LEARNING LIFE'S LESSONS

In sharing these experiences, we enrich the tapestry of all of life that prevails in its entirety. Prapanjam is enriched. Knowledge is made available. The teachings are carried by the followers like the river and the wind, reaching the banks further down and reaching the vast frontiers that lie ahead, respectively. If in the past many a saint have ventured to other lands bringing the news, these days with technology in our palms many hold online classes instead. This blog too has made waves going by the numbers of readership. I  guess this blog has done some good to others, too, seeing the number of readers over the past week. 

A friend and a reader wrote in saying, "The way you have guided and shaped my thinking has meant more than you probably know. Thank you for the wisdom you have shared, the patience you have shown, and the quiet care behind both." 

I am glad that I have been given a rare opportunity to be a tool in the hands of the divine. Many Upagurus by way of my parents and siblings, relatives and friends, teachers and masters, and all of creation have come my way, where I learned many a thing from them too. But the core of the teaching came from my gurus in physical form, Supramania Swami and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal, and Agathiyar and the Siddhas coming in numerous forms and through numerous mediums. Life indeed is a learning, as I wrote in the last posts. It is whether we are aware of these moments, receptive to them, and learn the lessons behind these experiences, and most importantly learn to move on. 

I am glad that Agathiyar came in the Nadi. I am glad that I met Supramania Swami in India. I am glad that Tavayogi came over to our shores. My gurus Agathiyar, Tavayogi and Supramania Swami came into my life, bringing the dormant energy within each of us to awaken and flow again. Just like the three wires in a circuit, the high-voltage electricity from the power source to the appliance that was carried through the Live wire was carried back to the source through the Neutral wire completing the circuit, while the Earth wire acted as a safety feature that sent stray electrical current safely into the ground respectively. They made sure that I was not roasted, though there were moments when I got burned. 

LIFE IS A LEARNING

As I was on the phone yesterday expressing my condolences to the bereaved husband of a couple who were Agathiyar devotees, where he lost his wife in a road mishap, one of many such tragedies and losses which I had written about in a previous post, there was an incoming call. Ending this conversation shortly after, I called the caller. She and her family and siblings were all devotees of Agathiyar, too. She shared her sister's loss of her 20-year-old son due to an unidentified illness. I comforted her. As I pen this post, another news of the death of an elderly relative reaches my ears. 

I am reminded of Agathiyar's call to me to listen to others and not turn them away. I am reminded of the days I spent in the company of Tavayogi, where he would patiently listen to all those who stepped forward before him to share their grievances and sufferings. If he were given space to speak, he would tell them that their losses and sufferings were due to Vinai or past Karma. If they were interested in knowing the means to sail through these tough moments, Tavayogi would call upon them to worship the Siddhas.

Though I came to the Siddha path after the calling to read the Nadi and after Agathiyar asked me to come to the worship of the Siddhas, I could accept this advice from Tavayogi to others, too. Generally, in seeking the blessings of the Siddhas, one would expect the Siddhas to burn one's past Karma and reset one's life for a better future. But that was not to be so. It was not as simple as pressing the reset button on a computer or any other device. I soon learned that one has to first heed the words of the Siddhas, put in the effort, as in going on pilgrimages and carrying out the remedies, rituals, and puja, etc and doing charity as in Sariyai and Kriyai, and carry out the practices given as in any of the eight limbs of Patanjali's Yoga. 

But although many have been on the path of worship to the Siddhas, and though only a few engage in Yoga, why do they go on suffering? Is there no end to suffering even after taking the hand of the Siddha? Are we then given false hope? Pondering all this, the following dawned on me.

"Say thanks to this life given by the Almighty. Life comes as a teacher to us. All relationships, friendships, and experiences become lessons in Life."

இறை வழங்கிய இவ் வாழ்க்கைக்கு நன்றி. வாழ்க்கைதான் நமக்கு பலதும் கற்றுத்தருகிறது. அனைத்து உறவும், நட்பும், அனுபவமும் பாடமாக இதில் அடங்கும்.

I was made to realise that each soul had previously asked to engage in these events to experience these moments. While our past karma partly determines the birth we take, our past unfulfilled desires, carried forward into this birth, also begin to germinate and grow. Besides these, the Siddhas push us into circumstances that are beyond our control and against our wishes so that we can learn more lessons from these experiences, too. Just as Ramalinga Adigal mentioned that he built the Satya Jnana Sabai for the Devas to come down and learn, we are being schooled too. 

This life is precious, as the saints of the past have decreed. We are to make good use of it. We are to be grateful for this birth and this life that is given to us. As Agathiyar asked us not to research the source and the end, Life is truly unfathomable. We often struggle to make sense of it.

Life is akin to a mill, a train treading the track. Whatever is seen on the journey and digested upon briefly alighting from the carriage at these momentary stops or halts, soon becomes a thing of the past as new discoveries and understanding arise.

Thinking that we had begun to understand it, and take a step back to digest these understandings, another episode or event comes up to turn our previous understanding invalid or less accurate.  

No wonder Agathiyar says that we have been together for crores of years. Agathiyar himself is said to have lived for four Yugas. No wonder Buddha, who saw a thousand heads to his left, and came to know as his past births, turning to his right, saw another thousand. It takes that long to learn life's lessons. 

GURU PURNIMA

We have been conditioned right from the beginning. It begins at home with our grandparents and parents, continues with teachers in school, and later with presiding priests and religious heads in temples and places of worship. Finally, it culminates with gurus and spiritual masters in ashrams and gurukulams, respectively. Many cannot bring themselves to accept whatever differs and is different later on.

Agathiyar came into my life in 2002 as words in the Nadi. Taking up the call to come to the path I saw many argue whether Agathiyar was a dwarf or a six-footer, bringing up stories from the Puranas and other texts to support their respective claims. 

Coming to meet Tavayogi, he introduced me to Agathiyar as a name and initiated me to chant his name as a mantra on our first meeting in 2005 in Malaysia. Agathiyar now had a name and a calling card and number. 

Just before he left for India, Agathiyar had Tavayogi give me another initiation through touch. He was then the touch.

Later, as I left for his ashram, the same year, he revealed that Agathiyar came as light to him the night I was with him at his ashram. He was light.

As I prepared to leave his ashram for home, Tavayogi initiated me with another mantra and a practice, telling me that he was Vaasi, or the very breath in us. He was the breath now.

In 2007, he gave me Asanas and Pranayama techniques that unknown to me brought Agathiyar within tagging on with my breath and opening the Muladhara. I knew him as the Prana and breath.

If Tavayogi had a granite statue installed in the hills of Kallar, at the spot of his sighting in the hills, which he had his devotees bring my family and me over to worship on our visit in 2013, he installed Agathiyar in fibre at his ashram as a 6-footer in 2010.  At the same time, Agathiyar had me commission his statue in bronze in a replica of his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli and worship him in my home. He was given a form.

Bringing us to Nattatreeswarar temple, Tavayogi told me that Agathiyar and Siva were one. 

Then the deity Karupanasamy, in asking us to look out for Agathiyar at the very first temple we step into on our pilgrimage to India in 2016, after returning home, surprised us in addressing us again, confirming the lady whom we met at Sri Rangam and subsequently in all the other holy spots and wherever we went as Agathiyar. He showed us that Agathiyar was a woman.

Agathiyar then took up from there. In 2022, he opened the gates to the Kundalini energy that had been ponding at Svadishtana after, in 2007, he activated the dormant and sleeping creative energy that once saw to my birth and that had gone into hibernation, awakening her through the practice that Tavayogi gave me. He released her to flow in a couple of days, reaching the Sahasrara and bringing on the blooming of the 1000-petaled chakra. Now he was pure energy. 

Telling me that he was the Prapanjam, now he was all of creation. 

The divine expresses itself in multiple ways and a multitude of ways. We should not confine it to only one aspect. The Siddhas are known to break every belief and tradition, and our hold on things, including them. Tavayogi, knowing pretty well that I would hold on to his physical form and offer obeisance and worship his image, stopped me in my tracks the day I showed outright joy and happiness in having him visit my family home back in 2005. I am glad he did that, although it hurt so much then. He showed me instead to Agathiyar and asked me to hold on to him tight. Agathiyar, on his part, had me let go of him too recently, telling me that it was time I knew Sivam.

Those who rigidly keep to form and name, kept at doing the rituals and practices, even those given by the Siddhas, become stuck in the spot or quicksand or sink into it further. One has to learn to let go after taking on the experiences from all the practices given, and lessons learned, remaining unattached to form and names, rituals, and practices. 

When Supramania Swami passed away in 2006, Agathiyar told me to bring him to mind each Thursday during Puja. Thursdays are auspicious to the Gurus too. Agathiyar has asked to reflect on the guru and his words or teachings. That was sufficient, he said. Tavayogi too told me to pray that Swami's soul is placed with the divine. That was sufficient, he said.

As Guru Purnima approaches, falling on the day after tomorrow, on Wednesday, 29 July 2026, I recall that much had taken place on this auspicious day, in previous years, when we honored our gurus. 

If every other event revolves around temple celebrations for deities, gods, and goddesses, this day is specifically dedicated to paying homage to one's guru, if one is already on the path of their guru. Guru Purnima is to commemorate all masters and gurus for their role in guiding souls to realize God. "It is a festival celebrated by Hindus and Buddhist where they pay respect and show their gratitude to their spiritual and academic teachers", as reported at https://www.firstpost.com

"Many Hindus celebrate the day in honor of the great sage Vyasa, who is seen as one of the greatest gurus in ancient Hindu traditions and a symbol of the Guru-shishya tradition. Vyasa was not only believed to have been born on this day, but also to have started writing the Brahma Sutras on Ashadha Sudha Padyami, which ends on this day, which is also known as Vyasa Purnima. Vyasa also wrote the Mahabharatam, Shrimad Bhagwatam, and the 18 Puranas. Veda Vyasa did yeoman service to the cause of Vedic studies by gathering all the Vedic hymns extant during his time, dividing them into four parts, namely Rig, Yajur, Sama, and Atharva, based on their use in the sacrificial rites, and teaching them to his four chief disciples – Paila, Vaisampayana, Jaimini, and Sumantu."

If "According to Hinduism, Guru Purnima celebrates the birth of Veda Vyasa, the famous sage who is said to have edited the Vedas, dividing them into four; he also wrote the Puranas, which are considered the 'fifth Veda' and the Mahabharata", .... 

..."according to Buddhism, on this day, Gautam Buddha delivered his first sermon or teaching to his first five disciples after he migrated from Bodhgaya to Sarnath. Thereafter, the 'Sangha' or the community of His disciples was formed."

(Source: https://www.prokerala.com/festivals/guru-purnima.html)

According to Wikipedia, it is "a Hindu festival dedicated to spiritual and academic teachers ... marked by ritualistic respect to the Guru, Guru Puja."

"In the yogic tradition, the day is celebrated as the occasion when Shiva became the first guru, as he began the transmission of yoga to the Saptarishis. The story goes that over 15,000 years ago, a yogi appeared in the upper regions of the Himalayas. Nobody knew what his origins were. But his presence was extraordinary, and people gathered. However, he exhibited no signs of life, but for the occasional tears of ecstasy that rolled down his face. People began to drift away, but seven men stayed on. When he opened his eyes, they pleaded with him, wanting to experience whatever was happening to him. He dismissed them, but they persevered. Finally, he gave them a simple preparatory step and closed his eyes again. The seven men began to prepare.

Days rolled into weeks, weeks into months, months into years, but the yogi’s attention did not fall upon them again.

After 84 years of sadhana, on the summer solstice that marks the advent of Dakshinayana, the earth’s southern run, the yogi looked at them again. They had become shining receptacles, wonderfully receptive. He could not ignore them anymore.

On the very next full moon day, the yogi turned south and sat as a guru to these seven men. The Adiyogi (the first yogi) thus became the Adi Guru. Adiyogi expounded these mechanics of life for many years. The seven disciples became celebrated as the Saptarishis and took this knowledge across the world.

Guru Purnima is held sacred in the yogic tradition because the Adiyogi opened up the possibility for a human being to evolve consciously. The seven different aspects of yoga that were put in these seven individuals became the foundation for the seven basic forms of yoga, something that has still endured."

Ram Dass explains the coming of the guru and his role at http://www.ramdass.org/the-consciousness-of-saints/

"All beings are involved in an evolutionary journey. In the course of history, and far into pre-recorded history, beings have been getting lost in the illusion and awakening out of it. Some beings have finished their work and have awakened out of illusion, the illusion that is involved in birth after birth, not only on the physical plane, but on every other plane as well. When these free beings finally emerge from the illusion through grace, through the help of other beings who have escaped, they are faced with a choice. That choice is whether to merge back into God, or to resist that merging and remain in form on one plane or another; either to take birth again on the physical plane or to make their substance condense on a lower astral plane to do ‘work’ for the relief of suffering of other beings."

"Many of the beings that are free in this way, and who have remained in form on one plane or another, work across planes and remain primarily on other lokas, in more subtle bodies, and they work not only with beings on those planes, but also with us on the physical plane."

Ram Dass quotes from an excerpt from "The Near and the Dear" by Dada Mukerjee at http://www.ramdass.org/work-saints/

"Saints are one in their work as divine channels. They link us up with the source from which all bliss flows: love. They bake the unbaked pots and make them fit to receive the divine bliss. They illuminate the path by removing all the darkness that holds us back. Their work does not end with the energizing or enlightening of some select few here and there. They also serve as the unflickering flame, helping to light other candles."

Tavayogi too had to take a physical form to carry out his mission here, representing what Agathiyar stood for and preaching the Siddha ways. Now that it is done, he has merged with Agathiyar. We need not start the worship of him in the form he took in this birth. Now that he has merged with Agathiyar, Tavayogi is with us in the subtle form, guiding us on. We do not worship his form. We see him in the bronze statue of Agathiyar at Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). He is light said Dhanvantri to us after his demise. Agathiyar said he was doing their work in their realm.  Supramania Swami told me he had seen the light days before his demise.

All the saints come to dispel the darkness, ignorance, and the veil that prevents us from knowing our true selves. They work to bring us back on track to return to the source, starting us with external worship of the divine and slowly bringing us within. Sadly, we chose to worship the guru in physical form instead of forgetting his message to go beyond form and reach out to the source that is within the Guru and all of us. I am glad that Tavayogi, Ramalinga Adigal and Agathiyar pointed me to the source.

CREATION, NEAR DEATH & DEATH

In the "Author's Notes" of his work of fiction, "The Shack", Windblown Media, 2007, WM Paul Young writes,

Having spent a rough night in the shack, filled with nightmares, Mackenzie emerges onto the porch in the morning, looking disheveled and disorientated. Papa (God) has breakfast waiting for him, and in silence, Mack sits down but doesn't touch his food. Papa, who acknowledges him and continues to talk, finally stops and says, "You know, Mackenzie, part of your problem is that you don't believe that I am good, and until you believe that I am good, you will never trust me."

The now furious Mackenzie, "finally spits out, "Why would I ever trust you? My daughter is dead!"

Indeed, when we lose someone dear to us, we go into a mode of rejection and anger. I had a relative hit by a car, and she died on the spot in my bachelor days. The husband could not take it and condemned God. We too found it incomprehensible when the accident occurred just minutes after she had prayed at a temple and hailed a taxi as she crossed the road. 

Last Monday, a friend and devotee of Agathiyar was killed in a road mishap while returning home with her family after traveling to the north. The car driven by her husband went off the road and landed in a ditch. It was difficult to stomach the news for most of us. 

Many years back, another family of devotees of Agathiyar met with a head on collision. While they sustained serious and irreversible injuries, their aged mother was killed on the spot. It was tormenting to see them go through this tragedy.

A five year old is knocked down by a car that was reversed in the church grounds and died.

A man who escapes death when he meets with an accident at one junction dies in another accident at the next junction moments later.

A kid who loses his eyesight after been bullied at school dies when a drunk driver smashed into their car as his father rushes him to the hospital moments later.

A man who loses control and ditched his truck that carried newly assembled cars into a ravine scrambles from the wreckage onto the highway only to be hit by another vehicle.

A young man devoted to Agathiyar died a fiery death when a gas cylinder exploded at his office. How do we explain all these? How can we possibly console these souls or their next of kin?

On the other hand, a niece of mine came out of an accident with minimal injuries while her car was a total wreck, after going off the road. The deity Karupanasamy later revealed that he, together with Goddess Kali and my niece's paternal great-grandmother, had saved her.

A devotee who had a Nadi reading and was returning home knock into a stationary lorry at a traffic light. Agathiyar, who never gave any indication about the danger that awaited him, addressed the misfortune in a subsequent Nadi reading, telling him that he had held on to him, hence saving him from any injury. Agathiyar said the same when this devotee slipped while hiking the track up to the Pothigai hills several years earlier. 

A devotee who contracted dengue fever went into a coma. He saw Lord Siva drive away the god of death Yama. He survived the ordeal.

A friend had taken the pain to consult the Nadi and carry out the remedies on behalf of a relative, who was bedridden. Unfortunately, the relative gave up the fight after two years of suffering and passed away. When others mocked him and Agathiyar for not saving him, Agathiyar, who surprised them all by coming in another reading,  as there is never a reading for one who has died, asked what he was to do when he had told the deceased to uphold his spirit? 

When a daughter asked Agathiyar to put an end to her mother's misery, Agathiyar instructed the family to initiate a Homam. The Siddhas came and took it from there, conducting it. They placed the request to Lord Siva, but Siva did not give his consent for reasons known only to them. She is still surviving till this day, much to her agony.

Another lady was told to be prepared to leave, but after initiating the ritual of pouring milk on Agathiyar's statue at a temple on a specific day and for a specified time, she still continues to walk and breathe. 

A devotee called me in the wee hours of the morning from the hospital wards, asking me to pray for his mother's survival. I lit a lamp and prayed. She survived the ordeal. After five years, I received a call from him at the same hour and place. She was fighting for her life again. This time around Agathiyar reminded him not to outsource prayers but to take them into his own hands. She died shortly after. When the son was saddened by her demise, and angry with me I suppose the soul of his mother came through one of his siblings and told them that she was in a safe place and with her guru, Shirdi Sai. What else does he want?

When a family went through much suffering and troubles, I candidly told the lady of the house that her story had all the elements and components to make a full-length movie. When I was figuring out how I could help, Agathiyar, coming through a devotee, asked that they light a Homam and place all their troubles into the burning flame. They regained their joy and happiness. 

When a man was held by the authorities after he innocently loaned his car to his friends, who used the car to traffic drugs, his wife rushed to Kallar and performed a Yagam on the advice of Mataji. As the truth was on his side, the man was released as he could not be implicated in the case. 

When an administrative officer was suspended from work while investigations were going on, and since his passport was held, and he could not travel to Kallar, Mataji suggested that he join my family's puja. As the truth was on his side, he was reappointed to his former job shortly after.

When a uniform personal was being investigated Ramalinga Adigal coming through a devotee first asked him if he was innocent. He then pointed him to the deity Karupanasamy who cleared the problem for him. No action was taken on him.

When Tavayogi was admited at a private hospital, and returned to his Kallar Ashram to recover Agathiyar in my Nadi reading told me that the Siddhas had gathered to perform the Yagam so that he could have an extension of life and breathe. Once back, Tavayogi settled outstanding matters and handed over the running of the Ashram to Mataji and taught her to read the Jeeva Nadi, which continues to be the rice bowl for the Ashram to sustain. He passed away after a year. When I was at his Ashram in 2005, for the very first time, he brought out numerous Nadis and read a transcript of his daughter's Nadi reading where Agathiyar comforts the child that upon Tavayogi's demise, Lord Siva and Paravathi would take his soul away in a Pushpaka Vimanam, "a mythical aerial vehicle described in the ancient Hindu epics," to their abode. A devotee had a dream after his demise, where she saw Tavayogi and several others ferried across an ocean of water in a boat by Lord Siva towards a hill crawling with Siddhas and Rishis going about their work. Dhanvanthri, coming through a devotee, told us that Tavayogi had attained the state of Light. Later, Agathiyar, coming to assist and guide us further after his demise, told us that Tavayogi was doing his (Agathiyar's) work in their realm. 

How do we explain all the above? As we read in "The Shack", "The Shack wrestles with the timeless question: Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain?", many like the above have seen pain and suffering too. And equally many have been saved, too. Why then are exceptions made for some but not for others? Why are some lifespans prolonged while others are taken? No one can truly fathom the mysteries that surround creation, near-death, and death. 

STORIES

A friend and reader from the UK wrote me the following this morning.

Thank you very much for your message. I have taken some time to digest it as a number of things have been happening….the one within, is He the one you would call Agasthiyar….dare I say openly that this is my experience and understanding, that Agasthiyar is the one within!?

Just as WM Paul Young writes in his "Author's Notes" of his bestseller "The Shack", Windblown Media, 2007, that was later made into a film of the same name, that he and his friends never anticipated the success of his book and equated it to a "God thing", I too never imagined that this blog would have a wide readership. 

Readership in the past week

What started initially as a memoir of my travels, which are just a few baby steps on the path, would make big strides when Agathiyar gave his blessing to write, first on the external travels and later on the internal travels that culminated in the fulfillment of what he described as the journey in his own words of discovering him, that he had me take note and read out to the devotees and guests at my 60th wedding initiated and conducted by him during Guru Purnima of 2024. In asking us who Agathiyan is, he explains the journey of transformation into him, or rather, to rediscover him in us. He poses the questions to us and answers them as well. The original was in Tamil. A translation is given below.

"Who is Agathiyan?

You are. I am. True. We all are Agathiyan. The Jothi or flame in us is Agathiyan. He resides as the fire, flame, heat, and warmth in us. He is Esan. He is the Esan who resides within.

Why is it that we do not realize nor feel him?

It is because we have not attained the state of preparedness or readiness to realize him. Once our soul attains this state, we shall begin to realize him.

How can we attain this state of preparedness?

First, we have to travel this path. We need to travel to the places and abodes of the Siddhas, witness their miracles, enter the states of bliss, and bring back these feelings and work on them, nurturing them. The Siddha shall come down. When we follow their directives they shall walk with us holding our hands. This travel then shall not be that of an external but of an internal journey. Yoga is the key to this travel within. From Sariyai arriving at Kriyai, now they shall teach Yogam. The journey within shall begin. You shall witness happenings. You shall see many things. It would be puzzling to you. It would be new to you too. Continuing this internal journey, you shall arrive at each Chakra and eventually see the cosmic dance of Thillai in Sahasrara. A 1000-petaled flower will keep on opening up continuously. Arutjothi will come to reside here. Then its effulgence enters within, and just as how the Kundalini upon awakening traverses each Chakra purifying them, this effulgence brings on the shine and luminosity in them. Jothi Darisanam takes place where one sees the light or effulgence. The body takes on the same. Vibrations begin to emit within and around us and are felt by those tuned to receive and feel around us. They shall follow you. You become a Jeeva Mukta, having attained Mukti while living in the flesh. Henceforth you are no different from Agathiyan and Agathiyan is no different from you. You are me and I am you."

Just as Agathiyar mentioned, after going through all the aforementioned phases, stages, and transformations, a simple question on the deity Karupanasamy that came from my daughter, who had seen the recent movie on him, "Karuppu", prompted the divine energies to come within me, last Sunday, giving me a sampling of what Agathiyar describes as "Vibrations begin to emit within and around us".

This blog is all about stories, right from myths and legends to real-life experiences and encounters of all those who came into my life, and what I came to know from others, and that of mine, too.

WM Paul Young writes that "Every human being is a story, and when we share the stories of our lives, we are talking about Holy Ground where the dust of creation with fire that refines, the activity of God in the wonder of our humanity." He continues stating his belief that "God is good all the time and involved in the details of our lives, in ways mysterious both gentle and confrontational"..... "often behind the perceived and playing in the nudge, a hunch and idea that pops into our awareness" and that "all human beings hear God for themselves but it is in each persons unique language often so normal to each of us that we discount it." 

We are trying to break down the doors with logic, science, and understanding, but rituals and prayers reach out to the divine and bring them to open these same doors from the inside without any damage. 

THE DREAM

I have come one full circle or back to the start of the cycle. In the eighties, in my bachelor days, I had questioned why relatives, friends, and devotees went through misfortunes. I was subsequently asked to keep my questions for a later date by Lord Siva, coming in a dream. I only got the answers after I went for my Nadi reading in 2002, where Agathiyar, spoke about my Karma. I understood the reason for things to take place in their lives and mine too.

In recent times, seeing a spate of misgivings and misfortunes that relatives, friends, and devotees of Agathiyar are going through, the question has resurfaced again as I and others question why Agathiyar kept silent, watching, not forewarning nor interfering or preventing. The answers came this time around, after watching the numerous videos uploaded frantically to YouTube by astrologers and Nadi readers since the commencement of the planetary movement or transit of Jupiter recently, and its resulting impact on Saturn who chose to put to test many the past years. 

Following this, I understood why I was the way I was and why others interacted the way they did towards me, too. I could accept myself and others too. I could accept all that took place. It is clear that we are governed by the stars and the planets and affected by their movements after past Karma brings about our birth and existence.

A wonderful mechanism is in place to see through the divine play. Yes indeed it all seems like a play and we are pawns in the hands of the divine. It makes one wonder if this play is part of the dream that we are living as poet Bharathi questioned. If so, even our supposedly search for enlightenment is a part of this dream world too, right? Then it would be akin to chasing a dream or one's shadow or one's tail. We end up coming in circles. Are we caught in the net of Maya that we have woven forever? Are we condemned to and not supposed to come out of this vicious cycle? Where does all this lead us? Who has these answers?

Only the true and original 18 Siddhas  who freed themselves from its hold can win over this game, as we have read and told. But they chose not to interfere, but let the divine play go on. I guess they are bringing us to a state of acceptance and with it bringing us to settle in peace and die in peace.

THE WONDER OF LIFE

I am there, and I could not agree more with Harry Owen. (https://harryowen.co.za/) of what he says of life.

Love, loss, friendship, nature, memory - they all shape us. They leave their marks, their ache, and their beauty. And maybe, in the end, a life well lived is not about holding on tightly, but learning how to love what is here, while we have it, and to gently let it go when the time comes.

Growing older teaches us many things, but sometimes it also asks us to remember what we once knew so naturally - how to play, how to wonder, how to stay open to the world around us. There is a quiet kind of wisdom in innocence, and perhaps we spend much of our lives trying to find our way back to it.

I have arrived where I had started and found him. While I looked elsewhere, he was at home all this time. The last time he came around, Agathiyar told me,

"Be prepared. It is time to leave with me. From this day henceforth, you shall be pure. Live a life not as Shanmugam but as Agathiyan. Realize Sivam. This next phase shall be challenging."

தயாராக இரு. உன்னை நான் அழைத்துச் செல்வேன். இன்று முதல் நீ புனிதன் ஆனாய். சண்முகமாக அல்ல. அகத்தியனாக வாழ். சிவத்தை உணரு. இனி இந்த அடுத்த பயணம் உனக்கு சவாலாக இருக்கும்.

LIFE & ITS PURPOSE

Agathiyar had the phases outlined clearly, not through a text or through sitting through discourses. He made it known only after we had persevered in walking the path. 

To know the purpose in taking birth as a human. 

To know him, first through a form and name or Udal.

To know him as the Breath or Uyir.

To know him as the Prapanjam. 

To know that he and we are one. 

To know the Atma, soul, or self as him.

And to know Sivam as him. 

This was not an evolution or transformation from one phase to another. It was a revelation that came by in shedding the veils that covered the guru within, the self, the soul, the Atma.

If I had thought that we came here to discover our purpose, I have come to realize that the purpose was predetermined by each soul even before taking birth. What we are doing is already living it. 

We learn from Disney's "Encanto" that when Mirabel questions Bruno, who sees visions, about his vision of the Casita collapsing, Bruno explains that the future isn't a fixed destiny, but that the future is uncertain, that there is no one answer, no clear fate, like the future is undecided.

"But the vision was different. It... it would change, and there was no one answer. No clear fate. Like your future was undecided..."

Just as a software patch is routinely released by developers to update, fix, or improve a program, the Siddhas come by bringing on an upgrade, leading to a new destiny, and adding on new features to the fate that we had originally purchased, signed up for, and acquired at birth. Likewise, the Siddha comes along, showing us a guru in physical form, just as Agathiyar did through my Nadi reading. Or it could be seen the other way, too, where the guru shows us the Siddhas, as Tavayogi showed me to Agathiyar. He who lets us explore our true self or being is indeed the true guru. Tavayogi and Agathiyar were such a guru, never feeding us from a silver spoon nor teaching us by holding discourses or online classes. Tavayogi showed us the path and the way, and had us tread on it, walking along with us and bringing us to learn how to navigate the tough terrain that we occasionally encountered. Agathiyar came later to either endorse our learning and experiences, and many a time, helped me out of the sufferings and pain that resulted from the opening of the Muladhara that came through the Yoga practice that he had gifted me through Tavayogi. Both Tavayogi at the very beginning and Agathiyar towards the end would knock some sense into our otherwise delusional perception and understanding of, not the material world, but surprisingly, our understanding of the spiritual field and terrain that is equally clouded by Maya. They come by to reveal that we, as the Atma or JeevAtma, are a part of the larger Atma, ParamAtma, or Param, and that we join hands with the Param in bringing about creation, sustainance and destruction that is seen all around us. We are powerful tools of God, a manifestation of the creative force that is all around us. Once we come to acknowledge their presence and surrender to the divine, they bring us to know our soul or Atma, our individual soul that previously went into hiding after orchestrating our conception to childhood. Henceforth, the soul comes to take the lead, taking over from our ego, which once reigned. 

In asking me to come out of my cocoon and take up my purpose and role of a Spiritual Catalyst or a Catalytic Spiritual Teacher that was revealed through a reading of the "Spiritual Numerology of Moses," or better known as the "Soul Contract Reading" by Roshan, only recently, and which Agathiyar came to endorse later, I guess I have unknowingly lived through this purpose. Both Tavayogi and Agathiyar had prepared me to fit the role over the years.

Just as the Pulligal or Lonchura Punctulata, or commonly known as Pipit, which surprisingly turned up at my home garden the very day Agathiyar told me to feed them in my Nadi reading, decided to suddenly leave mysteriously after a long time, after having served their purpose, I guess, I too am waiting for the day of departure, for I feel my purpose is done here. If I were to remain longer, I fear that I might err and create fresh Karma that shall bring on another birth. Or the gods might give me another birth as a reward for the good that I might continue to do further. 

Life is like a game of Snakes and Ladders. All the possibilities are there, and anything can happen anytime. One moment we rejoice, the next we sulk. We are already living our purpose in coming, not that we have to only discover it here. And so it is all his design and play, or Lila. We are only living our roles. What has to happen has to happen. Even the well-learned, most religious, most spiritual, have succumbed to illness and died. We eventually learn that nature is in control and learn to respect nature and its dictates. 

The reason we are here is to learn to let go rather than latch on to things. Agathiyar had me let go of everything, rituals and charity, the following and the authority and respect that came with it, and every addiction, even to him. Only then could we become one, the Yegan, he reminded me. 

We are here to learn acceptance. Acceptance brings inward peace and harmony. We then become Sivam, the state at the last rung of the ladder, which Agathiyar spoke about attaining.

At 3.26am, a friend from the UK sent me the following, which sums it all up beautifully. 

ME

If the Nadi reveals the reasons for us taking birth, often due to the accumulation of past deeds, both good and bad, where in the former we come to reap the rewards and in the latter to atone for it, and at times to satisfy the wishes of others who were with us in a past birth, and at other times to see through the desires of the soul itself to learn and experience, or for a specific divine purpose as in the upliftment of other souls, astrology reveals one's nature to the core. If I had seen the Nadi some sixty times, recently I began to follow the many revelations on the net that came in the wake of the transit of Jupiter or Guru that was being debated extensively by astrologers. True to what was said, it revealed my nature and made me understand why I was the way I was and why others were the way they were towards me. 

"ஜோதிடம் என்பது நம்முடைய குணங்களை புரிந்து கொள்ள உதவும் ஒரு வழிகாட்டி. அது நம்முடைய எதிர்காலத்தை முழுமையாக முடிவு செய்யும் சக்தி அல்ல. நாம் எடுக்கிற நல்ல முடிவுகள் நாம் செய்யும் நல்ல செயல்கள் நாம் வளர்த்து கொள்ளும் நல்ல குணங்கள் இவைகள தான் நம்முடைய வாழ்க்கையை உயர்த்தும்."

"நீங்கள் தனியாக இருக்கிறீர்கள் என்று நினைக்கிற ஒவ்வொரு நேரத்திலும் ஒரு விஷயத்தை மட்டும் மறந்து விடாதீர்கள். உண்மையான பக்தியுடன் இறைவனை நினைக்கும் மனிதன் ஒருபோதும் தனியாக இருப்பதில்லை. சிவபெருமானின் அருள் இருந்தால் இருளாக தோன்றும் பாதையிலும் ஒளி கிடைக்கும். நம்பிக்கை இருந்தால் சோதனைகளும் சாதனைகளாக மாறும். பொறுமை இருந்தால் காலமே உங்களுக்கு சாதகமாக வேலை செய்யும்."

LIFE'S MANY MOMENTS

When my parents lost two of my older siblings to diarrhea back then, when they were toddlers, and when I succumbed to it too, they rushed me not to the hospital this time, but to our Chinese neighbor, who went into a trance and saved me, asking only that I be given in adoption to the gods. I now had a Godfather and a Guardian Angel assigned to me. This was in the early sixties. 

Later, as a bachelor, when those around me suffered sometimes in the hands of the very gods and goddesses whom they worshipped, I was confused and angry, for I was told that God was loving, kind, and compassionate, but it did not seem that way. I needed answers. Lord Siva, coming through a dream, asks that I keep my questions for another day, bringing me instant relief from my grief in seeing others suffer.  I took a long break of approximately 14 years, equivalent to Sri Rama's Vanavasam, or his exodus into the forests after being exiled from his palace. The eighties then saw me drop my home worship and temple visits and focus on my new career and start a new family.

The 1990s saw me develop an interest in reading about the Hindu religion, its culture, traditions, and practices in society. I also took a keen interest in learning about palmistry, astrology, and numerology, as well as the practice of Yoga asanas, from books on these subjects. The ground was prepared for me to begin to walk the path of the Siddhas that was to come soon with the turn of the century.

In coming to read the Nadi, Agathiyar came into my life, or so I thought, but he revealed later that apparently we have known each other for crores of years. He took charge of my life, changing my fate and rewriting my destiny, as I listened to his directives that came by way of further Nadi readings, as many as sixty. 

Bringing me to Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal in 2005 and traveling the journey with him, Agathiyar showed me the abodes of the Siddhas. In taking up the Yoga Asanas and Pranayama that Agathiyar had Tavayogi show us, gifting me what he calls a treasure, in 2007, I saw the surge of Prana come within, and eventually open the Muladhara. As Tavayogi foretold that our efforts would only bring us to Svadishtana, the Kundalini energy that arose stagnated and pooled at Svadishtana beginning in 2010. As it needed the guru to break the bund and release the pent-up energy to travel further, Agathiyar in 2022 came to my aid. The flowering took place. 

Agathiyar sheltered me from the storm throughout my life, saving me from drowning in the floodwaters. How do I repay him?

Thinking Seva or service to him in all future births would be the right thing to ask, but he questions if that was what I wanted, bringing me to rethink my wish. Thinking that Gnana was the appropriate thing to ask, he tells me that it was not gifted, but I had to earn it, walking the chakras to reach the Sahasrara, where one would then come to know what Gnana was, thus dispelling the common belief that Gnana shall dawn automatically once one reaches this chakra. One now has to travel the return journey, tapping into the Prapanjam and consciousness. He has to fulfill his purpose in coming here. 

In having me read my "Soul Contract Reading," also known as the Spiritual Numerology of Moses, "that decodes the Spiritual Map of One's Life", so you can align with it and manifest your soul purpose, he pointed out to me my purpose in coming here as that of a Spiritual Catalyst, a catalytic spiritual teacher. 

Teal Swan writes at https://tealswan.com/resource, giving a detailed description of this term.

"A spiritual Catalyst is a person who precipitates an event or a change on the level of spirit (the essential, incorporeal part of someone or something). Spiritual Catalysts, like gurus, have attained a high level of spiritual authority, awareness, and knowledge, which enables them to guide others. Spiritual Catalysts, however, do not aim to become “Leaders” to their disciples as much as they wish to cause their disciples to question and find answers within themselves. It is the firm belief of a Spiritual Catalyst that if a person is caused to initiate their own exploration on the level of spirit, that person will then become the conscious leader of their own life. It is also the belief of a Spiritual Catalyst that if a person becomes the conscious creator and leader of their own life, that their life will inevitably become a kind of living enlightenment; thereby allowing that person to live in a continuous state of internal peace and joy."

Shall I do justice to this purpose? Only time can tell.