CREATION, NEAR DEATH & DEATH

In the "Author's Notes" of his work of fiction, "The Shack", Windblown Media, 2007, WM Paul Young writes,

Having spent a rough night in the shack, filled with nightmares, Mackenzie emerges onto the porch in the morning, looking disheveled and disorientated. Papa (God) has breakfast waiting for him, and in silence, Mack sits down but doesn't touch his food. Papa, who acknowledges him and continues to talk, finally stops and says, "You know, Mackenzie, part of your problem is that you don't believe that I am good, and until you believe that I am good, you will never trust me."

The now furious Mackenzie, "finally spits out, "Why would I ever trust you? My daughter is dead!"

Indeed, when we lose someone dear to us, we go into a mode of rejection and anger. I had a relative hit by a car, and she died on the spot in my bachelor days. The husband could not take it and condemned God. We too found it incomprehensible when the accident occurred just minutes after she had prayed at a temple and hailed a taxi as she crossed the road. 

Last Monday, a friend and devotee of Agathiyar was killed in a road mishap while returning home with her family after traveling to the north. The car driven by her husband went off the road and landed in a ditch. It was difficult to stomach the news for most of us. 

Many years back, another family of devotees of Agathiyar met with a head on collision. While they sustained serious and irreversible injuries, their aged mother was killed on the spot. It was a torment to see them come out of this tragedy.

A five year old is knocked down by a car that was reversed in the church grounds and died.

A man who escapes death when he meets with an accident at one junction dies in another accident at the next junction moments later.

A kid who loses his eyesight after been bullied at school dies in a car crash as his father rushes him to the hospital moments later.

A man who loses control and ditched his truck that carried newly assembled cars into a ravine scrambles from the wreckage onto the highway and is hit by another vehicle.

How do we explain all these? How can we possibly console these souls?

On the other hand, a niece of mine came out of an accident with minimal injuries while her car was a total wreck, after going off the road. The deity Karupanasamy later revealed that he, together with Goddess Kali and my niece's paternal great-grandmother, had saved her.

A devotee who had a Nadi reading and was returning home knock into a stationary lorry at a traffic light. Agathiyar, who never gave any inclination about the danger that awaited him, addressed the misfortune in a subsequent Nadi reading, telling him that he had held on to him, hence saving him from any injury. Agathiyar said the same when this devotee slipped while hiking the track up to the Pothigai hills earlier. 

A friend had taken the pain to consult the Nadi and carry out the remedies on behalf of the relative, who was bedridden. Unfortunately, the relative gave up the fight after two years of suffering and passed away. When others mocked Agathiyar for not saving him, Agathiyar, who surprised them all by coming in another reading,  as there is never a reading for one who has died, asked what he was to do when he had told the deceased to uphold his spirit? 

When a daughter asked Agathiyar to put an end to her mother's misery, Agathiyar instructed the family to initiate a Homam. The Siddhas came and took it from there, conducting it. They placed the request to Lord Siva, but Siva did not give his consent for reasons known only to them. She is still surviving till this day, much to her agony.

Another lady was told to be prepared to leave, but after initiating the ritual of pouring milk on Agathiyar's statue at a temple on a specific day and for a specified time, she still continues to walk and breathe. 

A devotee called me in the wee hours of the morning from the hospital wards, asking me to pray for his mother's survival. I lit a lamp and prayed. She survived the ordeal. After five years, I received a call from him at the same hour and place. She was fighting for her life again. Agathiyar reminded him not to outsource prayers but to take them into his own hands. She died shortly after. When the son was saddened by her demise, the soul of his mother came through one of his siblings and told them that she was in a safe place and with her guru, Shirdi Sai. 

When a family went through much suffering and troubles, I candidly told the lady of the house that her story had all the elements and components to make a full-length movie. When I was figuring out how I could help, Agathiyar, coming through a devotee, asked that they light a Homam and place all their troubles into the burning flame. They regained their joy and happiness. 

When a man was held by the authorities after he innocently loaned his car to his friends, who were caught in possession of drugs, his wife rushed to Kallar and performed a Yagam on the advice of Mataji. As the truth was on his side, the man was released as he could not be implicated in the case. 

When an officer was suspended from work while investigations were going on, and since his passport was held, and he could not travel to Kallar, Mataji suggested that he join my family's puja. As the truth was on his side, he was reappointed to his former job shortly after.

When another officer was being investigated Ramalinga Adigal coming through a devotee first asked him if he was innocent. He then pointed him to the deity Karupanasamy who cleared the problem for him.

When Tavayogi was admited at a private hospital, and returned to his Kallar Ashram safe, Agathiyar in my Nadi reading told me that the Siddhas had gathered to perform the Yagam so that he could have an extension. Once back, he settled outstanding matters and handed over the running of the Ashram to Mataji and taught her to read the Jeeva Nadi, which continues to be the rice bowl for the Ashram to sustain. He passed away after a year. When I was at his Ashram in 2005, for the very first time, he brought out numerous Nadis and read a transcript of his daughter's Nadi reading where Agathiyar comforts the child that upon his demise, Lord Siva and Paravathi would take his soul away in a Pushpaka Vimanam, "a mythical aerial vehicle described in the ancient Hindu epics," to their abode. A devotee had a dream after his demise, where she saw Tavayogi and several others ferried across an ocean of water in a boat by Lord Siva towards a hill crawling with Siddhas and Rishis going about their work. Dhanvanthri, coming through a devotee, told us that he had attained the state of Light. Later, Agathiyar, coming to assist and guide us further after his demise, told us that Tavayogi was doing his (Agathiyar's) work in their realm. 

How do we explain all the above? As we read in "The Shack", "The Shack wrestles with the timeless question: Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain?", many like the above have seen pain and suffering too. And equally many have been saved, too. Why then are exceptions made for some but not for others? Why are some lifespans prolonged while others are taken? No one can truly fathom the mysteries that surround creation, near-death, and death. 

STORIES

A friend and reader from the UK wrote me the following this morning.

Thank you very much for your message. I have taken some time to digest it as a number of things have been happening….the one within, is He the one you would call Agasthiyar….dare I say openly that this is my experience and understanding, that Agasthiyar is the one within!?

Just as WM Paul Young writes in his "Author's Notes" of his bestseller "The Shack", Windblown Media, 2007, that was later made into a film of the same name, that he and his friends never anticipated the success of his book and equated it to a "God thing", I too never imagined that this blog would have a wide readership. 

Readership in the past week

What started initially as a memoir of my travels, which are just a few baby steps on the path, would make big strides when Agathiyar gave his blessing to write, first on the external travels and later on the internal travels that culminated in the fulfillment of what he described as the journey in his own words of discovering him, that he had me take note and read out to the devotees and guests at my 60th wedding initiated and conducted by him during Guru Purnima of 2024. In asking us who Agathiyan is, he explains the journey of transformation into him, or rather, to rediscover him in us. He poses the questions to us and answers them as well. The original was in Tamil. A translation is given below.

"Who is Agathiyan?

You are. I am. True. We all are Agathiyan. The Jothi or flame in us is Agathiyan. He resides as the fire, flame, heat, and warmth in us. He is Esan. He is the Esan who resides within.

Why is it that we do not realize nor feel him?

It is because we have not attained the state of preparedness or readiness to realize him. Once our soul attains this state, we shall begin to realize him.

How can we attain this state of preparedness?

First, we have to travel this path. We need to travel to the places and abodes of the Siddhas, witness their miracles, enter the states of bliss, and bring back these feelings and work on them, nurturing them. The Siddha shall come down. When we follow their directives they shall walk with us holding our hands. This travel then shall not be that of an external but of an internal journey. Yoga is the key to this travel within. From Sariyai arriving at Kriyai, now they shall teach Yogam. The journey within shall begin. You shall witness happenings. You shall see many things. It would be puzzling to you. It would be new to you too. Continuing this internal journey, you shall arrive at each Chakra and eventually see the cosmic dance of Thillai in Sahasrara. A 1000-petaled flower will keep on opening up continuously. Arutjothi will come to reside here. Then its effulgence enters within, and just as how the Kundalini upon awakening traverses each Chakra purifying them, this effulgence brings on the shine and luminosity in them. Jothi Darisanam takes place where one sees the light or effulgence. The body takes on the same. Vibrations begin to emit within and around us and are felt by those tuned to receive and feel around us. They shall follow you. You become a Jeeva Mukta, having attained Mukti while living in the flesh. Henceforth you are no different from Agathiyan and Agathiyan is no different from you. You are me and I am you."

Just as Agathiyar mentioned, after going through all the aforementioned phases, stages, and transformations, a simple question on the deity Karupanasamy that came from my daughter, who had seen the recent movie on him, "Karuppu", prompted the divine energies to come within me, last Sunday, giving me a sampling of what Agathiyar describes as "Vibrations begin to emit within and around us".

This blog is all about stories, right from myths and legends to real-life experiences and encounters of all those who came into my life, and what I came to know from others, and that of mine, too.

WM Paul Young writes that "Every human being is a story, and when we share the stories of our lives, we are talking about Holy Ground where the dust of creation with fire that refines, the activity of God in the wonder of our humanity." He continues stating his belief that "God is good all the time and involved in the details of our lives, in ways mysterious both gentle and confrontational"..... "often behind the perceived and playing in the nudge, a hunch and idea that pops into our awareness" and that "all human beings hear God for themselves but it is in each persons unique language often so normal to each of us that we discount it." 

We are trying to break down the doors with logic, science, and understanding, but rituals and prayers reach out to the divine and bring them to open these same doors from the inside without any damage. 

THE DREAM

I have come one full circle or back to the start of the cycle. In the eighties, in my bachelor days, I had questioned why relatives, friends, and devotees went through misfortunes. I was subsequently asked to keep my questions for a later date by Lord Siva, coming in a dream. I only got the answers after I went for my Nadi reading in 2002, where Agathiyar, spoke about my Karma. I understood the reason for things to take place in their lives and mine too.

In recent times, seeing a spate of misgivings and misfortunes that relatives, friends, and devotees of Agathiyar are going through, the question has resurfaced again as I and others question why Agathiyar kept silent, watching, not forewarning nor interfering or preventing. The answers came this time around, after watching the numerous videos uploaded frantically to YouTube by astrologers and Nadi readers since the commencement of the planetary movement or transit of Jupiter recently, and its resulting impact on Saturn who chose to put to test many the past years. 

Following this, I understood why I was the way I was and why others interacted the way they did towards me, too. I could accept myself and others too. I could accept all that took place. It is clear that we are governed by the stars and the planets and affected by their movements after past Karma brings about our birth and existence.

A wonderful mechanism is in place to see through the divine play. Yes indeed it all seems like a play and we are pawns in the hands of the divine. It makes one wonder if this play is part of the dream that we are living as poet Bharathi questioned. If so, even our supposedly search for enlightenment is a part of this dream world too, right? Then it would be akin to chasing a dream or one's shadow or one's tail. We end up coming in circles. Are we caught in the net of Maya that we have woven forever? Are we condemned to and not supposed to come out of this vicious cycle? Where does all this lead us? Who has these answers?

Only the true and original 18 Siddhas  who freed themselves from its hold can win over this game, as we have read and told. But they chose not to interfere, but let the divine play go on. I guess they are bringing us to a state of acceptance and with it bringing us to settle in peace and die in peace.

THE WONDER OF LIFE

I am there, and I could not agree more with Harry Owen. (https://harryowen.co.za/) of what he says of life.

Love, loss, friendship, nature, memory - they all shape us. They leave their marks, their ache, and their beauty. And maybe, in the end, a life well lived is not about holding on tightly, but learning how to love what is here, while we have it, and to gently let it go when the time comes.

Growing older teaches us many things, but sometimes it also asks us to remember what we once knew so naturally - how to play, how to wonder, how to stay open to the world around us. There is a quiet kind of wisdom in innocence, and perhaps we spend much of our lives trying to find our way back to it.

I have arrived where I had started and found him. While I looked elsewhere, he was at home all this time. The last time he came around, Agathiyar told me,

"Be prepared. It is time to leave with me. From this day henceforth, you shall be pure. Live a life not as Shanmugam but as Agathiyan. Realize Sivam. This next phase shall be challenging."

தயாராக இரு. உன்னை நான் அழைத்துச் செல்வேன். இன்று முதல் நீ புனிதன் ஆனாய். சண்முகமாக அல்ல. அகத்தியனாக வாழ். சிவத்தை உணரு. இனி இந்த அடுத்த பயணம் உனக்கு சவாலாக இருக்கும்.

LIFE & ITS PURPOSE

Agathiyar had the phases outlined clearly, not through a text or through sitting through discourses. He made it known only after we had persevered in walking the path. 

To know the purpose in taking birth as a human. 

To know him, first through a form and name or Udal.

To know him as the Breath or Uyir.

To know him as the Prapanjam. 

To know that he and we are one. 

To know the Atma, soul, or self as him.

And to know Sivam as him. 

This was not an evolution or transformation from one phase to another. It was a revelation that came by in shedding the veils that covered the guru within, the self, the soul, the Atma.

If I had thought that we came here to discover our purpose, I have come to realize that the purpose was predetermined by each soul even before taking birth. What we are doing is already living it. 

We learn from Disney's "Encanto" that when Mirabel questions Bruno, who sees visions, about his vision of the Casita collapsing, Bruno explains that the future isn't a fixed destiny, but that the future is uncertain, that there is no one answer, no clear fate, like the future is undecided.

"But the vision was different. It... it would change, and there was no one answer. No clear fate. Like your future was undecided..."

Just as a software patch is routinely released by developers to update, fix, or improve a program, the Siddhas come by bringing on an upgrade, leading to a new destiny, and adding on new features to the fate that we had originally purchased, signed up for, and acquired at birth. Likewise, the Siddha comes along, showing us a guru in physical form, just as Agathiyar did through my Nadi reading. Or it could be seen the other way, too, where the guru shows us the Siddhas, as Tavayogi showed me to Agathiyar. He who lets us explore our true self or being is indeed the true guru. Tavayogi and Agathiyar were such a guru, never feeding us from a silver spoon nor teaching us by holding discourses or online classes. Tavayogi showed us the path and the way, and had us tread on it, walking along with us and bringing us to learn how to navigate the tough terrain that we occasionally encountered. Agathiyar came later to either endorse our learning and experiences, and many a time, helped me out of the sufferings and pain that resulted from the opening of the Muladhara that came through the Yoga practice that he had gifted me through Tavayogi. Both Tavayogi at the very beginning and Agathiyar towards the end would knock some sense into our otherwise delusional perception and understanding of, not the material world, but surprisingly, our understanding of the spiritual field and terrain that is equally clouded by Maya. They come by to reveal that we, as the Atma or JeevAtma, are a part of the larger Atma, ParamAtma, or Param, and that we join hands with the Param in bringing about creation, sustainance and destruction that is seen all around us. We are powerful tools of God, a manifestation of the creative force that is all around us. Once we come to acknowledge their presence and surrender to the divine, they bring us to know our soul or Atma, our individual soul that previously went into hiding after orchestrating our conception to childhood. Henceforth, the soul comes to take the lead, taking over from our ego, which once reigned. 

In asking me to come out of my cocoon and take up my purpose and role of a Spiritual Catalyst or a Catalytic Spiritual Teacher that was revealed through a reading of the "Spiritual Numerology of Moses," or better known as the "Soul Contract Reading" by Roshan, only recently, and which Agathiyar came to endorse later, I guess I have unknowingly lived through this purpose. Both Tavayogi and Agathiyar had prepared me to fit the role over the years.

Just as the Pulligal or Lonchura Punctulata, or commonly known as Pipit, which surprisingly turned up at my home garden the very day Agathiyar told me to feed them in my Nadi reading, decided to suddenly leave mysteriously after a long time, after having served their purpose, I guess, I too am waiting for the day of departure, for I feel my purpose is done here. If I were to remain longer, I fear that I might err and create fresh Karma that shall bring on another birth. Or the gods might give me another birth as a reward for the good that I might continue to do further. 

Life is like a game of Snakes and Ladders. All the possibilities are there, and anything can happen anytime. One moment we rejoice, the next we sulk. We are already living our purpose in coming, not that we have to only discover it here. And so it is all his design and play, or Lila. We are only living our roles. What has to happen has to happen. Even the well-learned, most religious, most spiritual, have succumbed to illness and died. We eventually learn that nature is in control and learn to respect nature and its dictates. 

The reason we are here is to learn to let go rather than latch on to things. Agathiyar had me let go of everything, rituals and charity, the following and the authority and respect that came with it, and every addiction, even to him. Only then could we become one, the Yegan, he reminded me. 

We are here to learn acceptance. Acceptance brings inward peace and harmony. We then become Sivam, the state at the last rung of the ladder, which Agathiyar spoke about attaining.

At 3.26am, a friend from the UK sent me the following, which sums it all up beautifully. 

ME

If the Nadi reveals the reasons for us taking birth, often due to the accumulation of past deeds, both good and bad, where in the former we come to reap the rewards and in the latter to atone for it, and at times to satisfy the wishes of others who were with us in a past birth, and at other times to see through the desires of the soul itself to learn and experience, or for a specific divine purpose as in the upliftment of other souls, astrology reveals one's nature to the core. If I had seen the Nadi some sixty times, recently I began to follow the many revelations on the net that came in the wake of the transit of Jupiter or Guru that was being debated extensively by astrologers. True to what was said, it revealed my nature and made me understand why I was the way I was and why others were the way they were towards me. 

"ஜோதிடம் என்பது நம்முடைய குணங்களை புரிந்து கொள்ள உதவும் ஒரு வழிகாட்டி. அது நம்முடைய எதிர்காலத்தை முழுமையாக முடிவு செய்யும் சக்தி அல்ல. நாம் எடுக்கிற நல்ல முடிவுகள் நாம் செய்யும் நல்ல செயல்கள் நாம் வளர்த்து கொள்ளும் நல்ல குணங்கள் இவைகள தான் நம்முடைய வாழ்க்கையை உயர்த்தும்."

"நீங்கள் தனியாக இருக்கிறீர்கள் என்று நினைக்கிற ஒவ்வொரு நேரத்திலும் ஒரு விஷயத்தை மட்டும் மறந்து விடாதீர்கள். உண்மையான பக்தியுடன் இறைவனை நினைக்கும் மனிதன் ஒருபோதும் தனியாக இருப்பதில்லை. சிவபெருமானின் அருள் இருந்தால் இருளாக தோன்றும் பாதையிலும் ஒளி கிடைக்கும். நம்பிக்கை இருந்தால் சோதனைகளும் சாதனைகளாக மாறும். பொறுமை இருந்தால் காலமே உங்களுக்கு சாதகமாக வேலை செய்யும்."

LIFE'S MANY MOMENTS

When my parents lost two of my older siblings to diarrhea back then, when they were toddlers, and when I succumbed to it too, they rushed me not to the hospital this time, but to our Chinese neighbor, who went into a trance and saved me, asking only that I be given in adoption to the gods. I now had a Godfather and a Guardian Angel assigned to me. This was in the early sixties. 

Later, as a bachelor, when those around me suffered sometimes in the hands of the very gods and goddesses whom they worshipped, I was confused and angry, for I was told that God was loving, kind, and compassionate, but it did not seem that way. I needed answers. Lord Siva, coming through a dream, asks that I keep my questions for another day, bringing me instant relief from my grief in seeing others suffer.  I took a long break of approximately 14 years, equivalent to Sri Rama's Vanavasam, or his exodus into the forests after being exiled from his palace. The eighties then saw me drop my home worship and temple visits and focus on my new career and start a new family.

The 1990s saw me develop an interest in reading about the Hindu religion, its culture, traditions, and practices in society. I also took a keen interest in learning about palmistry, astrology, and numerology, as well as the practice of Yoga asanas, from books on these subjects. The ground was prepared for me to begin to walk the path of the Siddhas that was to come soon with the turn of the century.

In coming to read the Nadi, Agathiyar came into my life, or so I thought, but he revealed later that apparently we have known each other for crores of years. He took charge of my life, changing my fate and rewriting my destiny, as I listened to his directives that came by way of further Nadi readings, as many as sixty. 

Bringing me to Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal in 2005 and traveling the journey with him, Agathiyar showed me the abodes of the Siddhas. In taking up the Yoga Asanas and Pranayama that Agathiyar had Tavayogi show us, gifting me what he calls a treasure, in 2007, I saw the surge of Prana come within, and eventually open the Muladhara. As Tavayogi foretold that our efforts would only bring us to Svadishtana, the Kundalini energy that arose stagnated and pooled at Svadishtana beginning in 2010. As it needed the guru to break the bund and release the pent-up energy to travel further, Agathiyar in 2022 came to my aid. The flowering took place. 

Agathiyar sheltered me from the storm throughout my life, saving me from drowning in the floodwaters. How do I repay him?

Thinking Seva or service to him in all future births would be the right thing to ask, but he questions if that was what I wanted, bringing me to rethink my wish. Thinking that Gnana was the appropriate thing to ask, he tells me that it was not gifted, but I had to earn it, walking the chakras to reach the Sahasrara, where one would then come to know what Gnana was, thus dispelling the common belief that Gnana shall dawn automatically once one reaches this chakra. One now has to travel the return journey, tapping into the Prapanjam and consciousness. He has to fulfill his purpose in coming here. 

In having me read my "Soul Contract Reading," also known as the Spiritual Numerology of Moses, "that decodes the Spiritual Map of One's Life", so you can align with it and manifest your soul purpose, he pointed out to me my purpose in coming here as that of a Spiritual Catalyst, a catalytic spiritual teacher. 

Teal Swan writes at https://tealswan.com/resource, giving a detailed description of this term.

"A spiritual Catalyst is a person who precipitates an event or a change on the level of spirit (the essential, incorporeal part of someone or something). Spiritual Catalysts, like gurus, have attained a high level of spiritual authority, awareness, and knowledge, which enables them to guide others. Spiritual Catalysts, however, do not aim to become “Leaders” to their disciples as much as they wish to cause their disciples to question and find answers within themselves. It is the firm belief of a Spiritual Catalyst that if a person is caused to initiate their own exploration on the level of spirit, that person will then become the conscious leader of their own life. It is also the belief of a Spiritual Catalyst that if a person becomes the conscious creator and leader of their own life, that their life will inevitably become a kind of living enlightenment; thereby allowing that person to live in a continuous state of internal peace and joy."

Shall I do justice to this purpose? Only time can tell.

BIRTH, FATE & DESTINY

Watching the video, the compere mentioned a verse from the song penned by poet Kannadasan, that goes "In the beginning birth was not in our hands, and all subsequent happenings too were not ours (to take credit for), when the path is already laid, (why fear to walk) walk it, and all sins shall vanish.

ஆரம்பத்தில் பிறப்பும் உன் கையில் இல்லை
என்றும் அடுத்தடுத்த நடப்பும் உன் கையில் இல்லை
பாதை வகுத்த பின்பு பயந்தென்ன லாபம்
அதில் பயணம் நடத்திவிடு மறைந்திடும் பாவம்

I had written in my last post that each and every incident and event has been taken into account in the grand master plan and the lila, or play, of the divine. We are just living these moments. If this is so, and we are to live our roles as in the role-playing games, the question arises as to why Agathiyar stood before Lord Brahma asking him to show leniency and mercy on us and change our fate. I ask myself why he had changed the planetary positions of mine at birth, for what he revealed in my Nadi reading based on my thumbprint in 2002 differed from that which was charted by the earlier astrologers. Lord Muruga, in another reading in 2018, told me that he had changed my fate (again?) that instant.

Though I had studied from books on numerology, palmistry, and astrology, and read about gems and their healing effects, and read on Siddha medicine too back then in the nineties, I have only come to understand now, at the age of 67, why I was disturbed and saddened by the happenings and events that surrounded the lives of friends and relatives as a 20-year-old in the eighties. Only recently, in following the many videos on YouTube that I came across in the wake of the transit of Guru or Jupiter, I came to understand my nature and why I was the way I was, and why others reacted the way they did to me. The planets took charge of my nature and subsequently determined all that took place, and at times undermined the benefits and results that were to come my way. But Agathiyar sheltered me from the storm to the extent that I never realised a storm was brewing. Only now, when the storm had subsided, did I open the door and look out of my secure home at the devastation that had taken place in others' lives. 

It is said that the Siddhas approached Lord Brahma and voiced their concern for the sufferings of humanity in the days of the past. Velayutham Karthikeyan Aiya, the admin and author behind the blog "Siththan Arul", brings us back to time immemorial when the Siddhas, being compassionate and kind, put forward to God their wishes for humanity. The Siddhas had wished that whoever sought them out for solutions to their problems and surrendered to them would be pardoned for their past deeds, however bad and evil they may be, and would not be put through the trial and tribulations and made to face the consequences, but instead be saved. Though Lord Brahma hesitated, Agathiyar did not give up on his devotees and insisted that Lord Brahma change their fate. In humbly requesting that Lord Brahma change the karma of all those who came seeking him (Agathiyar), as he had given his word to them, he sought Lord Brahma's promise that he would not harm any of his devotees. When Lord Brahma granted Agathiyar this wish, the next instant the Siddhas wrote down the reasons for each individual’s sufferings; listed out solutions and remedies; and showed ways and means to overcome or end the seeker's problems, sins, diseases, illnesses, and sufferings in Tamil prose on dried palm leaves, which came to be known as the Nadi. 

Karthikeyan Aiya adds that the Nadi has been written by Siddhas for us to know about our past, the present, and the future. 

“The Siddhas are those who know the past, present, and the future. They were gnosis. The Siddhas were similar to a company’s secretary. The Siddhas were God’s messengers. When those who had prayed to God and had yet to receive God’s blessings approached the Siddhas instead, they immediately received God’s blessings.”

One only has to seek out the Siddhas to solve one's problems. Many have atoned and corrected their lifestyle after listening to the explanations and heeding the instructions. Many more had regained their health and peace of mind. Though what we go through is part of the game, the Siddhas come into our lives as the game changer, often pleading with Lord Siva, just as they begged of Lord Brahma. It is all because of their love and compassion towards us. Besides this, Agathiyar gave all of humanity a set of tenets to uphold and follow. He presented the five tenets to mankind at the Tamil Sangam, so that mankind would gain salvation. They are said to have initiated human societies of that era into the age-old cultural order known as the Siddhar Neri. They imparted wisdom to their people and passed on the knowledge of medicine to many. The Siddhas strove to elevate the human species to the nature of the Gods. This is true of them, for till this day the Siddhas have never given up on us, although we tend to give up on them in the face of adversities. 

But at times, we do not see the said results or the changes that Agathiyar and the Siddhas had told us. At other times, the word does not come in as we desperately await it, and are in dire straits and need of solutions. The question arises, then, whether Agathiyar had deserted us. 

Someone had messaged me asking to read the Nadi recently. This is not the first time it has happened, for many think that since I have written extensively on the Nadi, I own the Nadi and read them. Though Agathiyar had offered me the Nadi back then, I refused it as I did many other gifts that came my way. Though I am no authority on the Nadi and do not own one, I guess I can picture what takes place behind the curtain to some extent. Either the Siddha is withholding, refusing to reveal the reasons or solutions, awaiting the right moment for reasons only known to him, or the Nadi reader, in playing god, is withholding the news, although the Siddhas have made it known in these Nadi. Eventually, it all adds up to our previous understanding that it is all a divine play, and we are puppets in their hands and at their mercy. The only way out is to accept whatever comes our way, surrender, and pray hard that the Siddhas manage to convince Lord Brahma and Lord Shiva to change our fate for good. 

BRIEF MOMENTS OF BLISS

I came to understand that many things and events have to happen to exhaust our past Vasanas and those of others who come into our lives to settle past scores after reading the Nadi. Later, when I was grieved for my past actions and sins, Agathiyar said that he had pushed me into doing them. It was for want of those experiences, too. If the late Nadi reader of Chennai, Hanumathdasan Aiya, had shared stories of those who came by to read the Nadi, to Velayudham Karthikeyan Aiya, who later posted them to his blog Siththan Arul at https://siththanarul.blogspot.com, and which were subsequently published by Aranthangi Sankar Publications in 5 volumes, as "Nadi Sollum Kathaigal", these days there is an influx of Nadi readers have come before the camera to share further, such stories on YouTube. Going by some of these stories, it drives home the point that there is no accident, nor anything of our making, and taking credit for it. Each and every incident and event has been taken into account in the grand master plan and the lila, or play, of the divine. We are just living these moments. 

Just as the BBC documentary hosted by Sir David Attenborough goes by the title, "A Perfect Planet", all is perfect with all of creation accepting them, except for man, who looks for and only sees the imperfection and tries desperately to improve the situation, often bringing on disaster and destruction. As Lao Tzu says, to go with the flow, we should learn to go with the flow to stay aloof and afloat. Otherwise, we shall be pulled by the current and sink further into the whirlpool. 

Agathiyar has kept me sheltered, except for a few good men around me. I have been trying to adopt a stand of non-interference, too.  Try as I may, Agathiyar keeps sending people knocking on my door or calling me or messaging me, sharing their grievances. If previously, having connected me to the Prapanjam, I get to pause and listen to the sound of nature, watch nature in all its splendor, colour, and beauty, he asks that I listen to peoples grieviences too. In me listening, he listens and takes the necessary measures to bring relief to them.  If he had come through devotees speaking to us and dining with us and listening to the songs that I enjoyed playing earlier, today, he cherished the food I took, bringing on tears of bliss. Besides these brief moments of bliss that overcome me, I am delighted further when I come to know that this blog has reached a large following of readers, as the statistics for the past week show. Thank you, readers. I love you.

MOVING ON

First, it is the paper chase, then we chase the rest. We all dream about doing something, setting a goal, and working towards achieving it. In a world that is fast and furious, that wants instant results like instant noodles, we attend to everything as if it were a life and death matter. We forget to slow down, enjoy the moment at hand, and take in the bliss that comes through the senses, which are in direct contact with everything around us, and register them. The mind digests whatever is fed through the senses, then. Then it plays its game. This is Maya, that which is not real and never was a reality.  

Coming to spirituality, another chase of sorts begins. We are so preoccupied with our thoughts and figuring out what to do next, while the saints have emptied their minds and allow the divine to work through them. Even if they do interfere, it is done without raising a finger but by raising their thoughts and connecting with the Prapanjam, which then does wonders. There is no direct confrontation. They use the access that they have to Prapanjam and its mysteries to solve our troubles. As my daughter believes, Agathiyar, in asking me to be his eyes and ears, listen to the problems and sufferings of others, is using me as a postbox. He then sets things right for them. The family always had a practice of writing down our wishes and placing them before him. If, at the beginning, he had us go on pilgrimages and carry out remedies to shed our Karma, most recently, he showed us how we could burn all our sufferings in the fire of the Homam personally in our own homes, and asks that we do not look back, but move on. 

Agathiyar, who initially appeared as the spoken word in the Nadi, entered our homes the moment we began to call out the names of the Siddhas. In carrying out the fire ritual, Homam, they laid the bridge and crossed over to our realm. In inviting them and serving food and delicacies as we would entertain our guests, they sat with us to dine. In joining them to sit in meditation, they cleared the chakras. In having us carry out Asanas and Pranayama, they aroused the energies within, bringing us to higher regions and experiences. The important thing I have come to learn here is just as the energies stagnated in me and Agathiyar had to come to my rescue, we should not stagnate at any of these phases of experiences, holding on to image, form, name, authority, fame, followers, movements, centers, societies, temple, ashram, or Peedham. I guess I had held on to these in my previous births, hence the need to keep coming back crores of years, as Agathiyar says. Both Tavayogi and Agathiyar went further in asking me not to get attached to them personally, too, but to let go. In letting go, we become the One, Yegan. There is no duality. We step out of Dvaita into Advaita.

As I penned this post, a reader wrote in the following.

Thank you, Aiya, for keep writting. Each time I read again and again the same blog entires even back to 2021 or older posts, something was there for me to learn. Something new. My journey might be a long way, but in your writing I see Agathiar appa message. I learned something new again on WORKSHIP post today.

The karuppu Ai image created by Mahindran with your entry is simply superb. Yes, u have been an absolute guidance for me all these 6 years like Karuppu.

THE BLOG

In an age where people like to watch or listen on the go, I am surprised that many also read, as evidenced by the statistics on my blog. With so many hosting podcasts and bringing messages across, it is a wonder that there are still many who read. To all those out there reading my blog, thank you very much. Besides my readers gaining access into my mind and my views, opinions, thoughts, and reading about my experiences and the lessons I learned, Agathiyar has shared many good things that I have carried on this blog. I, too, am learning from it all. This blog serves as a reminder to me in many ways and is a place of recollection of my memories, too, to which I can always fall back, even when a day comes when I might like others lose my memory too.

I am blessed to have taken on this journey, something that never occurred to me, as I was not aware of the Siddha path until the calling came in 2002. If home puja, temple visits, reading, palmistry, astrology, and numerology helped me sail the waters before 2002, after the Nadi reading, the Siddhas held my hands in guiding me through some sixty-odd Nadi readings that I have had. I guess that is the reason some still contact me asking for a reading, thinking that I am a Nadi reader, as I have written extensively on it and referred to it in this blog. Others consult me either before the reading or share their readings with me. 

When man is down and trodden, all the above means and methods to look into the future serve to uplift them from their predicament. And if they care to know their past, too, they would be pacified knowing the reasons for what they are going through. At least they would not feel deserted and bring an end to their problems in unimaginable ways. These aids are a lifeline to keep us afloat through these trying times. People need to talk about their problems. This is the reason temples were built and statues installed. For one who would not want to share with another, the temple walls and the idols are willing to listen. Walking away from the temple grounds, one then feels lighter as one has laid down their baggage. 

Hence, Agathiyar has asked me to listen to others too. I am not supposed to give solutions, though. He listens through me and does what is required of him. We are only avenues for the divine to personally handle the affairs of their subjects and children. 

He has asked that I stay away from the limelight, preferring me to be behind the screen, tasking me with writing instead. I shall adhere to his wish. I never imagined that I would write, but it all fell into place with him often giving me the subject for the day and even the words and sentences falling into their proper place. I keep reading these writings, for it is a learning for me too.

It also keeps me occupied during this phase of my pension days. My mind is alert, just as I keep fit with my daily walks twice a day. Agathiyar has kept me well since day one, for which I am truly grateful. Hence, the reason it troubled me much to see others in trouble back then in my bachelor days and even till now, although Agathiyar has spelt it out as each individual's karma. But the Siddhas did not just reveal the reason and wash their hands. It is said that they pleaded with Lord Brahma, asking him to change people's fate for the better. They have approached Lord Siva to show mercy on their devotees. They give us the way and means, methods, and remedies to bring ourselves out of the dilemma that we had brought on ourselves in the past. What one has to do is listen and follow, with belief and faith. Hopefully, all shall be well in good time. 

THANK YOU READERS

Thank you, readers, for dropping in on this blog. The readership figures move and motivate me to write further. Let us see what Agathiyar has me write on. This is the past week's figures.

SHARING

Know Astrology to know why we or another is the way we or they are.

Know Karma to understand why we are experiencing the phases we are currently going through.

Know Yoga to know the Prana within (Sakti).

Finally, when the Kundalini brings us to connect with the Prapanjam, awareness of the soul, or JeevAtma, shall dawn, and we shall know "thyself", and its oneness with Yegan, ParamAtma, or Sivam.

In knowing these, we have walked the four phases of Sariyai, Kriyai, Yogam, and Gnanam. 

The Siddhas and the gurus in physical form who have been there come to show us the way, the means, and methods towards arriving there, or rather dismantle us and remove the veil that has covered the intelligence that resides within us, bringing on enlightenment. 

Above and beyond knowing and understanding, one has to adopt and practice what is given or told to see its results. The Siddhas and gurus shall give a hand in difficult times, when energy stagnates, or obstacles and hindrances surface. 

So too should one then pass on these messages and practice to others, too. In doing so, our purpose here comes to an end. 

KARUPPU

I had told Mahindren when he came over last Tuesday that henceforth I shall not be taking on any further tasks, zip up, and be quiet, even stop writing. I have to change my stand today after watching the movie "Karuppu" on a streaming platform just moments ago. One might wonder why I did not catch it in the cinemas earlier, while the rest of my family went to watch. As my senses are enhanced, for instance, I could hear the soft hum of my neighbor's refrigerator in the middle of the night while I am asleep in my bedroom upstairs, the enhanced sound system in the theatres is a bit too loud for me. We learn from a search on the net that "sound in movie theaters typically ranges from 74 to 104 decibels (dB), with action scenes and explosions frequently peaking between 110 and 130 dB. This is comparable to the sound of a food processor or motorcycle (at the lower end), up to a jet taking off (at the peak). From the YouTube channel "Acoustic Fields," we hear Dennis Foley explain "how this is all going to work. It's part science. It's part subjectivity, because everybody's preferences are different. I mean, I used to go to the theaters all the time in L.A. The Dolby theaters, the Atmos theaters, huge pressure 120. I'd take my phone, have my app 120 one time 128 huge pressure."

So I opted to bring together a modest home theatre in my living room, where I have control over its volume. 

This movie, like RJ Balaji's previous movie, "Mookuthi Amman," which also carried many messages, made me cry, seeing the torment people go through. It made me understand how the hands of Gods too are tied. It made me understand why Lord Brahma told Agathiyar, "It would take not less than 10 years to seek out their Nadi or Olai Suvadi and make changes to their fate." When the deity Karuppu is questioned, why does he not come to save people, he answers that that was the reason we are placed here. It made me understand our purpose here was not to feed and care for ourselves but to extend a hand to others, too. We are the limbs and senses of God while here. We then become proxies of God. I learned that though the state of Light was out of reach to us, the state of God and the Siddhas, Rishis too, are equally difficult to achieve; at least we can serve as Munis, who were respected and looked up to as village deities, looking after the community and society besides our family. Mahindren made an AI image of me as Karuppu.

Besides the whole pantheon of Gods and Goddesses, our forefathers brought with them their ancestral worship when they migrated to Malaya. My father was from the Mathur Kovil, one of the nine temples associated with the Chettiar community in Sivagangai. I understood that Aiyanar was worshiped back home. I had always stayed away from the worship of ancestral gods, or Kula Deivam, the lineage of souls who took care of the souls who came later; the village deities, or Yellai Deivam, who took care of the community and society living in a place; and the guardian angels, or Kaval Deivam, who stood guard over the individual soul. As a kid, I used to watch many prayers conducted at small temples, shrines, and in many individuals' homes, where the deities came down and blessed their devotees, obliged them by fulfilling their requests, and at other times, took the whip if they were angered. I stayed away as a kid, as the manner in which these deities come on within devotees frightened me. 

Besides Lord Muruga, whom my parents worshipped, I came to receive the protection of the Chinese deities, too. As my parents had lost two children as an infant earlier to diarrhea at the hospital, when I too succumbed to it, my parents rushed me to a Chinese medium, who was a friend and a neighbor. I was spared my life with the condition that I had to be given up for adoption to them. 

I was blessed to have the protection of Madurai Veeran at the same time as I grew up, placing flowers and worshiping him at the small shrine the landlord had at the back of the house we rented. Moving into another home, a neighbor used to worship Muniandisamy. They frequently hosted these events. Someone would conduct some rituals before raising the sword high that terrified the goat (and me too). The bleating would stop the moment the sword fell. Someone would go into a trance, and people would queue up for his blessings and relate their problems to which he would provide an answer or solution. Of course, I would stay my distance, watching from afar for fear of being struck by the whip he held. 

When my brother-in-law built new temples or renovated existing ones in the Krian and Kinta districts, where he served in the Public Works Department, a fest would be held on completion of the works. Then they also used to have annual fests too. Someone would go into a trance during the fest. Again, the public stood in line to seek guidance from the "divine" through these energies that came through them. On one such occasion at the Macha Muneeswarar temple in Simpang Ampat, Semanggol, to our surprise, my brother too became a vessel and conductor for these energies to work through. He surprised us further by speaking the Chinese dialect when addressing Chinese devotees. He never spoke Chinese before that. Soon, the deities themselves revealed that they would stop coming through him. And it stopped. My brother-in-law moved on to guru worship and built the Jeganthguru Sri Raghavendra Mritiga Brindavanam in Buntong, Ipoh, in later years.

Taking on a career, I met Maniraju, who used to share how the deities came in a trance and gave advice,  guidance, healed, and cured many devotees at the temple in his estate home. As almost all of them were fierce and came with lots of anger, I was surprised to hear that Lord Muruga was gentle and kept on laughing. Although I had asked him to inform me when they summoned Lord Muruga, I never had an opportunity to be there during my eight-year stay. 

Later in life, though I had belief and respect for what many called them as lesser deities, I always told them, "Let us go our way and not cross paths". All these changed when I came to the Siddha path. Soon these deities arrived and showed their presence during the many Puja we carried out for the Siddhas. Agathiyar often summoned them and directed them to attend to certain tasks that would ease the pain and suffering of his devotees. Agathiyar had me receive them in my home, telling me that they, too, were his creation. My perspective of these deities has changed from one of fear to one of inclusiveness when Agathiyar brought them into my world and vice versa, bringing me to a new understanding. 

When Agathiyar came in the form of a statue, I began to bring Agathiyar's statue around to others' homes. Asokhan, a Military Police personnel at the Ministry in Kuala Lumpur, invited us to his home too. But as he was staying in the military quarters, he switched the venue, asking me to bring Agathiyar some 247 kilometers to his hometown in Karai in Kuala Kangsar district. When my family and I arrived with Agathiyar, he made another switch in the venue. Asokhan told me that we shall perform the puja at a shrine temple of Muneeswarar under a tree some distance away from his childhood home. As we were told that the former priest at the temple had had a dispute with the temple committee and left the night before, we conducted the Homam and Abhisegam. That is when a priest appeared. After we performed the Homam, I went up to the priest who was sitting quietly watching us, and invited him to perform the Abhisegam for Agathiyar. He readily accepted. But before beginning the Abhisegam, the "visiting priest"  conducted the Nitya or daily puja for all the deities placed at the temple grounds. That was the very first Abhisegam for Agathiyar conducted by a temple priest on our shores, after the initial Abhisegam at the Adi Kumbeshwarar temple in Kumbakonam in 2009. Till this day, I do not know why Agathiyar chose to go all the way to Karai, and who was the "accidental priest" who came along to do his Abhisegam.

I got acquainted with Mrs Molly Menon from the USA, who was originally from Kerala, and who came to be known as Jnana Jothiamma later, through an email she sent after reading this blog. Shortly after returning to the USA in April of 2011, after participating in the inauguration prayers for a temple she jointly built for the seven-foot-tall Karuppu in Chennai, she returned to India, in November the same year, to visit the Kallar Ashram to know more about Agathiyar from Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal after reading the blog. Her guardian angels, Karuppu and Goddess Kali, led her and left her at the doorstep of Kallar Ashram in the custody and care of Agathiyar. Her life changed after that momentous visit to Kallar, and she devoted herself completely to Agathiyar and his Seva. She used to share her encounters with these deities with me. I began to understand them better.

Walking the path of Siddha, I could not help but notice that these deities were in the forefront on each path and track we took, especially during the hike up into the jungles, hills, and mountains.

Soon, my home, Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), became a venue where we had many unexpected visitations and where the divine could work most discreetly. These were quite different from the modus operandi we were previously familiar with, in other places, where offerings are made, and the deity was summoned to come onto an individual, who was often a regular medium or channel for them. With the Siddhas and in their presence, these deities came on their own, to pay their homage to Agathiyar and left on their own, hardly turning to look at us. They came discreetly, engaged with Agathiyar, and left as discreetly as they came, without bringing attention to their arrival and presence in my neighborhood.

Some regulars at AVM, who also sought guidance from Karuppu at other temples, shrines, and homes of worship, were surprised to find that as they stood before Karuppu, he only spoke to them about Agathiyar and Siddha worship, and often guided them before they embarked on pilgrimages to Siddha abodes, caves, and temples.

I now realize that there is a well-worked-out, greased, and oiled machinery put in place by the divine to help guide and care for us and every sector of the community. All is well and in its proper place. The divine had mutual respect for the other and knew its boundaries, as we come to know in the movie "Karuppu" too. They are basically there, waiting to serve mankind and help it rise up the spiritual ladder. We only need to know how to harness their energy for our upliftment. It all boils down to faith and belief, puja and prayers, and respect and surrender.

If my perspective of these deities had changed from one of fear to one of inclusiveness, with Agathiyar bringing them into my world and vice versa, and I had become accustomed to their presence after Agathiyar had Karuppu stand guard at my door, after watching the movie "Karuppu", I have even a higher regard and respect for him. 

Just as I could relate to the messages conveyed in the movie "Karuppu" I could relate to Pa Vijay's lyrics in the song "Vaa Endrathum" from the movie Charukesi.

அண்டம் படைத்து அகிலம் படைத்து 

அணுவும் படைத்த இறைவா
சர்வம் நிரம்பி சகலம் கலந்து 

யாதுமாய் நின்ற தலைவா

வா என்றதும் வருவான் தருவான் 

ஒரு தோழன் போல் தோடுவான்
மாயா உலகில் மெய்ஞானத்தின் 

கண்ணுக்கு முன்தோன்றுவான்

அன்பின் மொழியால் நான் கூப்பிட்ட குரலுக்கு 

ஓடோடி என் முன்னே வா என்றதும்

வருவான் தருவான் 

ஒரு தோழன் போல் தோடுவான்

அன்பே உலகம் 

அன்பே அகிலம்
இருக்கும் அனைத்து உயிர்கும் 

அவன் இருப்பது ஒன்றே நிஜமாகும்

அனைத்தையும் அவனிடம் விட்டுவிட்டால் 

அவன் அருகினில் இருப்பது தெளிவாகும் 

கூடவே நடந்து வந்திடுவார்
அவன் குரல் கேட்பதற்கு முடியாது

அவனிடம் பேச அன்பை விட 

வேறொரு மொழியே கிடையாது 

எறும்புக்கும் தினம் பசிஆற்றுகிறான் 

அவன் இருப்பிடம் எங்கே தெரியாது

எனும் எண்ணத்தை தாண்டும் வரை

அவனை புரிந்து கொள்ளவே முடியாது 

வந்து போவதே நம் வேலை 

வழி நடத்துவதெல்லாம் அவன் லீலை

 
அன்பை ஆசகம் கேட்கின்றார் 

அதை தந்தால் நேரில் வருகின்றார்
காட்சி தருகின்றேன்

This line expresses it all, that our work is in coming and leaving later, while the rest is all his play or Lila. வந்து போவதே நம் வேலை, வழி நடத்துவதெல்லாம் அவன் லீலை. 

DO NOTHING

Watching the sneak peek of the film "Charukesi" reminded me of how Agathiyar and Lord Siva came unannounced, last Sivarathri, and asked us to play them a song while they listened in a state of bliss. Yogi Ramsuratkumar (bringing Supramania Swami with him) and Bhagawan Ramana, too, who identified themselves, came when we played songs during the previous Sivarathri, the former asking to replay them. It comes to show how the divine is down to earth and very much a part and parcel of our daily lives, watching over us and listening every minute.  

I have come to realize that my life, just like everybody else's, is orchestrated by a divine hand, for how do you reckon and explain the manner and reasons for us to meet some? For instance, just days ago, when the Rava Thosai, which I ordered at the restaurant where I dined often, looked pathetic and unappealing, the server asked if I wanted it replaced. I said yes, and he took it back. As it is, Rava Thosai takes a little longer to cook compared with plain Thosai, so I had to wait much longer now. Just then, an elderly Malay man walked into the restaurant. He walked past me, mumbling something to himself, and soon returned to sit at a table next to mine, where he started small talk. Coming to know that he, too, was a pensioner, we shared the good life as pensioners. I then bid farewell to him. As I made my way to the car, I realized that the blunder and delay in having something, as in my case, the Thosai, made me sit long enough so that we could meet. And so too I have come to realize it is with all blunders and delays in our lives, for they are meant for a reason. 

Who would have thought two boys of 16 years, me and his classmate Beh Swee Yam, would hold back a military carrier from landing on the runway, and that I would one day join the Defense Ministry? We were so naive, innocent, and stupid that we did not realize the reason the Caribou, a Canadian specialized cargo aircraft, was circling for some time was that we were running on the field, in its path of landing, until there came soldiers on a landrover with a hailer shouting for us to vacate the grounds, telling us the plane could not land. They picked both of us up, dumped us into the vehicle, and kicked us out of the aerodrome, never to come back, asking us to go run somewhere else. It is a wonder that they did not place us in a lockup and charge us for trespassing on a restricted area. 

I'm only beginning to know myself now, at the age of 67. I have come to understand why I am the way I am, too, after following the recent barrage of astrological predictions on the net. When I asked myself why I was always the odd one out in following these videos, which revealed the nature of those born under the star Aquarius or Kumbham Rashi, I came to know that there was nothing wrong with me. I have come to drop all my guilt and accept myself for who I am. I am at peace with myself and others. As I shared it with my friends, Mahindren told me, I was designed as such. I understood then that if I wanted any change to the present, that would initiate another birth and prolong the cycle further. I have come to know that the stars dictate my nature and characteristics just as the soul determines our parentage and place of birth, among many other things. Is this then self-realization, as Mrs Kogie Pillai thinks? I have yet to know the "thy" that the saints speak of in "know thyself," though. After I came to know Agathiyar on this journey, what I mistakenly thought was a new relationship that blossomed over the past 26 years, on the contrary, he tells me we have traveled for crores of years together. He remembers, but I forgot. After reading the Nadi, Agathiyar told me my present birth was a result of my past karma. When I grieved for my sins, he told me he had pushed me into doing it for want of those experiences, too. Agathiyar too came, asking me to now know my "Self", the Atma, and know Sivam.

I have come to know that that which has a hold on us and vice versa is Maya, hence the reason Tavayogi stopped me from worshipping him even before I got to know him better, and stripped me of my attachment to the gemstones and mercury bead I was wearing on my finger and on me respectively, for a start. Agathiyar had me let go of all the tasks that he had initiated me to do, after having gained the experience from them, before it could get hold of me. He had me drop my hold on his statue that he had me commissioned and made, and that I worshipped in my home, too. He went a step further and asked that I let him go too, for only then could we be one, the Yegan, Sivam, he said. In having me let go, Agathiyar handed me back into the arms of Mother Prapanjam. 

Now I understand why Lao Tzu asked us to go with the flow. What we should do is use Maya to our advantage and for our purpose in coming here, where eventually, after the band stops playing and the music dies down, and everybody has left, our creator sits at the last table waiting to claim us, his soul and property, and bring us back home. It reminds me of the song "The Last Waltz" by Engelbert Humperdinck.

I wondered, should I go or should I stay

The band had only one more song to play

And then I saw you out the corner of my eyes

A little girl alone and so shy

I had the last waltz with you

Two lonely people together

I fell in love with you

The last waltz should last forever

But the love we had was goin' strong

Through the good and bad we'd get along

And then the flame of love died in your eye

My heart was broke in two when you said goodbye

It's all over now

Nothing left to say

Just my tears and the orchestra playing

(Source: https://genius.com/Engelbert-humperdinck-the-last-waltz-lyrics)

Becoming spiritual is not about adopting or opting for a change in garb, doing away with our normal clothes, but a change in mindset and perspective. Once this happens, we settle down into acceptance. This is "Summa Erupathu" in all manner, doing nothing.

VAIRAGYA

My blog posts might seem repetitive. A friend and reader from Kerala once wrote in, saying, "Even if you wrote it umpteen times, we learn from repetition the most." Science says that in repeating 21 times, only then shall it begin to register in our subconscious minds. Repetition and making a habit of good things register a corresponding response and outcome in the subconscious. I used to wonder why Tavayogi kept repeating the same speech everywhere he went. Reading the book "Jeeva Brahmakya Vedanta Ragasiyam" by Satchidananda Yogeeswar, I was asking myself why the author repeats the same matter again and again in subsequent pages. He answers my query in a later chapter, saying that one needs to drive a notion again and again so that it is registered and remembered. So too, I guess I end up repeating the same in these pages, at least so that I can remember them too. Please bear with me.

Now, coming to today's post, are we ruled by the stars? It sure does seem so. Are we merely living out what has been determined in the stars? Going by what Tavayogi says, that we are living in the past, and creating the future, it sure holds water. 

As there is a barrage, onslaught, and overdose of talk shows on the net currently, where astrologers are each predicting what is going to happen to us, due to certain planetary movements taking place currently, though I had left seeing my horoscope after taking Agathiyar's hand, curiosity and having much time on my hands, I too was drawn into watching them. And they sure answered the what and why of things that happened the way they did. I can settle in peace now, knowing that it was not my doing, but the circumstances and events were all their doing, all laid out waiting to happen. Knowing that relationships, and the direction they took, too, were determined by the stars and not of my doing, has me lay down my guilt. I remember Agathiyar telling me that though karma prompted certain actions, Agathiyar too had pushed me into certain circumstances, and for the sake of gaining those experiences, too, had me engage in them. 

As Bhagawan Ramana too says that all is well, the saints tend to leave it as it is. They live a life, bringing in and channelling the divine love and showering it on others, and share the bliss, too. I came to know that even if one wants to be a saint, it has to be written in the stars, from reading JN Bhasin's book "Events and Nativities Explained", Sagar Publications, 1974, where he studied the birth charts of prominent people, including saints, and wrote about the expressed need to have vairagya in one's charts. 

No astrologer, neither AM Duraisamy nor Dr Krishnan, mentioned vairagya in my charts. Supramania Swami expressed his wish to chart my chart, wanting to know why I came to him. He told me something had taken place the previous night as I was sound asleep. As I was sleeping on the floor of the living area of his kudil, while he was sitting beside on his bed made of jute ropes, rolling the Rudraksha beads, a mother and child had come and sat beside me. They were in conversation, oblivious to Swami watching them. The kid placed his hand on my belly button. Soon, the kid invited his mother into Swami's prayer room. Following them into the room, Swami was surprised to see the room empty. Swami shared this with tears brimming and a smile the next day. Before that, he told me that he was taken aback when I stepped out of the car and approached him upon arriving from Malaysia. The reason being that he heard the Pranavam loud and clear that moment. When I asked him later why he had closed the window with a gunny sack, which he purposely positioned to watch the Holy Hill from his bed, he told me that he could no longer see Annamalaiyar's form, as he was fiery. He told me that he saw Siddhas and Rishis going about doing their work on the hill. He surprised me by saying that he saw me too in their midst. Agathiyar, in coming to us after Tavayogi's samadhi, told us that he had to come to guide us further, as Tavayogi was called in to do Agathiyar's work in their realm or Siddha Loka.

It is said that all findings and discoveries are made in this realm by the Siddhas and Rishis before man discovers them for himself. I always wonder how lyricists and music directors come up with such soulful songs, be it for the cinema or devotional. I have come to believe that these writings and tunes are constructed in another plane before these souls pick them up, arrange and conduct them, and deliver them to us, just as the writings come to me in a continuous flow as I pen these posts, too.

When we come to the Siddhas, they speak about karma and reveal ours. The option is there for us to live it through without interfering, or take measures to try and make it favorable, less hurtful, and less of a torment. I understand now, when I had noisy neighbors, during the period of my solitude, Agathiyar asked that I bear with the noise, as it was a test. Rather than attempting to change others or confront the external source of our troubles or problems, he asked me to change my mindset and go with the flow, instead, watching the transformation taking place within. 

As Siva Thondan wrote earlier, in his analysis of "The Kolaru Pathigam" by Thirugnana Sambandar, 

"For one who has taken refuge in Shiva at Sirkazhi, the planets — all of them, in whatever configuration — become 'pure good' (Nanmayae Aavaarkal).... 

This is not a promise of astrological correction — a better chart, an improved Dasha. It is a statement about the ontological transformation of the soul's relationship to cosmic forces....

This is not the dismissal of planetary influence; it is its theological reframing....

What it promises is that the devotee who is anchored in Shiva-bhakti — whose soul is oriented toward Pati rather than contracted around its own Prarabdha — will not be bound by what the planets deliver. The experience may still occur. Its binding power will not.....

This reflects the Siddhantam's precise theological priority: the devotee's relationship is with Pati, and Pati's Grace operates at a level that encompasses and transcends the Pasa order of which the planets are a part....

The practice of its recitation is itself a living enactment of the philosophical principle: the devotee does not ignore the astrological warning, nor does the devotee capitulate to fatalism. Instead, the devotee brings the planetary situation into the field of Bhakti — into Shiva's presence — and there the cosmic arithmetic is reconstituted.....

..this practice as expressing what the Siddhantam teaches: that Karma is real, that planetary influence is real, that they must be engaged and not bypassed — but that Arul operates from a level that neither Karma nor planets can constrain. 

The Kolaru Pathigam is not magic. It is sadhana — it reorients the soul's fundamental posture from anxiety about cosmic forces to trust in the sovereignty of Shiva. And in that reorientation, the planetary machinery — still running, still delivering its consequences — ceases to be the defining reality of the soul's experience."

I guess, though, I don't have viragya or the determination that buries all other aspirations in solely wanting only to reach the Holy Feet of the divine, in my charts; their mercy, grace, and blessing have fallen on me, seeing those little moments where I attempt to carry out what they say or gave me to do, which has brought me this far. This is enough. And Agathiyar, in telling me that I had taken crores of years, traveling with him, to just arrive at this stage only now, has me realize that there is a long way ahead. As Supramania Swami and Tavayogi say that there is always a tomorrow, another birth where we could perfect our skills and attain Siddhahood and Godhead, I shall keep polishing my skills and keep trying. 

Though it seems our life is predetermined and we have to live it, Siva Thondan, in sharing Thirugnana Sambandar's song, gives us hope.

Saiva Siddhantam takes karma seriously enough to have built a precise and systematic account of it. It takes planetary influence seriously enough to situate the Navagrahas within a coherent cosmological hierarchy. And it takes liberation seriously enough to insist that neither karma nor cosmic alignment constitutes the soul's final condition.

The Siddhas and the divine have the final say!

Of Astrology, Palmistry, Nadi Reading, and Soul Contract Reading

Astrology, Palmistry, Nadi reading, and Soul Contract Reading help us know ourselves and the direction we could take, saving us time and money in futile ventures. They can warn us of booby traps along the way. For the spiritually inclined, these could show us to our guru, the path, and the teachings that our soul desires. They address both the desires of man and his creator. 

Srīnāthā Rāghavan wrote in fb about his encounter with an astrologer. 

He called out to me, "What is it you want to know?"

That was pretty much a direct Question, so I replied, "My Future?"

He was quick to answer, "So you know the Present well, I guess?" It was a valid Question and I did not have any answer for it, when He said, "Astrology, as much as it gives you an idea of the Future, it's primarily meant to tell you how to use the Present well."

I listened to His wise words, as He continued, "Our Future is based on the choices made in the Present, so it is very important to gauge and know all the options available with us in the NOW, and which one to choose so the future is pleasant."

I asked, "Then isn't our Future predetermined?" To which He replied, "A part of it is fixed, what we call Fate, and a part of it is in your hands, what we call Destiny."

"What's the difference?" I asked.

"Fate is like Laws and Destiny akin to Rules, the former is fixed and predetermined and rarely can be broken, but the latter can be broken through effort, and if not broken, then at least bent as per situation," He said.

After reading my birth chart and telling me some points to take note, He said, "Don't rely on the Stars too much, as even they are controlled by a Higher Power & Intelligence. So either believe in the intelligence of THAT (God) or THIS (Yourself). 

So too my friend and reader Siva Thindan, in writing about "The Kolaru Pathigam's refrain, which appears in each verse with structural variations, states the central theological proposition with directness: the planets — all of them, in whatever configuration — become 'pure good' (Nanmayae Aavaarkal, நன்மையே ஆவார்கள்) for one who has taken refuge in Shiva at Sirkazhi. This is not a promise of astrological correction — a better chart, an improved Dasha. It is a statement about the ontological transformation of the soul's relationship to cosmic forces."

Though I had my horoscope charted at the age of 23, by Sri AM Duraisamy Aiya from my hometown on 15 May 1983, I never kept track of what was said. 

As I was saved by the Chinese gods as an infant, I frequented Chinese temples too in the eighties. There, I was asked to shake a can of numbered sticks. One carrying the number 11 dropped. The temple priest opened up a huge book, looked for this number, and started predicting. He told me that I had the Gods as my friend. 

Later in the nineties, when I was introduced to Dr.Krishnan by Mr. Sethu from my office, he did a reading on 12 Feb 1996, when I was 37. I began to frequent him. Was it a coincidence that I should have a reading during the Guru dasa at both times? I began to show a keen interest. I bought books on astrology and read them. I took an interest in reading about numerology, too. 

Dr.Krishnan spoke about many things, including my health concerns, education and career, business opportunities, and career switch. He told me that I was a priest in the last birth. He said that the stars showed that I was inclined to do service and religious deeds. He predicted that I would meet my guru and travel to India, which did take place in 2003. These were later told to me by Agathiyar in my Nadi reading in 2002. 

In 1997, Dr.Krishnan gave me tips on doing puja and meditation, and suggested which gemstones to wear. I wore the Rasamani bead he made me on 16 March 1997. Being a Siddha physician too, he gave me tips on proper diet. I was moved to learn about Siddha medicine and bought books and read them. 

Coming out of Goddess Mariamman's temple in Jalan Bandar, Kuala Lumpur, after praying to her, I chanced to see an astrologer practicing Kili Jotidam, having a parrot on the five-foot way in front of the temple. As I was undecided whether I should opt for a job in a new Ministry or stay put in my present, I consulted the parrot, which picked a card numbered 21 that carried a painting of Goddess Saraswathy. She told me to stay put. I did as told. 

I wore the blue sapphire later on 2 Dec 1997 on the advice of Dr.Krishnan. I was moved to know more about gemstones and bought books and read about them. 

On 13 Nov 1998, Dr.Krishnan told me that I could take up politics or spirituality. I had missed to reap gains and benefits due to the planetary positions. He surprised me by saying it was not necessary to chart the horoscopes of my wife and children and went on to speak about them based on my chart. He spoke about the Siddhas and their Nadi for the very first time, while I sat and listened in a state of bluriness, when I asked if his predictions had never materialized for others. As he did not point me to a Nadi reader, nor did I have any idea to travel to India, I left it at that.

In 2002, when Muralidharan Saminathan from my office talked about his experience in seeing his Nadi in 2000, an excitement came over me to see mine. He made an appointment, and I saw myself sit before a Nadi reader in Petaling Jaya. Agathiyar asked that I go to India on a pilgrimage to temples and to carry out remedies for my past karma. 

I left for India in 2003. I met my very first guru, Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai. Returning home, I had a nine gem-studded gold ring made and wore it on my finger after Swami told me it would do me some good. 

In 2005, I met Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram in Batu Caves, where he would come to break my hold on all things dear to me, including him. Agathiyar, too, in the years to come, had me drop my hold on all that he had me carry out, and even my hold on him. 

Subsequently, Agathiyar, in another Nadi reading, asked that I go over to India and stay at his ashram for several days. I left for India after he returned to his ashram. Tavayogi took me places. He had me drop my hold on the Rasamani and the Navarathna ring. Supramania Swami, being an astrologer too, in wanting to know why I came to him in 2003, sat down to chart my horoscope. 

In 2013, when Agathiyar asked that I visit Tavayogi, I left with my family. 

Tavayogi and Mataji came to Malaysia again in 2016 to attend my daughter's wedding. That was to be his last visit to Malaysia. 

I left for the inauguration of his new ashram, later that year, with fellow devotees from Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). 

Tavayogi went into Samadhi in 2018.

On 4 Feb 2024, Haary Roshaahn Yograj read my "Soul Contract Reading," also referred to as a "Tool for Accession" for mankind. where we get to know our purpose here and how far we have lived it out or worked on it. He wanted to read mine after getting to know me, AVM, and engaging in the many puja and charity programs we held. 

I have indulged in astrology and numerology, but this was simply superb. It struck me that Agathiyar, too, had given humanity 5 tenets as tools for accession. Agathiyar, in his 5 tenets to mankind list the first as knowing one's purpose. Reading the 5th purpose, "Once you work through it all, you begin to manifest your soul purpose by helping and giving back to humanity". Haary wrote in, "Wow, Uncle Number 5 is the same as what I explained. 

He gave his interpretation of this reading.

Every soul, before being born on earth, they have chosen their name prehand, and this is then telepathically channeled to its parents. Intuitively, the parents feel to name their child a specific name. This is not a coincidence; this is because THE SOUL HAS CHOSEN ITS JOURNEY AND ITS NAME PREHAND.

A Soul Contract Reading (also known as the Spiritual Numerology of Moses) is an accurate channeled system of spiritual interpretations of your birth name. From your birth name, we decode the Spiritual Map of Your Life, so you can align with it and manifest your soul purpose.

Soul contract reading gives you a deeper understanding from the spiritual perspective of what you are here to experience in this lifetime, what are your challenges, and what possible lessons that you might need to learn and face. With that, you also have certain strengths or gifts within yourself. And lastly, we are able to decode what you are here to achieve in this lifetime. And once you have worked through all this, you then become the positive aspect of all the numbers, and you begin to manifest your soul purpose by helping and giving back to humanity by using your talent." 

I was asked to come out of my cocoon and take up my purpose as revealed in the "Soul Contract Reading". My purpose in coming here was to be a catalytic spiritual teacher. Agathiyar came to endorse this reading later and told me that he had now to prepare me to fit the role. He asked me how was he to depend on one person to do his work. He had to raise everyone to come to the state where they carry out his work. Again, Agathiyar said that since I had desired it, he had to fulfill the Vasana or Karmic imprint by preparing me for the role. 

Running a search on the term "A spiritual Catalyst", Teal Swan at https://tealswan.com/resource, gives a detailed description of it. 

"A spiritual Catalyst is a person who precipitates an event or a change on the level of spirit (the essential, incorporeal part of someone or something). Spiritual Catalysts, like gurus, have attained a high level of spiritual authority, awareness, and knowledge, which enables them to guide others. Spiritual Catalysts, however, do not aim to become “Leaders” to their disciples as much as they wish to cause their disciples to question and find answers within themselves. It is the firm belief of a Spiritual Catalyst that if a person is caused to initiate their own exploration on the level of spirit, that person will then become the conscious leader of their own life. It is also the belief of a Spiritual Catalyst that if a person becomes the conscious creator and leader of their own life, that their life will inevitably become a kind of living enlightenment; thereby allowing that person to live in a continuous state of internal peace and joy."

If previously Agathiyar had told me that he would not "expose" me, giving me the task to just keep writing, later, Agathiyar came along asking if he should make me a guru, telling me that I had desired it, again another Vasana, but immediately retracted the offer, saying he would make me somebody else. As with everything else, I am not giving much thought to it, telling myself that I will eventually come to know. 

Going by the gift of life that I had after my parents brought me to the Chinese Gods who saved me as an infant, going by the change in the planetary positions of my horoscope that Agathiyar revealed in the Nadi, which was pretty different from what I had held to earlier, charted by Sri AM Duraisamy and Dr.Krishnan, and with Lord Muruga coming in a Nadi reading in 2018 and declaring that he had henceforth changed my fate, it is pretty apparent that the Siddhas can change our fate and write a new destiny. I shall keep holding on to them for life.