When Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal stepped out of my home after accepting my invitation to visit my family home in 2005, I thanked him from my heart for accepting my invitation. I had never had any Godman, guru, master, or religious head come by. All I did was stand in line, as many do, to receive their blessings after these men came by at the local temples and held talks. Tavayogi was the very first Sadhu whom I invited, seeing him accepting invitations to others' homes. We had hardly turned onto the main road in my housing area, where I took the opportunity to thank him for having graced my home, when he came down on me like a storm and a bullet. He said that I was living in Maya. I was thinking he was someone "special" clad in Kavi and had something hidden within this clothing. He declared that he was a Nobody and instead asked me to hold on to Agathiyar, which I did for the past twenty years. At that moment, I was pretty confused seeing his reaction to my sincere appreciation. Today I know why he said that.
Just a couple of days ago, a man who was in the Siddha path for a long time came by my home and spoke of his disappointment with the current head of a Peedham. He had served the former guru and spoke proudly, declaring that he took care of him when he was ailing in his final days. The present guru had, since the demise of the former guru, sidetracked him and began to downplay the many transformations that took place in this man some years back, while extolling the same in others. Saddened and angry, he told me that he had dropped everything. Agathiyar came and asked him where he (Agathiyar) had gone all these years. He could not answer. Agathiyar told him to enter the Puja room at AVM and hug his statue. Immediately, he burst into tears and did as told. As I was a witness to this moment, I remembered that this was what Tavayogi had spelt out to me the very first day he stepped into my home, not to hold on to others but hold on to the source that was Agathiyar.
This made me recall my encounter with Agathiyar, when, after visiting Tavayogi at a local Peedham, which he came to officiate in 2005, and when I fell at his feet, he stopped me and instead pointed me to a pair of wooden sandals that were placed before a large painting of Agathiyar. The sandals symbolized the feet of Agathiyar. I too broke down in a cry and tears for no reason back then.
I am obliged and deeply grateful to Tavayogi and Agathiyar for breaking my hold on all things. He made me walk away from it all at the peak of my fame and popularity. Today, I am mostly alone, keeping to myself and enjoying the things that I previously missed in life. Agathiyar and Prapanjam are fulfilling all my wishes.
For instance as I had many cassettes with me but did not have a player, a friend passed me one. Later, knowing that I had numerous DVDs and a player that did not read them, he passed me one. My time is spent in repositioning my home music system for the best sound effects and clarity, taking up the many recommendations from the YouTube tutorials. At other times, I spent my time with my three grandchildren, becoming a child too. I have food and shelter. People are good to me. The Universe is good to me, which makes me ask what I did to deserve all this goodness. What does a man need more?