Just as we learn in the documentary "Astrum" that the light we are looking at is old," and that "Although light is the fastest thing we know, the image of the sun that we see from the earth is approximately 8 minutes and 20 seconds old, meaning we are viewing what the sun looked like a few minutes in the past", and "If you count how long it takes the photons generated within the sun's core to make their way through each layer of the sun before escaping into space, the light that reaches us is anywhere from 10,000 to 170,000 years old", Agathiyar says that like the sun and all things Gnanam dispense to one steps back into the past immediately after it is uttered, hence the reason he asks us to connect with the Prapanjam directly so that we would receive its message directly and not forget or rely on memory.
Living in the present is important, especially in the presence of a guru. But what we do is begin to vomit all that we saw, learned, and experienced before him, revisiting the past. Now we understand the reason we are asked to remain silent in the presence of the guru so that we might imbibe the messages that arrive in real-time and not dwell on the past knowledge or cook up the next question. I saw seekers going on for hours questioning Tavayogi when he was in a local Peedham or went on his rounds officiating other Peedhams. It is said that Lord Dhakshanamurthy stopped speaking to his disciples when he realized that it only invited more questions and queries from them. The moment he remained silent Gnanam dawned on his disciples.
The Siddhas will free you and never keep you captive. If we had been instilled with fear and devotion in temple worship, we carry that into the worship of Siddhas too. We fear the guru now. We begin to get caught in another web of Maya having slipped out of the former. Learn to say no even if Agahiyar was to give you an honorary title. One can say that he did not ask but Agathiyar has conferred on him, asked yourself if you would accept death then if Agathiyar was to bestow it right now. Know that this is how the Siddhas test us. Know that this is how the vasanas and desires in us come out into the open and see fruition. Rather than live out these desires and bring on and add further Karma, one should pray that Agathiyar burns these vasanas even before they arise in us. When Agathiyar sent two youths and asked that I initiate them into his mantra and teach them Vaasi or breathing techniques, he added that henceforth I shall be guru to them. I had never wanted to be one. But he said that I had asked for it. I was perplexed. I guess it was a vasana in me that was granted now. But as I was not keen he cut off the bond even before it could grow further. They never came around again.
Asking me to build a temple for him in my first Nadi reading in 2002, which I considered a privilege then, and was floating on cloud nine, he burst the cloud and I landed on my face almost immediately when Sivabalan, who accompanied me in the reading and who had the readers come over from India and stay at his family home, told me that Agathiyar had requested 50 others the same. As Sivabalan told me to pursue since none had responded, I began to scout for an existing temple that its committee would allow to have me place Agathiyar. None agreed to part with the space they had. I dropped my search.
When Supramania Swami ignited the flame again telling me that he wanted to build a temple for Lord Murugan in Tiruvannamalai and asked for financial assistance, we went ahead to buy a piece of land close to his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar's samadhi temple. But a stranger walks up to him at his cottage or kudil he built at the site while awaiting for the temple to materialize and asks him why he was stepping back into Bakthi from Gnanam. He dropped his intention immediately. But when Agathiyar directed Tavayogi, to Agathiyar Vanam in the Kallar foothills after his bout of travels that brought him to Sathuragiri, and asked him to build an ashram and temple Tavayogi said that it was for the people. We helped him build a new ashram cum temple some 2 kilometers away later.
In 2018, Lord Murugan in a Nadi reading brought up the subject of the temple asking me to build one for him adding that I would do it differently when I asked him silently in my mind how many more temples he wanted. I wondered how different could a temple be? Later he sends Agathiyar to coax me into doing it coming through a devotee. As I chose to remain silent he went on and told me that he shall do it. As the said time of 18 months approached and there was nothing up, he told me in his Nadi that he had tested me. I guess I had passed his test.
Recently in coming through a devotee, he says that my home was the temple that Lord Murugan meant. Just days ago he tutored me sharing his Gnanam telling me that what was built on the ground shall perish but that which we built in our hearts shall be forever in existence. I guess we had all carried the Siddhas and the deities in our hearts for Agathiyar revealed that we have been together for crores and crores of years. In pointing out to us that everything that materialized was a product of Maya that is apt to constant change, he dared us to find out that which never changes. The Atma in us is eternal. He asked that we begin to know it. In knowing it we shall come to know that he, all the Siddhas, deities, and us are one.
When Suren who returned from India, passed me a couple of audio Cd's that he had received from Dr.V.N.Jayapalan in Bangalore, I listened to his songs on Agathiyar and the narration of the origin of Agathiyar's temple at Agasthiyampalli. When we heard that the visiting Siddha physician was in town we went over to meet him. I was pretty eager and excited to know more about Agasthiyampalli as it was here that Agathiyar opened his left eye in his granite statue to see us when I traveled with Tavayogi to the Siddha abodes in town and in the jungles in 2005. But the Dr. disappointed me telling me that there wasn't anything else to say. It told me that it was all in the Cd. He went on to speak about many other things that were of no interest to me then. But today I appreciate and understand his stand pretty well. Time and experience have taught me a lesson. As he did not elaborate further he did not alter the facts. What was conveyed to him through his meditation came to us As It Is.
In the days of my Nadi reading the reader would write out the revelations taking a transcript of what Agathiyar spoke telling me that it was Agathiyar's directive, and only then begin to explain and elaborate further. But as the Nadi picked up and he had long queues of people waiting to read, he skipped writing it for me and went on to read and translate immediately. Coming back home I would listen and extract only the words of Agathiyar and continued writing it out. I was only interested in knowing the exact words that Agathiyar spoke and not the explanations. Recently in exposing Maya in all fields, Agathiyar pointed out that the tools and mediums could fabricate, and instill fear and anguish in listeners not with intent but in their excitement to explain the contents in the Nadi.
In 2017, when Suren and I sought to know the origin of Agathiyar as they say from the horse's mouth after being disillusioned with reading, hearing, and watching from numerous sources, Agathiyar though he hesitated for a moment in the Nadi, asking us why we wanted to explore the source, Aadhi and Antham, obliged us by giving us a little insight into his birth. But on the onset he instructed in the Nadi that the reader should read it As It Is and not attempt to give an explanation or elaborate further.
Agathiyar told me and others some time back to read the original texts of the songs of the saints and not to go for the translation, commentary, and explanations given. He told us that the author be it a Siddha or Nayanmar or other saints shall come within to clarify what they had experienced As It Is. As the mediums are bound to taint the sacredness of the sacred texts and words of saint, Siddhas, Rishis, and Mahaans, with their explanations and commentaries, Agathiyar has us refrain from reading them to avoid confusion. Only the saint knows what he meant to speak or write. Besides the fact that we could err in our understanding of the subject, we could end up giving limbs and forms, tags, and names to these in wanting to simplify them for the masses.
Spiritualism is not about acquiring but of letting go. Life that begins with acquiring things, concepts, etc has to end empty. If we had acquired every material possible right from the very cells to a body and attire and position and respect, money and fame, properties and achievements, all these has to go either forcefully in death or willingly before facing death.
It is not that we should not taste life and the pleasures that it has to offer but to be ready to drop them when called for. It is about not getting attached. For one who has emptied himself what appears eventually as darshan is his soul. This is Atma Darisanam. He stands naked and uncloth having dropped the numerous veils and layers. He has entered emptiness or Vetavezhi loosely translated as Eternity.
I was a follower back then as a kid, obedient and respectful. I took up worship after leaving my family home and taking up a career upon completing my college studies. Actually, it was to fill my time or rather kill my time after work. I used to worship at dawn and dusk and visit the temples in the vicinity. I made friends with others and their families and began to see the troubles they went through. I began to question God if it was justified to just sit and watch them suffer. Wasn't a God who is said to be compassionate supposed to save his devotees and keep them from harm's way? Seeing my mind in turmoil Lord Shiva came in a dream in 1988 and told me to shelve all my questions to a later date. I got the answer to their sufferings when I saw the Nadi after 14 years in 2002 where Agathiyar opened up about Karma and its effects mentioning that I too had brought with me the baggage. He gave me remedies to help unload the baggage. Three years into the first reading all doors opened up mysteriously. With the coming of my guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai who merited me his entire 40 years of Tavam or austerities it skyrocketed me up the ladder as in the game of snake and ladder. As I took up the call to come to the worship of the Siddhas in the Nadi and inherited "the cash deposit" that I received from my guru, my second guru whom I met in 2005 told me that he was surprised that I had made it this far unscathed and hurt. Taking up his teachings in the absence of Supramania Swami then, I was shown Agathiyar officially. Traveling the journey carrying out rituals and Yoga that Tavayogi taught us, Agathiyar came to add to the Gnanam that we received from him. On Wednesday he asked us to even drop that too adding to the long list of gifts and treasures Agathiyar gifted us and had us drop later. He tells us that all these were booby traps laid out on the path to trap us and keep us in the clutches of Maya further. It is all his divine play.
Agathiyar asks us to quit investigating into his origin and stop singing his praises and wonders but instead wants us to investigate our souls. Prod the soul and come to know it, he asks. I was surprised when a staunch devotee of a saint who lived some 353 years ago, uttered Agathiyar's mantra when Agathiyar asked what mantra was going on in him. I was expecting him to recite his guru's name and mantra. I believe his soul replied then. In coming before us Agathiyar always addresses our souls. But we misunderstand and think he is asking the name and form that we believe is us. We come before him asking for favors and seek boons that bring on pleasures and comfort. We let him know our worldly desires, which he time and again reminds us to drop. But yet he gives his blessings. But one must remember to face the consequences of our asking, either way, whether it does us good or harm later, alone.
If we had our parents and grandparents to guide us in the beginning and teachers later, for those seeking to know themselves, the gurus come along. But Agathiyar tells us that like other gurus he is only there to show us the way. He does not produce the results for us. We have to strive and work to accomplish the results.
Just as we keep our homes clean and tidy, he asked that we keep our body, mind, and thoughts pure. This would suffice.
In the series "Photographer S1 E1" we are told "The only way you can change the world is with stories. And the bigger your legend becomes, the easier it is to share the story. People want to hear it. They want to listen."
Stories have been told of ancient times since ancient times. Sitting around a fire, sitting under the night sky, whenever communities gather these stories were acted out and reenacted as in plays and stage dramas. Now it is told through some moving movies. This blog too is about stories. Stories about adventurers walking the path of the masters, teachers, gurus, and Siddhas before them. In adopting their ways we too find a new path that is viable and appropriate for the current times. No one can possibly carry out the feat that Agathiyar is said to have carried out - sitting on the bottom of the ocean in tapas or tavam for 12 long years. Times have changed. What is and was appropriate for then would not be now.
But we too have come a long way in this journey having taken, according to Agathiyar, crores of births. We have lived in the past. We need not live in the past now. We have to drop it and move on. We have to usher the new and drop the old. That is progress. That is evolution. What travels with us is the experiences we gain in each birth. This is what child prodigies tend to tap into and continue. Agathiyar too says that we continue from where we left.
The idea in taking birth is, contrary to the common belief that it is to accumulate be it wealth and knowledge, is to drop it after having tasted and experienced it. Following in the footsteps of a child, we need to move on instead of hugging these toys throughout our lives.
If Tavayogi told us to come out of Bakthi into Gnanam giving us the rituals in worship to experience and later taught us Yoga that prepared the body to become an abode of the divine or rather cleansed the debilitated and dark altar within us to receive the Light, both he and Agathiyar infused Gnanam in stages after having us go through the experiences. In having us drop each method and way, as did Ramalinga Adigal in progressing on the Pilgrim's Progress, Agathiyar days ago reminded us to even drop Gnanam acquired. If earlier in the eighties Lord Shiva coming in a dream told me to drop my baggage of readings and knowledge acquired, in coming to read the Nadi in 2002 Agathiyar pointed out the huge baggage of Karma that I was carrying and over the years helped me lay it down, and had me lay down the guilt that I carried too, asking me first to pardon myself, and others too, added that he was the mastermind behind the show wanting me to have those experiences too. All these experiences will help empower our souls to attain Atma Balam or Soul Power he tells us now.
If he told us earlier that Gnanam wasn't gifted but was an accumulation of our experiences traveling first in the material world and later moving within the chakras until it dawns on us, last Wednesday, he asked me what further use is Gnanam to one who has seen the space or emptiness . "வெட்டவெளியை கண்டவனுக்கு எதற்கு ஞானம்?"
If we have always been tuned to look for the divine and its miracles outside, the Siddhas teach us to see it within. In preparing this body to become a temple or clearing and cleaning this temple, opening up the doors and windows to allow a breath of fresh air in, lighting up or kindling the dying fire in us to burn bright, we become the house of God and the very light. Here then live Agathiyar, Muruga, Shiva, (and the other deities and Siddhas), and us, he says.
I guess there was a reason many sacred texts were burned or destroyed in floods in the past. It was to free man I suppose from his over-dependency on them to the extent that man became fanatics and less humane as he was supposed to be. Ram Dass who says in the documentary "Becoming Nobody" that life is no error and that it was all meant to be for us to gain experiences, shares his "formless friend" Emmanuel's words that "You took a human birth. You are so busy being Holy. Why don't you try being Human?"
When Agathiyar asked us why we came to the Siddha path some time back, many could not answer and chose to remain silent. Those who answered dished out wonderful replies such as wanting to be with him, to serve him, and wanting the generally acclaimed states of Mukti, Gnanam, etc. Just as we are blind walking the streets in the material world we seem to walk the alleys of the spiritual world blindfolded too. We literally do not have a vision in the former and a vision of the latter. The irony is many begin to lead others just as the blind lead another. I pray that I am not one of those blind leading another.
Just as Ramalinga Adigal in mentioning his journey in his songs, after seeing newer frontiers in his life later, discarded certain methods and ways of approach that he had traveled earlier in life, much of what is written in these blog in the earlier days might not hold water or have a weightage now as we have come to progress on the pilgrim's journey, having gained new insights and experiences. So should I stamp these as false and remove these posts? Unlike certain quarters opting to hide Ramalinga Adigal's earlier works from public sight, good sense told me to let this blog postings be for each soul has to walk the path passing through each milestone and coming to a realization. Sadly I am told that many who profess the way of Ramalinga Adigal step into his final method and ways rather than wanting to travel the tried and proven path from the start and gain those experiences for themselves too. It was only after I traveled the phases of Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam that I arrived at Gnanam which helped me know and distinguish Maya that had clothed all of creation and every single sight and speech, thought and action and all the phases mentioned too. The false is required to know the truth just as darkness is required to see the light. If I am all light how do I see and experience it? Hence we read that the Little Soul who was with God asked to come down for the experience in Neale Donald Walsch's "Conversation with God".
If the idea of moving into spiritualism was to seek the Self and settle in it, thinking we have escaped the clutches of the material world we get caught in the traps and snares of the spiritual world. We seem to jump from the frying pan into the fire. There are those who in wanting to gather and bring others to the way, envision and build centers, ashrams, peedhams to have them congregate. We come to face an exact scenario just as we do with a home, but a much larger one with having to build and maintain these structures. Just as in the home, here too there are utility bills that need to be settled monthly but on a bigger scale. Just as we entertain visitors to our homes to a meal, funds are needed to continue feeding visitors to these centers. We begin to source for money losing our sights on our goal. Worst still is that we cannot bring ourselves to pass on our responsibilities to another, wanting to hold on til death do us part, or we take ill. Just as a person cried out that someone was pickpocketing his cash as he lay dying, now laying ill we fear that those entrusted to take over the establishment would pocket the public funds that we have painfully collected over the years for their own use. Then there are some who eye these posts and get disappointed and leave when they are sidelined.
Then we have those who are so focused, adamant, rigid, and fanatic for all the wrong reasons. Their sight is set on the meals rather than the practice. What is vegetarian? The greens that grow in the soil feed on nutrients derived from things falling to the ground and rotting including decaying carcasses. In BBC Earth's "Planet Earth lll - Forests", Richard Attenborough tells us that the forest in Canada flourishes because the bears catch and bring the salmon ashore and after eating them leave their remains behind.
"This annual feast helps her to fatten ready for the winter ahead. But it also helps the patch of forest where she lives. This female has an unusual relationship with the forest. Every fish carcass she leaves behind decays releasing nutrients that soak into the soil. And there they are collected by a network of fungi. The treads attach themselves to the tree's roots. And nutrients from the fish collected by the fungi are then passed on to the trees. As a consequence, the forest around the river grows three times faster than elsewhere. And some trees here become as tall as any in the world. And provides the bears with a healthy home. We now know that such relationships exist in the forest all over the world."
The water that we drink is from the rivers where all forms of organisms flourish. The air that we breathe in carries with it minute living organisms too. The skin carrying minute organisms come into contact with other humans and meat forms. Yes, man himself is a pack of meat made of muscles and bones and ends as food for certain larger animals when they cross paths or ends as food for smaller organisms when he drops his carcass to the ground contributing to the food chain. Who then is a true vegetarian as the term has been made out to be? It just doesn't make sense and the tussle doesn't seem to end. Maya indeed is in all worlds. It is not the meal but the intent to kill that is in question here as in the Buddhist practice. What matters is to drop the thought that moves us into action. Doctors are known to ask vegetarian patients recovering from operations and illnesses to take fish as their bodies need a lot of protein during these stages of recovery to rebuild cells and tissues. Agathiyar and Bhogar have asked certain devotees to take fish too telling them that their bodies need them. There is an allocation in Siddha medicine to prescribe fish as medicine to patients. A Siddha physician we know has asks his vegetarian patients to consume fish for their bodily needs and to recover. As someone said the heavens are not made of vegetarians alone, let us not become fanatics. Who then needs to be a vegetarian? Those who desire to transform this body back into Light.
If sex is considered taboo in the spiritual world, Agathiyar asked us to have a healthy relationship with our spouse telling us to practice healthy sex too. Ramalinga Adigal like Agathiyar has advocated it. Tirumular gives guidelines to determine the sex of the child yet to be born from this unison. Bhogar has spoken about the sex trade. Agathiyar went into intimate details of intimacy to a couple he met asking me to remain by his side and telling me that I too needed to know. He says these are required by the body. He jolts us from our dream world asking us why, when he stood before Lord Shiva as a full-fledged Siddha, Rishi, and Muni, a renunciate and a yogi, Lord Shiva told him that he had not attained completeness or Paripuranam. The Lord told him that he had yet to get married. Lord Shiva fixed his marriage to Lobama.
Let us not cut our ties with others just because they chose to take a different meal. Let us not cut our ties with others just because they are born into another race or religion. Let us not cut our ties with others just because they hold on to another faith and beliefs. Essentially we are all humans. As such we should be humane towards all. As man is often considered superior to others let us take care of the lesser beings just as it is our duty to take care of the young.
I am glad that Tavayogi at the onset broke my hold on things and attachment even to him showing me to Agathiyar instead. I am glad that as I near the end of my life and my journey Agathiyar has broken my attachment even towards him, tearing the masks of Maya into shreds. I am glad I never fell for all these or as Agathiyar says for want of its experiences, with their grace, managed to escape to safe ground after placing my foot into these dark pits.
I was the shy and timid type back then. But when we, the lads of Indian origin gathered together and spearheaded the setting up of an Indian Cultural and Arts Society at secondary school, I was picked to head the society. Later turning up at the Parent Teachers Association meeting at my daughter's school, I was nominated and elected the chairman though I tried to turn it down. When Tavayogi came I brought him over to a home that had turned into a center. Tavayogi cornered me by telling the gathering that I shall speak about the Siddhas. I sat dumbfounded. I knew nothing about them as I was pretty new too to the path. But since I knew something about Tavayogi I spoke about him for a couple of minutes. My mind raced to find a way to escape. I began to sing the Arutperunjothi mantra knowing that everyone would join in. The mantra saved me that day.
When I began to write about my maiden travel to India on several websites back then and carried videos on Kallar ashram in 2003 and 2005 respectively, a friend picked up a photo of my first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai and posted it on his FB. A negative comment from his friend drove me to remove all the sites and postings, not wanting to let others smear my gurus. Narrating my action later to Tavayogi he asked me, "Why son? Let it be." Taking his desire into account, I soon began to start from zero. Later seeing the ease with which we could attach multimedia on blogs, not having to learn the tools required in websites, I began to blog. Agathiyar then comes by giving the thumbs-up and encourages me to write further often giving me the subject, words, and sentences too.
Knowing I was not cut to be a teacher for I never had the patience to teach, I kept the Asanas and Pranayama techniques that I learned from Tavayogi to myself. Furthermore, he never told me to teach another. Agathiyar comes along and asks me to teach Mahindren and has Mahindren teach the others later. When Agathiyar brought youths to watch and participate in my home puja after their Nadi readings in 2013, I never saw myself as a guru but one who was journeying together with them. Some time back he introduced three souls asking me to initiate and teach them both his mantra and practice, telling me that I had desired to be a guru. I questioned him back, "When did I ask for it" and he remained silent. Soon I came to terms that maybe it was a Vasana brought over from a past life that had to see the light of day. But soon they never came back nor contacted me. I was freed from yet another trap. Looking back I was wise in many ways to reject the offers, either at the onset or in the midst, that he made along the journey. Building a temple, starting an ashram/peedham/movement/ etc. The gift of the Nadi for my use and others. The gift of healing others. The gift of being a medium for them to come through and sort others' lives.
I am truly at peace now just attending to "nothing" for he had relieved me of all the doings. There is nothing more to do, attend to, or say. All the puja has stopped. The rituals have stopped. The charities too. The Yoga practices too were brought to a halt. What he has me carry on is writing this blog. He had told me that I shall remain behind the curtains which I was delighted to hear. I shall remain his tool and let him write.
No one wants my money. It is true. When I befriended a friend at my office who frequented an astrologer, I too began to consult him. He never spoke about payment. As he was a Siddha physician too, when he passed me the Siddha medicines, he never asked for payment. After the demise of the astrologer and Siddha physician whom I came to consult since 1996, when I saw another Siddha physician he too never spoke about payment till this day. When I read the Nadi for the very first time in 2002, Agathiyar stipulated that I pass over an amount as Naadikku Dhanam or a token of appreciation to the Siddhas for documenting and revealing about my(story) in the Nadi. That was the only moment an amount was mention that I pass on to the reader. Later when I read the Nadi some 56 times till 2019 and again recently, the Nadi reader never spoke about payment. I wonder why? Although all these souls never charged me for consultations and medicine, I always left a token behind before leaving. All things fell into place in my life too without me seeking, be it my studies, my career, my marriage, my home, the path and my gurus. I wonder why?
So how do I repay for God's kindness? I guess by speaking his greatness. Would that suffice? Many in adoration for him declare their lives in surrender. But the irony is that the very life we are living is not ours to part with. It is his gift. So, what is ours that we can give him in return for his kindness? Dropping the notion that we are separate. Dropping this state of Maya. In identifying with him, the part becomes the whole or complete or Paripuranam. This is what Agathiyar meant when he replied asking if we were not one, when he asked that I drop my attachment to him too.
Agathiyar opened his eyes in both his granite statues at Agasthiyampalli and Papanasam in 2005 and told me that these miracles would continue once I was back home from my pilgrimage. When he told me to commission his bronze statue in Swamimalai and have it brought over to my home in 2010, he asked us to "energize" and give it "life" by chanting or reciting his name 100,000 times. With continuous libation to his statue and worship, Agathiyar opened his eyes in the bronze statue in 2013. Returning from his ashram, Tavayogi had us start doing the Homam in our home too. When I dragged my feet in doing it as I was not keen on rituals, Agathiyar came in the Nadi and told me that it was for the good of Prapanjam and all its creation. When Tavayogi started us on Yoga giving us several techniques in 2007, and when my Muladhara chakra was activated unknowingly in 2010, I had extreme cruciating pain in my back and body over the next few years. Agathiyar asked me to lay off the practices in 2012, only to have me start back in 2019. In 2023 he had me part with his statue only to return several weeks ago. He now tells us that he was not (only) in the statue and asked to refrain from performing further rituals and just imbibe and take in his energies just as we should at Samadhis. He asked me that since I had successfully let go of my attachment to his form (as in his statue), when was I going to let go of my attachment to him? When I replied, "How could I?" he answered, "Aren't our souls one?" Then we have Sivavakiyar through his songs question us if the act of circumambulating and placing flowers at the feet of stone images or idols of gods, and if the act of reciting mantras would bring these stones to speak, when the Lord resides in each of us.
“நட்ட கல்லைச் சுற்றி வந்து நாலு புஷ்பம் சாற்றியே; சுற்றி சுற்றி வந்து முணு, முணுக்க சொல்லும் மந்திரம் ஏதடா! சுட்ட சட்டி சட்டுவம் கறிச்சுவை அறியுமோ! நட்டகல்லும் பேசுமோ; நாதன் உள்ளிருக்கையில்..!”
If Agathiyar started me with carrying out worship of the Siddhas, reciting the names of Siddhas, making offerings of food, bathing, and clothing his statue, lighting the sacrificial fire and placing offerings in it, then we have Agathiyar in his songs tell us that once the mind settles there is no need for rituals, to chant mantras, nor to control the breath, etc. As we had unknowingly brought our focus and concentration to these acts, it was akin to meditation. The mind eventually settles on its own. In carrying out all these precise methods and practices, helped tame the mind.
It might seem that the messages of the Siddhas contradict each other. We have to understand that there is no one formula for all. Each method and practice, remedy or ritual is customized for each soul that steps up before the Siddhas seeking refuge, salvation, solace, and peace. It is given when and if we are ready to receive and put it into practice and no sooner. We have to understand that the method and practices too have to be dropped, just as we let go of our hold and grip on the rope to reach further up. Hence Sariyai prepares us to receive the path, with us visiting temples in our neighborhood regularly, going on pilgrimages, and praying at home. When we are ready God whom we accepted as residing in temples and in idols and paintings takes the form of a guru in the physical form to take us on the path most suited for and desired by our soul or JeevAtma. God who introduces us to our gurus, as he did introduce me to Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram, has the guru "re-introduce" us to our long-lost buddy, the soul, bridging the bond we once had with our soul before birth, during conception, while in the womb and only to leave us after several years of our existence as a child. If the rituals help bridge both our worlds, the earth and the heavens, the guru helps draw the fallen bridge between the gross body and the subtle soul. Just as Tavayogi stepped back after introducing me to Agathiyar and Agathiyar stepped back after introducing us to Vaalai, she, in turn, stepped back to introduce us to the larger Prapanjam beyond form and name. The guru stepped back after drawing the veil and showing us our true Self, the JeevAtma which now takes reign of its kingdom once again and henceforth dictates us accordingly. Having us travel the path or phases of Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam, the JeevAtma appears before us bringing on Gnanam that dispels the ignorance and our perception of the world and all in it, revealing its nature that it is there to stay forever, in life and death. We learn that only the ParamAtma was, is, and shall be around forever. Life and death are only doors that we have passed through numerous times for eons and ages. The JeevAtma comes to help shed the previous beliefs, practices, and bindings we have on all things external and changing. It makes us understand that all that changes is Maya and has us seek that which is beyond change. We settle in the JeevaAtma and carry out its dictates. The search stops. All reading stops. All actions that we desire stop. Every move of ours is that which the JeevAtma dictates. The JeevAtma in us reunites with the Atmas in others and all of nature, realizing that it was all one all the while. The JeevAtma in us begins to connect with others and elevates them too to know their Self too. As the JeevAtma is a part of the whole, the ParamAtma, we become enlightened souls or Jeevan Muktas. We then become a JeevanMukta having attained Mukti while living.
If I was with God and chose to come to take on experiences and learn lessons, why should I being a soul (JivAtma) that is part of the whole (ParamAtma) choose to live life in only one body and not many simultaneously? Is this the reason I came across a Nadi carrying my name, my parent's name, number of siblings, and career all told right but the name of my wife was that of another? It is said that we are made in the same image amounting to seven. How do we explain these? Was this a parallel life that I was living?
If I was a part of the whole, then I am also in every Tom, Dick, and Harry, living a life and taking on the experiences of this very moment in everyone. In this sense, if we feed another we're feeding ourselves. If we injure another we're hurting ourselves, right? This means that the One, that is whole has taken on all forms in creation and assimilated these experiences for itself using individual forms and names as in us and others. What a game it is. Is this what Maya is all about? Manifestations of the One and the whole.
This and other questions are in need of an answer. For instance how far do we intervene in other's Karma? In carrying our baggage of Karma, each time we cross paths with another we are either shedding or adding on to our load. So is it with others. In the event we extend a helping hand how much do we do? Where do we draw the line? Most of the professions and businesses too are constantly engaging in saving lives and changing the living standards of others by providing housing, food, clothing, education, etc. In providing these we are helping to extend the life span of people as in the former and improve their living standards as in the latter. This is what Agathiyar too has spelled out in his 5 tenets to mankind listing his purpose here. Then we have another ideology of sitting back and just watching the world and its affairs go by. Some saints advocate this. So do we follow in the footsteps of Mother Teresa and help others or sit back and mind our own business? If it was not for the Siddhas pleading to Lord Shiva to allow them to reveal the divine secrets behind the machinery of creation and its sustenance, who would we turn to to escape the time loop and the web that we have spun for ourselves? These are grey areas that are not answered as yet.
Karma which has become a household word among many is true only until we come to the Siddhas. When things go wrong which they often do, we are pointed to the Nadi readers and the Nadi readings. They pass on the messages of the Siddhas, at times over-emphasized and with a pinch of fear instilled. While some choose to brush them aside many go along with the directives to carry out remedies seeking for solace and peace in their home front, careers, and everything under the sky. For those who choose to take up the path after settling their past scores and debts, Karma is not a threatening issue anymore. The Siddhas hardly raise the issue again. Whatever happens after locking gears with the Siddhas, is now an accumulation of experiences and learning lessons. If initially upon revealing our past Karma we are sent to carry out remedies or Parikaram at specific temples and places, after shifting into high gear on the path of the Siddhas, all our actions are in tune and turn out to appease the remaining Karma without even we realizing it. To those few who have earned the grace of the guru or Siddhas, and put in practice whatever is taught, the Karma is burned into ashes by their very practices.
I was sad to see someone manipulate the facts and tell his audience that there were no past and future births. Messaging him later he apologized telling me that he was forced to say this since everyone who came to him for a cure either harped on Karma or never gave a care for it, the former associating every happening with Karma and the latter putting aside every work and effort to another day or the next birth. Although his intention was good in having them live the day and not fret on the past or postpone a task to another date, he manipulated the truth of the matter.
Knowing about Karma is a valuable tool to bring us back on the right track. But just as a tool in the hands of a 'weak' person can harm him, it could bring one to his knees never able to walk again. He begins to fear the word and all his actions or might even begin to fear his own shadows.
It is man who creates fear in others. God loves us for being ourselves. Neale Donald Walsch shares God's words with us in his book "The Wisdom of the Universe" by Penguin Random House, "If you saw you, as God sees you, you would smile a lot."
Agathiyar in consoling us tells us that even the bad and ugly is his work for he wants us to have these experiences too. Eventually, in giving us these experiences he is strengthening the soul, empowering it to face all consequences. Anyway, unknowing to us, the soul would have asked for these experiences. Let us take it all in our stride. There is a learning for us each moment.
When Agathiyar called me to the worship of the Siddhas and their path in my very first Nadi reading in 2002, the thing that came to my mind was how was I to worship them. By his grace, Sivabalan who brought in the Nadi reader from India handed me a painting of Agathiyar. Later the Nadi reader Senthilkumar led me on a Siddha puja that Agathiyar had me carry out a ritual 'Naadikku Dhanam' which was a token of appreciation to them for documenting my past, present, and future.
In my thirst to know more the first place that came to my mind was the local affiliate of Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar of Ongaarakudil, Turaiyur. I reached out to them at the Agathiyar Sanmarga Sangam in Dengkil having seen them collect donations in the streets and public places. I bought whatever material they had in the form of books, audio and video CDs. I bought all the books on Siddhas that the bookshops in town carried. Later I seived through the net and retrieved whatever material I could lay my hands on. But my hunger and thirst to know could not be appeased by all these means. The centers I visited did not carry out rituals but were more focused on sourcing funds for their charitable programs. The books that carried the songs of the Siddhas were incomprehensive as they were said to be wrapped in Paripasai. The translations too did not help. The audio and videos were repetitive just like these books. If the former went round and round as if going after a goose the latter carried the same content in every other book. The net too was of little help as it carried the same stories on myths and legends surrounding the Siddhas.
As Agathiyar asked me to worship them, to my understanding I had to devise some kind of ritual. Staying in tune with what was carried out in the worship of deities in the temples, I began to compile the method and the contents from all these various sources. I now had a long list of names of Siddhas to recite. I modified the Puja rituals to suit the Siddhas based on the books as a reference. Everything fell into place. I carried out the Siddha puja in the comfort and convenience of my home. With the coming of Tavayogi, he had me start carrying out oblation or the Homam. Later Agathiyar coming in the form of a bronze statue had me carry out libation or Abhisegam. My puja was complete.
Coming before us Tavayogi called for us to step out of Bakthi into Gnanam. And so he taught us Yogam which would lead us eventually to Gnanam. Yogam arose the sleeping giant and we saw the energies that seemed as going havoc initially settle into bliss and calm. Today we revel in its majesty. Bodily changes are pretty obvious and so are the internal changes.
With Agathiyar and the other Siddhas coming through devotees, Gnanam was dispensed. We got to know about Maya. Maya was mentioned to me the very first-day Tavayogi entered my home. Sending him off in joy, I thanked him profusely for taking up my invitation. He shut me up for good telling me that I was living in Maya and that he was no saint. He killed the attachment that would have germinated, grown, blossomed, and bloomed in me in the years to come that day. He saved me from becoming attached to the name and form in the name of a physical guru. Visiting his ashram later he killed my attachment to the talisman and other 'do good' accessories.
Agathiyar in sending newcomers to the path to my home to witness our Pornami Puja brought down the very mansion Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) (that he built in 2013) in 2019. He saved me from becoming attached to the name and form in the name of a movement and the numerous activities that brought on a 'high'.
Coming through devotees after the demise of Tavatogi and in the absence of the Nadi readers (who returned to India in the wake of the pandemic), to dispense Gnanam, he killed the mockingbird and saved me from becoming dependent on these means and methods too.
I was left all alone to fend for myself. In these periods of isolation and moments of silence, Agathiyar revealed himself as the very soul or Atma. Agathiyar who appeared in the words of the Nadi in 2002; in a painting and later as a statue, worshiped at my home; in the temples and statues during my pilgrimage to India in 2003; as a physical guru Tavayogi and in the rituals shown and done in 2005; in the jungles and caves and abodes of the Siddhas traveling with Tavayogi, where he opened his eyes in the granite statues at these temples; in the Prana that entered the body as a result of the Yoga exercises learned from Tavayogi in 2007; and the energies that traversed the internals bringing on a subtle transformation without my knowledge in in those years and erupt as pain and suffering in 2011; in the bronze statue where he opened his eyes in 2013; in the eyes of the hungry, poor and unfortunate as we carried out charity and feeding beginning in 2013; as the words of wisdom coming through devotees and conveying these messages beginning in 2021; as the Prapanjam that is him and in him and that we are all a part of; he now reveals himself as the soul or Atma that is in us and we in him. To know the Atma is to know him. To know him is to end the search. To know him is to have attained him. To know him is to be one with him. To know him is to be complete or attain Paripuranam.
Watching the movie "Edge of Tomorrow" makes us not want to know the future. The movie depicts Major William Cage caught in a time loop as he tries to find a way to defeat the invaders. Agathiyar too asked us how many times must he insert the soul into these bodies. He wants us to get it right this time around. But alas we are all still honeymooning.
Going by the events of the past 5 years when the Siddhas decided to actively come into our lives and maneuver each and every move of us, we are not ready to surrender our free will. Lord Muruga had asked each and every one of us gathered to surrender fully so that he could give us something that would bring the desired change, a change that would bring about a total transformation. But we each held on to our dear free will. We still wanted to be in charge. Today after some 5 years we are still holding on to our dear lives and possessions, holding on to relationships and positions. We fail to see that it is all a mirage, a dream, a flowing river. It is all the work of Maya.
We think we can bring a change but it looks like we cannot since we are back at it life after life again. Each time we wake up in a different place but with the same souls trying to get it right again, just as in this movie and a close remake in Tamil, "Maanaadu" where the lead actor and a police officer are trapped in a time loop, and forced to live the day over and over again. It is said that Konganar has seen 18 Kurushetra battles. Scientists are now discovering cement and plastics in use in the past. It is very likely that the world has seen itself being destroyed and restored again and again just as the students hit the restart button each time they fail in the qualifying exams for entering the Indian civil service in the movie "12th Fail". Agathiyar asked us how many times must he insert the soul into these bodies. He too is tired. He has tried waking us up from our sleep and dreams. But we are not budging.
Going by the many stories told of the Siddhas that we have heard and read the Siddhas never died because of illness and left their bodies to rot. It is said that they interned their bodies in Samadhi state. The Nayanmars too never died as a result of illness. They are said to physically merge with the Light or Jothi. The latter-day saints and gurus seem to fall to disease and illness. Why we wonder? If God took the form of some saints to preach the way, with time as we and our ancestors accumulated much Karma, the debts could not be cleared by us given even the numerous births to shed them. Hence God as the saint and guru had to hasten our journey back home by relieving us of the baggage we carried with us. These saints and gurus took on the load. They succumbed to illness and diseases for our sake just as Christ was put on the stake to bring salvation to our souls.
The Siddhas being saviors took on our Karma for only then do we come to know the guru. Only then can the guru show us the path to redemption. The guru draws the veil aside and has us see our soul or Atma, a part of the source, that had all the while been with us, hidden behind the veil.
Just moments ago listening to Ramalinga Adigal's "Arputham Arputhame" suddenly made me realize that whatever he wrote actually has taken place at AVM too.
If Lord Shiva had us drop our hold on all our learnings, perceptions, and views coming through a dream, it is pretty clear where Agathiyar has brought us today. Having us pick up home puja to the Siddhas after a Nadi reading, long after our parents brought us to the temples in Sariyai, he introduced us to Tavayogi who in turn introduced us to rituals and charity as in Kriyai and parted us with his science of Yoga. Agathiyar too gives us rituals and breathing techniques in further Nadi readings to carry out, comes to monitor the rising energies within, and brings us even to let go of the Siddhis that came along just as Tavayogi had us let go of all our previous hold on desires, wishes, and possessions and Lord Shiva having us drop our learnings. Finally, in dispensing Gnana he even had us leave that behind and not carry it with us. Today we stand naked before him with no desires, wishes, or possessions, doing no rituals, charity, or Yogic practice, not carrying the Gnana, and even have dropped our attachment to him just as he had asked of us. We stand aloft as the Atma that is his and him. The many and eventual final two have become one. He has brought us to the teachings of Ramana Maharishi. And who best to tell us of his teachings but Sadhu Om through his songs on the Bhagawan and Arunachala. Sriram Parthasarathy has brought us some gems of Sadhu Om that had brought both Ramana Maharishi and Yogi Ramsuratkumar amongst us listening intently with us.
When I see the readership increase I am humbled. Thank you very much, readers. I guess there is an iota of truth in these pages. Most of the time I too am taken by surprise by these writings. Everything seems to fall into place. The devotees who contributed their experiences recently said the same too. I guess it is his grace that brings me to continue writing.
The guru comes to dispel the darkness in us. The guru comes to dispel the ignorance in us. The guru comes to reveal the Atma within us. Henceforth the guru takes a step back letting the Atma take its rightful place. The Atma that was veiled by divine play or lila is freed to start its journey back to its source. Henceforth one's life takes a turning point. If before this he was taking care of his worldly needs and issues, now he begins a journey knowing he was the Atma that was separated from his home all this while. The Atma rejoices in going back home after having taken in the experiences it desired to live through. It heads home.
The clarity that comes by association with the guru, is to be shared with others. This is the wish of Tavayogi, the guru in the physical form, and Agathiyar who is in the subtle form. Hence the reason this blog is kept alive. Agathiyar breathes fresh air into it each day, keeping it alive for the benefit of seekers. I am only a tool that delivers these messages. Let us together travel this wonderful journey of discovery and arriving where we started back then eons ago.
Agathiyar who spoke in classic Tamil of the Sangam era was forced to come down and deliver the Nadi readings in the common day language so that we could understand him better. Certain beliefs and faiths too have been sidelined from the mainstream followings. For instance, belief in Karma and being the Light and returning to it too has been dropped by certain faiths. It looks like besides all things including language, writings, culture, and tradition, even religion and spiritualism too have gone through many changes.
As we have seen earlier if whatever undergoes a metamorphosis and transformation and change is a work of Maya, that which underlies these changes and stands witness to these changes has to be the absolute. This is what we are to search for or rather discover and settle in eventually having come out of this maze of Maya without being caught or lost in it. This is the true journey that Tavayogi meant, I have come to understand. The discovery of our true nature. The oneness to the source. Being the very source. In realizing that we are one with and in the source, what more is there to do? I guess this is the reason Agathiyar told me that there was nothing else for me to do. I guess this is the reason he set me free and asked me to linger in public and watch all the fun.
சிறு வயது முதலில் எனக்கு இறைவன் மீது அதிதி நாட்டம் இருந்தது. நானும் சாதாரண மனிதர்கள் போல் பூஜை இல்லத்தில் செய்வது, ஆலயங்களுக்குச் செல்வது, பஜன் தேவாரம் பாடல்கள் பாடுவது, ஆன்மீக நூல்கள் படிப்பது, இறப்பு பிறப்பை எப்படி என்று எண்ணிக் கொண்டிருந்தேன்.
எனது 16ஆம் வயதில் என் கனவில் பாபா, பாபாஜியை வணங்குவது போல் கனவு கண்டேன். ஒரு வாரத்தில் தாய் பாபாவின் புகைப்படம் தோழியின் மூலம் வாங்கி வந்தார். பிறகு பாபாஜியின் படத்தை நானே வாங்கி வந்தேன்.
எப்பொழுதும் வியாழன் தோறும் விருதம் எடுத்து வந்தேன். செவ்வாய் தோறும் துர்க்கை தேவிக்கு ராகு கால பூஜை செய்து கொண்டுவந்தேன். எப்பொழுதும் பூஜையின் பொழுது அடியேன் இறைவனிடம் யாசகம் கேட்பது எப்பொழுது எனக்கு முக்திக்கு வழி கிடைக்கும் என்று.
18ஆம் வயதில் பள்ளிப் படிப்பு முடிந்தவுடன் எனக்கு விடை கிடைத்தது.
அப்பொழுதுதான் எனக்கு ஓலைச்சுவடி பார்க்க வாய்ப்பு கிடைத்தது. அப்பொழுதுதான் எனக்குச் சித்தர்கள் பற்றி, முழுமையாக அறியவில்லை என்றாலும், சிறிதளவு தெரிந்து கொண்டேன். இதற்குமுன் புராணத்தில் அவர்களைப் பற்றி கேள்விபட்டுளேன். சுவடி வசிப்பின் பிறகு அவர் என்னைக் காந்தம் போல் ஈர்த்தார். அவரை பற்றி அறிந்து கொள்ள முயன்றேன். அவரைப்பற்றி நூல்கள் ஒரு சிலர் என்னிடம் கொடுத்தார்கள். அனைத்தையும் மறந்து தியானிக்க ஆரம்பித்தேன்.
எவ்வளவு லீலைகள் செய்துள்ளார். அவைபற்றி இங்கு என்னால் உரைக்க இயலாது. வார்த்தைகள் இல்லை. அவரை போல் சிறந்த தாய், தந்தை, நண்பன், குரு எவரும் இல்லை இவ்வுலகில்.
இன்னும் நம்முடன் வாழ்ந்து கொண்டு இருக்கிறார்கள். நாம் நினைப்பு பேசுவதனைத்தையும் அறிவார்கள். இன்னும் நம்முடன் இவ்வுலகில் மறைந்து கொண்டு நமக்கு வழிகாட்டிக் கொண்டு இருக்கிறார்கள். அதை நான் உணருகிறேன். அனுபவமும் கொண்டுள்ளேன்.
அடியேன் கும்பேஸ்வரன் ஆலயத்திற்குச் சென்ற பொழுது அந்த பண்டிதர் "இன்று கதவுகள் திறக்கப் படாது. வியாழன் மட்டும் தான் திறக்கப் படும்" என்றார். அப்பொழுது நானும் என் தாயாரும் மன வருத்தம் கொண்டு அகஸ்தியரிடம் பிரார்த்தனை செய்தோம். அந்த பண்டிதர் விறுவிறுவென வந்து கதவைத் திறந்து பூஜை செய்தார். நாங்கள் திகைத்துப் போனோம்.
அவர் பல நேரம் ஆறுதல், தைரியம், தன்னம்பிக்கை, உற்சாகம் இது எல்லாம் அகஸ்தியரே கொடுத்தார். நான் இன்னும் துவன்றுபோகவில்லை. என் பயணம் சித்தர்களை நோக்கி இனி ஆழமாகப் போகும். அகஸ்தியரிடம் இருந்து என்னைப் பிரிக்க வேண்டும் என்றால் முதலில் என் உடலில் உள்ள பிராணம் போக வேண்டும்.
இனி எனக்கு எந்த ஒரு குருவும் தேவை இல்லை. அனைத்திலும் அகத்தியனைக் காண்கிறேன். உணருகிறேன். உதாரணம் ஒன்று கூறுகிறேன். சுவடி வாசிப்பின் பொழுது ஒவ்வொரு முறையும் அகஸ்தியர் ஷீர்டி சாய் பாபா, பாபாஜியும் என் குரு, மற்றும் அகஸ்தியரும் என் குரு என்பார். அவர் ஒரு பொழுது அவர்களை மறக்கவும், பூஜிக்க வேண்டாம் என்று கூறியதே இல்லை. அவர்களின் ஆசி எனக்கு எப்பொழுதும் உள்ளது என்பார். எந்த ஒரு குருவும் தான் சீடனிடம் மற்ற குருமார்கள் பற்றி பேச மாட்டார்கள். ஆனால் அவர்கள் அனைவருமே ஒரே ப்ரஹ்மம் என்று நமக்கு உணர்த்துகிறார்கள். அவர்களுள் பிரிவினை இல்லை. நாம் சித்தர்களை பின் பற்றினாள் அனைத்து மென்மையும் அறிந்து கொள்ளலாம். இது வெறும் கட்டுக்கதையில்லை. அடியேன் அவர்களிடம் இருந்து அறிந்தது. மெய்யை உணர்ந்தவனுக்கு அனைத்திலும் ப்ரஹ்மத்தை காணலாம். அடியேன் ப்ரஹ்மத்தை அகஸ்தியனிடம் காண்கிறேன்.
For want of some action the one split into two and the two split further taking on various and numerous manifestations, denominations, forms, names, and tags. Maya came to be. But Maya is necessary to give souls the experiences that they desire to have.
In "The Little Soul and the Sun" by Neale Donald Walsch, published by Hampton Roads Publishing Company, 1998, a Little Soul "Knowing who it was was not enough" for him. He wanted to be it. He told God, "I want to feel what it is like to be the Light." He asks God to experience what he already was, the Light.
God tells him, "There is no easy way for you to experience yourself as who you are since there is nothing that you are not. Got it?"
The Little Soul too went, "Huh?" He too was confused now.
Then God said, "Since you cannot see yourself as the Light when you are in the Light, we'll surround you with darkness." He continued, "In order to experience anything at all, the exact opposite of it will appear" and he went on to explain the opposites of things. Giving him a list of ways he could be special and having the Little Soul add to it, the Little Soul chooses the part where he gets to forgive, saying it wants to experience it for itself. God grants the Little Soul's wish. A Friendly Soul then steps in to help the Little Soul realize the experience. When asked why it volunteered the Friendly Soul tells the Little Soul "Don't you remember? Oh, we have danced together, you and me many times. Through the eons and across all the ages have danced. Across all the time and in many places have we played together. You just don't remember. We have both been through all of it. We have been the male and female, the good and the bad, we have both been the victim and the villain of it. Thus we have come together, you and me many times before, each bringing to the other the exact and perfect opportunity to express and to experience who we really are. I will come into your next lifetime and be the bad one this time. I will do something really terrible and then you can experience yourself as the one who forgives." But the Friendly Soul tells the Little Soul that in having to do that unkind thing it would have to slow down its vibration and become very heavy.
And so it has to take or rather manufacture the ideal gross material physical body, the Asudha Degam, from the tatvas, to experience what it came for. At the end of the day, it leaves behind the shed that had served as a dwelling, to return to begin another journey full of other experiences. The cycle goes on and on till it has gone through all the experiences as God and the Little Soul together list out including being kind, gentle, creative, patient, helpful, sharing, friendly, considerate, and forgiving.
A devotee very close to Agathiyar wrote in about her journey.
Journey with Agathiyar Appa.
I came to know about Agathiyar Appa in 2017 through my husband Mahindran after our wedding. I actually never heard or knew anything about HIM. All I knew was that my husband kept talking about Agathiyar and told his stories. He used to go to Shanmugan Anna's house frequently and was involved in Pooja. Then, he will go to the ground and carry out activities such as charities, and distributing food and groceries to needy people. I used to follow him a few times. Later on, I also joined him for Pooja which was held in Anna's house, and started to learn devotional songs and recite the Potri.
Before marriage, I was an Amman devotee and prayed to Amman as all used to do so. In the beginning, there were a lot of questions running in my head and sometimes I couldn't accept the changes surrounding me but whatever happened, it gave positive vibes in my life. A few things happened to me that changed my perspective about Agathiyar Appa and I started to love HIM.
During my 1st pregnancy, I could feel Appa's presence there who came and eased my delivery process smoothly without any complications. During my 2nd pregnancy, I was with severe joint pain and nerve problems. I would talk to Appa and ask for HIS help. He would come immediately to give me remedies and massage me through Mahindran. Then I came to know that Bhogar Siddha came. At that moment I asked myself who I was? Why are they all coming and helping me since I never did anything for them.
I started to follow all of Appa's advice, whose main concern was to take care of our own health by doing breathing exercises and yoga. I can feel changes that HE created within me, where I feel so calm, am patient in making decisions, have reduced my anger, and most importantly start to care about my mental and physical health. Being an Agathiyar devotee, I can feel the confidence that Appa is there for me and he will take care of everything and I just need to put my efforts and move forward. What I can say is HE keeps doing miracles and giving unconditional love and blessings to me and my family.
Recently I complained to Appa, the road which leads to my school had many holes and my car would be damaged if I passed by this road every day. Within 2 days, the road was repaired by the maintenance people. I feel shocked and just can only say "Thank you APPA".
The second incident was that I felt exhausted with my school timetable where I needed to rush to classes without any break. After a while, I received a new timetable with a new schedule which is more flexible and comfortable to me. I feel so happy when APPA keeps doing good things and has been there for me. But I question myself, what I'm going to do for HIM?
When Agathiyar and later Lord Muruga told me that they and I were one, what did they mean? Did they mean to say that I was Agathiyar or Lord Muruga? Should I be worshipped like them then? Was I a manifestation or an Avatar of them? Do I have their powers? Could I perform the Siddhis they did? Can I carry out the 5 works of creation, sustenance, destroying, veiling, and giving grace?
It is none of the above. Just as when I was on cloud 9 and if the 24-year-old youth Sivabalan had not brought me down to the ground telling me that I was not special in the eyes of Agathiyar who had asked me to build a temple for him, as 50 others had been approached before me in their Nadi readings, the ego in me would have lifted me further to cloud 11 and have me believe I was an Avatar or a rebirth of Agathiyar or Lord Murugan. On the contrary what they meant was that both our souls were one, just like every other soul created. The soul that resides in the gross physical body of man and creatures called Jeevan or Jivan is a part of the bigger that is the Param. Hence if the larger was ParamAtma, the rest including us are JivAtma or JeevAtma. I was made to realize that we were one soul that had parted from the source that had been the cause of all that was manifested and took on the creation of each individual, standing by them till their ego took over of their lives.
I am glad that Agathiyar in lecturing me on anger management back then had also tutored me on Maya and its extent of veiling us from seeing the truth recently. Just as the clouding in my eyes went away after I replaced my eye lens, Agathiyar gave me this immense treasure that is the experience of traveling with Maya taking me for a ride and eventually coming to expose its act. I was saved from falling into its clutches.
I think I have found the solution to end this cycle of birth and death. Acceptance. Yes acceptance of all that happens to us and around us. Both Bhagawan Ramana and Yogi Ramsuratkumar accepted their fate when robbers entered the former's ashram and bashed him up and when the public bashed up the latter in the streets in broad daylight solely for the reason he was from the north. While Bhagawan said “If you are not satisfied yet, you may strike the other leg also”1, the Yogi told some later that they had come to do their work and let us do ours. Apparently, Bhagawan is said to have said the same too.
When both these saints were not spared by the dreaded cancer cells they took it in their stride. Bhagawan Ramana told his devotees "Why are you so attached to this body? Let it go", and "Where can I go? I am here."2
The Yogi is said to have never complained though he was in extreme pain. "Even in his sufferings, Yogi never complained. He bore all the sufferings of the ailments."3
When Pattinathar was accused of stealing the temple jewelry and tied up to a staff and a fire lit below him, he kept his cool neither fighting his case nor pleading for mercy. The robbers who had stolen it threw the evidence into a dark chamber of a shrine they passed by while running away from the palace guards and the jewelry landed around Pattinathar's neck who was taking refuge in the temple.
When we are taught to let go of our desires, attachments, and material possessions, these saints teach us to even let go of this body willingly.
When Tavayogi was hit by a bus as he rode a bike from his ashram into town he was treated for injuries for close to a month. He told me that it was his Karma. He accepted it without finding faults with the stars or others.
If we accept we will not retaliate nor will we dwell into the cause and seek solutions. Acceptance ends all our interactions. Hence it ends the making of new Karma. Whatever Karma we brought with us is exhausted by others pounding us.
The song "Kurai Ondrum Illai Marai Murthy Kanna" beautifully tells us how to picture life and this world.
When I went for my very first Nadi reading in 2002, Agathiyar in calling me to the worship of the Siddhas, surprised me by asking me to build a temple. I was on cloud 9 then thinking I was the privileged one and selected for this humongous task. But Sivabalan who had brought in the Nadi reader from India following in the tradition of his father and uncle, burst the Merry Bubble telling me that I was the 5oth person Agathiyar had asked. Since no one had done it he asked me to look into it. I immediately got to the ground asking existing temple committees for a space in their temple grounds to house Agathiyar's shrine as building a new one on a new plot of land would be mighty costly. But none of them offered a space. I dropped the idea.
When Supramania Swami wanted to fulfill his 40-year dream of seeing a temple for Lord Murugan materialize, I worked with him. We had bought a piece of land in Tiruvannamalai and built a cottage or kudil for Swami when a stranger came along and asked him why he was taking a step back into Bakthi. Swami dropped the idea.
When Tavayogi wanted to build a bigger temple for Agathiyar I asked him why he was taking a step back into Bakthi when he had always pushed us to come out of it into Gnanam. He told me that it was for the people.
Today after having me start my solo puja to the Siddhas after the first Nadi reading in 2002 and bringing my family to join me after Tavayogi asked me to bring them too into the fold in 2005 and bringing many youths to join us after their individual Nadi readings in 2013, having us go through the phases of Sariyai, Kriyai, Yogam and Gnanam I am made to realize that no one bothered to go beyond Sariyai except for a handful really close to Agathiyar and willing to listen. Everyone comes to the Siddha worship thinking it is a substitute for temple worship. They never want to take up Kriyai and rituals in their homes, never want to take up Yoga, and are not willing to listen and heed or do not understand the numerous discourses the Siddhas held or did not believe the Siddhas could come through their devotees.
Now I pretty much understand the truth in Tavayogi telling me that it was for the people. They seem satisfied by going to a temple, lighting an oil lamp, putting forth their prayers, and asking God to clear their problems, misery, and suffering. People are not ready to make the move or step into the next phase or take the plunge. Maybe I should reconsider Agathiyar's wish to build a temple although I had made my stand clear that I was not going to do it. How else can we save these souls?
A story is told at https://isha.sadhguru.org/en/wisdom/article/agastya-muni-story of how the Sapta Rishis after having learned from their master, they were asked for Guru Dakshina. Agathiyar offered all that he had learned to his master. The rest of the Rishis followed. They stood empty. They were sent out to share what they had learned with others.
Supramania Swami too left his years of merits gained from his Sadhanas and Tavam to me telling me that even these had to be left behind. He left empty-handed.
The day Tavayogi took up my invitation and visited my humble home, he killed my attachment towards him even before it could blossom. I was so high on cloud 9 that a turavi or holy man had stepped into my home for the very first time in my life. I expressed this joy to him. He replied, "You are living in Maya. I am not a holy man. Look within you for your holiness. I call it Agathiyar." I shut my mouth for the rest of the journey back to his residence in Batu Caves.
When he invited me to his ashram and Agathiyar in the Nadi too asked me to spend a couple of days with him, he had me drop any desire to wear a Rudraksha bead, if I ever had embedded in my as vasanas. Taking notice, he had me drop the Navaratna or 9 gem studded ring I wore on my finger and the Rasamani or Mercury bead I wore on me when I told him about it too.
Agathiyar in asking me to commission his statue and had many come over to join us in puja, soon had me send him over to the homes of his devotees. He broke my attachment to the object of worship. Now he wants me to even drop my attachment to him telling me not to hold on to manifestations or Maya.
He broke apart the very group he brought together into his worship and to carry out charity too as we were getting high in the words of my wife. Sadly there are many caught in this addiction and are not able to move on.
Moving us to the next phase from Sariyai and Kriyai into Yoga, he had us drop the Pranayama and Asanas and just sit and observe the breath.
Recently Agathiyar told me that it was fine that I could not recall the humongous Gnanam or Divine knowledge he transmitted. Even these should not be carried with us he implied.
When my mother-in-law fell ill, Agathiyar told my wife to let her go when her time came up later. When my mother was on her deathbed Agathiyar told my family members to let her go, as she had another birth waiting.
Agathiyar tells us parents to let go of holding on to our children too asking us to give them space to explore life.
They are all teaching us to leave all things behind, be it those that are inherited, earned, gifted, showered on us, and cherished and loved. It calls for a parting of something precious to us. This is truly a test of our surrender to the guru.
After living our entire lives chasing our dreams, beginning with the paper chase, chasing after our ambitions, and careers, chasing after the lady of our dreams, and chasing behind our kids, when one begins to learn and see these fleeting moments in life as a dream, he steps into the spiritual realm leaving his material world. He comes with the belief that the former was fake and this would be real. Here he comes before even bigger and monstrous desires, vasanas, karma, and sexual desires, which are released. He comes to connect with other realms and their beings, thinking these too are real. Eventually, he is made to realize that they too are mere manifestations of the one energy that is inherent in all of creation. It is Maya in its many forms and with many names. He realizes that "It's constantly changing; there's nothing permanent about it. So it's a reality but it's constantly changing." 1
He begins to realize that he is this energy too.
"The soul, at this stage, through introspective reflection, arrives at a point where a ray of light falls on the soul in the form of an inspiration. Then the soul discovers the vanity or metamorphosis of the physical world, (the Asat) and is led into meditation. By the Grace of God, the soul becomes blind to the world and attains knowledge of God by His Grace. This is the spiritual truth called Pati Jnanam. The soul which has realized God through divine knowledge Pati Jnanam, after it had renounced the worlds as changing or Asat, is called Jivan Mukta." 2
He has attained Mukti while still in flesh and form.
"The Jivan Mukta should now become one with Siva, just as Siva was one with him in his fettered state. When Jivan Mukta is one with Siva, what he does, would not be his acts, but would be the acts of Siva. For the Ichcha, Jnana, and Kriya states of Jivan Mukta are identical with those of Siva. Whatever Jivan Mukta does is done according to the will of Siva, for Jivan Mukta is in Advaita relation with God, Siva. Jivan Mukta is one living in a body ever after his purification, till he exhausts his residual Karma."2
G.Vanmikanathan tracing Ramalinga Adigal's life in his book, arrives at the juncture where Ramalinga attains the state of Jeevan Mukti.
"Here ends our Swaamikal’s journey on the Pathway to God. He has arrived. He has become a Jeevan Muktha, a seeker who has gained what be sought, who has reached the end of his quest. Swaamikal had indeed arrived at his goal, at his journey’s end, and he has nothing more to do on earth than to spend the remaining years prescribed for him by praarabdha-karma in adoring contemplation of the Godhead and in loving service to all creatures. The point of utmost importance in Advaita is that every seeker after deliverance may hopefully aim at the goal of jeevanmukthi …" 3
"The term ‘jeevanmukthi’ is used to describe this state of continued life in the body on the part of a knower of Brahman. A jeevanmuktha does not act on his own volition. God acts through him, speaks through him.The jeevanmuktha has imprisoned God in his heart, in every fiber of his body." 3
Though having attained Mukti which comes with the state of a Jeevan Mukta, Ramalinga Adigal yearned for everlasting evanescent bliss and eternal union. He yearned for Videha Mukti.
"Liable as it is to disease and decay, to pain and putrefaction, the Jeevan-muktha now longs for release from the body, longs for death. The body which was an asset for so long has become a liability as soon as the Jeevan-muktha state has been attained, as soon as the mystic union with God has been achieved. The mystic lives with dread for his companion, the dread of losing the bliss, the ecstatic union with God. So the Jeevan-muktha now longs for death, for release from the human body, for eternal bliss and union everlasting. He has obtained, it is true, supreme bliss, but still not evanescent bliss; he has obtained union with God, but still not eternal union. On having these beatific visions, wisdom and peace descend on the mutinously impatient Jeevan-muktha, impatient for death, impatient to shed the human body, impatient to gain videha mukthi - disembodied release from the cycle of death and birth." 3
1. Satguru Bodhinatha Veylanswami at https://www.himalayanacademy.com/
2. "Metaphysics of Saiva Siddhantam - Sivagnana Boodham by Thiruvilankar Canagarayar, l96l
3. "Pathway to God Trod by Saint Ramalingar, Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan, Bombay by G.Vanmikanathan
When Agathiyar tells us that everything is Maya including their manifestations in numerous ways, it is not that it is all not real. It is all real. We feel and experience sorrow, misery, pain, suffering, hunger, joy, happiness, bliss, etc. It is just that it is all a fleeting moment.
Satguru Bodhinatha Veylanswami has given a clear understanding of the term Maya at https://www.himalayanacademy.com/
"In common philosophical use, when you hear the word maya you think of illusion. That's because of dominant philosophy in the Hindu world is Shankara's maya-vadin philosophy in which Maya means it's unreal; doesn't really exist."
"Maya in Saiva Siddhanta exists, it's just constantly changing. That's why Gurudeva writes "...the ever perpetuating dance." It's constantly changing; there's nothing permanent about it. So it's a reality but it's constantly changing."
Now I understand why Agathiyar brushed off lightly the extreme pain I underwent in my back between 2010 and 2012, the pain peaking and becoming excruciating and unbearable in 2011. It was a manifestation too. Though all his visits and those of other Siddhas are Maya too as he says, it is not that it is not real but it is all a manifestation that keeps changing.
Even when I faltered in the past, he stood by me telling me that it was his work and that he wanted me to have those horrid experiences that shames me even to think about them now. He pointed out the wrong and harm I had done in the past births, that it was all his doings and that it was excused. I had to learn and gain experiences essential to my spiritual growth. He pardoned me and asked me to pardon myself too. But as the effects of these wrongful past actions had been generated and were released, I still had to carry out remedies that he stipulated deemed fit to subdue the results and damage to my life. I took heed and did my parikaram to his satisfaction.
In the "Metaphysics of Saiva Siddhantam - Sivagnana Boodham by Thiruvilankar Canagarayar, l96l, we read that,
"In order to purify the soul, the Primal One by His infinite Grace, applied Maya and Karma Malams, to the fettered soul, just as a washerman applies Fuller’s earth and cow-dung to remove the dirt in a piece of cloth. The husk, bran and sprout or germination of a paddy seed are comparable to Anavam, Maya, and Karma that encompass the soul. When the husk (Anavam) and bran (Maya) are removed the paddy seed will not germinate, and the sprout (Karma) will not spring up. Similarly, when the Anavam retreats and Maya retires, then the energy that is Karma also retires with Maya. When the Anavam retreats from battle field its opponents Maya and Karma retire. When Maya and Karma Malams counteract on Anavam, the ignorance of the soul, being the effect of the function of Anavam, is removed from the fettered soul and its intelligence illumines. The soul, at this stage, through introspective reflection, arrives at a point where a ray of light falls on the soul in the form of an inspiration. Then the soul discovers the vanity or metamorphosis of the physical world, (the Asat) and is led into meditation. By the Grace of God, the soul becomes blind to the world and attains knowledge of God by His Grace. This is the spiritual truth called Pati Jnanam. The soul which has realized God through divine knowledge Pati Jnanam, after it had renounced the worlds as changing or Asat, is called Jivan Mukta. Jivan Mukta is one who has already attained the Sacred Feet of Lord Siva. When the Jivan Mukta attains divine wisdom, the Pati Jnanam, he shines as a spirit with intense love for God. Then the redeemed soul becomes a Jivan Mukta, as he has reached the Sacred Feet of God. Now the Jivan Mukta is free from the three-fold Malams and is at the Feet of God. Lord Siva appears in him as Joti or light at Suzhi Munai (Susumna Nadi), through unfailing love unto Him. The Jivan Mukta, through unforgetting or unceasing love attains the bliss of the Primal One."
"The Jivan Mukta should now become one with Siva, just as Siva was one with him in his fettered state. When Jivan Mukta is one with Siva, what he does, would not be his acts, but would be the acts of Siva. For the Ichcha, Jnana and Kriya states of Jivan Mukta are identical with those of Siva. Whatever Jivan Mukta does is done according to the will of Siva, for Jivan Mukta is in advaita relation with God, Siva. Jivan Mukta is one living in a body ever after his purification, till he exhausts his residual Karma."
This is exactly what Agathiyar told me was possible if I dropped my attachment to even him too. The soul (JivaAtma) is in Advaita relation with (ParamAtma) God, Siva.
"The Gurbani - Sri Guru Granth Sahib" quoted in http://www.gurbani.org/articles/webart147.php, speaks these too.
"One who dances (or remains) night and day in Divine Consciousness, he eradicate the spell of Maya (Sakti), from within; once linked to the Supreme Being within, Siva, one will not fall asleep to Maya's delusion again." (The Gurbani - Sri Guru Granth Sahib, SGGS 506)."
"He who dwells in the the core of his very Being, and there begs for alms (of realizing God). Such a renunciate ascends to the Realm of Pure Consciousness, Siva Puri, within."(The Gurbani - Sri Guru Granth Sahib, SGGS 952)
"Upon awakening to the Divine Light within (Siva Joti), Maya banishes, and doubts are eradicated." (The Gurbani - Sri Guru Granth Sahib, SGGS 1238).
"When the Maya-stricken consciousness of man comes to rest in Realm of Pure Divine Consciousness within, he becomes Jeevanmukta: remains dead while yet alive." (The Gurbani - Sri Guru Granth Sahib, SGGS 1257).
"Having eradicated Maya from within, by the Divine Grace, the mortal becomes established once again in the Divine Consciousness within." (The Gurbani - Sri Guru Granth Sahib, SGGS 1276).
"Those who become the Gurmukhs are blessed with the Divine Light of the Lord (Siva Joti); Maya comes to serve them." (The Gurbani - Sri Guru Granth Sahib, SGGS 1324).
