GOING WAYBACK IN TIME 1

With "Wayback Machine" I managed to retrieve some pages from my earlier websites "indianheartbeat" that I had deactivated in the past.

http://indianheartbeat.20m.com/

Dec 27, 2001

Portrait of Saint Vallalar

The Thiruarutpa is a collection of songs composed by Saint Vallalar. Having taken a Divine birth as recent as the 19th century, Saint Vallalar, experienced and realized God. He saw God as Light ( Oli ). He worshipped God in the form of Light and eventually became the Light. He documented his experience and realization in the form of songs. These songs were later compiled and published as the Thiruarutpa.

Some of His songs were recorded and produced by the Bangalore Sanmarga Sangam, Karnataka, India, and made available in audio cassettes in Malaysia by the Sri Agasthiar Sanmarga Kurukulam, Batu Caves. The songs are beautifully and emotionally rendered by Thiru Malaiyur Sadasivam and Thirumathi Saroja Nadarajan.

These songs are made available in MP3 format by Thiru A Sivakumar of Singapore at Vallalar's Home Page and can be downloaded from http://www.vallalar.org. You can also learn more about the Saint at Arutjhoti Vallalar Mandram's Home Page http://www.vallalarorphanage.org.my. This site is maintained from Sg Petani, Kedah by Thiru V Krishnan & Thiru K Ramadass.

Here are a few songs from the Thiruarutpa for your reading.

Oct 14, 2007

TAVAYOGI IN MALAYSIA

Tavayogi arrived in Malaysia with his entourage of seventy-five Indian saints, learned pandits, professors, sidha doctors, and common folk on 24 May 2007. They were driven to the University of Malaya where the First Conference of Sidha Principles was to be held that evening. The moment I spotted Tavayogi alighting from the four-wheel drive, I hurried to him. Another disciple of his approached him too. He hugged both of us. Tavayogi moved aside to reveal Madam Sarojini or recently given the honarable title of Mataji. I held her hands and we both embarrassed ourselves. I told Tavayogi that I had wanted to go over to the airport but decided I would be of use at the university where preparations were being conducted for the seminar.

Earlier Ooran Adigal was driven in by his disciple in Malaysia, GN Supramaniam. As the Adigal alighted from the vehicle, I greeted him. I became the porter for the day by circumstances. The group of volunteers in charge of receiving the participants was nowhere to be seen. I carried Adigal’s luggage to his room and later had the privilege to serve him tea in his lodge. The rest of the entourage had arrived by now. I greeted them and assisted in carrying some of their luggage. I showed them their rooms and solved some tiny problems that they faced during checking-in.

Meanwhile, my wife and children were equally busy helping prepare the identity cards for the participants. I called them over to Adigal who on seeing them took out a packet of Vibhuti and blessed them. When Tavayogi arrived I called my family over to greet him too.

As we left for home around one in the afternoon, thinking we had assisted enough for the day, we met Tavayogi who was being chauffeured to the radio station for an interview, at the traffic lights. We greeted each other again while still in the car, and Tavayogi asked that we return in the evening to talk.

At 6 pm my family and I picked up my brother-in-law Arumugam who had just arrived from Ipoh to attend the conference. Tavayogi had gone to the airport to fetch a Vice-Chancelor from a university in India, we were told. Arumugam and I went to meet Uran Adigal who was in his lodge. I took the opportunity to get Adigal to autograph my copy of the Tiru Arutpa, the sixth canto, that he had published in 1982.

Later as Ooran Adigal came down for a walk I approached him to ask if he would like a drive to ‘Little India’ - Brickfields. This is a small township where everything Indian is available. Adigal consented. He talked about himself, his writings, his previous trips to Malaysia, etc. We came back to the university in time for dinner. Tavayogi was already back for dinner too. Tavayogi retired early that evening.

THE FIRST CONFERENCE OF SIDHA PRINCIPLES

25th May 2007 was the official opening of the First Conference Of Sidha Principles. As I parked my car and walked up the hill where the Convention Center was located with my brother-in-law Arumugam, my brother Kathi, and the Olai reader Ramesh, we spotted Tavayogi at the foyer of the Convention Center. We gave the traditional Indian salutations as we walked up the slope and he returned the salutations. We walked briskly to meet him. Upon reaching him, Kathi and Ramesh fell at his feet. I grasped his hands only to realize this was not Tavayogi. He was Swami Hindu from Ipoh. Tavayogi arrived at the Convention Center only later. All four of us were pretty sure that we saw Tavayogi a moment ago. We realized that Tavayogi had given us a vision that morning.

As I was having tea with Arumugam, Kathi, and Ramesh later at the open-air car park in front of the Convention Center, I spotted a squirrel on a tree nearby. A few minutes later that squirrel approached Kathi and started to sniff his feet. Then it did the same at my feet. I was surprised that it was friendly. Since it was friendly I bent down to pat it. Surprisingly it did not run away but instead allowed me to pat its back. Kathi then started patting it. It stood still. Then it moved on to another person.

As I came down after having my lunch that afternoon, I noticed Swami Omkaranandha standing alone in one corner. I took the opportunity to approach him and fell at his feet. He asked for my name, where I stayed, and if I had children. Shortly after that his disciples came and ushered him away.

On the final day of the convention, Kathi, my friend Murali, and I waited in the foyer to meet the swamis and bid them farewell. We meet Swami Omgaranandha, Mataji, and later Tavayogi in the Press Room. We invited Tavayogi to our homes.

Oct 21, 2008

I published several emails I had received.

• Excellent work about Vinayagar Chaturthi. regards, .... Ireland
• Dear Sir, I would very much like to meet a Siddhar based in Malaysia. Maybe one who is of the stature like Tavayogi. From your writings, it is clear that Tavayogi is well beyond the clutches of money, name, and fame. It can be seen from his simplicity of choosing a seat equal to all. There were numerous other mentions of his equanimity peppered throughout your writing about him. I thoroughly enjoyed and relished your writing of pilgrimages and meeting of your gurus. You are indeed fortunate and blessed. Nowadays even spirituality is mixed with money. Hence the jnanam Iraivan has given for free and out of love should not be sold,. This is our humble opinion. Many choose the vocation of gurudom and exploit the blind bakthi of the devotees. Many devotees also without deep thinking ascribe some spiritual experiences to the all-knowing guru. Truly a siddhan will make all feel equal before him and will not be party to this blessing business. I saw this in Tavayogi's declining of people worshipping his feet as per your article. For in truth, all are children of Iraivan only, be they in the ignorance of Mayai or the light of Vidyai. You have been such a help. But in truth, my quest is to meet a genuine Siddhar only. I look upon you as my brother to help me in this quest. Thank you, Yours sincerely, .....18/8/08
• Dear Sir, How are you? I saw your good website depicting your spiritual adventures and Thavayogi. I also read about the nadi joshiyam and your adventures. It was a delight to read and I would like to thank you for taking your time and effort in sharing your spiritual journey. Truly it can be an inspiration. I saw that you have quoted nadi josiyam. I would like to know if everything is predicted in it? Does everyone have a nadi josiyam? I am residing in Ipoh. Is the Siddhar Agasthiyar organization available here? Or is there someone in the path residing here, for I would like to meet such a one and get some spiritual clarifications? I saw the posting on the Siddhar conference. I hope to attend the Siddhar conference if held again. Could you recommend any books on the subject of Siddhars in English, please? Unfortunately and quite regrettably I am not well versed in Tamil. Can I also ask you another favor? Would you be as kind and let me know of Tavayogi's future visit to Malaysia? I would like to very much meet him in person, for it is not my lot to visit at the moment. I have visited the land before but on a business trip. At the moment being preoccupied with my work, it is not feasible to travel anywhere. I hope this is not too much to ask. Ah..there is still one more thing. I saw in the site of a samadhi of a person Tavayogi visited in Chenderiang, Tapah. May I know who is the Jaganathar and precisely where is the location? Is he a siddhar? This is because I intend to visit the shrine. Thank you. I hope I have not inconvenienced you by taking much liberties to ask you all these questions and favors. Thank you again. Yours sincerely, ... 16/8/2008
• Dear Sir, I really felt happy when I got your site through Google while searching for some information regarding spiritual places. I got many information from the site and thank you for sharing your experience with gurus. I prayed to the almighty to bless you to continue the spiritual service. OM NAMASHIVAYA. 
• Thanks for the reply. I think your site is great and really enjoy the material and pictures. Does Thavayogi speak English?. Yes, I learned from Govindan. I was just up at the Ashram last week to see him and spend some time. Do you know Him? Thanks and if I can help you with bringing the teachings of the Siddhas to the West. I would be very glad to assist in any way. 
• Hi, I'm interested in learning more about the Siddhas. Is there any way that I could study or learn from Thavayogi? I practice Kriya Yoga as taught by Marshall Govindan. I'm interested in both Siddha philosophy and practices. Any help would be very much appreciated. Currently, I'm in the US. I'm planning on spending extended time in India in 2008. Please send me some info. Thanks, ....
• Dear Sir, I am learning astrology based on the Siddha System. I happened to see the website in which you mentioned that you are blessed with Agasthiyar Moola Manthiram. If so could you please let me know so that before I take the astrology book, I can tell that mantiram and then start so that I can learn the same in perfection. Regards.

• Your experience with the Siddha Purushas is very interesting to read. I tried to open the book Andamum Pindamum but only blank pages returned. I downloaded and installed the fonts as well. Please advise what I should do. I live and work as a professional in Singapore. I look forward to reading more of your experiences and hearing about any divine information you could share with us. Best regards.
• I live in the UK. I am planning a pilgrimage to visit some temples in the THIRUNEL VELI district. Please advise and help me to visit KALYAN TIRTHAM and other important shrines in the area. Both I and wife are elderly so we would like to minimize climbing and walking long distances. We hope to come during the first week of Dec 08. Many thanks. 
• Dear Atma, My name is Komathy. I just returned from a miracle-filled pilgrimage of Arupadaiveedu etc with an enlightened Naga Baba. I have always looked upon Babaji as my invisible guide Angel. I would really like to share spiritual stories if possible. we too got the Abishega milk @ Palani...Looking forward to ur response. 
• Hello, Sir, I am a Siddha doctor residing in Switzerland with my family. I came across your website and your experiences and was quite fascinated by it. Thank you for your email reply. I would also like to express that I was born in K.L. Malaysia and my mother and father and grandparents are from Malaysia. My mum still holds a Malaysian passport and she comes from Penang and all our relatives from my mother's side are there. I had been doing some research in Kolli Hills in the earlier days and now I take guided trips for people who are interested in Siddha medicine as a service. My husband is a vastu consultant and you can have details at http://www..........com. We were in Penang last year to attend my grandmother's funeral rites. Hope we can visit Malaysia and then we would maybe make contact with you.Thank you for the wonderful information. Dr...............
• To Ayya Avargal, I am a Siddha doctor, living in Switzerland with my family and we plan to visit Courtallam and Pothegai hills in January with a group of Kriya yoga devotees who are also attached to the Siddha tradition and have great belief and respect in it. If there are any chances that we can meet you in Coourtallam during that period kindly let us know. I have been many times earlier to Kuttralam and Pothegai Hills, and have done my private research in Kolli Hills. We would be blessed to see you and have your blessings. If it is possible then kindly email me at the following email Thank you, then I will get back with the dates we will be in Kuttralam. Dr.....
• Dear Avadaiyappa Shanmugam, Namaste. I give you permission to use selected passages from my book "Babaji and the 18 Siddha Kriya Yoga Tradition" as long as it includes a bibliographic reference to the same, including our website http://www.babaji.ca .You may find other more recent relevant material in my most recent book The Wisdom of Jesus and the Yoga Siddhas available from both our Indian and Canadian offices. M Govindan
• Thanks for your prompt response. It was so kind of you to give Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal's contact details. I spoke to him. 
• Dear Sir: After reading the writings I am very much interested in meeting the Tavayogi. Could you please let me know how I can do it? 
• Dear Avadaiyappa Shanmugam, Thank you for your email of Sept 21. Please feel free to maintain the passages posted on your website. Yours in Bhagavan, V.S. Ramanan PRESIDENT
• Aum Sri Sairama: Your site is well written. Where does Sri la Sri Supramania Swami / Thangarasu Swamigal reside? Pl advise by mail details of address and phone number. Thanks.
• Pranam! I happened to read about your experience with "Sri Thavayogi" at various places and received the blessing of Siddhars. I hope you might have heard about "Sathuragiri". I have hosted a website specifically for Mahalingam Malai at Thaniparai near Srivilliputtur. If time permits visit the site and enjoy! The link is www.freewebs.com/agnilingam Pranams! Agnilingam.
• When I went through the website, I heard the word Nadi, are you a Nadi predictor having chuvadis. I saw Nadi @ vaideeswaran koil one time. But I understand they use that as a money-making media rather than a service. I want to see my chuvadi, kindly guide me where I can get clear details. After I started firmly believing in a spiritual way, I thought everything happening as per our karma, everybody must undergo the karmic process. But I want to make some important decisions in my life. For that, I want guidance through chuvadi. Kindly give me guidance where I can get the right details. Thank you.NAMASHIVAYA.
• Hi, I am enjoying all the songs that you have listed on this website. These are really good songs with so much melody. Please add more songs if you can. Thank you,
• Dear Sirs, I am interested in getting the full version of Maharabharatam either in English or Malayalam in full. Thanks for your cooperation
• I was surfing the internet and found your website. I have really enjoyed listening to some of the songs, especially the devotional ones dedicated to Vallalar. Some of them I learned as a child: ambalatharase..., aruljothi Deivam Yenai; and arulperunjothi. I come from Fiji. My dad who has now passed away, was the only person who was devoted to Ramalinga's teaching and had a handful of followers. My dad came from Thiruvarur. My mum is a Telugu who was born and raised in Fiji. Although my dad tried to teach us to read and write Tamil, we've never become very proficient. Because of where I come from, it was easier to speak Hindi and English. Thank you very much for putting on the website this collection of songs.
• Dear Sir. In my daily prayers, I recite the mantras as in the 1st attachment. Daily I change the flowers placed for the Vinayagar statue. It's only on Friday that I clean the altar with manjal neer. Please let me if this practice is adequate. Thank You.....Singapore 
• Dear Sir, I thank you for the immediate reply. May I have your clarification, please. I start the prayers by saying ..(various mantras...ed). Is this in order? I spent about 20 min doing the pooja before rushing (that's life in Singapore) to work. However, I seek spirituality and am in search of it. Please guide me.... Singapore 
• Dear Sir, I have a Vinayagar statue at home. Please teach me how to conduct daily prayers including reciting the mantras and vinayagan kavasam. Thank you..... Singapore

THE MUCH NEEDED EXPERIENCES

Much of what Tavayogi spoke about in open forums and in private moments only makes sense now as we begin to experience them. Much of what the saints sang about in their poems and songs of praise to the divine only makes sense now too as we begin to experience them. Experience is indeed a great teacher. His teachings were simplified and clear though we never understood them then. 

We are calculative and find it hard to part with money. We think that the Nadi reader is reaping us off by having us part with a sum of money in asking to do Nadikku Dhanam or paying homage to the Nadi written by the Siddhas and upkeep by the readers. But in essence, it is a Guru Dakshanai or a tradition of giving something in return for guidance and knowledge and learning a skill or art. I was asked to pay a sum stated by Agathiyar in the Nadi and submit other items as a mark of thanksgiving to the Siddhas for writing, preserving, and revealing my Nadi. I did as told. When me and my wife joined six others to receive Diksha or initiation into the mantra of Agathiyar from Tavayogi, as everything was arranged by the movement that he came to officiate, we just had to be present to receive it. But Agathiyar did not sanction the initiation. Several weeks later he came in the Nadi and told me to meet Tavayogi immediately, bringing several items that he stated, and get his initiation - again. I did as told and went over to where Tavayogi had taken residence during that visit and though surprised by the turn of events, he initiated me this time with his touch and look as opposed to the previous manner where Agathiyar's mantra was written in paper for us to recite before him. By giving us remedies to carry out to offset the karma from our past actions, we are made to part with money that we treasure and give to charity and feed man and animal. Here then is our first lesson in letting go and helping others. This brings forth compassion within us if we choose to continue these acts. But sadly we stop at what is told and move on with life, making more money and oblivious to the sufferings of others. 

We are here to learn lessons gained from experiences that begin to purify the Udal, Uyir, and Atma. It seems to us now that we actually knew the truth but it was veiled from us through a divine play or his lila. The young soul in Neale Donald Walsch's parable "The Little Soul and the Sun", adapted from his book 1 in the series "Conversations with God" (CWG), too knew it was light but wanted to experience it. Knowing who he was was not enough; he needed to become "it". So he is given a choice to pick the desired action that he would like to do, from a list of many, once he is on earth. He chooses the act of forgiving. Another soul immediately steps up to join the soul in fulfilling its wish by being the perpetrator so that the young soul can then forgive him. They both come down to earth to live out their desire. This desire triggers a chain of events, a learning process takes place and several experiences are recorded, whereby the soul becomes enriched through these experiences. As all the souls are perfect, many wanted and volunteered to come down to help us gain the experience. Thus we had all known each other earlier. We had planned to be together here. Those who needed a particular experience chose to come early while others remained behind to join later.

We, being light in essence, for want of experiencing it, had darkness and all opposites created for us. Agathiyar too told me that he had me do certain shameful acts and have these experiences too. Hence he threw them in between the many that I had sought to know and those that came as a reward for my past deeds. Later moving into our homes and into our hearts much later, he has revealed and come to be the Self or Atma in us. He who accompanied us on this journey of discovery of life soon faded into oblivion as we began to see the creation and the exemplary work of Maya all around us and became lured by it. We began to think and took it that all these were real. When we are caught in the grips of Maya or illusion in this world we never realize the existence of the Atma. When we become enlightened through the words of the guru and travel his path we attain the state of Gnanam or Enlighthenment. That is Atma Darisanam or coming face to face with one's soul. Henceforth he begins to speak to it and speaks less to others, guided by it. 

Agathiyar coming through a devotee gave us a short memo that explained the Udal, Uyir, and Atma and asked us to read up Tavayogi's book "Atma Gnanam" for further explanations. He told us that the Atma was primarily composed of 5 components of a Tattva.

ஆன்மாவாகியது 5 கூறு தத்துவங்களைக் கொண்டது. அந்த 5 கூறுகளை யாதென்று நீ கற்றுக்கொள்ள வேண்டும். எமது சீடன் தவயோகி ஆன்மஞானத்தில் குறிப்பிட்டிருக்கிறான். நீ அதைக் கற்கும்போது உள்ளிருந்து உனக்கு உணர்தலை யாம் அளிப்போம்.

Referring to Tavayogi's book we learn that to be Buthangal, Thanmathirai, Gnanenthiriyam, Kanmenthiriyam, and Anthakaranam. The first four have 5 components each and the last has 4 adding up to 24 Taavas.

Tavayogi writes that,

பூதங்களின் ஐந்தின் சூட்சும குணங்களே தன்மாத்திரைகளாகும். தன்மாத்திரைகள் என்பது உருபண்பு இல்லாதவை. அணுக்கள் ஒன்று கூடி தன்மாத்திரை ஆகின்றன. தன்மாதிரிகளில் இருந்தே பூதங்கள் தோன்றுகின்றன. 

If the Butha Gnanangal is gross Thanmathirai is subtle. It is akin to the play of atoms. The Thanmatirai moves the Inthiriyangal as energies. Gnanenthiriyam is body, mouth, eyes, nose, and ears. Kanmentiriyam is the hands and legs, digestive, alimentary, and reproductive organs. The Param Anu or atoms create the body that provides the space for it to do its work.   

The ego that identifies itself as supreme and with a host of capabilities once identifies itself as an offshoot of the bigger Param or Almighty sinks into a relationship with it, and sees itself present in all of creation. It lets go of its selfish motives and moves and works in unison with the larger forces. Tavayogi in becoming a mendicant became Father to all rather than limit his role as father to his daughter. Agathiyar made his daughter who was saddened then to realize the immense role her father had taken up and stepped into. His work was now towards a larger population rather than to carry out his responsibilities towards his family. Just like him, there are many who took up the mission to serve a larger mandate rather than only look into their needs. This is a purpose well lived. They shall be remembered in time.

UNDERSTANDING SUFFERING

A question had been bothering me for some time now. An ordinary man succumbs to an illness and is bedridden. At the same time, we see gurus and spiritual teachers succumb to old age and illnesses and become bedridden too. What then is the difference between them? What is the point in engaging in years of austerities only to suffer and die like another? I realized that illness and suffering are for the body. We only feel pain if we connect with the body. Instead, if we were to connect with the Prapanjam the pain and suffering would not matter. As pain set in in me in the wee hours of 4am this morning, I pleaded to Agathiyar and the Prapanjam to rid it. I took his sacred ash and brushed my body with the peacock feathers as it is said that this would heal the pain that arises first in the causal body and later felt in the physical body. I tapped from Prapanjam her energy to heal too. The pain is tolerable as I pen these words now. It is 5.11am now.

Days before Jnana Jothiamma passed away she called me from her hospital bed in pain as a result of the internal transformation that went on. Though I could hardly make out what she was saying I felt her pain. I felt helpless as I was in Malaysia and she was in India. She had told me that many years earlier when she was visiting someone at the hospital Yogi Ramsuratkumar was in an adjacent bed. When Tavayogi was readmitted again to the hospital and called me telling me in the event he did not make it, Mataji would take over the running of his ashram, I remained silent not knowing how to respond. Eventually, he broke the silence again telling me that Agathiyar shall take care of matters. When I called Supramania Swami just days into his vow of silence of 60 days and had him break his vow of silence with my stupid move, he told me that he had seen the Jothi or Light. He passed away after a few days. Another guru in the path of the Siddhas is lying in bed too. 

The difference between a commoner lying in bed and a spiritual man lying in another is that while the former came to pay back his bad karma or accept the gifts of his good karma in the past, and to fulfill his unfinished and also newly awakened earthly desires, filling his tummy and living a life of pleasure, and the comforts of life, the latter comes with a purpose and after having seen it accomplished relieves his body to the elements naturally. When the sufferings of a commoner drown him, the spiritually enhanced and empowered soul stays aloft at all times. While the former's soul learns nothing about soul empowerment and evolvement, the latter brings himself and others to the realization of the soul and its oneness with the Supreme powers.

I too must learn to bear the pain and face any eventuality. Life is not all rosy just because we tread the path of the gurus and the Light. We are at the mercy of nature and its natural ways unless we tap the ability to take hold of it and will the change in us and things around us. But the gurus would hardly want to mess around with this ability even if they were capable of doing so. They choose to remain silent and watch life go on. But if the good chooses to refrain from action the bad seems to go ahead and create suffering for others. Here arises an imbalance in the world that calls for an Avatar to arise. But most Avatars too are localized and do not cause a worldwide effect. How then shall imbalance be corrected throughout the world?

Tavayogi wrote in his book "Andamum Pindamum" that the idea in coming up with the Yoga of the Siddhas was to bring mankind to receive the full potential and power of and experience the Prapanjam and live a peaceful and blissful life. 

பிரபஞ்சத்தின் ஆற்றலை மனிதன் பெற்று மன நிம்மதியோடும் பேரானந்ததோடும் வாழ வேண்டும் என்பதற்காக ஏற்பட்டதே சித்தர்கள் கண்டுபிடித்த யோகம் 

He set out to first preach the path and later teach the method to attain the above state through his humble dwelling and ashram, the Agathiyar Gnana Peedham at Kallar. I was one soul who gained much from his acquaintance. My journey with him has been laid in these pages and the numerous posts in this blog. I am truly grateful to him for teaching me to shed everything I own and possess, both material and subtle in nature. When I parted with my last piece of the tiny crystal statue of Agathiyar that AVM made to commemorate the launch of the audio CD "Agathiyar Geetham" to be placed on the dashboard of a new car that a devotee bought, she was overwhelmed, I came to understand. I had shared my bliss in owning him by giving it to another. Similarly it gave me extreme bliss in passing his bronze statue at AVM to another devotee some time back. Both money and bliss have to be given away, just as Supramania Swami told me that even the merits gained from one's years of austerities or tavam have to be left behind with another. Again I was blessed to receive it from him. All these grace skyrocketed my journey. I am indebted to them for life.

GRACE

When my daughter went to South Korea several years ago, on a student exchange program while studying at a local university, her roommate was a student from Germany. She visited us yesterday, arriving in Singapore and will be moving on to Thailand in the coming weeks. Bringing her to sample the local fayre, I told her how blessed we Malaysians were as we had a fusion of fruits, vegetables, and cooked food from the three main cultures Malay, Chinese, and Indian, and a dressing from other countries to complement the local dishes. We are spoilt for choice when it comes to food. 

The spiritual path too is laced with the beautiful values from other religions adding flavor to the core religion provided we see them all as heading towards a common goal. As many stand rigid and firm to the scriptures there is no avenue to explore here. Tavayogi who told us that the ultimate was to know the soul and engage in it, said that the soul could never be caged. Generally, it is imprisoned the moment we are born into a certain faith and belief. When the ego steps in, the soul loses its freedom further. Veils upon veils are created, that hide the soul and send it further and further into oblivion. The guru has to come to make it known to us. Thereafter our efforts shall be toward seeking the grace of the divine. Only his grace can remove the veils that we had brought onto us.

Manikavasagar and Ramalinga Adigal sing of his grace in the Tiruvasagam and TiruArutpa respectively. These songs speak of the greatness of the divine and his grace.

 

DOING IT DIFFERENTLY

Gary Zukav writes in his book "The Seat of the Soul", published by Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, 2014, that "Creating authentic power requires that you become responsible for everything that you create. The Universal Law of Cause and Effect shows you how you already are responsible for everything that you create, and knowledge of it gives you a strong incentive to create healthy and constructive experiences with your choices. This is the law of karma." This is what Agathiyar told me too after revealing my past karma and the reasons to be born again and again and reminding me to tread the path carefully henceforth after educating me on the nuances of karma. Though we are told by the Siddhas that our past deeds summoned the need to be born again to repay our debts, we learn that our soul had sought to have the experiences that we gain from events that take place in our lives, as Neale Donald Walsch in his book "The Little Soul and the Sun" tells us that the soul that knows that he is light, wants to experience it. As in the world of the absolute only knowing is but there is no experience, the soul comes down to earth to experience itself as Light. "The Little Soul knew itself to be the Light but it wanted to experience itself as Light." Agathiyar did mention that there were many instances of experiences that he wanted me to have too, telling me that it was his doing too. As for the saints they choose to come back to uplift their fellow humans. So rebirth has to be seen from numerous perspectives. 

The body is like a bus with its mechanics, circuitry, and the fuel that drives it. There are mechanics, electronics, and chemistry on display within the body too, but we rarely see it or are aware of it just as we take a ride on the bus oblivious to the operation that goes on in riding the bus. Then there are the thoughts that are akin to the many passengers who board and get off. We carry the stories of people who board the bus and often unload them to others. Our lives are a composite of many other lives and stories that we gather or that they share while traveling and journeying in life. How much of it we wonder is truly our own story? I once asked an elderly man to talk about his family instead, breaking his talk on politics and the state of the nation that he started rattling about to the mechanic as I arrived to repair my car and moved on to share with me. Sadly he had nothing to say and kept quiet. We have to change. That is why we are here. We learn and change from watching and experiencing. 

In an episode of "Lets Trek Japan" on NHK World, hikers are required to carry garbage bags to dispose of leftover food, bottles, cans, etc that they carry with them on the hike. It reminded me of seeing a Japanese man walk the length of the railway station as a kid in the small town I was born in. I had no idea what he was looking for until I saw him throw away a cigarette butt on the ground. He was apparently looking for an ashtray or bin to throw it into as he had been disciplined in his country. Seeing that it was not provided he had no choice but to relieve it elsewhere. My daughter's lecturer returning from a visit to Japan had mentioned to them that one could lay a prayer mat and pray in the toilets in Japan for they are that clean. I too saw how a supervisor in a Japanese mall inspecting the cleanliness of the toilets went to the extent that he picked up the urinal trap and inspected its underside. A nomad family was shown tidying up and making good the grass where they had pitched a tent to graze their animals before moving on, in a documentary on Siberia that I saw some time back. Then the camera pans to another spot where oil wells, the drilling rig, and drums are left scattered all over by corporate companies that extract oil. 

My home is pretty bright now with a new coat of paint. What started in my daughter's bedroom soon saw the whole home painted in white. It has covered the walls and ceilings that were darkened by years of performing the homam. I guess Agathiyar decided that there was no need for rituals in the future and mooted the move to repaint the home.  

A devotee shared what the astrologer had told her sister as a remedy for her illness. He asked her to repaint the home. The expense incurred in painting would offset the medical bills. The late Dr.Krishnan had told me that according to my horoscope, I would have to face uncalled-for expenses. But this was in exchange for remaining healthy. We just cannot comprehend the divine laws as yet. The Siddhas and saints see through them and choose to remain silent.  

Just as Tavayogi said I made him popular through my writings having many call him or call on him at his ashram, Agathiyar had me just pen the posts and he took them to the world. I am amazed indeed seeing the wide readership. I guess the reason he cut me off from existing movements during my search to know the Siddha path and placed me directly under the tutorship of Tavayogi was to mold new thoughts and ways using me as a tool, breaking away from the rigid views held by many who came to the path before me. I did my own home puja to the Siddhas initially alone and later joined by the family after Tavayogi asked that I include them too. Later Agathiyar sent many youths to join the puja and carry out charity too. But though we gathered at my home that took on the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), it was never to become a movement with followers. When many movements in the name of Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal scan potential seekers before admitting them, laying rules and regulations on the onset that they needed to adhere to, and expect devotees to turn up weekly and participate in all their events, break away into fragments because of differing ideologies or rather egos, and compete and fight to host events among them, we at AVM embraced all those who dropped by or were sent over to watch and participate in the rituals and puja and encouraged them to start the worship of the Siddhas in their own homes. We encouraged them to carry out charity according to their means with the families. 

I was told by Agathiyar in my very first Nadi reading that in a former birth as a Namboothri priest, I had gone against the teaching and practice as enshrined and followed by the priestly kind and hence earned their wrath and curse. Now following the Siddha path I tend to lean away from the norms and practices that many on this path follow out of fear of breaking age-old traditions and practices. We at AVM searched, researched, and put into practice and dropped those beliefs and practices that hindered the growth of the soul and its empowerment. Today we are freed of the chains that tie many down in the path. 

The words of John Newton in his song "Amazing Grace" beautifully describe this.

Amazing grace (how sweet the sound)
that saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
was blind, but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
and grace my fears relieved;
how precious did that grace appear
the hour I first believed!

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come:

'tis grace has brought me safe thus far,
and grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me,
his word my hope secures;
he will my shield and portion be
as long as life endures.

Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
and mortal life shall cease:
I shall possess, within the veil,
a life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
the sun forbear to shine;
but God, who called me here below,
will be forever mine.

(Source: https://hymnary.org/text/amazing_grace_how_sweet_the_sound)

Now I understand why Lord Muruga said I shall do it differently when he asked me to build a temple for him. Could this be partly the reason I took birth again? 

WINDING DOWN

The reason there was no post the last few days is that my home was in a mess as painting works were underway. My daughter had asked that I replace her bedroom window in our small humble home of some 30 years. She also wanted a fresh coat of paint and that was white. Agathiyar stepped in again sending our kindly neighbor of a few doors away to do the work. He had replaced two windows earlier, done up the kitchen counter telling my wife that it was a gift from him, and threw in a fresh coat of paint that was white as a bonus. As I had to push several pieces of furniture around making way for the painters I had the dreaded pain come back in my lower back which affected my mobility. But as I had to push back the furniture after the painting works were over, as they were in the way, I stood before Agathiyar or what remains of the oil lamp and his staff now in my prayer room, in the wee hours of 2 a.m. and told him to bring some relief. I took a pinch of the sacred ash that we had adorned him with during an abhisegam or libation in the past that he had us fortify with some turmeric and basil which he told us to consume for all our ailments. If Agathiyar had in the past given herbal remedies in the Nadi and later treated us through his devotees, doctors, physiotherapists, gym instructors, Varma masters, and energy healers, this time around he came in me and picked up the peacock feathers and warmed them in the heat of the burning oil lamp and brushed my body with it. He brought the Prapanjam down which healed the pain immediately bringing instant relief. It might sound unbelievable. I could move back the furniture later. 

Knowing Siddhas are able to help out with their karma, seekers seek out the Nadi to learn ways to burn their karma to ashes. Thereafter, it is entirely a question of belief. While I sat in awe and amazement as the Nadi was revealed, rather than looking at the message, some turned their sight to the reader or the tool. They had suspicions crop up regarding the readers and the contents of the Nadi. As for those like me who simply follow everything said to the word, we see instant results. 

Seekers come to the Siddha path thinking it's another variant of temple worship. They frequent centers established in the name of Siddhas to participate in the events organized. It stops there. Some who choose to bring back the Siddhas into their homes, add yet another picture or painting of a Siddha to their existing collection of pictures of Gods at their altar and start worshiping and praying, again, asking for their needs and favors. Once granted they move on to do their heart and mind's bidding and turn up at his door the next time misfortune strikes. This goes on and on in a cycle. No one wants to move out of it. They drag themselves to come into Yoga. Some might pick up the trades of the Siddhas as predicting the future by reading the Nadi or charting the horoscope, treating the body with Siddha medicines, and taking them up as an occupation falling into a comfort zone as money and respect come by, forgetting to pursue the struggle to reach the ultimate goal that keeps shifting as we journey on this mysterious path of creation to meet the creator himself. This is known only as we wind down and go within. Having us give ourselves in external activities there comes a time when we are told to halt and look within us. 

From a discovery of external things, he has brought us to discover the Self. In coming to them they bring us to know the Self and its purpose. In the Self resides all our needs. In rediscovering the Self and bringing it to take its rightful place we too stay connected and stand divine. 

How can we repay his love, compassion, kindness, mercy, care, and grace? Pentatonic brings us the song "Amazing Grace" by John Newton which sums up the divine grace beautifully.

1 Amazing grace (how sweet the sound)

that saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found,

was blind, but now I see.

2 'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

and grace my fears relieved;

how precious did that grace appear

the hour I first believed!

3 Through many dangers, toils and snares

I have already come:

'tis grace has brought me safe thus far,

and grace will lead me home.

4 The Lord has promised good to me,

his word my hope secures;

he will my shield and portion be

as long as life endures.

5 Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,

and mortal life shall cease:

I shall possess, within the veil,

a life of joy and peace.

6 The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,

the sun forbear to shine;

but God, who called me here below,

will be forever mine.

(Source: https://hymnary.org/text/amazing_grace_how_sweet_the_sound)

LIFE IS A GIFT

A reader following this blog for some time, later met up with me and told me that I was the only one who had written something good about her motherland after my maiden visit. Others would have loads of complaints upon returning home to Malaysia. I had gone abroad to carry out my remedies or parikaram given by Agathiyar. Everything else was secondary even the request by my wife to chart the horoscope for our second daughter while I was overseas. I chose to see the good side of things, taking in the sights and sounds of a country new to me though my father was from there. Hence I only wrote about the many magical moments I had while there. 

As time went by I saw the turn of events all around the world and how man was breaking the bounds of natural law and that of man-made laws, wrecking this beautiful world that we have come to inherit, I told my family asking let the world end before man brings an end to it by his mass destruction of natures resources and all on the face of the world. My daughter suddenly quipped in, "No I haven't lived my life yet!" Indeed she was then a teen eagerly looking forward to life while we were on the fringe of closing our lives chapter. 

In the Movie "Jesus Resurrection" a reporter for a magazine who usually covered wars, riots, and politics was unusually sent to cover the story of the hippies and Jesus. He tells a young man at a mass, "Our country is a dark divided place. But in that tent, there is hope and unity and miracles that I can't even explain... I don't even know if any of this is real" referring to the church that was conducted under a tent to accommodate the large and growing crowd. Indeed in God's presence, we lose ourselves and at the height of our joy and bliss we forget the world and our worries.

Agathiyar too had consoled me to hang on there when I voiced out to him how was I to carry out his asking in going within if the disturbances from the noise and din in the neighborhood pursued. He said this was the prize we paid for staying in the city amidst development and technology. Yogi Ramsuratkumar too had implied that it was indeed difficult in this age where we have a myriad of waves in the airways that interfere with the connection to God that takes place in those rare moments of silence. Agathiyar added that even if I were to head for the forest there would be disturbances in other forms. Supramnaia Swami too had to face the noise and din from a workshop that sprung overnight next door to the kudil we built for him at Tiruvannamalai. But being a Gnani he told a friend who visited him that it did not bother him. But as I was then beginning to sit and contemplate, I found it rather difficult to shut off these noises. Just when Agathiyar asked me to go within and also sleep in his room which was my prayer room, the noises started. Being a spoilt child I told him to remove the cause and I would sit in meditation and sleep there, otherwise, I was leaving and would leave. Till today I have failed to meditate except for a couple of rare moments where I slipped into a space that I wasn't sure if I had dozed off while sitting, was in dreamland, or had actually stepped into a different portal where I had a vision of watching libation to the Sivalingam. At another time I just was there in an expanse of space being a witness, just being present.  

And now I have grandchildren who look forward to starting a life as a kid, teen, a young adult, and later have their own families. Shouldn't we give them a conducive environment to grow in? They have come to regard me as a playmate for they always engage me in their play. I jokingly told one of my granddaughters that she had no respect for my age, calling on a 63-year-old to play with a three-year-old. But it is fun to be with them. If I had felt young and dynamic in the company of the 30 youths whom Agathiyar sent over to my home to witness and participate and carry out the Siddha puja at home and in the temples, and to carry out charity and feeding, these days I feel even younger in the company of my grandchildren. 

Above and beyond all these is to be in the company of nature. A stroll through the park, walking in the woods, watching fish and tortoises in the pond, having the wind blow across our faces, and gazing at the night sky, turn on our sensory receptors and immediate joy comes on within us. 

Watching the movie "Everest" I remember Balamurugan telling me that at one juncture he began to question himself as to what was he doing walking up to Mount Kailash. It was difficult terrain and they had to encounter breathing difficulties due to the changes in altitude and the freezing cold made things worse. In the movie too the trackers begin to question the motive of their quest. 

As it is, life presents challenges to us. Some chose to face new challenges taking on new ventures. At the end of the day, we can sit back and recall these experiences and gain fulfillment and satisfaction that we have lived life fully either in pursuing our dreams or in giving ourselves fully to the service of others. 

THE COMPASSIONATE SIDDHAS

As Lockdown says to Optimus Prime in "Transformers: Age of Extinction", “You think you were born? No, you were built,” man too is built bit by bit by an intelligence, not the one we know now as A.I. What or who is this intelligence then who so beautifully crafted man and all his creations and gave life to it and released it to go about to do his hearts desire or doing His work through a handful? Man is then given the gift to create the things that shall assist his journey in walking the face of the earth, nay even to go beyond the earth and venture into space. He in turn creates A.I.

Man with his intelligence has contributed to the internet just as much as he has contributed to the wealth of information in the Akasha. The net never fails us in our searches. So does Akasha aka Prapanjam. Agathiyar says all we ever wanted to know is in it. It is a matter of tapping into it. I guess the Siddhas tapped into it in their free time downloading the past, present, and future of some individual's lives and wrote it for man to read and interpret to these seekers when the time is right for them to know. These came to be known as the Nadi or Olai Suvadi.

Man who is well equipped for his survival becomes a slave to money among many other things. This money comes through hard work. Yet there are many who work even harder than others but only make sufficient to survive. Why doesn't the effort they placed produce the same results as with others? Some have life going easy for them while others have to burn themselves out. It looks like there is an underlying mechanism that determines what one should receive. Is this what karma is all about? If so just like my grandaughter asked how God came about and who was the very first God, what was the very first karma I did that brought on suffering or for that matter a better life, or did life itself begin with suffering and change for the better with our good deeds? 

Life is all about breaking loose from the chains and shackles of life and progressing further. Karma is one link in this chain. Just as a seed that carries the ingredients for life to transform it into a tree given the right conditions, breaks loose from the soil or earth and starts a journey growing towards the sun and its roots towards water, the energy dormant in man breaks loose of his hold on soil and earth, heads for water, fire, air and ether transforming itself from gross and seen to the subtle and unseen but felt. 

We are so attracted to the earth's elements and its many forms that we find it difficult to surrender and let go. It is indeed a battle to set free ourselves from the grasp of these gross elements. Once we are free of the pull of the earth and the pleasures, we flow free without limitations just like water does, going with the flow. Just as the sun heats up the water in ponds, lakes, and seas into steam and vapor, with tapas and austerities that bring on the heat further transformation takes place.  Now as ether, we enter the space around us leaving behind all forms. 

It is about breaking the hold of the elements that came together to give us a form, setting free the life breath that sustained us all these while. This would be akin to returning back into the elements. The Siddhas, on the other hand, opted to withhold the breath in the body, by first cleansing the vessel for instance with Agathiyar Kuzhambu, and purifying it by bringing on greater volumes of Prana from the Prapanjam through Pranayama and strengthening the fortress by taking, for instance, Kaya Kalpam. With the aid of the breath that once gave us a tug and started its cycle in us, it gives another tug again at the Muladhara, this time to awake the sleeping energies to arise and do their work that is His too. As these energies travel up transformations take place within that bridge him to the realms of the Gods. Upon arrival at the door to the Lord's kingdom, the Siddhas are given further tasks to carry out. Rather than earn salvation for their souls they remain or return to help others achieve the same. When their time is up, they join the many other Siddhas in doing God's work in his realm.

WALKING WITH AGATHIYAR

I was surprised to see a surge in readers from Singapore in the past week. I guess the reason Agathiyar has me write is to bring together his followers not physically but through this amazing tool that is made available to us in current times. The number of followers that this blog has is not because they know me personally but because they know Agathiyar and want to read my experiences and those of others in walking with him. Let us take a walk now. And as we walk we shall cherish the many moments Agathiyar came into our lives to lift us, care for us, heal us, calm us down, explain things, and many more. 

I guess people find solace and a balm to heal their souls in these words as many have informed me. They see solutions in these posts for their problems, they tell me. I am glad that I could help by bringing the words of the Siddhas and gurus, the wise and learned, the educated and also the simple folks to my readers. I surely have benefited from these writings as I go through them again and again and am amazed at the amount of understanding I come to gain. 

Mithu Storoni a Neuro Ophthalmologist who is interviewed by Dan Buettner in "Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zone" says of stress, "One of the ways in which stress is beneficial is if we overcome it by active coping. Today in our open world through social media, and news media we are brought all the problems of the whole world."

And we bring it to the dining table, into our living rooms, into our office, and social gatherings discussing them. I had relatives who arrive and walk up to us and draw a chair and instead of asking how everybody was doing mention a hot happening either in politics or around the world and start the conversation going. Often I am left out and I make my exit. If on the other hand, I find someone on the same frequency to whom I could talk about Agathiyar and the Siddhas and who knew Tavayogi I could hold them up for hours.

She continues, "These are problems you cannot physically control. But you can control how you treat your goat to make sure your flock is healthy. And this sense of active coping where you can resolve the problems that you are given is a very important part of mental health, cognitive longevity, and stress resilience."

We understand now why people in the past lived longer. They were practically cut off from others over the mountains and around the globe and had little to chew on as regards to happenings around them. They knew their neighbors and worked as a community and came to the aid of those in their community. 

It is saddening to read one of today's headlines: "Nearly a million people out of 14.8 million surveyed by the government in 2020 have never spoken to their neighbors." The online news quotes sociologist Shatar Sabran, in interpreting the census’s outcome. He said the concept of neighborliness appears to be losing importance, especially in large cities. Another academic, Nur Hafeeza Ahmad Pazil of Universiti Sains Malaysia, said the disconnect between neighbors might be more apparent in apartment and condominium buildings in large cities. “Kampung folk have more time to interact with neighbors, as they bump into them at an eatery, mosque, or during gotong-royong,” she said.

But Dan Buettner comes to find out from Chan Heng Chee that Singapore gives out incentives like giving out the Proximity Housing Grant to families which encourages them to live either stay under the same roof with their old and aging family members or stay close by hence encouraging the families to remain intact. It is a way of getting children to look after their parents and take care of them, she says. Dan agrees that nations should follow and emulate such policies of this small island republic.

LEARNING TO LET GO

Most of us do not know when to draw the line, call it a day, or simply let go. A student would burn the midnight oil just before facing his exams, and a career man and woman would go on and on working on a project not knowing when to call it a day or draw a line. The elderly and retired just can't seem to let go of their hold on family and others. Many hold on to relationships that are unbearable hoping for a silver lining. 

A grandma voiced her concern regarding her granddaughter and had been schooling her about the choice of profession that she should take up once she completes her secondary schooling. She was worked up and appeared worried. I asked her why she was worried about her grandaughter's future. If her granddaughter was ill then there was a need to get worried and pray for her recovery. That is what grandparents should do. Grandparents just cannot go on rambling as their experiences and thoughts are most likely to be outdated unless they are IT savvy and keep up with current times and technologies. Sadly most of them live in a dinosaur age and start to preach to the young. They just cannot seem to let go. Give the poor child a break. Give her some breathing space, please. A man in his 80s who once was in the political arena is fed news and current developments and kept updated about politics by relatives and friends. Give him a break, please. He has retired from politics. A lady turned up at Supramania Swami's kudil while I was there in 2005. She was going through hell in her married life. Hearing her out Swami said something that surprised me but made her tears turn to joy and laughter. He told her to leave him. She left laughing all the way until she disappeared from our sight. 

Someone called me up and asked if I had any souvenirs that we sold and also gifted to some made specifically to commemorate the launching of the audio CD "Agathiyar Geetham" many years back. I had none extra. But I told them to come over and collect mine. This is the last possession that is going to move out. Agathiyar is pretty fond of giving away his things to devotees who drop by AVM. He has given away numerous Pathugai or sandals and VaasiKol or his staff and is known to replenish them in some way. He even gave away his famed statue at AVM to a devotee. I am glad that I could accept these giveaways and his departure with ease. I have to thank Supramania Swami, Tavayogi, and Agathiyar for molding me to let go of my hold on things perishable and instead seek the Prapanjam that holds wonders and provides for all our needs.   

For instance, some years back when we were engaged in puja, a devotee highlighted the condition of the broken glass pane of my window, I stopped to enquire a contractor who was doing some work several doors away. He told me he doesn't do windows. I left. But a neighbor who was a bystander to our conversation turned up and volunteered to replace the windows. He went on to suggest that I replace our makeshift kitchen counter too. Later Agathiyar tells my wife that he had gifted her knowing the need of the day. Just days ago as I was having a problem replacing the water closet in my toilet, I sought him out to help. We decided to replace another two windows too as they had aged over the 30 years of existence. He volunteered to paint my daughter's room white too. This was my daughter's wish too. Agathiyar has gifted her a conducive room to do her work online. 

LONGEVITY

What is the secret to longevity? Dan Buettner in "Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zone" attempts to find a single recipe but receives more than he expected. He says that there is this concept in Okinawa Japan called Ikigai. Each individual has a purpose and works to leave his mark behind and be remembered. A kind of mission and a sense of purpose. Dr. Makoto Suzuki thinks having a purpose in life is the main factor in the spiritual health of centenarians. "If we lose the Ikigai we will die," he adds. 

I guess we are only around as long as we have a purpose. My mother used to tell us that she had no use hanging around further as she reached the ripe age of 96. My father who passed away at 76 too had settled to move over to the other realm tending to pulling out weeds in the garden. Both my parents could move around and attend to their needs. 

What have the Siddhas to say? They say that we come with a certain number of breaths that once exhausted and leaves the body for good, leaves us dead. We are alive as long as the breath keeps coming in. If it leaves and never returns we are presumed dead. On the other hand if it stays in we are said to be in Samadhi. Yoga techniques and practices are meant to add to the number of breaths and hence add on to one's life span. I noticed the volume of air inhaled increase tremendously as I carried out the simple Pranayama practices that Tavayogi showed me and a handful of others during his visit to Malaysia in 2007. It was invigorating and replenished the general health. Soon unknowingly it knocked on the door of the Muladhara and awoke the sleeping serpent that made its way up only to stagnate at Manipuraka, ponding for several years. It was only in 2022 that the dam was broken by the divine hand and I saw the ponded energies force rush up further within days and finally reach the Sahasrara bringing on the blooming and flowering of the 1,000 petals. Ever since then, it has been there, even now as I pen these words. 

I do not know if my life expectancy has increased ever since Agathiyar predicted some 80 years for me reading my Nadi for the very first time in 2002. I am now 64. But just as life is not cast in metal or stone but given in a statue, man has the gift to transform himself and his body, mind, and soul. But anything is possible. Agathiyar who was preparing Jnana Jothiamma once she came out of her hibernation where she shed her skin and purged toxins and underwent tremendous bodily changes and transformation, to return to America in 2017 and come over to Malaysia later to preach before returning to India, convinced Agathiyar otherwise and Agathiyar had to grant her wish. She passed away on 4 April 2017 on Indian soil.

So what determines one's life expectancy? So many factors and findings can be placed before us. But Agathiyar tells us that once the soul gives up the journey ends. Even the Gods cannot revive one who has given up on life. Agathiyar in asking the family of a bedridden man to carry out remedies on his behalf also strictly mentioned that he must have his spirits high and believe in his recovery over and over again. But the man passed away. There is never a Nadi reading for a dead man but Agathiyar made an exception. Calling his next of kin for a reading, Agathiyar asked "What should I do? On one hand, we were trying to save him but his soul asked to be relieved. He wanted to leave."

So there seems to be more than science can explain about one's life expectancy. I believe we need both sciences to comprehend life fully. What science fails to explain religion and spiritualism could give clues and vice versa. Let us have an open mind while journeying in life. Enlightenment could come at any time and through anyone and by any means.

DOING GOD'S WORK

In the Movie "Jesus Resurrection" the pastor's wife tells him "Don't be so arrogant to think that God cannot work through your failures." Indeed if we truly believe that it is all God's work then failures too are to be accepted just as we rejoice in success. 

A reporter for a magazine who covered wars, riots, and politics when sent to cover hippies and Jesus did not want to accept the assignment thinking it was beneath him, says to a young man, "Our country is a dark divided place. But in that tent there is hope and unity and miracles that I can't even explain... I don't even know if any of this is real" referring to the church that was conducted under a tent to accommodate the large and growing crowd. Lonnie Frisbee had told Pastor Chuck earlier "You gonna need a bigger church", soon after he admitted Lonnie and his "people" into his church. 

Agathiyar too had justified the need to move house back then when we were at the peak of our activities telling me that it could not accommodate the growing crowd. When I refused to budge he suggested that I expand my existing home. Finally, he gave up on me just as he had given up on me after I never moved to build a temple for him and Lord Muruga. 

We learn a lesson from the pastor's daughter who was proud of her dad opening up to something he did not understand. We make the mistake of wanting to know the A to Z of things before beginning or committing ourselves. We want to know the destination before we even depart. We forget that it is a path of discovery for oneself. If we are to read up on something or someone else's journey before even starting we would only carry what we had read with us and fail to discover for ourselves, often expecting the same to happen or take place. I guess that was the reason Lord Shiva came in a dream and asked me to put off all my questions for that moment in 1988, hence bringing a halt to all reading, worship, and questioning. It was 14 years later that he set me on a new journey of discovery that answered my doubts and queries. 

Balamurugan who returned from Kailash in 2011 never asked what was in store upon arrival. He had lost his job and was lost. He wanted to find the meaning of life. He found it in the wonders of nature. Standing before the majestic mountain he felt so small. Standing in the midst of age-old rocks and mountains he felt like an infant. He found himself and found God too. Similarly, Siddha physician Arivan when he goes climbing hills locally and in India never wants to know what is ahead and to be expected. These are the people who really discover things for themselves. I too never asked what to expect, neither did Tavayogi brief me about our expedition into the hills and jungles. It was sheer amazement of discovering nature and the Siddhas.

Pastor Chuck buys a little church that was deserted after the leadership had some issues and emptied the place taking everything with them, leaving an empty abandoned building. He hands the keys to the church to a young man telling him that it is now his church and that it was an empty canvas that was perfect for an artist like him to craft. He says "This movement started at Calvary but it can't stay here so go build something great. The young man baptizes some new arrivals from Texas as Chuck watches from afar and from a clifftop at Pirates Cove, pleased that he had passed on the baton to the next generation to continue God's work here.

Agathiyar too had relieved me of my responsibilities. As I never wanted to start a  center and have many gather, but instead was rejoiced to see them bring back the worship of the Siddhas into their homes and to their families, Tavayogi too had a wish to see each home turn into an Agathiyar Vanam. This was conveyed by Lord Murugan himself coming through a deity. If I had gone on a discovery of temples and home puja after reading books on religion and spiritualism back then as a bachelor and if I had gone on a discovery of the Siddhas after reading the Nadi, Tavayogi brought me on a true discovery and a true journey as he told me just as we left the hotel into the caves and jungles. Just as Agathiyar had me discover the path further bringing many seekers over to my home to participate in puja and charity, he had me discover myself by having me go into solitude. It is now a journey of discovery of another kind, having me zip up once a week for starters. As Tavayogi frequently says, "What shall behold me? Only he knows" I too am asking the same these days. It is best that we do not know what is in store for us. We shall sleep in peace and be at peace with ourselves. 

TASTING THE ELIXIR

Once we believe in God, he sets us free - free not to carry on and do our thing or indulge in our worldly pleasures further but instead letting go of our hold on them and finally experiencing true freedom in every sense. He replaces our ambitions, desires, likes, and wants with his. He sets aside our fate and charts a new destiny. He takes us into his arms, with love and care. There is no escape once we are caught in his clutches and his tight grip. With attention to our daily needs and lives taken care of, he then has us do his work here. This applies to the guru too, as eventually we come to realize that they are one. Just as Tavayogi says of the bee that stings a worm, molding it into its form, Yogi Ramsuratkumar says the same of the potential seeker being molded by his guru. “The King Bee would bring any potential worm to its nest and would sting all the time till it becomes another King Bee. Likewise, a Guru also works on his disciples till the disciples get to the state of the Guru. The process is painful but there is no escape. Even if you want to escape from the Guru, the Guru will not leave you. Like a frog in the mouth of a King Cobra, the disciple cannot escape from Guru."

But religious heads, spiritual leaders, masters, gurus, and upagurus must open their hearts first, and accept all immaterial of their faith, beliefs, following, understanding, knowledge, and economic standing. Religious instituitions, temples, churches, and mosques must keep their doors open at all times for the hungry seeker who literally seeks food to appease his hunger, the religious seeker wanting to understand the ways of his religion, the spiritual seeker seeking to know his Atma, and the hurt and wounded who want to find some solace in the words of God and be in his presence.

In the movie "Jesus Revelation", Lonnie Frisbee speaks about his journey to pastor Chuck Smith. "There is an entire generation right now searching for God. I kept searching and searching and just finally got to the end of it. There was still a void. And my people .. well... they are a desperate bunch. In desperation... man,... there is power in that word. I know we must seem pretty strange. But if you look a little deeper, if you look with love, you will see a bunch of kids who are searching for all the right things just in all the wrong places. So to answer your question, how do I describe my people.... They are sheep without a shepherd, chasing hard after lies. And the trouble is your people reject them. So I ask you, pastor. How can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? We can only walk through doors open to us. And your church... well... that is the door that is shut." Learning from him, the pastor opens his door to Lonnie Frisbee and some of his friends. 

Looking back at how Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) materialized or rather unfolded, I now understand the work of God and the interest he showed in his children, in opening his door and bringing them over. With spiritual figures who become unapproachable as followers begin to create a divide and separate them from society, with religious appointees carrying out only what they are paid for, and with groups, societies, movements, and establishments laying codes and rules to adhere to, being selective as to who should come or leave, as Lonnie Frisbee asked where and to whom do these souls turn too? Shanga made me realize recently that Agathiyar at AVM accommodated all, embracing them with love, listening to their problems, and providing solutions and food for thought. At times, he healed their pain and their hearts and soul. Only later did he bring the transition within from within. If we rush for year-end sales, festive sales, moving out sales, and closing down sales, as they are only around for a short period of time, Agathiyar intended AVM to be around just sufficiently long enough for a handful to pick up the tricks of the trade and move on. With whatever they could pick up from within its four walls, he set them to continue on their individual journey, promising that he would come to herd them back to the pen. Those few who came to learn and took it back gained immensely from the happenings and experiences that followed and that took place within these walls. As a devotee quipped jokingly that he had to spend much and face difficulties, and exercise and prepare himself first before heading for Kailash, where he had to face breathing difficulties, and only then could come to a realization, as for us at AVM Agathiyar created a portal and had all deities and devotees come over. Indeed Tavayogi too did mention with a note of surprise that we had come to Agathiyar pretty easily while he had to scout the tough terrains both externally and internally before seeing him. I am glad I toed the line, though I had told him off at times and stood to my stand on certain matters. But eventually, he made me understand the bigger picture and the bigger purpose in life. When Tavayogi left his family and home to become a mendicant, his daughter could not accept it. Agathiyar in a Nadi reading told her to see the bigger purpose. If he was to remain with her, he would only be a father to her. If she lets him go, he shall be a father to all. 

Tavayogi who traveled the length and breadth of India, decided to find a place to go into Samadhi after spending some 4 years in tavam and coming down from Sathuragiri. But Agathiyar had a much larger task for him on hand and waiting for him. He had him look for a place called Agathiyar Vanam. Tavayogi finally located it at the foothills in Kallar. He squatted at a run-down temple and later was shown a piece of land where he was allowed to pitch an ashram by the village head in the late 1990s. This came to be the Agathiyar Gnana Peedham. Agathiyar had him leave for Malaysia to plant the seed and spread the teachings of the Siddhas in 2004 following in the footsteps of his Paramaguru Jeganatha Swami and Guru Chitramuthu Adigal. I met him the second time he came down in 2005 and the seed was planted in this soil. A guru-disciple relationship bloomed. It had flowered, as Tavayogi told me and my family on our visit to Kallar in 2013. Coming to Malaysia in 2016 he told the AVM family that the seed he planted had borne fruits, seeing and following the growth of AVM in a matter of a mere 4 years. It was all due to the grace of the guru and the divine. It was all due to the work they put in us. It was all due to their concern and care to bring salvation to us. If nothing moves without the will of God in this world, and no transformation takes place without the given experiences, similarly, only the will of the guru can move us to achieve greater heights spiritually.

Swami Muktananda explains why one needs a master in "Kundalini - The Secret of Life", Siddha Yoga Publication, 1994, (Muktananda, Kundalini - The Secret of Life, 1994), 

“If he tries to discover a path by himself, he will simply go around in circles, walking for a long time but never reaching his goal. The Guru has found everything you are seeking; that which you want has become the Guru’s wealth. The difference between you and the Guru is that you are the seed and the Guru is the full-grown tree; you are the beginning, and he is the end.”

What happens with the coming of a master? Srinath Raghavan posted the following on fb.

We all live in a personal bubble of our own,

A bubble that is highly colorful but opaque,

So nothing outside it's purview is ever seen by us,

We live and die our life, inside this fantastic bubble,

Thinking and believing whatever is in it is the only truth,

Nothing outside can ever exist and it should not too,

We can very well break its brittle wall from the inside,

But we choose not to, for fear of being exposed to uncertainty,

When with the touch of the Master from outside, the bubble breaks,

That's when we will finally realize, how foolish and limited we were,

To have accepted the truth that's known to us, as the Final Truth...

~ Freedom is breaking the bubble and seeing and feeling the reality beyond your own.

Yes, with the touch of the Master from the outside, the bubble breaks, and reality dawns. Then, as Ramana Maharishi says, "... the spiritual energy of a master transforms the consciousness of men."

Paul Zweig in the introduction to Swami Muktananda’s ‘The Perfect Relationship', SYDA Foundation, 1985, writes about the moment the master came into Muktananda's life.

"After almost twenty-five years, he met Bhagawan Nithyananda, who became his guru. In a flash of self-understanding, he knew that he had found his other half; that now he was whole again."

If Swami Muktananda describes his guru as his other half Agathiyar tells us that the soul or Atma residing in the deep reaches of our hearts and self, that is the Self, is indeed one's own guru who had been imprisoned by the ego that arises its ugly hood and sends the Atma into the dungeons.

Tavayogi in his "Atma Thattuvam" writes that the Jeeva brings together the body or Udal and breath or Uyir, and thrives with it, running the household. உடலும் உயிரும் சேர்ந்து செயல்படுகின்ற ஒரு பொருளைதான் ஜீவன் என்கிறோம். உயிர் உடல் இரண்டையும் இணைத்து வைக்கின்ற ஒப்பற்ற கருவியே ஆத்மா எனப்படும். Like Agathiyar says, Tavayogi too states that the Atma is a tool that binds both the Uyir and Udal. It takes charge and control of the Udal and Uyir. But the reason we cannot identify it is that it is subtle in nature, as opposed to the gross nature of the Udal which is known through the senses, and the Uyir which is known when awareness is brought to the breath. 

Agathiyar through a short memo to us explained further.

ஆன்மா உடலையும் உயிரையும் தனது கட்டுப்பாட்டுக்குள் வைத்துக் கொள்ளும் ஒரு சூச்சமம். இந்தச் சூச்சமத்தை பிறந்த குழந்தைகள் 1  முதல் 5 வராகை வரையிலும் உடன் இருந்து மறையும். மறைத்தலின் காரணம் இன்னதென்று இப்போது உனக்குச் சொல்ல இயலாது. ஆனபோதிலும் ஆன்மா ஒருவரின் செயலைப் பொறுத்தே மீண்டும் அவனை வந்து சேரும். ஆன்மா உன்னோடு இருந்து உன்னை ஒரு பாதைக்கு இழுத்து செல்லும் அப்போது நீ அதனை உணர்ந்தாள், உன்னில் அதிர்வாய் தோன்றி மறையும். அந்த அதிர்வினை நீ உனக்குள் நீடிக்கப் பழகினால் உன்னால் ஆன்மா என்னும் உனது அதிர்வுகளில் ஊடுருவி என்னுள் (இறை / அகத்தியன்) வந்து சேர ஒரு வழி. 

When we are caught in the grips of personal ego and Maya or illusion in this world, we never realize the existence of the Atma until a physical guru comes along and the guru within is awakened. The guru brings our awareness to our Atma and brings us to realize the Self, hence gaining Self-realization. The guru then walks away having touched another soul and creating another milestone on the path. 

Swami Muktananda says, 

"That word (Guru Om), which I received after so many years, spread through my body from head to toe like wildfire carried by the wind. It produced in me both inner heat and the coolness of joy. Before meeting my guru, I had practiced many different kinds of yoga, but it was I who had practiced them. However, that word activated a spontaneous yoga within me. I was filled with amazement."

He says everything - postures, Mudras, and breathing processes - all happened on its own. He became ecstatic.

"After the awakening of the Shakti, this process of yogic movements began to take place within my entire body. The pulsation of his ecstasy pervades my entire body like the movement of the wind. The Kriyas were his, the yoga was his, and meditation took place because of him. The final message that I received was from him. The power of his word permeates each of my blood cells; the fluids of my entire body are his. That is why I am joyful. Gurudev entered me and replaced all my bodily fluids with his. He evicted me and took up residence in me. He annihilated my ego. By making my individuality his, he became me. This is the guru’s compassion. Only when I lost myself in the ecstasy of Bhagawan Nithyananda did I realize who he was.

Swami Muktananda says his joy arises from the one word - Guru Om; from the churning of the love between the guru and the disciple. He adds, "Only the guru can know that delight and taste the elixir that arises in every pore of the body." Ramalinga Adigal too sings that only the Divine Lord knows the delight and joy that he was feeling in him. The Divine that knows shares with other souls his delight and taste of the elixir. Are we prepared to taste it?

Today I fully understand his ways and methods. Giving in to his wishes and play sees an entirely different story being written. Even his predictions change as he plays the divine game. His story is not set in earth and stone, but rather one written in fire, water, air, and space. Coming from space, ether, Akasha, call it what you want, it returns to that space, renewed, energized, and modified. If for most they live out their fate, choosing to see only in greyscale, those who come to be embraced by God shall see their lives painted in vivid colors of heaven, as the kid in the movie "Heaven is for Real" describes heaven as "All the colors of the rainbow are in heaven they are all more .. just more and brighter."

HANGING THE CARROT BEFORE THE CART

In "Jesus Revolution" the pastor extends an invitation to the broken, he invites the outcasts, those misunderstood and judged, who feel ashamed and trapped to walk through his church doors any time of the day. "This place is yours. You will find forgiveness and freedom right here. This is your home ", he says. I remember how Agathiyar had strangers arrive at my home, and he began to heal them both physically and mentally. I remember the time he opened my heart and the doors to my home that became AVM for the selected few whom he redirected to AVM after their Nadi readings to learn Siddha puja. These days he brings a select few together to heal their physique, impart divine knowledge or Gnanam, and empower their souls.

One of the congregants tells the pastor that he might need a bigger place. So too did Agathiyar tell me that as the number of devotees increased, my home was way bit too small to accommodate all of them. But I was not keen though to move. Later he suggested that I extend my house. I was pretty satisfied and happy with what I had on hand and was doing then. I never wanted to start a center or a congregation. Agathiyar, Lord Murugan, and even Lord Shiva agreed that I build a temple. Lord Muruga tried to convince me that I would show him in a different light, which puzzled me further. How was that to be? Did he have another form besides the six names and forms at his Arupadai Veedu or six abodes that stood on Indian soil? But going by seeing many things unfold before my eyes at times I feel that rather than complain that things are not done right, I should go ahead and build one and do it differently. Just the other day, after leaving my elder granddaughter at her class and walking over to a temple adjacent to the school with my second granddaughter, I was disturbed by the loud blare of the speakers playing devotional songs. Shouldn't we give some space for devotees to sit and contemplate in the presence of the Lord or sing their hearts out to him rather than play these songs? Similarly, in home puja, we think it is enough that we play, stream, or air songs in our home theatre, hi-fi player, or smartphone. It is not to be so. We have to read and sing these songs, chant these mantras, and recite these holy hymns to actually start a transformation in us. The idea of becoming holy is to start this transformation that turns the physical body, mind, and soul souring towards new heights unimaginable but possible as Ramalinga Adigal did show us just as recently as some 149 years back. None of the saints played someone else music, but instead shared their encounters and experiences by coming out with their own songs by the shower of the divine grace. Many saints of the past had the divine himself come as a guru to them and impart divine knowledge. Those who did have a guru in physical form were sent away to evangelize after they were seen to display divine powers, for there can never be two captains to a ship at any one time.  

If it needed British scientist Sir Arthur Eddington, to bring Albert Einstein fame by experimentally proving the latter's ideas, Tavayogi during our gathering when he visited us in 2016 at the home of a devotee expressed his gratitude to me for bringing him to be known to many through my blog. I felt that that was the least I could do for my guru who kept his distance from money and fame. Later Agathiyar in listing all the fine Dharma beginning with feeding the hungry, and service to people and God, as purposes that are highly regarded in their circle, finally reveals that speaking about one's guru is the ultimate service that a disciple could possibly give of himself.

If I had shared the puja and events that we organized and hosted at AVM over the years on this blog and my YouTube channel, Agathiyar asked me to continue to write, telling me to share the changes taking place as they began to emerge with readers.

Agathiyar lamented to us that no one was adopting the ways of the Siddhas or Siddhar Vazhkai Neri Muraigal some time back. So what is the way of these Siddhas? Just as Agathiyar tells us that he is only sharing the ways, practices, and methods that the Siddhas had tried and lived up to, I can safely give a few tips that I learned from them and put into practice.

Patanjali advocates taking Satvic food and reducing processed food. Ramalinga Adigal who reveals that death in a healthy person is caused by the build-up of phlegm in the nasal passages and lungs, advocates the herb Karisalai. He asked that we use this herb to clear the throat upon awakening. The Siddhas ask us to gurgle our mouth with sesame oil commonly sold as Gingerly oil upon awakening, keeping it in the mouth for some 21 minutes. An oil bath twice a day brings health benefits. Make sure that we massage the oil moving towards and in the direction of the heart. Dissolving salt in a basin of lukewarm water and dipping the feet and palms before retiring for the day brings immense benefits according to Agathiyar who suggested it to my daughter. Palming the eyes and exercising them enhances one's vision. Yogi Ramsuratkumar asked an 80-year-old to take Amla for his failing eyesight. Agathiyar asked us to sprinkle water over our heads first before taking a shower. He asked to wet oneself starting from the feet and moving up. He recommends taking Agathiyar Kuzhambu to cleanse the alimentary tract. He recommended an 83-year-old to do Surya Namaskar. He tells us to leave a few leaves of Basil plant in water and drink it later daily. Ramalinga Adigal asks us to take coconut water for PMS-related pain. We are asked to take Tripala to bring a balance in the ratio of the three dosas keeping them in check.

If these are to keep in check the physical body, Nadi Sutti, alternate breathing, and other Pranayama techniques and Yoga Asanas are to keep our internals healthy besides bringing in an immense amount of life-energy or Prana within. Adopting Patanjali's Yoga Sutras is a good start. The guru in physical form shall come along to fine-tune the practice.

What about the soul then? How do we empower our souls? Through worship and carrying out rituals we cleanse the soul or rather remove the many veils that cover or cloud our soul which is pure by nature but over time is covered with a screen of dirt that prevents us from seeing clearly. All the karmic baggage and learning prevent us from seeing through these veils. These are burnt to ashes with the tool of experience. Experiencing hardship and pain burns away karma. Gaining new experiences overrides previous learning. Goddess Ma in coming to us says that the Siddha path is of learning anew from encountering new experiences that come our way by divine grace.

Agathiyar had offered me numerous carrots along the way, getting me to walk the path and preventing me from stepping off the path. I guess these were incentives handed out to deserving candidates as one travels the journey. But I never took them up, though I stayed on the path till now. Agathiyar asked that I go places and meet gurus and receive their blessings, but I turned it down, telling him that I had him and two wonderful gurus in physical form and that my search had ended. He had offered his Nadi to be read for myself and others, but I turned it down. In sending many over to my home, a center or organized movement or society or Sangam or Peedham could have mushroomed overnight. But I never intended nor wanted that. Asking me, again and again, to build a temple, seeing my refusal, they changed my home into a temple instead, crossing the bridge to arrive in hordes first and later taking time off to rest here and finally moving in with us. After having established a portal they moved and removed all the physical evidence that they were here in my home, leaving behind only their energies and subtle presence, bringing down the Prapanjam to serve us well. 

When we are often told to surrender to God, it does not mean inaction but surrendering the outcome and results of our actions to him. The danger in surrendering to God is that man lets go of all his efforts, but instead begins to look forward for miracles to take place. Though Agathiyar says, "The Siddhas say belief, and it shall happen while man says let it happen, and I shall believe", though a miracle is needed initially to bring a nonbeliever to believe in the divine, its true essence is to bring one to gain strength and confidence to stand on his feet later and finally strengthen and empower his soul. God stands by all those who stand tall. Similarly, God can only help those whose souls are strong.  

Telling me that I had gained sufficient soul empowerment, they sent over several new kids from the block to become disciples and upgraded me to the state of a guru. But as I never wanted that too, the kids left on their own. I am back at peace with myself just as Mother Prapanjam hushed me and promised that she shall take care of all her children, and Ma Lobhamitra asked that I let go of my worries about not being able to bring them to engage fully in the teachings and worship of the Siddhas.

If Tavayogi had taken me on a walk into their abodes and places of residence in nature, if I had walked into a space that I believe was a portal at Palani temple, and if the Siddhas and Gods and Goddesses had walked across from their worlds and realms through a similar portal into my home, if I had at one juncture thought that I should take numerous births and come back to serve Agathiyar as I did now, my last and only wish is to just walk into a portal and into their world and do their work and never return, just as Agathiyar told us that Tavayogi was with him doing his work, and just as Bhagawan Nithyananda and Yogi Ramsuratkumar told their subjects that they could do a better and bigger job in the other realm in subtle form.

COMING ONE FULL CIRCLE

When I was still working back then, one day I was sitting at a table in a Chinese restaurant in Petaling Street having my lunch during my lunch break, when a lady vagabond who lived off the street came and sat at my table. There was a stench from her. How was I to continue eating? Of all the tables why did she pick mine, I asked myself. Seeing her sit at my table the restaurant owner walked up to her and asked her to leave. I did not even have the compassion to call for food for her or part with my food. I had failed the test that day. I am a clean person taking baths several times a day and keeping my home and its surroundings clean too. I detest unpleasant smells and odors, unsightly things, and untidy and disorganized homes having brought what we practiced at work home. The methodology 5S that focused on a clean, uncluttered, safe, and well-organized workplace to help reduce waste and optimize productivity was brought home and implemented too. It became a part of me that I carried around. Was I wrong in being clean? Recently a devotee was hauled up by Agathiyar for not keeping her home clean. I guess my insistence on cleanliness is justified though in their eyes I failed as a humane being. I had failed in many such tests. Another time I just walked by a child who was roaming alone on the streets not even stopping to ask what he was doing alone in the city. I would cross the road to continue my walk on the other side when I saw beggars on the walkways. It never occurred to me to help another. All that changed after I made my maiden journey to India to carry out my remedies. In bringing us to carry out remedies for our past deeds or karma we are introduced to giving or parting with our possessions and money. 

I began to frequent the local affiliate of Agathiyar Sanmarga Sangam, a charity movement at Dengkil after Agathiyar asked me to come to the worship of the Siddhas in my Nadi reading, for at that moment I could only remember them as they were always on the streets collecting donations to feed the poor both here and in India. I included the parent organization Ongkarakudil in Turaiyur in my itinerary upon insistence from these kind souls, Manivannan, Jayanthi, and Anbarasan. I was shown the extent of charity that this organization was carrying out during that brief moment I was at Turaiyur by Nadarajah. I passed on a cash donation to its patron Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar who accepted it in person. When I went over to Kallar ashram two years later, I saw the charity that Tavayogi did, I asked that we carry out feeding while I was there. Tavayogi and I went marketing for vegetables and groceries at the wet market in Methupalaiyam while Mrs. Sarojini, now Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar, roped in the native aborigine women and began to cook up a feast. I saw happiness in the eyes of those kids and adults that day as they feasted on the simple food that we served. When my brother joined us several days later we went shopping for items of clothing to gift these children as Deepavali was nearing. But these kids sensed and sniffed the clothing out of the bags and we had to hand it to them the same day instead of keeping it under wraps to pass it on the big day. With the coming of gurus, they lead us on to carry out charity that brings out love and compassion in us that until then never saw the light of day. It soon becomes a part of our lives, a habit, a character, and a culture. 

Agathiyar in bringing youths to my home in 2013 had us go out and perform feeding and deliver groceries to the hungry and unfortunate and those struggling to bring food to their tables. My home became Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) and its charity arm or wing was named Amudha Surabhi then. Today we at AVM have come one circle. The mountain is a mountain again. We started on a search that brought us to many places and to meet many personalities, events, and happenings that all added to our quest and thirst to know more that has today been quenched as we slowly began to turn back inwards and moved within to the place where we originally started - the void or the nothingness or the zero or the heart as Tavayogi places it. After having us go through and engage in all forms of Maya including puja and the many rituals, eventually, we are brought to this final place where "Nothing" exists. Sheer Nothingness. I was contemplating removing even the oil lamp that I lit in my prayer room after Agathiyar moved his statue to another devotee's home. But I did not have the guts to do it. When Tavayogi came to my home back then he brought me into my prayer room and showed me what was the true Jothi that was spoken much about. The flame from an oil lamp is called Sudar. The light that is emitted all around is Jothi. 

In wanting me to read and reread Tavayogi's book "Andamum Pindamum", Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal I guess wanted me to understand how he saw the creation, the body, spirit, and soul. So I go back again to confirm if my understanding ties up with his and if there are any loose ends or void that is still unanswered. Tavayogi begins by mentioning the existence of the void or Nothingness or VettaVezhi. This was given the name Param. To discover the secret of this VettaVezhi is to know the secret of existence. This VettaVezhi had a color to it and was named SivaRubam. It shone as Jothi. This was named Sivan. Sivan has other names too namely SittargalVezhi, UchaVezhi, Tanivezhi, YegaVezhi, OliVezhi, VezhiyilVezhi, ParaVezhi, IndraGnanaVezhi, GnanaVezhi, PeruVezhi, UyarVezhi, NathantaVezhi, VethantaVezhi, PaalVezhi, MupaalVezhi, MutraPaal, ChitraKuttam, and ManiMandapam. With the grace of the ParaParam, Sivan in desiring to begin creation brought forth Sivam. Thus from Param or VettaVezhi came forth Sivam.

Kannadhasan equates the kingdom of God as the zero from where he rules all of creation. It comes as no surprise when the famed Dr. Shakuntala Dewi who fell in love with numbers even as a three-year-old child and came to travel the world giving talks and demonstrations of her marvelous talent in mathematics, regards the zero as a symbol for a void or nothingness. Although simply 'nothing' it makes a vast difference and importance in terms of its presence and positioning in a number. She reveals a stark truth that the zero has the capability of destroying another number - zero times anything is zero. (Source: Figuring the Joy of Numbers, Orient Paperbacks, 1994)

A piece from the blog http://hinduspritualarticles.blogspot.com/2014/04/blog-post_26.html,

அறிவைத் தேடித் தன் மனத்தில் இருந்து புறப்பட்டவன், தன்னை நோக்கித் திரும்பி, ஒரு வட்டமடித்துத் தனது மனத்துக்குள்ளே இறங்கும்போதுதான், அவனது தேடல் பூரணமடைகின்றது. உலகில் அனைத்தும் உண்டு என்பதையும், ஆனால், எதுவுமே நிலையானதில்லை என்பதையும் புரியவைக்கும் பூரணம் இது. தேடுதலைத் தன்னிலே இருந்து தொடங்கி தன்னிலேயே முடிக்கும் வட்டம்தான் பூரணம். இந்தப் பூரணத்தின் குறியீடுதான் பூஜ்ஜியம். தூய தமிழில், சுழியம், when translated, brings across the idea that with a single line, one would not be able to state whether it is long or short. You need another line laid or drawn adjacent to it. A line never ends; only we would have run out of paper or space. The only way to say that the line has ended is to slowly curve it till it meets the starting point or the start of the line. An eclipse or circle emerges then. The line becomes Puranam or complete. Similarly, the only way to say that we have reached the end of the road is to go within. All the search outwards ends then. Tavayogi says the same too. In autographing my copy of his "Andamum Pindamum" he signed off that "Aandavan Uraigindra Edam Thangal Ullam, Athuve Payanathin Thodakkamum, Mudivum" when translated meant, "God lives in your heart, from where the journey starts and ends too. Reading Ram Dass's book, "Going Home", where he says "When I don't know who I am, I serve you. When I know who I am, I am you", I fully understand why Agathiyar questioned me back asking if I really and truly wanted to come back taking more births just to serve him as I did now. 

When there was a time when we enriched ourselves, literally, and also deepened our knowledge, there came a time when we had to shed the baggage too as we did with our past actions and karma. If the reality that we see, feel, know, and live out is all Maya, the question arises as to why bother in the very first place? Why bother to even take care of this body if it is perishable too? We learn that it is to bring us to an understanding that nothing exists forever and has us enjoy what we are given and not become attached to it. When the time comes to let go and go, just go. 

LOOKING BACK

If Tavayogi could break us into pieces and assemble us back into the mold that the Siddhas have specified for each individual, a trip to Kailash too breaks us according to Balamurugan. During the Satsang called by Ramalinga Adigal at AVM last evening, he recalled his trip to Kailash in 2011. It was an eye-opener for those who never left the comfort of their home like me. I had interviewed him earlier for my YouTube channel. 

ALL IS WELL

Tavayogi shared his disappointment and failure with us when he frequented Malaysia in 2016. He disclosed to us at a gathering of the AVM family that he had waited for some 7 years for someone to take up the course of the Siddhas. He stated that finally, he was happy that we did what others did not. We had Agathiyar's statue brought to homes and temples and started worship of the Siddhas in these venues. Lord Murugan some time back conveyed Tavayogi's wish to see each home turn into Agathiyar Vanam too. 

So it was no surprise that I too, rather than have devotees converge in my home forever and turn it into a center, carried his desire to see Siddhas worshipped in more homes and worked towards convincing devotees to bring back the worship into their homes and to their families too, making their homes Agathiyar Vanam too just like my home. When I was disappointed that I could not bring those who frequented AVM to the fold except for a handful, Agathiyar coming during the pandemic period called on me to work on going within and brought the shutters down on AVM and all its activities. Having us engage in puja for the well-being of all of creation, and having us do charity as far as our arms could reach out, Agathiyar has us stop them and go within. He asked that I not wait for others to catch up but instead find my way or my journey shall be delayed. Tavayogi coming through a devotee told me to drop it as many are here to fulfill their lusts, desires, likes, and wants. Some time back Ma Prapanjam too hushed me to remain quiet and be at peace with me and let her take care of the others. Recently Lobama too asked me to not worry about the rest. 

Now I understand why Agathiyar had expressed his sadness, and Ramalinga Adigal had expressed his disappointment too. While the pull of Maya is too strong for some to battle free, others have their own problems to battle with hence depriving them of a moment to turn this way. Maybe that was the reason the elders had the Varnasrama system in place back then namely: Brahmacharya (bachelor student, 1st stage), Grihastha (married householder, 2nd stage),  Vanaprastha (way of the forest or forest road, 3rd stage), and Sannyasa (renunciation ascetic, 4th stage) where one could transit into the next stage as he ages and with the fulfillment of one's responsibility. Still, the pull and lure of Maya I believe is so strong that Lobama cautioned me to be careful that I do not fall for it.

When Yogi Ramsuratkumar replied that India needs beggars to a question as to why there were beggars, it puzzled me. The red light district is required to fulfill the desires of the clients and the wants of the sex workers. While some souls come with a purpose, others are shown their purpose along the way. Then there are others who while their time without any purpose. There are others who chase after futile things. But I guess it is all needed and comes as a package. There is balance in all things. If this is disrupted an Avatar comes along we are told to correct the imbalance. If it is disrupted beyond repair, there is then a need for the world to be wiped clean and reinstated with new souls taking habitat. I guess this would be the resurgence of Satya Yuga where all things are perfect in all ways again. The divine has made me accept everything under the sky for it all has a purpose to it as we are all connected as in a spiderweb. 

Annie Besant in "Avatara-s", The Theosophical Publishing House, 2002, wrote,

"How would you learn right if you knew not wrong? How would you choose good if you knew not evil? How would you recognize the light if there were no darkness? How would you move if there were no resistance? The forces that are dark, the forces of the rakshasas, of the asuras, of all that seems to be working against Isvara, these are the forces that call out the inner strength of the self in man, by struggling with which the forces of Atma within the man are developed and without which he would remain in Pralaya forevermore. Isvara must draw out men's forces by pulling against their strength making them struggle in order to attain and so vivifying into outer manifestation the life that otherwise would remain enfolded in itself."

"In this universe, there is no evil; all is good that comes to us from Isvara but it sometimes comes in the guise of evil that by opposing it we may draw out our strength. Then we begin to understand that these forces are necessary and that they are within the plan of Isvara. There is only one will in the universe the will of Isvara and all must conform themselves to that will, all are conditioned by that will, and all must move according to that will."