FINDING BLISS IN PAIN

Just as I began to come out of my meditative pose this morning and as I stretched my left leg, I felt a nerve pull that rekindled the lower back pain in me. I cannot sit up straight right now. But I have to write, right? I am writing while in pain. But the pain is also blissful. How do we reckon that? Agathiyar said the same too. Already as it is my body was expelling phlegm. Wind and bile too is expelled now. Even in these moments of agony the blossoming of the petals in the crown of my head goes on bringing a chillness.

When someone messaged me asking if Agathiyar could relieve his toothache I told him not to pull him to our level to sort our problems. He could extract his tooth or do a root canal procedure. A pain that originates in the physical body can be attended through allopathic means. 

So is it right for me to seek Agathiyars touch and bring relief to my pain? I guess so for this journey is not one that I desired nor chose but as in the dream that chases us the journey picked me. Agathiyar extended an invitation to the path. I took it up. He gave me the practices. I practiced them diligently. When these practices brought on internal changes the medical doctors and tests could not reveal any problems as the transformation was in the subtle bodies though its effects are felt in the physical. Hence it is only right that the guru comes to assist. As Agathiyar said earlier as Tavayogi initiated me into these practices, he should be here to heal me. But since Agathiyar called him to assist him in his realm with his work Agathiyar himself had come to treat me. Agathiyar healing me with his touch that day reminds me of John healing Paul's severe bladder infection by touching him in the movie The Green Mile.

Henry Wei in his book "The Guiding Light of Lao Tzu, Synergy Books International, quotes Rabindranath Tagore on this mystic union, as "The Paramatman, the supreme soul, has himself chosen this soul of ours as his bride and the marriage has been completed." Ramalinga Adigal composes a beautiful song of how his Lord had told him to prepare for this bridal marriage or mystic union an hour before the event takes place. 

I remember the last time the pain came on me in 2018 Lord Murugan in the Nadi reading claimed that he had to bring it on so that I sit in one place. Another senior devotee when he tripped and fell at his home and had injured his shoulder, Agathiyar admitted that he had pushed him down so that he would stay home. The Siddhas can be quite aggressive in their ways to those whose time is running out, I guess. He is 66 while I am 63. I guess they mean business. They want us to attain a state that has been envisioned for us before it is too late. I guess it is a dream of theirs. As it is we are already late as Agathiyar echoes Tavayogi's statement that any bodily transformation has to be completed before 60 years of age. To the youngsters in our team, he gave them leeway to leave everything for the moment and attend to their family and careers telling us that they shall come back again. 

G. Valmikanathan in his book "Makers of Indian Literature - Ramalingam", published by Sahitya Akademi (e-book at http://www.vallalar.org) mentions,

"The unitive way is that part of the pathway in which the pilgrim marches on with buoyant and joyous steps, filled with hope and freed from doubt or misconception. The journey is characterized by a sense of urgency. The pilgrim, in this part of his journey, begins to walk fast, then breaks into a loping trot, finally, gallops on with increasing tempo towards the beckoning smile and the outstretched arms, and is soon locked in an eternal embrace with the beloved, the eternal being, the Godhead, the ground of all being. The journey on the unitive way is composed of several factors of experience. Recollection and quiet, contemplation, ecstasy and rapture, dark night of the soul, and unitive life."

Ramalinga Adigal has put down his experiences in transforming his body in the numerous songs of his compiled as the Thiruarutpa for us to compare and understand the process. Marshall Govindan in his book “Babaji and the 18 Siddhars Kriya Yoga Tradition” (Govindan, Marshall, Babaji and the Eighteen Siddha Kriya Yoga Tradition, 1991, Kriya Yoga Publications (Reg), 196 Mountain Road, P.O.Box 90, Eastman, Quebec, Canada, JOE 1PO, reproduced with permission via e-mail), writes on this transformation. 

"Ramalinga described several successive transformations: 

The transformation of the mortal human body into the perfect body (suddha deham), achieved by universal spiritual communion and devotion to god; 

The transformation of perfect body (sudha deham) into the body of grace and light (pranava deham); 

In addition, the transformation into the body of wisdom (Gnana deham) and into the body of god supreme.

In many verses (in the Thiru Arutpa) Ramalinga sings of how his ‘impure body’ of ‘impure elements’ was transformed into a pure body of pure elements, called a golden body of immeasurable carats (swarna deham). 

He sings that one has to think incessantly, until he feels and melts with love for God. In such a melting mood one bursts into tears and sings praise of God and soothing warmth is produced in the aspirant. When this universal love and sacred warmth develops, the body as well as the soul became prepared for the descent of the grace, in the form of light. When this occurs, the material body of impure elements is transformed into a ‘body of pure light’, emitting a golden hue."

So this transformation and change takes place entirely due to their grace.

"The ultimate and greatest transformation in human evolution: a transmutation into the godhead, which he referred to as merging with the body of supreme wisdom-the body of God supreme (Gnana deham).

In the foreword to “An Introduction to the Philosophy of Saint Ramalingam” Dr., Rao Saheb K. Kothandapani Pillai BA writes,

"The body is deprived of all its dross or impurities and made pure, fit for divine absorption (sudha deham). These are the practical transformation, which came over the body of the Swami stage by stage on the way to union with the absolute. Not only did he preach this science of deathlessness (sudha sanmarga) but actually attained this deathless state. None of the four saints, [Appar, Sundarar, Thirugnanasambanthar, and Manickavasagar] dropped their bodies on the earth nor was buried or burnt. They bodily vanished into the ether or into the lord divine. Conquest of death by imbibing supreme grace is the quintessence of his philosophy. These transformations occur in the body of the aspirant according to the intensity of spiritual warmth produced in him. The more he ascended in his holy pursuit the more was the descent of divinity in him."

Swami Saravanananda, translates the “Arutperunjhoti Agaval” in his publication by the Ramalinga Mission, Madras. 

"The skin has become supple; nerves function intermittently; bones have become soft and the tendons have lost their grip over the muscles; blood has congealed and semen has condensed into a solid ball; petals of the brain blossom and elixir fills up the body system; face glows and breath becomes peaceful; hairs rise on end and tears well up; mouth utters the name of the lord and the sound of OM pours into the ears; body becomes cooled and hands rise up in salutations; mind ripens and melts and wisdom fills up the mental frame; the ever pervading feeling has come to stay; egoism vanishes and the soul attains bliss; impurities get destroyed and purity alone remains; illusory tendency vanishes and a longing for god’s grace swells up…"

From http://www.ramalinga.com, we read the same.

"Describing in exquisite way the phases of the transformation of his body, Ramalinga says that dermis and epidermis have become extremely soft; all the nerves, muscles and tendons have slackened little by little; the bones, membranes and cartilages have become very flexible; the blood has coagulated; the semen has concentrated being solidified; the brain and all its parts have been opened like a bud. All over the body an Elixir flows; the face glistens; the respiration is smooth and refreshing; from the tear glands abundant tears sprout; the mouth is half-opened tremulous, and the ears are filled of sweet melodies. The entire body is refreshed and all its visible parts flourish in ecstasy. The heart swells palpitating Love. The ego vanishes, as the emotional and mental defects. A tender, loving and compassionate quietude dominates the entire organism. The ardent desire to receive the divine Grace overflows. The Supreme Love fills the body, which is the temple of the divine Life."

Swami Saravanananda writes about these astounding bodily changes further.

"At whatever age the aspirant gains illumination or the effulgence enters in him or emanates from within, some remarkable changes take place in the body-frame. The Divine Light seems to change the very cell of the body, with the result, that they seem to function in the opposite direction." 

"With the descent of sufficient Divine Light the psychic head begins to emerge. According to Vallalar, this psychic head (a crown or diadem of light) is made up of a special and highly refined type of brain called Omkar brain. As soon as it emerges, it draws more cosmic light; the more the light the greater the growth of the psychic head. With the advent of psychic head, more and more changes take place in the already purified body."

"The cells and thence the whole body begins to transcend the limits imposed on them by impure Maya (the grosser principle of nature) and try to break one more of its veils. The cells undergo alternate condensation and expansion for an unspecified period and the body slowly emerges out of its bondage and begins to grow. This expanding and ever prospering body, is called the subtle body or the body of Omkar or Pranava body." 

"With this perfection comes perfect knowledge. He (Vallalar) also seemed to have been bestowed with the third eye, after his body had attained perfection. This third eye enabled him to gain knowledge of the whole universe and all the individual beings contained in it. He assets that his knowledge penetrated and pervaded layer upon layer of the varied types of universes. With the functioning of the third eye, the transformation of the Pranava body is completed and the next and final stage of transformation into the Gnostic body (Gnana deham) starts."

"The transformation of the Pranava body into a Gnostic body begins with the functioning of the third eye. With the advent of this eye, the body sheds whatever subtle impurities it possesses; consequently, it becomes nearly invisible. The third eye enabled Vallalar to have tier upon tier of divine experiences. Slowly his body through the intensity of concentration of the mind begins to generate the flame of lapses, popularly known as psychic heat. Slowly the quantity of psychic heat is increased due to intense meditation and concentration on the universal effulgence. The extreme heat generated in the body produces smoke at first; this smoke gathers up in volume and escapes through the junction of the parietal bones of the skull (Brahma Randhra). During this period, the body and mind undergoes untold stress. Vallalar often mentions about the sufferings that he had undergone since he was twelve years old. The psychic smoke clears off and enhanced illumination results. This light (Tegas) is also called as the aura or nimbus. 

From http://www.ramalinga.com we read about the finale.

"... the full Union with God in body and soul (deathless body) takes place when the Highest Lord accepts the absolute surrender of the disciple. These great saints saw a Column of Light rising above the Sahasrara up to the Divinity. The Column of Light starts to be formed in the states previous to the full Realization of Golden Body. In one who realizes the Golden Deathless Body an indissoluble bond is established with the Divinity through this Column of Light. Till this moment, one must make an effort ascending to the Divinity, later having to descend again to the physical level, nevertheless on having been settled the Column of Light one does not need to continue doing this effort, but from this time the Divinity descends on oneself. The one in whom the Column of Light is settled enjoy the continual experience on the Divinity, who, on having descended, resides in one's own Heart (as shining Sun) and fills with Himself the whole Being gradually, even the physical body (which, cell by cell, is completely transmuted up to becoming divine)."

"At first the above-mentioned experience has not the same intensity all the time. Moved by His great Compassion, God takes the maximum care of the possible after effect in the physical body and that's why He is alternating the intensity to manifest Himself as Divine Light. Sometimes His resplendence is very soft whereas in other occasions It becomes the most intense, seeming that one is going to be melted in It. This experience on God fills the Self with Divine Love and Compassion, which overflow from the Heart as a river flowing endlessly towards the other beings."

"Little by little, God is increasing by degrees the intensity of Light and one is becoming accustomed to it, until the time comes when God manifests Himself wholly. Then the Column of Light shines from beginning to end with Its entire splendor. It isn’t visible, except in very rare occasions. This Column of Light is truly the embodied Divine Jothi, which burns constantly so that the Divine Light radiates coming to all the beings. This is the Full God's Manifestation in the Earth." 

"There was no longer the body, no longer any sensation; there was only a Column of Light rising from the place where is ordinarily the base of the body up to the place where is ordinarily the head, to form there a disk of Light like that of the moon; then from there the Column went on rising up to very far above the head to break into an immense Sun, dazzling and multi-colored, from which fell a rain of Golden Light covering the whole earth. Then slowly the Column of Light descended forming an oval of living Light, awakening and setting in motion, each in a particular way, according to a special mode of vibration, the centers which were above the head, at the place of the head, the throat, the heart, in the middle of the belly, at the base of the spine and still lower. At the height of the knees, the ascending and the descending currents joined together, and the circulation thus became in a way uninterrupted enveloping the whole being in an immense oval of living Light."

How wonderful it feels just reading these accounts. Imagine the state of Ramalinga Adigal going through it. Just as we are able to compare notes with the saint I guess the reason Agathiyar asked me to share the internal changes in me is to share notes with readers who are experiencing a similar passage. 

DREAMS

In an Omeleto short film titled "You Never Truly Lived" we are told that contrary to us chasing dreams the dreams chase us. I guess he is right for when I went to see my Nadi reading the very first time in 2002, Agathiyar asks me to come to the worship of the Siddhas. Besides that, he told me to build a temple for him. Though I was pretty excited at having given the privilege, Sivabalan who was accompanying me with the reading told me not to get too excited for Agathiyar had mentioned it to fifty others. He should know for he had brought in the Nadi reader from India. Although I scouted around to see if there was a possibility to house Agathiyar in existing temples, the management turned me down. Seeing my disappointment I guess Agathiyar had me prepare his bronze statue in 2019 to be placed in the Jegathguru Sri Raghavendra Miruthiga Brindavanam Kinta. But he changed his mind later and decided to stay put in my home and named it Agathiyar Vanam (AVM). I let go of the thought eventually only to be reminded in 2018 again by Lord Murugan in his Nadi. But I was never moved to act this time for I was comfortable carry out puja in the confines of my home where many were shown to my house by Agathiyar in their Nadi readings. Many others came by too knowing Agathiyar was there. Lord Murugan then coaxed Agathiyar to come through an elderly man in the midst of us carrying out puja for Agathiyar at Carey Island. I wasn't keen even then. Finally coming later in a Nadi reading Agathiyar told me that he had tested me. He dropped asking me. Maybe that was a dream that followed me through the many births. Maybe that was my purpose to be here. But I made a choice. 

Today he tells me to write. I guess this is a purpose given by him, another dream that has chased me I guess. This I accepted since it only involves me and my time. I need not worry about sustaining the temple and sourcing for finances to upkeep the rituals and maintain the structure, keep people coming and feeding the devotees etc, as many managements are finding it rather difficult these days to sustain. Many that started as one man's dream has either winded up its operations or died a natural death. I guess if it is the will of the divine, he shall see through its existence. 

Even the puja and gatherings in my home was brought to a standstill by Agathiyar telling us to move on into going within. It is now a solo journey. That is how Agathiyar makes changes to our journey in a timely manner. In going within I had to go through a series of internal changes that came by as a result of the several yogic practices and herbal preparations he gave. The body had to be purified right till the very cells, of the dosas or impurities that are prevalent in the elements that maketh the body and the food and drinks we took all these years. Fearing if it was a medical problem that had cropped up, he came to allay the fear in us. He showed me a glimpse of death and allay the fear of death too. In reassuring me he tells me that he has much that I need to do. I guess now I have to fulfill his dreams. 

SURVIVING THE ODDS

It is nice to listen to success stories once in a while having heard only grievances of others all these whiles. Last night I met a man who shared his success story. He had left the banking job and took up mobile cleaning services responding to calls. Initially personally cleaning homes and toilets today he has some 400 people doing the job for him. From individuals homes he moved to service commercial and office buildings cleaning both the insides and outsides.

Before meeting him at the engagement function, I met another man from a foreign land. He has settled comfortably in Malaysia taking on tailoring though he had studied electronic. He shared pictures of his happy family who have all made name for themselves too here. When the pandemic affected his trade like many others as there were no events and functions held due to the numerous lockdowns his knowledge in repairing Pc's and laptops came handy as career people and students alike began to repair and upgrade their machines as the former were forced to work online and the latter schooled from home online too.

The regime and discipline in acquiring and accomplishing material gains and standing in the material and religious world is missing when we come to the spiritual world or arrive to know the Spirit (Soul or Atma). Agathiyar had led us through a set of regimes and expected us to practice and uphold it with discipline. Many never started or those who started gave up. To those few who held fast, he had them drop it too after he was satisfied of their achievements. He had them move on to other things never allowing them to be trapped or caught in time or a past era. He was futuristic driving us on to explore the mysteries that abound beyond our senses and the world we know. They led us on explorations, initially external and these days it is internal. He asks that I share them with readers too. I am glad to be his tool. 

If only we knew the inside story or the tale behind the veil. The Siddhas know and we do not know. If only we knew and realized that the chances of surviving any situation is slim and yet we survived it, we would forever be grateful to the divine. Life is full of risks right from inception to death, but we never realize. We take things for granted. We demand for a place and a right to things. We feed the ego daily. If only we realize that we live because the divine has chosen to shower its grace on us, we shall settle in to live peacefully. 

BE BOLD TO MAKE A CHANGE

Watching the movie "Dhanusu Raasi Neyargale" I saw much resemblance with the lead character. I was so into astrology back then that I learned to chart my horoscope. I went into numerology and went looking for gemstones to wear. I was damn superstitious too. Imagine I had left my bachelor home to attend a wedding of a very close friend when a cat crossed my path. I drove back home immediately. That was how ignorant I was back then. When some sense dawned on me in later years I asked myself if I would have turned back if the cat had crossed while I was on my way to my own wedding. How stupid could I be. 

Those were the days where I read much about religion, tradition and custom and was steeped in its believes. But that is how people have held a hold on us all this while. Even as recent as a few years back, I was told by a temple priest that Gods dwell in the temples only certain hours. Hence, we were asked to carry out our charity aid during those hours when the temple is open so that they shall know what we are doing. How ridiculous I thought to myself. God who is beyond space and time has been trapped in a time warp by man. The all-prevailing energy that is God has been confined and locked up in shrines and temples by tradition. God who is in both you and me has now been locked up within these four walls. God who exists in all things has been confined to man-made objects and structures. If the heart and the breath that is Uyir that beats 24/7 and the spinning or rather blossoming effect that is felt in the crown of my head is felt even as I ease myself, I wonder how God has been brought to the state of a white-collar worker.

Have we ever wondered why we tend to automatically close our eyes when in a state of pleasure or profound bliss, be it in partaking good food, listening to soul stirring music, standing in prayer before our favorite deities or even in engaging in sex with our partner? We are automatically brought to the abode of the divine who dwells within in these moments. A friend who visited the Lord at Thirupathy up close, closed his eyes standing before him. This was made possible by an Indian friend in the security forces in India who used his contacts to help him get a clear view of the Lord. But my friend was jolted out of his brief moment of ecstasy and communion with the Lord by a blow on his back from his friend. He had given the blow as he was disappointed that my friend had shut his eyes the moment, he lay his eyes on the Lord as he had taken the trouble to bring him just meters away from the Lord to watch the Lord's beauty.

God has very much become part and parcel of me these days. Nay he was there all along. It is just that I have come to realize it after ignorance left me. The Siddhas came to break this ignorance. The Siddhas broke my hold on these beliefs. These Siddhas were radicals who advocated social changes. I understand now why Bharathi threw caste and religion out.  I understand now why Ramalinga Adigal who came before him too threw them aside. Only then did he see the Jothi he says.

Just as the Siddhas removed our ignorance, we are glad that we released the Siddhas from the time warp and from the pages of the books and poems. The Siddhas who were trapped in the leaves of these pages and occasionally became the subject of curiosity and study of many have been given a new leaf. They now live among us.

KUNDALINI

SHOW THEM THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL DEAR LORD

A girl who was referred to us by a relative of hers from India brought her parents and younger sister over to my home in the days when we carried out puja in the past, seeking some solace and a betterment. She gave me a call this morning after a long time. She tells me that her father had passed away since then. She has managed to bring her debts down having repaid them partially. But matrimony it seems was not in her stars. She was in tears as to why the Gods did not take pity on her as she has been asking daily for forgiveness for her past deeds and karma. I could only console her by telling her that like her a couple of devotees had managed to clear their debts, the former entirely and the latter half the outstanding amount and seem to see brighter days ahead. I told her she too shall see bright days ahead. I did not wish to prolong the talk about karma and the knocking she was getting all these years for I too carry my baggage of karma and seek Agathiyar to help me unload it. The Siddhas and the Mahaans can talk about it for they stand above the law of cause and effect. Tavayogi too was not spared as Agathiyar revealed to me. Everyone taking a body shall carry some karma for it is the cause of birth. Only the Avatar is spared. There are many souls like her yearning for the day when all their troubles are washed away. Only the Lord has the answers. 

Surprisingly Agathiyar ended the call having the conversation break. I guess he had me hear sufficient for him to act on since he had told me to be his ears. 

CONTENTMENT

When Goddess Ma came and told me that the vessel or kamandalam of water that she held in her hands was that from the Ganges that flowed from the tresses of Lord Shiva and was gifted to me I told her I could connect with Ramalinga Adigal's song "Arutprakasa Maalai" where the saint sings 100 stanzas ending with how the Lord came in the wee early morning hours walking the distance till his feet became red and sore and knocked his door to pass something in his hands. To this Ma said it was given because I had no expectations. Earlier when Ramalinga Adigal came on 14.5.2020 he too had mentioned "Whenever you say it is enough you shall tend to gain more." Ramalinga Adigal says it beautifully "போதும் என்ற மனமே பொன் செய்யும் மருந்து. நீ போதும் என்று சொல்லும் நிலை உன்னை அறியாமல் நீ பெற்றுக்கொண்டுதான் இருக்கிறாய்."

I guess contentment is the key factor here. Being contented brings on a sense of satisfaction. Being satisfied would mean our efforts would come to a stop. Surrender then surfaces. With total surrender, we then see through their play. I guess this is Summa Eruppathu or remaining still. Being contented with the life given, we are then used for their purpose if the need arises. No karma becomes attached to these actions then. If we do move it is because of them.

Tavayogi was one such candidate whose life took a change after he surrendered to Agathiyar. My brother interviewed him for the English daily THE NEW STRAITS TIMES, MALAYSIA where he was working when Tavayogi came to town in 2005.

June 16, 2005, The Cittar Balance by A. KATHIRASEN

They are the Cittars, who gave the world Siddha medicine, and their teachings revolve around the mind, the breath, and ethical living. A. KATHIRASEN catches up with Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal, a follower of the Cittar philosophy.

He was the owner of a factory making singlets, a successful businessman but at the age of 50 he gave it all up, including his wife and three children, and began a new life as a thuravi, a wandering monk. Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Tamil Nadu, India, wanted to stay far away from people and work on his spiritual growth. So he selected a hill deep in the jungle in Kallaru and built a hut for his home and meditation.

Having studied the works of the scientist-mystics known as the Cittars from his early years, he decided to follow their ways. He practiced the techniques taught by the Cittars and meditated. Adigal renounced family life and all worldly attachments at the age of 50 and became a ‘thuravi’. 

The Cittars (also pronounced Siddhas) are realised souls who lived simple lives. They believed that man was essentially immortal. Apart from teaching the art of living a balanced life, the Cittars devised methods to stimulate cell regeneration so that one could remain young.

The traditional Siddha medicinal system, now gaining in popularity in Malaysia, was evolved by the Cittars who had written treatises about diseases and their cures long before the advent of modern medicine. Many of the poems and songs of the Cittars are shrouded in secret codes that only initiates can comprehend.

Although there have been many Cittars, 18 are particularly revered and Agathiar is the most famous of them. He was the foremost disciple of the first Cittar, Subramaniar.

“Historians give various dates as to when the Cittars lived,” Adigal says, seated in front of large pictures of Subramaniar, Agathiar and Ramalinga Swamigal at the Sri Agathiar Gyana Peedam in Batu Caves.

Adigal, 78, was making his second visit to Malaysia, this time to launch the Sri Agathiar Gyana Peedam, a centre dedicated to the service of mankind, in Batu Caves.

Agathiar, also spelt Agastya, is one of India’s most famous Cittars. There are accounts of him having travelled to Southeast Asia in the hoary past.

“Some of the very old stories mention the Cittars. Agathiar, for instance, is found in both the Mahabharata and the Ramayana.

“But don’t assume that the Cittars are dead and gone.

“They are very much present. I have had many amazing experiences that I can’t talk about, but believe me, they live. But not necessarily in bodily form.”

Legends abound about Cittars who evaporated into thin air or travelled to places such as China and the Middle East where they taught the locals there.

The Cittars teach how man can become a divine being. They set out certain techniques, the most basic and effective of which is Astanga Yoga which is often associated with the Cittar Patanjali.

Astanga Yoga, or eight-limbed yoga, teaches man how to live life, starting from body and ethical discipline to tuning and sharpening the mind to harmonising body and mind to seeing the sacred in everything.

“The Cittars say through yoga we can live well. The secret is in learning to live in balance.

“We must sharpen the mind so that the mind will help us rather than hinder us,” he says as he brushes upwards his grey moustache with the back of his right hand.

Born in Tiruppur, Adigal prepared his wife and children for his new life. He left only after providing for their needs. His family members visit him now and then.

“A few become thuravi like me but the Cittars say you can lead a good life with the family.

“The secret is to live in the world, enjoying things without becoming attached to them. Like the lotus which is not made wet by the water.

Astanga Yoga, he says, helps achieve this.

“Yogasana, makes the body strong and supple and pranayama (yogic breathing) helps keep the internal organs clean and healthy.

“Other aspects of Astanga Yoga help purify the mind and sharpen the intellect.”

Adigal says in the old days kings and governments gave priority to emotional, intellectual and spiritual development. Today, everyone is concerned with material development, about economic figures and forecasts.

“In the past, they used histories, poems and stories such as the Ramayana, Mahabharata and Harichandra Puraanam to teach: men were to live like Rama while women were to emulate Sita.

Everyone was to uphold honesty and integrity like Harichandra. This went deep into the people’s minds and a society of disciplined and virtuous people developed.

“A man’s word was his bond. They learnt not to be slaves to their desires. They learnt contentment.

“Today, things have changed.

“Governments stress the economy. Have we got a growing economy? How many millionaires have we created? Did we send satellites into space? Will people praise us?

“There is no effort to develop the mind, to sharpen the intellect. No effort to teach the art of thinking, the art of life.”

The world will be a better place if emphasis is also given to strengthening the mind, Adigal adds.

So why or how did Adigal, a hermit who has no money or property, first come to Malaysia 18 months ago.

Some inner stirring prompted him to ask a friend who was going to Malaysia to get him a ticket too. Some of his friends came up with the airfare and money for the trip.

“I don’t know what made me do it,” says Adigal, who holds a Masters degree in Tamil Literature from the Annamalai University, with a twinkle in his eyes.

“I just felt an urge to come here and I came.”

It was a brief visit and he did not expect to return. But recently, several Malaysian devotees of the sage Agathiar sought out Adigal on the hill in the jungle and persuaded him to make a second visit to launch the centre in Batu Caves.

“Now, I have so many children here. Malaysians are so caring. Everywhere I go they give me food.

“In fact, they give me too much food. I am afraid that I might get used to the food and comfort here,” he laughs.

The sprightly Adigal is used to living on leaves and fruits he gathers from the jungle, and sometimes the rice and food that devotees bring to him.

He says: “You don’t know how lucky you are. There are many where I come from who are in desperate need of food.”

Despite his life of solitude on the hill, Adigal is involved with a group of hill tribe people who later settled in the area.

He could not remain aloof, looking at the plight of the hill tribe people. Assisted by two disciples, he helps provide food and gives the children school uniform and books, with money provided by devotees.

“I never intended to get involved in society. That was why I went to stay in the jungle,” he says with a pensive look.

“But my guru Agathiar has other plans for me. And that is also why I think, I was made to come to Malaysia.” 

Saying this he ends his interview.

While others need to toil and work their way up the spiritual ladder Agathiyar has made it easy for us to accomplish and come to the state that everyone unknowingly seeks - the state of peace within and without. From Sariyai or simply put visiting the temples, he brought us to engage actively in Kriya, or the rituals that were once the domain of the priestly lot. He then came down as a friend in need, and soon moved house taking up residence in our home and hearts. He came down from his Godly state and moved in with us, walking with us, eating with us, sleeping with us. His touch slowly changed us and bestowed us with wonderful thoughts and things. He revealed his 5 tenets that summed up the purpose of coming here ending all the years of speculation, assumption, and false notions. He offered to bring us to greater heights in the public arena, but we chose to refuse the gifts fearing that fame and power would corrupt us too. Today he stands among us instead, leading us to greater heights - within. Even if we failed to touch, achieve or reach the measure or yardstick that he has placed for us, we shall not despair but remain contented. 

I shared from https://www.intuitiveflow.com/spiritual-development/ the following and commented on these stages of Avastha on 16 July 2020. 

1. In Arambha Avastha "They start experiencing Prana moving throughout their body and their senses of perception are enhanced."

2. In Ghata Avastha "The seed is decaying. It is a time of change and disruption. The yogi/ni is experiencing some resistance and pain whether is mental, physical or emotional. Their whole foundation is shaken or even collapsing as they are shaken to the core mentally and emotionally. The life that they have been living has outgrown its form. They go through a psychic death so that life force energy can be released in a new form." True to these words Agathiyar told me that I had stagnated at Svadisthana and came to give certain techniques to rise up further. Similarly, he gave others certain practices and techniques too. We are seeing a sudden urgency as Agathiyar takes the whip and disciplines us, hastening us, and asking us to show some seriousness in our practices.

3. In Paricaya Avastha we are told that "The seed is now germinating. There is a release of tension and uncertainty. Profound changes and new qualities are emerging. It is a time of deliverance. It is the beginning of a new path. Resistance is dispersed and rectification is happening naturally and easily." We have to wait and see these changes take place as we settle and promise to diligently follow Agathiyar's instructions on the Yogic practices.

4. Nispatti Avastha is where "The blossoming occurs. A new life begins filled with contentment and harmony. The yogi/ni is detached and the Sukha and Duhkha don’t affect them anymore. The yogi/ni submits to the will from above. They are no longer bound by old patterns and attain freedom and liberation." Again we need to wait and see if we qualify and blossom into this state.

Two years later we believe we have arrived there. 

STAYING ALIVE

In the movie, "Thalaivi" which portrays the life story of a former chief minister of Tamil Nadu, a trainee doctor who is assigned to administer and take care of her after her accident, asks permission to leave she is told, "Give me the injection and go." She replies with respect that "An overdose of steroids will create problems in your spinal cord and there will be complications and you shall gain weight. It could be life-threatening."

"Do as you are told," says the minister. "Don't lecture me on its side effects. You are just a trainee doctor. Why are you bothered anyway with what happens to me? What do you care what happens to me?"

When she is asked why she cares so much whether she lives or not, the trainee doctor replies that she should live, and should live long to continue her service to the people of the state. "You got to stay alive. You got to stay alive for us." 

The young doctor replies politely that "Your victory becomes every woman's victory. You saved millions of children of Tamil Nadu from hunger and gave them an education. I am one of them. My education and my life, everything is your gift. I remember even today the day your car stopped at the railway gate. You asked "Didn't you go to school" and I replied that "If I go to school I will starve to death. By selling peanuts I can at least make some money."

The trainee doctor says that "You got to stay alive. You got to stay alive for us". She asks the minister to sleep for at least an hour and takes leave.

I was moved to watch this scene days ago although I had seen the movie several times. 

Agathiyar too slogs to keep us alive although we have thrown caution to the wind and are set to destroy this body that houses the divine by our ways and desires and in seeking pleasures of the senses. He wants to keep us alive to do his work. Thus with a healthy body, the Siddhas through us then work towards carrying out the given mission for the spiritual advancement and good of humanity.

In helping me overcome the fear of death recently, he had my body paralyzed from the neck below momentarily. It felt like dead wood. I was asking if this is how the body becomes upon death. Death is another doorway to another journey says Agathiyar. One who faces death boldly is indeed a Siddha he says. மரணபயம் வேண்டாம்.  மரணம் ஒன்றும் அல்ல. மற்றொரு பயணத்தின் கதவு.  எவன் ஒருவன் மரணத்தை அன்போடு வரவேற்கின்றானோ அவன் சித்தன் ஆகின்றான். 

Agathiyar says that he has much for me to do hence I need to stay hale and healthy. For now, he wants me to continue writing. He wants me to write about the internal changes taking place instead of writing about his fame. He asks me to experience it first and he shall clarify later. There is nothing beyond gaining these experiences he says. 

உன்னில் இருந்து நான் காரியங்கள் செய்வதற்கு இன்னும் நிறைய இருக்கிறது. எனது பெருமை போதும். இனி உன் எழுத்துக்கள் உடல் மாற்றங்கள் உடல் அனுபவம் பற்றியதாக இருக்கட்டும். ஜோதியினை வழிபட்டால் அதில் இணைய வேண்டும் என்றால் உடலில் எவ்வித மாற்றங்கள் ஏற்படும் என்று உன் வாசகர்களுக்குத் தெரிய படுத்து. அனுபவமே உனக்கு அறிவு. அனுபவத்தைத் தாண்டி ஒன்றுமே இல்லை. உனது அனுபவம் எனது அறிவு. நீ அனுபவம் கொண்டுவா, பின்னர் உரைக்கிறேன். 

Indeed we understand now why Ramalinga Adigal put down his experiences in words so that others can compare notes and verify the sanctity of their experiences too. For instance, in his song கண்புருவப் பூட்டு, he says that the Devas and Trinity speak about him. 

"சிற்சபையும் பொற்சபையும் சொந்தமென தாச்சு
தேவர்களும் மூவர்களும் பேசுவதென் பேச்சு
இற்சமய வாழ்வில்எனக் கென்னைஇனி ஏச்சு
என்பிறப்புத் துன்பமெலாம் இன்றோடே போச்சு."

Goddess Ma in coming to us several days back told us the same that just as we constantly speak about the Siddhas, they too often speak about us. 

Lord Muruga too when he came to heal me in 2018 told me not to invite death. When a sudden sneeze that came on as I was crossing the street one day in 2016, brought back the pain I suffered in 2010, 2011, and 2012 in the lower back and my legs, Lord Muruga reminded me through a Nadi reading for a friend, "Do not invite Death!" Although his words were harsh I knew he meant well and out of concern for me. He told me not to invite Yama, the Lord of Death, willingly. I took it as a reminder to care for the body well and to live life to the fullest. He recommended a Siddha medicine to take internally and an ointment for external use in his Nadi. Agathiyar on his part suggested another five. I was blessed to have Siddha practitioner and guru of Arulguru Aghathiyar Arulsithar Peedam in Bandar Botanic, Klang, prepare these in the strictest manner and according to the Siddha text and have Suren delivered to me during that period of my immobility and forced solitude. 

Lord Muruga stresses the need to maintain the physical body and extend its battery life by connecting with the life force and charging it frequently. Hence the need to do rituals, tapas, Yogasanas, and meditation arises, which energizes the body which then heals from within and is kept in top form to perform the work of the Siddhas.

The Siddhas have given us all the means and mechanisms to live longer and keep Yama at bay. Their priority was to upkeep, maintain and sustain the body, in the peak of health; to ensure only enriching experiences were recorded onto the soul; eventually, merge the spirit within with the source. They remind us of how sacred this birth is and that given a wonderful body that performs with exact precision, we ought not to bring it to fall in disgrace succumbing to illness and disease. 

LIVING IN THEIR SHADOWS

As I had written earlier that I had phlegm built up excessively in me since 8.9.2022 after my train journey back from my wife's hometown, and I knew it as a continuous process of expelling the excesses in the three dosas, Vata, Kapha, and Pita, seeing my plight, Goddess Ma collected the Holy waters of the Ganges that streams from the tresses of Lord Shiva, into Agathiyar's kamandalam, or drinking vessel, and added a pinch of the sacred ash, and had me drink it telling me that it shall rid and purge the remaining dosas, a devotee passed me an herbal preparation of the herb Solanum Trilobatum or Thuthuvalai that removes "difficulty in breathing, sinus, chest congestion, and other respiratory problems." Just as many strangers knocked on the door of Jnana Jothiamma's apartment in Chennai and passed her herbal preparations and gifts, this devotee too passed me the sacred ash too that came from Chidambaram to be used with water to emulate Shiva's Ganga waters and to be taken. Goddess Ma told me she was there to deliver Agathiyar's appreciation for our services and to bring forth Lord Shiva's Ganges water that flows from his tresses. I saw a similarity with Ramalinga Adigal's song "Arutpirakasa Maalai" where he sings of how Lord Shiva as Nadarajah came in the wee early morning hours walking the distance till his feet became red and sore just to deliver something rare in his hands in the confines of his home. Though I cannot remember or trace the source I came to understand later that it was Agathiyar who had come with two sweets (laddu that signified Jnana) and handed them to Ramalinga Adigal.

Yesterday as I flipped through the pages of the book "Sittar Meiporul", authored by V. Balaramaiah, I was surprised by the following paragraph.

There is a door where if it is opened ambrosia or the pure Ganges water drips and fills the entire body. In writing on the 10 Deeksha, Balaramaiah says, this Holy water sets the stage for one to arrive at the body that surpasses the 5 elements. 

அமுதம் சிதாகாசத்தில் அமைந்துள்ளது. இதையே பிரம்மரந்திர மென்றும் சொல்லுவார். இந்த சிதாகாசத்திற்கு ஒரு வாயிற் கதவு உண்டு. இதற்கு ஒரு பூட்டு உண்டு. இதைத் திறந்த நிமிடமே சுத்த கங்கை என்னும் அமுது சொட்ட ஆரம்பிக்கிறது. 

வள்ளலார் உண்ட அமுதமே சுத்த கெங்கை. இதுவே அமிர்த ரசம். இதுவே பகீரதன் வெகு பிரயாசையுடன் சிவன் முடியிலிருந்து இறக்கிய கெங்கை. சிதாகாசத்திலிருந்து சொட்டும் இந்தக் கங்கையே மரணமிலாப் பெரு வாழ்வுக்கு நம்மை உய்ப் பிக்கும். பாபங்களெல்லாம் போக்கும்.

இந்தப் பஞ்ச பூதங்களுக்கும் அப்பாற்பட்ட ஞானியினுடைய தேகம் சித்திய டையும் காலத்தில் ஏற்படும் மாறுபாடுகளைத் தசதீட்சை என்று சொல்வார். இந்த தீட்சை முன்குறிப்பிட்ட அமுதமென்ற சிவ நீரைப் பருகுவதால் உண்டாகக் கூடியது 

Know that the first three Deeksha has taken place subtly when toxins are rid from the skin pores as sweat; excess Vata, Kapha, and Pita are eradicated; and old tissues and cells are rid of. In the fourth Deeksha the skin is shed as in the snake. Jnana Jothiamma tells me that seven layers of skin are shed. 

Annie Besant in her talks on "The Laws of the Higher Life", the Theosophical Publishing House, 1903, says that "Here we see a consciousness that shapes bodies according to its needs, gradually refining them and bringing them under the control of the higher." 

In her book "Avatara-s", The Theosophical Publishing House, 2002, she writes,

"... inasmuch as the body is an instrument we have to use, a certain treatment of the body is necessary so that we may turn our footsteps in the direction of the Path. The body alone will never take us to the heights we aspire to, yet to neglect it will make it impossible for us to attempt those heights at all. ... The body needs to be refined, to be improved, to be molded into such a form, and made of such constituents as may best fit it to be the instrument on the physical plane for man's highest purposes."

"... the purification of the dense body then, consists in a process of deliberate selection of the particles permitted to compose it; the man will take into it the way of food the purest constituents he can obtain, rejecting the impure and the gross."

For those intending to do so, Besant allays the fear and regrets at having sent in gross impure food, telling us that, "... by natural change the particles built into it in the days of his careless living will gradually pass away, at least within seven years - although the process may be considerably hastened."

Jnana Jothiamma too was asked to endure the intense pain that came with these bodily transformations since the body had to expel all the tissues and cells that came to be as a result of eating meat during all her years of living in ignorance. Agathiyar in consoling Jnana Jothiamma and asking her to bear the pain and suffering told her that the cleansing had to be expedited and that her meat intake of the past sixty years that went on to compose her body had to be expelled. She had to go through a grueling cleansing process where for instance she vomited 32 times a day. She told me one had to shed seven layers of skin too. She told me that I would not possibly endure the process. It is said that their bodies would undergo severe changes and would be hideous to look at during this period of transformation. I had wondered if this is the reason the saints went into hiding some as many as twelve years before reappearing in society, having undergone a massive transformation, thus avoiding being ridiculed and made fun of by society. But I was surprised to see the cold and wet feeling come on in the crown of my head even when I took to task my neighbor's kids for making a din late at night. If that is the case one then need not go into hiding but came to have this bliss right in the midst of the marketplace. I guess this feeling is here to stay in all circumstances. Is this the everlasting bliss that Tavayogi asks us to seek rather than the momentary bliss that comes on due to the senses and external causes from time to time?

This Holy water reminds me of how Agathiyar had me consume his Agathiyar Kuzhambu, a herbal preparation prepared by Siddha physician Thiru Arivan, and had me prepare and place the water outdoors till 5pm and to have me drink it when I woke up to go to the loo in the middle of the night and finish it upon waking up the next day. The former was to be taken six months once while the latter was daily. But I only managed to take the latter for 51 days before giving it up. Both these were done to bring a balance to the three dosas and expel the excesses.

We are indeed blessed that we did not go through the amount of pain that Agathiyar, Tavayogi, and Jnana Jothiamma went through. As the devotee who shared the same experiences mentioned, what appeared as mere words in books are being experienced these days by their grace. The words of Ramalinga Adigal which are also God's words are being realized in the self these days by their grace. 

TAKING BABY STEPS

As I took a stroll in the park with my grandson this morning the feeling in my crown came on and lasted for some time. As I key in this post it has come back. It is wet and cold. As I wonder what is taking place in me, another devotee who came over to AVM to conduct libation to Agathiyar's Murthy, shared her story of internal changes taking place within her. I was glad as I had a companion and a comrade as they were similar to a large extent.

I wish many more would come to realize this state of bliss. I wish I could share it with others with just a touch. But we all know that one has to place the effort towards reaching the goals, not those set by him but by the divine masters. He has to surrender in the very first place and let the divine fix his life. Upon surrender, the divine gives him remedies or parikara to carry out that would soften the hold of his past karma or dilute them. He is given practices and rituals to conduct to further crucify his past karma. He then takes on noble thoughts and actions that bring on fresh merits that then tip the scale and bring a balance to the scale. He then moves from action to inaction bringing a stop to even the accumulation of these merits further. He becomes passive and remains an observer and a watcher. Time and space stop. He becomes "It". If he moves it is because of the divine will. Every action of his henceforth is that of the divine. The divine shall heal him and extend his life so that he can serve His purpose. He becomes a Jeevan Mukta. No karma befalls him out of these actions for it is all willed by the divine. 

WE ARE BLESSED INDEED 2

We are blessed to have our gurus shadow us and quickly change our course in event of impending danger or putting a temporary stop to our venture only to continue at another and right time. I have to reiterate again the dangers that luke if we carry out the spiritual practices on the path without a proper guru who could be reached at all times. Make sure the guru who initiates you into these powers is available to you whenever the need arises to refer to him on your progress or when problems crop up. Do not accept any initiation from a visiting guru whom you know you cannot meet again or call up for advice. I have seen way too many seekers and aspirants suffer as a result of these gurus' ignorance, ego, and stupidity. I was made aware last night by a friend that a 48-year-old housewife who was a sibling of another friend of ours, passed away after attempting to do a headstand in an online Yoga class. She had reported signs of dizziness and was admitted later but the doctors could not save her neither could the teacher who taught her and others online. She apparently had several medical issues and was on medication. 

A seeker after leaving his home in search of masters who were big names in the industry and after having stayed and served in their ashrams returned home disappointed. Later he was initiated by someone locally with whom he had dropped out of favor as I came to know from his wife later. She accused him of having blocked his chakras purposely. I never knew a guru could do harm to his disciple until then. 

Besides that, a visiting master touched his navel that brought on intense energy within on their very first meeting. They never met again. When unfamiliar and abnormal things began moving within he had nowhere to seek help. Hearing about Tavayogi's visit to my home he dropped in but never spoke about his misadventures in the spiritual line. He only opened the can of worms later to me in private. I was blamed by his wife that I had triggered an outpouring of lunacy and spiritual madness after I had passed on a Cd of Ramalinga Adigal's Agaval. I was baffled outright. Today after 15 years, I understand that the divine number had caused an eruption in him, bringing forth the pent-up energies that he had collected in the 25 years of search just as tourists collect souvenirs from the countries they visit. Agathiyar hauled him to my home and released this energy. I understood further that since his wife was not able to understand and help him through his spiritual endeavor further, Agathiyar had put a stop to his ventures. They are back to being one happy family. The day she comes to understand and gives the green light he shall continue from where he stopped. It saddens me that he was so close to hitting the target. 

Another seeker who was initiated by a homebred master had energies moving within him and approached me for advice and healing. When I told him to seek out the master who brought on the mess, he replied that his master had become mad and was roaming the streets. He knocked on the doors of several establishments run in the name of the Siddhas but failed to find a cure. Finally, he told me he had lost faith in the Siddhas and went his way. 

A seeker from Delhi messaged me telling me that having learned and put into practice the teachings of the various schools available he ended up with energy blockages. None of his masters could help him. He wondered if Tavayogi could help. I told him that I have never known Tavayogi to heal another. After 8 years he was still waiting for a remedy.

Recently another reader from Delhi called to ask if Agathiyar could help with the toothache that he had to endure the past year. I told him to see the dentist. He had seen but did not want to extract the tooth or go for a root canal surgery. Since he has had an initiation during one of those mass initiation events I asked him to refer to the master. He replied that the master was not accessible. I told him Agathiyar had bigger matters to attend to.

A lady who was seen as a right-hand man or rather woman and used to organize her master's events in her state and I used to exchange and talk about our respective gurus while her husband attends to repairs to my car. She fell out in favor after some time for reasons not made known to me. Soon she fell ill. I guess she could not go back to her former guru. One day she calls me up to ask if I was still in touch with Agathiyar and Tavayogi's Kallar ashram. She asks for ways to pray to the Siddhas. She has had some spiritual people drop in at her home. One told her that someone was waiting outside her house for an invitation from her to come in. The description given matched that of Agathiyar. Another told her that the Siddhas wanted her to come to their worship. Hence the reason she called.

Another visiting guru is seen felling seekers to the floor after placing his hand on their head and forehead like felling timber. But, for God's sake, there are elderly people in the midst. Are they prepared to take in these energies at that age? For all I know, their body might not be in top form and be a vehicle or vessel to take on these intense energies at that age. Unknowing to me, my chakras were activated by Agathiyar in a most subtle way recently. He came later to explain what took place. He tells me that generally, the body cannot take on the energy when chakra activation takes place late in life. This is what Tavayogi too had told me when I asked to see him merge in the light or Jothi. He told me that he had missed the boat as his age was then 69. It has to happen before 60 he said. 

We were later surprised by a dream that came to a devotee residing in South Africa after Tavayogi's demise. She saw Tavayogi onboard a boat that was heading for an island where Siddhas, Rishis, and Munis were going about their chores. Who should steer the boat but Lord Shiva. Dhanvantri too came to console us telling us (contrary to Tavayogi's belief that he did not make the mark), that Tavayogi had merged in the light and shall henceforth guide us in that form. In his absense in the physical form Agathiyar has come to stand in for him. 

We are grateful that the Siddhas are on hand to guide and look over our shoulders. What about these poor folks? Where would they go or turn to if the invocation and initiation of these energies run amok and do havoc and harm them? Do they have the Siddhas with them just as we have them at our sides? What happens after the initiator leaves the country? Will he be accessible to them in any way? Will he take responsibility for his actions?

It saddens me to see how many seekers and beginners, followers and devotees, aspirants and sadhakas on the spiritual path and the general public are being manipulated, by godmen who think that they are doing good but are in fact messing up others' lives, just to boost their ratings, publicity, viewership, fellowship, and numbers. Mahindren told me something that really made sense. If Ramalinga Adigal wanted to arouse anything for that matter in his followers he would have done that. So too the many saints of the past. We have never read about them giving initiation or activating energies en masse or for a price. It always happens between the guru and student away from the public eye. We learn of many gurus giving this initiation to potential candidates with their look, their touch, passing on mantras, etc on their very first meeting itself. But these gurus are a divine personification. They have the ability to see through the past karma of those who stand before them, verify their standing, and only then pass on this Sakti, knowing pretty well that the recipient is ready for the initiation and his body can take on the energy. The recipients in this case would have done their homework in past lives and were ready to continue from where they left off. And this transmission is always done one-to-one. 

In other cases the guru follows us for some time, said to be 12 years according to Tavayogi, watching us closely if we have the qualities to make a good student and possibly a guru someday for their name is at stake. A failed guru and disciple will taint the good name of the lineage. Questions will arise as to how he was judged the right candidate among many to receive the highest order or award from their predecessors, gurus and the entire lineage. Nothing comes easy as far as these genuine gurus are concerned. They want us to place the effort, and carry out certain practices, and only then do they come to uplift us. There is no easy way out. It has always been that way. Neither did the Siddhas nor Tavayogi and Supramania Swami dish out mantras or initiations for the asking. Although Tavayogi gave whoever walked into the local Peedham, an initiation, it was not an energy transfer. 

Some I came to understand to my shock and dismay later, are capable of siphoning our energies in the name of giving initiations. But that is an entirely different story. We shall keep that for another rainy day. Hence tread with utmost care and never surrender yourself to any stranger until you are convinced of their genuineness and divinity.

It is important that we submit our dues and surrender to one guru wholely. If we cannot bring ourselves to submit to another fellow human in the role of a guru, take the hands of the divine instead and build a relationship with him, first as a devotee and servant, and later after surrendering, as his slave. He shall come in the hours of our need and later be available 24/7 till the end. 

Before parting, it saddens me to see devotees see Agathiyar only as a physician, a counselor, and an astrologer. They never saw him as the light that leads us from darkness and ignorance. They never saw him as the guide to Jnana or spiritual wisdom. They never saw him as the Paramatma from whom we came to be.

WE ARE BLESSED INDEED 1

Watching the movie "Within the Whirlwind" reminds us to cherish and appreciate the freedom we have. Watching another movie "Chances Are" reminds us to let go. So have many other movies given us pertinent lessons to go by. Goddess Ma when she came the first time and addressed us surprisingly spoke about the Siddhas path that we were traveling telling us that the path was one of gaining experiences and learning lessons from it. Yesterday she came again and conveyed the message that our gurus were delighted with the service we accorded to them and our role in enhancing their fame. She then pointed out to us that Agathiyar was in joy. True enough we could see his teeth in the grin on his face in the Murthy at AVM.

This is how close we have come to being with them. And it all started with our home puja and the recitation of their names which invited them into our homes to, first, visit and later to stay for good. Bringing our search to an end these days they come to deliver the much sought-after treasures by many in the confines of our homes. 

I had phlegm build up excessively in me since 8.9.2022 after my train journey back from my wife's hometown, only God knows from where it was manufactured. I knew it as a continuous process of expelling the excess in the three dosas. Seeing my plight, Goddess Ma collected the Holy waters of the Ganges that streams from the tresses of Lord Shiva, into Agathiyar's kamandalam, or drinking vessel, and had me drink it telling me that it shall rid and purge the remaining dosas. What a marvel. 

If anyone had told me all these happened in his life in the past I would have listened with disbelief and moved on. But when it happens in your life you cannot brush it off as a hallucination or mind play. So when a reader of this blog came along to place me through clinical trials and prove that I was hallucinating I told him I shall not be a subject of his experiment and instead told him to carry out all that I did to arrive at a conclusion rather than try to prove his hypotheses right.

You have to walk the path to discover its secrets. There is no other way to do it. Leaning on others' experiences or learning from theirs gives us only knowledge but not the joy and pain that comes with these experiences. These days we can connect much with Ramalinga Adigal's experiences that were documented and released as the Tiruarutpa after reaching those states too. We understand the rare statements that Tavayogi made as he walked passed us or walked with us after coming to this state. What were mere words in the sacred texts are realized now as we reach the said states.

So when Ma told me she was there to deliver Agathiyar's appreciation and Lord Shiva's Ganges water I saw a similarity with Ramalinga Adigal's song "Arutpirakasa Maalai" where he sings of how the Lord came in the wee early morning hours walking the distance till his feet became red and sore just to deliver something rare in his hands in the confines of his home.

THE DOMINO EFFECT

In speaking to us about our karma the Siddhas I guess are telling us about the Domino effect and the larger Butterfly effect that we have all brought onto ourselves and the world around us through the ages and through the thousands of births we might have taken in the past. Nay it could even be in the several past Yugas as Agathiyar made us aware of the extent of karma that goes back yugas through a couple.

If the Domino effect "typically refers to a linked sequence of events where the time between successive events is relatively small", the Butterfly effect is said to be "any situation where a small change is supposed to be the cause of larger consequences."

Something I did in the way past or maybe in a previous birth (or several) or maybe in another Yuga has determined this day in my life. So, it seems that we come or rather are placed in an awkward position where there is no escape. Life was not a choice. It seems so. But the Siddhas who prefer to see and speak to our souls say we have had a choice right from day one. The journey according to them starts not on this earth but a different plane where we are with God. Neale Donald Walsch in his series of books, "Conversation with God" shares a children's parable titled "The Little Soul and the Sun", adapted from his book 1 in the series, where a young soul who knew he was light wanted to experience it. He asks God to experience light. So, he is given a choice to pick the desired action that he would like to do, from a list of many, once he is on earth. He chooses the act of forgiving. Another soul immediately steps up to join the soul in fulfilling its wish by being the perpetrator so that the young soul can then forgive him. They both come down to earth to live out their desire. 

As Neale wrote, knowing who we are was not enough; we needed to become "it", this desire triggers a chain of events. A learning process takes place, and several experiences are recorded, whereby the soul becomes enriched through these experiences. We, being light in essence, for want of experiencing it, had darkness and all opposites created for us. As all the souls are perfect, many wanted and volunteered to come down to help us gain the experience. Thus, we had all known each other earlier. We had planned to be together here. Those who needed a particular experience chose to come early while others remained behind to join later.

But as we are governed by the 96 tattvas, we fail to see through the screen held up by Maya, the illusionist. I guess if we start to see the soul, we might recognize it and come to terms or come to a compromise. The reason we clash head-on is because of the existence of ego or a self, identity and individuality that differentiates us in all manner. 

FEELING THE THROB

Last night as I lay on my sofa in the living room with my eyes close, my finger that was touching the crown of my head could feel a pulse. This is observed in small children. It was there for some time. Modern science brushes this off as "feeling a pulse in the fingertip. It refutes that "there is no way that our fingers would be able to detect any blood flow given the condition that between the finger and the scalp and the arteries of our brain is the skull." If that was the case, when I place my finger on inanimate objects, I should feel the pulse too right? 

Children are still connected with their home, the source. They are divine in nature. The Buddha-nature in them is very obvious. Henry Wei in his book “The Guiding Light of Lao Tzu”, Synergy Books International, writes that both Lao Tzu and Jesus consider reversion to the state of a child as necessary for salvation for entrance into the kingdom of heaven. In the eyes of Lao Tzu, “the infant with its pristine purity and innocence is the perfect symbol of Tao itself.” He goes on to say that one needs to bring tenderness in him. 

"Imagine being like a little child again and believing everything you hear. There is something so wonderful about that trusting, open-hearted naivete that God loves. The more I have grown up, the more I realize that maturity in Christ is all about “growing down.” It is about becoming a child again. Not being childish but being childlike in our ways and our thinking." (Source: http://www1.cbn.com/Devotions/being-a-child)

Lord Muruga came to instruct us to open up our hearts and soul and to surrender. Ramalinga Adigal came to ask us to do the same too. உங்கள் ஆத்மவை திறந்து வையுங்கள், உங்கள் இதயத்தைத் திறந்து  வையுங்கள். 

After setting us to carry out puja of the Siddhas in 2002, that was an offshoot of our usual puja to the pantheon of Hindu Gods and Goddesses and introducing the act of doing charity and slowly introducing Yoga into our lives, he had us call it a day and shut it all down. This came in a timely manner when the world too was forced to brings the shutters down on all our daily activities. We were kept indoors. Coming out of the pandemic and this period of isolation, I felt I had wasted precious time in sitting at home as we were busy with all the activities earlier. But I soon was made to realize that spiritualism was not about gaining things but about losing them. We were emptied during those years of isolation. Now the divine has come to fill us in with his knowledge and not that which we picked up earlier. The divine has come to have us do his work and not the work that we planned and executed to our hearts desire. In total surrender he comes within to do his work in us and later have us do his work. When we became trusting and open hearted, they moved in into our hearts. Our body and self were theirs then, the former became a temple and the latter his soul. 

If we are to "grow down" as said earlier, the physical body too I guess at this stage grows down. Dr. C Srinivasan in his "An Introduction to the Philosophy of Saint Ramalingam", translates the moments when Ramalinga Adigal goes through a total internal transformation.

"The Swami says that the skin-the dermis and the epidermis have become extremely soft. All the nerves and the tendons have become gradually loosened. All the bones membranous and cartilaginous have become automatically pliable. All the muscles and the muscular tissues have become loosened. All the blood has become internally coagulated. The semen has become not only hardened but concentrated in a unit. The brain and all its parts the cerebrum, the cerebellum, and the medulla oblongata have loosened as an opening blossom. Throughout the body, an elixir oozes out and flows and fills up all the parts. Externally the forehead perspires. The face becomes brilliant. There is a delicacy, soft and mild, sweet and harmonious in the tender and cool breathing. The hair splits. The tear glands are so profusely pouring in the eyes that it flows through the feet. The mouth gasps with a trembling note. The ears and their delicate parts are filled with melody. The entire body has become cool. The chest and the heart are throbbing. The palms are folded. The legs are staggering. The four different aspects of the mind have respectively attained a melting mood, have the sparkling filled, have harmoniously heartened, and have then and there, the repercussions put down. The heart swells with anxiety to see the whole world (of love). All the visible parts of the body are blooming with ecstasy. The life-bound ego which spurts out through the senses has vanished. All the blemishes that surround the heart and the mind have been extinguished. The tender and soft loving and affectionate, mercy and compassionate quietism stand out. All the world and worldly affairs are hidden. The ardent desire for receiving the Supreme Grace is increasing and overflowing. Now the God Supreme in the form of Supreme love fills up the body fully enshrining divine life."

It is interesting to note here that he mentioned "The brain and all its parts the cerebrum, the cerebellum, and the medulla oblongata have loosened as an opening blossom." Science describes the skull of a child as follows.

"The fetal skull contains cranial bones that have not yet joined together. The spaces that lie between the large cranial bones (the frontal bone, the parietal bone, the temporal bone and the occipital bone) are the membrane-bound fontanelle. This is why newborn have a "soft spot" on their head. The anterior fontanelle is the largest of the fontanelles. It forms a "diamond-shape" structure and can take between 12 and 18 months to form the coronal suture that joins the frontal bone to the parietal bones. The anterior fontanelle closes at about 12-18 months and is larger than the other. The posterior and sphenoidal fontanelle appear more "triangular-shaped" and close within a couple of months. The posterior fontanelle will close to form the lambdoidal suture that joins the occipital bone with the parietal bones. The sphenoidal fontanelles (one lying laterally at each side of the cranium) will close to form the squamosal suture. The squamosal suture is bordered anteriorly by the frontal bone, superiorly by the parietal bone, posteriorly by the squamous portion of the temporal bone, and inferiorly by the greater wing of the sphenoid bone that joins the temporal lobes with the sphenoid. (Source: https://www.scientistcindy.com/the-skull-anatomy.html)

From the universe, we took the five elements to become the embryo and fetus. We grew into a child, a toddler, a kid, a teen, a youth, a man, and thus ends our lives. The saints teach us to reverse the process. Pursuing further only the experience of Brahmam exists. This is Samadhi.

When Agathiyar said the Atma in its subtle form stays from 1 to 5 Varagai with the child before it's veiled, this was interesting as I grew up hearing the story from my mother that Lord Brahma, (who determines our fate, and which Agathiyar speaks of in the memo too), speaks to the newborn child revealing her life day by day. When the fetal skull closes the conversation with God ends. This is why we see all sorts of emotion in a newborn. The child smiles, cries etc. in its sleep. The elders always warn us not to press the soft spot on the head. We feel this spot throbbing when we place our palm on it. Agathiyar too told me not to allow anyone to touch my head at one stage. He also told me not to fall at anyone's feet. Now I understand after sensing the throb in the crown of my head weeks before when he activated the chakras within. 

Agathiyar tells me the Kundalini was activated way back in 2007. But I was not aware of any changes be it physical or otherwise then. Later during the post pandemic period, he told me I had stagnated in worldly affairs. He continued, "You cannot possibly break the shackle alone. Hence follow the practices that I am to give you." நீ உலக வாழ்க்கையில் நீர்தேங்கிறாய். இவ்கடிவாளத்தால் உம்மால் மீண்டு வர இயலாது. ஆகையால் யாம் சொல்லும் வழிமுறைகளைச் செய்து வா.

He said further, "Reduce your involvement in outside activities. Sit before me and meditate. During this moment carry out the cleansing breath as taught by your guru. Just the important ones. You shall sense a coolness within. Remain silent in these moments. Focus on your breath. Your breath shall touch the Suzhimunai and swirl. Travel along your seven chakras. That journey shall awaken your chakras. After traversing these chakras when it touches the seventh you shall know your purpose here. This is the right time to start this practice. Agathiyar continued on the changes to be expected, "You shall witness many changes taking place within you. Do not fear. Due to the activation of the chakras your body shall emit foul smell. You shall have constipation. You shall urinate often. Take lots of warm water.  The Agathiyar Kuzhambu you took did help in expelling the 3 dosas. But there still is. It shall be expelled in due time. Carry out the said practice." 

வெளி உலக பயணம் சற்று குறைத்துக் கொள். தினமும் காலையில் குளித்து வெறும் வேஷ்டி அணிந்து என் முன் அமர்ந்து தியானம் செய்து வா. தியான முறையின் பொது உமது குரு கூறிய சுவாச சுத்திகரிப்பு பயிற்சியினை செய்து வா. அனைத்தும் வேண்டாம். மூல பயிற்சி மட்டும் போதும். அதை நீ செய்து வர உனக்குள் ஒரு தனி குளிர்ச்சி ஏற்படும். அந்நிலையில் நீ அமைதி கோல். உனது மூச்சில் கவனம் கோல். உமது மூச்சு உமது சுழிமுனை தோட்டு சூழும். உமது ஏழு சக்கரங்களில் பயணம் செய். அப்பயணம் உமது சக்கரங்கள் ஒவ்வொன்றாய் பூர்த்தி செய்யும். மூலாதாரம், ஸ்வாதிஷ்டானம், மணிபூரகம், அனாகதம், விசுத்தி, ஆக்கினையென ஏழாவது சக்கரம் தொடும் நிலையில் நீ உனது பிறவிக்கான பலனை அறிவாய். இத்தருணம் மான் மூச்சு குளத்தில் இருக்கிறது. அவை திறக்கும் தருணம் வந்தது. இப்பொழுதுதான் நீ உமது பயிற்சியினை தொடங்க வேண்டும். இந்நிலையில் அச்சக்கரம் முற்றும் திறந்து விடும். உடலில் பல மாற்றங்கள் கண்டறிவாய். பயம் கொள்ள வேண்டாம். இச்சக்கரங்கள் புணர்ச்சியால் உன் உடலில் ஏற்படும் மாற்றங்கள், துர்நாற்றம் வீசும், மல சிக்கல் ஏற்படும், கழிவு ஆகும், சிறுநீர் அதிகம் வெளியேறும். வெந்நீர் அதிகம் அருந்து. அன்று நீ உண்ட குழம்பினாள் உன் உடலிலிருந்து வாத, பித்த, கபம் சற்றே அகன்றது. இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. அவை அகலும். இப்பயிற்சியினை மேற்கோள்.

Agathiyar enlightens us further. "When one starts the journey in going within, the result is Gnanam. But it shall vary among people. Hence, I cannot say exactly what shall take place. All this while you have gained external knowledge or Ulaga Gnana. Now you shall gain Gnana that is going to serve you." 

ஒருவன் தனக்குள் உள்வாங்கி அவனுள் பயணம் துவங்கும் நேரம் அப்பயணம் தரும் பாதிப்பே ஞானம். அவை ஒவ்வொருவருக்கும் மாற்றம் பெரும். ஆகையால் அவை நான் இதுதான் என்று சொல்ல இயலாது. நீ இதுவரையில் கண்ட ஞானம் உலக வாழ்க்கை ஞானம். இனி காணப்போவது உனக்கான ஞானம். 

Ramalinga Adigal came on 14.5.2020 and asked me if I had understood the purpose of asking me to go within and if I am experiencing changes in my body? "This is only the start," he says when I brief him on the changes within. He adds, "You shall lay the steppingstones and progress at your pace. Effort is needed. What you are doing currently is wonderful. Continue with it. Watching your breath is right. You are changing its flow correctly. Continue with it. You are on the first step. Prana moving in you is itself Pranava Degam. When you sense the Pranavam you shall question yourself if the Pranam is traveling in you or if you are hitching on it and traveling in it. When you reach that state, you shall have the answer. That moment shall be one of extreme bliss. Go deep within this bliss. There is more. There is much to learn. You have my blessings. I shall travel with you till you reach the destination. I shall accompany those who go deep within. Follow your breath. Place the effort and you shall reach the destination." 

உன் உள் பயணத்தை அறிந்து கொண்டாயா? தேக மாற்றம் உணருகிறாயா? இதுவே துவக்கம். உனது முயற்சியே உனது படி. தற்போது நீ செய்து வரும் சிறப்பு. அதைத் தொடர்ந்து செய்து வா. சுவாசத்தை கவனித்துக் கொண்டிருப்பது சரியே. அதை நீ மாற்றிக் கொண்டு வருகிறாய். தொடர்ந்து செய்து வா. முதல் படியில் இருக்கிறாய். பிராண சக்தி ஊடுருவிச் செல்கிறதே அதுவே பிரணவ தேகம்.  பிரணவத்தின் சக்தி உணரும் தருணம் உன் பிரணவத்தால் ஊடுகிறாயா? அல்லது பிரணவம் உன்னுள் ஊடுகிறதா என்று தோன்றும். என்று அப்படியில் காலடி வைகிறாயோ அன்று உமக்கு விடை பிறக்கும். பிரணவத்தின் நீயே அதைக் காண்பாய். அது பேர் ஆனந்தம்.  இன்பத்தில் ஆழ்ந்து கொண்டு வா. இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. நீ கற்பதற்கு இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. எனது பரிபூரண ஆசியோடு கற்பிப்பாய். உன்னுள் ஜோதி எரியும் வரை நான் உன்னோடு வருவேன். ஆழ்ந்து இருப்போருடன் நான் சேர்ந்து இருக்கிறேன். உமது பிரணவத்தை கொண்டு செல். ஜோதியோடு கலப்பாய்.

In July 2020 Agathiyar breaks the news that the opening of the Muladhara chakra after practicing the series of Pranayama exercises Tavayogi gave which he described as a treasure had ponded at Svadishthana was about to break free from the bunds and the water released to enable it to make its journey further. "Your Muladhara and Svadhisthana are open. The breath is currently lodged in Svadhisthana. The time of its opening is near. Now is the right time to start your practice. This would open up the chakra completely. You will see many changes take place in your body. Don't be afraid. In activating these chakras your body shall smell foul, you shall have constipation, and you shall urinate often. The Agathiyar Kuzhambu you consumed earlier (on 27 June 2022) helped stabilize your Vata, Kapha, and Pitta. Yet these Dosas need to be expelled further. Your journey till this day was external and was for worldly existence. Now you shall tread a journey that takes you within. You will come to understand the reason you were born. When your breath touches the Suzhimunai (சுழுமுனை) and travels, engaging with the chakras, upon reaching the seventh chakra, you shall get the answer. At that moment a Sakti will come within. That is சுழுமுனை or Suzhimunai. In traveling within when everything becomes clear that is Gnanam. Agathiyar continued on the changes to be expected, "You shall witness many changes taking place within you. Do not fear. Due to the activation of the chakras, your body shall emit a foul smell. You shall have constipation. You shall urinate often. Take lots of warm water.  The Agathiyar Kuzhambu you took did help in expelling the 3 dosas. But there still is. It shall be expelled in due time. Carry out the said practice." 

இத்தருணம் உமக்கு மூலாதாரம் திறந்தது, ஸ்வாதிஸ்டானம் திறந்தது. இப்பொது மான் மூச்சி குளத்தில் இருக்கிறது. அவை திறக்கும் தருணம் வந்தது. இப்போதுதான் நீ உமது பயிற்சியினை தொடங்க வேண்டும். இந்த நிலையில் அச்சக்கரம் முற்றும் திறந்துவிடும். உடலில் பல மாற்றங்கள் கண்டறிவாய். பயம் கொள்ள வேண்டாம். இச்சக்கரங்களில் புணர்ச்சியால் உன் உடலில் ஏற்படும் மாற்றங்கள் துர் நாற்றம் வீசும், மலச்சிக்கல் ஏற்ப்பட்டு கழிவு ஆகும், சிறுநீர் அதிகம் வெளியேறும். அன்று நீ உண்ட குழம்பினாள் உன் உடலிலிருந்து வாதம், கபம், பித்தம் சற்றே அகன்றது. இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. அவை அகலும். இதுநாள் வரையில் நீ கடந்து வந்தது இவ்வுலக வாழ்க்கையின் பயணம். இனி நீ கடக்க போவது உமது உல் பயணம். ஆதாவது நீ பிறந்ததன் நோக்கம் அறிவாய். உமது மூச்சி உனது சுழுமுனை தொட்டு உமது ஏழு சக்கரங்களில் பயணம் செய்யும் கால் ஏழாவது சக்கரம் தொடும் நிலையில் நீ உனது பிறவிக்கான பலனை அறிவாய். உனது நிலையை நீ தொடும்போது அக்கணம் உன்னை அறியாமல் உன்னை நோக்கி ஒரு  சக்தி உன்னுள் இறங்கும் - அதுவே சுழிமுனை. நீங்கள் உள் பயணிக்கும்போது எல்லாம் தெளிவாகத் தெரியும் சமயம் திரை விலகியத்திற்கு அர்த்தம். அதுதான் ஞானம். 

On 22.8.2020 Ramalinga Adigal tells me to use my breath to fan the Jothi. He adds that, "It shall travel through Sushumna and touch Ajna. Then the Jothi is seen. Carry out Nadi Sudhi to raise the Prana. Now it does not move in both nostrils. When it travels in both nostrils, you shall then rest in perfection or Sudha Paripuranam. Dhyana will be yours then. You are one with the Prana. Pay attention to it. The changes in you are but discharges. It shall leave your body. Do not worry. What you are doing is tavam." 

பிரணவத்தை கொண்டு ஜோதியை சுடர் விடச்செய். சுஷும்னா வழி சென்று ஆக்கினை தொடும். பின்னர் ஜோதி தெரியும். நாடி சுத்தி செய்து பிரணவத்தை உயர்த்தவும். இப்போது இரு நாசியில் செல்ல வில்லை. இரு நாசியில் செல்லும் கால் பிரணவம் இடகலை பிங்கலையில் சீராகச் செல்லும் தருணம் சுத்த பரிபூரணத்தில் நீ ஆழ்ந்து இருப்பாய். தியானம் என்பது உனது பரிபூரணம் ஆகும். உனது பிராணவத்தில் கலந்திருக்கிறாய். பிரணவத்தில் கவனம் செலுத்து. உன்னுள் ஏற்படும் மாற்றங்கள் யாவும் கழிவுகள். அகன்று போகும். கவலை வேண்டாம். நீ செய்தது யாவும் தவம். 

The Kundalini that was raised unknowingly in me in 2007, laid low to enable me to carry on my daily obligations and responsibilities. When the Muladhara chakra gained heat in 2010, there was no way to hold back this energy further. It began to move in the region of my pelvis, lower back and abdomen. I suffered for some 2 - 3 years. After the doctors gave me a clean sheet and Agathiyar told me it was due to the heat from the Muladhara chakra, I never visited the doctors unless he tells me, as I knew it was all Agathiyar's doing in cleansing my body. Along the way, till the present times, I saw numerous changes take place within that I could not comprehend. There were traces of blood in the sputum. The feces were changing from day to day in form, color and consistencies. It came in the shape of spirals, pellets, cones, and strings, and were soft, or hard at other times. The urine and motion were smelly. I asked myself if my body was decaying within as my body smelt like that of a corpse. At times it was clear and at other times discolored. There were what I thought traces of semen in the urine too. My body would be hot one moment and cold another moment. I had the wind travel in my abdomen causing pain in my groins and testes, in various other places too reaching to the head where it brought on headaches. I had piles all of a sudden that went away just as it had come on. I had boils appear on my skin. I understood it to be the result of excessive heat in me due to my practices. And I understood it to be a cleansing process going on within. I then understood what was going on within me. Though they had assured me, I had feared if these signs meant that there was a medical problem in me or it comes with old age, but Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal cleared the air and assured me that it was the work of Kundalini. Upon asking what I should do further Agathiyar replied "Nothing. It shall do its work." 

On 22 August 2022, I felt an "explosion of energy" in my belly as I woke up and stretched in bed. It felt like I had stretched a nerve below my belly button. A sudden swirl of energy was released in my abdomen. A chill came over the region of my chest and heart. My whole body became numb to its very tips and core. I felt nauseous and wanted to throw up. I had the sudden urge to pee and ease myself. For fear that I would pee in bed, I got up to go to the toilet. I fell twice but picked myself up. It soon subsided. Towards night the top of my head was cool. 

The next day, I woke up to go to the loo, but I could not piss. I fainted again. I called my wife asking her to bring the peacock feathers over and brush my body. My body became numb from the shoulders down. I had no feeling at all in my torso as I lay like a log on my bed. I could not move an inch of my body. But I was aware of what was happening to me. I asked myself if this was what a dead body would feel like. Was I experiencing death? Was this another way to experience one's death besides the commonly spoken about out of body experiences? Seeking answers to what had taken place, we placed a request before Agathiyar to clear the air. And he did. He told me the following. There was nothing to worry about. Previously he had told me that energy had stagnated what I understood to be at Svathisthana. Tavayogi too told me that our effort is only till this chakra. They have to come and lead us on from there. It was released now. He gives a warning to all of us. When the chakras are activated late in life it would have some adverse results on our bodies. Since the chakra was activated late in life the blood is affected. The blood count will tip the scale. When the heat of tapas increases in our body, blood flow will be less bringing on numbness. This would result in urinary and excretary problems. He did treat me too by dipping my hands into a bowl of lukewarm water to the accompaniment of my family chanting the Arutperunjothi mantra. He ran his hands along my back and spine and placed his hands on my head and applied the sacred ash over my body. As it worried my wife much, to pacify her Agathiyar asked to seek the allopathy doctor. 

கவலை கொள்ள ஒன்றுமில்லை. தேங்கி இருந்த நீர் வெளி கொண்டது. ஆனபோதும் முதிர்ந்த நிலையில் சக்கரங்கள் திறப்பதனால் உதிர வாட்டம் கொண்டுள்ளது. ஆகையால் எண்கள் மேரு பெறும். ஆங்கில மருத்துவம் கொண்டு அதனைச் சுத்தம் செய்து கோல். முதிர்ச்சியில் சக்கரங்கள் திறக்கும்போது அவ்வுடல் சில பாதிப்பினை ஏற்றுக்கொள்ளும். ஆகையால் மருத்துவம் உனக்குத் தேவை. உனது உடலில் உஷ்ணம் ஏற ஏற உதிரம் குறையும். உதிரம் குறைந்தால் உடல் மறுத்துப் போகும். உடல் மறுத்துப் போனால் சிறுநீர் கோளாறு கழிவில் கோளாறு. மருத்துவம் கொண்டு அதைச் சீர் படுத்திக் கொள்.

Agathiyar even spoke of death in the event it happens. Death is another doorway to another journey says Agathiyar. "Do not be afraid of death. It is but another door to another journey. One who invites death is a Siddha. There is much I need to carry out through you."

மரணபயம் வேண்டாம்.  மரணம் ஒன்றும் அல்ல. மற்றொரு பயணத்தின் கதவு.  எவன் ஒருவன் மரணத்தை அன்போடு வரவேற்கின்றானோ அவன் சித்தன் ஆகின்றான். உன்னில் இருந்து நான் காரியங்கள் செய்வதற்கு இன்னும் நிறைய இருக்கிறது. எனது பெருமை போதும். இனி உன் எழுத்துக்கள் உடல் மாற்றங்கள் உடல் அனுபவம் பற்றியதாக இருக்கட்டும். ஜோதியினை வழிபட்டால் அதில் இணைய வேண்டும் என்றால் உடலில் எவ்வித மாற்றங்கள் ஏற்படும் என்று உன் வாசகர்களுக்குத் தெரிய படுத்து. உனது அனுபவம் எனது அறிவு. அனுபவமே உனக்கு அறிவு. அனுபவத்தைத் தாண்டி ஒன்றுமே இல்லை. நீ அனுபவம் கொண்டுவா, பின்னர் உரைக்கிறேன். மரணம் ஒன்றும் அல்ல. மற்றொரு பயணத்தின் கதவு.

In telling me that "There is much I need to carry out through you," I understood that Agathiyar had assured me that my purpose is not over and done with. He tells me further, "Enough of writing my praise. Write about your internal changes in you and your bodily experiences. Let your writings be about the changes taking place in your body. Let your readers know the changes that take place in the body if they come to worship the light and seek to merge with it. My wisdom shall come as your experience. Experience first and I shall clarify them later. Experience is knowledge to you. Nothing is beyond experience." 

And so, he gave me the experiences first and later came to clarify on it. The swirling sensation that was felt in my abdomen to my surprise was felt in the crown of my head the next day but to a lesser extent and intensity. Though lesser in intensity it was equally blissful just as it felt in my abdomen a day earlier. It stays "stuck" you can say in the crown of my head. Later I thought it was more of a blooming of a flower slowly opening up. The chillness that follows made me ask if it was the much spoken about ambrosia that was dripping from this spot. I had always lamented and voiced out to Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal that I could not fulfill their directive to go within and meditate as it just doesn't happen. There were to many noises and din around in my neighborhood and from my neighbors that I would give up my attempt in sitting still and taming my mind. Now he has this throbbing sensation go on in my crown that automatically draws me to the spot, and I can quieten down at least for some moment. I could also in bringing my attention to it connect and bring on this bliss voluntarily. As Agathiyar always says that he goes easy on my knowing that I cannot withstand pain, I am glad I did not have to go through what Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa had to go through. 

"Ramakrishna struggled mightily", Richard Schiffman writes in ‘SRI RAMAKRISHNA – A PROPHET FOR THE NEW AGE’, Paragon House, 1989, "to follow Totapuri’s instruction on meditation."

"It was no use; the last and most subtle barrier, the golden chain of his devotion, barred the path. The personal God who had lighted his way and guided his steps now stood as a barrier to the realization of the impersonal reality."

Richard Schiffman conveys Ramakrishna’s own electrifying description,

“I tried on several occasions to concentrate my mind on the truth of Advaita Vedanta; but each time the form of the Mother intervened. I said to Totapuri in despair, “It’s no good. I will never be able to lift my spirit to the unconditioned state and find myself face to face with the Atman!” 

"He replied severely, “What do you mean you can’t? You must!”

"Looking about him, he found a shard of glass. He took it and struck the point between my eyes, saying, and “Concentrate your mind on that point.” 

"Then I began to meditate with all my might, and soon the gracious form of the Divine Mother appeared. I used my discrimination as a sword and cut her in two. The last barrier vanished, and my spirit immediately precipitated itself beyond the plane of the conditioned. I lost myself in Samadhi.”

That would be a torture I thought. I am glad Agathiyar's approach is much gentler.