THE 60TH WEDDING

Whenever Agathiyar wanted me to hold a puja on a larger scale than usual, usually the annual events, he would have me rehearse the puja even before the arrival of the devotees. So too I would read through and find out more on the subject and pass out booklets to inform those gathered about the auspiciousness of what we were doing. Knowing what we do goes a long way in helping us remember the day and the event. Thus the following books came to be written. 

When I began my search to know Siddha puja, there was a vacuum regarding this subject. Except for the long list of names of Siddhas, there was little to go by. So I gathered all the songs of praise to the Siddhas from the numerous books in my collection into a repository of songs of the Siddhas for my own use initially and that was later shared with others too.

• Siddhar Potri Thoguppu at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_R6X34DNy3oYhKlN3_M5wsQfda6099uy/view?usp=sharing

When I came to know about common men who attained the state called Gurus who could guide others to reach God after reading Paramahansa Yogananda's "Autobiography of a Yogi", and had the privilege of being a student to two wonderful gurus in physical form, I began to pick up and learn more about others who had achieved these states too. 

• First Encounters with the Masters at  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zrx_4OZnF7ss8754vh6W6r5afD6P_Sew/view?usp=sharing

When Tavayogi asked that I carry out the fire ritual Homam in my home, he ignited the fire in me where I dug up and studied about this ritual and came out with this small guide for myself and others keen to know and follow.

• Feeding the Flame at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1bduv5PhFtuqncAherXq8WMPJ80yXFd7n/view?usp=sharing

When Tavayogi showed us Yoga I began to research it further. Hence this book came to be.

• Teachings of the Siddhas - Part 4 The Breath at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1soBrFIG7We3dsP0Zp4857iRPc6zLTLnM/view?usp=sharing

In the years after we met, when I began to learn under the tutelage of gurus in physical form, Supramania Swami and Tayayogi, the following book came to be written.

• Teachings of the Siddhas - Part 5 The Guru Disciple Relationship at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BNLP9fdJ2OFQzVgSBsvp0x3RAMYeyDFJ/view?usp=sharing

When Agathiyar came as the bronze statue and asked that I carry out libation or abhisegam to him, asking Mataji if there were appropriate songs to accompany this ritual, she passed me a wonderful song. I modified them to suit the Siddha puja and the occasion. 

• The New Book of Praise to the Siddhas at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1O4rnaRcMKPbPfLdMxjssuoMQan-gD6fj/view?usp=sharing

When Agathiyar asked that I include the worship of Vaalai too, it gave rise to the following booklet.

• Vaalaikumari Paadalgal at https://drive.google.com/file/d/14LKCjAYM4-umA3I9_N8WxhxwdBx6tGt2/view?usp=sharing

Realizing in these modern and hectic times where we need to divide our time between doing so many things, often robbing us of the opportunity to sit with God for much longer, I came up with a small booklet of songs that I timed would only take 24 minutes to carry out reciting and singing. Hence came about this small book. 

• 24 Minutes Siddha Puja at https://drive.google.com/file/d/16g_jox_ffqwrtudFGAOly6IVHB57ubij/view?usp=sharing

And there are many more that I shared, according to the need and occasion. 

When Acharya Gurudasan or better known to us as Master Gowri Varadhan taught us Kriya Yoga to supplement and fine-tune Tavayogi's Yogic teachings, Mahindren took the trouble to compile the steps for easy perusal of all who would come to practice them.

• Kriya Hatha Yoga Asanas by Master Gowri at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HVqc1fEDAheq0QCL6muAYwUA0GnJnPaq/view?usp=sharing

I took it as my responsibility to share the writings of my gurus too with devotees and readers. This is the least I could do for all the blessings I and my family received from them.

• Gnana Suthiram by Supramania Swami at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CVfxHLPiZmBCiV66B0Z2FLnvrIMQu9qc/view?usp=sharing

• Andamum Pindamum by Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NrJdcEWMkCv3DaOw5R-3ce1hZwJc3ldl/view?usp=sharing

• Atma Gnanam by Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal at https://drive.google.com/file/d/13JWP3p6hK-LeW9fjiYfC_h_qXGJn957O/view?usp=sharing

• Atma Vilakam by Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XEhSo2y7D2_Zdzfad8ZiXaZCIj_c3l3V/view?usp=sharing

• Atma Thathuvam by Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SsJKeHmRAtHoO8VxS1CYWCKZrMmXTp60/view?usp=sharing

• Atma Darisanam by Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xuzUHuuLuWJJcfZ5r2gaB_oiAZ7mqF0w/view?usp=sharing

When I moved into my home in 1994 with my family, we did not engage a priest to carry out the housewarming rituals but did a small puja on our own. All the years of carrying out puja on my own as a bachelor between 1980 and 1988 gave me the courage to go ahead. It was a normal home puja. After coming to the Siddhas in 2002, after the calling came through the Nadi, I included songs of praise for the Siddhas too. When Tavayogi asked that I speak about the Siddhas to those gathered at the opening of an affiliate Peedham of his in Banting, it showed that he had faith in me. When Tavayogi asked that I carry out a Homam I told him that it was the purview of the temple priests and was reluctant. But he had faith in me. Telling me it was pretty simple he strengthened my faith in myself. He later visited Malaysia and in carrying it out, fine-tuned it showing us the way. Then Agathiyar asked that I commission his bronze statue in Swamimalai and have him brought over and perform libation or Abhisegam to him. I learned to carry out this ritual too. Agathiyar sent many youths to my home to watch and learn these rituals soon after their Nadi readings. Soon Agathiyar had us bring his statue into the homes and temples where we carried out Siddha puja. Though he had me stop all rituals and charity and step into the next phase of going within, these rituals survive and is alive to this day in some homes in some places. 

So when Agathiyar asked that my wife and I carry out our 60th wedding I looked through the net and books that I had with me and thus the previous post Siddha Heartbeat: WEDDINGS (agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com) came to be written. 

From https://www.chennaiconventioncentre.com/sashtiapthapoorthi-guide/ we learn that,

"The Vedic view sees human life as ideally spanning 120 years. At 60, you reach the halfway mark, a time for reflection and appreciation for the life granted by the divine. It is a reminder that the second inning of your life is an opportunity to seek deeper truths and connect with the divine." 

Abhishek Soni writes in his blog at https://abhisheksoni.in/the-sacred-union-exploring-the-philosophy-of-marriage-in-siddha-yoga that,

"In Siddha Yoga, the philosophy of marriage goes beyond the conventional notions of companionship and partnership. It embraces a deeper understanding of the union between two individuals as a means to spiritual growth and self-realization."

"Siddha Yoga acknowledges that the coming together of two individuals in a marital union can be a catalyst for their spiritual evolution. The teachings of Siddha Yoga emphasize the importance of harmonizing the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of life to attain inner peace and union with the divine."

"In Siddha Yoga, marriage is seen as an opportunity for spiritual growth and self-discovery. It is believed that the union of two souls in marriage creates a powerful energy field that can accelerate their spiritual progress."

"One of the key principles of Siddha Yoga is the recognition of the divine presence within oneself and in all beings. This principle is extended to the marriage relationship, where the couple is encouraged to see the divine in each other. By recognizing the divine in their partner, they cultivate a deep sense of reverence, respect, and love for one another."

"The philosophy of marriage in Siddha Yoga emphasizes the importance of mutual support and growth. It encourages couples to support each other in their spiritual journey and to create an environment that fosters personal and shared spiritual growth."

"Siddha Yoga also teaches that marriage is a vehicle for the expression of love and compassion. The teachings emphasize the importance of cultivating a loving and compassionate heart towards one’s partner and all beings. By practicing love and compassion within the marital relationship, couples contribute to the creation of a more peaceful and loving world."

"The philosophy of marriage in Siddha Yoga recognizes marriage as a sacred union that goes beyond the conventional notions of companionship and partnership. It emphasizes the importance of spiritual growth, mutual support, love, and compassion within the marital relationship. Through practices such as meditation, self-inquiry, and chanting, couples can deepen their understanding of themselves, each other, and the divine, leading to a more harmonious and fulfilling marriage."

So this wedding is a day of thanksgiving for the past 60 years of this life, sustaining in this body thanks to the divine soul in us. Rather than go about reenacting a typical wedding I believe that it is a day of our individual souls, rejoicing in matrimony, first with its other half, me and my wife, the Yin and Yang, the Shiva and Shakti, accordingly, and later our souls, the JeevAtman rejoicing in matrimony with its other half, the ParamAtma. It shall be a soulful day I believe as Agathiyar says it would be a unique experience.

WEDDINGS

Agathiyar recently asked me and my wife to hold our wedding ceremony "again". The 60th wedding does not mean that the couple has lived together as husband and wife for 60 years. It is carried out when the man attains the age of 60. So when I told him that I had passed that age and was in my 65th year, he jokingly asked shall we then celebrate the 70th? Later he told me to carry it out this year itself. Returning from my niece's wedding and looking forward to the betrothal of me to my wife again on Guru Purnima as directed, made me research about marriage for my knowledge and that of readers too.

Anuradha Gajaraj-Lopez in a timely manner passed me the PDF version of her book "Tirumanam - Agasthiyar Vazhipaadu". She writes in the introduction to the book,

"Marriage is considered a holy union whose primary purpose is to enable a couple to come together to walk on the path of righteousness together. In doing so, they fulfill many important roles in society. A couple living in harmony bring peace and love to their extended family and community. Their home becomes a welcoming place for near and dear ones. They contribute to the welfare of the larger community by their righteous attitude and actions. And most importantly they fulfil the most important responsibility given to them by God. They allow the souls waiting to reincarnate, so that they may fulfill their purpose in life as well. At the time of conception, souls waiting to reincarnate are attracted to the vibrations of the couple through whom their karmic destiny can be fulfilled to a larger extent. A couple then have a God given responsibility to create good vibrations to attract similar souls that can help balance the vibrations on earth. We need more 'good' souls to set right the balance, now."

Agathiyar in coming to us said the same too, asking us to be good role models. He asked that we could reprimand the kids but not beat or hurt them. He asked that we do not lay laws that hurt them telling us that he and they are one. He tells us that these children have cleansed their very first Karma or Adhi Karma answering my query if Karma was the triggering factor for taking births what was the very first Karma we did that initiated taking a birth. It is very likely that these children are here for the very last time to realize God and leave never to return. Indeed watching these children absorb and grow, I tend to see a reversal in the roles where it is us who need to learn from them. I am learning from my grandchildren these days. 

We know of a couple who Agathiyar reveals have been husband and wife in seven consecutive births. Agathiyar tells us that my wife, daughter, and I were together in a past birth in Papanasam. When my daughter fell in love, we carried out her marriage without seeking to match their horoscopes, nor wanting to know if they were compatible. The priests at the neighborhood temple whom I consulted to know the good times to carry out the numerous rituals and events told me three things when I told him that I was not there to compare their horoscopes but to know these times. Firstly, he said what was important in a marriage was that both their hearts should match as in "Mana Porutham" that favors each other. Secondly, it is past Karma that unites these souls in matrimony. Finally, he said to leave it to God and not worry about the outcome.  Seeing his stature and likeness to that of Agathiyar, his words rang as those of Agathiyar in my ears.

Agathiyar went to the extent of educating a couple on the intimacies of making love with the intent of having a progeny. Tirumular too has spoken about this in his Tirumantiram. Though I intended to leave the room then, he had me sit with them and listen in. Now I understand why he did that for the techniques helped me and my wife bring down the barrier between us too, bringing us even closer. 

The seven steps the couple takes walking around the lit fire in Hindu marriages is considered taking vows with the fire element or Agathiyar as a witness.

Anuradha Gajaraj-Lopez explains the significance of these rituals. Briefly, it goes as follows.

1. The first circumambulation around the fire is to vow "to take care of their welfare and bring happiness to the family."
2. The second is "a prayer to God to give them the strength to fulfill their dharma as householders." 
3. The third is "a promise to take care of the material aspects of family life."
4. In the fourth step around the holy fire, "the couple promises to be faithful to each other."
5. The fifth is "a prayer to beget noble children."
6. In the sixth, "the groom asks if she will remain with him forever?" and finally,
7. Taking the 7th step, the couple "accept each other as husband and wife and promise to remain eternal companions." 

I thank Anuradha Gajaraj-Lopez for passing me the PDF version of the book in a timely manner so that we could read and aspire to fulfill the needs of a householder according to the Siddhas. 

My brother A Kathiresen who had released numerous booklets under his "Wisdom Library" series, released yet another, this time on "The Hindu Marriage" to coincide with his son's wedding sometime back. He writes,

"Marriage is not about two individuals coming together but about two families and their relatives coming together. While the primary purpose of marriage is procreation and continuance of the family lineage, in Hindu culture it is also to uphold the social order and to remind one of the final goal of spiritual union with God or Self-realization. The Hindu couple is expected to enjoy physical and emotional intimacy but with the underlying understanding that the joy arising from their union is but a reflection of the permanent bliss of union with Siva, sometimes also described as the unitive consciousness of God." 

He quotes Swami Chidananda: 

"Marriage is a sacred spiritual partnership between two souls who have come upon this earth to evolve an ideal life of nobility, virtue, and dharma and attain their goal of divine perfection through such an ideal life."

A Kathiresen writes further,

"Central to the sacredness of the wedding ceremony are the chants and prayers that are recited. These implore God, the deities, the sages, and nature to shower the couple with health, wealth, and happiness. Importantly, these serve to invoke the presence of God and nature to witness the union of the mortal couple with Agni, the fire God, as the main witness and recipient of the offerings made."

Indeed if we are blind to the presence of these energies, Tavayogi who came for my daughter's wedding told me the Siddhas had come down to bless the couple. Their presence was shown to Mataji later when we gathered at AVM to carry out a homam or lighting the sacrificial fire and singing the praises of the Siddhas. Agathiyar in the Jeeva Nadi reading read by Tavayogi for a devotee explained the intense earth-shattering vibration that only Mataji felt during the Siddha puja was indeed due to the heavy presence of the Siddhas. Agathiyar told us in the Nadi reading for the AVM family moments after this puja that Lord Ganapathy or Gajamugan as he addressed him, coming through Tavayogi had conducted the puja that day.

A Kathiresen continues, "In Hinduism, even the gods marry. In fact, many temples hold annual events to celebrate the union of the god and the goddess, with priests conducting the marriage." When Agathiyar left AVM in June of last year for the home of another devotee, he had the host purchase a bronze statue of Lobama to accompany his statue that we had worshiped at AVM. He had us carry out the wedding ceremony for them known as "Tiru Kalyanam". When someone brought up the matter of having more than one spouse, Agathiyar jokingly told him to ask Lord Murugan. 

When Agathiyar stood before Lord Siva having accomplished his austerities, Tapas and Tavam, Siva told him that there was one more task remaining that Agathiyar had to do. Agathiyar was asked to marry. Only then shall he be complete, said Siva. Agathiyar subsequently married Lobama. 

The Ashramas and Purusharthas have deeply carved a place in Hinduism. Man walks through the four stages of Brahmachariam, Grihasthiam, Vanaprasthiam, and Sannyasam which coincides with the four aims in life that are: carrying out righteous acts or Aram and upholding Dharma or noble virtues; then gathering Porul or Artha for his sustenance; engaging in Kamam when married and gaining Inbam as in raising a family and finally seeking Veedu or Moksha leading to a contented and meaningful life. 

Love for another soon leads to love for the creator or God. The saints reached this state of union with God. G Valmikanathan in his book "Makers of Indian Literature - Ramalingam", published by Sahitya Akademi (e-book at http://www.vallalar.org) writes of this last phase as that of sheer delight, and of mounting bliss. 

"The pilgrim, in this part of his journey, begins to walk fast, then breaks into a loping trot, finally, gallops on with increasing tempo towards the beckoning smile and the outstretched arms, and is soon locked in an eternal embrace with the beloved, the eternal being, the Godhead, the ground of all being."

Henry Wei in his book "The Guiding Light of Lao Tzu, Synergy Books International, writes, 

The mystic union is said to be entirely personal and could not be communicated from one person to another. In other words the mystic union is something extremely mysterious. It may be called the mystery of mysteries. It is perhaps the most mysterious feature of mystic meditation.... Mystic union represents the unique experience stemming from "the flight of the alone to the Alone" as the famous mystic Plotinus has so well expressed. Unfortunately it cannot be easily attained much less isolated and measured and experimented upon in the laboratory. Its actuality is entirely based on the experience and confession of the mystic themselves who were completely convinced of its authenticity. By all reports the mystic or divine union is an exceedingly exhilarating experience, superior in joy and sweetness to all other human experiences. Those who have experienced mystic union feel that they are blessed with the esctatic consciousness of ultimate reality and consequently consider all else as secondary and unnecessary even vain and empty. 

Henry Wei quotes Rabindranath Tagore on this mystic union, "The Paramatman, the supreme soul, has himself chosen this soul of ours as his bride and the marriage has been completed." 

Ramalinga Adigal composes a beautiful song about how his Lord had told him to prepare for this bridal marriage or mystic union an hour before the event takes place.

1. மணம்புரி கடிகை இரண்டரை எனும் ஓர்

வரையுள தாதலால் மகனே

எணம்புரிந் துழலேல் சவுளம்ஆ தியசெய்

தெழில்உறு மங்கலம் புனைந்தே

குணம்புரிந் தெமது மகன் எனும் குறிப்பைக்

கோலத்தால் காட்டுக எனவே

வணம்புரி மணிமா மன்றில் என் தந்தை

வாய் மலர்ந் தருளினர் மகிழ்ந்தே.

Read more at http://www.thiruarutpa.org/thirumurai/v/T338/tm/peerataivu

G Vanmikanathan in his "Pathway to God Trod By Saint Ramalingar" writes, "In  intimate terms  of bridal  mysticism  our  Swaamikal  pleads  for union." Elsewhere he sings “This is the moment, this is the right moment for uniting with me”

Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, in answer to Naren’s impertinent question, is said to have replied that he has not only seen God but can show Him to Naren too. Centuries earlier Maanikkavaachakar said the same to all of us Narens, and Raamalinga Swaamikal, a contemporary of Raamakrishna Paramahamsa, says the same to all of us in the revelations of the most secret of all secret experiences. We have only to fulfill three conditions to gain the same experience. We have to be, in the words of Aldous Huxley, “loving, pure in heart, and poor in spirit”. It seems to be delusively simple to fulfil these three conditions, but when we begin to meditate on the depth of their meaning we are seized with despair and we begin to feel that not only this present life of ours but many more lives to come will not be enough for us to succeed in gaining these three qualities in their fulness. But we need not despair, for God, in His mercy, offers us several chances to fulfill these requirements to apprehend Him.

P V Jagadisa Ayyar in his book "South Indian Customs" writes,

"It is laid down in the Hindu Dharma Sastras that the ceremonials observed by a husband without the cooperation of his wife would be null and void." I am blessed that my wife and children were with me at all moments and we as a family could carry out the Siddha puja to God's contentment.

In the book "Nayana, A Biography of Kavyakantha Vasistha Ganapati Muni" (from the original Telugu texts by Gunturu Lakshmikantam), Dr G Krishna says Ganapati Muni had described his wife as a Tapa Sakhi, meaning comrade in Tapas just as Arundhati was the Tapa Sakhi of Vasistha and so were the wives of many of the rishis. Ganapati Muni advised that women should not be barred from any spiritual or religious chores when it was prevalent at that time that women were not considered fit to worship Agni, study the Vedas, and recite Vedic Mantra and were denied the benefits of Upanayana. Ganapati Muni himself used to initiate women into Mantra Japa. Many were the women who were initiated into Gayathri Vidhya, which was considered exclusive to men. Visalakshi, wife of Ganapati Muni took to the worship of Agni whenever Ganapati Muni was out of station. 

“Visalakshi paid equal attention to house-keeping and Mantra upasana. Ganapati did not share the belief that a woman was the source of sin and Maya. The study of scriptures had convinced him that the ancient rishis had practiced austerity and attained self-realization without giving up family life and responsibilities. Women were not treated as objects of pleasure by our ancient rishis. They were as qualified as men to discharge spiritual responsibilities. The ancient rishis by their exemplary behavior became spiritual preceptors to their wives and helped to establish a well ordered society. They never considered their wives as hindrances to Tapas.”

P V Jagadisa Ayyar nails the peg in.

"A man by himself is considered to be an imperfect being lacking that which is found in the other sex. Experts in Yoga opine that for the vivifying of certain centers in the human body forces from both sexes, male and female should be utilized."

My joy was short-lived when sadly the horrors of caste and segregation, custom, and tradition in the movie "Namma Gramam" had me sit back and watch in a state of shock and disbelief. I have yet to watch it till the end, as it was rather a difficult movie to watch. 

THE WAKE UP CALLS

Speaking to a devotee moments ago on the phone on the path and the methods, Agathiyar made me realize that what exists is solely the divine. Whatever happens is truly divine in nature. We are living in the illusion that we are existing and moving things. Agathiyar told us that Gnanam is not gifted but has to be earned by working towards it. It is all about transforming into him and becoming him. What remains after that is not this individual called Shanmugam Avadaiyappa but only Agathiyan. 

Maya tricks us into believing that we are real and the world is real. Maya tricks us into thinking that we are moving and driving things. We are only the appliances that are powered by him. Once an appliance is broken it can be repaired at times or has to be replaced with something new, often the latest or newer version. Similarly, when this body (Udal) that houses the breath (Uyir) and the soul (Atma) is on the verge of collapse it can be saved for the moment and its lifespan extended. If the soul needs to move on, the breath leaves for good and does not return. The body dies. The soul builds another body from scratch to live in, bringing the breath within.

We are asked to know about the Tattvas that govern the body and take care of it. We are asked to know the breath and govern it rather than control it. We are asked to realize the soul that brings together both the body and breath and dwells in it. Walking the path of discovery of this body, breath, and soul helps this trinity live longer to accomplish what it came for. But sadly we are using them for our selfish gains, damaging the body by not caring for it; wasting the breath and diminishing its count through wasteful activities; and living our lives in ignorance of the soul that is Agathiyan; eventually wasting this precious opportunity given to take birth as a human.

First, there was a calling to the path. Agathiyar in the Kaanda Nadi spoke about life's mysteries, karma, and birth. Then the Siddhas called on us to care for the body through the numerous Aasi Kaandam readings. Then the call to move up the ladder from Bakthi to Gnanam was made with the coming of Tavayogi, the guru in physical form. In giving us Yogic practice he called us to observe the breath, Siva, the lifegiver. Agathiyar came later to call us to go within. To help us do this, he had us give up worship, rituals, and all acts of charity. We were taught to let go of even the good deeds that would call for another birth where we shall be rewarded for it. In traveling within we shall come face to face with the soul. We then identify it as the Self. We become one. Yegan. Agathiyan. We settle within, at peace with the Self, complete in all aspects, till the final calling comes to leave everything behind and head for home.  

Sound of Silence

Speaking to Mahindren who dropped by my home after work yesterday, we agreed that divorce is becoming too common, even among our families, relatives, and friends. Marriages seemed short-lived these days. It makes us wonder what made our parents and grandparents stay together or glued together even in the worst of situations. In the very past people were living close to nature and one with nature. They need not travel the distance to be with nature. They found solace and solutions in nature. Just years ago, one could step out from their home or office environment and take a walk with nature in the neighborhood or city parks. We could take a stroll down the beach or go for a hike in the hills and cool it off. It instantly refreshes and rejuvenates both body and mind. My boss at the office who was a devout Muslim, would fetch his bag and leave the place whenever he was angry with others and their decisions. Another boss of mine not realizing that I was coming by the corridor, raised his foot and kicked the wall upon stepping out of the meeting room to let off his anger. He is now a monk at Yogananda Paramahansa's Ranchi mission. So did some take their problems to the Gods in the temples and places of worship and sat before their favorite deity in silence, tears welling in their eyes and flowing down their cheeks. They would cry in silence before God. 

In times like these, we could turn to our loved ones. But if they too are caught in the problem or part of the problem or contributing towards it, we shall not find a solution. We need to seek advice from a third party. But how can they help us unless they have gone through a similar situation? Then again what worked out for them might not work for us. Many these days turn to the Kaanda Nadi written by the Siddhas in the past or the Aasi Kandam or Jeeva Nadi spoken in real time for solutions. 

We could turn to songs to comfort us. 

The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel

Hello darkness, my old friend

I've come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains

Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams, I walked alone

Narrow streets of cobblestone

'Neath the halo of a street lamp

I turned my collar to the cold and damp

When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light

That split the night

And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light, I saw

Ten thousand people, maybe more

People talking without speaking

People hearing without listening

People writing songs that voices never shared

No one dared

Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools", said I, "You do not know

Silence like a cancer grows

Hear my words that I might teach you

Take my arms that I might reach you"

But my words like silent raindrops fell

And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed

To the neon god they made

And the sign flashed out its warning

In the words that it was forming

And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls, 

In tenement halls"

And whispered in the sounds of silence

(Source: Musixmatch)

Sadly though these days we take to social media thinking we shall find solace in the words of others. Yes, many might sympathize with our plight and give us the courage to move on. But sadly equally many shall throw brickbats and hurt us more as a result of hatred which has led to suicides, as in cases of cyberbullying. 

I too was happily posting on my numerous websites about my pilgrimages and my gurus when a friend picked up a photo of Supramania Swami from my website and posted it on FB. Someone he knew gave a nasty comment. I happened to come across it and told myself that I shall not let others ridicule my guru. I deactivated all my websites and my YouTube channel too. Later when I informed Tavayogi of my drastic move, he asked, "Why son? Let it be. People will come to know about the Siddhas through this medium too." I started from scratch building up these lost pages and videos, turning off commenting this time around.

Jnana Jothiamma who was minding her business and finding her way back to Agathiyar too had enemies who reached out to Tavayogi and spoke ill about her to him. I too might have made enemies traveling this path. To them I extend both my hands and ask for forgiveness for to err is to be human, for aren't we all here to experience life and learn lessons?

THE LURE OF MAYA

Last night I received a voice message from a devotee residing in a foreign country with his new family. After having to go through much, he told me that he decided to take a break from devoting his time to God. I replied to him "So be it". He was disappointed that he had lived by the book but yet nothing took place in his favor. Moments ago I was moved to relay to him asking him to take one thing at a time. If we were to see the whole picture it surely would be scary and give us the jitters. If we were to take small steps each day eventually we would arrive somewhere. All things shall come to pass. Just as nothing is forever or permanent be it our properties, relationships, or life itself, so too the pleasures of life, happiness, and suffering being momentary shall fade away. He needs to be strong and stay strong. I told him not to throw Agathiyar out but to let him stay in a corner of his heart.  

I am midway through watching the movie "Srikanth". I paused the movie to write this post. When with all our senses intact we still think twice and often back off from a venture, here we have a visually impaired kid wishing to become the first-ever visually challenged President of India. I was reminded in this movie not to lose the people close to us in chasing our dreams. I am reminded too that if we lose our self-respect we will never gain it again and never be able to rise up again. I now understand why gurus too get caught in sexual misconduct, sex scandals, and pornography and slip and fall flat on their faces, having their names smeared and tarnished. With energies swirling within, the sexual urges run high and drive us to lose our hold on our senses. The spiritual path is akin to walking on a razor's edge. If many have fallen in their prime and the height of their spiritual career, the vigil and strong survived these onslaughts. Ramalinga Adigal sings of the Sakthis or energies that tried to lure him off the path as he began to travel to the kingdom of Siva. But he ignored them. Vishvamitra and Buddha too were tempted by Menaka and Mara respectively with the intent to have them fall from grace. If Buddha with his determination to pursue the course or path, did not succumb to it, the former fell for it. 

As the about-to-be Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama, sat in meditation, Mara brought his most beautiful daughters to seduce Siddhartha. Siddhartha, however, remained in meditation. Then Mara sent vast armies of monsters to attack him. Yet Siddhartha sat still and untouched.

Mara claimed that the seat of enlightenment rightfully belonged to him and not to the mortal Siddhartha. Mara's monstrous soldiers cried out together, "I am his witness!" Mara challenged Siddhartha, who will speak for you?

Then Siddhartha reached out his right hand to touch the earth, and the earth itself spoke: "I bear you witness!" Mara disappeared. And as the morning star rose in the sky, Siddhartha Gautama realized enlightenment and became a Buddha.

(Source:  The Demon Mara, Who Challenged the Buddha (learnreligions.com))

Due to his penance and the power he achieved through it, Vishvamitra frightened the gods and even tried to create another heaven. Indra, frightened by Vishvamitra's powers, sent Menaka from heaven to earth to lure him and break his meditation. Menaka successfully incited Vishvamitra's lust and passion. She succeeded in breaking the meditation of Vishvamitra. However, she fell in genuine love with him and a girl was born to them who later grew in Sage Kanva's ashram and came to be called Shakuntala. 

(Source:  Vishvamitra - Wikipedia)

Maya was at work in me too. I too was put to the test on several occasions by Agathiyar and Lord Murugan and later by Agathiyar and Lord Shiva roping in Indra to lure me into a state of confusion created by the invisible and invincible hand of Maya. I guess I came through unscathed, able to distinguish the real from the false. After eradicating all past karma by doing remedies and carrying out noble acts and service to offset and balance the scoresheet of merits and demerits; dropping personal likes and desires and taking on the desires of the divine instead and seeing them through; learning to drop my hold on all things gathered be it property or fame, position, and authority, etc, and even those that the divine desired for me; walking into the last phase of the journey I arrived at the state of acknowledging that all these is the creation and work of Maya; where after dismissing them as Maya, I stepped onto the battleground now facing the enemies within, that is my weaknesses that shall bring disgrace and dishonor if I lose my guard. This is the reason Ramalinga Adigal advocated the way of love and compassion. Only this shall bring us to sail these rapids at the tail end of our journey. Agathiyar having completed all the Tapas and Tavam was told by Lord Shiva that he had yet one task awaiting him to make him complete or gain the state of "Paripuranam". Lord Shiva asked him to get betrothed to Lobama. I guess this was the reason, Agathiyar briefly left my home for the homes of several devotees before returning with Lobama to keep us company at AVM. When a sudden fear came over me it made me pace the floor in the middle of the night for 3 consecutive days. It left the moment I embraced my wife. Nothing else worked. Not even sitting in the prayer room and chanting. We are safe as long as we are with our wives. I guess Maya shall stay away when we are in the company and in the arms of our wives and vice versa. So now we understand why holy men and gurus betroth and settle with a wife after fairing well as a mendicant. I guess this is the reason Agathiyar has asked that I be betrothed again to my wife this coming Guru Purnima. He has asked me to start doing puja daily until Guru Purnima when he shall come.

THE CROWN

For some reason, I was told by Dr.Krishnan way back in the nineties when I used to frequent him seeking to learn of the predictions from my horoscope not to allow another to massage me. When the energies were activated in 2011/2012 by the Yogic practices that Tavayogi passed on in 2007 and which I put into practice diligently, Agathiyar through the Nadi gave prescriptions to bring relief from the excruciating pain in my lower back. He had me end my Yoga practice. The exercises the physiotherapist gave me eventually released the knot in my lower back and brought instant relief. When the pain appeared again in 2016, Dhanvantri came through a devotee and applied his sacred ash that a couple had brought over from their visit to his temple in India and passed me then. Tavayogi and Mataji who were in Malaysia at that time to attend and bless my daughter at her wedding passed me a herbal preparation. When the pain came on again in 2018, and though I never sought any aid, Agathiyar prescribed herbal remedies in a Nadi reading and sent a Medical doctor to give me an injection at the spot, sent a Gym instructor to teach me several exercises, and sent a Varma exponent to massage the Varma points and finally Lord Murugan sent a Nadi reader over and came over both in the Nadi and a devotee and healed me with the touch of the peacock feathers and the recitation of the Arutperunjhoti mantra. 

After the energies were awakened in the Muladhara in 2007 and during the pandemic in 2019/2020 when Agathiyar began to come through devotees as the Nadi readers had returned to India, he had warned me not to allow anyone to touch the crown of my head. When the energy burst its banks in Manipuraka and subsequently traveled to the Sahasrara in 2022, Agathiyar reminded me again about this restriction. The swirling sensation felt initially about two fingers below the belly button and later in the crown of the head comes on often and even as I pen these words.

It reminds me of the story of a devotee from Hyderabad who visited Matha Amruthamayi in Kerala and came before Yogi Ramsuratkumar in Tiruvannamalai later seeking his blessings. The Yogi did not bless him. When his followers asked him the reason the Yogi replied that he did not want to disturb the blessings the devotee had received from Matha. During my initial years of searching for anything and everything to do with the Siddhas, I made acquaintance with the followers of Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar of Ongarakudil based in a local affiliate of his in Dengkil. I was coaxed to visit him during my maiden pilgrimage to India in 2003. But he did not bless me too even after asking numerous times. He finally replied that stepping there itself was a blessing. How should I comprehend and understand this? I felt sad and confused and left. Several days later I met Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai and a wonderful bond between guru and disciple was cemented till his passing in 2007. Later in 2008, Agathiyar through a couple of Nadi readings asked that I go over and meet Rengaraja Desigar. But I never went back. I had Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal to guide me further. Even when Tavayogi told me that I had come to the right place when he was here to officiate a local affiliate in Batu Caves of his Kallar Agathiyar Gnana Peedham, telling me that I shall learn much from those who started the local Peedham, Agathiyar decided that I should learn directly from Tavayogi telling me in the Nadi reading to get another initiation in private and visit his Kallar ashram. Tavayogi brought me places and initiated me once more before sending me back home. In 2013 I and my family visited his ashram and later in 2016, I visited Kallar ashram again with the AVM family this time. 

When a seeker in his 20s who had been to numerous places both locally and overseas and returned after his long stay there, he came to know of a visiting guru and went over to meet him. The guru placed his hands on the seeker's belly button and initiated certain energies that began to swirl, just like what I had experienced upon waking up in bed in 2022. But if I had Agathiyar to monitor me and these energies, the guru left for India and the seeker was left on the verge of going cuckoo. I came to learn from his wife later that a local guru of his had caused certain blockages in him too for reasons only know to him. But when approached he did not lend a hand to bring him relief. Agathiyar finally healed him when they came over. They are one happy family now. 

Another seeker came seeking advice regarding certain energies that traversed in him. When I asked him to go back to his guru who had initiated him, he told me that his guru too had gone cuckoo and was roaming the streets. Agathiyar saw him but he was more concerned with who came rather than be concerned over his health. He sought relief from several other gurus locally and in India. I guess he is cured now seeing his active postings on FB.

Someone from New Delhi emailed me asking if Tavayogi could heal him. He had followed numerous practices given by numerous teachers. Asking him to go back to his masters he replied that none could help him out of his predicament and suffering. After 8 years when I wanted to find out his state, he replied that he was still in pain.

When one walks this path he has to be careful from whom he receives initiations, practice, and teachings. He has to be continuously in touch with his guru updating him on the changes that take place within him. I am grateful that tavayogi knowing that he too would have to leave when his time came, showed me to Agathiyar instead. I am blessed that I have Agathiyar looking over my shoulder and my family. We are forever grateful to him. 

Agathiyar on Weddings

Returning from my niece's wedding over the weekend brought back memories of Tavayogi and Mataji having taken the trouble to travel to Malaysia in 2016 to witness and bless my daughter's wedding. 

And they are now parents to three wonderful kids.

If we were honored to have them attend the wedding and grace our home back then, Agathiyar expressed his wish to see me and my wife conduct our 60th wedding to coincide with Guru Purnima Day. He went on to explain about weddings and the reasons for asking us to do it. If he had brought together many youths after their Nadi readings to my home that later took on the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), where Agathiyar desired them to watch and learn the Siddha puja and rituals and bring them into their own homes making each home an AVM too, in having us carry out this 60th wedding he wants others to live together too till their old age in these worrying times of escalating cases of divorce. We agreed to undertake and carry out his wish. We are truly blessed when the guru oversees our lives and guides us. 

P.S. When I sent the link of this post to Anuradha Gajaraj-Lopez who compiled the conversations her father had with Agathiyar, she forwarded and shared a compilation of the discourses on the subject of marriage from "Agasthiyar Vazhipaadu".

https://drive.google.com/file/d/11TxEfdUW4W2KgXgmzIiNnaNWkCODOkZn/view?usp=drive_link

LIFE'S TEACHINGS

Over the weekend I met someone who had stepped on the wrong side of the law, had multiple encounters with the authorities, and had stepped before the magistrates to the extent she remarked "Not you again! What have you done now?" Does a situation drive us to do something that we regret later? Are we a victim of circumstances and consequences? Though it seems so, eventually it is apparent that we have a choice in each moment to decide to take action or defer, to speak our mind or refrain from speaking and hold back our tongue. I guess it's a matter of making choices and taking responsibility for our choices and not blaming another, fate, or destiny. Listening to him share the incidents that shaped this young man's life from an early age, I saw a movie unfold. If previously I would have judged this youth according to his act, I could accept these, these days for that soul had asked to experience these and he had the other souls come to oblige and fulfill his wishes. So must I, have carried wishes, that have come to fruition in my life too. Just as darkness is required to know light, wrongdoing, and injustice have to happen to establish right and justice. So too people of various colors and tones, habits and characters shall teach us the opposites. 

Walking over to a Chinese society that I presumed catered for worship too I asked if I could enter to look around and maybe worship the deities, the caretaker or volunteer I presume told me it wasn't time yet. We have contained God in a space and made him available to man during certain hours of the day. When our charity arm, Amudha Surabhi volunteers instead of delivering food door to door in several apartments as in the past, for a change, prepared and distributed cooked food to devotees at an adjacent temple, the priest waited until the Nitya puja or daily puja was over to voice out to me telling me that we should wait for the curtains to the inner sanctum be drawn aside and the puja conducted first for only then shall the Goddess know and see what we are doing. This shocked me. I asked myself if a simple curtain could block the all perversive energy from seeing us. I asked if God works 9 to 5 like us? Or is God only in attendance during set times? Should not God be available to us at all hours? It looks like we have passed on our traits in the worship of God too. We have ended up visiting God on certain days and times of the day. When are we going to be fully immersed in his thoughts and let go of all these external rules that forbid this merger? I began to drop my faith in middlemen, those assigned as guardians of God and those who use God to manipulate man for their convenience. We missed the mark and seem to be shooting elsewhere. We have lost sight of our target and are deviating further and further away from our destination. 

Why am I shown the weaknesses of others? Is it to bring me to do things better or differently. This is what Lord Murugan in asking me to build a temple for him said I shall show him in a different light. This is the reason the Siddhas came to set things right and bring us back on track but sadly no one listens as Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal lament. Eventually they, like the ravaging fire shall raze down the forest, setting fire to all the wrong practices, burning them to ashes.

While many sit and watch time pass by, some watch the buses come and go, and some others tend to wait longer intending to catch another bus later, they do not realize that age is catching up with them. The total sum of breath that they brought with them at the time of birth would eventually be used up in all their daily activities. They shall run short of breath trying to catch the last bus. 

On another note, I have come to realize that existence is all about creating spaces and containing the life forces that are inherent all around and defining the undefinable with languages and words. Beginning with civilized man building a home for himself and later places of worship and learning etc, it is all about protecting himself from nature's force in the first case, creating spaces to pull in and contain nature's forces in the second, and dispersing his knowledge to the masses in the last case. The human body too serves a similar purpose. The Siddha path that is pointed out by a guru brings us to explore these forces in nature, which otherwise would be a mere existence, living in the world of Siva and keeping to Sariyai. Soon we explore the rituals in Kriyai that bring down these energies into our homes and we stand witness to explosive moments and encounters with them. In exploring Yogam, these energies are now experienced within our bodies. Finally, in bringing oneself to sit quiet, these energies are transformed even further from the gross to the astral and finally the subtle. Gnanam or divine revelations dawn from within. We come to understand and realize that we are one and that we are the one. Everything settles down as we rest in peace. We can exist amid the turmoil. Unperturbed we stand watch as the guardian and witness. We become Jeevan Muktas until the final calling comes to leave the gross behind and merge in the subtle. 

But in holding on to these principles I end up getting alienated. For instance, I am accepted only if I drink with them or talk politics. But I can only talk about Agathiyar. When I scout for others who think and act like and are on the same frequency as me there is hardly anyone. I end up being the lone traveler. I guess that is the reason Agathiyar told me that henceforth I have to travel alone as the path narrows and permits only one at a time. I have come to realize that however much I try, I cannot sync with society, which as Annie Besant wrote is on a coarser plane. Once we have left this plane for the finer planes it is impossible to make a U-turn to please those who choose to stay behind. Neither can individuals and society understand nor stomach our ways. I guess this had led many to stay away and apart minding their work and what they came for. 

Finally, Agathiyar came yesterday through a telephone conversation with a devotee and asked me to start puja or worship again at my home till he comes again on Guru Purnima. The statues of Agathiyar and Lobama too have returned to AVM. We eagerly await the day that is dedicated to giving obeisance, paying our respects, and showing our gratitude and thanksgiving to the Guru. 

KASI

When I stopped to fill the fuel tank in my car recently at a petrol station, an attendant walked up to me to assist. He was a foreigner from Bangladesh, a Muslim by faith. Out of the blue, the young man told me to go to Kasi and explained the route telling me it was not difficult. This surprised me. It surprised me further as it came from a Muslim. A couple of days ago when I went to return a kitten, belonging to a neighbor, whom I found in my garden as it looked sickly, the young man too out of the blue asked me if I had been to Kasi. He was a Malay and a Muslim by faith. This made me wonder if it was a call to go over?

I have not been to Kasi. My brother with his family, my sisters, and my nephew have been there to carry out rites in the past for those loved ones who have passed away. Tavayogi called me from Kasi some years back telling me Agathiyar had instructed him to go there. As his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar was from Kasi, Supramania Swami shared his desire to see Kasi but his age and state of health did not favor the long trip. He never went. 

When we are living life joyously, the sudden news of the death of someone related to us or whom we knew momentarily brings us to realize the impermanence of life or rather this physical body. But we tend to go back to doing our business as usual after several days. But going by the many documentaries and videos made in Kasi, death is a daily affair where people simply come to die. I guess for those living here as it is a daily thing they have become accustomed to death. 

Shantanu Moitra, not able to accept the sudden passing away of his father due to Covid, travels the full length of the Ganges from its source to the Bay of Bengal, bringing us the sights and sounds of the river and its people. He returns a changed man. His perspective of life and death had changed. 

We are all a Buddha. We are no less than the other person. If one is seen as a saint, guru, or master, it is just that he has taped into his resources and energies and with divine grace arrived at the understanding and begins to see himself as one. We too are capable of achieving the same. This is what and where the Siddhas bring us to. Agathiyar has told a couple of devotees that they too were gurus in their own right and not to seek further. He added that the knowledge learned, earned, gained, and gifted had to be transferred to others. This is how each and everyone helps the other evolve besides making personal strides on the path. The Siddhas too did the same, bringing many to the fold. Looking through the books and the net we come across the names of Siddhas who made it into this long list. They are then worshipped by seekers, aspirants, and devotees. Just as one has to touch the feet of another to progress further in any discipline, the disciple comes to the guru or vice versa and pursues a lifelong journey of discovery. Initially being a seeker and searching the globe, he comes to settle at the holy feet of his guru and besides learning from him, imbibes his energy. While Tavayogi without announcing did wonders that brought on miracles and changes in me, Supramania Swami gifted me the merits of his 40 years of Tavam and Tapas or austerities. Later Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal carried on with these wonders that brought awe and wonder in us. This is the difference between academic and spiritual studies. 

Just as the monk who spent years learning from his guru in the monastery atop a mountain is told to go down to the village to spread the teachings, just as Guhai Namachivayar sent away his disciple Guru Namachivayar to Chidambaram, Tavayogi upon completion of his tapas in the caves and jungles was asked to look up a place known as Agathiyar Vanam in Kallar by Agathiyar and start an ashram. Later he was asked to come over to Malaysia to spread the word. With his coming, we gained a guru and were gifted with the teachings of the Siddhas. 

Would I be going over to Kasi? Only Agathiyar knows. Maybe it would fulfill Supramania Swami's wish. 

MUSIC TO THE EARS

When I went for my morning walk and later stepped into the restaurant to break my fast yesterday, the manager who was from Karaikudi, India out of the blue said to me that one should have a liking for what he does. Hours later when Ratnam, our friendly neighborhood pest controller came over to my home for a routine check, he too said the same. But on a sad note, he told me in his profession he had killed many tiny lives. I told him what my wife said and held to. If it is a pest it needs to be rid off. Otherwise, it would do much harm and damage to life and property. Indeed a mosquito bit my daughter and a year later bit me that had us both warded for days in the past. It is easy for the masters and gurus to live by the principle of "Jeeva Karunyam" or love for other beings for they own nothing except the robe that they adorn.

It is also equally difficult to hold on to the principle of non-interference. If a car was to knock into our baby or kid, would we just watch? If a home was burning down would we just watch? If someone was drowning would we just watch? If someone had fallen off a building or cliff would we just watch? If someone attempted to commit suicide before our own eyes would we just watch? This is where we have a choice either to interfere or otherwise. Which would you choose? My brother who adopted the principle of Ahimsa, not willing to kill a life, would blow away the mosquito when it landed on him. But it was a different story after he had a child. He too began to hit them when he had a newborn baby. Just imagine if all the doctors were to lay down their tools not wanting to interfere with man's fate. I strongly believe that God comes as doctors and nurses to help mankind, just as saints do.  What if the firefighters too stopped to just watch the fire engulf the buildings? Hence there are many in many sectors that provide service and strive for the upliftment of the living standards of man. While they do these as a profession and as work, the saints on the other hand bring upliftment to our souls, doing it out of love. They have us work on us. 

I used to walk by beggars in the past without dropping a dime. It never occurred to me to help them. It never occurred to me that they were hungry. I was not touched by the plight of others. I was in my own world. Though we were not well off, we never went hungry. There was always the coconut meat that I would scrape off its shell and appease my hunger, after finding nothing else to eat in the kitchen. But coming to the Siddhas my heart opened up after Tavayogi and Agathiyar asked us to carry out charity and feeding. All the initial acts of helping others brought their plight to our attention and we slowly began to connect and share their troubles. Compassion slowly blossomed in our hearts. I believe if I was purposed to improve the lives of these unfortunate souls, Agathiyar would have had us at AVM and Amudha Surabhi carry on with our activities and service to others. But I have come to figure out that my mission was something else that Agathiyar has yet to reveal, for he had me stop this phase of Karma Yoga and focus on the next stage that of Raja Yoga, taking care of the body and the Self to know the Self within. Today I cannot stand to see the plants wither in the summer heat. Ramalinga Adigal sings that he is saddened seeing the crops wither in the heat. If I used to chase away cats in the past, these days I cannot bring myself to see kittens that are ever playful fall sick. I guess I am beginning to connect and am touched by these souls rather than seeing them as mere names and forms as I did earlier. Agathiyar used to say that he only addresses our souls. 

Speaking about the magic of music in the YouTube series "Songs of the River", Shantanu Moitra learns that the singer Bombay Jayashri has been caring for children with autism for some 17, 18 years, using music to heal their souls. Expecting the audience to sing words of praise as usual after one of her shows, Jayashri was taken aback when a kid walked up to her and told her repeatedly that she had sung wrong which hurt her. She came to know the next day from his mother that he had autism. True to what he had said when she received the recordings of the show later she saw the mistakes she had made without realizing it. She says that that boy Prakash that day actually cared for her performance. This changed her perception of many things she tells Shantanu. "Then one thing led to another. My student Abhinaya and I spoke about it." She told her student Abhinaya, "Maybe we could share music with children who are inclined towards music." They started visiting schools where they had special children and singing for them. She tells us that she has been doing it for about 17, 18 years (at the time of the interview).

Later I came across a documentary "America's Musical Journey" that spans the whole origin and evolvement of American music. Here too we are told that children with autism who have trouble connecting with anyone connect with music better than with people. "Music has a profound power. And today doctors are finding out that music is a powerful tool that helps kids with autism. Words are a challenge for children with autism. They often find music easier to understand because music is processed by a different region of the brain", says Morgan  Freeman.

Similarly, my daughter pointed out that those who stammer to speak, sing wonderfully though because they use a different part of their vocal cord. I told her that a short film was made that spelled out the same. 

On our homefront, watching what had transpired over the years at AVM, we realized the power of songs and music to bring down the Siddhas and deities and bridge both worlds.

Indeed music is known to pacify and calm us. My pulse has dropped to 55. Then I learned from watching a documentary that the pulse of animals in hibernation beats only three times in a minute to conserve energy. I guess Agathiyar in having me slow down also slowed down my pulse. I cannot retain anything or rather nothing stays for more than a moment in my mind. It is lost the next moment after it arrives in my ears. I do not hold anything in me. It is like a blank space with nothing written permanently or in permanent ink and I have nothing to think about. Am I losing my mind? Is it good or is it a medical problem or is it due to my aging? But though it is obvious that I am aging, it is equally obvious that I am growing new hair in the bald patches I had on my head in the past. My hair is turning black. How does one explain that? Agathiyar in coming through a devotee brushed my hair and pointed this marvel to those gathered asking what else he should do to make people believe. My sexual urges are high and I still enjoy sex with my wife. Agathiyar now wants us to get married again during the coming Guru Purnima. He wants us to be dressed in our marriage attire and have family and friends around. I am no monk or mendicant. I shall be a family man till my last days says Agathiyar. Using us as standing proof, Agathiyar wants us to show his children that his devotees should get married and stay married, erasing and alleviating the fear in many that the Siddhas would break up the party and the relationship between husband and wife and force them to take the path of a mendicant or Turavi. My guru Supramania Swami too lived with his family till his last days attending to his Tavam. One could ask how it is that Tavayogi instead became a Turavi. Tavayogi voluntarily chose to take up the path after regaining his eyesight. He wanted to repay Agathiyar for the gift of sight that he lost in his 20s. He turned a Turavi as promised when he turned 50.

THE JOURNEY PART 2

I continue from where I left, having left to send my daughter to work and stopping over at a park for my morning walk and to break my fast, having my breakfast before returning home. 

The pain that began in the lower back used to travel to the right groin and at times to the left, the testicles, the buttocks, the back, the neck, and the head. Initially unsure if it had anything to do medically and to ascertain whether I had some medical problem, I used to consult the doctors. Agathiyar assured me that it was all part of the process of transformation. The pain was always manageable, with Agathiyar brushing aside my complaints and having me not give much attention to these moments. 

The severity of the tug in my lower back and the excruciating pain that forced me to squat on the floor, bringing me to my knees, and had me crawl out of my shower after I had forcibly cleared my throat as I brushed my teeth in 2011, came on again with a sneeze in 2018, bringing me to halt in my footsteps in the middle of the street. I drove myself hard to drive back home. If the mild pain that came on in 2016 went away on its own, Lord Muruga had to come through a Nadi reading and simultaneously come through a devotee to heal my back in 2018. 

In 2022, Agathiyar breaks the bunds and releases the energies that had ponded at the Manipuraka having it traverse to the higher regions swiftly. After lying as a corpse from the neck down and witnessing this phenomenon, which began after I felt a tug, some two fingers down the belly button, it created a swirling feeling that over the next few days stayed at numerous camps en route to the summit at the crown of the head where it stayed on for days. Soon a feeling that of the blossoming of numerous petals was felt at the crown that brought joy and bliss within. Soon I could connect with the bliss that prevailed in the air and the surroundings, often literally lifting me off the feet just as in the moments the divine energies of the Siddhas came within me to speak and walk our home. 

After witnessing and experiencing all these phenomena that were beyond our understanding, when I asked him what I should do further, he told me "Do Nothing. It (the energies) will do their work." 

And so he led me to another phase of the journey where after engaging actively in Karma Yoga, including carrying out rituals and puja, and charity, and engaging with Raja Yoga, bringing discipline and attention to the physical body and the breath, he then had us drop everything and brought us to still the mind sitting in solitude, alone and doing nothing. If in the first two, we were actively engaged and focused on our efforts, sitting in silence which did not need any effort on our part, brought composure and peace within. Soon though we were aware of the happenings, noise, and sounds around us, it was not important nor did it interfere or justify the need to rise or interfere. 

These days I spend much time with my(Self). I spend much time in the company of my Self. It is in these moments that the subjects and the words come rushing within prompting me to leave whatever I am doing to note and later develop these writings. I too am learning for sure with you, the readers of this blog, as we all travel this path that the Siddhas took way back in the very past. Our efforts in learning never fail us. It comes in handy in our times of need. At times it's an asset to us. We shall appreciate God, the creator when we follow the findings revealed in nature documentaries. It is truly amazing what nature and creation teaches us. 

When my elder daughter broke her leg; when another daughter was found to have retina detachment and had dengue fever earlier; and when I had dengue fever too; and when my wife had to remove her gall bladder; and when we all had Covid recently, Agathiyar came and stood beside us assuring that all shall be well. It was because we had come to Agathiyar and held on to him that we stood strong in the face of challenges. 

Watching the end credits of the movie "Varnashramam", the saying of Dr. BR Ambedkar that goes as follows "If caste was to determine and take hold of society, let the breeze that blows bring on the poison", "சாதிதான் சமூகம் என்றால் வீசும் காற்றில் விஷம் பரவட்டும்" truly jolted me off my seat, seeing the intensity of the hurt and anger he had against the practice of the caste system. Ramalinga Adigal and later Supramania Bharathi too tried to break our hold on this. Does not his prayer, "Let the breeze that blows bring on the poison" remind us of the recent COVID that threatened us all? These words remind me of the time I told my family "Let the world be wiped out" when we read and heard about the atrocities that man did and are still doing towards another. But my daughter who was pretty young then told me "Appa, don't wish for that for I have not lived my life fully." She had her reasons, purpose and a life to live. 

THE JOURNEY PART 1

When we begin to walk the path of the Siddhas, we unknowingly have embarked on a journey within that of a total transformation in all sense. The calling came in 2001 mysteriously through my nephew who was affiliated with a temple and a guru during his university days in Penang. Keeping it a secret initially, I soon came to know a year later that it was a calling from Agathiyar through his Paramaguru Gopal Pillai who came through a devotee. Agathiyar's message, the Vasudeva mantra that he gave me to chant, and the directive to observe the upcoming Navarathri puja were delivered to me by him coming through my nephew. I had refrained from all forms of practices, home and temple worship, reading, and discussions which I had embarked on after leaving my home to begin working in 1980, after Lord Shiva came in a dream in 1988 and asked to keep the questions and doubts that had disturbed me mentally to another date. Agathiyar kickstarted the cycle again. Agathiyar threw a gift telling me that I would meet my guru mysteriously, after preparing myself to meet him through these practices.

In making it known to me of the ever-mind-boggling and mysterious Nadi through my colleague during one of our casual chats at the office, he moved me to seek my Nadi too. Agathiyar made the calling to come to his worship and that of the other Siddhas and deities in 2002. Agathiyar kickstarted the cycle again but from another platform, that of the Siddhas.

Agathiyar as promised showed me to Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai in 2003 as I embarked on my maiden pilgrimage to India. Agathiyar had directed me to carry out remedies for my past mistakes. In 2005 he brought Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal to our shores and another wonderful guru-disciple relationship blossomed concurrently. Agathiyar sends me to his ashram to learn more, a month after his return to India. Agathiyar, asking Tavayogi what he would gift me, has him take me on a walk to his abodes, caves, and temples, giving me my first astounding miracles. Speaking about these in a later Nadi reading, he promises to show me more on this soil. He kept his promise to this day. 

The moment we embarked on this journey of discovery, unknowing to us we had set an internal transformation in motion. The sights and sounds that we discover in traveling to these places and the experiences we gain trigger the start of the journey within. Just as we cleanse ourselves externally by dipping in the holy waters, our internals go through a process of purification by carrying out worship or puja and charity. The Yoga Asanas and Pranayama techniques that Tavayogi showed us and which we put into practice beginning in 2007, saw fruition in 2011. Unknowing to me, the practice had triggered the energy that drives us all, and all of creation, to move into other frontiers. This energy that drives us to move and perform our daily routines each day, and that returns to base camp at the Muladhara to hibernate at the end of each day, began to travel to higher altitudes. I would collapse and wring in pain, my torso involuntarily twisting and turning as a snake beaten up. But as Agathiyar came to brief, the pain was indeed blissful. Still traveling it takes a break, residing in the numerous camps on the way up. Traversing Svadhisthana it gave rise to an acute pain in the lower back that was akin to the symptoms from sciatica. I had to endure and live with this pain during the years 2011 and 2012. Agathiyar in a surprising manner brought relief from this excruciating pain when the physiotherapist had me perform the exercises she had shown me before her. I felt a knot released in this exact spot that had me crying aloud in joy. Agathiyar asked that I halt all my practice. Arriving at Manipuraka the energy began to pond. In 2020 Agathiyar revealed this after I practically laid on the bed like a corpse. Except for being aware in my head of all that was going on, felt, and seen, I was numb and "dead" from the neck down. I had the experience of how it would be to be dead as a doornail. 

To be continued.

(As I have to send my daughter to work)

RETURNING TO SCHOOL

We tend to bring the manner and approach in which we deal with the material world when walking on the spiritual path too. For instance, we might have gone to numerous doctors but nothing seems right. Finally, we might be cured by one and shall sing his praise. But we forget that all the previous doctors and medication had done some good (or bad) before the last attempt. This last doctor to treat us gets the name. So is it with the spiritual field. We might condemn the earlier masters and praise the one we are with now not acknowledging that they had a hand in our spiritual development. I met a Malaysian who went in search of masters on the path of the Siddhas during my visit to Tavayogi's Kallar ashram in 2013. After 25 years of search, he arrived at Kallar ashram and was singing the praise of Tavayogi. But when he began to open up about his previous stays in numerous other ashrams and about their masters, condemning them, I knew that it would not take long for him to say the same of Tavayogi when relationships were to turn sour. He should have been grateful that the earlier ashrams and masters had given him (free) food and shelter during his travels. True to what I expected, he did not stay long at Kallar but eventually returned to Malaysia. This is the nature of man. He is never grateful for the things in life. Bringing me momentarily to share whatever practices and methods I adopted with others about puja and rituals and Yoga, Agathiyar had me carry out certain drastic measures that might have caught others by surprise and angered them. But I carried on with the directives of Agathiyar who knows best. I would rather please him than others. The master goes on with his work never letting the views and opinions of others deter his journey. 

The atheist father of the devotee who passed away several days ago, though he held to his beliefs, never stopped the Siddha puja his daughter arranged to have in their home in 2016. Tavayogi presided over the event. But he excused himself in a gentlemanly manner and went for a walk just as we were about to start. 

Knowing that he sang well I requested him to sing when my wife and I visited his home. He had his daughter bring out his harmonium which was stored away for a long time. It had collected dust. He dusted it and began to sing the songs of Ramalinga Adigal. After many years of abstaining from singing in public, he took up our invitation to sing at a temple where we conducted a Siddha puja later. I was truly won over by him for though he held to his beliefs he accommodated our wishes. After his death, the funeral was carried on minus the usual rituals just as he had wished for. When we have Godmen who under the garb of religion and spiritualism harm others, here was a soul who led a decent and honest life, upholding his principles till his last breath, and above all not harming anyone. Agathiyar came in a Nadi reading for one of his daughters later and revealed that he was accepted in the fold of the Siddhas. Agathiyar had accepted the manner his last rites were carried out too. We need to learn a lesson here where events unfolded before us that brings us to compare the devotee who searched high and low for Agathiyar as mentioned earlier and this soul though an atheist who was accepted by the Siddhas. Indeed God and the Siddhas do not differentiate man nor alienate him for his principles and beliefs. God accepts every one. He is all forgiving, unlike man. So we're here to re-learn the traits of God with whom we were once together. Over time, we have forgotten our relationship and bond with him over numerous births. Now we have to be reminded to fit into his mold again. We have to return to him or rather return to become Godly in all manner.

GIVING BACK

 

When Tavayogi was in Malaysia for the very last time in 2016 before he passed away in 2018, he expressed his gratitude to me for making him a household name bringing him to the attention of many seekers around the world through this blog and my YouTube channel. I did it without any expectation. I did not seek his attention or favoritism. In fact, when he expressed this at a gathering that we called "An Evening with Tavayogi" where we had all the Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) family members gathered around, he took me by surprise. What else could I give in return for his time and attention on this miserable soul but to speak about him and extol his greatness. Supramania Swami too surprised me by asking me to do Tavam telling me that only then shall his stature rise. How can my doing Tavam help him? It looks like we are all connected, even with the lineage of gurus. It works both ways. We help each other. 

I only saw it right to expand the circle of people who knew Tavayogi and Supramania Swami as a show of my gratefulness to them for all that they showered on me and my family. I remember Tavayogi asking me to speak about the Siddhas when I drove him to Banting for the opening of a Peedham or affiliate branch of his Kallar Ashram back then. I was dumbfounded as I was pretty new to the path and knew nothing about them. My cunning mind looked for an escape route. I spoke a few words about Tavayogi whom I physically knew and deviated to singing the Arutperunjothi mantra where all those gathered followed suit. But I eventually began to speak about Agathiyar in later days out of love for him and shared how he started making magic and miracles in our lives and eventually gained ground in our hearts to the extent he tells me that we are one. Now there is no moment when I do not speak about him or he is not in my thoughts. We have indeed merged together. I am grateful to my gurus for linking me with the Siddhas and this bond.