WHEN THE GURUS ARRIVE UNNOTICED

Would you belief that Yogi Ramsuratkumar officiated my 5.1 home theatre system during the recent Sivarathri besides coming over to bless all those gathered to celebrate Lord Siva's day or rather night. Or at least that is what I told myself. I was having family and friends over and showing them my new investment in a home theatre system as the earlier amplifier and system I purchased in 2011 called it a day. I am a music and film buff since my younger days. And so I invited Gowri Arumugam too to come over to listen to our in-house production "Agathiyar Geetham" on this new piece of equipment. As Agathiyar phased out the abhisegam into three phases beginning at 6pm, 9pm, 12am, and the finale at 3am I chose to play some of my favorites then beginning with Sadhu Om's songs. The Yogi had come without us realizing it. We thought a devotee had been immersed in the song. But he pulled me towards him and hugged me. Next, he hugged my wife. That is when he told her that the beggar had come. He asked that we play the song again. He left after he hugged all those present. 

I emailed Sriram Parthasarathy informing him of the Yogi asking to hear his rendition of Sadhu Om's songs again. 

"Vanakam. I am pleased to share that Yogi Ramsuratkumar was so pleased hearing your composition of Sadhu Om's "Unadhu Thiruvarule" that he asks us to play the song again. He came through a devotee during our recent Sivarathri puja."

As I was about to publish this post I saw that he had replied. 

"Namasthe. Thank you for sharing. Happy to know about this. Grace is everywhere. Hari om. SPS."

The Yogi had come to my humble home earlier too. A fellow devotee finding it difficult to establish whether it was her colleague who was speaking or the divine through him, thought she could outsmart the divine. Thinking that the deities of the Hindu pantheon would only speak Tamil, she asked him in English, "Are you okay bro?" to which her friend replied, "Okay!" She had verified that it was indeed her friend. She said that she would use this approach henceforth to establish whether it was him or the divine speaking through him. Some moments later after dressing up Agathiyar's bronze statue, as we all sat to conclude our prayers, the Yogi came and spoke in English through another devotee! She was dumbfounded! The divine saw through her game and played a game on her instead, to our amusement!

SITTING AT THE FEET OF THE GURU 2

Are we living a dream? Bharathi certainly thinks so in a song that he wrote. So what about the dream we have when we go to sleep? A dream within a dream? Then again we carry so many dreams with us while staying awake waiting for the hour to honour it. Then we came with so many dreams too that gave a purpose and reason to take birth. So are we made of dreams. Is this what life is all about. In the movie "Inception" which suggests this aspect of a dream within a dream an attempt is made in placing an idea into one's subconscious. When the lead actor says that there is no use in threatening another in a dream, he is told that killing him would just wake him up, but pain...is in the mind and she shoots the hostage's feet. And so we are having a terrifying nightmare right? and someone comes and shakes us and we come out of our dream into this life that is another dream. Whatever anguish and pain felt in the dream is not felt while awake. But when my pain in the lower back was so intense at one point it woke me up from my sleep.

Can we possibly comprehend this life that we are living and the role that we are living? Am I in someone's dream then? Similarly, is everyone else in my dream too? 

Ruzbeh Ruzbeh Bharucha shares a common belief that was held by his grandma,

"When I was young my maternal grandmother would often tell me, ‘You had a dream where you cried a lot, that’s good beta, instead of crying in this so-called real world, Baba took care of an unpleasant experience and pain in the dream world’." Going by what Ruzbeh wrote can we then consider a dream as an extension of our lives where we partially work out our karma too?

Going on pilgrimages that take their toll on us is said to remove our karma. Sitting before a Yagna and placing offerings into the fire pit is said to remove our past karma too. Ruzbeh Bharucha in writing on his blog says that "It is only the Ether Element that takes one closer to The One" and mentions further that,

"Baba Sai says in channeling that through the power of silence, calmness, chanting and meditation, a Divine Fire (not to be confused with the Fire Element) burns away the karma that is encased in the causal body. Once the karma is burnt away and remember karma is karma, both good and bad karma are burnt away, making your slate in the pristine state in which it came when the spark left The Great Flame." 

Knowing that though the guru was in charge we should equally take the necessary measures for example locking up the home before we retire for the day or off the lights and water after usage, right? We cannot expect the guru to do that right? But what if the efforts just did not get noticed by these quarters. Recently I was venting my frustration to Mahin over how my efforts to curb certain things in society were not responded to by the parties concerned. It was as if their hands were tied.  Though initially, I told myself that it did not get the consent and blessing of the guru, I needed answers to these questions. I asked Agathiyar for some form of clarity. He immediately sang Tirumular's song to me and clarified that the answers are with the guru. It was so obvious and I had missed it.

தெளிவு குருவின் திருமேனி காண்டல்
தெளிவு குருவின் திருநாமம் செப்பல்
தெளிவு குருவின் திருவார்த்தை கேட்டல்
தெளிவு குருவின் திருஉரு சிந்தித்தல்தானே

How apt and true and he made me realize that all the answers were with the guru. He knows and is not acting or interfering for a reason. But yet we want him to change the state of things. How stupid could I be? That is ignorance on my part.

Swami Muktananda in his "Kundalini - The Secret of Life", Siddha Yoga Publication, 1994, writes,

“If he tries to discover a path by himself, he will simply go around in circles, walking for a long time but never reaching his goal. The Guru has found everything you are seeking; that which you want has become the Guru’s wealth. The difference between you and the Guru is that you are the seed and the Guru is the full-grown tree; you are the beginning, and he is the end.” 

Swami Muktananda proclaims that the Masters themselves were the secret! Paul Zweig in the introduction to Swami Muktananda’s "The Perfect Relationship", Syda Foundation, 1985, writes, 

“He (Swami Muktananda) felt that God's ‘secret’ was not contained in any Sanskrit formula, ancient ritual, or technique of meditation; that severe austerities and physical deprivation would not reveal it. He felt that the ‘secret’ resided with great beings, with saints; they were themselves the ‘secret’ and he could learn what they were by loving them and sitting at their feet.”

Swami Muktananda stresses, 

“Without the Guru’s company, it is difficult to contemplate the self. Without the Guru’s teaching, there is no discipline in one’s life. Without the Guru’s blessing, there is no love. Without the Guru’s knowledge, there is no end to desire, the intellect does not receive the light of wisdom, and the delusion and pain created by duality are not eradicated, nor are doubts dispelled. The Guru is as necessary as Prana, the life force, is necessary to the body.” 

Swami Muktananda’s Guru, Bhagawan Nithyananda too spoke of the importance of a Guru. He told Muktananda, 

“Meditation on the Guru gives you life. All knowledge is in meditation on the Guru.” 

These words were like a Mantra to Muktananda. This is what Agathiyar pointed out to me in the above song too. This is further strengthened by Sadhu Om in paying tribute to his guru Bhagawan Ramana and his teachings in this song by Sriram Parthasarathy.

START EARLY

When Tavayogi took the stage to address the devotees at the many venues he spoke his message and in fact, the script itself was always the same and it bored me after a while. I knew because I had access to all his speeches as I was administering the websites and YouTube videos back then as a means of showing gratitude to him for taking me under his wings. I asked him why he wasn't moving to other subjects and kept repeating the same things. He replied "Are you doing what I said" implying that his audience never carried out his teachings. "It is only if you comply that I can move on to others" he added. Similarly going by the many sessions with the Siddhas at AVM, one thing is certain. If we do not start a given practice, the Siddhas are not going to move on to introduce another. They stand before him with their heads lowered when he questions if they are carrying out his directives. He sends them to learn and do it, again. There is no progress unless one begins the journey using the tools given. Only after that can the Siddhas then add fuel to his spiritual travels. The Siddhas can teach the techniques but it is we who have to delegate some of our time to it. We need discipline in seeing through the practice. We have to be consistent in our practice. We shall then see its results. They then come to reveal another practice taking us to another level. Do not venture onto the path if you are not committed to doing the askings of the Siddhas. 

As the saying goes "No venture no gain", we need to work in this area as we do in other areas of our lives too.  But man gives priority to see to his daily needs rather than his spiritual thirst and yearnings that, most of the time is none existent, or buried. When life fails him only then he looks towards the skies for a rainbow or a silver lining in the cloud. Blessed are those who start the journey early and keep up with the pace for both Tavayogi and Agathiyar say that any spiritual accomplishment has to be completed by 60. Beyond that, the body cannot contain the prevailing energies or the rush of the floodwaters.

KUNDALINI

Spending time though short periods with my gurus I have seen my fair share of seekers come by after having strangers, gurus who mushroom overnight and with whom they are not fully acquainted, and visiting gurus, activate certain energies in them, and leave. They do not monitor the student's progress thenceforth. Worst still they do not even know their students by their name. The poor soul too doesn't reach out to these gurus for further guidance and assistance for various reasons. He is left in the lurch. Finally, they turn up or look up to the Siddhas for relief. At times it is too late.

Though Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal too was a stranger to me on our first meeting at a local affiliate of his Agathiyar Gnana Peedham, he only initiated me and others into chanting the mantra of Agathiyar later that evening. For a start, this mantra gets us connected with the guru and is pretty harmless. Later visiting my home he nipped the joy in the bud as I began to shower him with words of thanks and appreciation. He shifted the spotlight to Agathiyar instead of himself. Later at his ashram, he passed on yet another mantra. During a subsequent visit to Malaysia, he showed me and several others Pranayama and Yoga techniques that I follow to this day with brief pauses in between when Agathiyar comes to ask me to give myself a break for the body and the energy to recuperate. He never initiated us into arousing the Kundalini directly in whatever manner. But Agathiyar revealed later that the techniques we picked up from him did just that over time and with practice. In a Nadi reading on 13.10.2007, the Siddhas mentioned that they were delighted to see the kundalini sakti arise. உண்டாகும் குண்டலினி சக்தி உனக்கு உயர்வதைக் கண்டு நாங்கள் வியந்தோம் அப்பா. With the Muladhara activated in 2007, Agathiyar monitored my progress more closely. When the energies stagnated at the next chakra the Svadisthana in 2022, Agathiyar broke its banks and the energies continued their journey further, by their sheer momentum and flow, without any effort on my part. But he warns me that I have to maintain it at the crown of the head and never do anything that jeopardizes this state, otherwise, it shall fall back to the Muladhara. He says it then shall be a wasted effort on the part of the Siddhas to assist these energies to move to higher chakras. If that happens Agathiyar says that he shall have to reprimand me. This was a stern warning from him. Since the day Tavayogi stepped aside and showed me to Agathiyar, he has stood on center stage. Even Lord Muruga in coming to us some time back backed off telling me that he shall leave it to Agathiyar to look into my needs. We are grateful to Tavayogi for showing us Agathiyar and not projecting himself.

Want some personal advice? Please do not get initiated into Kundalini yoga by any Tom, Dick, and Harry or during mass activation. Find a guru and follow him for 12 years. Establish a bond with the guru during these years. Do not chase the "experience seeking" that Swami Dayananda Saraswati spoke about to his student Swami Tadatmananda. Swami Tadatmananda says of his experiment with Kundalini that "If he were still alive I might not have undertaken this project", speaking about his guru's negative comments on Kundalini Yoga. His guru had warned him about the danger of "experience seeking" that promises bliss and ecstasy. Besides that, Swami Tadatmananda says that he is completely turned off by the way Kundalini has been distorted and misrepresented. 

Similarly, a true and genuine guru shall watch and follow us for 12 years too. He never activates these energies for he would not want to jeopardize our lives for want of fame and followings for himself. A true guru would know there are no shortcuts to bringing in these energies. One has to prepare his body and make it fit first to become a vessel fit to contain these energies. He must know his subject inside out before filling him in. Generally, they refrain and have us stay away for our own good.

Ram Dass wrote that "When I asked my guru to raise my kundalini, he said, "feed people." This is the safest bet. Like him, Tavayogi never had us venture into that territory. We truly need to bring the blessing and grace of gurus and Siddhas who have trodden the path first. They shall then be at our side in the event things turn horrible. They have the cure and the means to save us. 

SITTING AT THE FEET OF THE GURU 1

Just as the young Balakumaran was made to sit beside him as Yogi Ramsuratkumar met his devotees back then I too spent some precious moments during my two visits to my guru Supramania Swami, a disciple of the Yogi when the public came up to his kudil and sought an astrological reading, or a talisman or a word of advice. Similarly, I spent most of my time sitting beside Tavayogi during his visits to Malaysia either officiating Peedhams or events or taking the stage to preach the path. Today Agathiyar and the other Siddhas and the Gods and Goddesses have me sit with them as they see their devotees walk up to them either for their blessings or to seek solutions. Though I would leave the moment the devotees open up about their personal lives and matters, he would have me sit. The reason he told me was that he wanted me to know. Another reason was he would instruct me to fetch things that he required to solve their problems. That is how I get first-hand information from these saintly souls as they listen and bring out solutions that many times apply to the general public too. In these instances, I share them on this blog. Sometimes they turn to me and say a thing or two that enlightens me on those matters. 

As we waited for the last and final puja during the recent Sivarathri, I played a collection of songs that I had compiled which I deemed fit for the occasion that could help us ponder about the truth of life and our purpose here and also lead us into meditation. We were not aware of Yogi Ramsuratkumar's arrival and presence in a devotee until he placed his hand over my shoulder and hugged and spoke to me. When my wife stepped up next, he revealed himself as the beggar. Even to me later he was saying he was nothing when I shared that I had read much about his spiritual search and the troubles he faced. When many take the stage and vomit what they have read, receiving applause, this is where the Yogi stands out for his humbleness as Tavayogi and Supramania Swami too had exhibited in many moments I was with them. Those who know choose to remain quiet and stay away from the public eye. But it is the public that gathers around them and turns their lives around. Yet these gurus stay afloat and shine. Apparently, the Yogi had come the moment I started playing Sadhu Om's songs set to music and rendered by Sriram Parthasarathy. The Yogi told my wife "Can you play the song again" mentioning Sadhu Om's "Unadhu Thiruvarule". It is understandable that the Yogi sat and listened to these songs because Sadhu Om was a disciple of Bhagawan too. The Yogi himself took three prominent saints as his guru during his days of search making seven rounds across India. He was with Bhagavan Ramana, Aurobindo, and Ramdas of Kerala. 

After everyone saw him I walked up to him and sat beside him again. That is when he tells me that Supramania Swami was with him too. When I mentioned that I had heard a third voice accompany us as Supramania Swami lead me on the chant of the Yogi's name when I was with him in 2005 and that Swami had revealed that it was the Yogi who accompanied us, Yogi Ramsuratkumar smiled and told me that "When the disciple prays the guru comes". 

Similarly, Agathiyar and Dhanvanthri mentioned that Tavayogi was present during their moments of visits. Agathiyar says that Ramalinga Adigal follows him everywhere he goes. Krishnaveni Amma of Kalyana Theertam had mentioned to Gnana Jothiamma that Shirdi Sai Baba was always with Agathiyar during his visits to her humble cottage. Agathiyar had summoned Bhogar and Tirumular to our humble home in the past. 

How are all these visitations possible one may ask? The magic ingredient is to open up our hearts and homes to them. It has been way too long since we shut the door and kept the Gods and Siddhas waiting outside confined within the walls of the temples and visiting them during certain hours. Hence I guess the reason Lord Muruga, Agathiyar, and Tavayogi want me to continue their legacy in turning the homes of simple people into abodes of the divine too. Would they dare make the move and sacrifice their private space in their hearts and homes and time to let in the Gods and Siddhas and devotees and strangers as we at Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) did? 

LESSONS LEARNED

What a starry night it was yesterday. When stars take the center stage elsewhere here the Gods, Siddhas, and gurus took the stage in our humble home that Agathiyar regards as his Vanam. Lord Siva performed his Rudra dance for us at 12 midnight. Besides being a witness he had us encircle him and he reached out to each of us gathered around him and holding our hands he invited us along to dance. As Vicki Baum, an Austrian writer, and musician says "There are shortcuts to happiness and dancing is one of them" Lord Siva danced his way into our hearts bringing joy and tears in us in the light of the flickering oil lamp. 

Prior to that during the first puja that started on the dot at exactly 6pm, Dhanvantri asked to know who shall be able to stay until 12 midnight and who has to leave early. He said an unseen show shall take place as the clock strikes 12. He said it is the day when Agathiyar and Lord Shiva shall perform the Rudra dance. Those who stay till then shall witness this show. During the moment of dance, the Prapanjam shall split and all the goodness and richness of the energies shall shower on us. As at that moment the breath too shall be irregular we were to rectify it beforehand. 

காணாத திருகாட்சி இன்று நல் இரவில். இந்நாள் என் அப்பன் அகத்தியனும் சிவனும் ருத்ர தாண்டவம் ஆடும் நாள். நல் இரவில் இருப்போர் அதைக் காண்பிர்கள். சிவ தாண்டவத்தின்போது பிரபஞ்சமே பிளவு பெற்று எண்ணில் அடங்காச் சக்திகளை வாரிக் கொட்டும். அந்நேரம் உங்களின் வாசியும் தாண்டவம் ஆடும். 

He called in those who had to leave early and spoke to them. He healed several devotees. Bodily ailments are countered by dispensing Siddha medicine and if the need arises through Allopathy. He saw through the other bodies and directed some devotees to have their chakras and aura cleansed. He had some learn the Pranayama techniques Tavayogi taught me and that was taught to Mahin later. I understood that the Siddhas paid much attention to the control of the breath that ensured the well being of us. Later Agathiyar came and prepared those who could stay to receive the wealth of energies or shaktis. He had us carry out Naadi Sudhi and Vaasi payarchi or cleansing of the breath and alternate breathing to ensure the breath was flowing in both nostrils at the appointed time of delivery of the Shaktis. He had us meditate and do Kumbhaka or retention of the breath, for the first time for others. All these and many more have to happen before they even speak about Kundalini. 

As Agathiyar had foretold when Lord Siva came we begged him to open the door as did Ramalinga Adigal in his song "Siva Yoga Nilai". He performed his dance bringing us to dance with him. This reminds me of the moment Ramalinga Adigal came before us for the very first time through a devotee. We saw that gravity had no hold on him. We had to grip him tight less he goes with the wind. He shared the state of his bliss with us by having us sing the Arutperunjothi mantra. Just as Adigal in the 56th stanza of his "Arutprakasa Malai" sang that Lord Siva came to his humble dwelling in the middle of the night and knocked on his door passing him something in his hands that we learned later was the Gnana kani or Fruit of Divine Wisdom, we too each received the same after Lord Siva ended his dance on Sivarathri.

56. அருள்விளங்கும் உள்ளகத்தே அதுஅதுவாய் விளங்கும்

அணிமலர்ச்சே வடிவருத்தம் அடையநடந் தருளிப்

பொருள்விளங்கா நடுஇரவில் நானுறையும் இடத்தே

போந்துதெருக் காப்பவிழ்க்கப் புரிந்தெனைஅங் கழைத்துத்

தெருள்விளங்கும் ஒருபொருள்என் செங்கைதனில் அளித்தாய்

சிவபெருமான் பெருங்கருணைத் திறத்தினைஎன் என்பேன்

மருள்விளங்கி உணர்ச்சியுறத் திருமணிமன் றிடத்தே

மன்னுயிர்க் கின்பருள வயங்குநடத் தரசே.

Another surprise was waiting for us too. While awaiting the time for the final abhisegam or libation as Agathiyar had instructed to be done at 3am, I played Sadhu Om's song "Unadhu Thiruvarule" set to music and rendered by Sriram Parthasarathy. Yogi Ramsuratkumar came and asked that that song be played again. He hugged each of us and spoke to us in English. I related my experience of hearing him sing along with my guru Supramania Swami and me at Swami's kudil in 2005. He told me "When the disciple prays the guru shall come" referring to that moment when he came out of his samadhi and joined Swami in prayer. I was blessed to be present. Indeed he told me that I was blessed as Supramani Swami was with him yesterday. 

Today after 4 years of apprenticeship under Supramania Swami and 13 years under Tavayogi in the physical form and to this day in their subtle form, Agathiyar wants me to travel the path of the guru. He says it is my guru's wish that many more Agathiyar Vanam mushrooms in the homes of Malaysian devotees. Though I doubt my own ability to carry out this humongous task I believe that they believe in me and that I can do it. I depend on their grace to see through it.

WELCOMING SIVARATHRI

I had started writing a draft and left it aside as Mahin knocked on my door last evening. Later that night Agathiyar came and asked me to tone down and mellow the writing so that it doesn't invoke fear in seekers new to the path. He did read the draft, my god! And asked me to make changes as the chief editor does in any press office. I used to ask Agathiyar why the Siddhas who are most compassionate can at times be stern with some. If a father in wanting to discipline his kids acts harshly I guess the Siddhas too sometimes take the cane as the discipline master does. Though we do not understand then, we tend to appreciate what they did many years on when we are successful in life. And so Agathiyar told me to let go of my anger as it would jeopardize the effort he has put into us all this while. He asked if he needed to take another class reminding me of the hour-long lecture on anger management that he had me sit and listen to through the Nadi in the past. Back then he said anger would tarnish our tapas. Now he warns us that we shall fall back to the previous lower chakras if we do not address our anger.

நான் மீண்டும் உமக்குச் சினத்தை அழிக்கப் பயற்சி எடுக்க வேண்டுமா. சினம் கொண்டால் அதுமீண்டும் மூலாதாரத்தைத் தொட்டு விடும். சினத்தால் மூலாதாரத்தைத் தொட்டு விட்டால் எங்களது செயல் எல்லாம் வீணாற்று போய்விடும். 

I am going through a phase where I want answers and the truth. The Siddhas can at times avoid the truth, not that they lie, but knowing that the truth hurts they hide it. But living in a confused state can be even more painful. Clarity brings joy. Knowing the answers and why something is happening might put us at rest. So Agathiyar came yesterday to explain what was happening within and around me. Agathiyar asks that I do not dwell on external noise but work toward hearing the music within. That is my guru's wish too he said. He says to follow the breath and immerse in it. Then all external noise subsides.

புற சப்தத்தை பொருட்படுத்தாது உன் அகசப்தத்தை வெளி கொண்டுவா. அதுவே உன் குருவின் விருப்பம். உன் சுவாசத்தை கவனித்து வா. அதில் ஆழ்ந்து போகும் போது புறசப்த்தம் தொல்லை அளிக்காது. 

He said that if the current disturbances diverted my attention the Maunam or silence established thus far cannot be retained for long. This itself is a test. When I replied that it was a severe test, he said that I haven't seen what Jnana Jothiamma and Tavayogi went through. In comparison mine was mild he says. 

இன்னல்களில் மனம் போனால் உன் மௌனம் நிலைக்காது. அதுவே பயற்சி. ஜோதிக்கு இட்ட கடும் பயற்சி விட எம்பயற்சி இலகுவானது. தவயோகிக்கு இட்டதை விட இது இலகுவானது. 

Agathiyar defines the three states that Ramalinga Adigal expounded on. To be awake, to have a hunger, and to be alone. To be awake does not mean not having slept. It means not losing sight of our spiritual goals. To be hungry means to hunger for Gnana. To be alone means to maintain silence. Agathiyar asks that I pursue all three. The rest shall not bother you. It needs tremendous effort.

விழித்திரு. விழித்திருப்பது உறக்கமின்றி விழித்திருப்பதல்ல. நீ எதை நோக்கிப் பயணிக்க விரும்புகிறாயோ அதனை நோக்கி இரு. 

பசித்திரு. ஞான பசியாய் இருந்து விடு. 

தனித்திரு. மௌனத்தில் லயித்திரு. அதனை நோக்கி நீ கவனம் செலுத்துவீர். அதைத் தாண்டி மற்றவை உனக்குத் தொந்தரவு அளிக்காது. பயிற்சியினை மேற்கொண்டு தான் தீர வேண்டும். கடுமையான பயற்சி மேற்கொண்டாலே அது சாத்தியம். 

Agathiyar describes what is currently taking place within. Hearing is amplified. Sense of smell is accentuated. Things taste better. Bliss expands. Hunger pangs increase. Lust too increases. Excessive toxin is expelled. On attaining these the flowering takes place in the crown of the head. He said he has blessed us with all the above. 

நுகருத்தல் அதிகமாகி. ருசி அதிகமாகி. இன்பம் அதிகமாகி. பசி அதிகமாகி. காமம் அதிகமாகி. கழிவு அதிகமாகி. இது சித்திதால் சிரசில் மலர் விரியும். நோய்வற்ற உடல். கழிவற்ற சிந்தனை. ருசிமிக்க சமையல். நுகர்வது ....தந்தோம் யாம் உனக்கு. கேட்கும் திறன் அதிகரிக்கும். 

Agathiyar asks that I carry out Lord Murugan's directive to help establish each home as Agathiyar Vanam. He said the seeds has been planted back then. I need to water them. This was my guru's wish too he continued.

என் அப்பன் முருகன் இட்ட கட்டளை அதைச் செய்து வா. அன்று இட்ட விதை. நீ நீர் உற்று. இது உன் குருவின் ஆசை. எனக்கு உன்மூலம் செய்ய வேண்டியது இருக்கிறது.

As Sivarathri was just days away Mahin and I was contemplating whether we need to do rituals as we have been doing all these years. Even during the recent annual celebration for Agathiyar during Thaipusam, we opted not to carry out any abiding by his dictate to have us all move into the Gnana path. Both Agathiyar and Lord Murugan who came that day never switched what we had planned instead they enjoyed the bhajan and blessed us. But yesterday Agathiyar asked us to carry out a libation for him beginning with water at 6pm, sandalwood paste at 9pm, turmeric paste at 12 midnight, and milk followed by vibhuti at 3am. He was to be left adorning only the sacred ash. He named who I should invite too. He will come then he said. He said Sivarathri is a good day for the guru to give and the student to receive. It amazes me to see how the Siddhas guide us besides giving the Yogic practices and reconstructing the diet and health, now have come down to giving the details of conducting the rituals and puja, listing what needs to be done and when. This reminds me of the numerous Nadi readings by Siddhas revealed at Ongkaara Kudil where even the covers and contents of their invitations and publications are told by these Siddhas. We are indeed gifted to have Agathiyars as a guru. 

TAKING THE LEAP

If we have read in the Puranas of how Asuras who were staunch devotees, once they gained a boon from the Gods upon completion of their austerities turned nasty and wanted more or to even bring the gods to their knees, the Siddhas were men who had found a way, and path to defeat nature at its game and take control of it, but not to bring on terror as in the former. This knowledge was shared and made known to other Siddhas whenever they came together to exchange notes in the hoary past. It was documented and hidden and only made known to some. These writings were experiences of these Siddhas in reaching their state. They were written upon the realization of the truth that dawned on them. Thence their writings were deemed going against the norm and usual. They were deemed to be radicals in society as society was not ready for the changes that they spoke of. The most recent Siddhas Ramalinga Adigal and Bharathi too faced much resistance from certain quarters who were against his teachings. The Nayanmars saw their fair share of hardship. 

When the Siddhas come forward to help mankind out of the rut and pit, through several means including their Nadi readings whatever is shared by them pertains to the general man who is trying to improve his well-being both healthwise and material-wise. They hardly share the secrets that they had explored in their lives until and unless we make ourselves a fitting vessel to receive these teachings. Most of us too settle at wanting to know the former only and never ask to know the latter.

Their secrets when revealed shall break our hold on all that we thought was lasting and permanent, and shred our ties with sensory pleasures and worldly grasping. Now I understand what Sivavakiyar meant when he question if the stone would speak and confidently sang that there is no past birth and rebirth among many other prickly issues he raised. In their state of oneness with the source they energize the stone in the former and everything is brought to a standstill in the latter. We do not know our strength until we conquer places be it physically the planes or our standing in life. Similarly, I was surprised when Agathiyar came as a bronze statue to my home asked that we give the piece of metal life by chanting his name. Similarly, when we draw the shots and bring a balance to all things past, present, and future, what remains of time and space? Just as it is only when our legs have gained sufficient strength and we have the confidence to walk again that we drop the crutches and not a moment earlier, we shall drop all the good tools that have served us well in bringing us to the state of the final realization. We saw this in Ramalinga Adigal's journey where the transition from the many deities to the final Jothi was pretty obvious. The mistake we make is to reject all the tools and make a statement holding on to the word. Only after traveling the path can we form an opinion based on the lessons learned from the experiences gained. 

So there is a distinct separation between pre and post-Siddhaship or Siddahood. What the Siddhas dish out to man now through their Nadi readings is for them to survive in this world. But their true teachings expound the secrets to bringing the world into their palms. Prapanjam listens to them then and liaises and works according to or works for them in tandem. The confusion happens when a commoner reads their text and tries to understand their teachings with the limited faculties that are offsprings of the 96 tattvas. We will never know the truth using the apparatus that are governed by the tattvas as they themselves are tainted and soiled. We need the grace of the divine arul to come within and clear the rubbish accumulated over the years and beyond that we carry in us and refurbish this house into his temple. To reach the truth the false has to be dropped. When the effulgence comes within everything comes to light. This is the state of a Siddha. For those who have ventured to know the truth and are ready to take the leap, the Siddha comes to reveal drawing the veil or curtain aside. The Siddhas see through the veil of Maya or illusion. They see from an entirely different perspective. Agathiyar often says he only sees the soul. When we reach that state we shall see the plain truth of the matter. Until then we shall be embroiled in worldly matters thinking that as real.  

The seed planted in the past by a guru awaits to germinate. When the conditions are right in a particular birth, roots grow as we seek and search for the guru to quench our thirst to know. The guru shows the many ways that we can reach out as the branches reach out. The magic flowers within as we shut out all external stimuli. The fruit then is Gnana. 

RECOGNITION 2

We must all agree that we seem to have the most number of religious occasions and festivities all year round. Each month ushers a god or deity with specific rituals and prayers. We have seen and participated in them since the day we remember. Apart from getting the satisfaction to be a part of the festivities has any change taken place in us that brings us closer to the divine? Though we would have connected with them momentarily the moment we return home all this is lost as we face the daily challenges in life. Isn't there a means to connect and stay connected forever? The saints are depicted with a smile and bliss and a halo around them that shows their constant connection. I guess we must work on it too as they tirelessly did. They were a determined lot and as such managed to make the connection and remain connected. As for us, we tend to get irregular and short-lived moments as in low bandwidth communications. Yogi Ramsuratkumar says that indeed it is tough to get connected in this age of technology and the myriad of waves from gadgets that interfere. Just as the stars are seen in their totality at sea or from remote regions devoid of artificial lighting maybe we need to move into the interiors to actually connect. I guess here we have the serenity and calmness and tranquility of nature that would assist us in reaching out. But Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal want us to battle our way without leaving the home. Already as it is they have been very helpful in giving us the techniques and methods. But we just cannot seem to win the war. Maybe it is not meant to be in this lifetime. Maybe we can go so far as to know the way but cannot stay on track in this lifetime. Though both Supramania Swami and Tavayogi say we can always come back to polish and work on it in another birth, ain't it a wasted birth if we let it slip out of our hands having come this far. Speaking to Mahin yesterday I shared with him how I tested my worth before Lord Muruga. When he came during the Thaipusam gathering we had at AVM he took on the form of his image at the Natadreeswarar temple in the middle of the Kaveri river in Erode. The significance of Lord Muruga standing with his right leg forward is attributed to him coming forward to usher Agathiyar. Lord Muruga that day stood in this posture having come through a devotee for the entire time he was with us. Traveling with Tavayogi I came to know many things. Not that he had me sit at his ashram and bring out the sacred texts and explain them but he took me places. In these moments he would say a thing or two relevant to that moment. It was during one of these moments when we were about to visit a Mahan or saint in Tavayogi's eyes that he purchased a lime and took it with him. If we are known to bring flowers from our garden, milk, and other items as an offering to the gods in the temples, and bring sweetmeats that our gurus like while visiting them, he told me when one turavi or mendicant visits another they pass on a lime as a mark of respect and gift to someone on the path of Gnana. This makes sense as the turavi is one who has left his family and riches to walk the path to godhead we cannot expect him to make purchases and hand them these. So when everyone had their turn in standing before Lord Muruga to listen to what he had to say, I stood before him with a lime in my left hand and flowers in my right. Just as a Zamin only agreed to meet Ramalinga Adigal if the saint conformed to his thoughts, I told myself if he sees me as still stuck in Bhakti he shall pick the flowers and if he thought I had progressed to Gnana as Tavayogi wanted us to, he shall pick the lime. He touched the lime in my hand. I was delighted and fell at his feet placing both at his feet. 

OUR TRUE HOME

In 'Life Script - The Genome and the New Medicine" by Nicholas Wade, Simon & Schuster UK Ltd, 2001 we read that "Far from being a necessary end, death is purely contingent, a tail-end consequence of other more important processes." Agathiyar too in helping me rid the fear of death told me death is not the end but a doorway to another journey. Tavayogi appeared in a dream of a devotee where he was ferried across the waters with others all cloth in white by Lord Shiva himself. On the far bank, she could see Holy men going by their chores. Agathiyar in coming to us told me that my gurus should be by my side as I undergo many transitions and internal transformations but he had to take Tavayogi away to do his chore. Hence he was on hand to guide me further. Supramania Swami sitting in the living area of his kudil in Tiruvannamalai could see the Holy hill of Arunachala packed with Holymen going about their chores. When the famed Nadi Guru Hanumathdasan passed away Agathiyar told his close friends in the Nadi that he was meditating in the Pothigai hills. Hence family and friends were asked to let him go. When my mother was nearing her death, in asking my sibling and niece to let go of her, Agathiyar told us that she had to move on and take another birth that was in waiting. Going by these then there is indeed another world out there where we arrive and land and take up new chores. 

We are given a certain lifespan that varies from person to person. In the animal kingdom, too longevity is an asset with the elephant living more than seventy years while the small and vulnerable mouse has a short lifespan, writes Nicholas. Some trees are known to have lived long going by their measurements. The Siddhas who were once like us are said to be still living, some in their samadhis and others as light. They are said to manifest before some in person or as light. Tavayogi has seen and communicated with them in both forms. Konganar is said to have seen 18 Bharath wars fought. How was all this possible? While this remains a mystery, we hear of some who manage to cheat death and live long years. Some saints are known to be around for a very short while before returning. Illaiyaraja sings that he became separated from Lord Shiva and is lost and knows not how to find his way back in his song "En Ooru Sivapuram." So where is our true home? If we knew we would already be there and would not waste another moment here right? 

RECOGNITION 1

Agathiyar and Lord Murugan are known to show their acceptance of the results of the tasks or practices given to us upon completion each time showering a name appropriate to the state achieved. For instance, when my home was just a family home and he moved in as a statue in 2010 and began to send many over to watch and participate in our Pornami Puja, for easy reference and location purposes we adopted the name of the site where Tavayogi was asked to set up camp after his years traveling as a mendicant throughout India. Tavayogi located the site at present-day Kallar where the Thuripaalam or bridge is. It was known by the name Agathiyar Vanam in the past. Tavayogi named his ashram Agathiyar Gnana Peedham. The name Agathiyar Vanam that we took on turned out to be appropriate after Agathiyar came to visit us often.

When we took to the rituals and Homam, and began to practice Yoga, Lord Murugan gave us a name too. It was Agathiyar Tapovanam. "Tapovan (Sanskrit) comes from the two root words tapas, meaning 'penance' and by extension 'religious mortification' and 'austerity', and more generally 'spiritual practice', and vana, meaning 'forest' or 'thicket'. Tapovan then translates as 'forest of austerities or spiritual practice'." (https://en.wikipedia.org/)

Soon Agathiyar used our home to sit and meditate turning our home into Gnanakottam. 

Just as Tavayogi set his foot on our soil to introduce and preach the Siddha path officiating local affiliates of his Agathiyar Gnana Peedham, I guess in recognition of our work Lord Muruga recently asked us to branch out making each home Agathiyar Vanam too. 

Although it brings joy to us knowing that the divine recognizes our work and acknowledges giving names or tags to it at the back of our minds we are reminded that everything in this world is temporary. The place where my journey started, the old and original site of Kallar Ashram is in ruins today. Many civilizations have been wiped out from the face of the earth. https://www.britannica.com/ lists several namely the Maya empire, the Khmer empire, the Indus or Harappan civilization, the Polynesian civilization, the Catalhoyuk civilization, and the agrarian civilization known as the Mississippians. 

A mother wrote to the papers that the room was there, the wardrobe was there, and the clothes too, but her children were not there. They had grown up and left. Indeed what remains of the past are memories. Just yesterday I and my wife went for a walk in the park where I usually spend some quality time with my grandchildren. The swing, the slide, and the seesaw were there but the kids were missing as they had returned to their mother. The boulders that they imagined were their improvised home stood there too. A boulder was their bed. Another was mine. A third was the altar where they prayed. Another was the loo. But they were not there. The tiles were there too at the fountain park with their decorative patterns. But they were not there skipping and running along the laid-out pattern. Soon they would outgrow these imaginative games and find themselves in the company of new friends. They might not have time for us too.

So when Agathiyar personally groomed us into becoming Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia and had us close shop, I took it naturally though many were caught by surprise and ended up disappointed. I understood that for the next phase to begin we have to drop the earlier sheet of skin and walk out of it into the new. It is only when we step out of the old and move into the new that we have a clear view of our status and standing. This itself is a recognition of the spiritual progress that we have made. It is only when we do not pass the examination that we are held back and told to repeat it. I guess we had passed the examination set by the Siddhas. Hence they had Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia wind up as a place of congregation and instead sowed its seeds to germinate in other places too. At times I get the feeling that I am walking on the same track that Tavayogi did. Well, ain't that what a student should do, follow in the footsteps of the master?

S...I...D...D...H...A

Now since Lord Murugan has asked that each home become a temple just like my home, rather than building one, I look back at how this transformation came about. 

S------

It began with a Nadi reading calling me to worship the Siddhas. I was shown a simple thanksgiving puja to the Siddhas for documenting my life story, past, present, and future in these palm leaves. I began to worship the painting of Agathiyar given to me by the host who brought in the Nadi reader and recite the long list of names of Siddhas that was passed to me by the latter ending with Potri or salutations. Thus I began worship to the Siddhas in my home on my own. 

I.......

With the coming of Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar ashram into my life and home, he had me bring my family into the path too. He had me ignite the sacrificial fire or Homam, a smaller version of the Yajna or Yagam in my home. It was a perfect accompaniment to the existing recitation of their names. As we placed each handful of grains, herbs, roots, etc into the burning fire we recited a name of a Siddha accompanied by Svaha (a denouement used at the end of a mantra, which is invoked during yajna fire sacrifices and worship - https://en.wikipedia.org/).

D......

Dedication to the task at hand is an important component in this venture into Siddhaland. This will sustain us and keep us going without falling out or giving up.

D....

Discipline too is a vital factor here. 

H.....

Hatha Yoga is a must to progress further or rather internally leaving behind now all the rituals that are external. We learn to channel the vital energy source that is the prana to rise within us and make its journey at least till the second chakra from where with the grace or Arul of the Siddhas it then makes its journey further up clearing the energy blockages along its way. If prior to this sailing in Sariyai and Kriyai, the transformations were external, now we bring on an internal transformation and flowering in the head region eventually. The energy that comes to stay here henceforth begins to dictate every action of ours and determines our future and destiny.

A.......

With the churning of the sea that gave rise to the ambrosia as told in the Puranas, similarly with the churning within the body toxin accumulated over the years is expelled and the body and mind purified the ambrosia arises as a result of the flowering. This "honey" or nectar sustains us for the rest of our lives, repairing all tissues and cells, and illnesses are warded off. It gives us renewed vitality. The intake of Prana besides connecting us to the Prapanjam, energizes us further fanning the flame or effulgence that comes within. Bliss prevails at least during these moments of connecting. Connecting with the Siddhas by reciting their names in Sariyai one moves to connect with all of creation within the Prapanjam by lighting the Homam in Kriyai. Soon turning our sights within we move from the gross to the subtle by connecting with our breath in Yoga. The coiled energies in us soon arise and make their way up to connect us with the source of all LIFE.

THE RISING

All search has stopped. All the readings do not interest me anymore. The singing of praises comes to a halt on its own. All the watching and listening do not amuse me anymore. All conversations, be it on worldly matters or spiritual matters do not interest me no more. No amount of talk interests me, even those on spiritual matters. Nothing or nobody grips my attention not even the religious and spiritual. Nothing interests me anymore and it is nothing of my doing. It just came down to it. I am an alien amidst my own people. I am a stranger in the company of others. But nevertheless, there is a feeling of completeness or puranam within. 

I keep asking myself if it was arrogance and ego that has arisen in me that shuns all these. I pray not for I have learned that many have fallen never to rise up again when they we closest to achieving their spiritual dreams. As I go through the lines of Ramalinga Adigal who lists the possible reasons for his birth or karma that gave rise to his birth, I shudder in fear if I had stepped on other's feet and brought on me their wrath that I have to come back to settle the score or make good in another birth. 

Why is this happening to me I asked myself? When AVM was a hive of activity I saw where I was heading. Agathiyar by holding our hands brought us from Sariyai to Kriyai to Yoga, but the moment he asked us to drop everything and move within we were lost. As we associate activity with progress and set milestones as a yardstick for us, suddenly we are left in the lurch to fend for ourselves and grope in the dark or so it seemed. As the darkness threatens to envelop us, there comes a song or two that lifts us into the realm of joy or drives us to think of the authenticity of the lyrics or lines. Here are some that indeed make us sit back and take notice and ponder on the truth of these lyrics.

Eating has become sacred just like puja was at one time. I savor the food asking that what I consume reaches and satisfies the hunger of many out there. To my grandchildren like other children who are prone to complain about why a dish was served and not another, I tell them to receive the food given with gratitude first. I ask them to thank the almighty for the food first. Whatever they don't want or cannot finish the adults will for we know the cost of food and its preciousness. 

Sleep has diminished. Hunger prevails at times, otherwise, there is a fullness felt in the belly. The body keeps expelling urine frequently and stools and urine at times, smell of decay and rot within. The flowering in the head comes on without any pomp and fanfare and stays on for as long as I bring my attention to it. The bodily pains that come uninvited do leave without notice too. I guess the body is healing itself. If testosterone levels are known to decline with age, here it seems to be high again as in our twenties. I guess I can understand why some gurus fell in disgrace at their prime or peak of popularity. I guess a safe bet would be to be with the spouse and satisfy these urges. 

But Agathiyar's presence is felt at all moments as we step away from the norm and venture further into unknown frontiers. Hence the reason he asks that I share is so that others eager to venture on the trodden track would have an idea of what is in store, though he says that these experiences will vary from person to person and even he cannot describe them to us. Ramalinga Adigal says he hesitates to describe not because it was forbidden but for lack of words to describe. Words cannot justify these experiences. I guess that is the reason the ones who have tasted the ambrosia chose not to speak about it for how could you describe sweetness to another without having them partake in a portion of it for themselves. We have to experience them for ourselves. 

I used to ask Suren if I had overshared my experiences back then as he was an ardent reader of this blog. Then Agathiyar comes along and asks me to share my experiences in going within which is not much to shout about. Now I ask readers if there is even an iota of arrogance or ego or pride in my relatively insignificant achievements shared on this blog, please forgive me for it is not my intent to beat the drum and blow one's horn. 

A NEW PURPOSE

I was working on my newfound faith alone at first, then with my family and a small group of friends, until Agathiyar sent a young man over after reading his Nadi. He in turn introduced several colleagues, friends, family members, and other youngsters to the Nadi and the belief and faith in it and brought them over to AVM. A union of young souls gathered and carried out all the dictates of Agathiyar thenceforth. Seven years later Agathiyar had them go their way winding up the company of devotees and had others take up Yoga and some go within. As many had responsibilities toward their families they were equipped with the basics and set free to explore the world and gain lessons from their worldly existence and work out their karma and those of kith and kin. Others were lifted to the next level giving them practices in Yoga that would prepare their body for the surge of energies that was to come their way. To those who were ready physically and mentally having seen through their responsibilities and practiced Yoga the next step was to refrain from unessential activities and go within. In the four years that I attempted, to go within, though unsuccessful, I learned to let go of many things as Mahin pointed out to me. I understand now that it was an essential part of the process. I turned down the many gifts that Agathiyar promised in the years before the lockdown including possession of and the capability to read the Nadi, a gift of healing, counseling, and even a status of a guru. Though I had turned down these gifts, I had never disobeyed the directives of the Siddha until now, except for their requests to build them a temple.

After several attempts at convincing me to carry out their plan to have me build a temple, they have come around and changed it to cater to my reasoning and logic behind my refusal to carry it out. Lord Murugan did not want me to go through the ordeals of putting up a temple at this age. He now tells me it is no more necessary to build a public religious and spiritual amenity like the temple but to work on making each home that Agathiyar and the Siddhas visit a temple just like my home has turned to. Mahin tells me that this is an even harder job to do which I do agree with for many reasons. In bringing many together to sit in the puja carried out in my home Agathiyar had envisioned that the puja would be brought back into the homes of the participants and each of these homes became an AVM. While I wonder how many others have brought the worship back into their homes, many took the worship back with them but it has yet to catch fire and consume the rest of their family and those who stay under the same roof. Though only a handful opened their doors to conduct rituals in their homes when Agathiyar in the form of his Murthy at AVM visited their homes back then in 2016, I wonder how many of them took up the puja regularly and made it a part and parcel of their daily lives after Tavayogi initiated them officially into it. There was understandably a time frame for all these traits to be acquired because soon the puja too was brought to a halt and Agathiyar had us take up yoga. He asked me to share the technique shown to me by Tavayogi with one devotee and that devotee would pass that on to others. Only a handful took the practice up. I wonder if they are doing it regularly too. When Agathiyar in the Jeeva Nadi reading read by Mataji during her visit to Malaysia in 2019, offered to initiate those present through Mataji only a couple of them took up the initiation. 

We tend to put off things and miss out on their treasures. We generally lack perseverance and discipline in whatever we do especially if it does not stem from within, or is desired. We immediately ask how many times one needs to do a technique shown just minutes into it. It shows our impatience and lack of faith in it. Or we ask how many times we need to do it to decide whether we should take up the practice in the very first place. Many shy away after being briefed while others give up after several attempts. In summary, this lot is just not ready as yet. But time flies and age catches up with us. Tavayogi and Agathiyar tell me that one needs to achieve their state before attaining 60 after which the body cannot work in tandem with the requirements and the transformation that takes place. Now I understand how difficult it would have been for Tavayogi to pull people away from the lure of pleasure and distractions of the world around them and bring them into the path and have them stay long. 

We need commitment, discipline, perseverance, patience, belief, and faith on this path. Above all, we need to listen to the Siddhas and start the moment they initiate us without any further delay. As with the clockwork precision of nature, new initiatives work in favor when started on time. When we delay it is a lost opportunity to reap the harvest on time. 

To those who come around asking to know about the worship of the Siddhas, I turned them down pointing them to other establishments. I did not want to revisit something that I was told to drop. But the divine as usual has his own plans for us. He wants me to revisit them for the sake of others just as Tavayogi said when he built the ashram temple at Kallar. Since Lord Murugan has asked me to convert each home into Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) I am figuring out how I am going to take on such a massive task. He says Agathiyar will show the way and means. I guess this is one of the many tasks that are to come my way, as Agathiyar was hinting about and beating around the bush earlier telling me that I had to buy time and stay on to complete it.

MIRACLES

Stories of miracles have always captivated me. We see the presence of something larger, call it god, angels, or gurus, in our midst performing these miracles. We see their presence when all hope is lost though we still carry on the battle. When Lord Murugan came on Thaipusam day he told me to give my best shot in all the things I do. He said in the event, I cannot manage Agathiyar will come to my aid. By this statement, I understood that he did not mean that upon giving up the tasks at hand Agathiyar will come. Neither did he mean deserting the job. He meant to see through it though the odds could be against us, then he does a miracle. The drowning man is saved by a stick. The falling man is saved by a net. So did her boat Ella's Pink Lady save Jessica Watson when her boat capsized in the rough seas in 2010. Watching the biographic movie of Jessica Watson "True Spirit" moments ago, when the family, newsmen, and the world are watching eagerly for her to complete her solo journey sailing around the world her boat capsizes in a storm. She decided to battle the storm rather than accept failure as she was so close to home. When they are prepared to accept the bad news miraculously her boat Pink Lady resurfaces. She calls her family saying Pink saved her. She makes it alive after 210 days at sea. 

I guess similarly Agathiyar wants us to battle the storm that comes our way knowing that he shall be there to receive us. There are many tales of miracles that have taken place in the lives of people all around the world. Reading them we too pray for a miracle to take place in our lives. It is generally believed that only upon surrender shall god intervene. But on the contrary, he comes when we lose our last grip on the rope. Then that is considered a miracle. The miracles come when we have tried our best and keep going in the face of the storm. Here we have tried what were tasks to us and find ourselves losing grip or hold or on the verge of the vine snapping. 

On the other hand surrender to him has to come in the very beginning itself where we leave it to him to manage our lives. It is only total surrender when we go with the flow and do not interfere. 

We all do ask for a miracle when someone dear is about to leave us or ask for them to survive their ordeal or surgery. The doctors who attend to us would have these last words for the next of kin, that they have given their best with whatever tools on hand and knowledge and experience they had and ask that we turn to God and pray for their fast recovery. They never ask us to pray at the onset. We too believe that they can do something about our loved one's condition. A miracle is thus a work of god or the hand of god manipulating the odds in our favor. Miracles are done in the lives of many to pull their attention from the mundane towards the spiritual too. Henceforth they gather faith and belief and venture on into new territories. Saints and godmen with certain powers bestowed on them are known to perform miracles. Shamans and medicine men are known to rope in the spirits to perform them. Thus a miracle is something beyond the norm or what is fated. 

TURNING THE HOME & THE BODY INTO A TEMPLE

A young lady surprised me by asking to learn about Gnanam in her message to me on Fb. Soon we talked over the phone. I was extremely happy that there was a soul that would have satisfied and made  Tavayogi very happy, as Tavayogi told us hardly anyone came to him or came to read his Jeeva Nadi wanting to know about Gnanam. Those who come were all interested in worldly things. When Agathiyar came around asking what we wanted some time back he stopped short of offering my wish to be born again and again to serve him asking me if that was what I really wanted. Sharing this with Mahin we wandered if we should ask for Gnanam even though not knowing what it was as Tavayogi used to remind us that that was what we should seek. Agathiyar defined it the next time he came as the experience gained in journeying within oneself. 

He says of Gnanam, "You asked of me Gnanam. When one goes within and his journey starts, the effect of the result of this journey on him is Gnanam." 

"நீ என்னிடம் கேட்டது ஞானம். ஒருவன் தனக்குள் உள்வாங்கி அவனுள் பயணம் துவங்கும் நேரம் அப்பயணம் தரும் பாதிப்பே ஞானம்." 

So it seems that it is the outcome of an internal journey within oneself. 

He added that "It defers for each person. As such I cannot possibly define it." 

"அவை ஒவ்வொருவருக்கும் மாற்றம் பெரும். ஆகையால் அவை நான் இதுதான் என்று சொல்ல இயலாது." 

He added further that Gnanam is not gifted but has to be earned, experienced, and learned. 

"ஞானம் என்பது நான் தருவதல்ல. நீ கற்பது."

As Agathiyar said that Gnanam was not gifted by him nor offered on a plate it has to be acquired through experience in journeying within, traversing each chakra, and upon reaching the final destination that would be the flowering of Gnanam.  Agathiyar says that the truth shall dawn when we go within. When the truth is known the veil is shed. When the veil is drawn aside the truth is revealed. That is the moment of Gnanam. It is not hokus pokus. It is beyond that too. 

"நீங்கள் உள் பயணிக்கும் போது எல்லாம் தெரிய வரும். எல்லாம் தெரிய வந்ததால் திரை விலகியதற்கு அர்த்தம் தானே? எல்லாம் தெளிவாகத் தெரியும் சமயம் திரை விலகியதற்கு அர்த்தம். அதுதான் ஞானம். இது மந்திர ஜாலம் அல்ல. அதற்கும் அப்பால் பட்டது."

I guess it is the soul's journey that he speaks of and not the daily experiences and lessons we gain from our interaction with the world outside us. If our daily experience in the material world was Gnanam then everyone would be a Gnani in his own way. This would rightly be worldly wisdom accumulated from the lessons learned from the experiences gained in the years of living. It would be the wisdom to decide, choose and advise on what is right and wrong. But the Gnanam spoken about by the saints is the experience of going within and churning the sea and bringing the tide up, expelling the poison that Lord Shiva would then consume and bring forth the ambrosia that is hidden deep within the sea bed or rather the deep recesses of our inner Self. Ramalinga Adigal in asking me to stomach all the inconveniences including the noises and awful stench and smells of animal poo in the neighborhood that I faced that surprisingly surfaced the day after Agathiyar asked me to go within, told me that they were hindrances placed by them. He explained further that effort in going within is needed to overcome the troubles and that it shall exist until we are lost within ourselves. The experience gained will bring about Gnanam. Ramalinga Adigal affirms further that attaining the state of Gnanam needs effort. The effort placed in going within brings new experiences quite unlike what we have seen in our daily lives. 

"அவைகளை உமக்கு இன்னல்கள். அவைகளை உமக்கு ஞானம். பொறுத்துக்கொள். தனது முயற்சியால் உமது ஐம் புலன்களை அடக்கிடுவாய். அது நடக்கும் வண்ணம் இவைகள் உமக்குத் தொந்திராவு வழங்கும்."

Agathiyar in consoling me said that the source of these disturbances which he terms Pulurivigal or parasites shall exist even if we were to run and hide deep in the jungles. Only then they shall be in a different form. Since we are in towns and cities the irritation shall come through people and their pets. Agathiyar explains that when we fully understand ourselves and gain self-realization; when we understand the Ganangal or Bhuta Ganangal; and come to finally realize that nothing is permanent, at that moment we shall enter and remain in the void of space (Vezhi Kadappathu). That is just "being" or Summa Erupathu. When we go within its silence is heard in this state of Sunyam or void or silence where there are no labels, forms, or sounds. Everything dissolves into IT. Only existence prevails.

"உன்னை நீ முழுதும் அறிந்து உன்னைச் சுற்றி இருக்கும் கணங்கள் அறிந்து எதுவும் நிலை அற்றது என்று நீ அறியும் அத்தருணம் வெளிக்குள் நீயே வெளி கடப்பாய். அத்தருணமே சும்மா இருப்பது."

Now I understand why Supramania Swami did not hear the din that came from the motor workshop that sprang overnight next to the kudil we built for him at Thiruvannamalai. It dawns on me now that what they are implying is that by ignoring the pain and troubles we overcome them without any confrontation.

After a brief spell of some four years beginning in 2019 where Agathiyar brought a halt to all puja and charity, Lord Murugan asked me on Thaipusam day, to turn each home, just as my home has turned into, an Agathiyar Vanam. He has brought me back one cycle, back to square one, to what I did in the beginning years. But as Tavayogi replied when I asked him about the need for him to build the ashram temple and he replied that it was not for him but for others, and just as Agathiyar told me that the Homam I was asked to carry out was not for me but the good of the Prapanjam; and just as Lord Shiva in 2020 and Prapanjam herself in 2022 asked us to conduct the Homam to heal the world from the effects of the coronavirus, I guess similarly the divine has tasked me again to revisit these rituals for the sake of others yearning to come to the path. 

How did I begin then? For each home to evolve into Agathiyar Vanam, Siddha puja shall be conducted first beginning with the recitation of the names of the Siddhas and followed by the ritual of performing the Homam. The householders would have to carry out charity. Agathiyar in addressing all those gathered during his Vizha, wanted us to entertain the guests who turn up in their homes for he says that they are sent by him. The pantheon of gods and heavenly beings would turn up too. It was a means of carrying out charity for those who did not have the means and opportunity to do it elsewhere. Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar of Ongkarakudil expounds on this teaching asking us to carry out Virunthu Upasarippu at home when we entertain visitors with food offerings besides Annadhanam or feeding the hungry out there too. These would amount to stepping into Kriyai taking upon ourselves these noble tasks. Then there is a need to embark on Yoga that brings us to the journey within that flowers into Gnanam. To get started one needs to learn about the Tattvas that govern us. Then one has to notice the changes taking place within and realize and become aware that his journey within has begun. He has to acknowledge the power of the breath and question himself if the breath was in him or if he was of it and hence recognize the merger. This would be the advent of the Pranava Deham.

"உடல் கூறு தத்துவங்களைத் தெரிந்துகொண்டாயா? தேக மாற்றம் உணருகிறாயா? உன் உள் பயணத்தை அறிந்துகொண்டாயா? பிரணவத்தின் சக்தி உணருகிறாயா? உன் பிரணவத்தால் ஊடுகிறாயா? அல்லது பிரணவம் உன்னுள் ஊடுகிறதா?"

An understanding of the structure of the body is a prerequisite to an understanding of the inner journey. The subtle experiences that result from bodily changes bring a new understanding of the inner journey. Becoming aware of the breath and its movement brings us to merge with the breath. Remaining in this state of bliss (இன்பத்தில் ஆழ்ந்து கொண்டுவா) we finally are set ablaze in effulgence (உன்னுள் ஜோதி எரியும்). The Pranava Deham then fuels the Jothi.

Agathiyar had reminded us at the start of our journey within that external insignias and symbols, customs, and traditions were not necessary. 

"All this while it was an external journey, one that was worldly. Now it is a journey within. We shall not play Siddhis or tricks. There is no need for external insignias. Only if there is a need for it shall we take it up. This is Sudha Sanmargam." 

"இது நாள் வரை நீ கடந்து வந்தது இவ்வுலக வாழ்க்கையின் பயணம். இனி நீ கடக்க போவது உமது உள்பயணம். சித்து வேண்டாம். வெளி சின்னம் வேண்டாம். அவசியம் இருக்குமானால் அணிந்து கொள்ளுங்கள். இது சுத்த சன்மார்க்கம்.

Now he reiterates the same asking us to only anoint the ash, and carry or participate in the customs and rituals if the need arises. He told us that henceforth he would not appear before us, neither would he apply the holy ash on us, nor bless us verbally or through touch. When Lord Murugan after seeing each one of us some time back called us back and applied the Vibhuti as if it was an afterthought, he whispered to me, that if he does not apply the sacred ash on their foreheads they would be disappointed. Hence he had to please them. He laughed at our dependency on external symbols. 

Agathiyar in my final Nadi reading on 24.12.2019 before he changed his modus operandi and spoke to us through his devotees, revealed that,

"Gnanam is the art of transforming the Asudha Deham into a Sudha Deham and later into the Pranava Deham and finally into the Oli Deham. Gnanam then is in knowing this art and making the transformation happen. For this to take place we need to observe the breath and know the Tattvas too."

"அசுத்த தேகம் சுத்த தேகமாகி, பிரணவ தேகமாகி, ஒளி தேகமாகும் வித்தையே ஞானம். அதற்குத் தியானத்தில் வாசியைக் கவனி. உடல் குறு தத்துவங்களை அறிய வேண்டும்." 

On 30.1. 2020 he commanded the following. 

"Sit before me and meditate. During this moment carry out the cleansing breath as taught by your guru. Just the important ones. You shall sense a coolness within. Remain silent in these moments. Focus on your breath. Your breath shall touch the Suzhimunai and swirl. Travel along your seven chakras. That journey shall awaken your chakras. After traversing these chakras when it touches the seventh you shall know your purpose here. Currently, your breath is at the Svadhishthana. It is about time it opened up. This is the right time to start this practice." 

"தினமும் காலையில் குளித்து வெறும் வேஷ்டி அணிந்து என் முன் அமர்ந்து தியானம் செய்து வா. தியான முறையின் பொது உமது குரு கூறிய சுவாச சுத்திகரிப்பு பயிற்சியினை செய்து வா. அனைத்தும் வேண்டாம். மூல பயிற்சி மட்டும் போதும். அதை நீ செய்து வர உனக்குள் ஒரு தனி குளிர்ச்சி ஏற்படும். அந்நிலையில் நீ அமைதி கோல். உனது மூச்சில் கவனம் கோல். உமது மூச்சு உமது சுழிமுனை தோட்டு சூழும். உமது ஏழு சக்கரங்களில் பயணம் செய். அப்பயணம் உமது சக்கரங்கள் ஒவ்வொன்றாய் பூர்த்தி செய்யும். மூலாதாரம், ஸ்வாதிஷ்டானம், மணிபூரகம், அனாகதம், விசுத்தி, ஆக்கினையென ஏழாவது சக்கரம் தொடும் நிலையில் நீ உனது பிறவிக்கான பலனை அறிவாய். இத்தருணம் மான் மூச்சு குளத்தில் இருக்கிறது. அவை திறக்கும் தருணம் வந்தது. இப்பொழுதுதான் நீ உமது பயிற்சியினை தொடங்க வேண்டும். இந்நிலையில் அச்சக்கரம் முற்றும் திறந்து விடும்." 

Agathiyar continued on the changes to be expected on 22 August 2022.

"You shall witness many changes taking place within you. Do not fear. Due to the activation of the chakras your body shall emit a foul smell. You shall have constipation. You shall urinate often. Take lots of warm water.  The Agathiyar Kuzhambu you took did help in expelling the 3 dosas. But there is still more filth that shall be expelled in due time. Carry out the said practice." 

"உடலில் பல மாற்றங்கள் கண்டறிவாய். பயம் கொள்ள வேண்டாம். இச்சக்கரங்கள் புணர்ச்சியால் உன் உடலில் ஏற்படும் மாற்றங்கள், துர்நாற்றம் வீசும், மல சிக்கல் ஏற்படும், கழிவு ஆகும், சிறுநீர் அதிகம் வெளியேறும். வெந்நீர் அதிகம் அருந்து. அன்று நீ உண்ட குழம்பினாள் உன் உடலிலிருந்து வாத, பித்த, கபம் சற்றே அகன்றது. இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. அவை அகலும். இப்பயிற்சியினை மேற்கோள்."

He enlightens us further. "All this while you have gained external knowledge or Ulaga Gnanam. Now you shall gain Gnanam that is going to serve you." Agathiyar reiterates that "When one starts the journey in going within, the result is Gnanam. But it shall vary among people. Hence I cannot say exactly what shall take place." 

"ஒருவன் தனக்குள் உள்வாங்கி அவனுள் பயணம் துவங்கும் நேரம் அப்பயணம் தரும் பாதிப்பே ஞானம். அவை ஒவ்வொருவருக்கும் மாற்றம் பெரும். ஆகையால் அவை நான் இதுதான் என்று சொல்ல இயலாது. நீ இதுவரையில் கண்ட ஞானம் உலக வாழ்க்கை ஞானம். இனி காணப்போவது உனக்கான ஞானம்."

Agathiyar says that when our personal thoughts leave us know that that is the start of the journey towards attaining Gnanam referring to those who are yet to take up his teachings seriously.

"When their external thoughts leave them Gnanam shall dawn on them and they shall take up the path of Gnanam." 

"அவர்களின் எண்ணம் எப்போ அவர்களை விட்டு விலகுகிறது அப்போ அவர்கள் ஞானம் கைகூடி அவர்கள் ஞான பாதையில் அடி வைப்பார்கள்."

Ramalinga Adigal came on 14.5.2020 and gave me a tremendous boost. He spoke about the effulgence that shall come down to reside both in the home and in us and walk this earth. 

"When you reach my state, energy will come within you without your knowledge. That is Suzhimunai. There is much to learn. You have my blessings. I shall travel with you till you reach the destination. I accompany those who go deep within. Follow your breath. Place the effort and you shall reach the destination." 

"எனது நிலையை நீ தொடும்போது உன்னை அறியாது உன்னை நோக்கி ஒரு சக்தி உன்னுள் இறங்கும். அதுவே சுழிமுனை. நீ கற்பதற்கு இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. எனது பரிபூரண ஆசியோடு கற்பிப்பாய். உன்னுள் ஜோதி எரியும் வரை நான் உன்னோடு வருவேன். ஆழ்ந்து இருப்போருடன் நான் சேர்ந்து இருக்கிறேன். உமது பிரணவத்தை கொண்டு செல். ஜோதியோடு கலப்பாய்."

We owe all this to our gurus. As we are told that they were the catalyst and the fuel that elevated us to the present state.

"Supramania Swami was the guru who led you to the path of worship to guru. He taught you guru bhakti or devotion to the guru. You received the merits from his tapas. Tavayogi too in his light form is trying to bring salvation to you. He is traveling with you. You traveled in his way and followed his teachings. You spread his fame and helped him attain the state of Jothi. He who is currently with you shall continue to travel with you." 

"சுப்ரமணியன் உனக்கு வழிநடுத்திய குரு. குருவைத் தொடர்ந்திருக்கும் ஒரு சீடன் அக்குருவை எவ்வாறு நடத்த வேண்டும் என்று கல்வியை சுப்ரமணியன் உனக்குப் போதித்தான். அவன் தவ வலிமையை நீ பெற்றாய். தவயோகி ஆத்ம ஜோதியாய் உங்களை கரை தேர்த இன்னமும் முயற்சிக்கிறான். உங்களோடே பயணிக்கிறான். அவன் வழி நடந்து முழுமையாக கடைபிடித்து வரும் ஒரு சீடன் நீ. அவன் புகழை பரப்பிய உன் தவ வலிமையால் அவன் ஜோதி நிலை தொட்டு விட்டான். தற்பொழுது அவன் உங்களை வழி நடுத்த உங்கள் அருகில்தான் இருக்கிறான். இன்னும் இன்றும் உங்களோடு பயணிக்கிறான்."

Agathiyar in explaining to those gathered around to celebrate his Vizha on Thaipusam day finally made me realize why Rengarajah Desigar had refrained from blessing me when I visited him in 2003 making me upset and question my worth. I had asked him to bless me expecting him as all gurus traditionally do, to either place his palm on my head or verbally say something but Rengarajah Desigar chose to remain quiet and seemed to hold back the blessing. After asking several times he finally uttered that coming there itself was a blessing. As I was a new kid on the block, just a year old on the path, I felt dejected and questioned myself if I was not worthy of his blessings. Today I understand fully when Agathiyar addressed us. Agathiyar spelled out clearly that just entering the presence of a saint or the premise would suffice in us gaining their blessings just as Rengarajah Desigar had meant back then. This reminds us of Agathiyar's earlier reminder of how to conduct ourselves at the samadhis of saints.  He questioned us bluntly as to who we are to think we are empowering them by carrying out rituals for them. If we empower the deities to come within the statues and grace and bless us by carrying out rituals at these temples similarly when Agathiyar came to my home in the form of a bronze statue he told us to give life to the metal by reciting his mantra 100,000 times. We understood that the energy harnessed through the recitation was transferred to the otherwise lifeless statue. We had tapped into the Prapanjam reciting Agathiyar's name and passed on the accumulated energy to the statue that received and gained Sakthi or power, which would eventually serve to see through the needs and desires of the devotees. The samadhis on the other hand are supercharged with the living masters sitting in samadhi. What we are to do is to sit and partake in the prevalent energy and leave. No rituals are required. Similarly reading about how the silent guru Bhagawan Ramana dishes out his blessings silently, each devotee who enters his divine space or has an audience with him, or stood or sat in his presence would go through a unique and different experience. Agathiyar in acknowledging our spiritual growth told us to acquire all that we desired from Prapanjam directly as he had given us access to it and Ramalinga Adigal has taught us the means and methods to for it on his numerous visits. 

A friend and devotee who is currently witnessing an internal journey himself says he has to differentiate his thoughts from the messages given. So too when they come through us we asked ourselves if it is our thoughts or their messages. Agathiyar told us that he lives in us, sees through us, hears through us, and speaks through us. Since Agathiyar says he is in us, listening and speaking within us, he has asked us to stop relying on external sources for Gnanam. He shall use us to do his work. He spelled out different tasks to those gathered around telling us that he has much work for us. As for me he brought up the subject of the need to raise a temple again. If I had thought all this while and questioned the need for another temple among the many for Lord Murugan and Agathiyar, Lord Murugan told me that he was never really shown in the correct light. He said that I shall show him differently. But this time around he spoke about each home becoming a temple. Lord Murugan clarified that the temple was the home of seekers and devotees. They now showed me how and in what sense it was to be different clearing the air.  When others start to gather followers creating temples, spaces, places, and venues for them to gather and worship the Siddhas, here Agathiyar has us start in our own homes and bring the Siddhas and deities to stay, hence turning our homes into temples too. In starting on the first step of turning the home into a temple we shall soon turn this body into one too by his grace and begin the process of the merger with the divine.

THE SIDDHA WAY

Just as a son easily inherits the business that his father painstakingly builds from scratch, the disciple too to a certain extent inherits the merits of his guru. Both my gurus in physical form had left behind the merits of their austerities or tapas and hard work to this undeserving simpleton. Just as Agathiyar in the very beginning when he was not carrying this name and was a common citizen just like us, served Supramaniar who was not Lord Murugan too as yet and was promised the state of Jothi that Supramaniar had accomplished with Agathiyar's help in providing shelter and food and other services, attained the promised state and was bestowed the name Agathiyar in a subsequent birth, the promised land never evades us. It can happen now or in future births. As Supramania Swami and Tavayogi said we shall polish and work on it, till the shine comes on or shall come back, again and again, to work on this jewel, this jewel is made available to us eventually by the grace or Arul of the divine. 

Just as we inherit family wealth, making funds available and possible for us to bravely venture into building the family businesses further, diversifying and expanding it, disciples tend to inherit the merits of the masters in their lineage. These merits shall quick-start or hasten one's journey multifold. The Siddhas are a great help to souls who come by seeking their guidance. They show us the methods and ways to inherit merits, merits that go beyond the material world. This accumulation of merits determines the present life and the lives to come. First, they make us understand why we are where we are. This is the outcome of our past actions that have been bottled and brought with us that we drink from and get intoxicated or poisoned as the case may be. They teach us Kriyai where we can safely discard the bottle and we are no more dependent on its contents to determine our lives as the Siddhas have taken charge. They replace the wine or poison with ambrosia that arises from within as they lead us into the practice of Yoga next. Finally, in a state of Gnana we sing a different tune. This is the Siddha path simplified.

Agathiyar had at one time told me that I need not become a monk but can remain a family man and besides carrying out my responsibilities to my family engaged in the worship of the Siddhas. Tavayogi too had told me to bring the family into the fold just as I came into the path of the Siddhas taking up the call by Agathiyar in my Nadi. All he had me do was spend a few days at Tavayogi's ashram and he arranged for Tavayogi to take me on a ride of bliss and joy. As we left the ashram Tavayogi turned to me and said "Only now the true journey begins my son". Indeed I was captured by the sights and sounds that awaited me wherever we went and strengthened my faith and belief in the existence of the Siddhas. Carrying on with my home puja upon my return to Malaysia, Agathiyar showed numerous miracles just as he had promised that they would continue in my homeland. The miracles take place to this day. 

Sharing my journey and these miracles in my earlier websites and present blog, Agathiyar recently asked to share the internal changes going on at present within me. If many had gathered in my home since I started Siddha puja, and we brought this puja into the homes of those who invited the Siddhas in and into the temples that were Siddha friendly, on Thaipusam day Lord Murugan asked me to help turn these homes into another Agathiyar Vanam too as my home has come to be known. Just as Agathiyar asked me to share my experiences with readers of this blog, I guess I could bring the worship into the homes of readers who invite the Siddhas in. We shall figure of a way to do it together. 

MY TASK NOW

I guess nothing is written in stone. The divine can wipe and rewrite each person's fate creating a new destiny according to the needs of the moment. I guess the temple would have materialized if I had taken up the offer when Agathiyar and Lord Murugan placed it before me several times before. Having seen the troubles people go through in wanting to accomplish their dream building and subsequently worrying about who shall come to take charge upon their demise, I kept away from engaging in such a mammoth task. Due to my hesitation and reluctance (this was the only time) to submit to their request, they switched the modus operandi.

The guessing game is over now. The request to build a temple that was first put forth by Agathiyar in my very first Nadi reading in 2002 and later by Lord Murugan in 2018 has been dropped considering my age. Lord Murugan came and said that he did not want to make it difficult for me (I guess considering the amount of work and funds required towards building one and the sleepless night one has till it is completed.) Instead, he redefined the word Alayam or temple as every home where the divine resides. He made known my purpose here, which Agathiyar in ridding my fear of death earlier had mentioned that he expected much from me in the years to come. உன்னில் இருந்து நான் காரியங்கள் செய்வதற்கு இன்னும் நிறைய இருக்கிறது. I was to visit the homes of seekers and turn them into Agathiyar's Vanam (garden or residence) just as my home became one. I guess he has given me the tasks that he gave Tavayogi too in 2004 when he arrived on our shores, just that Agathiyar had asked him to preach and spread the words of the Siddhas since Tavayogi was an orator. It was apt of Agathiyar to task him with such. As for me, he has tasked me to write this blog and now bring the worship of Siddhas into these homes thus bringing them from Sariyai to Kriyai. Lord Murugan said Agathiyar shall guide me further on how it was to take place. 

If there is one thing that we shall leave behind it shall be the name Agathiyar Vanam. What started in a place that was told to Tavayogi by Agathiyar to scout out and build an ashram after he completed his search and travels and tapas in the caves in the late nineties, later became a household name after I took on the name to easily identify the location of my home to others. It shall now become the brand name for all the homes that invite Agathiyar in, henceforth. After preaching about the Siddhas in Malaysia beginning in 2004 and initiating Siddha puja in the homes of those who requested, including me, and his final initiation in the homes of some 10 devotees who invited him over when he was last in Malaysia in 2016 I guess I am to continue his work now. My task, for now, is to establish Agathiyar Vanam all over. That was the task Lord Murugan gave me when he arrived amidst us at AVM yesterday as the world celebrated  Thaipusam. 

P.S. I am overjoyed that he dropped the task of building a physical temple.