IMMERSE IN THE PRAPANJAM

When my neighbor, a Chinese medium healed me, chanting some verses and writing Chinese characters on a strip of rice paper with red ink, and burned it, collecting its ashes in a glass of water and having me drink it; when the doctors who applied fiberglass cast on my daughter's fracture told us that it would heal on its own accord given her young age; when Siddha physician Dr.Krishnan said our body has the gift of healing itself; when Agathiyar told my younger daughter that the Prapanjam would heal her eyes; when the chief priest at the Buddhist Vihara healed her throat with his touch placing his palm on her head and chanting the sound Mmmm; when a healer placed her palms at her throat and did chakra and energy healing; when Lord Muruga coming through a devotee healed my back by stroking it with a peacock feather and chanting the Arutperunjothi mantra into a glass of water and having me drink it; it is pretty obvious that healing is done by Prapanjam using light, sound, and vibration, taking over after man does the procedures and places his faith in his efforts and in his prayers. 

Space resonates. The whole of nature resonates in wonder and beauty and sings a song and a tune, with the breeze blowing gently as in a Bansuri flute, the rustle of the leaves as in tapping a Kanjira, the flowing waters trying to keep up with the tala or rhythmic cycle. Even when it rains it is the sound of music, with the thunderclaps in the distance adding drum beats to the melodious music of the rain. 

Temples and places of worship are spaces with a certain resonating vibration. I heard the walls of Agathiyar's sanctum at Agasthiyampalli resonate with the Pranavam AUM as I chanted the mantra. I felt these intense vibrations that overcame me, fell me, leaving me crying in ecstasy at the Dhakshanamurthy shrine in the corridors of the Madurai Meenakshi temple and again at his sannadhi at the Ekambareswarar temple. I felt the walls of Dhakshanamurthy's shrine at the top of the flight of small steps at the Big temple in Tanjore resonate as I sat in the tight space before him chanting the Pranavam AUM. 

The woods, forest, and jungles, too must have resonated to a different tune for the 69-year-old Tavayogi for it drove him to take big steps and walk ahead as if he was possessed, never turning back to see if I was keeping up. 

The beat of drums, musical notes, and Kavadi Chindhu songs can bring those who are susceptible to the drum beats and vibrations to dance spontaneously while in others its vibrations could open up heaven and bring deities down to vocalize and bless those gathered.  Underlying all these are vibrations. 

Annie Besant in her talks on "The Laws of the Higher Life", the Theosophical Publishing House, 1903, says, 

"The more highly evolved brain that is sensitive and readily responsive to subtle vibrations is that of the spiritual, artistic, and literary genius. Then the normal brain under undue stress and emotion becoming sensitive and tense, is the brain of the religious mystic and seer. While the former is careless of ordinary affairs, the latter with its "intense desire to reach a higher life overstrains the nerves hence rendering it sensitive to answer vibrations from the subtler planes of being. Then visions and abnormal happenings will occur. The superphysical consciousness finds at least for a brief moment a vehicle sufficiently sensitive to receive and answer to its impulses. The neuropathic brain affords the conditions necessary for the vision that belongs to the superphysical world, to impress itself on the physical consciousness." For those who cry for want of an explanation, I guess this is how the Siddhas and deities come to us too.

If we could say, those are divine acts, we learn from https://hinducorner.com/, that "The ancient rituals performed by priests, through chants, offerings, visualizations, and through continuous self-purification enable the Hindu Temple to be a center of spiritual power," and "A person’s natural vibration changes through habitual thought patterns and actions. This, in turn, affects everything around them, including their aura, their clothes, and physical space." We have now a reason to visit the temples and go on pilgrimages to holy places.

I remember when I went back to visit my neighbors who cooked meals for me when I stayed a few doors away as a bachelor back then, telling me the tenant who moved into the house after I moved out had cited seeing visions of people clad in white. I guess the deities whom I worshipped at dawn and dusk, and angels were still there though I had transferred to the city. If a simple home puja could bring the deities to come and stay around, imagine the possibilities that lie within the high walls of these ancient temples.

In "Inner Worlds, Outer Worlds - Part 1 - Akasha" we are told that "The ancient Vedic teachers taught Nada Brahma, the universe is vibration. The word Nada means sound or vibration. The vibratory field is at the root of all true spiritual experiences and scientific investigations. It is the same field of energy that saints, Buddhas, yogis, mystics, priests, shamans, and seers have observed by looking within themselves. It has been called Akasha, the Primordial Om, .. and a thousand other names throughout history...... In the ancient traditions of the East, it has been understood for thousands of years that all is vibration...You never see anything in its totality because it is made up of layer upon layer of vibration and it is constantly changing, exchanging information with Akasha.... everything is connected to the one vibratory source. ..."

We learn from another source, a synonym for Nada Brahma.

"We can translate the meaning of Nada Brahma as the Sound of the Universe and translate the word Nada as a Sound of vibration and Brahma, the name of God. Brahma is simultaneously the Universe and the creator – the same, like an artist and his art = an inseparable synergy. In one of the first notices of ancient India, it was told that Brahma the creator was sitting on the flower of lotus, opening eyes, and the world became the composition of matter. When Brahma closes his eyes, the world leaves the composition of matter. Meditation practitioners across centuries proved that closing the eyes and moving to the deep level of consciousness exists as a kind of field. It is the field of Akasha, or let’s say the kind of notes of Akasha, that keeps all the Universe’s information. Although, we will never see this field in all its beauty because a high volume of vibrations layers this field. One layer is mixed with another one. These vibrations are all the time changing, communicating information with Akasha. All the experiences of the past, current, and future. Akasha was, is, and will exist forever. From this field, or we can also call it matrices, come all things, starting with subatomic elements and closing with galaxies, stars, planets, and all life. (Source: Joseph Karma at https://www.aboutsmartcities.com/)

We have it coursing through us too. The intensity of this vibration in us varies from person to person. Man or Manithan who is a combination of the Impure Tattvas is actually working towards becoming Punithan or Pure, progressively making his way up to higher states of vibration. It is said that the whole village could sense the arrival of Gautama Buddha. Such was the intensity of his Atma. When the Siddhas came down to be present with us during our Homam only Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar sensed an intense vibration akin to the ground shaking under her seat. She shared this with us not knowing what it was. Agathiyar confirmed a couple of days later in Tavayogi's Jeeva Nadi reading for a devotee that the Siddhas did arrive at our home that day. That vibration was shown and felt only by Mataji. When a devotee asked Agathiyar what his true form was, he told her it was the vibration that coursed through and that they felt while chanting his name, during puja, and in doing charity. 

The transformation that is spoken of and desired by some seekers and desired by the Siddhas that we too should go through, is both on the gross plane and the much more subtle plane. If in the gross it brings us to purify the body turning it from the Asudha Degam to that of Sudha Degam, in the latter it is more of refining, tuning and finally settling in the finer vibrations. 

A man seeking spiritual elevation and emancipation would first have to begin to work on dissolving his past karma and build positive merits and virtues to free himself from the grip of the gross and slowly bring his vibration to a state of purity, subtleness, and fineness. 

Annie Besant draws two distinct divisions to people and their brains namely "The coarser vibrations of the lower world and those adapted to it are one. The others are those who are in the front of evolution and of a subtler nature...The brain has to be changed, refined, improved, its connecting links fashioned and manufactured for the purposes of the expression of the higher consciousness... Here we see a consciousness that shapes bodies according to its needs, gradually refining them and bringing them under the control of the higher." 

As Annie Besant wrote, "Now making the mind steady, holding quiet the powers of the mind, the mind ceases to vibrate, and it becomes still - able to answer the vibrations coming from above", it is in stillness that God speaks. It is the stillness that is the ultimate goal. If it took us to engage in family life, career, seeking, discipleship, and in carrying out puja and charity and finally having to drop them, it only could mean that we had to clear our previous debts in this life and the many previous lives. Once that is done we get the time to sit still doing nothing.  

She continues, "They are waiting, waiting, waiting with tireless patience in order to find someone willing to be taught, and when one human heart opens itself out and says, "O Lord teach me", then the teaching comes down in a stream of divine energy and floods the heart. Unlock the heart and throw away the key and you will find yourselves flooded with a wisdom which is ever waiting to come in."

As Tavayogi told me we should only give according to the vessel, Annie Besant too says, "Never does the spiritual teacher withhold knowledge because he grudges the giving. He is hampered in the giving by the want of receptivity in those to whom his message is addressed."

As Neale Donald Walsch in his book "The Wisdom of the Universe" says God is always speaking and it is only us not listening, "I talk to everyone. All the time. The question is not to whom do I talk, but who listens?", Annie writes, "It is not the withholding of the teacher but the closing of the heart of the hearer; not the hesitation of the teacher but the want of the ear that hears; not the dearth of teachers but the dearth of pupils who are willing and ready to be taught."

Waking away from the hustle and bustle of the city and the crowd and its noise into the confines of the high walls of the temples and monasteries brings us to experience and feel the vibrations prevailing in these places The many chants and prayers that we heard as we visited the temples and holy places with our parents as a child and later with our children helped increase the vibration in us when we walked the phase of Sariyai. The hours we spend in the comfort of our home at our altar or puja room create this atmosphere bringing it within the four walls of our homes. The many chants of mantras and prayers we recited when we were roped into doing the rituals as in Kriyai by our gurus and Siddhas increased these multifold. With their arrival and blessings, it increased further in amplitude. After bringing us to carry out intense activities that involved puja and charity for some seven years, the show ended and the curtain was drawn closed. In sitting alone and watching the breath Agathiyar had us settle down and let go of both the act and the fame that came with it. After three years the sacred space where Agathiyar sat as the bronze statue today is empty today except for an oil lamp burning. But before he left he told us that he would bring down the full intensity of the Prapanjam having given us installments and samples, previews, and trailers of its magnanimity earlier. This Prapanjam that is formless took the form of a devotee and hushed us to say no more bringing us to chant Shanti Shanti Shanti, having us settle in peace with ourselves and the world around us. I guess this is what Ramalinga Adigal did in having him locked in from the outside and immersing himself in the Light away from the madness of the world. I guess I too have to step into that empty room now and immerse myself in the Prapanjam. Bye.

HANG ON

I received the results of the laboratory report this morning of my current health status. I was overjoyed to hear from the doctor that all was well for my age. I give thanks to all the heavenly bodies and all the souls that came into my life as family and friends, physicians, upaguru, and gurus. I had always held the opinion that Agathiyar should keep us well in terms of health and wealth. Only then would others come to the path seeing that we are well and doing good. Let us face it, man is materialistic. He sees gains in terms of monetary flow and well-being. Very few go beyond their possessions, positions, and bodies to look for salvation of the soul. The host of the home where Agathiyar in the form of the bronze statue at AVM moved into, is all smiles after Agathiyar going over. Much good has transpired in their home too in the short time he has been there. We are happy for them. 

All that we were told to do by the Siddhas right from the start was targeted to bring a balance to man's material and spiritual needs in life. It brings balance to the 3 dosas through a proper Sattvic diet, brings balance in the Edai and Pingalai through the practice of Pranayama, and brings good posture and health through the practice of Yoga. If this was targeted at the common man who was comfortable at stopping here, those who sort to follow in the path of the saints and their achievements were given a regime to follow whereby they rid their bodies of accumulated trash and toxins through the consumption of herbal preparations, strengthen their body with further intake of herbs and through Yoga practices, taught to ignite and fan the flame in them and to increase the heat of tapas or tavam or austerities to bring on an internal transformation of the body and soul, the former transforming from the gross becoming more refined to the subtle, and the latter gaining Soul Power or Atma Balam. Fulfillment in perfecting the body, breath, and soul is to have successfully ridden the path of the Siddhas.

Just as only those who have been there and back can bring others there, the Siddhas are here to help our lot. Hang on to them. They shall help us rectify our past by bringing us to do remedies. They bring us to carry out new actions favorable to the stars so that they bring on new hope for the future. They rectify our thinking and perspective lifting us to reach out to higher thoughts and see the larger perspective of life and our purpose here. They bring down the home made of straw to build a fortress in its place. They reassemble our lives bringing us out of caring for the individual self and instead caring for all. They bring us within to know the Self that is veiled. They tie us in matrimony eventually with that which is the personification of love, compassion, and bliss. If I am going someplace it is all because of the Siddhas and my gurus handing me a free flight ticket and making it possible. 

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

In the days when I started worship to the Siddhas in my home alone after reading the Nadi and taking up Agathiyar's call, I used to experience such peace, calm, and bliss that I would come out of the prayer room and tell my wife if only I could pass it on to her with a touch. Later as the puja intensified with many coming over after having their call to come to the path and came to my home to join in our family puja, I went into a similar state when these youngsters began singing songs and bhajan. Songs triggered this bliss. It brought spontaneous loud laughter in me. My wish was granted when Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal came within devotees and took our hands having us stand in a circle. They passed on the bliss to those gathered. Touch triggered the bliss within us. When the Siddhas and deities spoke yet again bliss enveloped us. They had us at times sing a particular song that they would request or have us chant Agathiyar's name or the Arutperunjothi mantra. At times we were not able to carry on singing as tears of joy and bliss choked us. The bliss eventually silenced us. We sat in silence.

The bliss we experienced was a mere fraction of that state of constant bliss that the Siddhas were in for we have seen on several occasions how elated Ramalinga Adigal was getting us to join hands and chanting his favorite mantra. This bliss that came on during these moments of ecstasy has come to stay for good and is constantly surfacing. Just the mention of the divines' names, be it Shiva, Narayana, Krishna, Dewi, Muruga, or Siddha's names too triggers bliss. A sweetness is tasted as we say their very names that reach the very core of our soul. The soul immerses in bliss causing a ripple of vibration that shakes the whole body expanding out and beyond the Self and body. Speaking about the guru brings down and from within immense bliss. The crown of the head vibrates intensely as we become connected with the Prapanjam that houses all.

The famed writer Balakumaran tells us how to identify the true guru. When one enters his presence and all his doubts, queries, and questions that he had subsides on their own, know that you have come to your guru. 

I too believe if we still need explanations and answers, we have not matured enough to receive their silent teachings. I remember the days when I too would sit with others as Tavayogi heard their problems and clarified their doubts and questions. As I had nothing to ask of him I would watch in silence. We never had any conversation in that sense. He was a man of few words unless he took to the stage to preach the path. Now I understand why Agathiyar told me that he was the true guru for me. As Balakumaran says I was silent in his presence. 

This very important component was depicted in the movie "Saguni" in an amusing manner where when the guru spoke, all those present carried on speaking too. No one was listening to what he had to say. Along come a couple of youngsters who sell their marketing plan and repackage his approach. They advised him to zip up. It worked like magic as now the crowd is waiting in eagerness for the guru to open his mouth and speak to them or open his eyes to look at them or call them to his side. It was indeed a sound piece of advice. Food for thought. 

Tavayogi too told me to give where it shall be received well. I understood not to shed this precious treasure on the road only to be trampled by the blind (the unawakened). His words, "Give to only those who deserve to hear" still ring a bell. Like Balakumaran I too share his sadness that there are not many takers. I guess that is the reason Agathiyar had me write so that it would have a farther reach. Please do not mistake me. I am writing not to blow my horn. I would love readers to take up the path, experiment, experience, and partake in the ambrosia. I am not starting a following here. Neither do I want to take on the role of a guru offered by Agathiyar. Though my experiences are not much to shout about, it is overwhelming by all means to this tiny person. There are many who have seen bigger things but chose not to reveal or share. They should pardon me. 

As for the bitter and painful experiences I have shared of us and others, though we would love to only hold the good and happy memories, it is much needed I believe to bring faith and hope to those who are currently going through hell. As we are told in the movie "Penguin Bloom" to never give up, Agathiyar too tells us not to give up. Once we give up no one can save us not even the Gods for they respect the souls wanting to leave and release them of their sufferings. 

THE PRAPANJAM HEALS

In the movie "Penguin Bloom" a child does a simple permutation and calculation and questions the odds of her mother falling off a building and becoming paralyzed from the hip down while on vacation in Thailand. The children wanted to go to Disneyland but the parents decided otherwise. Noah hates herself for bringing her mother upstairs to show her something. "Over 20 million people holiday in Thailand every year. That's 20 million other people this could have happened to. That 40 million other hands that could have touched that fence. A fence that was 15 years old. 5475 other days it could have broken. But it waited for Mum."

So did my daughter ask me "Why me, dad?" when a car hit her while riding a pillion while in college. How would I explain? How would I explain when my other daughter was found to have retina detachment? Why her? My wife has had her fair share of undergoing pain and surgery. How do I explain? If it was someone else I guess they would have left the faith, left the path. But my wife and children were strong. They never lost their faith in Agathiyar. Tavayogi told us never to ask for problems and troubles to go away. Instead, ask to be given the strength to face them. We know that the worst could have happened but Agathiyar had cushioned it. My daughter could walk after 9 months without having any operation to mend her fractured leg. The other daughter was attended to by the doctors immediately and her eyesight was saved. My wife survives without a gallbladder. 

The Divine does answer our prayers. When I was suffering from lower back pain for some three years I came to know only much later that the Muladhara was activated and its dormant energy awakened from its deep sleep as a result of the Yogic practice that Tavayogi gave which I diligently practiced, Dr. Krishnan a Siddha practitioner ruled out kidney problems and stones, but asked me to go for an X-ray to ensure it was not a slipped disk. The doctors gave me a clean bill of health though they did ask me to undergo physiotherapy twice a week which brought much relief. It was torture getting out of bed to go to work as my whole body ached. And to think that a normal practice of clearing my throat while in the bath upon awakening triggered the pull in my lower back right down to the toes in my right leg that day. Asking Agathiyar in the Nadi, he explained, that which we failed to see. It was rather subtle in nature. He prescribed several herbs. Dr.Jana, Shanga, Master Arunan, Master Uva, and Balamurugan came to my aid administering their skills. One day the physiotherapist asked me to do the 5 exercises that she had me do at home, before her. Just as I got into position the pain left bringing on a loud cry of joy and instant relief. It was as if a knot was opened. When the pain struck again 6 years later in 2018, as a sneeze came on while crossing a street, Lord Muruga came simultaneously in the Nadi and through a devotee to heal my back. If initially, I did not know if my problems arose because of some medical problems, my age, or the transformation going on in me, later I braced myself and understood that all these were part of the process of undergoing subtle internal transformation. I began to take things in my stride though at times the thought of seeking some relief crops up in my mind. And so just sometime back when a friend came over to my home before heading to the home of an Indonesian known to give body massages for ailments for his second treatment, it did occur to me if I should follow him for a massage too. When a Siddha practitioner told me the next time I was going for a mountain hike to stop by so that he could massage and prepare my limbs for the hike, it did occur to me if I should take up the offer. But as Dr.Krishnan looking through my horoscope had mentioned to me to never "give" my body to others, and Agathiyar came some time back and said not to have anyone touch my head, I held back the thought. But as we were handed over to Prapanjam by Agathiyar, she came in an unexpected way, coming within a devotee and gently ran her fingers over me and fulfilled this wish. A rush of energy came into my head and filled my upper torso with a wonderful sensation that reverberated in the soul. It was literally uplifting as I could not stay on my feet. 

The divine is listening to us. It sends out its emissaries, guardian angels, deities, and Gods to attend to our needs in the most trying times. It is just that we do not see nor want to acknowledge their presence and their work. How does it listen? Does it have a face and other features just like us? No. It is its creation that gives it feedback and it works miracles through its creations too.

THE PHASES ON THE PATHWAY TO GOD

The path to transformation from man to a divine man and to other states is of many phases. What better mentor can we find to show us the phases if not Ramalinga Adigal who has been there and back. G.Valmikanathan traces Ramalinga Adigal’s brilliant journey on the pathway to God and these phases in his book ‘Makers of Indian Literature - Ramalingam’, published by Sahitya Akademi (e-book at http://www.vallalar.org).

The first phase is that of the purgative way, and the next according to Ramalinga Adigal, the illuminative way, and finally the unitive way. Valmikanathan describes the first part of the saint's life as that of the journey on the purgative way, where he embarks on the journey, worshiping Lord Murugan in Chennai and Thirutani, Lord Siva, and Vadivudai Ambigai in Otriyore, and Lord Nadarajah in Chidambaram, purging himself of all desires and attachments, of all imperfections. 

When Tavayogi said that our effort was only necessary until we arrived at the Svathisthana Chakra, I did not understand then. He tells us that from here on the Siddhas will pick us up and lead us on. For this to take place many things have to happen first and take place or come into place. For instance, Agathiyar in the Nadi spoke about our karma and gave means and ways to rectify, exhaust, or erase them in their entirety. Next we we asked to worship the Siddhas since we have come to walk their path. The Siddhas who are forerunners then pass on their immense knowledge and share and teach the practices that they did that elevated them to their state to us. Following diligently and with discipline we shall see results. They correct our diet, stream our thoughts, make us fit, cleanse our internals, and bring a transformation within preparing the body to withstand the energies that are to be activated within. When the house is set right, and the body is strengthened by taking certain herbs or kaya kalpam for this purpose, the energies are released. The Muladhara is activated. The energies travel till Svathisthana. After that as Tavayogi says it is no more our effort but the will of the divine energy. Our efforts seize and we are totally dependent on God's grace to move further. Here it begins to pond or retain for most of us including me. The guru has to break the bund and let the waters out. As for me, Agathiyar did it. When I asked him what I should do next he replied "Do Nothing. It will do its work." 

The journey in the illuminative way begins, in which one gains illumination, and gnosis and where one gains the knowledge or Arivu to differentiate right from wrong and to see the world and its happenings from a different perspective. The dawn of Gnanam follows where nothing is learned but all is perceived. This comes directly from the Prapanjam. 

For the next phase and to know and understand and get a glimpse of it, we have to look up to Ramalinga Adigal again who has had the experience and sung about it in his Agaval. The journey on the unitive way is where we see results. The transformation takes place rapidly without our doing. God gifts us a body that can sustain his majestic presence. He personally sees through the necessary transformation. 

G.Vanmikanathan in his "Pathway to God Trod by Saint Ramalingar", Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan, Bombay, writes, 

"... crossing the threshold of the Unitive Way where God with name and form will disappear and where ultimately the worshiper and the worshiped, the seeker and the sought, the soul and the Godhead, will merge into each other."

"In the last song ("Thiruchchitrambala Theivamani Maalai") we see the budding of the concept of Arut-Perum-Jothi, the Great Effulgence of Grace, for the first time in our Swaamikal’s spiritual life....this is the first gleam of the concept of the rare great effulgence which will burst forth in a paean of praise of 1596 lines when our Swaamikal steps on to the last lap of the journey on the Unitive Way."

"Our Swaamikal is now ready for the highest of all possible acts of grace, the crowning glory of the long years of thavam. The conferment of the Effulgence of Grace. The Lord, out of His munificent grace, bestowed on our Swaamikal the very power by which He Himself exercised sovereignty over all the worlds. That power is the Great Effulgence of Grace. This state is achieved not by one's efforts but by the grace of the Lord who speaks, first verbally then silently."

Ramalinga Adigal could have headed back "home" but he stayed back to help our lot, carrying out the dictates of God.

"The Swaamikal was modesty incarnate. He did not like the limelight before which he was exposed to the world. After having gained all the Siddhis and attained the highest possible state, a man of such stature, Ramalinga Adigal chose to stay away from the limelight but the Lord acted otherwise. The Son of Man has become the Son of God, and he who was unknown and who did not want to be known was dragged much against his will to discharge his preordained mission on earth, to commence his ministry on earth, in order to establish the Pure Universal True Path to God, a path, a religion, based on compassion towards all creatures on earth, a religion based on intense and one-pointed love of God, a religion freed from the stifling influences of caste, country, race, language, conflicting creeds, petty cruel gods and inhuman sacrifices, freed from the dialectics of learned scriptures. He (God) spoke to Raamalinga Swaamikal who was the chosen Son of God in the nineteenth century to establish a universal brotherhood of man freed of all shackling fetters of castes and creeds, of rich and poor, of black or white, a universal brotherhood born of a sense of oneness in the eyes of God and based on compassion, on compassion alone."

Just like God pushed Ramalinga Adigal into the limelight, Agathiyar asked Tavayogi to postpone his intent to go into samadhi and start an ashram at Agathiyar Vanam in Kallar and come over to Malaysia later. Agathiyar had me postpone my desire to "leave" too, as he told me that he had just one more thing for me to do. I wonder what it is? 

SITTING STILL, WAITING PATIENTLY

As we stepped out of the hotel in Trichy to go on our next phase of tours to the caves and jungles of the Pothigai mountain ranch in 2005, after visiting Agasthiyampalli on the coastline a day earlier, Tavayogi told me "Only now the true journey begins my son!" In writing about our walks together, if my intention was to pay back for the courtesy, love and care, guidance, and hope Tavayogi had in me, it also paved the way for many to get in touch with me including the Siddhas and the deities. My home became the residence of the Siddhas and deities. He sent many after their Nadi reading to my home to watch and participate in the pujas my family and I did. He brought us to engage in charity too. He then brought it all to a halt as all good things have to end too. I was freed. He made sure I was not known except to a few. 

If initially, I had to depend on another to read the Nadi to hear Agathiyar speak, in coming through me he began to speak to others and occasionally have a message for me too that is relayed to me later by those gathered. Soon he came through other devotees telling me that he would perform games of Siddhis or Siddhu Vilayaathu through them henceforth and speak words of wisdom through me. Then he told me later that he would not come through me anymore. I was freed. 

Asking us to go within by watching our breath he kept us in isolation and solitude. When I asked him what was I to do, he answered "Do nothing" implying that the breath or Vaasi would do its work. 

It was sometime last year that he asked that I share the transformations and inner experiences that I was beginning to have rather than sing his praise in this blog. He added, "It shall let others keen to see the light know what they have to go through." When he released a flood of energies that paralyzed me from my head down for some moments and he came to explain what had taken place later through a devotee, I asked him what was I to do. Agathiyar replied, "Do Nothing". "IT" will do its work. 

The next time he told me to do nothing was when he elevated me to the role of a guru, telling me that the time was right as I had gained Atma Balam or Soul Power. When I asked him what was I to do since now he had given me a huge responsibility, he replied "Do nothing", pointing me to Tavayogi, and asking me what did he do? He asked me to emulate Tavayogi.  As I could never sit doing nothing he sent several new seekers and asked me to take them in telling me that I was to be their guru. 

Then he freed me of the task of looking after his bronze statue by moving into the home of another devotee not before he brought down the Prapanjam as he had promised. Today his room is empty except for an oil lamp. There is no chanting of mantra, recitation of the names of Siddhas, singing songs of praise to the Siddhas, no Bhajans, no Satsangs, no gatherings, and no celebrations. He had relieved me from all the duties that he gave me. He had released me of all these only to free me. 

Knowing Agathiyar, rather than preparing me or having me forwarned or ready and prepared for new tasks or the job, he always gives me the task and job and asks me to fit into it. Although I stated to him that I was not keen to take it up, just as I had rejected several other askings and offers and gifts in the past too, I guess he did this just to have me while my time while waiting for the right time to reveal my purpose here. He has something up his sleeves. I believe that Agathiyar will reveal my new tasks in good time. 

"Just as Mother Teresa had an initial calling and a calling within a calling later asking her to serve "the hungry, naked, the homeless, the crippled, the blind, the lepers, and all those who feel unwanted, unloved, uncared for, and a throwaway of society", I believe another journey within a journey is ready to take off for me too. 

THE JOURNEY

Though it is said that all paths lead to the same place one must tread on a path to actually arrive at the destination. One has to start a journey to arrive there. Similarly, we had already taken a journey prior to arriving here. The soul started a journey to arrive here at its second and third home. The soul journeyed into the body. At the same time, the Prana Sakthi or Pranic energy from both parents traveled with the cells from each parent and helped shape and transform a fertilized egg which is a single-cell zygote into a morula, a berry-like structure made up of 16 cells. Becoming a blastocyst, which is the size of a pinhead, it is further composed of hundreds of cells. It further takes different forms and names becoming an embryo and a fetus, taking on the first signs of life, and finally a baby, in the womb of the mother which becomes its second home. It then comes into this world that is its third home taking a birth. It lives a life according to the karma baggage it brought with it from the past. Though the past karma does determine his or her present state he or she has the freedom to shape and transform their life to what they desire. He could exhaust his karma here by engaging in several acts and stop the cycle of taking on more karma by his inaction or acting out only the soul's will which is God's will too. When this Prana count that is brought with him is exhausted he leaves the body on another journey, that of death. The soul Jeeva Atma having gained the experiences it came to have and enlightened further, eventually returns to its source, the soul of the Prapanjam, the Param Atma. The individual soul does this numerous times taking numerous bodies to fulfil its wish to have a myriad of experiences and learning from them. Finally attaining a state of Puranam or completeness or satisfaction settles in the Param as a wise soul, a Siddha or a Rishi, and guides other souls. If need be they too take a human birth again for a noble cause. 

While here in his third home, he takes on the faith of his parents. Traveling along when he has learned and gained knowledge and experience, he is at liberty to decide whether to remain on the path chosen and followed by his parents or to go his way to discover for himself one or many of the paths available. For some, the divine comes as a guru or an inner yearning or as a memory of his past life that draws and pulls him to a certain path or a place or a master where his journey continues further. Rather than have me sit with many and hear his discourses, I was blessed to have Tavayogi literally walk me on the path of the Siddhas. I wonder how many have had this opportunity to walk with the master. I am where I am today because of my gurus. He was different from others. Why was he different? He gave me the liberty and freedom to experiment, experience, and learn and not follow blindly his teachings or those of the Siddhas. Rather than mold me into his image or have me adopt and follow a strict regime he gave me total freedom just as he told me that the Atma must be free to fly and should never be caged. So this journey is to free the soul that has been imprisoned by our ego and rid us of false notions and opinions gathered with time. This comes with the coming of a guru in the physical form who draws the veils, curtains, and blinds that blind us from seeing our very soul that has gone into oblivion within our hearts. This is beautifully depicted by the act of drawing the curtain at the inner sanctum of temples and having us see the divine under the light of the flame or Arati.

Just as Tavayogi gave me freedom, those who frequented AVM were free to do as pleased though it was a home, my home, that became Agathiyar's home and home to the Siddhas and deities later, and is now home to Prapanjam. We never had codes of practice to observe nor laid rules and regulations to adhere to. We never obstructed anyone from coming over or entering be they strangers or friends. We never asked them if they were vegetarians. We allowed everyone present to sit in the rituals or carry them out. This was observed by a devotee of many years and only highlighted to me recently. He was elated and told me that AVM was the only place where Agathiyar embraced one and all irrespective of race, religion, language, and caste. No one was driven away. He also added that "Agathiyar who embraced us slowly changed us." He had transformed them not radically or by force or having them submit to the rules, code, and discipline, but with love, compassion, and affection in due time. 

PLEASE LISTEN UP

If Agathiyar is the Prapanjam then he should be impartial and unbiased right? If Prapanjam is the mother to all of creation would a mother favor a child and ignore another? Would she see someone as special as I wrote in the previous post? I myself would reject her if she favored one over another. Just as the doctor attends to those having difficulty in breathing, in extreme pain and bleeding first before attending to other less critical cases, Prapanjam hears the pain and cry of her children and comes rushing to them while not ignoring the others who just watch or might even be disbelieving in her existence. Prapanjam still cares for them and takes care of their needs.   

In "Heaven is for Real" it took some convincing to have people believe that a 4-year-old was in heaven and saw Jesus. We are all so cooked up and hooked to statistics and figures, logic, and scientific explanations that we refuse to see miracles happen before our eyes. I was disappointed when a Siddha physician failed to see the miracle or rather the divine hand that actually held me back from climbing the steps of Palani temple on my very first visit. I had to lift my legs with my hands and place them on each step and slowly I took a step at a time as my legs suddenly became heavy, as heavy as a log or concrete. He did not see the divine play here but rather thought that I was not fit to climb even after I explained that I had taken time to train in climbing before my departure. Maybe some people never choose to see the miracle. 

All of creation is a miracle. Our body that is the closest to us is a miracle that we ignore each day. Life that is given to us is a miracle that we take for granted. The breath that flows in us, the heat that keeps us alive, the water that is in us, and all the other tattvas that keep us alive is a miracle. The story of birth right from conceiving to delivery and growing up is a miracle. The sun and the solar system is a miracle. Have we ever taken a moment to ask who would have created these amazing life-giving, life-sustaining, and life-saving creations? Well, my granddaughter of 6 years did. She asked when and what was the first illness known to man that made him sick after she went through a bout of Hand-foot-and-mouth disease recently. Then she asked her mother how God came about? My daughter when she was younger asked Tavayogi what was the Atma sitting on his lap. When these questions are asked by children why are not adults looking for these answers. It is because we have taken life for granted. Seeing deaths taking place each day yet we believe that life is forever. The Siddhas tell us that we come with a certain number of breaths. When we exhaust the number we die. An extension is possible by carrying out Pranayama. A further extension is possible when we engage in transforming the body and its cells. The Siddhas saw the body as a wonder and took extra care of it. Sadly my Siddha physician friend tells me that many come to him when things go wrong. They never took care of their body. The Siddhas are trying hard to bring man back on track. If only he would listen.

TROUBLE TROUBLE GO AWAY

I used to wonder how my life would have turned out if it was not for Agathiyar's entry. I would be following others making it a point to drop in at the temples on Tuesdays and Fridays and other auspicious days if only for my children's sake, for I was given an order by Lord Shiva to keep all my questions to a later date when I was cooked up in the agamas, religions, customs, and traditions, to the point that I might have become an atheist or gone cuckoo over the inconsistency and lack of answers from the learned, the texts and God himself. It was God who saved me that day, in 1988, asking me to take a break. It ended up being a very long break indeed. 

There was I happily going about with my job that I loved doing and my small family that I loved equally. When Agathiyar came, my family followed behind in his worship and many others came by. While some left, many stayed. We became the AVM family as my home came to be known as Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia. Though it was his Vanam or garden, Agathiyar made sure that the place was off the map. Since 2019 all the activities carried out in the past at AVM have come to a standstill including puja, charity, Satsang, and gatherings. Everyone went, their way. Those whose lives were touched by Agathiyar still come over. Today it remains open for these exclusive few to come together and sing his praise and share their stories and miracles.

Watching her life depicted and portrayed in the movie, "Letters from Mother Teresa", we learn that "To her, she was just a servant of God. God using her nothingness for his greatness." Thus "Mother Teresa had requested letters she wrote be destroyed fearing that, to quote her, "When the beginning will be known people will think more of me and less of Jesus." I recall how Tavayogi destroyed my joy the day I invited him to my home so that I would not revel him but instead take hold of Agathiyar. 

Watching her story and following Tavayogi's life, I understood that in doing good, the "other side" comes to tear apart all the good we do or obstruct the good being done. Tavayogi had a fair share of problems and troubles in his missionary work. When Agathiyar was bound for Malaysia, he told me that he had to tear down obstacles to arrive at my home, which pretty much surprised me. When Tavayogi asked me to fetch water for the libation of Lord Ganapathi's statue before starting the Siddha puja that was requested by his guru Chitramathu Adigal, put forth to Agathiyar and that was read in the Jeeva Nadi in the possession of Tavayogi for a devotee, he asked me to have someone accompany me for he said that the "other side" shall sabotage us. I was puzzled but did as told.

Our problems would not go away I suppose. As Mother Teresa recites the peace prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi, which was written some 400 -500 years ago at the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony, she says that it was very much relevant in her times too. "And you know I always wondered if 400-500 years ago when Saint Francis of Assisi composed the prayer that they had the same difficulties as we have today because it is very fitting for us also."

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand,

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

(Source: https://www.cathedralstm.org/)

I think no one can fit into her shoes. She is indeed a saint.

THE MIGHT OF THE SIDDHAS

The Siddha Path was created as they began their walk, exploring and learning, practicing and experiencing, the traits of life and its association with nature and their surroundings. What they realized was documented and passed on to close ones and came within the reach of society later. Over the years the path was cemented, and defined, and blueprints and handouts were given. It was not to be the case. Each traveler shall discover, learn, and experience for himself. Agathiyar tells us that only the means and methods that were tested and proven were passed on to us to kickstart and jumpstart our journey. But we are given the liberty to test, modify, and enhance its beauty. We are given the freedom to work on it further just like how the Siddhas freely change fate and destiny and create miracles.  

We are special in the eyes of Agathiyar. When the public holds on to some opinion or negative perceptions, presents case histories or stories that they had heard and read or experienced to support their theories, and tries to stuff them onto us, instilling worries and fear in us, be assured that Agathiyar would not desert us. We are special to him. All the above said might have taken place to others but not us. Even if it happens to us Agathiyar would be there to change the outcome and make it favorable to us. We are special to him.

When a Chinese lady walked crying into the room of a Nadi reader telling us that she was facing immense pressure and torture from an individual at the office, Agathiyar asked her for a grace period of 10 days to solve her problem. He did it in three days. She was special. 

Though a devotee had to wait some seven hours in the emergency room in a government hospital, and her son was angry, fuming, and making a fuss, once she was warded, everything took place in a jiffy. She was operated on and a stent was placed in her overnight. She was special indeed.

When my wife was waiting to be brought to another hospital over a weekend many years back to have her gall bladder removed, the waiting that could easily take some 10 days according to those already waiting in line, was cut short to three days by the timely intervention of a senior doctor. She was special. 

When my daughter had an open fracture of her right leg after a road accident many years ago, the events that unfolded were all Agathiyar's doing. The doctor at the emergency room suggested letting nature do the healing as she was only twenty then. Upon asking that she return as soon as possible to complete her internship, listening to our plea he suggested placing an external fixator that should have her back on her feet within weeks. But another senior doctor who came on his rounds at the wards called both me and my wife and asked us to reconsider our request. He agreed with the earlier doctor who had originally suggested letting nature do its work. But after four months as there was no new cell growth, another doctor told us that he had to place a titanium plate. But by the grace of Agathiyar, he also suggested another alternative that can be performed under local anesthetic, ACP that "provides efficient concentration of platelets and growth factors from platelet-rich plasma for use at the patient’s point of care." We opted for the second. (Source:https://www.colliersportsmedicine.com). We were overjoyed to see new cell growth within days. She was special. 

When my other daughter was diagnosed as having retina detachment in a private eye care center, the doctor immediately referred us to specialists in a government hospital. She was immediately operated on and got to retain her eyesight. She was special. 

When she came down with dengue, Agathiyar conveyed a message to us in a Nadi reading that Surendran was having in Chennai telling us that both he and Tirumular were at her bedside and had increased the platelet count. She was special. 

Dr Krishnan who charted my horoscope and gave predictions in the nineties told me that I was blessed in the sense that any danger or harm that comes my way would be avoided by the grace of the divine. Instead, if it was karma-related, I would have to see some financial losses. I would rather lose money than life. 

In the movie "Finding You" the following is written on a tombstone: "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid. Don't be discouraged." These words ring a bell as it was told to  Jnana Jothiamma by Agathiyar in her Nadi reading. As she was worried that she could either be fined, face immediate deportation, or even get banned from entering India as she had overstayed due to her body condition that was going through a drastic transformation within, with the Siddhas monitoring and dispensing and administering Siddha medicine in the confines of her room, how was she to relay this matter to the embassy without a proper medical certificate? Agathiyar seeing her dilemma told her not to worry and that he shall go ahead and await her at the embassy. He kept to his word. Everything was settled amicably and she got to stay. She was special.

Indeed we are all special in his eyes since we are his children. Agathiyar who told us that he was the Prapanjam came within a devotee just days ago. When I asked that she grant others too whatever I have received from her, she hushed me telling me that she shall take care of her children. We are all her children. She knows what is necessary to be done for her children's growth, education and careers, health, and posterity. 

We saw Agathiyar's hands in all of these miracles. Now I understand why Tavayogi, brushing away troubles, law suites, sabotage, and dangers was firm in his stand telling us to leave it to Agathiyar. 

So when Agathiyar showers his grace on us should not we give back to him? How best can we repay his kindness, compassion, and love? Did he save us and keep saving us each time we call out for him just to go back and do the same kinds of stuff we did in the past? Should not we turn over a new leaf and surrender to his will thenceforth? 

CHARTING THE PATH

Many masters whom I had either come across, read, or heard about have gone into oblivion. I wonder what happened to them. His Master's Voice is only heard if the disciple keeps his teachings alive and the flame burning. Just like civilizations that were buried or wiped off the face of the earth, they and their teachings go with them otherwise.

I had prayed at the temples and my family altar as a kid. Taking up prayers later as a bachelor, I had the liberty to pick the pictures and worship these Gods. There is a vast selection of deities that we could pray to. There is a myriad of paintings to choose from and frame and worship. The choice was entirely ours. I conducted worship with the guidance of a book on home worship written by Siva Sri Muthukumara Sivachariyar. Why did I start conducting puja? I do not know. I guess I had so much time on my hands that I turned to worship to occupy my time.  I was in my twenties then. My aggressive engagement in an elaborate home puja twice a day at dawn and dusk for some 8 years came to an end abruptly when Lord Shiva came in a dream and asked me to pull the brakes on all the questions I carried in my head that clouded and confused me. I would have gone cuckoo if not for the timely intervention of the divine hand. Seeing reality and what I read and was told did not sync. I was confused and angry. Taking the cue from Lord Shiva, I dropped all reading, discussion, and worship. A 14-year period of hibernation followed. It was a cooling-off period. 

A devotee friend asked recently what I did during those years. I replied that I got married. I raised a family. I attended to work and family. I had neither ideals nor ambitions. I turned a vegetarian overnight. Why did I drop taking meat? I do not know. It just happened. 

Just as one breaks the fast, the period of abstinence was broken when my nephew came by passing me a mantra that came through his Paramaguru in Samadhi. He told me to recite it as it would prepare me to meet my guru. I came to know several years later that the message and the mantra were from Agathiyar. True to what he said I read the Nadi the following year and Agathiyar besides telling me that he was my Moola guru also hinted that I shall meet my guru in physical form when I least expect. Indeed I met Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai the following year on the pretext of charting the horoscope for my second daughter. Just as I was about to leave for the airport my wife requested that while I am in India I  get her horoscope drawn. Agathiyar in her Nadi reading several years later told me that my second daughter was the reason I came to his path. My present family was at Papanasam in a former birth. My daughter would feed Agathiyar's granite statue at the temple with fruits as me and my wife were fruit peddlers then. So it looks like I came to both this path and the guru due to my daughter. 

A year of reciting the Vasudeva mantra gave rise to the day of reckoning when I came to read the Nadi. Agathiyar spoke about karma. I understood why things had to happen. I understood that this was the moment Lord Shiva had asked that I wait to have my questions answered. Agathiyar took me into his arms. Since I had nothing on my hands and nothing to do, he gave me his picture and a booklet of names of Siddhas to recite and worship. I was back into carrying out worship and prayer adding on the Siddhas to my former list. The many books on Siddhas that I purchased and read saw me compile a compendium of songs in praise of the Siddhas for my home use. I began to blog moving away from hosting several websites. I shared my travels to India and the moments of meeting my gurus. I shared videos of the puja we carried out in our homes on YouTube. Agathiyar continued to speak through the Nadi on puja and yoga. With the coming of Tavayogi, I was officially initiated into both. Both Agathiyar and Tavayogi did not lay down any rules but gave me full freedom to express and execute both. I began to explore further. I adapted what was suitable for my puja and practice. Both Agathiyar and Tavayogi introduced me to rituals to go with the recitation of the names of the Siddhas, and charity and feeding that brought out compassion and love towards others in us besides helping clear the path of obstacles. We are told that giving alms and food and doing service to fellow humans and other beings is a great and noble act. 

Wishing to see Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal and voicing this desire to Tavayogi, he asked me if that was what I wanted, making me realize that it was not the goal.  Asking us what we wanted and thinking that serving him was the goal in this birth and other births to come, and voicing this desire to him, Agathiyar asked me if that was what I wanted, making me realize that it was not the goal. Thinking then that we should be asking for Gnanam as Tavayogi always says, voicing this desire to Agathiyar, he asked me if that was what I wanted, making me realize that it was not the goal. Anyway, he added that Gnanam was not something he gifted but that which we have to earn traveling the journey within the chakras and arriving at the crown chakra. He kept moving the goalpost with each step we took. Later it dawned on me that to sing the praise of the guru was the thing to desire. Agathiyar endorsed it. I felt contented that I was on the right track. During a rare moment of silence, it dawned on me that to gain admission into their Thurukootam or assembly was what we should seek. Ramalinga Adigal came to endorse it as true. There you have it. The path rather than laid out before us, charted beautifully to carry along, and for us to follow, apparently appears before us as we take each step. I guess this is true of horoscopes too. Rather than being a dead piece of notation, it is rather much alive. With our input, it changes constantly for the better with every act of goodwill and for the worse with bad deeds. Our destiny then is in our hands though we cannot do much about the fate that is written in stone. But if the Siddhas desire they can hurl the stone to the ground and break it into a thousand pieces and reassemble our lives anew. The experience of treading the path brings us to realize our oneness with the Siddhas. Ultimately the Siddhas are the Prapanjam too. The Prapanjam eventually embraces us. 

LENDING AN EAR

In the opening scene of the movie "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood," a question is posed by Lloyd Vogel who writes for a magazine.

"Why do we write for magazines for a living? Honestly because doing anything else doesn't seem quite like living at all. We get a front-row seat to history. We get to expose the truth that others cannot see. And sometimes, just sometimes, we get to change a broken world with our words." 

I love the last part.

 Lloyd interviews Fred Rogers, the host of a children's program.

"It seems like all these people line up to tell you their problems."

"Oh, isn't it wonderful? Such bravery."

"Well, it seems like that would be an incredible burden on you."

"I'm grateful for you saying that Llyod. I am grateful for your compassion."

"Is it a burden on you?"

"There is no normal life that is free from pain."

It reminds me of my dilemma when strangers walked up to my home and spoke about their problems and how difficult it was for me to go on listening. When I saw it as a burden Agathiyar reprimanded me. He asked me where would I go if he were to shut his ears? He wanted me to listen to others' problems. But I was in a dilemma since Tavayogi had told me to send them to Agathiyar. What should I do? Who should I listen to? My daughter made me realize that he was listening to others through me when she shared how sick her friend was with me. She had also shared about how Agathiyar healed many and had asked her friend to come by. My daughter believes that though her friend did not come around for a healing Agathiyar heard and had her admitted to a hospital that managed to treat her problem. She has recovered well and has settled down in marriage. 

"How do you deal with it?"

"Oh, there are many ways. You can deal with your feelings without hurting yourself or anybody else."

"Yeah like what?"

"Well, you can pound a lump of clay or swim as fast as you can swim or play the lowest keys on the piano all at the same time."

"Do you talk to anybody about the burden you carry?"

Fred imitates playing the lowest keys on the piano all at the same time.

This movie was a lesson on anger management for me. I had a boss at the office who would not argue back but would fetch his briefcase and leave the office. He believed the tension subsides when we leave the scene. It is always the response that triggers our anger further. We are not enemies. No one is. It is just that when we do not see eye to eye with one another we become enemies. A fight almost always starts with a difference in opinion. If we can accept somebody's way of life or opinion we are friends otherwise we are enemies.

My granddaughters love me for what I am. If the elder one used to ask me to the extent of begging me to play with her when she was younger, now the second one is doing the same. The older is 6 and the younger is 3. I quipped the other day that she did not respect me for my age. "I am 63 and you are three," I told her. They have me crawl under the blanket and play out Wolf and the Piglets, Wolf and the Lambs, and play out many more stories. But it gives us a feeling of being wanted. They shall grow up very soon into young ladies and have no time for us. As it is the elder speaks less these days as she has gone to school and met new friends. In the past, all the friends they had were the many soft toys that they gave names to, and of course, the grandfather who played with them.

Fred Roger has a message for those who cannot leave eating meat. 

"Are you a vegetarian?"

"I just can't imagine eating anything with a mother."

Another message that came across in this movie was that my neighbor helped me become who I am. My enemies helped me become what I am. My friends and family shaped me.

Maybe sharing these wonderful thoughts brought to the silver screen in these writings would go some way to change a broken world as Lloyd says or mend a broken heart or might change the broken world of some readers. Anyway, I am glad to continue writing as I have nothing else to do these days. I chauffeur my daughter to work and fetch her back twice a week. I hardly go out the rest of the week except to drop in on my grandchildren or buy some groceries. Life has been good to me. Thank you for listening to me. 

TO BELIEF OR NOT TO BELIEF

Savithri the wife of Pandey in the movie "Mohalla Assi" consoles him in his darkest moments as he regrets his in ability to fight inflation and the rising prices and his inaction in letting poverty take the upper hand. She tells him "I never read the Ramcharitra Manas for attaining something in return. The Ramcharitra Manas gives me the strength to fight. That's why I keep reading it. I never prayed to Lord Ram to protect me from sorrows and problems, but yes, I always prayed to give us the strength to fight. Just watch dear, we will fight against this problem as well."

She echoes the words of Tavayogi. Tavayogi too told us that we should not pray to have our problems and sufferings go away but to give us the strength to fight and overcome them. He often tells us to leave it to Agathiyar to take care. The Siddhas give us the strength to stand upright in the face of misery. They also teach us to stand our ground. In all my four trips to India, I only covered a small part of Tamilnadu, first in 2003 to carry out remedies at temples that Agathiyar listed in my Nadi reading: then in 2005 to Kallar ashram, and places that Tavayogi took me, a diversion from the famed temples that had become tourist spots to the deeper regions of Tamilnadu into its jungles and caves: in 2013 to more places that Tavayogi took me and my family; and in 2016 to attend the Kumbhabhisegam of his new ashram besides visiting other temples en route with the AVM family. When I refused to budge and move even after Agathiyar invited me to more places in the years that followed, to meet other gurus and get their blessings, promising me treasures and gifts in the places I was told to visit, solely for the reason that I had him and Tavayogi, he refrained from speaking about these further. I asked him to bring me the wonders, gifts, and blessings that he mentioned would be mine in coming over to these places, within my humble home and the tiny puja room instead. He did just that. He brought the Siddhas with him. He brought Ramalinga Adigal with him. He brought the Gods with him. In fact, Lord Siva told us that the reason he was because Agathiyar was here. Though I had never been to North India, the most compassionate father brought the holy Ganga and drenched me in its holy waters. If Agathiyar brought the Ganga down, Ramalinga Adigal brings the Prapanjam down. 

Could a bronze statue gain weight after libation or the ceremonial bath? Could a granite statue and a bronze statue open its eyes? Could the Siddhas come through devotees and speak like the village deities? Do they dine with us? Do they occupy our homes to take a rest or meditate? Is it possible for portals to exist in temples and holy spots? Is it possible to create these in our homes? How do we answer all these and more questions? How could all these be possible? Am I cooking up stories? Is it my hallucination as a Medical Officer asked me? When Brian Cox in BBC Earth's "Adventures in Space and Time (S1)" tells us that "Voyager 1 is so far away that it takes the signal around 15 hours to arrive traveling at the speed of light", these Siddhas interact in real time! It can only mean that contrary to the common belief that they are on a distant planet or space or dimension, they are very much close by.

When the whole world was engrossed in watching and following the state of the moon the past few days as it generated hype on social media, I asked myself when was the last time these people saw the moon or stars or even the sun? When was the last time they looked at the sky and the clouds? It needs a "miracle" or an unusual phenomenon to create and bring attention to it. 

The bedrock of all these miracles is belief, faith, and devotion. First, we need to believe in it and to allow acceptance of the unseen and mystical to take a foothold. Then we need to have faith that these miracles are possible. Next with intense devotion, Prapanjam accommodates our wants and shows miracles. If the guru comes to sow the belief in us, the efforts and practice we place strengthen the faith. With devotion comes their grace that turns the table around. Miracles then shower. This blog is full of stories of miracles. Go ahead and read them to be convinced. 

BEING A SIDDHA

I can never thank enough for what Agathiyar has given me despite my many weaknesses, sins, and karma. Though some events were frustrating eventually we have come to understand the maths behind it. After I read the Nadi in 2002 Agathiyar revealed that all my puja and yoga practices that I did in my bachelor days got me nowhere. The reason was that my karma stood in the way of me reaping the fruits of my efforts and labor. Agathiyar also revealed that all the predictions given by astrologers got me nowhere. The reason was that my Lagna (Ascendant) which is calculated on the basis of our birth date, time, and the location I was born was not applicable as it was switched mysteriously. He revealed the new horoscope that was based on another Lagna, shifting the position of all the other related planets and bringing a new Gochara palan or benefits in the movement or transit of these planets. 

Seeking to know further about the Siddhas and their path after Agathiyar asked me to come to the worship of the Siddhas in my Nadi, I was frustrated as my search got me nowhere. None of the establishments or movements were into worship though they were intensely involved in charity and feeding and some others had dropped worship of the Siddhas and took on the worship of light. As Agathiyar had specifically told me to worship the Siddhas beside the other deities and had me witness a simple Siddha worship that the Nadi reader did for me after Agathiyar asked me to pay homage to the Siddhas for documenting and revealing my past, present, and future, I continued with the recitation of the names of the Siddhas in the confines of my prayer room even away from the eyes of my family. 

In 2005 after Agathiyar showed me Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal who was visiting Malaysia, Tavayogi asked that I engage my family in the worship of the Siddhas too. He asked that I frequent the local peedham that he had come to officiate. But Agathiyar had other plans for both of us. He had me get another initiation in private this time after a Nadi reading. My journey now began officially coming under the tutorship of Tavayogi without the need to seek others. He invited me to his ashram. Agathiyar too instructed me in the Nadi to spend a few days at his ashram. Leaving for India a month after his departure, I began to learn his ways. 

Tavayogi had me conduct a Homam that lighted up my home and filled it with aroma and smoke. It brought the family together in worship. Each of us participated actively in preparing, conducting, and cleaning up after the puja. When he came later in 2007 to Malaysia he finetuned the ritual for us. Tavayogi taught me and several others some Asanas and Pranayama techniques that refined the practices that I did as a bachelor. 

Agathiyar on his part came as a bronze statue in 2010 replacing his picture I received from the host who brought in the Nadi readers from India that kickstarted my worship of the Siddhas in 2002. Now carrying out libation or Abhisegam brought our home worship to the next level. Things began to move and we saw a majestic jump in the method and ways of worship. 

In 2013 Agathiyar brought strangers to my home after their Nadi readings to watch and participate in the Siddha puja. Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) and Amudha Surabhi (AS) its charity arm took shape. We were making headway and much progress. We brought Siddha worship from the confines of AVM into the homes of devotees and the temples. Just when we thought that we were getting somewhere Agathiyar brings the shutters down on all our activities and events. He asked us to go within, working on our breath. 

Here is where I realized that we are all seeking to come together in a common place to worship and leave. We never wanted to turn host and open the doors to our homes and invite others to join our home prayers and give them a treat before sending them away. We expect others to host and we join in prayer. I was saddened that except for a handful who carried on the tradition that they saw and picked up at AVM others went into oblivion. They equated Siddha puja with that of temple worship where we go, pray, and return having nothing to do further with the temple. Siddha puja is different. With the worship of the Siddhas in our homes, we invite them. They come to stay with us, eat with us, speak to us, rejoice with us, celebrate with us, and also weep with us during our troubled times, rest and sleep in our homes, and go into the state of Dhyanam and Tavam in our homes. It was Tavayogi's dream too to see each home become Agathiyar Vanam. This was related to us by Lord Murugan who came through a devotee. Agathiyar had a dream. And so Agathiyar sent Tavayogi to our shores to preach the path. He did as told.  So did Tavayogi's Paramaguru Jeganatha Swamigal and guru Chitramuthu Adigal have a wish. The AVM family fulfilled Chitramuthu Adigal's wish to see the Siddha puja conducted in the Waterfalls temple in Taiping. Should we not fulfill Tavayogi's wish now just as Tavayogi fulfilled Agathiyar's wish and the AVM family fulfilled Chitramuthu Adigal's wish back then?

The Siddha path is only for those who are keen to take up the worship of the Siddhas in their own homes, invite others to partake in the bliss that they derive from these pujas, feed those who attend, engage in doing charity, and bring the worship into others homes. If you are prepared to do all these please step in otherwise it would just be like another visit to the temples. 

We have to live the path we choose and not regard it as another ornament or attire that we adorn when needed and remove at other times. We have to breathe the path. We have to sleep on the path. We have to speak the path. We have to speak the truth just as the Sanskrit teacher in the movie "Mohalla Assi" teaches his students that Nachiketa taught us to choose the path of honesty. But when poverty takes its toll on the family, and he decides against the principles he upheld all this while, his wife confronts him, "You never compromised in your life. Why now?" Pandey replies "When time changes for the worst, our values get diminished. Poverty crushes everything." But they remained true to their core faith even as life strangled them slowly. Let us be true to ourselves in the face of any calamity or hardship. Let us be true to the Self. Let us be true to the Atma. Let us be true to the Siddhas who have worked hard on us to mold us into their image. Let us speak about and pass on the legacy of the Siddhas to others. This shall be our greatest achievement even overshadowing devotion and worship, acts of dharma, service, charity and feeding, and all other noble acts. For that to take place we have to live the life of a Siddha first. 

WALKING THROUGH THE PHASES BRIEFLY

Let us revisit Agathiyar's journey walking this earth to enlighten all those who came in contact with him. Surendaran Selvaratnam asked Agathiyar himself for answers to his origin when he went for a Nadi reading in 2017. Agathiyar answered his query.

Agathiyar in his very first mortal birth, had the vision of Kailash at a very young age of 10. After the vision, he took up extreme tapas (tavam) including breath control and he reached a state of Nirmala at Kailash. Upon receiving theecha from Lord Kailai Shiva, he was blessed to be born a Siddha. Agathiyar stopped short of describing it as a mystical birth, adding that it was not necessary to dwell on the source and the details (Rishimulam Nadhimulam). Born a Siddha he traveled through the jungles, sustaining on fruits. His thoughts were fixed on God whom he addresses as Erai. He was detached having no attachment to the good or bad results of his actions. He soon had the vision and grace of Goddess Vana Kali. He continued with his seeking and search for realization and carried out further severe tapas or tavam. Lord Kailai Shiva finally shows him his vision in Pothigai. Agathiyar received the names of Kudamuni, Kumbamuni, and other names from Lord Kailai Shiva. Agathiyar stayed on at Pothigai upon Lord Kailai Shiva's directive. He remained without food and sat in silence, absorbed in the state of Vaasi. He adhered to the eight limbs of Ashtanga Yoga and continued performing extreme tapas, for the rest of the Yuga. He gained the Siddhi to travel through the air. He came to know about the medicinal benefits of various herbs and plants. Though he had achieved much, Lord Kailai Shiva told Agathiyar that there was something that he had failed to accomplish and do. When Agathiyar asked for further clarification, Lord Kailai Shiva laughed and looked straight into his eyes, and answered, "Although you are an embodiment of Gnana, and those who hold on to your feet shall never face any disappointments, Gurumuni you do not have a companion as I do." Agathiyar was taken aback. He came to know that the Lord intended to get him engaged to the very representation of Mother Kaveri, and Kaberan's daughter, Lobamutrai. Hence in this Kali Yuga, Shiv Sakthi came to stay at Kalyana Theertam as Agathiyar and Lobha Ma.

Agathiyar who was guided by the Gods attained the state of God. He came back to lead us to his state too. He has been trying to mold and transform us throughout the many births we took. In this birth, he put us through several phases too. From identifying our past karma and aiding us to clean the slate in 2002, he brought devotion and love for God in us through puja. Through having us do charity and feeding he brought out the compassion and love in us towards fellow beings. Engaging us in Yoga in 2007, he had us tap into the Prana that was all around us, enhancing the body and the energies within multifold. Working on the chakras, the energies that lay dormant were activated. It made its way further up cleansing and clearing the path and the chakras that were energy centers or stations where these energies halted either briefly or became stagnated. Breaking the bunds and letting the ponded energies out in 2022 saw a rapid surge of energies in the navel rise to the crown in days. The energy triggered the blossoming and opening of petals in the crown of the head. When the ground was prepared the Prapanjam came within with their aid and guide and grace. The Prapanjam is now here to stay. 

The next phase is that of bodily and subtle changes and transformation. This phase is one of whether we survive the transformation. The next phase of transformation would determine whether we stay alive to tell the story or otherwise. It is that of the effulgence entering us. I shall stay on the path and hold on till the last breath. Who knows when the door shall open ajar and we will fall into the rabbit hole as in the story of "Alice in Wonderland" and discover a whole new world. Then we might come back and find a spot to sell our wares in the marketplace as we are told that the world is a market in the movie "Mohalla Assi". One who sees the market and seizes the opportunity makes it big. But it shall be knowledge that uplifts the Soul giving it power and its rightful place, that shall be dispensed without any charge.

The Siddhas have worked hard on us. It is only fair that we achieve the state that they deem we deserve in this life and maybe come back to continue from where we left just as Agathiyar's journey started at the young age of 10 and not late in life at the age of 43 as I did.

NEED FOR DIRECTION

Just as we need direction be it to get to a place or our destination or goal, we need a physical guru to show us the way, the method, and the practice as there are no signs on the path of the Siddhas. We were blessed to have Agathiyar and later Tavayogi come into the picture to show us the way. Right from day one Agathiyar guided as in the Nadi and later through Tavayogi too. After Tavayogi's demise, he came through devotees. 

Agathiyar and my gurus in physical forms have indeed lighted up my life. The guru is always known to give, just as Supramania Swami surprised me by passing on the merits of his 40 years of tavam to me, and Tavayogi shaped me in his image. If Tavayogi gave me and several others a set of Asanas and Pranayama practices on his visit to Malaysia in 2007, Agathiyar gave me several yogic practices in a Nadi reading on 27.8.2009, to enhance and complement that which we learned from Tavayogi. Agathiyar told me these practices would strengthen the state of Gnana in us further. As a result, the clarity and powerful thoughts would pave the way to lure the Prapanjam for sure. This was the first mention of the word Prapanjam. பக்குவமாய் பயிற்சியும் செய்து வர பலப்படுமே ஞான நிலை பலவாறாக. பல்வாறாய் தெளிவு திடம், சிந்தை கீர்த்தி, பிரபஞ்சம் வசிய நிலை திண்ணம் திண்ணம். 

Agathiyar who told us in a Nadi reading on 17.10. 2010 that the Prapanjam was in him and that he shall present himself and shower his grace on us in whatever form we may worship him in, என்னுள் பிரபஞ்சம் உள்ளத்தப்ப. அவனியிலே எதை நினைத்து புசித்தாலும் அடுத்த கணம் அது வாய் மாறி ஆசி அதுவும் அளிப்பேன், mentions that Ramalinga Adigal come into our midst on 21.2.2020 to bless us and helped us receive the energy from the Prapanjam. வள்ளல் பிரபஞ்சத்திடம் இருந்து சக்தியைப் பெற்றுக் கொள்ள உதவினார்.

Agathiyar came again on 29.6.2020 and told us that he was the Prapanjam. He was us too. His powers were in us too. The moment we realize this truth we shall attain emancipation. நான் தான் பிரபஞ்சம். நான்தான் நீங்கள். என் சக்தி உங்களிடம் உள்ளது. எப்போது அதை உணர்விகளோ வீடு பேறு கிட்டும்.

On 20.7.2020 Agathiyar again revealed that Ramalinga Adigal brought the Prapanjam down. வள்ளல் பிரபஞ்சத்தை தருவித்தார்.

On 30.11.2020 he says that he was all the deities put together. He was the Prapanjam. நானே அணைத்து தெய்வங்கள். நானே பிரபஞ்சம்.

On 10.12.2020 Ramalinga Adigal was constantly telling us to bring the Prapanjam within and that it would listen to us and accompany us. பிரபஞ்சத்தை உள்ளுக்குள் செலுத்துங்கள். பிரபஞ்சம் உங்களுக்குக் கட்டுப்படும். துணை வரும். Ramalinga Adigal showed us the way to access and connect with the Prapanjam. He says that the Prapanjam shall assist us. He too would come to assist. உன் கைகளை உயர்த்தி பிரபஞ்சத்துடன் தொடர்பு கொள்க. பிரபஞ்சம் உனக்கு உதவி புரியும். நானும் துணை இருப்பேன்

On 6.5.2021, Agathiyar spoke again on the Prapanjam making us understand that the doctor's role ends with the procedure done on their patients. Then Prapanjam takes over and begins healing the patients from within and without. He reassured my daughter that he would stand by her and heal her eyes together with the Prapanjam. பிரபஞ்சம் உனக்கு உதவி புரியும். நானும் துணை இருப்பேன். 

On 15.5.2021 Lord Shiva addressed our worries regarding the increasing numbers of casualties who succumbed to the Coronavirus, saying we are the cause of it and Prapanjam used it for its purpose. He added that "Man now needs to join forces with the Prapanjam and use it as a force field or shield and engaged in cleaning the Prapanjam. When it's cleansed the world will be completely rid of the virus." He goes on to explain how it shall take place. "When engaged with the Prapanjam the vibration that takes place in you shall become atoms that cleanse the Prapanjam. The virus will be around till that day that is fully achieved. He added that "I, Shiva will join you in prayers to heal the Prapanjam. Whenever and wherever possible continue doing the Homam." இந்த நோய் மனிதனால் உருவாக்கப் பட்டது. பிரபஞ்சம் அதனை உபயோகப் படுத்திக் கொண்டது. மனிதர்கள் பிரபஞ்சத்தோடு இணைந்து பிரபஞ்சத்தைக் கவசமாய் பயன்படுத்தி பிரபஞ்சத்தைச் சுத்தம் செய்ய வேண்டும். பிரபஞ்சம் சுத்தம் அடையும் தருணம் இந்த நோய் முற்றிலும் குணமடையும். பிரபஞ்சத்தோடு இணையும்பொழுது உங்களில் ஏற்படும் அதிர்வுகள் அணுவாய் மாறிப் பிரபஞ்சத்தைத் தூய்மை செய்யும். அதுநாள் வரை இந்த நோய் நீண்டகாலம் இருக்கச் செய்யும். சிவன் நானும் உங்களோடு இணைந்து பிரார்த்தனைகளை முன்வேய்ப்பேன் பிரபஞ்சம் தூய்மை பெற. முடிந்தமட்டிலும் ஒவ்வொருவரும் இந்த ஹோமத்தைச் செய்து வாருங்கள். Following this call to gather together and heal the Prapanjam, Ma Prapanjam came in a devotee's meditation and asked us to gather together in prayer after the aftermath of the pandemic telling us that there were possibilities of a revival of the dreaded virus. By her grace, everything was presumably contained.

As a finale Prapanjam herself came through a devotee last Saturday, and henceforth asked us to seek her for all our needs. When I asked that she shower her grace on others too she replied that as she was the Prapanjam she would care for them too and hushed me repeating Shanti Shanti Shanti. I saw her motherly love at that moment.

Now I understand the reason Agathiyar left AVM for the home of another devotee. As our need for a guru ended, and after bringing the Prapanjam down Agathiyar chose to leave. I guess there would not be any written, or verbal conversations and communications henceforth as before. Instead, we have to tap into the archives and resources within the belly of the Prapanjam. Now I understand why the village deity Karupanasamy who also stood guard for the Siddhas, told us that Agathiyar was a lady after we had several ladies come before us surprising us with their darshan and gifts when the AVM family made its way to several temples before heading for the new Kallar ashram to participate in the consecration ceremony or Kumbhabhisegam in 2016. Before we left he had told us to be on the lookout for Agathiyar who would present himself before us in all the places we went. Indeed he came in the form of ladies and blessed the lot.

HOLD ON

There is a reason the path is called Siddhar Neri. Here we are molded into becoming a Siddha. There is the mold into which we have to fit. What are the aspects of a Siddha then? There is no one mold into which everybody fits. It varies from person to person. The Siddhas in coming to a young devotee, each, carry their own individuality. Agathiyar is supposed to be stern while Pambatti is jovial. Both Lord Muruga and Ramalinga Adigal I know are fast and furious while Agathiyar is composed. But there is an underlying quality amongst all of them. They give back to society what they have learned and achieved in their lifetimes. 

And so Tavayogi was sent to our shores to preach the path to the masses and mold only a handful. I was one of the lucky wants to be molded. Seeing the tall and majestic-looking bespectacled and bearded man for the very first I could see his humbleness. He held a Master's degree in Arts and was a one-time businessman spinning cotton attires in his hometown of Tiruppur. He was a chairperson of Pattimandrams. He walked with his head held high not one of snobbishness but one appropriate to the standing of Agathiyar.

I frequented the place he had stayed in during his visit to Malaysia in 2005 almost every day, leaving straight from my office to see him. I never had any questions for him. I used to sit and watch the drama unfold as seekers, devotees, and people from all walks of life came by to pay their respects to him and engaged in lengthy discussions. I absorbed all that went on. Seeing many invite him over to their homes which he obliged, I extended an invitation to him too. He came. I was overjoyed at having a holy man step into my home for the very first time in history or rather (my)story. He thrashed that joy that day. But I am grateful he did for that was the start of how he began to mold me. I was confused and sad not knowing what I had done wrong, but it was a lesson not to fall for any holy person that he taught me that day. He told me that he was not holy and not to fall prey to the attire but instead pointed me to the feet of Agathiyar and asked that I hold on to him. No holy man would drive us away but he did. But yet I stuck to him as Agathiyar had pointed him out to me as a true guru for me. Today even after his samadhi he comes to us through devotees to continue the teaching. 

I soon followed a month after he left for his ashram accepting his invitation and following Agathiyar's directive to spend a few days at his ashram. Here too he educated me on letting go of my hold on all the tiny possessions I had on me and my thoughts. He emptied me before he brought me to witness the lifestyle he had been through during his days on wanderings telling me that the true journey had only started. He revamped me, upgraded me, and let go of me to explore further the path. He stood aside as I was given total freedom to do as I pleased, to modify, to initiate anew, bringing the worship and acts of dharma to others too. Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) flourished with the entry of youngsters eager to know the path shown to AVM in 2013 and reached its zenith in 2019. Just as Agathiyar and Tavayogi gave me tools these devotees were given the tools too, to continue and pursue the path in their own time. 

Slowly both Agathiyar and Tavayogi shaped me and others to fit the mold. It was not an easy task for both parties. But they made it so accessible and brought the severity of pain and torture to the minimum so that our pampered body could take the heat. They worked on the life-giver that was our breath having us practice Pranayama and other Vaasi techniques. Traversing each chakra and taking on an internal journey the fire of our tapas burned down the dwelling and rebuilt itself anew. By this time the karma acquired through our life and former lives lost its hold on us by having taken the course of worship, conducting rituals, doing charity and feeding, and stepping into Yoga. What was in store and awaited us further was Gnanam which only dawns on one when we pursue the journey further to reach the zenith or the crown and look back at the experiences and the truth behind all these practices. 

Reaching the crown chakra, and engaging with the Prapanjam that is likened to suckling our Mother's breast, the effulgence comes within to ignite all the chakras that await its homecoming. The chakras light up as we light up our homes during Karthigai Deepam. Next in line will be the rare state of becoming light. Further transformations are mentioned by Ramalinga Adigal which is still vague to our understanding for now. As always the Siddhas do not give out handouts or manuals but want us to reach each state and experience first before coming to confirm these experiences and explain further.