The very moment Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal and his aid Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar came to Malaysia and were brought places mostly to temples to speak, by the host, they observed that we were very much steeped in temple worship. They told me that we should move to Gnanam and began to speak about it. I advised them that they abstain from asking people to leave or drop temple worship and seek Gnanam for they might invite trouble. They stopped speaking on that but instead preached the Siddha way. Indeed, we have been so caught in temple worship that it has become the lifeline of many Malaysians. Though Supramania Swami was asked by a stranger why he was moving away from Gnana back to Bakthi in wanting to build a temple In Tiruvannamalai, a head of a Society that had its origin in Rishikesh and based here had once told that we need temples in Malaysia. This surprised me as it came from someone who was in the state of Gnana too. His reason being both language and temples are our identities. Wipe either and we lose our identities.
It is only the rare saint that can go beyond form and language, race and religion, and hit the jackpot. Ramalinga Adigal was one of these rare gems.
Tavayogi and Agathiyar silently worked on me having me drop my passion, likes and dislikes. But even before that Lord Shiva coming in a dream put an end to all forms of reading, yoga practice and worship and have me hibernate for some fourteen years. In 2001 Agathiyar came to fill this empty vessel and break the knots passing the Vasudeva mantra mysteriously through my nephew. I read the Nadi the following year and met my first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai a year later. Years later arriving at Tavayogi's ashram after meeting him for the very first time on our shores in 2005, Tavayogi had me drop my attachments to all things external. When Suresh from Tiruvannamalai who stayed back after the Pournami Puja several days earlier brought a Rudraksha seed and asked Tavayogi if he could wear it, Tavayogi gave him the green light cautioning him about the sacredness of the Rudraksha. He then turned to me and said "We do not need it my son." I then brought to his attention the Rasamani that I was wearing around my hips, made and given to me by the late Siddha physician and astrologer Dr Krishnan. He told me the same too. Then he chanced to notice the gem studded ring on my finger. I told him that Supramania Swami had asked me to wear it saying that it shall do some good. Again, Tavayogi said that we do not need it. The ring mysteriously went missing momentarily at his ashram. I had removed and placed my valuables, wallets and passport in Tavayogi's steel cabinet under lock and key before following him for a dip in the icy cold waters of the river that flowed nearby having its source in the hills of Ooty. After a thorough search it was found lodged in the angle iron frame of the cabinet. It brought a big relief to me as it was costly. Later sitting before Supramania Swami at his village home in Nachanandhal some eight kilometers from the town of Tiruvannamalai I noticed that one of the nine gems, the Yellow Sapphire was missing. I knew that it was time I removed it. Similarly, I removed the Rasamani too. Tavayogi had me drop my attachment then.
If initially I was going about reciting the names of the Siddhas after the Nadi reader Senthikumar led me on a Siddha puja to please and give thanks to the Siddhas for revealing my life story in the Nadi reading in 2002, after meeting Tavayogi in 2005, he asked that I bring the family too into the worship. Soon Agathiyar came in the form of a bronze statue to my home on 2nd January 2010, after he gave me the specifications and instructions in an earlier Nadi reading in 2009. Later in 2013 Agathiyar brings youngsters to my home to watch and participate in the Pournami Puja after each Nadi reading of theirs. Agathiyar then introduced us to doing charity too besides the rituals.
Then at the peak of all these activities Agathiyar had me drop my attachment to these too then. He had me dissolve the Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia and its charity arm Amudha Surabhi WhatsApp group and go within. At the same time the pandemic that knocked the door facilitated the move to stay indoors and go within. He had me restart the Pranayama practices shown and followed by me since 2007 that was halted by Agathiyar to give me time to recover from the energy surges that came on as a result of the practice. Once it was safe to come out, Agathiyar too visited several homes of his devotees who invited him over where we brought his statue to these homes.
Recently Agathiyar passed on Tavayogi's desire to see each home become Agathiyar Vanam too. Puja was conducted in the homes of interested devotees who initiated it and took on the role of host. Yesterday during one of these pujas, in my daughter's home, Agathiyar conveyed the news that henceforth there would be no puja at my home, Agathiyar Vanam. My daughter and son-in-law shall continue the tradition he said while my wife and I and others who drop by at AVM are to sit in meditation. His statue would move into Mahindren's home. Agathiyar had me drop my attachment again.
If in the early years of worship, Agathiyar offered to gift me the strange and mysterious asking me to come to their caves and abodes and also meet several gurus, I turned down the offers telling him that I had Tavayogi and him and wish not to venture out of my room. I told him that if he wanted to gift me these to pass it on in my very room. Similarly, I turned down their asking to build a temple for Agathiyar and Lord Murugan too. So was it with his offer of the Nadi to use for myself and read for others. I knew that if I accepted any of these I would be caught and trapped for life remaining at that stage, donning the coat of a priest, soothsayer, medicine man, shaman, astrologer, Nadi reader, etc.
When Agathiyar used me to hear and heal those who he brought to knock on my door we begged him to discontinue which he did for some time until he began to knock some sense into me. He told me that he was only using me and my home to look into the matters of others. Similarly, Lord Murugan came in the Nadi reading asking me to step aside and watch as they use me and my home for their divine play. Soon they brought Mahindren into the picture too whereby they carried out Siddhis through him while dissipated knowledge through me. Finally, Agathiyar came days ago telling me that he would not come through me anymore. He would use Mahindren though. He explained yesterday that as I was sixty-three, he had to look for a young body that could yield to their mystical play or lilas. Just like Tirumular took on several bodies they had to move on too.
It is lovely how Agathiyar and Tavayogi have groomed us all these years where we can remain unattached to all the goodness that they showered on us. I am grateful to them for making it all the easier to drop my hold on things. Agathiyar told me that my anger too has to go for he had worked hard on my chakras and raising them to an elevated state and similarly worked on the Jothi within. He does not want his efforts to go to waste. Hence the reason he told me to abstain from talking and say whatever I have to say through this blog. I guess he is asking to avoid direct confrontation and pour my anger out in the writings. He did remind me not to be too harsh with my writing too for it would drive potential seekers away.