THE ANSWERS ARE WITHIN

A colleague of my daughter who attended one of our prayer sessions, asked us what we gained by worship of the Siddhas. This question surprised both my wife and me because never have we thought of the fruits and results of our worship and the numerous other tasks given by our Gurus and Agathiyar till this day. 

It is sad to see many equate devotion to a trade. We are so used to expect returns to our investments that we expect the same in worship too. Agathiyar never shows the carrot in our face to moot us to take a step. He would give a directive. Period. It is for us to follow. If he chooses, Agathiyar would fill us in on the benefits and far reaching consequences of worship and prayers, and of the rituals and actions that are given to us to follow or execute, only after many months on into the practice.

When I moved with the downright naive simpleton, I saw the clear and unquestioning faith and belief  they had on customs and practices. They followed the word of the book as bible, hence not questioning the elders. 

On the contrary I was more confused and had many doubts and questions after associating with and debating with learned men and women, who tend to question even the most simplest of instructions.

Although this logic seeking mind questions every instruction, I dropped questioning a long time ago, when Lord Shiva came in a dream and told me to "Reserve all my questions for a future date." All the questions were frozen in ice to die a natural death, during the 14 years of my hibernation that he mooted too. I abstained from all forms of devotion and talk on the subject. 

I am glad that Erai removed me from that scenario for a while to cool down. Coming out of hibernation I am glad that I took up the little instructions that he began to give me after a 14 year lapse, beginning with an initiation into the Vasudeva mantra, hence bringing me to worship Lord Narayana; followed by instructions on observing the Navarathri puja, thus bringing me to the worship of the feminine aspect of energy, Mother Goddess; and then the inclusion of the worship of Lord Dhakshanamurthy, the Adhi Guru. Athough all these came mysteriously, through my nephew in 2001, it was revealed to me many years forward, that it was mastered and initiated by Agathiyar.

A year after, Agathiyar in the Nadi gave me further instructions. He kept filling me through these Nadi readings. Agathiyar keeps giving me instructions till this day, solely for the reason that "I listen and take heed to what he has to say."

When my gurus in the physical form and Agathiyar came to instruct me, when the moment was right and I was prepared to listen, I just followed. Although the logical mind wants to know the reasons and the results of each action done, I would combat it and just carry on with the instructions given, diligently and with discipline.

When Tavayogi asked me to carry out the ritual of lighting the sacrificial fire or Homam, I followed although with some hesitation initially as I knew that this was the domain of the temple priest. I did not want to step into uncharted waters. But Tavayogi gave me the courage to do so and removed the fear. Agathiyar later filled me in sharing the same reason Tavayogi gave me - it was for the behest and good of the Prapanjam.

When Agathiyar asked me to worship him I questioned myself, "Why does he want us to worship him? How can his worship help me?" We need money, we need a job, we need solutions to our problems, we need a cure for our illness - how does worship help bring about all these? Then again, if it is necessary and required to praise him to gain all these, I cannot but equate him then, to the human qualities of ours that seek praise and glamour. Why decorate him with garlands and jewelry? This are traits of man that he is asking of us too. Why do libation or abhisegam to him? How is this helping to bring relieve to the world's problems? Although all these did not make sense at all in the beginning, but I kept on.

Recently, a friend, messaged me: "Why Agathiyar needs fame through people?" In a spur and gush of "wisdom", the following reply came forth. 

When you praise the Lord externally, his Jhothi in you expands. 

It is time you went in for answers. Stop questioning, you will get all the answers from within you. You are your own teacher. 

First of all stop ridiculing rituals, beliefs, etc. All rituals is meant to bring positive and uplifting changes in us. 

Damn the world and others the whole day long, what do you get? There is a sour taste in your mouth, your body emits chemicals that will harm you, and you will have sleepless nights. You will lose your family and friends too. 

See everything as divine you will see drastic changes take place in you.

Agathiyar does not need you to praise him. 

When we have all moved up you will be left behind still questioning. Your doubts will never end unless you resolve to stop all questioning and just follow. 

If you are in the uniform force you will not be allowed to question the commander. If everyone questions his directives on the battle field you will lose the war. You will be killed.

You too have all the answers but you are looking outside or just testing others.

Don't we always give credit to God for all our doings? Appadithaan. Yellaam pugalum eraivanukke. He does not need this fame right? But we give it back to him.

Read my blog. I have mentioned numerous times the benefits of praising God. Yes he does not need you to praise him. He does not need fame. But that is a way of giving back, showing gratitude to him for all he has done for us. For keeping us alive. How do you think you have survived all these years? Acknowledge and give thanks to him this moment. You will never find another moment. If you wait for him to answer all your questions, it might be too late. You won't live long enough to receive all the answers.

If you have fallen into a deep hole, what do you do? I will grab the twine that is available and climb out. That is what we are doing. Agathiyar has let down a twine for us to hold on and pull ourselves up. The twine is prayer and charity. We shall hold on to it till he sends something else, which he will.

The above was a spontaneous answer to his question. It came from within me. As it was rather harsh I thought, I ended with these words, "It is the job of a son to bring fame to the father. Similarly a good disciple will bring fame to the guru. Likewise whatever these youngsters do will bring fame to Agathiyar." I also told him those were not my thoughts but a message for him and prayed that he take heed.

This reminds me of Agathiyar's plea to Lord Narayana for his grace and blessing while it was still possible to sing his praise for you will never know when death knocks one's door.

From being confused over the many readings and discussion on religion and spiritualism, today we are clear in what we need to do, at least for the moment. We take each moment of life at a time. We take a step at a time. The fear of the future is kept at bay by taking care of the task in the present moment. We would give our best shot to the task at hand if we live in the present moment. Otherwise we would rush through the job at hand, to execute another. 

I was told of a healer who used the souls of medical practitioners who had died to heal the sick. He would dig into their "body" and correct the damage done hence healing his patient. I was also told that the souls that came to aid in these "operations" were those who had slacked and taken a care less attitude towards their patients and noble practice during their days of providing medical service.

Taking on one thing at a time brings peace and happiness for that moment. What is time if it is not the total accumulation of many moments. If we can learn to live each moment well, that moment of joy will add up to a life time of happiness. 

Tackling each assignment given for the day has brought us to where we are today. Although the enormous benefit we have unknowingly gained through the worship of the Siddhas is not reflected and noticeable externally in the physical form, internally we are at peace with ourselves. It is only after coming to a state of peace with ourselves that we can be at peace with others. 

The external forms of worship introduced by our gurus and Agathiyar has unknowingly worked internally bringing many manifestations to the soul which Agathiyar aptly calls gaining Atma Balam. The soul that takes on the experience, both the joy and hurt, after a time merges with the spirit (of Erai). The soul that had had the taste of ecstasy and is illuminated will come back to continue the journey on the road to emancipation. Finally the soul takes on the attributes of the divine as it merges with the spirit (of Erai) becoming one. 

That is our goal too. We are taken one step at a time, with Agathiyar giving us a task each day, carefully monitoring our progress. Although giving us full freedom to venture in all new things and pleasures, he holds on to the thin string that binds us with him, giving it a thug if we have stranded or deviated too far, giving a reminder in the form of hurt, illness, suffering but never letting go of us, unless we choose to leave.

The reason we came on this mission is to gain Atma Balam in this physical kingdom of Erai - that is so beautiful if only we took time to notice, if only we let it be in its natural state - and leave for the astral kingdom of Erai that promises oneness with him.

Happy Deepavali! May the light from the array of Deepams lit during this festive season bring a new dawn and awareness on us, towards the long walk with the Divine towards his abode and dwelling.