submits to the holy feet of the divine that the Atma that resides within us and has been watching silently can arise to lead us to greater heights, not to achieve more monetary gains but attain greater spiritual heights. The Atma shall show the way to God. This JeevAtma shall lead us to the ParamAtma. The ParamAtma shall come as a guru in a physical form or feed its thoughts to the JeevAtma residing within us and move us. Either way, it is the divine who then moves the chess pieces. 

அமைதியாக அகத்தியன் செயல் படுவான். முதலில் உங்களை என்னிடம் ஒப்படையுங்கள். அன்றே என் குருநாதன் பலமுறை உங்களிடம் வந்து அமர்ந்து உங்களிடம் பலமுறை கேட்டான் சரணம் அடைந்து விடீர்களா?

"Surrender unto me. Lord Murugan had come earlier and reminded you of the need to surrender. This is the reason."

முதலில் உங்களை என்னிடம் ஒப்படையுங்கள். அன்றே என் குருநாதன் பலமுறை உங்களிடம் வந்து அமர்ந்து உங்களிடம் பலமுறை கேட்டான் சரணம் அடைந்து விடீர்களா? அதற்க்கு இதுதான் அர்த்தம்.

Surrender when you are still alive. There is nothing to achieve after death. Karma shall follow the dead. If you achieve it while still alive there is no death. Neither is there karma.

உயிர் இருக்கும் போதே சரண் அடைந்து விடுங்கள். இறப்புக்கு பின்னர் ஏதும் இல்லை. இறந்தவனுக்குத்தான் மரு பிறப்பு. இறந்தவனுக்குத்தான் கர்மா தொடரும். இருக்கும் போதே சாதித்து விட்டால் மரணமும் இல்லை கர்மாவும் இல்லை.

Having got the greatest boon from Agathiyar, this is where I have to tread with caution for it is akin to walking on the razors edge. I am to go back to reminding myself of all the teachings of my gurus especially on humbleness and not slip into arrogance that destroyed King Ravana of the past and many gurus in present times too. History stands witness to how arrogance, the ego, destroys man. In witnessing others flaws and their downfall it serves as a lesson for us to take charge of our lives the way the Siddhas intended and desired. This is where I have to be continuously aware of my consciousness and senses, and keep watch. This could yet be another test for me, probably my final after having tested me several times earlier to see if I was a viable candidate for the post that the Siddhas have reserved for me. I am glad and grateful that I had made it this far to qualify to be a candidate to join their folds. I shall continue to please them as I have done all this while.

FATE & DESTINY 2

Velayutham Karthikeyan Aiya, who was the admin and author behind the blog "Siththan Arul", posted that the Siddhas had wished that whoever sought them for solutions to their problems and surrendered to them, shall be pardoned for their past deeds, however bad and evil they may be, and shall not be put through the trial and tribulations and made to face the consequences, but instead be saved. Agathiyar, who did not give up on his devotees, approached Lord Brahma and voiced their concern for humanity to him. Agathiyar humbly requests that Brahma change the karma of all those who came seeking him (Agathiyar) as he had given his word to them. He seeks Brahma's word of promise that he would not harm any of his devotees. 

Brahma asked him, 

"You are asking me to go easy on too many devotees. It would take no less than 10 years to seek out their Nadi or Olai Suvadi and make changes to their fate. If you keep on recommending that I save them by changing their fate, who is going to pay back for their deeds and karma? Do we not need to punish them for their karma?" 

Agathiyar pleads with Brahma, telling him that he believes all should be saved and that their fate should be changed. He suggests that Brahma increase his workforce so that these changes could be hastened. 

Finally, Brahma submits and replies that although he cannot stop the incident from happening, he can reduce the repercussions or effects as a result of that event. When Brahma granted the Siddhas this wish, the next instant the Siddhas wrote down: the reasons for each individual’s sufferings; listed out solutions and remedies; and showed ways and means to overcome or end the seeker's problems, sins, diseases, illnesses, and sufferings. These writings came to be known as the Nadi. 

If we are used to finding easy ways to solve our problems, seeking mediums and middlemen, shamans, priests, and gurus, for immediate relief through dispersement of the sacred ash, miracle water, and baths, talismans, amulets, etc, coming to the Siddhas, though, they make us walk the talk. They send us on pilgrimages that help shed our karma. They have us place the efforts in lighting the sacrificial fire or Homam, and have us place all our worries in it for the fire to consume. They have us personally bathe the statues of Siddhas and deities to cool them down and appease them, in asking for their aid. Besides the rituals, they get us to the ground to carry out charity, which, besides helping to shed the karma of both parties, the giver and receiver on the other end, brings on love and compassion towards others, ridding us of our selfish outlook. They get us going on Yoga to help rebuild our declining state of health. There is no easy way to it. One has to place the efforts. We cannot buy our way out of our karma.  

So too did my life take a turn, and I saw myself sitting before a Nadi reader in 2002. Agathiyar came into my life after I took up the call to see the Nadi and come to the worship of the Siddhas. Agathiyar in the Nadi spoke about karma too, and he gave me the remedies to soften their effects just as Brahma had promised. Knowing my past karma and carrying out the remedies given cleared the path for me to see the results of my worship and practices, and my efforts that I was otherwise deprived of earlier. Though this moment of exposure of my faults and flaws in my past life did not impact me back then, today I am thankful to Agathiyar for pleading to Lord Brahma for all of us. If Agathiyar, on his part, had helped me soften my karma by giving me the remedies and showing me the means and the ways, the method and the practices that were to come my way, helped me start a new journey. I began to rewrite my fate and chart a new destiny, with the Siddhas holding the pen and my hand.

Agathiyar had me perform a puja known as Siddharku Thanam or a ritual to show my appreciation and thanks-giving to the Siddhas, by making certain offerings, which I did. Here, then, I learned to carry out the Siddha puja for the very first time when Nadi guru Senthilkumar led me in reciting the names of the Siddhas. I took back the tools and the method and began to continue the worship of the Siddhas in my home, as Agathiyar had asked me to in the Nadi. 

Eight years later, pleased with my devotion towards him, he came into my home as a bronze statue. And three years later, my home became his Agathiyar Vanam (AVM) with the arrival of youths whom he sent to watch and participate in my home puja. Then, in 2018, Lord Muruga, in a Nadi reading, tells me that my home was his temple. I am humbled and grateful for this. 

Just as my home transformed from that of a family man into a temple, the Siddhas began to work on my inner transformation. After Lord Siva came in a dream and had me take a break from puja and bakti as in Sariyai, for some 14 years, leaving me blank and empty of all rituals and readings, after having me let go of my hold on Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal even before the seed could sprout, and after returning naked from my visit to Kallar ashram and travels with Tavayogi as directed by Agathiyar in 2005, where Tavayogi had me drop my hold on the Rudraksa bead even before the thought sproated in me, and had me shed the Navarathnam ring and Rasami bead that I had on me, Agathiyar had Tavayogi show me and several others certain Yoga techniques which I put into practice on his next visit to Malaysia in 2007. If initially I saw a surge of Prana come within, I had to endure an excruciating pain in the lower back for some 2 1/2 years between 2010 and 2012. I never realized until Agathiyar addressed the issue in the Nadi, telling me that the practice had awakened the Muladhara chakra in me. With his grace, the knot gave way as I positioned myself to repeat the exercises before my physiotherapist at the government clinic in 2012.  In 2022, Agathiyar came to release the pent-up energy that had ponded at Svadishtana. It saw its way up the higher chakras in days, flowering at the Sahasrara eventually.

If, after coming to hold their hands, my life was not in my hands but theirs, carrying out their bidding and tasks given, to their hearts' joy and fulfillment, the Siddhas have since then handed the key to me. After taking charge of me, they have now handed over the right to express myself and do as I wish. I am grateful to them for their faith and belief in me. I am grateful for their grace, love, and compassion. I shall try to live up to their expectations. I shall never let them down, as Agathiyar once told me to walk tall, for only then can he walk tall too. 

FATE & DESTINY

When I was called to come to the worship of the Siddhas in 2002, I had no idea what I was getting into or what to do. But I took it up. Armed with a painting of Agathiyar and a booklet carrying the names of the Siddhas, which Sivabalan and Nadi reader Senthilkumar, the former having brought the latter from Avinashi in India, gave me respectively. I was brought to revive my home puja that had been on hold for some 14 years after Lord Siva came in a dream and asked me to put on hold all my questions as to why people around me suffered, and doubts about whether God was truly loving and compassionate. To know further about their worship, I knocked on the doors of institutions, centers, peedhams, and ashrams carrying the name of Agathiyar. I met fellow seekers on the path in these places. But I was not captivated nor pulled to frequent these places as they did. 

Going on my maiden pilgrimage, I was brought to knock on the door of Supramania Swami on the pretext of having a horoscope reading for my daughter. It was a timely divine intervention for all the following reasons. Why should my wife mention about charting the horoscope just as I was about to leave my house and board the cab that took me to the airport for my flight to India? Why Raji, who was assigned to bring me places by the tour agent, had to fall sick, and why Deva had to replace him? Deva turns out to be Supramania Swami's brother-in-law. Telling him my wife's desire to have the horoscope charted in India, Deva tells me that his brother-in-law was an astrologer in town and brings me over to meet him. And so I met my very first guru in the physical form, a guru who showed me piety and humbleness, love and care, and most importantly, how to behave and carry oneself before one's guru. He showed me Guru Bakti that until then I had only read in books. He had five gurus, namely his father, Jayaraman Pillai, Pundi Mahan or Atru Swami of Tiruvannamalai, Sathanandha Swami of Salem, Kollimalai Swami, and Yogi Ramsuratkumar or Visiri Samy. Now I had all these great souls looking upon me.

But as I was to take up the worship of the Siddhas, Agathiyar sent Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram to Malaysia on the pretext of officiating an affiliate Peedham in Batu Caves. Why should I have kept the leaflet announcing the intent to build a temple for Agathiyar in Kallar by a Thaai Veedu Thangarasan M.A., for whom Sentilkumar had solicited funds, after the Nadi reading? Why should my neighbor, Augustine, pass me extra copies of the Tamil newspaper that he delivered during this period of Tavayogi's arrival in Malaysia? These Tamil dailies carried news of the opening of the above-mentioned peedham, which saw me call up the number and make an appointment to see Tavayogi. Thus began a bond between a guru and a disciple. The bond went beyond Tavayogi, just as with Supramania Swami, to include Tavayogi's guru Chitramuthu Adigal, his guru Jeganatha Swamigal, his guru Ramalinga Adigal, his guru Agathiyar, his guru Lord Muruga, and his guru Lord Dhaksanamurthy.

So was it fate or destiny that brought me this far? I believe that the Siddhas erased my fate and charted a new destiny for me. I was fated to die as a child, but the Chinese Gods saved me after asking my parents to give me up for adoption to them. Coming to read my Nadi, Agathiyar charts my horoscope anew, completely different from what I had followed in all those years. Going back to seeking advice from Dr.Krishnan, who charted my horoscope and was the very first person who revealed about the Siddhas to me, he works on Agathiyar's chart for me and arrives at my time of birth as at 9.25am on Tuesday. But my birth certificate mentions I was born at 3.53am, and my mother tells me the same, that I was born in the early hours of dawn when it was still dark. And so we got to know why his predictions and those of an earlier astrologer, A.M. Doraisamy, who drafted my horoscope in the seventies, never materialized for me. Puzzling right? So which do I adopt then? Dr.Krishnan tells me to follow the Siddhas. If that is puzzling, wait till you read the following.

Going through each Nadi from three stacks, after rejection, all that were in the first two stacks and reading the third, towards the bottom, I came across a Nadi that carried my parents' names, the number of siblings, my career, and my assets. Then the jolt came. My wife's name was mentioned as Manohari, which was not her name. One might doubt that she might have another name. But while my mother was named Annalaksmi, my father, after their marriage, switched it to Valliammai. If this was picked up and mentioned by Agathiyar in the Nadi, he would have mentioned my wife's name too, which he did not. And so we took it as not mine and moved on to another Nadi. I finally found my Nadi on another visit. 

Then, in 2018, Lord Muruga, in a Nadi reading, told me that my fate was changed that moment. And so the Siddhas decided to erase my fate again and chart a new destiny from that moment on. This brings me to recount the times I stood either sick or in pain before the Chinese deities who came in a trance, chanting in Chinese. He would dip a brush in red ink and write on yellow rice paper Chinese characters and burn it, collecting its ashes in a glass of water, and have me drink it.  Similarly, many problems of devotees were burned away, or solutions favorable to them arose after they lit the Homam at Kallar and at AVM. Most recently, Agathiyar told a family to place all their problems into the burning fire of the Homam that he had them lit in my home, and never look back. 

And similarly, the Siddhas, after having sent youths to my home, which became AVM, to walk the phase of Sariyai and after giving us the tools and methods to carry out Kriya and after giving us the practice and techniques of Yoga, had me let go of the association, the rituals and practice, wiping clean the slate, and left me blank and empty and at peace with myself and everything around me. They have brought me to the state of acceptance, fulfilment, and completeness. They let me write my own destiny now. I can pick up any task, as and when required, and they shall endorse it, says Agathiyar. So it is pretty obvious that one can change one's fate and draw up a new destiny, taking the hand of the Siddhas. The Gods and the Siddhas tinker with our fate when we seek them out of devotion and love. The Siddhas take us further, empowering us, never wanting us to be dependent on another, even them, for our spiritual evolution forever. They never possess us but instead show us the way up the ladder. They raise awareness of the soul or Atma in us and rejoice in seeing souls return home. They raise us to the state of a guru and eventually a Siddha too. 

WHO IS A GURU?

I will be 67 years old this year. The five senses, sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch, are enhanced. The sights are clear, bright, and colorful. I can hear beyond the wall, the hum of my neighbor's refrigerator. I can pick up smells that are oblivious to others. Food is heavenly these days, sinking right into the very cells the moment I place it in my mouth. The sense of touch is possible even without touching another. The aura in another is felt, often bringing joy within. My completely white hair is now growing black hair. As this is pretty obvious, Agathiyar asks me how else he shall make others realize the transformation that is taking place within me. 

Adi Sankara is quoted to have said that, “Only through God’s grace may we obtain the three rarest gifts: Human birth; the longing for liberation; and discipleship to an illumined teacher.” The creative Kundalini force, energy, and power in man, who is considered the rarest of gifts, after bringing about the creation of the zygote, embryo, fetus, keeping the child cosy and warm in the mother's womb, goes into hibernation in the Muladhara, continuously feeding the toddler who grows up to be a teen and adult with continuous energy. Sadly, creation that is originally one of beauty and power has been subdued in our eyes by layers of dust and coverings. The soul that masterminds our birth and that was exiled into hiding too, and sent it into the far reaches of the heart's chamber, after the Ego in us dethroned it, longs for liberation. This JeevAtma longs for its lover, the other half and source, the ParamAtma. This longing for liberation of the soul leads one to the guru, or, as Adi Sankara says, an illumined teacher.

Indeed, as Isaikavi Ramanan Aiya says, everyone we meet is a guru. So too have I learned from many others, beginning with my parents, siblings, relatives, and later friends in the neighborhood, school, and workplace. The books became my guru, too, as they carried others' experiences that became mine, too, in time. One such book, "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahansa Yogananda, opened my mind and world to the existence beyond my cocoon, my home altar, and the temples, and introduced me to the concept of living gurus in physical form, which until then I was not aware of. Then, when I knocked on the door to the Nadi reader, I came to know of an existence that was entirely new to me - the Siddhas. Following the Siddhas, I knocked on the doors of institutions that profess the Siddha teachings. I came to know those who favored and walked a similar path. Soon, Agathiyar sent me knocking on the door of Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai to learn what it is to be a good student of a guru. Later, Agathiyar sent Tavayogi to Malaysia, where I knocked on his door. He showed me Agathiyar. Walking with Agathiyar, he showed me his realm and brought down the Siddhas and Gods into our humble homes and into the devotees. He, with Ramalinga Adigal, showed me the Prapanjam. He showed me my Atma or soul, and showed me that we were one. He now wants me to know Sivam. This is what the gurus do. Taking the hand of all upagurus and gurus as mentioned earlier, we come to learn. Later, when going within, taking the hand of our Atma or soul, we begin to unlearn. We then take in the ever-blissful, untainted teachings that Prapanjam has to offer to us. Soon, we shall meet up with Sivam, the source from which we came.

EXPECTATION & ATTACHMENT

We just seem to fall for it, expecting things all life long and then getting attached to them for good, both in the material and spiritual world. First, we look towards achieving high marks and good results that pave the way for a seat in a good institution of learning that promises a good job and career. Then we fall for a girl or vice versa and make all efforts to attain her or him. Then we expect children of our own. Then all our expectations turn towards seeing the children do well, get married, and have children too. It goes on and on in a cycle. 

Coming to the spiritual path, we have lots of expectations and begin to get attached again. When most come looking for salvation or Mukti, I had no expectations, for I knew not what to expect of the worship of the Siddhas after taking up the call in the Nadi. I was blank and empty for Lord Siva had me undergo a period of approximately 14 years, in which he cleared the stockpile of traditional, customary, and religious knowledge that I had acquired earlier. In filling me in again beginning in 2002 with their teachings, giving me rituals and practices, they had me shed even these after some time in 2019. Supramania Swami, Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal, and Agathiyar ensured that I did not become attached to the fruits of devotion that came my way, too.

The remedies that Agathiyar gave me in the Nadi were one-off. Agathiyar never revisited them again. The rituals that both Tavayogi and Agathiyar gave, put into practice and having reaped their benefits, were dropped too. At the height of it all, I had the liberty and freedom to experiment and add or drop methods, practices, and rituals. Both Tavayogi and Agathiyar let me be myself, not imposing on me anything at all. Whatever they told me to do came with an explanation and reason. They justified why I had to do them, never insisting that I do. Most of the time, they endorsed all that I did. Soon they came to bring on changes to these too by taking over and running the show. I stood back, watched, and learned. There was never a class held, but instead they showed me by practical means. I learned from the best mentors. Though they are irrelevant in the current phase, I am told that I could take them up if and when necessary. It was no longer a regime. The Yogic practices that Tavayogi, Agathiyar, and the Siddhas gave were no longer a regimen too. I could take them up if necessary. 

Though right from the start, what appeared as rejection and what appeared as having been chased away, and was hurting, soon dawned on me as a right move taken by the gurus towards moulding me. Right from the start when Tavayogi, after visiting my home for the first time, shot me down, telling me that I was living in Maya, for thinking that Tavayogi was someone extraordinary and special, as I thanked him for his visit to and many more instances where he broke me to when Rengaraja Desigar told me that coming to Ongarakudil itself was a blessing, when all I asked was him to bless me, making me ask myself if I was not fit to be before him, I was prttey hurt. But I came to read later that I was not alone. Yogi Ramsuratkumar had met rejection from Ramdas several times, which had Suratkumar address himself as the "Beggar", before Ramdas took him in. 

In 1947, with a burning desire to realize his innate divinity, Suratkumar set off in search of a master. The search for his spiritual father brought him first to Sri Aurobindo and later to Ramana. Truman Caylor Wadlington, in his book YOGI RAMSURATKUMAR - THE GODCHILD OF TIRUVANNAMALAI, writes that after spending three days with Ramana, he moved on to Swami Ramdas. Truman Caylor Wadlington writes, “However, unlike his meetings with Ramana and Aurobindo, he felt no attraction to Ramdas.” Suratkumar could not bring himself to accept Ramdas’s life of luxury. He returned to his home in Kashi. 

Suratkumar visited Ramdas repeatedly, but he felt the same way towards Ramdas each time he was with Ramdas. Even after several earlier visits to Ramdas, Ramdas did not inspire Suratkumar. When Suratkumar finally accepted and surrendered to Ramdas, surprisingly, Ramdas was not willing and did not receive him well. 

S. Parthasarathy writes on this in his book, BIOGRAPHY OF YOGI RAMSURATKUMAR - THE GODCHILD OF TIRUVANNAMALAI (AMARAKAVIYAM).

Systematically, Swami Ramdas and Mataji Krishnabai made Ram Surat Kunwar behave like a mad man and made the world believe that he had become mad. They drove him out of the ashram forcibly so that he would remember them constantly. They used harsh language whenever he was before them among the crowd of the devotees. By doing so Swami Ramdas and Mataji Krishnabai removed his ego totally. But it took a very long time. In the process, the pain, the sufferings he experienced were acute.

Ram Surat Kunwar again asked Swami Ramdas to allow him and his family to live in the ashram. He said,

“Papa, I have come here with the great faith that you would allow me with my family to live here. I am not able to work anywhere since the initiation. If you drive me away, where shall I go and how can I live?”

Papa vehemently answered,

“Go and beg. You cannot live in the ashram. There are enough people in the ashram to work. Remember, under a big tree, another big tree cannot grow. Only thorny bushes and grass alone will grow.”

Ram Surat Kunwar shocked on listening to the words of his Master exclaimed,

“Papa, should I beg for my food? Am I a beggar, Papa?”

Papa, without answering, went inside. From that day Ram Surat Kunwar called himself a beggar. His Guru, His Master, His God asked him to beg and so he became a “beggar.”

The Yogi has this to say about his guru, once he came to a realization as to why it all took place the way it did.

"Papa (Ramdas) did not allow this beggar to understand Him. The time was not ripe. This beggar had to wait till Papa Himself revealed His Divinity to this beggar, to make this beggar understand that Papa was his Father." 

Just as Ramdas told Suratkumar, "Remember, under a big tree, another big tree cannot grow," Guhai Namasivayar, of Tiruvannamalai, too, drove his student Guru Namasivayar away after he saw his disciple excel in many ways. He was seen fit to be a guru too and was sent away to Chidambaram.

Taking on group Puja and charity and the numerous other tasks given, and receiving the goodies that came along with it, Agathiyar sensed that if left unchecked, we would have become addicted, hooked, and become "high" as my wife said, and intoxicated. He ended it all one day in 2019. And seeing miracles take place, we began to look forward to these moments when the divine came into our homes and performed them. Unknowingly, we began to fall for these and started to expect more moments of interaction with them by way of Nadi readings, visitations, and conversations with them. Just as Tavayogi asked why we needed the Nadi after having held to Agathiyar, Agathiyar asked why he had to continue to come through devotees, as we were one. But it was always wonderful and sweet to the ears to hear him speak through these mediums. 

My daughter passed me a book just as she was leaving for work one morning in 2018. She saw several books that were placed in the giveaway section, "Take One", of the Australian International school library where she was working back then. She had identified three books to her liking, but as she was pretty busy with work could not pick them up earlier. When she eventually dropped by, she noticed only one of the three books was left. The other two had been taken up by others. So she picked the book that she had targeted earlier. She then happened to notice another. She thought I might like it. While browsing through, she came to page 155 of it and read it. When she passed the book to me, she pointed to the page and asked me to read it too. I cried reading it, for Bhagawan Ramana had answered the same. 

The book was "Wake Up and Roar" - Satsang with HWL Poonja, Volume 1, published by Papaji Satsang Bhavan, Lucknow. That particular page carried the story of one Harilal's experience with the divine. Harilal was sitting on the verandah of his father's home in Punjab near Peshawar when a sadhu appeared. Harilal invited him to have a seat while a meal was being prepared. Then Harilal told the sadhu about how he had left the army in search of fulfilling his desire to see God. He explained that he was doing all the rituals and prayers needed to receive their grace and darshan. He had sought the means and ways to fulfill his desire from all the mahatmas he had met, but it was all in vain, as no one could help. Neither could all his spiritual efforts bring him to have Sri Krishna's darshan. Harilal asked the sadhu if he knew of anyone who could reveal the secret of receiving Sri Krishna's darshan. The sadhu replied in affirmation and mentioned that Ramana could fulfill his long-standing yearning and desire. Harilal followed as told. Harilal found himself at Bhagawan Ramana's ashram in Tiruvannamalai some days later. He was in for a surprise, for there sat the sadhu who had knocked on his door earlier. He found the Maharshi seated on his couch. He bowed to him and took a seat. After an hour, he left the hall and prepared to leave the ashram grounds when someone stopped him from leaving, inquiring about the reason for him to make a quick exit. Harilal explains that he had seen Bhagavan at his father's home two weeks ago. He went on to explain to him what had transpired earlier between them. Now, rather angry, he questioned the need for the sadhu to have him travel some three thousand kilometers from his parents' home only to have Bhagawan sit, all oblivious to what was happening around him. Harilal was sore too that Bhagavan was indifferent to him, not recognizing him. Harilal questioned if, indeed, Bhagavan was really able to make him see Sri Krishna, he could have shown Sri Krishna back at his village home. He complained further that Ramana neither wore a tulasi rosary nor did rosary prayer. He hardly murmured the names of Sri Krishna or Radha. 

The stranger who stopped Harilal was taken aback and replied that Sri Ramana never left the ashram nor the town in all his forty-odd years after arriving from Madurai. The stranger persuaded him to stay. Harilal spent several days at the ashram before leaving for Madras. He made fortnightly trips back to the ashram. 

One day Ramana materialized again, this time in Harilal's puja room in Madras. Ramana whispered a mantra in his ears, asking him to use it. Harilal began to recite the mantra. Wanting to clear his doubt, during his following visit, he asked Ramana if he was the one who appeared at his puja room. The Maharishi replied with an indistinct "hmmm-hmmm." Harilal questioned him if he should go on using the mantra, to which Bhagavan replied, "If your heart tells you to." Harilal took to repeating the mantra continuously till a miracle eventually took place. Bhagavan Sri Krishna appeared in front of him as a lad of about fifteen, whose beauty he could hardly describe. Finally, his desire had come true. Harilal's soul experienced great joy such as he had never, never felt before.  

On his next visit to Ramana, Harilal prostrated before Bhagavan. He excitedly mentions that he had seen Sri Krishna in the flesh again. But Ramana coolly replied, 

"Oh, so Krishna came then?" 

Harilal answered in affirmation, to which Ramana said, 

"Then he went away?" 

When Harilal affirms again, Ramana simply answers, 

"Oh, oh!" without any excitement or reaction to the news.

During another moment in prayer, Harilal saw both Sri Rama and Lakshmana. He returned to Bhagawan for an answer, having been disturbed by the vision of Rama and Lakshmana rather than his idol Krishna and Radha. Ramana simply answered,

"Krishna came to visit you and then went away. Rama has done the same. Why are you concerned with gods who come and go? Don't you see, Japa, Mantras, Puja, prayer, and rituals are all excellent up to a certain point. But the time comes when all that has to be left aside. You have to take a leap into the beyond... "

"In the beyond, you find the real only. When everything has been left behind, Devas, along with everything else, can you find the vision which has no beginning and no ending, the vision of being, of the self."

After hearing Ramana speak, Harilal dropped all his desires.

Just as Bhagawan told Harilal, "Krishna came to visit you and then went away. Rama has done the same. Why are you concerned with gods who come and go?", this was what Tavayogi too mentioned to me when I stated my desire to see Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal. 

Tavayogi answered me with another question. 

"They will appear, son, no doubt about it. But is that what you really want?" 

Just as he told, they shall come, we at AVM have had a constant flow of divine visitors and visitations since then. 

Just as Bhagawan told Harilal further, "Don't you see, Japa, Mantras, Puja, prayer, and rituals are all excellent up to a certain point. But the time comes when all that has to be left aside. You have to take a leap into the beyond... in the beyond, you find the real only. When everything has been left behind, Devas, along with everything else, can you find the vision which has no beginning and no ending, the vision of being, of the self?" Tavayogi had me drop my attachment to him even before it could germinate. Agathiyar had me drop my attachment to the following that arose after he sent youths to my home. He had us drop Puja and charity, too, when my wife began to realize that we were getting "high" carrying it out. He had us set aside all of this just as Ramana says. He had me go within and observe the breath while he set free all the others to take up the tools and methods and carry out Puja and Charity in their homes, amidst their family and friends. Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) came to a close. 

Harilal then saw the vision told of by Bhagawan Ramana. He had desired to see God. God had finally revealed himself not somewhere else but so close to him that from that moment on it was impossible to see him and address him as "thou". The light was now shining in his own deepest self. Agathiyar too had me let go of him, asking how else we could become one. He then brings me to where Bhagawan brought Harilal. Agathiyar asked me to know the "Self" or Atma. Agathiyar, in the words of Bhagawan, had me take the leap into the beyond to find the real Self. He has asked me to know Sivam now. 

Similarly, just as Bhagawan Ramana had addressed Sadhu Om, Bhagawan Ramana seems to have addressed my concern, too. When Sadhu Om entered the dining hall and saw that Bhagavan was eating there, he sat in front of him and started eating. When Bhagavan finished his breakfast, he got up from the seat. Seeing this, Sadhu Om also got up, as a mark of respect, although he had not finished eating. Bhagavan looked at Sadhu Om and said, Vandha Velaiyaip Paar (Look after the business for which you have come). Sadhu Om then sat down, but since he had gotten up while eating, he was reluctant to continue eating. Bhagavan, after washing his hands, was walking alongside the dining hall. Seeing that Sadhu Om was reluctant to eat, he repeated the words, Vandha Velaiyaip Paar. Hearing these words, Sadhu Om started eating again. As Bhagavan went near the entrance and was about to pass over the threshold, Sadhu Om turned back and looked at Bhagavan. Bhagavan also looked at Sadhu Om and uttered the same words, Vandha Velaiyaip Paar, for the third time in succession. After three occasions, where Bhagawan reminded Sadhu Om to do what he came for, I too have come to accept the reality and fact of the matter, and shall just do what I came to do and nothing more. 

Through his disciple Sadhu Om's songs, we come to terms with all things and happenings, the blessings and the knocks that we receive, accepting them as his doing. 

I am grateful to my gurus for having faith in me and believing that I could deliver whatever they summoned me to do. I guess I had accomplished what I came to do. I guess I have delivered. I soon learned to let go, too. Today I am empty and void and at peace. I carry no desires. I have made peace with myself. They also do not desire me to do anything further. The score is settled. I have made a pact with them. I am free. No expectations and no attachments, no strings attached. 

BREAKING FALSE BELIEVES

When I came to the path in 2002, seeking to know more about the worship of Siddhas as Agathiyar in my Nadi reading told me to take it up, I visited several movements, centers, ashrams, and Peedhams carrying Agathiyar's name. Soon, I came to hear from those who had left, cautioning me, saying that the Siddhas are dangerous and that they would break up families. I failed to believe that they were so cruel as to split families, just as I had questioned and doubted some 25 years earlier if God was indeed cruel enough to hurt his devotees and children. When Tavayogi came to officiate a Peedham in Batu Caves in 2005, I used to spend my after-office hours and weekends here just sitting in the presence of Tavayogi. That is when one Bala approached me, asking why I came and if I had problems. I replied that I had none and that I came because Agathiyar asked me to come to the worship of the Siddhas. He then went on to say that many came because they had problems. Over the years, I ask myself, as couples went their way, with often only one partner still faithful to the path, while the other stayed away, if what was implied by those who left was true. Similarly, when many came with their baggage and shed their burdens before Tavayogi, I began to believe in what Bala said.

But Tavayogi and Agathiyar proved it all wrong using my wife and me as a yardstick and an example to follow, reinforcing the marriage institution. If in the first three years I took up the worship by myself, not including the family, as I followed strictly what Agathiyar said, asking me to come to the worship and not mentioning the family, with the arrival of Tavayogi in 2005, he told me to bring the family to the worship, which I did after that. Then Agathiyar came as part of my family in the form of a bronze statue in 2010. Beginning in 2013, Agathiyar brought youths to my home to join our monthly Pornami Puja. In opening my doors to them, they watched and participated in the Siddha puja too. 

Then Tavayogi came again in 2016 to attend and bless my daughter's wedding. With Agathiyar conveying the wishes of Tavayogi's guru Chitramuthu Adigal for us to conduct Siddha Puja in a temple in Taiping in a Nadi reading, we then brought the Siddha Puja into the corridors of the temples too. We brought the Siddha Puja into the homes of these youths, with Tavayogi and Agathiyar's statue gracing their homes. Their families, too, began to know about Siddha Puja. 

Contrary to what was spoken of, the Siddhas did not split up families but brought them together in prayer. 

Then Agathiyar surprised my family and me by asking me to carry out my 60th wedding on Guru Purnima of 2024, with him coming to grace, bless, and carry out the rituals. 

Agathiyar trashed the notion that in coming to the Siddha path, the family shall break up by asking us to be an example to others. When he asked to leave my home to go to that of another, he came back shortly after with LobaMa also as a bronze statue, showing us that the Siddhas, too, are with their wives. They are now a pair in my family home that Lord Muruga says is his temple. 

Another family that has weathered and withstood the test of time is that of Sri Krishna and Sri Dewy.

Today, we have shifted our focus to grooming the kids by opening up the floor at AVM for them to take the lead in carrying out Siddha Puja, which is a great change, and which I guess is what Lord Muruga said, that I shall do it differently.

FAITH & MIRACLES

Watching the video THAIPOOSAM - ON THE TRAILS OF AANDI - THE RUNAWAY GOD, reminded me of the moment Lord Muruga did a miracle similar to the many that devotees share in this video. Just as these devotees left their homes to go on a pilgrimage, walking the mile, my late father too left his hometown in Kilsevalpatti, Sivagangai district, to go to Palani. As the walk took days and nights, suddenly a pack of stray dogs surrounded him, ready to attack him. He called out for Lord Muruga to save him. To his surprise, a bee appeared from nowhere and entered the ear of one of the dogs. When it yelped in pain, the rest of the pack ran away. My father was saved. 

When my daughter was studying at the university, she had to walk some distance to meet her friend staying in another block, and as night fell, she could not help noticing a magpie follow her and keep her company. On another day, as she had to head for a hall for an event, a magpie landed some distance before her and hopped up each and every stair that led to the hall.  When she was in Korea for a student exchange program, a magpie kept her company. Later, Lord Muruga came and acknowledged that he had kept an eye on her. 

How is all this possible? 

For the Gods, it is as easy as erasing our fate and painting a new destiny. They paint a new picture of us. And so Mahindren used AI to generate a picture of himself. Seeing that his wife asked for one. Speaking to them regarding their pictures, they wanted to have a go at using AI to generate my photo too. It was just astonishing to see the end product.  

If many see giving food as the highest form of charity and take it up, but for the admind of the YouTube channel "Increasing Frequency", when he is asked "How are you feeling sir?" when he joins in feeding the devotees doing the circumambulation of Arunachala, he replies that "I  feel that I'm feeding myself,  you know when I'm playing the role of feeding the others and I am just feeding myself. And this is so heart-filling when you connect to the divine source that creates all the beings while experiencing  different layers, different perspectives." This is exactly what Agathiyar says of feeding. From https://blog.good-will.ch/WordPress/2010/10/23/rishi-agastya-a-little-miracle-and-some-stories/  we read an interesting piece of information about how Agathiyar fed the elements by serving people food.

Last week I came across a transcription of a seminar given by Sri Kumar in the Nilagiri Hills in 1996 about Agastya, Master Jupiter. ..... He has great, round eyes, is often traveling with his disciples, and loves to cook and to serve. Through serving food he likes to spread himself into the people and thus to adjust any imbalances in the mental, emotional, and physical bodies. In the scriptures, there is the story that once a group of disciples in the Himalaya had the questions who was fasting the most, and Maitreya told them, “It is Agastya, he never eats.” They wanted to see Agastya and went to him.

Agastya said, "Observe me for three days.” They were very surprised to see him cooking, eating, and serving. He was not missing any meal, and every meal was, from our standpoint, very excessive in its quantity. After three days, the group asked, "We have not understood your way of fasting.” He answered: "Insofar as you don’t feel that you are eating, it is fasting.” 

He does not think he is eating. He lives in tune with the universal consciousness, and in such a tune-up, the food is given to all the elementals around him, with himself as the channel. 

THE INSIDE STORY

A temple for Agathiyar is in the making. The blueprint is currently being laid out by the Siddhas and the Rishis. When Agathiyar tells us that he had to summon Tavayogi to do his work in their realm, maybe, just maybe, he may be involved in this temple project and part of the team, too, in their realm. It is said that any discovery unearthed or made on the face of the earth was previously discovered and planned in the realm of the Siddhas and Rishis. We are here only to execute them. 

Agathiyar, as usual, is moving the chess pieces and moving the relevant people who shall bring this temple to become a reality. The temple envisioned by them will cover a vast expanse of land that would include worship of Agathiyar, the 18 Siddhas, and Lord Muruga. It would be quite complete in all respects, and comprehensive, covering Sariyai, Kriyai, Yogam, and Gnanam, with space allocated for lodging, a dining hall and kitchen, a place where rituals are conducted, another for Yoga, and one for meditation. It sounds so wonderful. Already, I can envision it. I am looking forward to it too. 

I just got this inside story hot from the stove just moments ago, from one on the path of the Siddhas since his school days, even before I came to it. The other whom I came to meet recently had held to Agathiyar since 24 years of age. I am the latecomer coming to Agathiyar only when I was 43 years old. When I brought this to Tavayogi's attention, he replied that it is better late than never. I am glad I took up Agathiyar's call in the Nadi to come to the worship of the Siddhas.

BEYOND LOGIC 2

After I had posted the last post, Beyond Logic, I came across a video that amazed me. Professor Ramachandran speaks about the Chettinad history. As my late father hails from Sivagangai District and is a Chettiar, I knew that his clan, being sea farers and merchants, had moved inland from Poompuhar, a coastal town, after the town was submerged in ancient times. What surprised me was when the Professor said that the move inland was mooted by Lord Siva coming to their headman after the clan lost favor with the then Chola king. Leaving Chola land, following Lord Siva's dictates, they arrive in Pandya land, only to be disappointed by what they saw before them. The land was not productive. Going back to Lord Siva and pleading mercy, they are told to dig the ground. They come to see that the land has a high water table; just two feet of digging brings water to the surface. And so life began for them as the Pandya king favored them, too. How is this possible, I ask myself. It is amazing to see God interact with people, guiding them in the past. If Lord Siva had guided the Chettiars back then, it is no surprise that he guides us all till these days in many incomprehensible ways. 

BEYOND LOGIC

Mahindren had asked me if, "In the first few years of travel, did you see it as Agathiyar's guidance? Did you see it as a spiritual experience or take a logical stand?" among several other questions that Agathiyar pushed him to put together and ask me on Chithirai Pornami day when we gathered to conduct puja at AVM.

Logic does not hold water in matters related to the Siddhas. They defy logic and science. One can only watch with awe and astonishment, as I told him. Let me list all that took place that goes beyond logical thinking and explanation.

In sitting before the Nadi reader, he tells me that based on the thumbprint I gave, he had retrieved three stacks of Nadi or predictions of which one could be mine, and he went ahead to read a small portion from each until I agreed that what he read referred to me. Then he tells me that Agathiyar had kept a record of my past, present, and future, and goes ahead to read it to me. The writings, supposedly made thousands of years ago, are copied onto fresh, treated and preserved dried palm leaves each time whenever earlier copies are in a state of decay. The writings are inscribed with the tip of a sharp metal stylus, in the same tradition, since time immemorial, and read by those in the Valluvar clan. He goes on to read out and run my story before me, the past, present, and future. Even before I took up writing my biography in these pages, Agathiyar had already done it. He took me to my past, exposed my present, and showed me my future. What do you make of it? Logic does not hold water here.

Asking me to visit Tavayogi's Kallar ashram, he had Tavayogi take me places that he listed in my Nadi. Agathiyar told me that he would open his eye at Agasthiyampalli. And so I sat with much anticipation, wanting to believe that he would open his eyes in the granite statue of him that is said to have been installed by King Kubera from the Asura clan at the start of Kali Yuga. What do you make of it? Logic does not hold water here. Here stands a statue that is some 5107 years old and still standing, although aged and worn down now.

Photos taken in 2009 by Varadaraj of Bronze Creative, Swamimalai, who made a replica of this statue in bronze and sent it over to AVM on 2 January 2010

Agathiyar opens his eye to look at me, not both his eyes, but only the left. What do you make of it? Logic does not hold water here. The sculptor must definitely either sculpt the statue with both eyes open or with both eyes closed, never one eye open and another closed. And since Agathiyar had "forewarned" me that he would open his eyes to see me, I took the additional trouble and time to gaze long and hard at him as I entered his temple. His eyes were definitely sculpted shut! 

Then he throws in a bonus at our next stop, his temple at Papanasam, which surprised me as he did not ask me to be on the lookout here. He opened both his eyes in his granite statue this time. But it was very much real and human and not sculpted this time around! What do you make of it? Logic does not hold water here. If one could say that, since he had hinted at the miracle that was to take place at Agasthiyampalli, and that my mind was playing to his tune, this time around, he caught me by surprise. My mind was caught off guard!

Agathiyar kept a witness by my side on both occasions. Tavayogi saw it too, for he hurried me out of these places, telling me that they would show their wonder only for a second. 

When he came in the form of his bronze statue to my home, a replica of that of his at Agasthiyampalli in 2010, after having me commission it to be made in Swamimalai and brought over, he opened his eyes in the presence of my family and Jnana Jothiamma, who was visiting us in 2013. My daughter, who took photos of the puja, ran down from her room shortly after the puja was over and, panting and speechless, showed me the photos. Agathiyar's eyes were wide open during the libation or abhisegam that we did. What do you make of it? Logic does not hold water here. 

Even before this, he had on several occasions opened his eyes in his paintings.

Agathiyar, a day before his arrival as the statue, told me that he would walk the ground and bless all those gathered by coming into me, while my soul would enter his statue. Soon, he came whenever he sent a stranger knocking on my door, asking to see Agathiyar's statue. Though they were first-time visitors to us, they were obviously known to Agarhiyar, for he told me later that whoever came by my home asking for him was sent by him. I was to allow them in. And thus he began to use me and my home to carry out his lilas. 

In the wake of the pandemic, when the Nadi readers returned to their homeland, and as both my gurus in physical form had gone into Samadhi, Agathiyar began to frequent his visits, now coming through other devotees too, and continued to guide us further. He still comes whenever the need arises and when we conduct a puja. How do you explain all these?

THE RETURN JOURNEY

The thought came on that if we were to disregard the old, then we would be disregarding our parents and ancestors, too. I guess that is the reason we are all steeped in the past traditions. Traditions keep these memories alive. If we were to disregard traditions, we would be empty. There would be no story to tell and pass on. Living in the moment breaks all these bonds. So what are we to do? Stay living in the past or live in the present? 

If we erase the past, everything is shed. The memories and lives of our ancestors, the towns and villages they lived in, and the many stories that revolved around them. The deities they worship. The texts and books that they looked at. The many personalities they looked up to. The many deities, gurus, and saints whom they worshipped. The ideologies and thoughts of successful men in all arenas, be it material, religious, or spiritual, that shaped their lives. 

Is this where Agathiyar has brought me, too? Is this what dawned on me days ago, that there is no path to follow, but it is we who create one? True, there can never be another Subramania Bharathi, nor Ramalinga Adigal, Agathiyar, Supramania Swami, Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal, Narayanan Avadaiyappa Chettiar, or Annalakshmi @Valliammai Ramasamy. We are only a vague shadow of these mighty souls. We can never fit into their shoes or take up their roles. We would only end up imitating them. It would obviously be a poor imitation. 

I have to be myself. I have to define myself. I have to craft myself. How can that come by? The Self in me, or the Atma, that after seeing the process of my being and its creation, which hid itself, has to come out of hiding to take the lead and show the way henceforth. The Atma in us summons an external guru when we are ready to receive the teachings and practices. Similarly, the energy that brought the Breath or Prana of both my parents together and moved to form the zygote, embryo, fetus, and a child that went into hibernation has to be awakened and has to make the journey back onto the road it came along and to its very source. The guru comes to guide us, and this energy. We then return home. 

REMEMBERING SUNDARA ARUMUGAM AIYA

The late Amarar Sundara Arumugam Aiya was my brother-in-law. His greatest achievement was envisioning and building the Jegathguru Sri Raghavendra Swamigal Miruthiga Brindavanam in Ipoh, Perak, besides the many smaller temples he helped erect when he was in towns like Menglembu and Simpang Empat, in Semangol, while serving with the Public Works department. 

Agathiyar at the Brindavanam