Monday 19 November 2018

A MEMORABLE JOURNEY WITHIN - THE YEARS 2002 TO 2018

When Agathiyar asked me to commission his image in the shape and form of his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli, he was only a piece of metal. You would wonder if these were the idols that made their way to the temples and homes, seeing its artisans sit on the piece of rock or bronze metal in my case and carve it eventually to turn into a beautiful image of the divine; knocking, hitting and chiseling to bring form and detail and define its intricate features.














The granite statue of Agathiyar in Agasthiyampalli
So it was written in the Nadi that Agathiyar be made in Swamimalai. Varadaraj and his brothers at their shed at Bronze Creative got to bringing form to a bronze piece. After an in-house prayer that was customary upon completion, Varadaraj performed a puja at the Adhi Kumbeswar Temple in Kumbakonam as directed by Agathiyar. He was then flown to Malaysia. 

On arrival at our shores in 2010, Agathiyar had asked us to chant his name 100,000 times and give him a bath with nine items. My family and friends could only manage 45,000 that day. But Agathiyar accepted it. He was only a metal till then. But he had asked us to give him uru (the spark) and uyir (life). The spark had to come from us. Life had to be given by us too he directed. With continuous chanting of his name over the years and libation or abhisegam to his statue and performing the ritual of lighting the fire pit or homam, the spark became a majestic flame. The metal idol became alive. In 2013, he opened his eyes as he had done at Agasthiyampalli and Papanasam.



The divine has come down to reside in our homes and our hearts. These days the energy is too great for the home and body to contain. Hence Lord Muruga in a Jeeva Nadi reading has asked us to bring it within our control through meditation, harnessing and redirecting the energy within. As the divine presence and its energy is too large to accommodate in a private and individual's home, the need to move has also arise. We do not know how it will take place or where we shall move to as for now. It could be another home but more spacious or develop into a typical temple or be a meditation hall or a traditional ashram or a commune. The Siddhas shall decide for us. 

The very first time I was told to build a temple was during my very first Nadi reading. Agathiyar asked me to help in building temples and build one for him. I was pretty excited then. Going around asking temple committees if they could accommodate a shrine for Agathiyar only proofed a failure. Then the fire died down only to be rekindled by my very first guru Supramania Swami. He mooted the idea and I jumped the wagon. But we were stopped even before we could start building the temple for Lord Murugan, although we had purchased a plot of land for the purpose in Thiruvannamalai. I thought the subject of building a temple was closed as we had taken the initiative then. But it was not to be so.

Fourteen years later in 2016, we had an opportunity to help Tavayogi build his ashram cum temple at Kallar. Recently Lord Muruga asked of me to build one for him in a Nadi reading. I hesitated and dragged my feet in submitting to his wishes for various reasons: Not another temple? Aren’t the existing temples enough? As it is, we are saddened looking at the sad state and condition of some of the existing temples; we see the infighting and fight for control over the management of these places of worship and for want of power, I did not want to go through the runt and problems in managing one. If I was directed to do something alone, I would readily go for it, as I had done all these while; but here was a collective venture where I needed the help of people and involvement of many parties. Above it all, we needed finance to make it happen. 

Seeing me not responding positively to his request, Lord Muruga sends his disciple Agathiyar to convince me into submitting. Agathiyar was always gentle with his words and towards us, in the many Nadi readings we have had with him. If Lord Muruga was commanding in nature, not surprising as he was an audacious warrior as described by P.Karthigayan in his “History of Medical and Spiritual Sciences of Siddhas of Tamil Nadu”, Notion Press 2016, Agathiyar being the grand old man, was humble in his approach and manner. And who did he choose to come into but an old man. He was the father of a devotee. He told his son quietly that his body was aching as if he was going into a trance moments before Agathiyar came into him and delivered his messages, seated on a chair right opposite his shrine at the 80 year old temple of his in Pulau Carey, throughout the seating. 

He motioned me to come up close to him and in a whisper asked if my home was fine? I panicked for a moment thinking what could possibly have happened to my home in our absence. Then I remembered Lord Muruga’s request and figured that he was asking me about the temple. I asked him if he meant that I had to move out and he nodded and told me my home was no more suitable. As I shaked my head from left to right at being cornered into giving an answer to their long pending request, he asked if I would not do it with a disappointed look. 

I saw the same look in the eyes of Tavayogi when try as much as he did to get me to see Agathiyar blink in his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli, I failed to see it. Visually disappointed, he motioned me to enter the inner sanctum on the pretext of taking my photo. As I was about to sit down on the floor, Tavayogi threw me his shawl, asking me to lay it on the stained floor before sitting down. That is when I turned to look at Agathiyar and his left eye was open! He gave a large grin and watched me leave his temple, hushed and hurried away by Tavayogi. 

Now when Agathiyar asked me if I would not carry out his requests personally, not in the Nadi as previously, but face to face, my heart sank low. I felt guilty. But still I kept my silence not wanting to give a commitment. After a moment of silence, he looked me in the eye again and told me, “Fine, I shall do it for you.” What could I say but to thank him and move away. I announce to the others that Agathiyar was there with us and called on them to approach him and get his blessings. When my wife sat in front of him, he told her “It will be done.” She was baffled as she did not understand his statement. When she told me what Agathiyar had said, I answered her that he meant the new premises for him and Lord Muruga will materialize. As I stood in a distance watching the devotees get his blessings, Agathiyar turned to me and gave me a look that I comprehended as he had something to say. I was right. This time he gave me the reasons why my present home was no more conducive. As the home could not accommodate the growing AVM family that gathered during his celebrations, due to space constrains, I had to move. I never questioned him but he chose to explain the reasons to me. He assured me again as he had assured my wife earlier. I thanked him again and moved away. Throughout the whole jaw dropping event he sat in his chair as would an old man and spoke softly and gently. This was the first time we had an encounter in person with Agathiyar.

The first time I had sciatica, Agathiyar told me it was due to my intense yogic practices and asked me to stop them immediately. Since then I have had triggered the sciatic nerve four times between 2011 and now. If the reason for my sciatica a month ago was that I sneezed and pulled the nerve, Lord Muruga tells me that it was his doing and that he wanted me to wind down and sit still.

I see it has a blessing in disguise. I had distanced myself from many events preferring to keep to myself, sitting in the company of Agathiyar. But then being a householder, you are obligated to attend family events and social gatherings. It would be different if I adorned the garb of a sanyasin. Nobody would bother me. The back pain was now a reason for me to drop attending these events. 

To contain the energy that had resulted due to engaging in activities of the nature of Sariyai, Kriyai and Yoga over the years, the divine has brought us to settle down into the state of Mouna Gnana. When thought settles action seizures. When action stops the effects of the planets become redundant. When the planets seize to affect you there is no death hence no more reason to be born again. Then you have achieved what you came for.

When I began this journey on the Siddha path, without any idea of where to start and whom to look to for guidance, like a rudderless ship I did sail from shore to shore, association and societies carrying Agathiyar's name, hoping to anchor somewhere where there might be a glimmer of hope or light that showed or illuminated the way.

But I could not connect with them. And so it was that I picked up Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar’s prayer as mine and asked for a guru to take me along on this journey. The prayer went as follows.
அகத்தீசா உனது சீடர்களாகிய ஒன்பது கோடி பேரும் என்னை சூழ்ந்திருந்து நான் விரும்பியதெல்லாம் முடித்து வைப்பதோடு மட்டுமல்லாது உன்னுடைய மலையாகிய பொதிகைக்கு என்னை அழைத்துவர என்னை சீடனாக நீ ஏற்றுக்கொள்ள வேண்டும். நான் உய்வதற்கு அருள் புரிய வேண்டும். உனது அருள் பூரணமாக பெற்றல் வேண்டும்.
This was my Taraga Mantra. The prayer was eventually answered. Tavayogi came into my life. He took me to Agathiyar’s abodes. He would point out to me that the Siddhas were ushering us, following us, and showering us with flower petals. 

Travelling with Tavayogi to the Holy spots, I noticed that he too had a mantra that he constantly repeated at these places. It was Ramalinga Adigal's wish to see the day when he would enter the state of silence.
இன்று வருமோ நாளைக்கே வருமோ
அல்லது மற்றென்று வருமோ
அறியேன் எங்கோவே
துன்று மல வெம்மாயை அற்று
வெளிக்குள் வெளி கடந்து
சும்மா இருக்கும் சுகம்
Tavayogi would cry each time he sang this verse. I could see his yearning to merge with Erai. 

Having seen many places of interest and witnessing numerous miracles through Tavayogi, I prayed that it was enough as I was convinced. I asked that Agathiyar stop directing me to other gurus and more pilgrimage spots. I wanted him to come to me now. It was not arrogance in any manner but a sincere wish that whatever he wanted to give me or show me in these journeys, be given in my home within the four walls. Again my prayer was answered. Agathiyar came in the form of a statue.

I wanted to spend some private and personal time with him as Nakkirar had wished for in his Vinayagar Thiruagaval. I took up Nakkirar's prayer as mine.
மோனா ஞான முழுதும் அளித்து
சிற்பரிப் பூரண சிவத்தைக் காண
நற்சிவ நிட்கள நாட்டமுந் தந்து
குருவுஞ் சீடனுங் கூடிக் கலந்து
இருவரும் ஒரு தனியிடந் தனிற் சேர்ந்து
தானந்தமாகித் தற்பர வெளியில்
ஆனந்த போத அறிவைக் கலந்து
ஈசனிைணயடியிருத்தி
மனத்தே நீயே நானாய்
நானே நீயாய்க்
காயா புரியைக் கனவெனவுணா்ந்து
எல்லாமுன் செயலென்ேற உணர
நல்லா உன்னருள் நாட்டந் தருவாய்
காரண குருவே கற்பகத் களிேற
வாரணமுகத்து வள்ளலே போற்றி
He created the space and the much needed silence for me to contemplate in the comfort of my home where the guru and disciple could sit in silence and merge in similar thoughts; focusing on the feet of Shiva, the one becoming the other and understanding that all is a dream and that it is all his play through the grace of Lord Ganapathy. 

When Agathiyar introduced me to Tavayogi, Tavayogi showed me Agathiyar and stepped aside for us to hold on to Agathiyar and grow. When Jnana Jhothiamma stepped into the Kallar Ashram her guardian angels Karupana Samy and Mother Goddess handed her over to Agathiyar, stepping back just as they had promised to her earlier. 

Agathiyar who groomed us right from the beginning: bringing us to have faith and belief on him; inculcating high virtues and values in us; asking us to look beyond our needs and extending help to the unfortunate; teaching us the intricacies of the Siddha puja and its associated rituals; bringing us to the forefront and to public attention by asking us to conduct and perform these rituals at temples and public places, after grooming us perfectly has finally handed us to his Guru Lord Muruga, the God of Wisdom or Gnana Pandithan. Agathiyar has carefully guided our souls and today we embark onto the next stage of revelation and spiritual advancement. We look forward to their continuous guidance.

Meanwhile, we at Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) will tone down our rituals for the divine energy is so enormous now that both the body and home cannot contain it. Henceforth we will continue with our routine rituals of libation and homam only on Pornami and Amavasai days. The rests of the Thursdays shall see us sit quietly, contemplating on the divine and imbibe his energy. AVM has officially moved up the rung on the spiritual ladder becoming Agathiyar Tapovanam Malaysia, an honor given by Lord Muruga. We pray that the divine shall lead us into a meditative state and that of Mouna Gnanam eventually.