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I was a movie goer in the seventies, reading up everything about movies then. The theaters and also the movie magazines were accessible then. In the eighties my interest switched to know more about our culture and traditions and religion. I was a bachelor then having taken up my new job. I had much time on my hands and indulged in home and temple worship, reading and discussion with colleagues. In the nineties everything was quiet on the home front as I was asked to backoff by Lord Siva who came in a dream in 1988. I guess it was a period of clearing the house so that the divine could fill me up with new knowledge that was to come my way. At the start of the millennium changes in my life and perspective and understanding began to take place. I stepped on the path of the Siddhas after a calling in the Nadi. The rest is history or rather (my)story that has been penned in these pages.

If my parents showed me to see God in the temples and statues and the paintings at the altar in our family home, moving out of my home to take up my new job, I continued worship of these deities in my bachelor home. Then there came a long break of some 14 years to wind down before picking up the chanting of a mantra that was given to me in 2001 to prepare me to meet my gurus Agathiyar through the Nadi reading in 2002, Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai on my maiden trip to India the following year and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram who arrived in Malaysia in 2005. From engaging in Sariyai and Kriyai with the family and on my own respectively, I was now prepared to officially step into Kriyai, Yogam and Gnanam with the coming of these gurus. If Agathiyar read the blueprint of my life, Supramania Swami showed me Guru Bakti or devotion to the Gurus by his exemplary life. Tavayogi showed the practical means to achieve union with the divine through Bakti and Yogam. Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal showed the means to attain union with the divine through Gnanam. Today I stand at the threshold of the Lord's temple awaiting Vaalai to introduce me to her spouse or counterpart VaSi or Siva in reverse. If Vaalai has been given a form and name and worshipped externally I was guided to worship her internally as the breath. In this world of Maya or illusion where everything we see, hear, taste, touch, and feel is a delayed response to the stimuli, as by the time our senses decode something and we understand, react, hear, taste, feel it, something else has taken place. Our senses are desperately trying to keep up with these stimuli. Indeed, we are living in the past though we do not realize it. The only present moment is when we engage with our breath. This is what keeps us alive. Breath is life. If there is no breath, there is no life. It is just a piece of meat. Hence as Lord Muruga said breath carries everything from thoughts, experiences, to Gnanam, the breath is the means and the end. 

ஞானம் என்பது உமது சுவாசம். உனது அனுபவங்கள் பதிவதும் உனது சுவாசம். எண்ணங்களைத் தூண்டுவதும் உனது சுவாசம். ஆதியில் சுவாசம் இறுதியும் சுவாசம். 

We are all connected through the breath. Someone else shall inhale the air I breath out and vice versa. When it leaves it merges in the surroundings. Just as God breathe life into us, we blow our breath into another to save his life. Agathiyar told a devotee who went into coma that he gave his breath to save him. Tavayogi who introduced Agathiyar as God to the public, told me during an initiation at his Kallar ashram that the breath was God. Tavayogi very aptly wrote the following when I asked him to autograph his book "Andamum Pindamum" when translated meant, "God lives in your heart, from where the journey starts and ends too." Hence it makes sense that we are asked to worship the breath Vaalai. 

Ramalinga Adigal song details this amazing journey. I believe he has started me on this internal journey to a sacred place that Ramalinga Adigal calls Aani Pon Ambalam. 

TELLING MY STORY

The body aches came back. The joints feel swollen, the arms sore and the fingers numb. I am urinating frequently hence having to shelf all my travels for now. The best bet would be to stay at home. I am not complaining. Agathiyar had asked that I share the process and transformation taking place within with readers. He said "Enough of my praise. Write about your bodily experiences. Let your writings be about the changes taking place in your body. Let your readers know the changes that take place in the body if they come to worship the light and seek to merge with it. My wisdom shall be your experience. Experience first and I shall clarify the experiences later. Experience is knowledge to you. Nothing is beyond experience."

எனது பெருமை போதும். இனி உன் எழுத்துக்கள் உடல் மாற்றங்கள் உடல் அனுபவம் பற்றியதாக இருக்கட்டும். ஜோதியினை வழிபட்டால் அதில் இணைய வேண்டும் என்றால் உடலில் எவ்வித மாற்றங்கள் ஏற்படும் என்று உன் வாசகர்களுக்குத் தெரிய படுத்து. உனது அனுபவம் எனது அறிவு. அனுபவமே உனக்கு அறிவு. அனுபவத்தைத் தாண்டி ஒன்றுமே இல்லை. நீ அனுபவம் கொண்டுவா, பின்னர் உரைக்கிறேன். 

I guess Agathiyar wanted his devotees to read this blog for on 19.11.2020 he told the few gathered that I shall share my experiences.

இவன் அனுபவத்தைப் பகிர்ந்து கொள்வான். 

On 12.12.2020 Agathiyar tells those gathered, "Read his writings. They are my thoughts. In the coming days I shall speak a lot about the Atma." 

இவன் எழுதுக்களை படியுங்கள். அவை என் கருத்து. இனி ஆத்மாவைப் பற்றி நிறைய சொல்வேன்.

I am drawn automatically to the breath these days. The breath is forceful. Just as water flows with more force in a pipe of larger dimension than that of a smaller size I guess the pathway has expanded and more air is flowing these days. The random pain keeps shifting from the inner thigh, testicle, groin and back and reaching out to the neck and head at times. But life has to go on right. I am not fearful as Agathiyar and the medical examination has written off any possible medical issues and struck off the dilemma that comes with old age. Agathiyar tells me that all these were happening because of the flowering that is about to take place within.  Just as the roots have to make their way into the ground forcing their way through the soil and the stem, branches and leaves have to fight off gravity and make a headway growing towards light, so too is there a battle going on within me to transform this body, breath, and soul.  I am blessed that Agathiyar is working on me and not abandoning me for my weaknesses and sins. 

Looking back, I never knew changes were taking place in me subtly until he broke the news in the Nadi readings. Calling me to the path through my first Nadi reading in 2002 and looking through my past records and grades the grandmaster mentioned that all my efforts in puja and yoga practice never paid off because of my karma that stood in my way. For the love of me Agathiyar had me carry out remedies. He first and foremost called upon me to pray to Lord Ganesa. Ganesa and Vallabai who resided at the Muladhra are known to remove the prevalent and existing blocks and obstacles so that one could progress without hindrances and any further delays. 

After Agathiyar beckoned me to the path in the Nadi reading, Tavayogi had to come by to launch my passage to Siddha hood in 2005. Although I have been praying to all the deities in the Hindu pantheon all those years and started off on my own worshipping the Siddhas after taking up his call, but it needed a guru to flag off my journey on the Siddha path officially. It is sort of christening a new ship before its maiden journey or flagging the race to begin it. 

But even before that Agathiyar passed the Vasudeva mantra through my nephew in 2001 in a mysterious manner that pierced the knot known as the Vishnu Granti which "adds obstructions for the sadhaka, keeping him under the wraps of attachment and bondage that leads to selfishness and ego." 

As the lady saint Avaiyar mentions in her Vinayagar Agaval, the tool that pierced the Muladhara was the breath. "The Muladhara located at the base of the spine, the pelvic floor, and the first three vertebrae, acts as the gateway for the energy of the earth to pass through all our various bodies", says Veronica Hope in walking us through each Chakra at http://veronicahope.com/hope/index.php/muladhara-chakra/ 

With diligent practice of the asanas and pranayama techniques shown by Tavayogi, the Muladhara chakra was pierced. The set of Vaasi or Pranayama practices that Tavayogi taught us did its job within months of been officially initiated into the practice in 2007.  

Taking on the Yoga asanas and Pranayama practice as shown by Tavayogi in 2007, the energy gained in its intensity in 2010. Agathiyar in the Nadi reading on 9.8.2010 tells me that the heat of the tapas or austerities had peaked in me, உண்டான ஞான கனல் மிகுந்த காலம் உயர்வான காலம் இது இந்தக் காலம். 

Agathiyar on 17.10.2010 gives me the good news and consoles me on the bad too. What is generally achieved through Hathayoga is now possible through Tapas and Puja. But he points out to my health that was declining. He asked to see a physician who can bring it back to its former state. With his grace, I shall recover well, he said. 

அடையோகம் தன்னில் கிட்டும் சித்தி அவையனைத்தும் தவமொடு வழிபாட்டில் பெறுவாய். ஆனதொரு ஆரோக்கியம் மட்டும் சோடை. ஒளடதமும் பிடகனை அறிந்து ஏற்க்கவே மாற்றங்கள் ஏற்றம் கிட்டும். என் அருளால் பூரணமாய் பரிசுத்தம் காண்பாய். 

He came again on 16.1.2011 and asked me to continue taking the prescription for another half a mandalam. Agathiyar who continued to monitor my situation assured me that all shall be fine. 

வாகடன்கள் தேகத்திற்கு மட்டும் வளத்துடனே அரை மண்டலாம் எடுத்துக் கொள்ள தேகமத்தில் குறை வாரா. 

Slowly moving from the earth element Muladhara to the water element Svadhisthana, the energies began to stagnate at Manipuraka eventually, creating excessive heat within and lead to immobility in me. The three dosas went haywire as a result of this Tava Kanal. Agathiyar in revealing the reason for the excruciating back pain asked that I stop all forms of tapas and yoga practices for the time being in a Nadi reading the நடைமுறை பிரசன்ன ஆசி நூல் read on 26.11. 2011. He addressed the issue clearly. He spelled out the reasons and the solution in the form of several Siddha herbs and prayers. He classified my agony as Paareesa Peedai or உடலின் ஒரு பக்கம் that was external and "superficial, existing or occurring at or on the surface and appearing to be true or real only until examined more closely." He said the Muladhara chakra had attained intense heat resulting in my condition leading to immobility. The three dosas too have gone haywire. He asked to consume Amalaki and Triphala. He asked that I stop all forms of tapas and yoga practices for the time being. He asked that I pray to the Sun God and Lord Murugan to bring relief. 

தரணிதன்னில் எங்கள் வழி மார்க்கத்தில் தப்பாது பூசையும் தவமும் செய்து தான் உயர்வு அடைந்திட்ட பாலகன் உனக்குத் தரணியே உயிர் பிணி ஏது சொல்வோம் உடல் பிணி ஏதுதான் அச்சம்கொள்ள. பாரிச பீடைகளும் வந்து நிற்கும். உற்றதொரு மூலாதார சக்கரமும் உயர் விதமாய் உட்டனங்கள் அடைந்ததனாலே உரைக்க வரும் சோர்வும் தேகம் தன்னில். உரைக்கலாம் முக்கூற்று திருப்பும் இப்போ முறையாகச் சம நிலையில் இல்லாதிருக்க சோதனைகள் வந்து நிற்க்கும் அச்சம் மிதந்து. சிறப்பு தரும் வாகடமும் செப்பலாம். செப்பலாம் தவம் தன்னை நிறுத்திவைக்க.  சிறப்பு இருக்கு வழிபாடும் முறையே மாறாது சூரிய வழிபாடும் செய்ய வழிபாடும் வேலவர்க்கும் முறையே செய்யப் பங்கம் ஏதும் வந்திடாது கலக்கம் கொள்ளா. 

On 15.2.2012 the physiotherapist asked me to show her the exercises, she had taught me and that I had put into practice over the past seven months. As I moved into position to begin to raise my right leg behind me and stretch my back, there was something like a latch released, a dam burst, a knot that was untied or loosened, as if something gave way, and it brought instantaneous relief and joy to the extent I shouted out and cried in joy. The excruciating pain left magically and mysteriously just as it had come on upon me. All was well as Agathiyar had said. 

Agathiyar in a Nadi reading on 28.3. 2015, told me that "You have received my Jothi (Light). You have changes going on in you. The internal Light has expanded bringing on these changes and opening the Suzhumunai." 

நீ உலகில் என் ஜோதியைப் பெற்று விட்டாய். தேகத்தில் மாற்றங்கள் பெற்று இருக்காய். அகத்துக்குள் அகத்தின் ஜோதி பெருகி தேகத்தில் பல மாற்றம் பல சக்தி கிட்டி முனை திறந்து இருப்பாயே. 

Ramalinga Adigal came later to help me enhance the Jothi in me by asking us to travel with the breath. "Follow the Pranavam in you. Try. Let the Jothi burn brightly within you. You shall merge in it. I shall come along with you as long as the Jothi is in you. I shall be with those who are aware of it." It then made some sense to me as to what Agathiyar had implied earlier.

உமது பிரணவத்தை கொண்டு செல்லு. முயற்சி செய். ஜோதி அதனைச் சுடர்விட செய்யுங்கள். ஜோதியோடு கலப்பாய். உன்னுள் ஜோதி எரியும்வரை நான் உன்னோடு வருவேன். ஆழ்ந்து இருப்போருடன் நான் சேர்ந்து இருக்கிறேன்.

The serpent energy took a long breather ponding at the Manipuraka chakra for some ten years. Agathiyar tells me in July of 2020, "Currently your Muladhara and Svadhisthana is open. The breath is currently lodged in Manipuraka. The time of its opening is near. Now is the right time to start your practice. This would open up the chakra completely. You will see many changes take place in your body. Don't be afraid. In activating these chakras your body shall smell foul, you shall have constipation, and you shall urinate often. The Agathiyar Kuzhambu you consumed earlier (on 27 June 2022) helped stabilize your Vata, Kapha and Pitta. Yet these Dosas need to be expelled further."

இத்தருணம் உமக்கு மூலாதாரம் திறந்தது, ஸ்வாதிஸ்டானம் திறந்தது. இப்பொது மான் மூச்சி குளத்தில் இருக்கிறது. அவை திறக்கும் தருணம் வந்தது. இப்போதுதான் நீ உமது பயிற்சியினை தொடங்க வேண்டும். இந்த நிலையில் அச்சக்கரம் முற்றும் திறந்துவிடும். உடலில் பல மாற்றங்கள் கண்டறிவாய். பயம் கொள்ள வேண்டாம். இச்சக்கரங்களில் புணர்ச்சியால் உன் உடலில் ஏற்படும் மாற்றங்கள் துர் நாற்றம் வீசும், மலச்சிக்கல் ஏற்ப்பட்டு கழிவு ஆகும், சிறுநீர் அதிகம் வெளியேறும். அன்று நீ உண்ட குழம்பினாள் உன் உடலிலிருந்து வாதம், கபம், பித்தம் சற்றே அகன்றது. இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. அவை அகலும். 

He continued, "Your journey till this day was external and was for worldly existence. Now you shall tread a journey that takes you within. You will come to understand the reason you were born. When your breath touches the Suzhimunai (சுழுமுனை) and travels, engaging with the chakras, upon reaching the seventh chakra, you shall get the answer. At that moment a Sakti will come within. That is சுழுமுனை or Suzhimunai. In traveling within when everything becomes clear that is Gnanam."

இதுநாள் வரையில் நீ கடந்து வந்தது இவ்வுலக வாழ்க்கையின் பயணம். இனி நீ கடக்க போவது உமது உல் பயணம். ஆதாவது நீ பிறந்ததன் நோக்கம் அறிவாய். உமது மூச்சி உனது சுழுமுனை தொட்டு உமது ஏழு சக்கரங்களில் பயணம் செய்யும் கால் ஏழாவது சக்கரம் தொடும் நிலையில் நீ உனது பிறவிக்கான பலனை அறிவாய். உனது நிலையை நீ தொடும்போது அக்கணம் உன்னை அறியாமல் உன்னை நோக்கி ஒரு  சக்தி உன்னுள் இறங்கும் - அதுவே சுழிமுனை. நீங்கள் உள் பயணிக்கும்போது எல்லாம் தெளிவாகத் தெரியும் சமயம் திரை விலகியத்திற்கு அர்த்தம். அதுதான் ஞானம். 

On 22.8.2020 Ramalinga Adigal tells me "Use your breath to fan the Jothi. It shall travel through Sushumna and touch Ajna. Then the Jothi is seen. Carry out Nadi Sudhi to raise the Prana. Now it does not move in both nostrils. When it travels in both nostrils, you shall then rest in completeness or Sudha Paripuranam. Dhyana will be yours then. You are one with the Prana. Pay attention to it. The changes in you are but discharges. It shall leave your body. Do not worry. What you are doing is Tavam. Agathiyan has accepted and received it. Hence bath his statue once a week and please him. We shall continue working on your insides and from within." 

பிரணவத்தை கொண்டு ஜோதியை சுடர் விடச்செய். சுஷும்னா வழி சென்று ஆக்கினை தொடும். பின்னர் ஜோதி தெரியும். நாடி சுத்தி செய்து பிரணவத்தை உயர்த்தவும். இப்போது இரு நாசியில் செல்ல வில்லை. இரு நாசியில் செல்லும் கால் பிரணவம் இடகலை பிங்கலையில் சீராகச் செல்லும் தருணம் சுத்த பரிபூரணத்தில் நீ ஆழ்ந்து இருப்பாய். தியானம் என்பது உனது பரிபூரணம் ஆகும். உனது பிராணவத்தில் கலந்திருக்கிறாய். பிரணவத்தில் கவனம் செலுத்து. உன்னுள் ஏற்படும் மாற்றங்கள் யாவும் கழிவுகள். அகன்று போகும். கவலை வேண்டாம். நீ செய்தது யாவும் தவம். முயற்சி யாவும் அகத்தியன் பெற்று விட்டான். ஆகையால் வாரம் ஒரு முறை நீர் ஊற்றி ஆனந்தம் படுத்திவிடு. உள்ளிருந்து யாவும் நடத்துவோம்.

For several weeks I had the wind (air) travel in my abdomen causing pain in my groins and testes. The urine and motion were smelly. I asked myself if my body was decaying within. I knew a cleansing process was going on within. Agathiyar had told me a stage will come when the body would smell. 

On Monday, 22 August 2022, at 6.40am, as I woke up and stretched in bed, I felt an "explosion of energy" in my belly. It felt like I had stretched a nerve near my belly button. A sudden swirl of energy was released in my abdomen bringing on a cold feeling throughout my body. I felt nauseous and my whole body became numb to the fingertips. I had to pee and ease myself. For fear that I would go in bed, I got up to go to the toilet. I fell twice but picked myself up. It soon subsided. Towards night the top of my head was cool. 

The next day a rather similar happening took place at 7.20am. I woke up to go to the loo, but I could not piss. I fainted again. I called out for my wife, who had hurriedly returned from my elder daughter's house after my younger daughter updated her on the previous day's events. I asked her to bring the peacock feathers over and brush my body with it. My body became numb from the shoulders down. I could not move an inch of my body. Though I lay like a log on my bed I was aware of what was happening to me. I asked myself if this was what a dead body would feel like.

Seeking answers to what had taken place, I placed a request before Agathiyar to clear the air. And he did. He told me that there was nothing to worry about. Previously he had told me that energy had stagnated at Manipuraka. Since the chakra was activated late in life the blood count will tip the scale. He asked to seek allopathy treatment. He did treat me too by dipping my hands into a bowl of lukewarm water to the accompaniment of my family chanting the Arutperunjothi mantra. He ran his hands along my back and spine and placed his hands on my head and applied the sacred ash over my body. 

கவலை கொள்ள ஒன்றுமில்லை. தேங்கி இருந்த நீர் வெளி கொண்டது. ஆனபோதும் முதிர்ந்த நிலையில் சக்கரங்கள் திறப்பதனால் உதிர வாட்டம் கொண்டுள்ளது. ஆகையால் எண்கள் மேரு பெறும். ஆங்கில மருத்துவம் கொண்டு அதனைச் சுத்தம் செய்து கோல்.

He gives a message through me warning others that when the chakras are activated late in life it would have some adverse results on our bodies. When the heat of tapas increases in our body, blood flow will be less bringing on numbness. This would result in urinary and excretion problems. 

முதிர்ச்சியில் சக்கரங்கள் திறக்கும்போது அவ்வுடல் சில பாதிப்பினை ஏற்றுக்கொள்ளும். ஆகையால் மருத்துவம் உனக்குத் தேவை. உனது உடலில் உஷ்ணம் ஏற ஏற உதிரம் குறையும். உதிரம் குறைந்தால் உடல் மறுத்துப் போகும். உடல் மறுத்துப் போனால் சிறுநீர் கோளாறு கழிவில் கோளாறு. மருத்துவம் கொண்டு அதைச் சீர் படுத்திக் கொள்.

Agathiyar gave me strength and courage. He said, "Do not be afraid of death. It is but another door to another journey. One who invites death is a Siddha. There is much I need to carry out through you."

மரணபயம் வேண்டாம்.  மரணம் ஒன்றும் அல்ல. மற்றொரு பயணத்தின் கதவு.  எவன் ஒருவன் மரணத்தை அன்போடு வரவேற்கின்றானோ அவன் சித்தன் ஆகின்றான். உன்னில் இருந்து நான் காரியங்கள் செய்வதற்கு இன்னும் நிறைய இருக்கிறது. 

He surprised me by saying that my gurus should have come to my assistance, but as they are engaged in his work, they had asked him to come to our need. That is the compassion of the gurus who continue to look over our shoulders even after attaining Samadhi.

உன் குரு இருந்து செய்ய வேண்டியது.  என் தேவைக்கு அழைத்தேன். இப்போது அவன் என்னை அனுப்பி வைத்தான். அவனின் ஆசி என்றும் உண்டு. நேர்மையான சீடனை எள்ளளவும் மறக்கமாட்டான். சுப்பிரமணியனும் அப்படியே. 

Agathiyar gives me confidence and courage saying, "If going within is difficult think of it as a practice for you. Going within will bring you to merge with the Prapanjam. There is no easy way. What you go through is very much easier and milder that what I went through." 

உள் பயணம் சிரமமாக இருக்குமானால் அதுவே உமக்கு பயிற்சி. ஆழ்ந்து போவது நீங்கள் பிரபஞ்சத்தோடு இணைவதற்கு. இதற்கு சுலபமான வழி இல்லை. நான் கண்டதை விட நீங்கள் கண்டு வருவது மிகவும் சுலபமானது.

I understood that the dam had burst those two days and the floodwaters together with the serpent made its way upstream. The serpent swirled in the region below the abdomen over two consecutive days before it reached the Sahasrara bringing on a whirlpool in the crown of my head. The crown kept swirling though the swirling sensation felt in the top of my head was less intense compared to that in the belly. It seemed more like a flowering of petals and was blissful. I guess this is what Agathiyar meant when he said I shall feel a magnetic wave arise. The body is now a magnet that is attracting the effulgence from beyond. We learn from science that while we only see lightning appear in the skies and strike things on the ground, there is a small amount of electricity that reaches out to it from the earth. Similarly, the small amount of electricity in us meets the larger expanse that is God. A piercing sensation as if someone was sending in a prod into the crown of my head happens at random in this spot. Occasionally a slithering movement is sensed especially when I bring my attention to it. Agathiyar previously reminded me not to allow anyone to touch my head. I never visited the barber till this day. As our journey is one, my wife cuts my hair. When I fell at Dhanvantri feet, he reminded me not to fall at anyone's feet. What surprised me was that the serpent did not linger at the other chakras but instead made its way straight home. The energy lay coiled in the crown of the head for some time. Agathiyar told me there was nothing to do as the energies would do their work when I asked if there were further practices, I had to carry out. Just as he answered nothing was taking place. I guess he sensed my desperation for some further guidance for he came and consoled me several days ago that he was there to look over my shoulder in the absence of Tavayogi.

As Agathiyar had asked that I travel within after bringing the shutters on AVM and its puja, and charity, and asking me to pick up Pranayama after he had me stop that too some time back, he told me that the next phase was that of entering Gnanam. He defined the said state as attainable when "In traveling within when everything becomes clear that is Gnanam." I understood that Gnanam was not something that he offered on a silver plate. Instead, that has to be acquired through experience. 

"நீ என்னிடம் கேட்டது ஞானம். ஞானம் என்பது நான் தருவதல்ல. நீ கற்பது. ஒருவன் தனக்குள் உள்வாங்கி அவனுள் பயணம் துவங்கும் நேரம் அப்பயணம் தரும் பாதிப்பே ஞானம். அவை ஒவ்வொருவருக்கும் மாற்றம் பெரும். ஆகையால் அவை நான் இதுதான் என்று சொல்ல இயலாது."

Agathiyar says of Gnanam, "Gnanam is not gifted but has to be earned and experienced. When one goes within, as the journey brings upon subtle experiences these shall translate into and become Gnanam. It defers to each person. As such I cannot possibly define it."

Lord Muruga in coming to us some days back to reveal the essence of Gnanam, says that the only practice that brings us to the state of Gnana is observing the breath. He adds that it does not come easy.

ஞானத்திற்கான பயிற்சி சுவாசத்தைக் கவனிப்பது மட்டுமே. சுவாசத்தைக் கவனிப்பது அவ்வளவு எளிதல்ல மகனே.

If Agathiyar spelled out the reason in having us let go and withdraw within was to attain the state of Gnanam, Lord Muruga revealed the tool. The breath was the means and the end. Lord Muruga reveals that our breath was Gnana itself. Our experiences are embedded in our breath. It is this very breath that brings forth the thoughts. Both the beginning and end is this breath. Indeed, life comes into a solid mass through the breath and life ends with the exit of the breath. It is all in the breath. "So how am I to gift Gnanam to one who does not carry out the practices given, and who cannot withstand the misery that befalls him, and comes running to me seeking escape", he asks. 

ஞானம் என்பது உமது சுவாசம். உனது அனுபவங்கள் பதிவதும் உனது சுவாசம். எண்ணங்களைத் தூண்டுவதும் உனது சுவாசம். ஆதியில் சுவாசம் இறுதியும் சுவாசம். இப்படி சுவாசமாய் இருக்கும் அனைத்தையும் எவ்வித பயிற்சியும் இன்றி நான் கொடுத்த இன்னல்களால் வலி தங்க முடியாது என்னை அழைத்துக் கொள்ளுங்கள் என்று கேட்கும் மக்களுக்கு ஞானத்தை வழங்க முடியாது.

Lord Murugan said that the impure body or Asudha Deham has to transform to the pure Suddha Deham first. The Suddha Deham has then to be converted to the Pranava Deham and the Oli Deham subsequently. This is only possible by way of the breath. 

அசுத்த தேகம் சுத்த தேகமாக மாறுவதும், சுத்த தேகம் பிரணவ தேகமாக மாறுவதும், பிரணவ தேகம் ஒளி தேகமாக மாறுவதும், சுவாசத்தினால் மட்டுமே. 

One who fails to purify his breath and remove any residues of his experiences shall not attain Gnanam, he adds. He reminded us, "For this purpose, Agathiyar has given all of you some initial practices that were simple in nature."

சுவாசத்தைத் தூய்மைப் படுத்துபவன் சுவாசத்தில் எதையும் பதிவு செய்யாத ஒருவன் ஞானத்தை அடைந்து விடுவான்.  அதற்கு ஆரம்ப பயிற்சிக்கு உங்களுக்கு அகத்தியன் சுவாச பயிற்சியைக் கொடுத்தான். பயிற்சிகள் ரொம்பு சுலபமானது. 

If Agathiyar had previously told us that Gnanam was not to be gifted by him but that it has to be earned and come by with one's effort, experience, and learning from these lessons, Lord Muruga too reiterates that it has to come with practice, cleansing of body, mind, thoughts, the chakras and the Tatwas. He added that all these are in our possession. The desired change is in our hands and not via him. They stand aloft as the experience.

ஞானம் நான் தருவது அல்ல. நீங்கள் செய்யக் கூடிய பயிற்சி, சுத்திகரிப்பு, எண்ணத் தூய்மை, உடல் தூய்மை, ஆறு ஆதார சக்கரங்கள், 96 கூறுகள், இப்படி எல்லாம் உங்கள் கைவசமே இருக்கிறது. எளிய முறையில் உங்களிடம் கொடுத்து விட்டோம். அனுபவம் மட்டுமே நாங்கள்.

To bring the breath within our reach, Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal and Lord Muruga had Goddess Vaalai step into the picture and take residence at AVM over the past week. When I asked that the grace of the Siddhas shower on us and that they constantly watch over us, Ramalinga Adigal revealed that even the Siddhas took hold of her to attain their present state. 

With the coming of Vaalai, Mounam or the state of silence sets in without any effort. The torment that came by way of my noisy neighbors that frustrated my attempt at going within as directed by Agathiyar during the 2 1/2 years of the pandemic and continues does not bother me now. Ramalinga Adigal had consoled me back then as I voiced my grievances to him. He told me that I shall gain composure and learn to ignore them in due time. Ramalinga Adigal in asking me to stomach all the inconveniences that I faced as soon as Agathiyar asked me to go within tells me that they were hindrances placed by them. The experience gained will bring about Gnanam. Effort (in going within) is needed to overcome the troubles. It shall exist until we are lost within ourselves. Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal were not removing the source of my troubles but were working on me to overcome the inconveniences hence preparing me to reach the state of Gnanam.

அவைகளை உமக்கு இன்னல்கள். அவைகளை உமக்கு ஞானம். பொறுத்துக்கொள். தனது முயற்சியால் உமது ஐம் புலன்களை அடக்கிடுவாய். அது நடக்கும் வண்ணம் இவைகள் உமக்குத் தொந்திராவு வழங்கும். 

Coming to us through the Jeeva Nadi in the possession and read by Mataji Sarojini Ammai who visited our home on 4 November 2023, Agathiyar had a message for me. He revealed the changes that were taking place inside me and gave an insight into my future state. With the coming of Vaalai, he said that she shall guide my breath. He asked that I worship the breath or Vaasi. He said that I should see some further development soon. 

உன் அத்தனுக்கு நாளுக்கு நாள் அவன் தேகம் அதில் மாற்றங்கள் காணலாச்சி. அன்னவனுக்கு ஆதாரங்கள் வேலை செய்யலாயிற்று. இன்னும் வாசி வழியில் வாழைதனை பூசிக்கவும் வேண்டும் அப்பா. அன்னவள் உல் இருந்து குருதியோடு சுவாச வழியில் இயக்குவாள் பாரேன். இனி வரும் காலம் அன்னவனுக்கு ஞான வழி மார்க்கம் அதில் நல் ஏற்றம் மெல்ல மெல்லக் காணும் அப்பா. அன்னவனுக்கு கடைகாலம் அட்டமா சித்துகள் கூடும் வேலையும் உண்டுதானே. 

His message to us was to invite Vaalai and worship her just as we had worshipped her.

இந்நாள் சித்தர்கள் போற்றும், நாங்கள் போற்றும் வாலை தாய் இவ் இல்லத்திலிருந்து வழி நடத்துவாள். எங்களைப் போற்று. எங்களோடு அன்னவளையும் போற்று. 

Ramalinga Adigal coming through a devotee earlier said the same. He had said that it was the Vaalai regime now at AVM and she shall lead us just as she led Ramalinga Adigal and all the Siddhas to their present state.

இனி இங்கு வாலையின் ராஜியம் நடை பெரும். நாங்களும் அவளை பிடித்து கொண்டு இந்த நிலையை அடைந்தோம்.

To idealize, idolize and symbolize this internal journey to the state of Gnanam, Tavayogi had install the "Aaru Athaara Peedam", a granite stone structure at his Agathiyar Gnana Peedham at Kallar Ashram. It is representative of the six vital spots or chakras along the spine that one traverses, coming to worship finally the flame or light emitting at its peak, that Ramalinga Adigal too symbolically left behind for us to worship.

Note: Readers might find some discrepancies regarding the chakras in several of my earlier posts. With a deeper understanding of the subject, I have corrected my understanding and my writing. 

STORIES TO TELL

How do you make someone recall a past or make them remember an event. We mention time and space - the moment it took place and the place. Similarly, it is with a forthcoming event. So too the Siddhas who are beyond time and space fall back to these to speak to man in his terms.

What is right and wrong? The Siddhas tell us that there is no absolute right and wrong. The rights and wrongs are in the eyes of the perceiver and changes with time and space. What is wrong now might be sanction as right and a law sometime later or what was wrong back then might be accepted now. The perception and understanding changes and keeps changing over time with newer experiences that are gained. It is true that whatever I wrote, in the beginning, and my hold on it might have changed over time with gaining the relevant experiences that break old thoughts and enlighten us further. When I read and reflect on these posts, I do see how we have grown together in our understanding of life here and its purpose. Rather than have the heavens gate open up and the heavens fall or come crashing on us, showering us with divine knowledge or Gnanam, Agathiyar had us climb the steep cliffs and rocks monitoring each move and action till we arrive at the gate to his palace. As we only appreciate what is earn through hard labor, he makes us appreciate the journey having thrown the rapids and storms onto our path.

When we begin to see the might and greatness of the Siddhas and at the same time the humbleness and the down-to-earth nature of theirs one cannot but keep it all to himself. Hence the reason to share with others arose. What better way than to go online. Although I have no ideals nor spiritual ambition to pursue, and neither have I achieved anything worth mentioning on the path to spiritual evolution, it's all these simple things in life that come my way that interest and excite me. As Dr Benjamin Carson saw the brain as a miracle, I chose to see miracles in all things, even the minute and unnoticeable happenings. So, you shall not find doctrines and means to achieve a spiritual state in these pages. We have way too many guides out there willing to take you for a ride. Instead, you shall read stories of miracles that take place in our daily life. You shall read how the Gods come down from their thrones and the Siddhas come away from Samadhi to mingle and interact with common folk like us. If the lockdown in 2020 had put a stop to visitors to my home or rather his garden Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) it never could stop these divine visitations. They visit us till this day.

The Siddhas who are said to be Light materialized as words in the palm leaves or Nadi, guiding seekers. The Siddhas who are said to be Light materialized in statues and paintings, giving their darshan to their devotees and followers. The Siddhas who are said to be Light materialized in their devotees to communicate with their students. The Siddhas who are said to be Light materialized as light eventually in their subjects turning him or her into one too. The Siddhas do not give up until this is achieved though they might allow a break. 

Imagine if you do not leave behind something worthwhile for others to take note. Imagine if you leave without leaving a meaningful and lasting legacy. Imagine if you do not even have a story to tell others. When Agathiyar asks me about Gnanam I spilled all that I knew after asking him about Gnanam some time back. As it was like a rapid fire of bullets, he could not but state that all the experience I had made me speak so much. Let's face it. We love stories. My grandchildren gather around their mother, father, me, my wife and my other daughter fetching a book and asking us to read the stories. We used to read to our daughters back then. Men past their time at coffee shops telling stories. Women share stories whenever they meet their comrades in the midst of their tight household chores. The Puranas gave us many divine stories. Folklore and many legends of the jungle were told in the past over a campfire. These stories were acted out and became plays that were staged. These stories made their way into books by travelers who wrote them. They are being made into movies and make their way into our living rooms these days.

What would life by without these stories to keep us alive and hopeful? Life would be dry and stale. I believe the stories carried in this blog has liven up some of my readers life for it surely has liven up my life. I too am trying to live up to these wonderful stories and what is said in these pages. 

ONLY THE PRESENT EXISTS

To breath is to be alive. But most of the time it goes unawares. Pranayama brings our attention and awareness to it. To become aware of the breath is to become nourished. To become aware of the breath is to become renewed. To become aware of the breath is to become still. Although he was an accomplished Yogi, Tavayogi continued to carry out Pranayama. We could hear from across the lawn as we stayed in the metal cabin, the loud bellows he dealt as he did this practice behind closed doors in his room. 

Yoga is a set of practices that brings us to become aware of our breath and to use it as a tool to attain higher and subtle states. Swami Vivekananda in his book "Raja Yoga" list it beautifully.

"By Pranayama impurities of the body are thrown out; by Dharana the impurities of the mind; by Pratyahara impurities of attachment, and by Samadhi is taken off everything that hides the lordship of the Soul."

Vivekananda writes, "For the mind that has realized omnipresence there is no succession (of thoughts). Everything has become present for it. To it the present only exists. The past and future are lost. Time stands controlled. All knowledge is there in one second. Everything is known like a flash."

Neale Donald Walsch writes in his book "The Wisdom of the Universe", that "the present happens then turns into a burst of light formed by energy dispersing and the light reaches your receptors your eyes and it takes time for it to do that." During this time God says, "..that light is reaching you, life is going on, moving forward. The next event is happening while the light from the last event is reaching you."  

It is all delayed transmission that we are receiving. By the time it arrives it has become a past event. By the time the brain interprets the scene it is not what is taking place. It has become a thing of the past. 

Science says that "When we use powerful telescopes to look at distant objects in space, we are actually looking back in time." (Source: https://spaceplace.nasa.gov/) As "the Sun's light takes about 8.3 minutes to reach us. This means that we always see the Sun as it was about 8.3 minutes ago. The next closest star to us is about 4.3 light-years away. So, when we see this star today, we’re actually seeing it as it was 4.3 years ago.  The farther an object is, the farther in the past we see it."

God tells Neale the same too. "Place yourself a few light years back and what you are looking at happened very, very long ago indeed."

This is how the Siddhas could make the predictions I suppose. They could connect with the real "present moment" and not the delayed "present moment." Hence God says that nothing we see is real. The real is the "now that simply is". What is true is only the present. We now understand Bhagawan Ramana and the saints immersed in the present forever. 

EXPERIENCE

If Tavayogi hardly spoke about his experiences, my forerunner in the field Jnana Jothiamma kept me informed of the many developments right from day one. I owe her as her experiences has enlightened me too to a certain extent. Looking back at the many emails through which she corresponded with me during her spiritual confinement I see a pattern and similarity. I had always wondered if what was happening in me was a result of old age, an ailment or really a transformation. Lord Muruga and Agathiyar removed the fear in me and cleared my doubts.

On October 15, 2014, she writes to me that she had another Nadi reading and Agathiyar had told her to head to the USA, make a pit stop in Malaysia before returning to Chennai once her solitary confinement was over. Her new mission and task later were to preach about the Siddhas. 

"Dad said I would have to leave back to my son after Thai month... he'll tell me the date and won't be back for a long time… till me 64 yrs... The only important factor is ... I need to be in isolation for some more time… both here and in the USA… then get back.... as a full-fledged Thuravi.....Sanyasin..."

He had her imprisoned in the house that came by his grace only to be visited occasionally by a Siddha or their messengers bringing her good news and medicine. 

"Asked me not to talk with anybody... complete Mounam... inside n outside... and not to post anything too... will elaborate on the reason at a later date. Will tell u a bit more after I recover at least a bit.  I told you a couple of weeks back… that after this pusam... He has asked me to keep away totally... Therefore not to speak, post, or divulge anything to anyone... As he was speaking this I was constantly thinking about you and silently in my mind, I told him... I want to tell Shan, at least a bit... It was then, he suddenly said... "Shanmugam, who is in Malaysia…is my Mainthan. I am with him ..and in his place…and I perform all the miracles from there... He has my Blessings."  I thanked Agathiyan silently in my mind and took this as an indication ...rather permission to share at least a bit with you…about me ..."

"Agathiyan went on to add, how he and his Guru Murugan, had arranged Bhogar to come over to my place and give me the medicine, Navabhashanam for consumption and told me that Bhogar will be coming again to hand over some more to me. He said that I don't have to go here and there, and what is required ... Agathiyan says...will be brought over to where I am. The pleasure of knowing that all these pains (physical) are going to cease and end one day..... and never going to come back... By pain, I meant..... the excruciating pain I experience  … sometimes in my CNS… (central nervous system... hip upwards), and sometimes PNS (Peripheral Nervous System.... hip downwards). When the former activates itself, giving me torment, the latter subsides and vice versa. There is a constant burning inferno within. You won't believe it if I tell you, I feel I am running at a very high temperature. My dresses get warm. My bedsheets get warm... But actually … no fever at all... except very high temperature... like a burning brick kiln... Secondly, the bone marrow and the lubricants get evaporated, due to the excessive heat...And here I am…battling both the external cold and the internal heat... I couldn't move an inch today... I cried to dad. When the pain becomes very intense, I started to cry... 

Lord Murugan too in treating me told me the same that the gel and lubricants are drying up within me due to the heat of the tapas and the subtle changes taking place. Both Agathiyar and Lord Murugan prescribed some traditional Siddha medicines. 

When she recovered and felt better, she sends me the following mail,

"Funny, how life had taken its course... For a very long time, I had been praying to daddy that I wanted to ascertain the following from him. I wanted to know what all I was seeing, hearing, and witnessing and the happenings are all real … and not just a figment of my imagination. Many things are happening, and I understand now fully well, that all I am doing physically also... I feel something/someone is doing …and not me......  Agathiyan told me that since Murugan's energy is inside me... "A pralayam is being created inside you and the intensity is too heavy for you to withstand, hence we have to give to you all these medicines." 

So too I and Mahindren have often wondered if it was them speaking or us deceiving others into believing it was the Siddhas. But Agathiyar had come several times to confirm to others that it was them speaking their mind through us. That was a big relief for we do not want to earn their wrath or any further karma as it is.

But somehow what Agathiyar had forecast for Jnana Jothiamma did not materialize. She passed away some three years later. We can never be sure until we step over the trestle.

I realize that life is pretty complicated with so many possibilities. So many factors act on the outcome. And it is changing each moment. Neale Donald Walsch says that change is the only thing constant about us. He conveys God's message that gives us hope and faith in our life.

"Know that you will be exactly where you have to be in order to experience exactly what you choose as you go about creating Who You Really Are."

God tells us "You would live as the Buddha did. As Jesus did. As did every saint you have ever idolized." These were the exact words Tavayogi tells us. "Set the mind on Agathiyar and you shall become Agathiyar."

Neale writes, " Each event and adventure is called to your Self by your Self in order that you might create and experience Who You Really Are. All true masters know this. Believe nothing I say. Simply live it. Experience it. Then live whatever other paradigm you want to construct. Afterward, look to your experience to find your truth."

There you have it. It all boils down to we experiencing and learning the ways of life. That is the purpose of life.

THANK YOU, DOC,.

When the class teacher asks his students to identify the rock he held in his hand in the movie "Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story", the young Benjamin answers that it was an Obsidian and goes on to explain how it was made. The teacher asks him to see him after class. Benjamin figures that he had done something wrong and apologizes. 

So did Agathiyar coming through a devotee last weekend call up each one of us, me, my wife and daughter, and asked us what we knew about Gnanam. I was lucky that he had briefly mentioned it to me on his earlier visit some time back. I was lucky that I had listened attentively and remembered. Now I could repeat it to him though it was a pretty lenghty answer. Hearing me out patiently, he said that "Look all the experiences you had has made you speak so much!" "உன் அனுபவம் உன்னை இவ்வளவு பேச வைக்கிறது." I was stunned and did not know if it was a compliment or if I had done something wrong. But he told me that he was pleased.

When the young Benjamin prays that the Good Lord take his temper away from him, it reminded me of my late mother telling Agathiyar in her prayers to take my temper away too. God listens for Agathiyar called me over for an Aasi reading and gave me a piece of his mind. He spoke about anger management for an hour and immediately tested me after the reading by creating the right situation to provoke my anger. I failed miserably in his test.

Some time back my wife complained about my anger to him too. He asked me as I stood some distance away to bring him his Vaasikol or wooden staff that the Siddhas use to correct the flow of their breath and warned me that the next time I threw a tantrum he would use it on me. 

When Benjamin gets to the Johns Hopkins hospital he is interviewed and asked why he should be accepted as one of two candidates accepted for Neurosurgery Residency among 125 applicants. He is finally asked why he decided to become a brain doctor.

Benjamin is silent and speechless for several moments before he speaks.

"The brain. It is a miracle. Do you believe in miracles? Not a lot of doctors do. There is not a lot of faith among physicians. You study reports, cut open bodies. It is all very tangible, solid. But the fact is, there is still so many things we just can't explain. I believe we are all capable of performing miracles... up here" and he points to his brain. "I believe we are all blessed with astonishing gifts and skills. This is the channel, the source, the inspiration for unbelievable accomplishments" and saying thus he points to his brain again. 

When he is about to perform a separation on a Rausch twins, he updates the parents on the procedure. He tells them that his team has only an hour. 

"Which is why we have rehearsed and rehearsed and why we need to pray."

The parents are surprised and asks, "You pray, Doctor?" He answers, "Every day."

Hs mother often tells him "You don't need the book. You got it inside you." That is Gnanam tapping from the Akash all that we need to know down here on this earth.

My family regards doctors and nurses as God in the flesh. We have had our fair share of consulting them. They had tried their very best to help us and they sure did. We take this moment to thank them all. 

FESTIVAL OF LIGHT

Vaalai has opened up the airways in me. What was forcibly opened through the practice of Pranayama is spontaneous now. Now I understand what Agathiyar meant when he told me to let it be and it shall do its work when I had a sudden burst of energy awakened by his touch in 2022. 

I guess the three dosas are kept in check these days as the throwing up has stopped. The body aches that were there for some good two weeks and left was back yesterday. Everything in sight is crystal clear these days. The senses are heightened. The taste buds are in optimal performance. The sense of smell too has heightened. Hearing has gone beyond the walls. Touch too is deep and overwhelming these days. I am picking up the sound of electricity flowing through and feeling the vibrations that it emits. Sexual urges are in overdrive. Listening to songs be it devotional or cinema touches the very souls and brings tears too. Compassion has taken another level as it is impossible to see violence portrayed even on the screen.  Just 13 minutes into watching the documentary "Born in Gaza" brought tears into my eyes and I could not watch any further. A lad tells us how his 22-year-old brother was hit in a bombing while delivering beverages produced at their father's soft drink factory. He holds out his hand to show us the size of the largest piece that they found of him. 

I tend to just slip into a state of "Nothingness" holding the pose for minutes on end without engaging with the senses and its organs of interpretation. My attention is automatically drawn to the breath in these moments. Neale Donald Walsch in his book "The Wisdom of the Universe" writes, "There's nothing I have to have, there's nothing I have to do, and there is nothing I have to be, except exactly what I'm being right now." I guess this is the state of "Being" that is spoken about. We are told to let this "Being" in us awake. This is the Soul in us. This is Atma Darisanam or the Awakening of the Soul. When the Soul awakens it drives the body and the Tattwas to work for it. Let it will what we should do henceforth rather than letting the Ego be in charge. If the Ego drives the body and its Tattwas to move us in the opposite direction, the Soul that is the property of the Good Lord shall guide us back to him. 

Over the weekend Agathiyar and Lord Murugan have showed me how difficult it is for the common man and even the spiritual inclined and the spiritual heads to let go. Every single person is holding on to something out of love, passion, and greed or shackled to responsibilities, forgetting that the simplest thing or action is letting go. Though accumulating wealth and possessions could take ages, letting go can happen in a second if one intended. But the pull of power, authority, respect, money, wealth, and happiness has such a tight hold on us that it has become impossible to just let go. 

We learned the truth of what Neale writes in his book. 

"Scientists conduct an experiment and simply show you what they have done. The results speak for themselves. Not so with politicians. Even if they failed, they talk. The same for religious leaders. The more they fail the more they talk. Yet I tell you this. Truth and God are found in the same place. In the silence. When you have found God and when you have found truth, it is not necessary to talk about it. It is self-evident."

Today is a day of celebration and happiness and above and beyond that a day of lighting up our homes and our lives. It is Deepavali or Diwali, the festival of Lights. Though the whole world celebrates it I would give precedence to another much lesser-known festival associated with harvest of crops Thai Ponggal. It is only when we shed the old, throw out the old, and burn the past that newer options arise and can move into our lives. It is only in letting go of the old that the new can come within. Thai Pongal celebrates all the above. After the home is cleansed, we can then let in the light. This applies to the internal transformations too. In order for the body to take on the form of light, it has to be transformed through a thorough cleansing, that might even require the very dwelling to be brought down first and rebuilt. 

Swami Vivekananda says that first the nerves have to be purified. I understand the bodily pains that I am undergoing currently. The nerves that have formed knots have to be carefully undone and straightened.  These have to be strengthened then to take on the current that would be plying through them. The very cells have to be purified so that the body transforms from an impure Asudha Deham to a pure Sudha Deham. Empty out the cloud or hard disk in which we have come to store years of data or rather junk so that the Soul can fill it up with new and uplifting experiences or even better upgrade it or replace it. 

Neale says that there is a difference between doing a certain thing out of happiness and the other that is to do something that brings happiness in us. Children tend to fall into the first category while we adults fall into the latter. Love mooting us to give is different from giving to gain another's love. Rather than find the means to be happy, why not just be happy. Do we need a tool or gadget to create happiness in us and our surroundings? Rather than go in search of God we could learn to see him in us and our loved ones and the surroundings. We have never seen our faces. We always needed a mirror. Or we saw our reflection in the waters. We always needed something else to show our true face. Watching the movie "Irugapatru" I saw myself standing before the mirror.

On this day where the whole world celebrates the advent of Light should we not keep our homes, neighborhoods, streets, towns, cities clean to usher the light and drive away the darkness? Should we not keep the streams, rivers and oceans clean? Should we not care for the quality of the air around us? Should not we respect the privacy of others? Now moving within, should not we make our bodies conducive and prepared to receive the Light?  With God's blessings that come via Sariyai and Kriyai and our efforts in Yogam, the Light of Divine knowledge or Gnanam shall dawn on us eventually. That day calls for a true celebration. 

DEAR LORD, LET ME HAVE SOME ANSWERS

Some time back when I could not stand the atrocities happening all over the world, I had asked that the world end. But my daughter interjected saying that she had not lived her life. I realize now that I should not have asked that the world end but end my participation in it. I should learn to remain aloft. I should learn to remain indifferent. 

When a devotee upon watching the newsreels shed tears as innocent children were killed intentionally in the war that is happening around us, Agathiyar came to address her sadness over the weekend in a Nadi reading. It is apparent that even the hands of the Siddhas are tied in certain matters. When Vivekananda was overcome by the sad state of matters where places of worship were being brought down by certain quarters of a different faith, he stood before Goddess Kali and demanded an explanation. She told him that it was her doing. I understood then that she sends ten men to build one and the next moment she sends another 10 to destroy it. I might even build one and come back in another faith in another birth and bring down my very own creation. We know pretty well that even God creates and destroys his creation. We too need to even let go of our attachment to all our creations or what we supposedly have come to assume is our doing or ours. Lord Murugan tested a couple over the weekend if they would part with Agathiyar's statue. As they remained silent, he let them have their way. But I understood that they had missed an opportunity to move on. 

But would not our inaction amount to being selfish and self-centeredness? That was how I was before Agathiyar brought me to his path and got me to do charity and service. Can we just sit still without aiding another? Will we just watch our children fall off a bike? We would definitely run to their aid and enquire if they were well. When others sacrifice poultry and animals in the name of God and to appease the deities, many great souls and Mahatmas sacrificed their very souls for the sake of others and to make a stand and their principles made known. Christ sacrificed his life for mankind. Mother Teresa sacrificed her lifetime in saving and uplifting souls. Ramalinga Adigal tried to bring man out of the rubble that had fallen on him in the name of caste and religion but had to admit his failure. Mahakavi Bharathi had a tough time changing the mindset of people too. Tavayogi too who propagated the path to Gnanam, had to submit to the tide and built a temple for man who still apparently needed external forms of worship.

Agathiyar has at numerous times in coming to us mentioned that there is no right or wrong, no success or failure, no good or bad. In his eyes all were the same. He was educating us to see the same. Only and only then shall peace come upon us. We shall settle in the breath. After learning to let go of our attachments, wants and desires in this journey of life, we should learn to willingly let go even of the breath. Instead of being caught by surprise and finding that one day the breath that flowed in us had left abruptly or stopped, we should learn to observe it each moment and let it go back to where it came from. That is Samadhi or merging the breath with its source.

TAKING THE PLUNGE

As Agathiyar had spoken briefly on Gnanam emphasizing that it was not gifted but we had to work towards it some time back and Lord Murugan spoke in detail the path to attaining Gnanam and the required criteria for one to journey on the path several days ago, when Mahindren came over to AVM a couple of days ago, I told him that perhaps Tavayogi made a mistake in asking us to come out of Bakti and step into Gnanam on the onset. Most were not ready. Agathiyar told us with a heavy heart that many had dropped off the path after gaining short term benefits coming to their worship. Only a rare few stood the ground all these years. 

I met Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal when he came to officiate a branch and affiliate of his Kallar Agathiyar Gnana Peedham in Malaysia in 2005. Soon I was one of the regulars at the local Peedham waiting to hear him speak. Accompanying him to a temple on one of his subsequent visits to Malaysia, he asked me if the locals would accept if he spoke about Gnanam. I told him that we were basically temple going worshippers. I would not know how they would react or receive a call to walk out of Bakti or devotion and take up the path of Gnanam. Both he and Mataji refrained from speaking about it.

As they began to send me copies of the videos on the Annual Jayanthi celebrations for Agathiyar I could not fail but noticed that their speeches were repetitive year in and year out. It sorts of bored me too going through the footages and compiling the videos to be uploaded to my YouTube channel. Receiving a few footages of the recent Guru Puja in January this year from Mataji who was visiting us, I found that the content was the same. Nothing had changed in the absence of Tavayogi. Once I asked him why he spoke the same subject that of Bakti each year and did not move on to the other stages of spiritual development. He turned to me and questioned me if I followed what was said, not implying me but the public who came year in and year out to listen to their talks. He told me that he could only speak about the higher stages if they had followed his earlier discourses and put them into practice. I understood. 

So, when Tavayogi who often told us to move up the ladder and not stay put in Bakti was in the process to build a temple complex for Agathiyar, I connered him asking him why he was building one. He replied that it was not for him but the public. I kept quiet and kept my distance from the project, assisting when called for. I guess he saw through the veil and realized that the public were not ready to take on the journey as yet. They still needed temples and places of worship. They still needed to congregate and hear what masters and gurus have seen and gone through. They were not ready to take the plunge. 

Mahindren who realized this too said that since I listened to him since day one, he made an exception and guided me well through Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam. Indeed, Mahindren made me realize that though Tavayogi failed in bringing the masses to the path of Gnanam, he had found someone who would listen and follow. He officially introduced me to Agathiyar by initiating me into his mantra and the path. He had me follow him into the caves and jungles, had me carry out charity and feeding, had me start lighting the Homam, a fire ritual, that was complemented with libation of Agathiyar who came as a bronze statue to AVM. He officially introduced us to Yoga. Agathiyar and the Siddhas came to teach us on perfecting the breath and witnessing it. Now Lord Murugan has addressed us on the subject of Gnanam. What a perfect end to the cycle that began with our search to know more about the path.

The Siddhas had given us all the tools says Murugan. Indeed, looking back, we realized that they had selectively given us specific tools to use and sail the phases. They had brought us to masters and gurus, and the Siddhas and the deities for a total overhaul for some and specific tuning for others, bringing the vehicle to perform at its optimal performance. The Siddhas and Agathiyar are known to come all the way down to help us and come along all the way if we listen. But on the other hand, if we do not, they back off and let fate deal its blows. 

AVM has lived to its names, Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia, Agathiyar TapoVanam, and Gnana Kottam. Though Tavayogi who had instilled and planted the seed in us, is not around physically we are ready to take the plunge into Gnanam holding the holy feet of Vaalai now as Agathiyar has assured us that he would guide us in his absence.

THE SIDDHAS

When I was called to the path by Agathiyar following my first Nadi reading, I had no idea about the Siddhas. Leafing through the oracle they could tell me about my past, present, and future. I was told that this information was written and documented in the way past, freezing the Siddhas to a bygone era. Leafing through whatever books I could purchase or lay my hands on, and gnawing into them like a hungry caterpillar, we were told that these were men turned Siddhas or the Perfected ones having carried out austerities. "One who is accomplished", "Masters who have achieved a high degree of physical as well as spiritual perfection", "One who has attained a siddhi, paranormal capabilities", "A being who has achieved a high degree of physical as well as spiritual perfection or enlightenment", and "One who has attained physical immortality", are some attempts at defining the Siddhas. With whatever little I could learn from the Nadi readers and armed with Agathiyar's painting and a book containing a long list of names of Siddhas, I started on the road hoping to discover more about them. I made my way to existing establishments carrying the names of Siddhas hoping to gain an insight into Siddha worship as Agathiyar had told me to worship them. But they were engaging in everything else but worship of the Siddhas. Frustrated I began to carry out my own home puja to them, gathering all the songs of praise I could lay my hands on. I started carrying out the Yoga practices that I picked up from books and that were put on hold by Lord Siva coming in a dream some 14 years earlier. I had already been a vegetarian for some five years then.  

With the coming of Tavayogi magically into my life in 2005, I took up his invitation and Agathiyar's directive in my second Nadi reading to visit his ashram, a month after his departure for India. And so a beautiful relationship and journey began on the path of the Siddhas. Prior to that I magically walked into the arms of Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai during my maiden journey to India in 2003 after reading the Nadi to fulfill the remedies and atonements or Parikaram as directed by Agathiyar. If in reading his autobiography, Paramahansa Yogananda opened my eyes to the existence of Godly men, masters and gurus, Supramania Swami lighted the beacon of love and devotion to these Godmen or gurus, having five gurus to his credit. What was hidden from us all these years by pioneers in this field soon came to light with the arrival of Tavayogi. Rather than preach as he did to others, he took me on an excursion into the caves and jungles, had me meet other gurus, and started me on doing charity. I took up from there. Coming subsequently to our shores in 2007, 2008, 2010, and 2016 he showed us the Yoga practice, fine-tuned the rituals, and paved the way for a calm transition to the path. Agathiyar and the other Siddhas introduced more practices and finetuned further existing practices through regular Aasi Nadi reading sessions that at one period of time were held weekly. With the coming of the pandemic and the return of Nadi readers back to India, Agathiyar began to guide us coming through others. Soon deities and other Siddhas came too. If they showered spiritual knowledge, Ramalinga Adigal came helping us tap into the Prapanjam that showered its energy on all those present for a start. They gave us the tools to communicate with the divine energies and heal ourselves, rather than summon them for help each time. The Siddhas that we read of in books materialize in our lives and began to guide us both in the material and spiritual world. P. Karthigayan writes in his book "History of Medical and Spiritual Sciences of Siddhas of Tamil Nadu", that the Siddhas asserted that one needed to attain Atma Siddhi or spiritual immortality and Kaaya siddhi or physical immortality. In Atma Siddhi they preserved their soul with the spirit (or breath) within and in Kaaya Siddhi, they preserved the body and soul (and spirit). While Yogis considered their body as a bag of sin suitable only for worldly life and rejected the same; the latter considered the body as a means to achieve exalted spiritual heights and immortalized their body by scientific means. By eliminating the worldly substances, the Siddhas renewed their body and reincarnated their spirit or breath with the soul within it. The science of achieving death without dying, or Saagaamal Saagum Kalai, which is commonly spoken about as an achievement by the Siddhas, is a loss of substances related to the earth except for the form of their profile. Substances of a perishable nature will be replaced by substances of a cosmic nature and complete the transformation known as Kaaya Siddhi - retaining one's body forever. The Siddhas held the view that "if one "ate" the cosmic substance for immortality, the body will slowly acquire similar cosmic qualities and their mere touch can turn on miracles." For this purpose, the Siddhas discovered Karpam which was of a dual nature, strengthening both the spirit and the body. This science is known in the Siddha circles as attaining Kaaya Siddhi or physical immortality or the deathless physical state attained by altering the natural physical fabric through science that prevailed then, which P.Kartigayan explains as "possessing the blood of Gods in a lustrous body. 

Concentrating on the center of the forehead, called Lalaadam, soon one is led into a thoughtless mental state that of Mounam, says Karthigayan. Prolonging this state is Thavam. Probing the questions in Thavam is Gnanam. He says, "It is believed that such questions will be answered by our own conscience through our spirit's connection to the cosmic library."

Karthigayan refers to Bhogar on how one is slowly groomed on the Siddha path. He starts with the purification of body and mind first, only then is he introduced to the true wisdom distinct from the false that is short-lived. If he has genuine interest he stays to further himself, otherwise, he proclaims himself as a guru and leaves. For those who stay, the divine knowledge shall be revealed slowly based on his determination and merit. Finally, he is given a divine bead that serves as armor in his journey.

They are working towards making us a Siddha too. In wanting to assist me to attain their state too or at least attempt to reach the shores and maybe continue inland in another birth, Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, Tavayogi, Supramania Swami, and the Siddhas have invested their divine knowledge in us. If Tavayogi officially showed me to Agathiyar and launched the Yoga practice in me, Agathiyar pardoned me and erased my past karma Lord Muruga rewrote my destiny. Ramalinga Adigal came to show us Prapanjam and placed us in her good books. Supramania Swami passed on the merits of his 40 years of austerities to me that skyrocketed my state. How can I repay the debt? How can we repay their kindness and compassion? 

LEARNING MORE ABOUT RAJA YOGA

Swami Vivekananda in his "Raja Yoga - Conquering the Internal Nature", Advaita Ashrama, Calcutta, 1998, speaks of this birth that is regarded highly by all the saints.

"The human body is the greatest body in the universe, and a human being is the greatest being. Even the Devas (Gods) will have to come down again and again to attain salvation through a human body. This human birth is the greatest we can have."

Man alone attains perfection, not even the Devas says the Swami. The human birth is necessary to free oneself. The body is the best instrument we have to achieve this purpose. We are moved by Prana to inhale and exhale he says. How do we retain this prana in us? The means is by Yoga. "The form of yoga known as Raja Yoga is based on the aphorisms of Patanjali. The science of Raja Yoga proposes to give us a means of observing the internal states." 

"First, the nerves are to be purified, then comes the power to practice Pranayama. Stopping the right nostril with the thumb, through the left nostril fill in air, according to capacity; then, without any interval, throw the air out through the right nostril, closing the left. Again inhaling through the right nostril eject through the left, according to capacity; practicing this three or four times at four hours of the day, before dawn, during midday, in the evening, and at midnight, in 15 days or a month purity of the nerves is attained; then begins Pranayama."

The transformation comes with Pranayama and the control of the motion of the lungs, says Swami Vivekananda.

"Nerve currents will have to be displaced and given a new channel. New sorts of vibration will begin, and the whole constitution will be remodeled, as it were. But the main part of the activity will lie along the spinal column, so that the one thing necessary for the posture is to hold the spinal column free, sitting erect, holding the three parts - the chest, neck, and head - in a straight line. Let the whole weight of the body be supported by the ribs, and then you have a natural easy posture, with the spine straight."

Swami Vivekananda reminds us the aim, the end, the goal of all yogic training is the liberation of the soul and absolute control of nature. He says "The world is ready to give up its secrets if we only know how to knock." 

Swami Vivekananda says "The whole world is in motion because of Prana. The most obvious manifestation of Prana is the breath. To reach the subtle we must take the help of the gross, and so, slowly travel towards the most subtle until we gain our point. To get into the subtle perception, we need to begin with the grosser perception. From the external, we move to the internal. Use the breath to slowly enter the body and find out the subtle forces at work in the body."

Korakar in his "Chandraregai 200", mentions the means of retaining the breath within and subduing the mind at the same time, making this body God's dwelling.

பான்மையுறப் பதினெண்பேர் நாதாக்கள் தாம்
பாலிதங்களான தொறு ஞான சூட்சம்
மேன்மையுட னோதிடுவேன் வாசி கூட்டி
முக்கோணம் அதனுள்ளே வட்டம் சோதி
ஆன்மமுடன் நீ பார்த்து அசையா துற்றால்
ஆதாரமாக மனம் அசையா துய்யும்
வான் மதியும் ரவியடங்கும் வட்டத் துள்ளே
வாசிவெளி யாகாது ஞான வீடே 192

Its translation,

"I shall share a divine secret of the 18 Nattakal,
Inhaling, bringing your soul or Atma to witness or look into the circular Jhoti within the triangle,
the mind tends to settle, the moon and sun set into the circle,
the breath is stalled within, leading to the kingdom of Gnana."

Kalanginathar also speaks of this triangle in his "Upadesa Gnanam 34".

ஆவியென்ற பிராணமது புருவமீது
அடங்கினால் மறுபிறவி யுண்டாம் பாரு
ஆவியென்ற பிராணனது முக்கோணத்தில்
அடங்கினால் மறுபிறவி யில்லை யில்லை 21

"When the Prana settles in at the Agnai,
there shall be another birth,
But when it settles in the triangle,
there is no further birth."

Tavayogi says, to control Prana is Pranayama. Prana is the vital force that moves this universe and all of creation. The force that moves this universe moves the individual too. It enters the individual through and along one's breath. He says whatever forces are in motion in the universe are also available in the individual as subtle forces. One who harnesses these forces conquers nature and gains control over it. The control of Prana leads to deathlessness. He quotes Siddha Tirumoolar, "The one who masters the art of inhaling, retaining and exhaling of breath need not fear death ‐ he overcomes death."

We are moved by Prana to inhale and exhale. Swami Vivekananda says "All are parts of the same ocean of Prana; they differ only in their rate of vibration" and adds further, "Every part of the body can be filled with this vital force, Prana, and when you are able to do that, you can control the whole body. Great prophets of the world had the most wonderful control of the Prana, which gave them tremendous willpower; they had brought their Prana to the highest state of motion and this is what gave them power to sway the world."

From https://mrpuyal.com/spiritual-aanmeegam/siddhas-secret-goddess-pooja-2/ we come to know the Moola Mantra for Vaalai who is the deity associated with breath. Each Bija mantra in turn is associated with the divine couples Brahma-Vani(Saraswathi), Vishnu-Lakshmi (and Kali), and Siva-Sakti(and Murugan).

“ஓம் ஐம் க்லீம் சௌம்” என்ற மந்திரம் பாலாவின் மூல மந்திரம் ஆகும். ஐம் என்பது பிரம்மா, வாணி பீஜம் ஆகும். க்லீம் என்பது விஷ்ணு, லட்சமி மற்றும் காளி பீஜமாகும். சௌம் என்பது சிவன், சக்தி மற்றும் முருகன் பீஜமாகும்.

We see a relationship between these Bija mantras and their associated deities to the chakras. Brahma-Vani at Svathisthana, Vishnu-Lakshmi at Manipuragam and Siva-Sakti at Anagatham. Vaalai shall then lead us to Maheswaran-Maheswari at Visukthi and Sadasivan-Manonmani settling at Ajna. Vaalai only comes into the picture after we have worshipped Ganesa-Vallabai at Muladhara.

GETTING TO KNOW VAALAI CLOSER

After Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal took me on a tour of some Siddha Samadhi, caves, and temples in Tamilnadu, and upon returning to his hermitage in Kallar on 28 September 2005, I told him I did not want this trip to end like any other tour of pilgrimage spots. I needed something to work on. I asked him what I was to do now. He stared at me for a while before answering. He asked if I was chanting Agathiyar’s mantra regularly. Then he passed me a technique for breathing and asked me to work on it. He told me I had to put in lots of practice. He told me in Tamil, ‘Vaasiye Kadavul’, its translation being, Breath is God. In his book, ‘ATMA DARISANAM’ he quotes a Siddha song, to support his claim, ‘Moochapa Theivam Endru Munnor Sonnar, Munivargalum Sidhargalum Athaithan Sonnar’.

Although we became accustomed to the deity Vaalai whom a devotee and AVM family member used to worship personally and whom Nadi reader Tamaraiselvam worshipped having built a temple for her in India, the first mention of Vaalai was made in a Nadi reading some time back in January of 2017 when Suren approached the latter for a reading in Chennai. The message was conveyed to us at AVM through them. Agathiyar instructed us to include hymns for Vaalai Thaai too during our prayers. I began to compile some songs on her to be recited during our home puja. 

Over the weekend Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal came through the Nadi and a devotee respectively. Moments before they came as we sat chanting the Arutperunjothi mantra, when Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar came out of her meditative state she told me that the message had come across for us to establish the worship of Vaalai at AVM. But since Agathiyar after putting an end to all our puja and charity, told me to go within and observe my breath, I did not intend to start worship and rituals. Mataji in a timely manner tells me that the breath itself was Vaalai. Now I understand what Tavayogi used to tell us then. He had expressed the power and strength of our thought. He used to say that we become our thoughts. For instance, constant thought on Agathiyar shall have us turn into Agathiyar too. This is worship in the actual sense. It is an internal worship where we bring ourselves to focus on a point or thing. Mataji pointed out that this was Taranai or concentration. But it has taken other forms and become an external ritual. In worship, I have come to understand that the intent was to catch the attention of the energies and forces that have taken on numerous forms and names. In reciting a specific mantra we tend to invoke a particular deity. In chanting the names of Siddhas and deities we capture their attention. It is said that the mere mention of the name Agathiyar brings all the Siddhas to look in our direction. Agathiyar too revealed that he was all the Siddhas you can name. They are one. But for the purpose of fulfilling certain purposes and tasks, they took on various names and forms. The bridge is then drawn where they make frequent visitations. Then they take up residence in our homes and hearts too. Eventually, they reside in our blood and breath as Agathiyar says of him, Lord Muruga and Vaalai. All traces of Karma are wiped clean and our destiny is slowly changed. A change takes place in our blood. A transformation takes place in our bodies. They begin to move our breath and all our thoughts and actions that are driven by it. We are renewed in all manner. 

Puja or Pusai in essence has to move on from leaving external rituals to sitting in silence and contemplating as was originally intended. Observing the breath is on its own a form of internal worship. Patanjali in his Yoga Sutras brings us there once we have run the mile doing all external puja and activities. So did Agathiyar have us arrive there. Swami Vivekananda reminds us that the aim, the end, the goal of all this training is the liberation of the soul and absolute control of nature. Man alone attains perfection, not even the Devas says the Swami. The human birth is necessary to free oneself. The body is the best instrument we have to achieve this purpose. Hence he like the Siddhas says the body has to be kept fit.

Surfing the net we learn that she grants Siddhis. Hence I understand when Agathiyar says Siddhis will come by later. It is amazing that he has brought us to the worship of Vaalai too and again. 

We find a very informative article on her at https://mrpuyal.com/spiritual-aanmeegam/siddhas-secret-goddess-pooja-2/  The following extracts from it are of interest as it was mentioned by Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal to us.

"பாலா திரிபுரசுந்தரியை அக கண்ணினாலே கண்டு தான் சித்தர்கள் பூஜித்தனர். எனவே பாலாம்பிகை கோயில்கள் குறைவாகும்."

As Vaalai was the breath, the Siddhas contemplated on their breath and worshipped her within. Hence we find very few temples for her.

"பாலா பரபிரம்மத்தை காண நம்மை கைப்பிடித்து அழைத்து செல்பவள். யோக முதிர்ச்சி, சித்துக்களில் கைதேர்ந்த சித்தர்கள் அனைவரும் வாலையின்றி அந்நிலையை அடைய இயலாது. இந்தக் குழந்தையை வழிபட்டு தான் சித்தர்கள் சித்திகளை பெற்றனர் என்பது நமக்கு தெளிவாகிறது."

Once we have her Darshan within she shall lead us on. It was only possible for the Siddhas to master Yoga and attain the Siddhis with her leading them. Ramalinga Adigal told me that they too held on to her and attained the Siddha state, "நாங்களும் அவளை பிடித்துத்தான் சித்தன் ஆனோம்"

THE SIDDHA FAMILY

When Agathiyar called me to the path after my first Nadi reading in 2002, I came back and carried out the recitation of the names of the Siddhas armed with Agathiyar's painting that the host Sivabalan who brought the Nadi reader  Senthilkumar of Avinashi who then gave me and a small booklet carrying the names of the Siddhas. Returning home I continued the Siddha puja shown by Senthilkumar during the ritual of paying homage to the Siddhas and their Nadi after the reading. My family was left wondering what was happening each time I shut the door to our prayer room. I did not know whether to engage them in Siddha puja for Agathiyar had only asked me to come to his fold. Once they confronted me. It was only in 2005 when Tavayogi came to our shores and I met him for the very first time that he told me to bring them into their fold. Many years later Agathiyar told me that if I wished I could bring my wife along on my journey. Recently Lobha Ma insisted that she follow. 

Since the day Agathiyar came into our lives, he had looked over our shoulders. He saw through several surgical procedures that my wife went through. He saved my elder daughter's fractured leg. He saved my younger daughter's eyesight. Lord Murugan has stood by the latter in all her endeavors and granted all her wishes. Agathiyar who slowly wanted to bring her to his fold left her to do her bid as it was obvious that she carried many desires. She has to live it out. Once when I was upset with the sorrowful state that man had brought onto him and the world and the atrocities happening, I prayed that the world end, she halted me saying that she wanted to live her life and was looking forward to it. I stopped wishing for the world to end since then.

Today Agathiyar is part of our family or rather we are part of his. If Tavayogi had on numerous occasions told us that we do not need the Nadi as Agathiyar was with us, the hesitation and question as to what to ask of him arose when he called to address my daughter and son-in-law over the weekend. He told us that he had willingly come to speak to us through the Jeeva Nadi in the possession of Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar who was visiting us at AVM. 

அறிவிப்பேன் அகத்தியன் தான் என் வழி மழலைக்கு தானே. வாக்கு உரைக்க நான் விளைந்த போது ஏது கேட்பது என்று குழம்பியும் நிற்கிறீர்களே. என்  ஆசியால் என் வழி பக்தருக்கெல்லாம் நல் வழி நல் மார்க்கம் உண்டுதானே. குறை ஒன்றும் இல்லை தாயே. 

He stated their hesitance. Nevertheless, he went ahead to shower them with his grace. He revealed his arrival, accompanied by Korakar and Ramalinga Adigal earlier, at noon that day as we all sat to recite the Arutperunjothi mantra.

இது நாளில் மாந்தர் ஒன்று கூடி என்னை அழைத்தீர்கள். யானும் இவ்விடத்திற்கு வந்தேன். என்னோடு கோரக்கனும் ராமலிங்கனும் வந்தானே அப்பா. எந்தன் ஆசிதனை மனமார பெற்றீர்கள்.

He had a message for me too in her Nadi reading. He revealed the changes that were taking place inside me and gave an insight into my future state. He asked that I worship the breath or Vaasi. She shall come within and guide my breathing, he said. After Agathiyar activated the chakras in me in 2022 I did ask him what I was to do further. He replied "Nothing" and told me that it (the energies) would do its work. 

உன் அத்தனுக்கு நாளுக்கு நாள் அவன் தேகம் அதில் மாற்றங்கள் காணலாச்சி. அன்னவனுக்கு ஆதாரங்கள் வேலை செய்யலாயிற்று. இன்னும் வாசி வழியில் வாழைதனை பூசிக்கவும் வேண்டும் அப்பா. அன்னவள் உல் இருந்து குருதியோடு சுவாச வழியில் இயக்குவாள் பாரேன். இனி வரும் காலம் அன்னவனுக்கு ஞான வழி மார்க்கம் அதில் நல் ஏற்றம் மெல்ல மெல்லக் காணும் அப்பா. அன்னவனுக்கு கடைகாலம் அட்டமா சித்துகள் கூடும் வேலையும் உண்டுதானே. 

If earlier at noon Ramalinga Adigal had said that it was the Vaalai regime now at AVM and she shall lead us just as she led Ramalinga Adigal and all the Siddhas to their present state, like Ramalinga Adigal, Agathiyar also said that Vaalai was here to stay and guide us further. He asked us to worship the Siddhas and her. 

இந்நாள் சித்தர்கள் போற்றும், நாங்கள் போற்றும் வாலை தாய் இவ் இல்லத்திலிருந்து வழி நடத்துவாள். எங்களைப் போற்று. எங்களோடு அன்னவளையும் போற்று. 

As I often mentioned Tavayogi should be around to see these changes, explain to us, and guide us further, Agathiyar told me that he was there for me in the absence of Tavayogi.

மகனே உந்தனை வழி நடத்த நான் இருக்கேன் அப்பா. கலியில் யார் அறிவார் எந்தன் பெருமைதனை. கோடியில் ஒருவன் என்று செப்பினோம் அப்பா. 

In his Nadi, he included his grace for all his devotees. He said that he was aware of the puja that they did in their homes. 

என் வழியில் என்னைச் சரண் அடைந்த மாந்தர்கள் என் அருளால் என் ஆசியால் ஏற்றம் காண்பார் அப்பா. இன்னும் சில சில மாந்தர் ஆழ்ந்து என்னைப் பற்ற உயர்வுகளும் அடைவார் அப்பா. அவர் இல்லம்தனில் செய்கின்ற பூசைதனை யாம் அறிவோம் அப்பா.

He did not forget to acknowledge my wife's contribution too.

எந்நாளும் என் பதம் பற்றி நிற்கும் இப் பீட அறிவிக்கிகு அருள் ஆசி யான் அளித்தேன் அப்பா. 

WHEN THE SOUL AWAKENS

In a dwelling, electricity and water are installed before we move in. Similarly in this dwelling or Udal, the breath or Uyir is given to light up and move all the appliances within it. The Soul or Atma then comes to stay. If the former dwelling is either made of straw, sticks, or bricks, the latter is a pretty complex combination and proportion of gross and subtle elements known as Tatwas numbering 96 in numbers.

The (Jeeva)Atma that was once with the (Para)Atma, takes abode in the womb of a mother.  The Atma that is with us at birth accompanies us for some time at the beginning of our journey. The Atma that was with us initially is soon veiled from us for reasons that Agathiyar is not disclosing at this present moment. But we figured out that it was because we had to pay our dues to the laws of Karma. It was to allow the process of karma to work in each individual. It is the period of payback and settling the scores, making right the wrongs, atoning for past mistakes, forgiving others, and asking to be forgiven, a period where all our karma takes the form of sufferings, illness, misery, misfortunes, etc, and also equally where we are rewarded for all the kindness, charity, love, loyalty, devotion, etc and all our wishes and desires from the past take shape and form. The Atma stands back and veils itself, never intending to interfere with the natural law but to let the process go on and the individuals experience and learn from these experiences. During this time the Atma is bound and its hands tied. The law of cause and effect has to be fulfilled. 

When we are caught in the grips of Maya or illusion in this world we never realize the existence of the Atma. The Atma comes as either an external guru to awaken us from our slumber or awakens within us, ridding Maya completely. By engaging in Aram or in doing charity we offset karma. Tavam or performing austerities brings the grace of the Atma to draw the veils aside. When the ego, desire, and attachment are surrendered we are freed completely. Then we come to know the purpose of our birth. When I asked Agathiyar what was mine he asked me to go within and traverse the many levels or layers and stages or states as if going on an internal pilgrimage. It shall be revealed he said. 

When we become enlightened only then do we realize its existence or rather the Atma awakens to enlighten us. When the (Jeeva)Atma that went into self-exile, when the ego took over our lives awakens, and it gains the strength to make a comeback, and tears down the veils of ignorance, we have gained Atma Balam or Soul Power to move things. That is the moment of Atma Darisanam. We are one with the Prapanjam not dependent on it but working in liaison with it. The Atma in us that is a part of the (Param)Atma then regains its throne and takes its place once again as the inner guru. It shows the way to attain Gnanam. 

Agathiyar revealed that contrary to common understanding, the Atma does not carry the imprints of karma. He revealed that the Atma helps clear our karma by showing us the way. Once karma is cleared the search to know the Atma intensifies. His search for worldly gains loses its intensity. His seeking would be solely on knowing the Atma (Agathiyar) and reaching him.

ஆன்மா உனது கர்ம வினை தாங்கி வருவது அல்ல, ஆனால் ஆன்மாவே உனது கர்ம வினையைச் சரிசெய்வதற்கு உதவி புரியும். கர்மவை சரி செய்த பின், ஆன்மாவின் தேடல் அதிகமாகி மனிதனின் அன்றாட தேடல் தீர்ந்து போகும். அவன் தேடல் முழுதாய் என்னையே தேடி வர முயற்சி செய்யும்.

Among God's creations, only man can know his Atma and reach out to it. The Atma is separated after a period of co-existence, and veiled from us for the rest of our lives for most of us. The Saints rediscover it though. Once our actions deserve a reprieve the Atma draws the veil and shows itself. Once the debt is settled the Atma draws the veil aside to show itself. This is Atma Darisanam. This can happen during deep meditation where the very heat of our Tapas burns our karma to ashes or at the pilgrimage and sacred spots that we head to battering the cold weather, heat, sun, and rain, and the difficulties accounted. If we recognize it, the Atma comes to stay forever henceforth. The Atma now lends a hand in settling the past account and debts. Once the debt is settled, we are given refuge. The Atma helps us rid the remaining karma through Tavam, austerities, and Aram or acts of charity. It then points out the path back to our real and permanent abode or "home". It brings us to a guru or the guru arrives promptly. As in ஆட்கொள்ளல் the Atma comes to regain its right over us and brings on the memory of our connection with it/Agathiyan/Erai/God/Param. The Atma shall help him recall his past ventures and bring forth these experiences. The one whose Atma awakens in him comes in search of the Siddhas. The Siddha shall usher, guide, and care for him henceforth.

அவனுக்கு அந்த ஆன்ம அவனுடைய முன் ஜென்ம அனுபவங்களை அவனுக்குத் தூண்டிவிடும். தீண்டல் பெற்றவன் சித்தனை நாடி வந்து விடுவான். சித்தனும் உங்களைக் கவனித்து வருவார்கள். 

It is only when we surrender the "I" that the Atma returns to reign. Its reign of course would be in line with the divine as opposed to that of the "I" that exercises its superiority. When the Atma comes back to regain control of the Udal and Uyir it brings on massive transformation within the body often without our input and brings on the whole of Prapanjam within too. Agathiyar tells us that the power of the Prapanjam is limitless. இந்தப் பிரபஞ்ச சக்தி எண்ணில் அடங்காதவை. We understand the state of Agathiyar now when he says that the Prapanjam is in him and he is in the Prapanjam. Just before he left AVM he brought down the full force of the Prapanjam to take his place. He left for another dwelling where the devotees carry on the rituals for his bronze statue something that me and my family had done since 2010. 

The rituals we did bridged us to their worlds. Agathiyar entered our dwelling and home whenever he passed by over home on his way to Pothigai, Kailash, or Kallar. Agathiyar at one stage had told us that he would tackle the "hardcore" souls whom he brought to Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) and bring clarity within them. After 2018, he began to use our place to meditate hence naming it Agathiyar Tapovanam Malaysia (ATM). When he came to disperse Gnanam, he named the place Gnana Kottam. 

My dwelling has seen a facelift recently that he had initiated. Similarly, he reiterated that subtle changes were taking place within too in the Jeeva Nadi reading read for us by Mataji during her visit to AVM over the weekend. Later Lord Murugan coming through a devotee during puja for Agathiyar in his new home briefly touched on these changes too. Lord Murugan had told the host at Agathiyar's new home earlier through a Nadi reading in 2018, that their home was akin to Tiruvannamalai and was a place where karma would be vanguish for those who enter their home. The Siddhas are using all avenues available to awaken our souls towards gaining soul power to beat the odds, bring changes to our viewpoints, perspectives, and understanding, and renew and recharge us to carry out their work here. In my eagerness to haul everyone on board the wagon heading for Gnanam, Lord Murugan put a stop and halt explaining who should board and who was not ready by giving a discourse on Gnanam a couple of days ago. If in the heydays of AVM, I had aspired to bring everyone along to walk the path of the Siddhas, Agathiyar had me bring the shutters down on AVM in 2019 sending others to carry out their responsibilities first and return later. As for me, he had me go within. He told me to move on and not wait for others as my journey would then stall. I was already 60 then. Time was running out for me. When I told Lord Murugan that we would need a long life to accommodate all these changes அதற்கு நீண்ட ஆயுளும் வேண்டுமே, he replied that that is the reason we are reborn again and again, அதற்காகத்தான் மனிதர்களுக்கு அத்தனை பிறவிகள். I guess I would have to come back to continue from where I left just as Tavayogi said too.